<?page no="0"?> About Harsh Dogs and Grumpy Hedgehogs The correct way to deal with people at work and in everyday life Nello Gaspardo <?page no="1"?> Nello Gaspardo studied agricultural economics at the Technical University of Munich, worked as a freelancer in the field of communication and negotiation techniques and wrote his dissertation at the Faculty of Political Science and Philosophy at the Philipps University of Marburg. For 23 years he was Professor of Rhetoric, International Negotiation and Leadership at the ESB Business School, Department of International Management for MBA Program, Reutlingen University. He is active worldwide as a consultant and seminar leader in the areas of verbal and nonverbal communication, international negotiation, leadership and conflict management for several internationally operating organizations and companies. <?page no="2"?> Nello Gaspardo About Harsh Dogs and Grumpy Hedgehogs The correct way to deal with people at work and in everyday life UVK Verlag · München <?page no="3"?> Please join the author on YouTube! You only need to enter Nello Gaspardo in the search field! Umschlagabbildung und Illustrationen: © Die Illustrationsagentur, Will Piktogramme: © appleuzr (Seite 4), © DivVector (Seite 20), iStockphoto Bibliografische Information der Deutschen Nationalbibliothek Die Deutsche Nationalbibliothek verzeichnet diese Publikation in der Deutschen Nationalbibliografie; detaillierte bibliografische Daten sind im Internet über http: / / dnb.ddb.de abrufbar. 1. Auflage 2020 © UVK Verlag 2020 - ein Unternehmen der Narr Francke Attempto Verlag GmbH + Co. KG Dischingerweg 5 · D-72070 Tübingen Das Werk einschließlich aller seiner Teile ist urheberrechtlich geschützt. Jede Verwertung außerhalb der engen Grenzen des Urheberrechtsgesetzes ist ohne Zustimmung des Verlags unzulässig und strafbar. Das gilt insbesondere für Vervielfältigungen, Übersetzungen, Mikroverfilmungen und die Einspeicherung und Verarbeitung in elektronischen Systemen. Internet: www.narr.de eMail: info@narr.de CPI books GmbH, Leck ISBN 978-3-7398-3096-4 (Print) ISBN 978-3-7398-8096-9 (ePDF) ISBN 978-3-7398-0097-4 (ePub) <?page no="4"?> “It’s not about seeing something new; it’s about thinking something new with what you see” Arthur Schopenhauer <?page no="5"?> for my wife and my daughter <?page no="6"?> Dear reader! Privately and especially professionally, you are confronted with different types of people on various occasions. You have probably noticed that the personality of your counterparts appears even more pronounced in a stressful situation. While you have no difficulty in communicating with some of the other’s idiosyncrasies, other character traits are more or less challenging for you. If these, from your point of view, difficult contact persons are important for you in your professional life, an optimization of interpersonal communication is necessary. Because people are fundamentally different, the application of an approach that is appropriate for a particular person and situation is consequently recommended. Moreover, an empathy-based approach is a useful tool for a good interpersonal relationship. This reading should give you practical tools that you can use when dealing with different types of people in various situations, with the aim of optimizing the communicative relationship with these conversation partners. Because the description of different character traits is somewhat abstract, nine known animals that metaphorically represent certain types of human individuals are presented and treated in detail. Generally, images often help to better understand and memorize the given content. The animal comparison will therefore only be used metaphorically as it only serves to illustrate the presented ideas. As you read, you will wonder what kind of animal you are. However, it is even more important to know which animal type or animal types represent the biggest challenges (issues) for you in a given context. In the book, you will find precious and practical tips for optimizing communication and collaboration, especially with demanding people. <?page no="7"?> 8 Dear reader! The book should not be a scientific essay, but a useful reading for everyone. It was designed for readers who are interested in good interpersonal communication, especially in professional life. I wish you a lot of fun with the reading! Your Nello Gaspardo The following animal types are referred to in this book as female or male respectively. The opposite gender of course is also addressed in each type, even if not mentioned explicitly. <?page no="8"?> Contents Dear reader! .......................................................................................................7 The idea Why such a title? ............................................................................................15 Goals and methods .........................................................................................16 Source analysis and positioning..................................................................16 Daily, spontaneous interpersonal communication.................................19 Why animal metaphors? ...............................................................................23 The predominant characteristics of animal types at a glance ............27 Different types of people ..............................................................................29 Type of person »dog« - impulsive worker What you should know about dogs! ..........................................................31 Body language of the dog .............................................................................37 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour..............................................................38 Dealing with dogs...........................................................................................40 You should pay attention to dogs! ..............................................................42 Type of person »horse« - prudent thinker What you should know about horses! .......................................................45 Body language of the horse..........................................................................51 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour..............................................................52 Dealing with horses .......................................................................................53 You should pay attention to horses! ..........................................................54 <?page no="9"?> 10 Contents Type of person »monkey« - fidgety source of ideas What you should know about monkeys! ..................................................57 Body language of the monkey.....................................................................62 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour..............................................................63 Dealing with monkeys...................................................................................64 You should pay attention to monkeys! .....................................................68 Type of person »bigmouth frog« - the talkative buddy type What you should know about frogs! .........................................................71 Body language of the frog ............................................................................77 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour..............................................................77 Dealing with frogs ..........................................................................................78 Excursus 1 | Dealing with the combination frog-monkey ..........................82 Excursus 2 | The talkative monkey-frog at a doctor’s visit .......................84 You should pay attention to frogs! .............................................................86 Type of Person »lamb« - shy teamplayer What you should know about lambs! ........................................................89 Body language of the lamb...........................................................................95 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour..............................................................95 Dealing with lambs.........................................................................................97 Dealing with two different types of people (lamb and dog) ................98 Excursus 3 | Possible course of a business negotiation between real estate agent, lamb and dog ............................................99 You should pay attention to lambs! ........................................................ 101 Type of person »hedgehog« - grumpy performer What you should know about hedgehogs! ............................................ 105 Body language of the hedgehog............................................................... 111 <?page no="10"?> Contents 11 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour........................................................... 112 Dealing with hedgehogs ............................................................................ 113 Excursus 4 | Two hedgehogs as leaders ................................................... 114 You should pay attention to hedgehogs! ............................................... 117 Type of Person »hippopotamus« - slow duty performer What you should know about hippopotamuses! ................................. 119 Body language of the hippopotamus ...................................................... 123 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour........................................................... 124 Dealing with the hippopotamus............................................................... 124 Excursus 5 | Giving a presentation in front of tired spectators (hippos) ....................................................... 126 You should pay attention to hippopotamus! ......................................... 128 Tpye of person »giraffe« - diva-like competence carrier What you should know about giraffes! .................................................. 131 Body language of the giraffe..................................................................... 137 Masculine vs. feminine behaviour........................................................... 138 Dealing with giraffes .................................................................................. 142 Excursus 6 | Vertical Communication and Cooperation in a Clinic ...... 145 You should pay attention to giraffes! ..................................................... 147 Type of person »fox« - clever strategist What you should know about foxes! ...................................................... 151 The body language of the fox ................................................................... 157 Male vs. female behavior ........................................................................... 158 Dealing with foxes....................................................................................... 158 Dealing with the human type combination fox-dog........................... 162 <?page no="11"?> 12 Contents Excursus 7 | A professor with fox-dog qualities tries to deal with his students (vertical communication) ................................ 163 Excursus 8 | A professor with fox-dog qualities tries to deal with his colleagues (horizontal communication) ....................... 164 Dealing with the combination dog-fox .................................................. 166 Dealing with the combination dog-fox-giraffe..................................... 167 You should pay attention to foxes! .......................................................... 168 Conclusion .................................................................................................................. 171 Remarks ...................................................................................................................... 173 Bibliography .............................................................................................................. 175 <?page no="12"?> The idea <?page no="14"?> The idea of writing a book on the subject of dealing with different types of people was basically brought to me by the many listeners who participated in my lectures, workshops, presentations and seminars. The content of these events met with a lot of interest: My listeners not only wanted (and still want) the presence of a speaker, but also a reference work with valuable and practical tips for dealing with different types of people in various situations of professional life. Thus, I decided to design it for a broader audience without wanting to make a scientific claim. During my professional career as a professor and seminar leader for communication, international negotiation, body language, conflict management and leadership, I have been intensively involved in interpersonal communication for years - both scientifically and practically. This allows me to compose a reading that relies on scientific-empirical knowledge as well as on experiences of everyday life. The case studies and application-oriented tips are the result of 40 years of international teaching at various universities and companies. Why such a title? The word dealing implies a relationship and some personal connection with a person, in which the context plays a central role. A conversation on a specific topic can have different connotations, depending with whom (person) and in which situation it is conducted. Dealing with people requires the development of interpersonal communication. In communication science, the term communicare (to communicate, to share, to participate), which is derived from Latin, is defined as the exchange of messages or information between people. The verbal, so the spoken language, the nonverbal language - i.e. the body language, facial expressions, gestures, eye contact and spatial distance - and the voice (paraverbal) are used as information channels. <?page no="15"?> 16 The idea Facts ∣ Paraverbal communication Paraverbal communication refers to messages that are heard. Example: The inflection, pacing, pitch, and tone of speech; the emphasis one places on particular words, phrases, or pauses while speaking. This book is focused on HOW an interpersonal communication and relationship take place, under consideration of the participating types of individuals, their intentions, and the given context. Goals and methods The main objective of this book is to optimize interpersonal communication, collaboration, and the management of employees within an organization as well as the negotiation with individuals outside the company, for example customers. The main goal is to improve the communication skills of the sender and receiver regarding cooperation, leadership and negotiation: this will be achieved by the targeted observation of nonverbal elements, by active listening, by conscious perception of the personality of the other person and finally by the use of adequate means of communication depending on a specific corporate context. Source analysis and positioning A thorough analysis of various sources in the fields of verbal and nonverbal communication, leadership and negotiation was carried out by the author. Scientific-empirical research and profound personal experiences in this field are also a major element of this reading. Communication scientist Paul Watzlawick expands the interpersonal communication process. With his five axioms 1 , which include both <?page no="16"?> The idea 17 the content and the relationship aspect, he delivers communicationspecific instruments. The psychologist and communication scientist Friedemann Schulz von Thun 2 further elaborates on Watzlawick’s interpersonal communication process. With his four-page model (also known as the four-ears model), he describes the importance of interpersonal relationships for the mutual understanding between people involved in a conversation. Active listening, the conscious use of empathy 3 and considering the given situation are the prerequisites for a good and goaloriented conversation. This book describes how to communicate and collaborate with people who cannot or do not want to listen. Pantomime and body language expert Samy Molcho 4 , scientists Desmond Morris 5 and Michael Argyle 6 also explore the importance of nonverbal elements. The quintessence of body language is primarily to consciously perceive nonverbal signals of the sender, i.e. facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, and posture, and to interpret these signals in various situations in face-to-face communications. Good observation of and active listening to the conversation partner are two essential components of interpersonal communication. Both the nonverbal and the paraverbal language are described in detail in this reading as adequate tools for establishing an empathetic relationship. A third component of the communication process is the context, i.e. where and with what intentions the sender and receiver meet, because the interpretation of the transmitted visual and auditory signals depends on the specific situation. A presentation (monologue) followed by a discussion in front of friends is quite different than in front of colleagues, clients, or bosses. A business negotiation with a satisfied customer is by no means the same as with a dissatisfied client. A conversation between a supervisor and a subordinate is obviously more difficult than between cheerful and relaxed colleagues. <?page no="17"?> 18 The idea The area Leadership is covered, inter alia, by two American writers: psychologist Daniel Goleman 7 deals extensively with people’s emotions, and scientist Stephen R. Covey 8 describes some interesting leadership styles. These and other works from this field focus on leadership rather than on the personalities of the people involved. Only Goleman describes human emotions in more detail. This book explains how to optimize the relationship between supervisors and subordinates with different personalitiesfrom the point of view of the dependent employee - by giving practical tips and helpful examples. The Canadian author Patricia Pitcher describes in her book “The Leadership Drama” 9 three types of leaders: artists, craftsmen, and technocrats. The book contains the authentic example of how the “technocrats destroyed what the artists had created and protected the artisans.” In her work, she explores the qualities of executives who either need to be brilliant visionaries or empowered to get employees to do their best. In Pitcher’s work, only the figure of the artisan is similar to the type of individuals to which the metaphor of the horse is assigned to in our discussion. Her dissertation is focused on the empathetic abilities of a leader in managing three types of people. This book does not deal with three, but nine main types of people and their relationships on three different levels: horizontal, vertical, negotiation. There is a number of interesting textbooks dealing with negotiation techniques. For example, by Willem F. G. Mastenbroek 10 lecturer in Corporate Culture and Communication, and by Harvard scientists R. Fisher, W. Ury, and B. Patton 11 . In addition to the classic negotiating instruments, the authors focus on a specific situation, however, they neglect to analyze the personalities of the opponents. <?page no="18"?> The idea 19 The area of negotiation - i.e. the relationship between in-house and external people, primarily customers - will not be described here. Instead of analyzing classic negotiation tactics, techniques and procedures, the focus will rather be on the different characteristics of a contact person in a particular business context. The publication combines these communication components, which have not yet been dealt with in this form in academic and popular literature. Authors and their works are mentioned, but not quoted verbatim. Daily, spontaneous interpersonal communication In everyday life, the people involved in a interaction process more or less consciously apply all the communication tools described. The more harmonious and clear the exchange of views, the more relaxed and open is the exchange of information, impressions and personal interpretations of things. Sender and receiver are honest in this specific case and show good mutual trust. The nonverbal, paraverbal, and verbal tools are congruent. They are not subject to any special observation. Speakers and listeners act naturally and spontaneously. They are in perfect harmony with each other. According to Schulz von Thun both opponents use the same ear. However, when content or relationship-related disturbances occur during a communication process, conversation partners begin to listen more attentively and pay more attention to perceptible nonverbal signals. The recipient of the message analyzes the content (primarily the what) as well as the facial expressions, gestures, and voice (primarily the how) more accurately and thoroughly. He or she compares whether content and packaging (auditory and visual) appear to be consistent or inconsistent. As soon as a participant perceives and interprets verbal and nonverbal messages as contradictions, he or she becomes spontaneously critical and, depending on the situation, even suspicious. This occurs in particular when uncertainties arise due to ignorance, fears, discomfort or lies. <?page no="19"?> 20 The idea Apart from well-trained individuals with a strong command of their body language, (that is, individuals who show an effortless, confident and persuasive attitude even in the most difficult of situations), most people send inconsistent auditory and visual signals in difficult situations. These signals can be easily deciphered by an attentive communication partner through critical observation and active listening. In addition to these influences, which generally occur when exchanging messages, personality and behavioural attributes are important. Therefore, the particular types described in detail below, presented here with the help of nine animal metaphors, play a major role. The concentration of visual and auditory resources allows for an empathetic verbal approach. see hear talk Simply talking is not the main point here, it is rather about the specific choice of a suitable terminology. This allows the speaker to adapt his approach to a specific situation. Already before starting a conversation, the speaker must define the purpose and intentions of his presentation. He or she can select at least three important basic goals: » Informing » Convincing » Persuading <?page no="20"?> The idea 21 Facts ∣ Informing, convincing, persuading Informing means giving facts, information, telling something to somebody. When informing somebody you only need the necessary information. However, if you want to convince your listeners, you need specific arguments (e.g. facts, data, figures, evidence, pros and cons, etc.) to validate your point. The word convince is derived from the Latin word convincere (con- ‘with’ + vincere ‘conquer’ capable of making somebody believe that something is true or real). Rational arguments are essential for this type of speech. When trying to convince somebody, you need to be aware of the content of the facts you are presenting. The word persuade is derived from the Latin word persuadere (per- ‘through, to completion’ + suadere ‘advise’ to cause (someone) to believe something). To persuade someone means primarily affecting the emotions of your listener. The process itself is more empathetic. For instance, charismatic people are very persuasive thanks to their strong personality. They can easily affect people emotionally. According to the British Dictionary, some traditionalists deplore the distinction between to convince and to persuade, maintaining that to convince should be reserved for situations in which someone’s belief is changed but consequently no action is taken (he convinced me that he was right), while to persuade should be used for situations with an outcome (he persuaded me, not he convinced me to seek more advice). In order to achieve these goals, the speaker - the employee, the manager, the negotiator - has to master the content (hard skills) of the situation, but should also be informed about the listener (soft skills). The harder your counterpart seems to be to handle (from the point of view of the speaker), the more important it is to persuade him or her. <?page no="21"?> 22 The idea Observing human behavior is the only way to gain important insights about your contact person. Interpersonal communication involves at least two partners whose personalities may either be similar, different, or completely different. Several personal factors, such as sympathy and antipathy, are of great importance in interpersonal relationships. Hierarchy levels undoubtedly affect daily communication and collaboration at work. Thus, the relationship between friends or colleagues is different than between subordinates and superiors. The negotiating position of buyer and seller also depends on certain factors. The party who is in the allegedly weaker position must adapt more to the situation than the party who is in a stronger position. Basically, people spontaneously tend to adapt their verbal and nonverbal language as well as their behaviour to the personal characteristics of the recipient and the given situation. In this book, various types of human individuals are presented by using nine selected animal metaphors. They represent people, e.g. acquaintances, friends and professional colleagues, customers, suppliers, supervisors or subordinates. The meaning of these different types of people is crucial for the people involved in a conversation. If your neighbour - in your subjective opinion - is a difficult person, the conversation can be rather uncomfortable. As long as he or she has no considerable influence on your professional and private life, the conflict is rather insignificant. However, if this person is your supervisor, an important customer, or a professionally or personally significant person, the situation is completely different. <?page no="22"?> The idea 23 Example! At a seminar for private banking advisors, a participant presented a certain human-animal type (nouveau rich) as a very unpleasant and difficult customer for him that he would like to avoid. He explained that he has five similar types as private banking clients that he absolutely dislikes. However, these five clients account for 80% of his client portfolio. If he were to lose them, he would be unemployed. Therefore, he must accept these unpleasant five human-animal types and make the most of the situation. In order to do this, he has to completely separate the person (difficult, important customer) from the content. This is by no means an easy task. Why animal metaphors? What is a metaphor? A metaphor is a figure of speech containing an implied comparison. Metaphors are members of the figurative language family, which also includes elements like similes, onomatopoeias, and personification. Metaphors are illustrations that make a strong point by comparing two things you would not necessarily pair together. Metaphors make things more tangible and support your understanding. Some examples: “She was fishing for compliments.” The woman is not literally casting a lure to hook compliments out of the ocean. “He broke my heart.” Your heart is not literally broken; you are just feeling hurt and sad. “Time is a thief.” This metaphor illustrates that time seems to pass quickly and our lives flash by. “The wordless football player lets his legs speak”. Legs can do many things, but they certainly cannot speak! Partly, metaphors also fill semantic gaps that could only be closed by elaborate paraphrases (for example, bottlenecks). In advertisements , metaphors are essential, as they transport positive emotions. This is a helpful strategy for encouraging the customer to buy the product. <?page no="23"?> 24 The idea Generally, readers memorize images with familiar themes easier than long and complicated explanations. Important facts about animal metaphors! The nine selected animals are: » Horses » Dogs » Monkeys » Frogs » Lambs » Hedgehogs » Hippopotamuses » Giraffes » Foxes By presenting these animal metaphors, it is by no means the author’s intention to portray some of the animals as good/ pleasant and others as bad/ unpleasant. The presented animal metaphors are common in general jargon. The character traits assigned to them can be very well associated with certain human behaviour. They have a great impact and stay in the readers’ memory. The individual animal metaphors are used to describe the behaviour of human individuals (human types), but not the cause of this behaviour. Also, the unique characteristics described do not take into account the mental ability, education, expertise or professional experience of the discussed human type. A hyperactive monkey does not necessarily have to be less intelligent or capable than a smart fox or a confident dog. A shy lamb may not be able to present his or her skills as brilliantly as the rhetorically skilled giraffe. However, depending on the situation, the habitual reluctance of a lamb may seem more likeable, pleasant, and thus often more favourable than the behaviour of an arrogant and snooty giraffe. <?page no="24"?> The idea 25 In other terms, there are no good or bad individual features. What is most important is a correct dosage of these features in the right situation. A successful football team cannot only consist of delicate superstars with good technical skills. It also needs players who have a strong sense of community and victoryattitude (i.e. feisty dogs). A well-functioning team consists of a variety of individual people that complement each other in their skills and personality. The strength of a good team is its heterogeneity. You should know that! »The selected animals and their behaviour (see picture on the next page) are deliberately presented in a striking way. This approach facilitates the reader’s understanding of these character types, although in reality there might hardly be any individuals who actually correspond to the “pure form” of one of the presented animal types. The combination (mixture) of some animal types relativizes the presented character traits that are described in a rather bold fashion.« <?page no="26"?> The predominant characteristics of animal types at a glance type characteristics dog ∣ dominant, impulsive, shows teeth, driving force horse ∣ accurate, careful, objective, cooperative monkey ∣ hyperactive, impatient, erratic, innovative frog ∣ talkative, curious, selective listener, sociable lamb ∣ shy, inconspicuous, barely speaking, attentive listener <?page no="27"?> 28 At a glance type characteristics hedgehog ∣ introverted, critical, suspicious, reliable hippo ∣ phlegmatic, barely listening, passive, unperturbed giraffe ∣ self-confident, power-obsessed, arrogant, educated fox ∣ smart, careful listener, eloquent, challenges people <?page no="28"?> Different types of people <?page no="30"?> Type of person »dog« - impulsive worker predominant characteristics: impulsive, dominant, shows teeth, driving force What you should know about dogs! The house dog (canis lupus familiaris), is a domestic animal. Its wild origin came from the wolf. The beginning of its domestication is fairly discussed. From scientific researches, it varies from 15,000 to 100,000 years BC. The dog is one of the most loved pets. There are several expressions that underline the love that people have for the dog: » “The dog is the only human being on this earth who loves you more than himself” (Josh Billings). » “Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies” (Sigmund Freud). <?page no="31"?> 32 Type of person » “One’s own dog does not make noise, he barks only” (Kurt Tucholsky). » “Man is the only human being doing business. No dog exchanges one bone with another” (Adam Smith). » “Who has never loved a dog, does not know what it means to love and be loved” (Arthur Schopenhauer). With his 42 teeth the dog does not give up prey In this book, the dog becomes additional connotations. This person is stylized like a resolute, enthusiastic, hard worker, dominant, impulsive, risk affine, often noisy, assertive and ready to fight. Interesting in this context is his denture: his 42 teeth. Four of them are called in Latin dentes canini (singular dens caninus), so canine teeth. This association and other traits form the main characteristics of this animal metaphor. The dog has further feature properties. These are marking the territory, the use of space, the forward orientation, the expansion effort, the strength measurement and the difficulty to use the break. Regardless of race and stature, the dog favours spontaneous combat than long discussions that - according to it - are boring, too harmonious and compromises oriented. The dog wins respect, the barking and - when necessary - even the biting is part of his repertoire. Generally, the dog does not avoid confrontation and risks even a possible escalation. Above all very dominant dogs love to attack. Win the strongest. They are comfortable with aggressive and rowdy contractors. Selective listening and fast actions Not all dogs bark and bite, and not all those who bark bite. As long as the dog is concentrated and cooperative, he should not be provoked in vain. When, however, the interlocutor is a dominant dog also, then he enjoys provoking him. <?page no="32"?> Dog 33 During a lively discussion, the dogs mainly listen in selective form. Their impulsiveness leads to rapid actions and quick and spontaneous decisions. The details for them are not that important; they prefer to leave the analysis to the experts. People with the typical characteristics of the dog do not have the necessary patience and perseverance for the meticulous and exhausting tasks. These properties are rarely present in dogs. Dogs willingly take the initiative and encourage collaborators and contractors. They love to challenge colleagues and opponents. In a team, they are a driving force. One cannot imagine, for example, a football (soccer) team without at least one dog that struggles, plumps and shows the opponent which side he has to go. With its way of playing resolute and, if necessary, even without compromise, he allows his technically more gifted companions to show off their technical talent without being involved in hard physical contact. The dog takes this annoying role for the stars. The former Dutch player with dog characteristics, Jaap Stam, expressed himself in an interview in this way: “With me passes either the ball or the player, but in no way both of them together”. Dogs are not hypersensitive Dogs are combative but fair combatants. They hand out and takes easily. Even after a bitter defeat, they rarely behave oversensitive like a mimosa. Because they instinctively want to win a fight, they simply fight back at competitions - without hesitation. When two highly emotionally charged people (aggressive dogs) meet, the situation quickly escalates. The more a participant is emotionally charged, the less rational his claims and viewpoints are. It happens more often that two excited and impulsive people quarrel despite only minor concrete differences. If you ask them the true reason for their dispute, they will not find a plausible answer. <?page no="33"?> 34 Type of person Possible main causes of dispute in this case are mutual antipathy, rivalry, a claim to power, the pure showdown, sheer quarrelsomeness as well as the endeavour to leave the battlefield as winner. Also, in politics, there are dog types who do and perform similar tasks as in a sports team. Peaceful, prudent ministers and political leaders occupy the key positions with strong, loud, uncompromising, and assertive state secretaries, so with dedicated and faithful dogs. Less emotional intelligence Thus, the dog fulfills the role of the bad guy. Not in demand is the emotional intelligence (D. Goleman). In particular, self-management and empathy find no place here. Tempo and results are desired in this function. It is interesting to observe the dog behaviour of journalists, experts, and politicians in television discussions. When the presenter wants to pacify heated duels between the opponents, she or he gives the floor to the quieter and more confident participant. This discussion guest quickly ensures an objectification of the dispute. Meanwhile, the polite person gives the dog a big - too big - attention. He or she strives to establish a professional contact with the loud, impatient, dominant, and impulsive dog. He or she quotes his opinion, statements, etc. and builds a communicative bridge. However, such behaviour is often seen by the dog as a reward and a welcome opportunity to take the initiative again and regain the discussion leadership. The factual panellist feels taken by surprise and is not always able to use the moderately restored by the moderator conversation ability. Now both have a problem. <?page no="34"?> Dog 35 Several managers with dog qualities work in companies . They can spur and motivate employees and colleagues to achieve the targeted business goals with enthusiasm and dedication. In leadership positions, take dogs the coercive leadership style described by S. R. Covey. Dogs drive orders; their way of communicating is mostly top-down. There is little room for critical posts. Here, dogs carry the full decision-making responsibility. Dogs often tend to grab several interesting functions as well as projects of great importance. They only delegate, if absolutely necessary. They prefer to control the business. Dogs are often proud, power-oriented, combative, and successful entrepreneurs with a great influence on their employees. Their resoluteness, direct, dedicated, and dominant attitude can be the cause of passive behaviour among insecure, shy and reserved employees. They feel like minor children. In this situation, lesssecure co-workers quietly execute the instructions of their boss (dog), without arguing or commenting. They feel little integrated and, in some cases, even victims. A hard nut to negotiate In tough negotiations, the dog often takes the persistent positions, also at the expense of flexibility. In principle, he reluctantly makes compromises and risks a possible failure of the negotiation. As a result, the dog can appear highly repugnant on so many harmonyoriented, sensitive, and willing-to-compromise negotiators. A negotiation or controversial issues with a dog do not necessarily lead to an escalation of the dispute. Aggression-prone people can also behave quietly and argue objectively. The response of a person depends - in this particular case - on the behaviour of the other individuals. At least two people are involved in a conflict: the one who incites the dispute and the other who accepts it and engages in a confrontation. <?page no="35"?> 36 Type of person In this case, a loud and persistent or even obstinate dogfight, takes place between two or more emotionally charged combatants. You should know that! »However, this striking description applies mainly to purebred dogs. Everybody can react impulsively, aggressively and quarrelsome in stressful situations, without necessarily being a dog. Sometimes, even quiet, gentle, taciturn and shy people can show pronounced and completely unexpected dog behaviour in provocations and personal attacks. Circumstances and quarrels turn calm and gently people into aggressive combatants. If one encounters the so-called weak point or the sensitive point in these individuals, their reaction is unexpectedly impulsive, aggressive and even destructive. Purebred dogs explode with a certain regularity and predictability. They even expect a certain contentiousness from them.« Dogs generally show sinusoidal eruptions. In the so-called dogexplosions time, duration and intensity are mostly predictable. This underlines the predictability of a person with predominantly dog behaviour. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of human type dog » Enthusiastic, euphoric, impulsive, loud » Energetic, determined, resolute » Impatient, listens selectively, interrupts Time Explosion <?page no="36"?> Dog 37 » Dominant, prevails » Initiative and decision-oriented » Compromise averse, confrontational, risks escalation » Hands out and takes » Barks and bites too » Provocative, many opponents (enemies) » Shows teeth, combative, fight » Aggressive posture, takes lot of space, direct view, challenge » Vulnerable » Behaviour predictable Body language of the dog Apart from age, body size, physical constitution and function, canine types show a safe and resolute attitude. Their steps are loud and firm. They approach the people and take the initiative. At the welcome, they have a firm handshake that conveys security and dominance. With extremely strong dogs, one counts after the excessively firm handshake even the left-over fingers! If the dog is sitting opposite his opponent, he directs his gaze on him and challenges him with relish. In heated discussions and disputes, dogs can also show their teeth. This is an indicator of their willingness to fight and bite. You should know that! »Regardless of the room temperature, dogs first pull out their jackets and roll up their sleeves. Now they are ready to act or fight. While sitting, they spread their legs and take up a lot of space. This is a signal of dominance (S. Molcho). Dogs underline their interest in the cause with their forward upper body. The rocking of the legs, the drumming on the table, with the fingers or the ballpoint pen, manifest their impatience and, depending on <?page no="37"?> 38 Type of person the context, their irritability. Their keen eye is intense and focused on the listener. On controversial topics, they search with open and rigid head for the open confrontation with the opposite. They would most like to get up to continue and intensify the fight.« Dogs radiate confidence and power when they stage themselves with thumbs up. They issue commands by pointing their index finger upwards or towards the contact person. While listening, one can notice their aggressiveness on the pistol-shaped thumb and forefingers (S. Molcho). Masculine vs. feminine behaviour Both genders like to display their dominant position. In women, the nonverbal signals are more subtle and sophisticated, especially when wearing classic women’s dresses such as skirts or costumes. When they wear trousers (in particular jeans), they often spread their legs, but not as much as their male colleagues. Irritability and impulsiveness are almost identical in the male and female dogs. This not only affects the already mentioned rocking with the legs, but also the drumming with hands and fingers on the table. For greetings, women have a firm but not too hard handshake. Gait and steps are as secure in women as their whole posture. Their eye contact is direct, but not so intense and less threatening than with the masculine dogs. Directness, voice, impulsivity, dominance, and contentiousness are almost identical. Female dogs in leading positions do not differ significantly from their male counterparts. The terminology used is rich in imperatives in men and women of this human race. Both prefer clarity and directness to harmony and compromise. Vertical head posture and frontal attack are a primary male domain. Women are known to smile more than their masculine <?page no="38"?> Dog 39 counterparts (D. Morris). This also applies to dominant and aggressive women. When they smile or laugh, they inevitably show their teeth. Regardless of specific types of people and their behaviour, the combination of smile and teeth shows a reduction in aggressiveness. However, this increases the ambiguity. Male interlocutors, who prefer clear and unambiguous circumstances, react a little confused and - depending on the situation - even irritated. Basically, it is not easy for men to decode the symbolic connection of the teeth (aggressive posture) with that of the smile (kindness). They find it difficult to hide their embarrassment. With purposeful use of this effective weapon, women do much easier than their masculine contact person. Their motto is: hard on the matter, gentle on the means, whereby in typical female dogs and their nonverbal means are perceived as severe. Overview ∣ Male and female dog types Male Female Strikingly dominant Irritable, impulsive, easily attackable Very loud, very direct Handshake very firm Sure and loud gait Imperative form pronounced Loud interruptions Shows teeth without a smile Nonverbal signals unique, easy to decode Often rolls up sleeves Posture very confrontational Room occupancy very pronounced Dominant Irritable, impulsive, vulnerable Loud, direct Handshake tight Gait sure, less loud Imperative form pronounced Less loud interruptions Shows teeth with smile Nonverbal signals ambiguous, difficult to decode Rarely rolls up sleeves Posture confrontational Room occupancy less pronounced <?page no="39"?> 40 Type of person Dealing with dogs The louder the dogs involved bark, the more chaotic and unpredictable the discussion becomes. On the other hand, if counterparts want to reduce tension and enable de-escalation, it is advisable to use asymmetric tactics. Because the disputants during their explosive phase primarily respond to the facial expressions, gestures and above all, to the voice of the opponent, the interventionist party should first control their own nonverbal and verbal language. Continence is required, so prudence and calmness. On the other hand, if the involved people behave symmetrically - both sides act identically - it will be difficult or almost impossible to reach the concrete goals. At the heart of the dispute is only the emotional side, but not the matter. An amicable agreement and the maintenance of a long-standing relationship are at risk. If two persons - for example, two colleagues - with strong dog characteristics are on the same hierarchical level, they like to take on the fight even with small differences. If neither of them accommodates, the conflict escalates. This could have incalculable consequences. A physical separation of both fighting cocks is the logical consequence. With widely divergent disagreements, one should not pay too much attention to the excited dog. It is advisable to look at the other panellists and to give the dog less visual appreciation. You should know that! »During controversial discussions with dominant and powerful disputants, it is important to avoid rocking with your feet, to show an overbearing and provocative posture, to direct your index finger or pen against the barking dog. Long, loud, chaotic, hot and stressful conversations with such persons are to be kept to a minimum. It is always better to stifle such conflicts as soon as possible and to suffocate in the bud. Direct confrontation, <?page no="40"?> Dog 41 physical closeness, frontal posture, and intense and threatening in the eyes are harmful and increase the aggression of all involved.« Especially when dealing with supervisors or customers with dog attitude, it is advisable to behave like a prudent horse, i.e. not interrupting the contact person, avoiding overlapping conversations, actively listening, talking quietly, showing calmness, acting in an appropriate manner, keeping tranquil and waiting until the dog has reached the pinnacle of his aggression. Then he calms down gradually. Without the expected strong resistance of the opponent, the dog loses the desire to continue barking and even biting. Now is opportune to show a reasonable, controlled, and positive attitude. Only then does the dog begin to actively listen, think rationally, and to argue concretely. Especially in stressful situations, a clear separation of person and content is required. A conversation participant should not necessarily interpret the firm verbal attacks of the other side as a personal attack, but merely as a contribution related to the material content. A cool, low-emotion, controlled and straightforward attitude contributes to a reduction of personal aversions. If for the dog opponent is a hard to deal factual with exited people, he needs the support of a thoughtful person. If there is a difficult meeting with employees, colleagues, or a tough negotiation with an important customer, the physical presence of a diligent person with high self-control (horse) is recommended. The horse will take over a kind of moderation function. He is in a position to calm the discussion, to make it objective and to direct it in the desired direction. As long as the situation has not returned to normal, the dog should let the horse take the initiative in situ, ad hoc play the role of an outsider and act as a listener and observer. After the horse has brought the protagonists with elegance to the raison d'être and steered the discussion in the right path for all concerned, the dog can take over his active and driving function step by step and without digressions. If this attempt at de-escalation also <?page no="41"?> 42 Type of person fails, a pause along with the physical separation of the disputants involved is necessary to prevent an emotionally-induced dead-end. The members of both groups should approve the break as a welcome opportunity. It is an effective means of appeasing the mind and allowing for a different and more constructive approach. The resumption of talks or negotiations should be calm and thoughtful. You should pay attention to dogs! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with dogs » Do not let yourself be provoked, stay calm and patient, adopt asymmetric posture » Control your body language, composure, de-escalation » Keep physical distance, no confrontational aggressive posture, no direct, threatening eye contact » Do not interrupt, do not overlap, actively listen until the dog calms down, then react in a quiet, objective and goal-oriented manner » Disconnect content from the person, do not pay too much attention to the dog » No submissive, servile behaviour (lambing) or aggressive attitude (dog), showing safety and self-confidence » Do not bring another dog » In stressful and delicate situations, have a charactercomplementary person (calm, prudent, factual horse) and let them intervene specifically » Motivation through challenging tasks, self-responsibility, big goals. Use of his assertiveness and fighting spirit <?page no="42"?> Dog 43 Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with dogs » Shyness, servility, insecurity, fear, submission (lamb attitude) » Too much respect, compliant attitude without quid-pro-quo » Avoiding visual communication » Hypersensitive reaction » Opponents - not the thing - in the centre, personal approach » Listen and argue selectively » Behave like an aggressive and snappy dog, symmetrical behaviour » Acting too emotional, too fast and impulsive, interrupting » Sarcastic, smug behaviour » Seek quarrels, provoke escalation, fight opponents without concrete goals » Provocative attitude (nonverbal, paraverbal, verbal) » Details, details, and even more detail. <?page no="44"?> Type of person »horse« - prudent thinker predominant characteristics: accurate, careful, objective, cooperative What you should know about horses! The domestic horse (equus ferus caballus) is a widespread domestic animal that exists in numerous breeds around the world. Unlike most other pets, the horse was not only used by humans for nutrition, but also for locomotion. The horse helped humans in transport, in agriculture and forestry work. From the 20th century, the classic workhorse was replaced by machines and other equipment. Today, horses are primarily held for leisure activities, which has led to a certain renaissance of the domestic horse. These varied functions of the domesticated horse are presented in this reading as very positive attributes. » The horse is the most pleasant type of human of all nine animal metaphors depicted in this book. <?page no="45"?> 46 Type of person » Despite existing racial differences - a Haflinger (for genetic reasons) is calmer than a white horse - they are among the most constructive employees, colleagues, supervisors, or customers. » A positive attitude, a cooperative attitude, prudence, selfcontrol over one’s verbal and nonverbal language are the essential characteristics of this human type. » Horses are considered as attentive listeners and pleasant and genuine contact persons. With his confidence, the horse has a balancing function In discussions and in workshops, the horse often acts in a rational way. Interruptions, interjections, dominant or aggressive behaviour are not part of his repertoire. His contributions are usually reflected and content-oriented. He only talks when he is allowed to. The horse respects the order of speakers and favours factual, constructive, and goal-oriented discussions and negotiations. Even with controversial topics, he prefers a direct dialogue, if possible, in a relaxed atmosphere. To most horse breeds harmony , compromise and mediation are more important than verbal confrontation or heated debates. Thanks to their self-control, they can hardly be provoked, so escalation is mostly avoided. The horse usually does not show bare dentes canini (canines), if he does, then only with a compensatory smile. This has a positive effect on the contact person. At school and university, horses are good, diligent, predictable, and committed students. Most teachers and professors like these horse qualities in their students. Some fellow students have a different opinion of these perfect companions and often call them nerds . <?page no="46"?> Horse 47 Horses are reliable and predictable Their discourse is structured, clear, specific , but poor in esprit and humour. In lectures and presentations, their self-control stands out. Their use of nonverbal and paraverbal elements is precise but moderate. The same applies to their rhetorical skills. For horses, the content of the discourse is more important than rhetorical excellence. In team sports or group works in a company, horses are cooperative, disciplined, reliable and work for the collective without sticking out. Team spirit, cooperation, loyalty and good interpersonal communication are more important to them than showing off. In horizontal relationships (among colleagues), the horse is the ideal employee. Apart from their individual character traits, it is quite difficult to argue or fight with horses. Their behaviour with colleagues is open, loyal, and inclusive. For these reasons, horses are often referred to as the linchpin of the team. In meetings with supervisors and colleagues they are usually well prepared and stay focused. Charisma is not necessarily the strongest suit of horses Horses are not necessarily charismatic leaders. Politicians of this kind can compensate for this lack with reliability, predictability, solidity, consistency, coherence, and diligence. This is nicely summed up with the saying: “ He works like a horse ” . Because of their strong self-control, horses are hardly open for attacks. Even to an aggressive opponent, they rarely give any reason for verbal attacks. For the quarrelsome attacker, there is no fun in provoking such a person, as these people are usually immune to verbal attacks. This immunity is clearly a great gift of horses. They prefer to engage determined and offensive partners in their fights. Without their support, horses would have serious problems asserting themselves in difficult situations. <?page no="47"?> 48 Type of person In politics, horses also play an important role as peacemakers . Their prudence and emotional balance convey order, orientation, calmness, continuity and above all trust . However, these very positive characteristics can lose their significance in times of serious crisis. A horse’s sober, pragmatic, and bureaucratic approach can be perceived as a weakness by citizens in times of global financial crises and serious terrorist threats. In a precarious situation, the population expects more authority and a demonstration of power from these politicians. If they fail to demonstrate this necessary assertiveness, they inevitably depend on the support of more powerful and determined politicians (i.e. strong dogs). In arguments horses rather leave the barking to the dogs and - if necessary - also the biting. In these cases, they are more likely to withdraw. Only at the end of a fight initiated by them do they emerge as victors again (if it has been won). Horses possess a quite significant emotional intelligence . Their self-management is particularly pronounced, i.e. their control over their own feelings and actions, as well as their relationship management, i.e. understanding and influencing interpersonal relationships. They also possess empathetic abilities, such as the perception and understanding of feelings and relationships of other individuals. Horses like to act in monotasking mode . This requires a high level of concentration without disturbing distractions and annoying interruptions. In this mode, they work most efficiently. They feel uncomfortable and disoriented in a multitasking environment with different, simultaneous tasks and frequent thematic changes. They achieve their greatest motivation and performance in orderly working conditions with clear, linear, and goal-oriented processes. <?page no="48"?> Horse 49 Facts ∣ Monotasking Monotasking is the opposite of multitasking. The term monotasking is composed of the Greek mono “one” or “unique”, and the English word task. In a monotasking environment a task or a job is done one at a time without interruption or change of activity. The elbow mentality is not a typical horse attitude. Horses do not seek confrontation; they do not stir up fights, which - from their point of view - would lead to a not very constructive confrontation. If there are many horses involved at a decision-making level, harmony and objective goals are at the centre. In the case of highly controversial topics and confrontational contact persons, they could possibly appear too relationship-oriented and too conciliatory. A win-lose situation can develop from an initially pursued win-win situation. On paper, horses seem to be the ideal leaders. The described positive characteristics of horses particularly stand out when goals that already have been drafted are specified. The calm nature of horses, their appropriate verbal and nonverbal communication and their prudent leadership are important prerequisites for successful leadership, but do not necessarily qualify them for a leading position. Horses are good-natured and usually so inconspicuous that their employees might not perceive them and therefore might not make an ideal use of their abilities. Horses perform best in a quiet atmosphere. Their predictable, consistent, and reliable leadership style can best be used in turbulent times, for example, when they have to work together with employees in a team with different personalities. As a leader, horses favour a democratic leadership style. Employees are welcome to include their opinions in the conversation. This motivates them and allows them to develop freely at their workplace. Because they let several people take part in the decision-making process, the decisions usually take longer. <?page no="49"?> 50 Type of person Pleasant negotiating partners In negotiations, horses are guided by the Harvard concept. In other words, they treat people and their interests (factual issues) separately. They focus on the interests of those involved and not on their positions. Thanks to their rational orientation, they try to assess the situation objectively. Their continuous search for compromise shows their need for harmony. You should know that! »Maintaining long-term and trusting relationships with employees and external customers enables horses to create stable relationships on an international level. Thanks to their composure, self-control, emotional balance, straightforwardness, and predictability, they are hard to attack. Horses can still take on team responsibility without making any significant character adjustments.« However, it cannot be ruled out that some employees, managers, or customers may not like the fine, accurate, diligent and ambitious nature of the horse. However, the assessment of these characteristics is subjective and often circumstantial. Horse types can by no means be generally described as difficult people. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the horse » Calm, careful » Active listener » Ambitious » Diligent » Accurate » Self-control - verbal and nonverbal - » Balancing » Constructive/ cooperative » Pragmatic, objective <?page no="50"?> Horse 51 » Does not provoke, does not interrupt » Predictable » Reliable, risk-averse » Decides rationally and less emotionally » Does not show enthusiasm and emotions » Empathetic » Loyal, integrative » Modest, is often underestimated Body language of the horse The horse is almost always in control of his body. His walk and steps are regular and rather inconspicuous. His sitting posture is correct and lacks dynamics. The legs do not take up much space. The horse strives to demonstrate harmony and respect with his whole body, but not superiority. The handshake of the horse is firm, but not dominant. His hand gestures show trust and cooperation rather than the willingness to fight. A horse points his finger only on very rare occasions. Eye contact is appropriate, so neither too intense nor too long and by no means threatening. You should know that! »Because of the described body control of the horse, there are hardly any noticeable nonverbal signals. Apart from some rather subtle gestures, the horse emphasizes his composure both verbally and nonverbally.« <?page no="51"?> 52 Type of person Masculine vs. feminine behaviour For horses, there are no relevant gender-specific nonverbal characteristics. Due to their body control and their calm, predictable and harmonious attitude, there are more similarities than differences between men and women. Overview ∣ Male and female horse types Male Female Calm Rather inconspicuous Self-control, quiet Does not interrupt Nonverbal signals are not explicit, not always easy to decode Eye contact pleasant Harmonious language and body language Proper clothing Firm handshake Secure walk, but not inconspicuous Hardly shows teeth Smiles rarely Not the centre of attention Ambitious Constructive, cooperative, integrative Pragmatic, goal-oriented Calm Rather inconspicuous Self-control, quiet Does not interrupt Nonverbal signals are even less clear, even more difficult to decode Eye contact more pleasant Harmonious language and body language Discreet clothing Less firm handshake Secure walk, but not inconspicuous Rarely shows teeth Smiles more often Even less the centre of attention More ambitious Constructive, cooperative, integrative Pragmatic, goal-oriented <?page no="52"?> Horse 53 Dealing with horses Considering numerous positive attributes of this human type, the handling of a horse is relatively easy. Only individual behavioural differences can influence the relationship with horses more or less intensively. Also, among horses there are different and diverging behavioural patterns, for example, regarding eloquence, confidence, dynamics, self-control, or assertiveness, which can cause unexpected reactions. Not all horses are cooperative. In controversial discussions in stressful situations, this behaviour has a positive effect on colleagues and the group atmosphere in general. The presence of a prudent horse as a discussion coordinator and, if necessary, as a mediator is particularly recommended in controversial discussions. The horse appears credible in this role. You should know that! »In difficult conversations with colleagues and employees and in negotiations with external customers, horses are sympathetic towards both relationships and factual information. This is an ideal combination for building long-term relationships. Their approach includes the interests of all people involved. They talk and negotiate in a structured, effective, specific way, without neglecting the human (social) component. Therefore, the resulting agreements are solid and sustainable. Horses have the ability to decrease tension, to build trust as well as long-term connections. As a result, they are indispensable for conducting constructive negotiations.« Horses and other animal types work well Thanks to their objective, pragmatic and at the same time harmonious attitude and approach, horses serve as an ideal complementary support for human types with other or opposite personalities, such as dogs, monkeys, frogs, giraffes and foxes. The inclusive role of the <?page no="53"?> 54 Type of person horse can be taken over by a determined dog. In this symbiosis, horses feel comfortable in dealing with these challenging animal types; they appear authentic and are able to master even difficult situations confidently. On the other hand, the presence of one or more determined and assertive people is necessary in highly controversial conflicts. They spontaneously take on the role of the bad guy, a role which is not necessarily suitable for the prudent and thoughtful horse. Thus, he can also profit from the other human types. You should pay attention to horses! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with horses » By no means ignore the horse » Use his direct, calm, and prudent attitude » Integrate the horse specifically into the conversation » Use his reliability and determination » Win him as a partner » Avoid interruptions » Engage him as a mediator - and if necessary - as a peacemaker » Some tough and sensitive talks and negotiations require the support of a dedicated partner who takes on the role of the bad guy » Use his loyalty to the company and inclusion in the group » Let him build long-term relationships » Create a pleasant working environment with the help of the horse » The presence of a classic horse for the inclusion of other animal types in varied situations is recommended <?page no="54"?> Horse 55 » Motivate the horse by appreciation, inclusion, responsibility, relationship care, realization of long-term goals, creation of harmonious relationships Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with horses » No visual communication » Ignoring him and excluding him » Focusing on dogs, frogs, foxes, and giraffes » Showing impatience » Interrupting him » Not letting him speak » Not including the horse in emotionally charged conversations and heated discussions » Looking for unnecessary conflicts » Listening selectively » No objective and constructive arguments » Unsystematic and unproductive approaches and procedures » Not having specific goals » Showing unnecessary emotions and impulsiveness » Calling the horse a nerd and a perfectionist » Underestimating his skills » No recognition » Engaging him only for short-term, or simple and routine activities <?page no="56"?> Type of person »monkey« - fidgety source of ideas predominant characteristics: hyperactive, impatient, erratic, innovative What you should know about monkeys! Monkeys (anthropoidea simiae or simiiformes), also referred to as “actual monkeys” or “higher primates”, are a group of primates belonging to the haplorrhines (“dry-nosed” primates). In some languages, the term “monkey” is also used as an insult. The meaning of the French verb “singer” or the Italian verb “scimmiottare” is to ape or imitate and therefore these words have a rather negative connotation. In German, the adjective “affig” means ridiculous. In other cultures, however, some species of monkeys are still considered particularly wise and smart. They are even worshipped as sacred animals, e.g. mantle baboons in ancient Egypt or hanuman langurs in Hindu religion. <?page no="57"?> 58 Type of person However, there are various other interesting associations with the monkey: » Just as the monkey in the jungle jumps from branch to branch, people with a monkey-like personality figuratively jump easily and very frequently from argument to argument » The monkey is a multitasker and an impatient individual » The monkey is the typical hyperactive person. He is reluctant to sit down, constantly moves his whole body, lets his eyes wander; he shows dynamism and, depending on the type of monkey and of course the situation, also often seems jittery » It is hard for monkeys to focus on one thing for a longer period of time » He changes his mind easily and often, and frequently changes his conversation partners as well. Monkeys can make trouble. His behaviour can be exhausting and even irritating to others. You should know that! »In the past, restless children were often named fidgeters. Without going further into medicine, it turns out that individuals of the monkey type often have features that are typical for ADHD. In particular, hyperactivity and attention deficit disorders as well as selective listening and strong physical activity are peculiarities typical for monkeys.« With his multitasking nature, orientation towards innovation, impatience and easy handling of electronic devices, monkeys particularly challenge colleagues and managers from other (older) generations. This behaviour is constantly increasing in modern digitized society. Not only adolescents are affected but also adults. Hyperactivity, restlessness, and a lack of concentration are not recent phenomena, but the tendency to perform several tasks simultaneously (multitasking) is noticeable. This might be due to the overuse of digital devices. Monkeys spend an above-average amount of time with these devices <?page no="58"?> Monkey 59 and become more dependent than other human types. This constant need to use several digital media devices or other objects at the same time, according to M. Spitzer, leads to concentration disorders. 12 Monkeys have a strong passion for electronic (digital) novelties and identify more with people conscious of the digital age (also at a later, more mature age). At work, the monkey stands out for his pronounced orientation towards innovation and his eagerness to experiment. Always up to date with smartphone applications Monkeys buy the latest apps and electronic games for their smartphones or other digital devices. With all these applications and countless digital choices, these types of people can no longer distinguish between important and unimportant, between urgent and nonurgent tasks. Everything must be processed or done immediately. These individuals are terrified of missing something. Hyperactive monkeys in particular are constantly looking at the screen of their computer or smartphone, most of the time with no particular reason. They do this out of habit and boredom. They live in what is known as constant digital stress. The excessive use of electronic devices and the constant acquisition of faster and more interesting programs favours the erratic thinking and behaviour of real monkeys. These digital devices provide a wealth of important information and useful hints. They quickly give you the answers to almost any question or problem. The user receives the desired information and solution for his/ her problem within seconds, without having to ask parents, friends, teachers, professors, colleagues, or supervisors. But if the monkey depends on the opinion of other people, he quickly becomes impatient and restless. He wants to get immediate answers, preferably without knowing the reasons or causes. Only quick results are acceptable. The contact person must react just as quickly as a computer. Rapidity and an endless amount of information facilitate horizontal research (quantity); this is usually at the expense of depth (quality). In particular, people with an affinity for multitasking favour information that is <?page no="59"?> 60 Type of person easily accessible. Profound and intensive research takes too long and is too stressful for them. Constant availability, the fear of missing something Monkeys can easily get distracted. Already an acoustic, mechanical, or visual signal of the smartphone acts as a distraction and usually leads to a loss of attention. The signal receiver is therefore constantly confronted with the dilemma to “answer or to ignore”. This phenomenon is not unusual in today’s digitized and networked society. However, especially for monkeys, this can lead to a permanent engagement with digital devices, as these types of people are often prone to this sort of behavior. The permanent jumping in their ways of thinking, the numerous conversations and the frequent interruptions by telephone calls, emails, WhatsApp, or several computers running in parallel do not seem to be a big behavioural disorder for the hyperactive monkey. Even during an intense conversation, the dynamic, agile, and erratic monkey usually looks up the appropriate answers and counter arguments with the help of his digital devices. If he has received the desired information, he is happy to initiate and lead the conversation. Despite his superficial knowledge, he can come across as a know-it-all , when the opportunity presents himself. There is also a saying, going by “the higher the monkey rises, the more it shows his bottom”. The behaviour of the monkey particularly emphasizes emotional preferences and behavioural, such as changes or innovations, uniqueness, and creativity. Weak emotional intelligence The leadership style and the weak emotional intelligence of a typical monkey are hardly mentioned in relevant literature. According to Goleman, emotional intelligence is one of the most important <?page no="60"?> Monkey 61 qualities of a leader. In that sense, the monkey does not seem to have classic leadership qualities. However, like other animal-human types discussed in this book, the monkey can compensate for this weakness by other features important to leadership. These include initiative, an orientation towards innovation, a positive handling of change management, openness, enthusiasm, and motivation. No easy negotiator During long and intensive negotiations , the monkey usually acts in a hyperactive and spontaneous fashion and does not give much thought to his actions. The focused elaboration of content and the prioritization of topics are often missing because of all kinds of new inputs, ideas and unstructured thoughts presented by the monkey. Therefore, even premature signs of fatigue of the negotiating partners cannot be excluded. The high frequency of constantly changing arguments and the considerable number of topics to be discussed are the most frequent causes of exhaustion and stress of the partners. You should know that! »The famous phrase of P. Watzlawick, “One cannot not communicate“, remains valid even for hyperactive monkeys. But the communication with this human type can be tiring. The fact that the sender (monkey) usually only focuses on his long, erratic monologues, the actual dialogue might be affected. This can be a challenge for the receiver! Whether monkeys are always described as difficult and tiring people (managers, employees, or customers), remains to be seen. This often depends on the point of view of the observer.« The presentation of the monkey in this book is, like the description of the other animal metaphors, deliberately bold. It must therefore be emphasized that not every hyperactive person automatically has a concentration disorder or shows erratic and superficial character traits. <?page no="61"?> 62 Type of person Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the monkey » Hyperactive » Restless, impatient » Erratic, easily distractible » Multitasker » Short concentration span » Selective listener » Horizontal (superficial) knowledge » Interrupts » Addicted to smartphones » Hardly distinguishes between important/ unimportant, urgent/ not urgent » No priorities » Always available, afraid to miss something » Curious, innovative » Loves to speak » Fast, hectic » Adaptable » Always up to date » Always at the center of attention, often a know-it-all » Poorly developed empathy » Almost no body language control Body language of the monkey The hyperactivity of the monkey is very obvious. His desk (often carrying a computer with multiple screens) is full of paper and devices of all kinds, not to mention the permanently switched on smartphones. What is particularly striking is his continuous search for an occupation. He types on the computer keyboard, leaves the TV <?page no="62"?> Monkey 63 on, listens to music, constantly touches his smartphone or looks at it, talks to colleagues and makes phone calls. His body is constantly moving, especially the arms and the head. He often moves his legs, looks at the people in the room and at the surrounding objects. His dynamic vitality is as abrupt and fast as his countless arguments. He acts as quickly as he gestures. You should know that! »Even more striking is the monkey’s behaviour in a group: Being the center of attention, the monkey always tries to attract the attention of others. To achieve this goal, he applies all sorts of means of communication: facial expressions, gestures, and voice. The behaviour of the monkey resembles a perpetuum mobile, which is directed at the contact person. Intensive eye contact completes the dynamic nonverbal communication of the monkey. The monkey supports his opinions and assertions by using expressive gestures and a strong voice. Depending on the situation, he also seeks physical contact. However, such tactile communication is not always perceived as comfortable and friendly. When ‘purebred’ monkeys meet, it can get exciting.« Masculine vs. feminine behaviour The differences between female and male monkey types are not evident. The gestures of female monkeys are more subtle, their posture less conspicuous and their voices quieter. The speech speed is the same with female and male monkeys. The facial expressions are almost identical, even if the eye contact of women seems more pleasant. Their strive to always be the center of <?page no="63"?> 64 Type of person attention seems more subtle. The other features of typical monkeys do not show relevant gender-specific differences. Overview ∣ Male and female monkeys Male Female High speech speed Impatient, restless Hates routine, creative, oriented towards innovation Loves changes pronounced affinity for digital devices Well connected and up to date, always available Always the centre of attention Orientation towards ADHD noticeable Gestures and eye contact evident Gestures and eye contact subtle Obvious use of multiple digital devices Subtle use of multiple digital devises Dealing with monkeys Monkey-like people can best develop their abilities in creative areas and functions. On the other hand, if they are constantly confronted with linear, logical, systematic, and well-structured processes as well as friends and coworkers with a clear, rigid and comprehensible way of thinking, tensions may arise. For these types of coworkers, usually people with an obvious predisposition for monotasking, e.g. scientists, engineers, technicians, controllers, or administrative professionals, typical monkeys are no easy partners. Moreover, they can be extremely stressful and exhausting. While these people love goaloriented, time-oriented, process-oriented and rigid approaches, monkeys favour flexible work processes. They can contribute new ideas and suggestions on an ad hoc basis. <?page no="64"?> Monkey 65 Complementary activities offer the greatest opportunities for a fruitful cooperation. Such a cooperation only works if the actors involved recognise the personality of the other party as a complementary element, respect each other and establish a stable relationship of trust. If this does not happen, the long-desired fruitful cooperation is in danger. Tensions with engineers, technicians In general, differences can arise at work due to very different reasons. A typical reason for some divergences are different or contrary character traits. If the manager is a typical engineer and the employee a typical monkey, incompatibilities are inevitable. The term engineer is used because the author has many years of experience especially with mechanical engineers. Thus, it is not about the academic title, but rather about people who love and successfully apply well-structured and clearly formulated goals, work processes and concrete specifications and guidelines. Because the monkey does not necessarily have the assertiveness of a dog, he often subordinates himself. Despite his great adaptability, it is extremely difficult for the monkey to accept prescribed, rigid work processes because they do not correspond to his personal attitude. Executives can best motivate the monkey with a clear formulation of goals and a flexible approach. It is important to promote his talent for innovation, instead of slowing it down. An organization can benefit from the dynamics of an educated monkey and his interest in new things. Executives have to let monkeys experiment and work. They need to be constantly busy and challenged: two qualities that are very important for an organization. Brainstorming is an additional motivational impulse for monkeys. Thanks to their affinity to multitasking, they act as good and active innovation suppliers . However, the selection of the ideas they <?page no="65"?> 66 Type of person propose should not be left to the monkeys because they always consider their suggestions as good and practicable. You should know that! »In a company, there are different functions and activities that require different ways of working. Effectiveness and creativity should not be seen as opposites, but as a suitable complement. Managers should give real monkeys the opportunity to develop their creative talents. This can be done in a multitasking mode. Other tasks and work processes, on the other hand, require clear, strict structures and manageable procedures without constant distractions and interruptions. This can be better achieved in a monotasking mode. In this case even the hyperactive and easily distractible monkeys must pull themselves together and concentrate on just one or at least fewer tasks. Therefore, for a limited period of time, it is recommended to prohibit the use of all digital devices - especially the use of smartphones - if the activity is not work-related. It is the primary task of a manager to make use of the different qualities of his employees, in this case efficiency and creativity, in order to achieve maximum success.« When and how do monkeys, horses and complementary animal types work well together? If the boss himself is a typical monkey and his employees are engineers or technicians, they must be prepared for his hyperactive and erratic work style, always coming up with new ideas and goals. Communication and cooperation can be optimised by the above described additions. In negotiations, his impatience, selective listening, and the tendency to deal with many or too many topics at the same time can literally overwhelm a negotiating partner. Moreover, his poorly developed ability to set priorities in his argumentation - important vs. unimportant; urgent vs. not urgent - can confuse a listener with an affinity towards structure. Because empathy is not necessarily one of the <?page no="66"?> Monkey 67 monkey’s strengths, misunderstandings and misinterpretations can easily occur. The rapid spread of electronic communication devices has partially replaced the classic face-to-face business meeting. For certain standard products or services with a moderate need for consultation, the physical encounters between supplier and buyer become less frequent or even superfluous. They are being replaced by computers. The technologyand innovation-oriented monkey could make a good contribution to certain business dealings here. Although this trend is not necessarily monkeyspecific, these types of people seem to be predestined for such activities. This is a crucial motivational factor for them. Even if the monkey has a clear structure/ approach with precise priorities, he spontaneously tends to ignore it or, at best, only follow it in part. Because of his flexibility, he can certainly add new bullet points and eliminate existing ones. However, this does not necessarily have to be a negative feature, as it can also be helpful or even necessary in certain situations. In such situations, the monkey needs the support of a complementary human type. Goal-orientation, flexibility and creativity can all be used by horses and monkeys. Every negotiator feels comfortable in this way, acts authentically and acts as an integrative force for his partner. This only works with mutual trust. The prerequisite is the respect and acknowledgment of the different personalities as well as the understanding of their integrating function. Both monkey and horse should therefore be convinced of the need for a complementary tandem member. <?page no="67"?> 68 Type of person You should pay attention to monkeys! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with monkeys » The introduction and application of time management » Clearly structured meetings and workflows » Set clear, unambiguous goals » Keep excesses to a limit » Try to keep the initiative while leading meetings » Do not let the monkey act too freely » Summarize agreements in writing (minute, protocol) » Prioritize tasks » Try to create a balance between content and relationships » Use the monkey’s curiosity, creativity, flexibility, and high affinity towards innovation » Introduce modes of monotasking and multitasking » Employ monkeys for brainstorming tasks » Integrate monkeys into work processes right away » Try to talk about progress and good results from time to time » Coach or mentor with complementary skills (the horse) » Motivate the monkey by giving them creative, innovative, technologyand multitasking-related tasks and networking activities. Give the monkey spontaneous feedback and explain the sense and purpose of the tasks. Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with monkeys » Judging his affinity towards multitasking » No clear and consistent leadership » Not taking the monkey seriously » Categorically reject his numerous ideas and suggestions » Ignoring or inadequately using his strengths » Meaning and purpose of activities unclear or not defined <?page no="68"?> Monkey 69 » No or little room for development » No clear feedback » Not showing appreciation or praise » No support through mentoring and coaching » Giving the monkey primarily routine jobs » No sympathy for experiments and frequent changes » Working only in monotasking mode » No coach or mentor <?page no="70"?> Type of person »bigmouth frog« - the talkative buddy type predominant characteristics: talkative, curious, selective listener, sociable What you should know about frogs! We know the botanical name of the sea frog (rana ridibunda), also known as the ‘laughing frog’, mainly from funny ‘frog concerts’ as these little amphibians tend to communicate very loudly, especially during mating season. If all frog species were to communicate using the same sounds, there would be chaos. Every species has developed a special call, therefore making different sounds. The croaking also serves to defend one’s territory from rivals. The frog type likes to be the centre of attention. He is cocky, and usually wants to stand out. Finally, he often shows off to impress the opponent. Sometimes he can literally “burst”. <?page no="71"?> 72 Type of person » The frog - also called “wide mouth frog” or “big mouth frog” has, as the word implies, a disproportionate mouth size . This circumstance enables him to croak persistently. » In certain seasons frogs croak almost continuously. Their croaking can be perceived as pleasant and beautiful. » This croaking can sound more like whining with people leaning towards the frog type, which can really annoy listeners. » Frogs reflect on their language skills and try to get the recognition of friends and colleagues. » Their favourite activity is primarily talking and telling stories. His oversized mouth underlines his urge to talk These types of people love to palaver - actually completely independent of their level of knowledge and the context of the conversation. They constantly get involved in discussions and disputes, even if they are unfamiliar with the content. The main thing for them is to participate in the conversation. When frogs approach someone, they often start with standard phrases. These standard sets vary according to culture: » German expression for frogs: “Warten Sie schnell” (“Wait fast! ” How can somebody wait fast? ) » “Wait a minute ...or even stronger: wait a second …! ” » Italian expression for frogs: “Attenda un minutino! ” (Wait a short minute. A short minute does not exist.) The intention of a frog is not to frighten the contact person, but to win him or her over for an allegedly short conversation, which then leads to a lengthy monologue. White-mouthed frogs have a peculiar subjective time management. As soon as they feel that the listener loses interest in the conversation and tries to escape, frogs increase their speed of speech, establish intensive eye contact, and reduce their frequency and length of breathing to a minimum. Thus, it is hard for listeners to interrupt <?page no="72"?> Bigmouth frog 73 them. Their flow of speech (mostly monologue) is thereby saved, and the listener ‘trapped’ in the conversation. Frogs love monologues These talkative people come to the point only by using numerous and incoherent detours. They prefer to decorate their long stories with unimportant and inappropriate subordinate clauses and anecdotes. The listener finds it difficult to distinguish the important from the unimportant. Following these persistent and intense monologues can be exhausting, sometimes even extremely stressful. Because of their remarkable ability to conduct intense and long monologues, they are usually too occupied with their own narratives and therefore only listen extremely selectively to others. However, they have the talent to construct long conversations from sporadically perceived information. How effectively do frogs communicate and cooperate? Entertaining conversations between two talkative work colleagues are usually amusing, banal and superficial. The long discussions are time-consuming because they take place at the expense of work. An intensive exchange of information often reduces efficiency at work. In addition, it increases tensions with other colleagues, who are often forced to do some of the frogs’ tasks themselves. Communication and cooperation between frogs and other animal types poses another problem. Because frog conversations are usually too long, too poor in content, superficial and not conducive, they are perceived by the other animals, like horses, lambs and hedgehogs, as annoying and exhausting. Often, they avoid the wide-mouthed frogs, who then feel isolated and rejected. <?page no="73"?> 74 Type of person Their desire for verbal contact is enormous. The depth of the subject, however, is secondary. Once the conversation has been established, the wide-mouthed frogs quickly take over. Whether the interlocutor is interested or not hardly plays a role. Empathy is certainly not a frog’s strong suit. Particularly elderly people of this type have a certain repertoire of irrelevant and lengthy stories, which they tend to repeatedly retell, over and over again. Conversation structure and time management are not their strong point When a frog gives a speech , the listener is usually confused by his way of speaking. His ability to manage time is also only rudimentarily developed. Even experienced listeners find it difficult to follow. The frog literally mixes the classical structure of a speech - introduction, narrative, argumentation, and finale. It is irrelevant whether he speaks freely, follows his manuscript, or gives a power-point presentation. He even manages to fill accurately prepared written presentations with additional comments, anecdotes, or simple excesses. In doing so, he regularly overruns the prescribed speaking time. It rarely happens that a wide mouth frog gives his presentation in full, according to his original schedule - he usually needs strict time constraints, e.g. like at a UN General Assembly. Frogs associate the length of a speech with its substantial quality: the more you talk, the more content you get to convey. Or: the longer the speech, the more convincing the effect. Here lies the fundamental misjudgement of the talkative frog. When two frogs meet, the discussion becomes exciting and can, above all, easily escalate. During their lengthy and intensive conversations - usually monologues - they often look for a place to stop, a hold to lean on, for example, a column, a wall, a table or a chair. Once they get going, they can even talk simultaneously about very different things. Meanwhile, they only record what their partner has said in fragments. This pseudo-dialogue is usually based on thin knowledge and irrelevant comments. <?page no="74"?> Bigmouth frog 75 Wide-mouthed frogs devote their attention exclusively to talking, whereas their physical motor skills are not overly used. In contrast to monkeys, they are not considered as hyperactive. You should know that! »The need for communication is more important than empathy: if you have a real wide-mouthed frog in your team, he will certainly provide lasting entertainment! This talkative person rarely shows consideration for the audience, colleagues, bosses, or customers. He or she likes to talk, long and almost uninterruptedly. The few short breaks primarily serve for oxygen supply for the lungs! Thus, they only fulfill a respiratory function. Their need for communication is far more pronounced than empathy. Their main concern is to find someone to listen to their long monologues and, if possible, trap them! « Real frogs are rarely leaders . The exercise of such a function leaves little room for chatting. Frogs are more numerously represented in the lower hierarchical levels . If a frog has to consult an impatient, impulsive and arrogant boss (dog or giraffe) because of what he sees as an urgent matter, he has two choices: Either he gets to the point immediately and tries to keep it short, or he speaks a lot without getting straight to the point. In the second case, the supervisor will quickly lose patience. A resolute, hard, and harsh reaction of the boss can then be expected. The frog will certainly leave his supervisor’s office as a disillusioned loser. Patience is appropriate in negotiations Frogs are usually long-winded, unspecific, and not goal-oriented negotiating partners. Their preparation for negotiations is usually too imprecise. The content contains too many insignificant details. Nevertheless, they rarely seem as annoying as a thoroughbred monkey. <?page no="75"?> 76 Type of person If they talk too much and in an unstructured manner, they are often called ‘chatterers’ by the listeners. With this attribution they often lose their credibility. For these reasons, some wide-mouthed frogs are not perceived and accepted as equal negotiating partners. You should know that! »Frogs can be pleasant and interesting to a certain extent. They possess the ability to lead long-winded and unstructured conversations with little superficial information and knowledge. Through their reckless manner of articulation, they quickly establish contacts, even to more reserved and shy individuals. Unless they talk too much about sport events, illnesses and terrible symptoms, their contributions are exciting and amusing.« Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the frog » talkative, palaver more important than content » knows no limits » sociable, can connect instantly » barely listening, easy to distract » fragmentary understanding » wants to be heard » often interrupts, speaks at the same time » curious, knows things very superficially » bad time management » not very empathetic » tries to be the centre of attention » can be pleasant <?page no="76"?> Bigmouth frog 77 Body language of the frog The frog turns his head like a radar to receive as much information and impressions as possible from his surroundings. When he wants to give his partner important information, he looks at him or her to emphasize the relevance of his assertion. You should know that! »The behaviour of older frogs, which can often be observed in pedestrian areas, on the beach or on promenades, is most intriguing. Usually, they slowly walk back and forth in pairs and talk comfortably about anything in the world, without looking directly at each other. If one of them wants to deliver an important message, they stop abruptly, turn around to the other one and look at them intensely. As a rule, the other frog instinctively goes along with it. He stops, returns the eye contact. At the same time, he gives the impression of listening, automatically establishing a symmetrical relationship. In this communication exchange, the listener can also physically be held tightly by the frog.« The eye contact becomes more intense and longer. The contact person reflects the gestures. As soon as the frog takes over the conversation, the situation changes, and everything starts from the beginning. Such relaxed conversations can take hours. Masculine vs. feminine behaviour Between wide-mouthed frogs there is a harmonious relationship, also between the sexes. Because the focus is primarily on talking, the means of communication are very homogeneous. There are hardly any significant differences between men and women. <?page no="77"?> 78 Type of person Overview ∣ Male and female frogs Male Female Leans against objects (chairs, walls, columns, etc.) Leans less against objects (chairs, walls, columns, etc.) Lively facial expressions and gestures At high points of the conversation very intense eye contact At high points of the conversation intense eye contact Seek and find symmetrical posture Intensive tactile communication (culturally different) Little less intensive tactile communication (culturally different) Active body movement (walking, standing) Is constantly searching for physical centre Search for physical centre less pronounced Turns the neck like a radar Looks at the surrounding objects to seek new conversation Dealing with frogs Due to some behavioural affinity with monkeys, it is also advisable to limit the duration of the presentation of a frog. He should not have too many opportunities to digress from the main topic. Tactical interruptions are appropriate to reduce the duration of the monologue and restore the logical, linear flow of speech. This is usually more effective than a harsh and rigorous attitude that should only be applied as an ultima ratio. One must not embarrass this sensitive and nice type of person in front of employees or supervisors. <?page no="78"?> Bigmouth frog 79 You should know that! »Two wide-mouthed frogs in the same office don’t work well together. It should be avoided to place two or more frogs in the same room. This would be entertaining for the frogs but harmful for work. It is recommended to form a heterogeneous working team. If there is only one wide-mouthed frog in the group, he will not find the desired willingness to communicate on the part of the other persons in the team. A single specimen provides a pleasant or entertaining working atmosphere that benefits all team members.« If, on the other hand, a manager or an entrepreneur is a real frog, there could be tension during the numerous and - in the view of the employees - long discussions and unproductive meetings. The frog boss loves a high frequency of different staff meetings. He will most likely run the sessions with lengthy and unstructured monologues. Because of his poorly developed empathy, the boss will not adequately engage the participants in the topic. They are only involved in later, again long and time-consuming, discussions. If difficult topics are on the agenda, where the active participation of the employees is necessary, the boss might lead the discussion in the usual frog manner. In these meetings, most participants will primarily be physically present, but mentally absent. They are occupied with other things, listen selectively, and follow the frog boss superficially. That will not bother him much, because he simply does not notice it. The work performance often suffers from such ineffective leadership. (Work performance is determined by how quickly a job can be done. It is therefore a time-dependent variable.) The performance pressure usually decreases noticeably in these cases. In state-managed enterprises, such work methods are not uncommon. <?page no="79"?> 80 Type of person Pleasant working atmosphere With a strong relationship-oriented management style, the creation of a pleasant working atmosphere is sometimes even more important than the achievement of precisely defined goals. It is well known that the frog above all strives to create a comfortable interpersonal relationship and a pleasant working environment. This communicative approach is a good prerequisite for the typical leadership style of the frog. However, it often happens that frog leaders neglect the achievement of their goals because of their need for harmony and a relaxed atmosphere. Many frog leaders or company owners find it difficult to show a strong and resolute hand, especially in times of crisis. This is due both to their pronounced social orientation and to their difficulties in showing a clear and comprehensible line of leadership. In these cases, they are dependent on the cooperation of loyal, decisive employees with complementary qualities. Both, however, should appear without contradiction as a harmonious tandem with different functions. Wide-mouthed frogs provide nice entertainment during negotiations Negotiations between these types of people may seem long and unproductive, but they are by no means boring. Wide-mouthed frogs provide the necessary entertainment. It becomes more difficult if you have to follow strictly defined guidelines. For frogs, there is no clear distinction between content-related arguments and personal sensitivities business and personal life merge and form a unity. Both are talked about more or less promptly. How and when these talkative negotiators achieve their specific goals is difficult to estimate. Thanks to a good negotiating climate, a strong social orientation and above all mutual trust, the opponents can quickly and spontaneously reach a mutually beneficial conclusion. <?page no="80"?> Bigmouth frog 81 You have to listen to a customer with frog qualities Business talks or negotiations with customers with a pronounced frog-orientation can seem quite stretched. It is not uncommon for customers of this type to talk about themselves and their merits. If the entrepreneur himself is a proud wide-mouthed frog, he will probably tell a long and detailed story about his company. The business partner must neither interrupt the relationship-oriented frog nor show him his impatience. Listening and showing interest in the stories about the company’s history and successes are the order of the day. These monologues, which are too long and unproductive from the business partner’s point of view, are, on the other hand, ideal means of establishing or strengthening the business relationship. Communication problems during negotiations: Structured vs. unsystematic communication However, if the behaviour of the negotiating partners present is completely opposite, the discussion becomes difficult. Some people prefer well-structured, direct, and explicit approaches with clearly formulated contents and goals. Others favour a loose, indirect, implicit, and personal approach full of paraphrases, anecdotes and unclear objectives. If this conflicting communication and approach escalates, the continuation of a constructive negotiation is endangered. A collision between the opponents can be the logical consequence. In order to continue the negotiation, the involved frog boss is dependent on the support of colleagues with asymmetrical personalities. However, these colleagues need a clear mandate and a great deal of room for negotiation. The frog leader must stay out of the critical negotiation phases. It remains to be seen whether the frog is prepared to cede parts of his negotiating competencies to his subordinates and to hold back verbally. In order not to harm the negotiation process, he is forced to give up some decision-making authority. This is even more important if the talks require a clear approach and quick decisions. His employees assume the function of the experts. The active presence of <?page no="81"?> 82 Type of person the boss for the final decision is only necessary when the desired results have been achieved. Generally speaking, these talkative and sociable types of people can make good use of their well-developed social traits by establishing personal relationships at business trips and social events, at fairs and other social activities. Excursus 1 | Dealing with the combination frog-monkey If a chatty and quacking person is hyperactive, impertinent, and erratic at the same time, then you will certainly have a problem with the duration and structure of the conversation. The conversations usually drag on and end in long, unsystematic, and incoherent narratives that are hardly captivating and also difficult to understand. The number of topics and the search for information and answers on the smartphone are even more pronounced in this combined animal type. In addition to the linguistic intensification, an increased body vitality can be observed in the frog-monkey type, which causes even more confusion in their communication. Hyperactivity, impatience, and the urge to be the centre of attention lead to a further decrease of the already weakly developed ability of listening. If these people give a free speech, listeners can hardly recognize their true intentions and goals. Without strict instructions from the outside, it would be almost impossible to stick to the speaking time. A thoroughly structured discussion is only possible with the active participation of a presenter. For a talkative and hyperactive person, there is only one motto: “For the trees you can no longer see the forest. And what is more, the trees are indistinguishable from the other plants”. These people usually conflict with Watzlawick’s dictum “One cannot not communicate”, because they keep sending verbal, paraverbal and nonverbal <?page no="82"?> Bigmouth frog 83 signals, neglecting the relationship to the contact persons and the context. In his presentations, the frog-monkey only focuses on his great need for communication, not showing any empathy to his listeners. Despite their lack of depth and their superficially acquired knowledge, these people possess communicative skills that they should make use of. However, they are quite convinced of their multifaceted way of communication (multitasking) and find it difficult to adapt their behaviour. This is probably the main problem of this type of person. In order not to reject and thereby discourage these ambitious and extremely hyperactive employees, they should be given the opportunity to use their creativity, innovativeness, and social orientation actively and in line with their goals in important work processes. For the sake of the company, they should be given this opportunity, because these active and capable individuals are usually willing to work hard and assume responsibility. Too many tasks are better than too few. The inputs, however, should be selected and prioritized. Because they need feedback from their coaches, mentors or superiors, the introduction of a feedback culture is necessary. This enables all participants to monitor the current state of the individual employee as well as the performance achieved and - if necessary - to adjust their working methods. With older people of this type, the task is more difficult to solve. They are less flexible and often quite convinced of themselves. Thanks to their easy and always available access to information, they appear confident and proud. They feel competent and capable enough to acquire the necessary knowledge in the shortest possible time, and they are also able to present their knowledge with their talkativeness and social inclination. Thus, they fulfill two important conditions. They should not be deprived of these two strengths; they should only be used in a targeted and rational manner. This increases the effectiveness and expressiveness of the message sent, minimizes unnecessary contributions, unnecessary comments, repetitions and long, stressful monologues for the listeners. <?page no="83"?> 84 Type of person Excursus 2 | The talkative monkey-frog at a doctor’s visit A few years ago, when a physician was asked who he considered to be the most difficult patient, his answer was: “Clearly the doctor”. This has changed due to digital media and easier access to specialist information. The well-informed, active, and eloquent person that in fact has no medical knowledge whatsoever has pushed the actual physician from the top of the scale of difficult patients. If one believes the physicians, teachers in particular seem to assume this role most frequently. The case described below confirms this statement. A 55-year-old English teacher has been suffering from 'brutal' headaches for several days and decides to go to her family doctor. She wants to know where this migraine, which she herself diagnosed as 'unusual', came from. Of course, she informed herself meticulously about this disease before visiting the doctor. When this eloquent private patient - the emphasis being on private - went to her family doctor, she immediately took the initiative, as expected, and explained the cause of this 'persistent' and 'strange' migraine to the doctor step by step. She even suggested the most 'effective' and 'appropriate' treatment for these symptoms. She cited numerous 'scientifically' based publications found on the internet. The impatient private patient went out of her way - in the typical know-it-all monkey-frog manner - to demonstrate her well-founded medical 'knowledge' to the doctor. In this monologue, the physician hardly had a real chance to make an anamnesis without being constantly interrupted by the talkative private patient. She was so convinced of her own diagnosis that she stubbornly rejected any dissenting opinion of the physician. The family doctor’s arguments were relevant if they did not contradict her claims. The doctor was quite dismayed and very annoyed. For his own peace, he gave her the medication she wanted, without any comments or recommendations. The private patient happily and proudly left the practice and went to the pharmacy with the prescription. <?page no="84"?> Bigmouth frog 85 Conclusion When it comes to one’s own health, one can already inquire about the first symptoms of illness on the internet. This is not only legitimate but recommended. Even superficial knowledge helps the patient to better understand the physician and to have a more detailed conversation. Many physicians like to talk to interested and professionally experienced patients. This concerns both the medical terminology and the content of the conversation. They recommend that patients inform themselves thoroughly on the internet, especially after the visit. This is more effective from a medical point of view and reduces possible diagnostic conflicts between doctor and patient. The patient presented above wanted to demonstrate her medical pseudo-knowledge as acquired expertise to the doctor. This occurs quite frequently, especially in people with a certain ability to speak and a pronounced tendency to know better. Generally speaking, the expert (doctor) will be confronted with such or similar patients to a greater extent in the future. Even if the described case represents an extreme situation, the tendency is rising. How the doctor should react in such cases depends on the specific situation. An empathetic approach with increasingly well-informed patients can certainly be a great help for the physician. The physician should take more time, also for - from the physician’s point of view - difficult patients. This in turn creates other management problems that are not addressed here. However, the communicative approach should concentrate more on attentive listening and visual communication. Only then, when he already has numerous inputs from the patient, can the doctor finally apply appropriate persuasive communication. <?page no="85"?> 86 Type of person You should pay attention to frogs! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with frogs » Only ask closed questions » Try to maintain control over the conversation » Stick to the main theme, don’t bring up anecdotes or side examples » Wait until the frog “breathes” and then interrupt him with humor (tactfully) » If the frog is a customer, listen to him, show interest, establish visual contact, develop and expand personal relationships » Use the frog’s strong relationship orientation to reach a good outcome of your negotiations » Mind a clear structure and instructions for presentations » Fix the frog’s speaking time » Schedule flexible time management for negotiations » Take your time, show patience » Do not force decisions » Proceed empathetically » Use the frog’s adaptability » Motivate the frog by appreciation and praise, social tasks, brainstorming, activities with social components, integration, support Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with frogs » Harsh behaviour » Insensitivity » Embarrassing them in front of colleagues » Completely ignoring and excluding them in a group » Extreme factual orientation <?page no="86"?> Bigmouth frog 87 » No relationship orientation » Interrupting their calls abruptly » Not showing any interest whatsoever in their concerns » Ignoring their abilities altogether » Calling them a chatterbox » Making fun of them » One-sided harsh criticism » Showing impatience » No empathy <?page no="88"?> Type of Person »lamb« - shy teamplayer predominant characteristics: shy, inconspicuous, hardly talks, listens attentively What you should know about lambs! The domestic sheep (ovis gemelini gries) is the domesticated form of the mouflon. It plays an important role in the history of mankind as a supplier of milk, meat, wool, and sheepskin. Sheep and lambs are cute and distinct herd animals, which naturally prefer to live in groups. They are described in mythology as a symbol of innocence. This is probably due to their basic trust in others. The lamb also appears in the Bible. For example: in the expression “Lamb of God” or in the parable of the lost sheep. One also speaks of the “black sheep” when a person’s behaviour stands out from the ideas of the group, e.g. the family. Despite the widespread opinion that sheep are stupid, according to Wikipedia they are intelligent animals that, for exam- <?page no="89"?> 90 Type of person ple, can remember more than 50 faces of their conspecifics over a period of two years. There are several other characteristics of the lamb: » The lamb is the prototype of a shy, reserved, quiet and reticent person who hardly dares to look the other person directly in the eye. » Because of his inconspicuousness, insecurity, and anxiety, she is hardly noticed. » Little lambs feel uncomfortable in a strange environment. They sit there as quietly and silently as possible, so that they are hardly noticed or not noticed at all. » Their verbal contribution is limited to the bare essentials. They never make the first step and happily leave that to the contact person. In this way, they are able to receive important information, facts and figures. » They also get to know the product and the service in detail. They only sporadically reveal information to their counterparts. For the salesperson, lambs are by no means easy customers. On the contrary! » Silent or taciturn people can be a mystery to business partners, colleagues, and executives. » In general, one can claim that silent customers (lambs) often have an information advantage. They listen attentively to the arguments of the opposite side. Lambs are ignored Because lambs are never at the centre of everyone’s attention in school, at work and in society in general, there is a real risk for them of being neglected. Especially in the presence of active humans - dogs, monkeys and bigmouth frogs types - they are even less noticed optically and acoustically. They do not express themselves and simply withdraw themselves. Teachers, colleagues, friends, and superiors prefer the - from their point of view - easier contact with people <?page no="90"?> Lamb 91 that are verbally more active. The human need for social awareness is rarely fulfilled in conversations with lambs. Making emotional and improvised speeches is not the lamb’s strongest suit. They get security when they are well prepared. If they do not have the necessary facts and figures, they will hardly dare to open their mouths. Lambs are the antipodes to dogs, monkeys and above all foxes that love taking risks and usually have a natural talent for improvisation. They compensate their shyness with perfectionism . Details, demanding, and precise statements are indispensable elements for lambs. Except for their shyness and reserve, there are many parallels to the horse. They don’t like harsh disputes Lambs only take part passively in controversial or delicate conversations. Thus, the whole discussion is focused on the loud, assertive, and impulsive participants. The law of survival of the fittest prevails at the expense of the quiet and reserved. Even if lambs have specific and valid arguments, they remain cautious. If a little lamb does not find an empathic colleague, team leader or superior, who gives the floor to her and integrates her into the discussion, she hardly expresses herself or makes no contribution at all. Little lambs keep silent, listen attentively, get a lot of information Lambs are not only attentive listeners but also good observers . In this way, they receive a great deal of information, which they select and prioritize step by step. Quality is more important to them than quantity. They prefer the monotasking mode and find it difficult to work in a typical multitasking environment. In presentations, they can rarely convey their profound knowledge in a rhetorically brilliant manner. This is due to their personality, which acts like a handbrake for lambs. They have the content (hard skills) but are often unable to use the necessary rhetorical means (soft skills). In a nutshell, lambs sell below their real value and this is their problem. <?page no="91"?> 92 Type of person Although lambkins are shy and reserved, they are also reliable and technically good employees and experts who take their profession seriously. Because of their fear of failure and of making mistakes they prefer to stay quiet and behave apathetically. Lambs have a pronounced risk aversion . This is also reflected in their language and terminology. They choose their words carefully. They hardly ever use the imperative form. Reflection and caution are always present. Spontaneous and quick decisions without a procontra analysis do not fit the stereotype of the lamb. They prefer passive behaviour overactive behaviour. As reliable team players, they like to act in the background Lambs are very cooperative and love teamwork without showing off. In team sports they are often satisfied with the role of the reliable player who serves the team. In politics they act as important information providers for resolute and offensive politicians. There they usually act in the background. Politicians need such employees because they usually do not compete with their ambitions and political careers. As a leader in an organization, the lamb chooses a democratic leadership style , seeking harmony and avoiding hard, loud, and confrontational arguments with colleagues. Because of their lack of assertiveness, they can have problems especially with dogs, even if they are hierarchically subordinated to them. Some dogs use their fighting attitude even against a lamb superior purposefully, because they secretly feel stronger than their reserved executives. Depending on the context and stress situation, an unexpected and uncontrolled overreaction of the lamb in a leadership position cannot be ruled out. Technology is very helpful for reserved and shy people. Thanks to the spread of electronic devices, traditional face-to-face communication has changed. It is no longer necessary to meet in person to <?page no="92"?> Lamb 93 communicate with each other. Short messages, pictures, and all kinds of other information can be exchanged via smartphone. No direct confrontation thanks to electronic devices Especially unpleasant or even embarrassing messages are easier to convey via text message, email, or WhatsApp. Writing them is easier than facing a confrontation. Especially lambs who avoid harsh arguments prefer to send a written, dry, and impersonal message. With the modern means of information, the communication difficulties of shy people have been resolved. But there are also lambs in management positions or company owners. They have expertise, but they often lack assertiveness , especially in conflict situations. Lambs find it very difficult to deal confidently with dominant and quarrelsome subordinates. If the employee is a snappy and career-oriented dog, the lamb will suffer and avoid open confrontation. The hierarchically subordinated dog often tries to steal her position. In this scenario, paradoxically, the stronger character is in the weaker position and the weaker character in the stronger hierarchical position. Conflict is unavoidable in such a constellation of forces. There is usually only one solution: Either the dog or the lamb-like boss leaves. Some leaders have made careers thanks to their high professionalism and profound knowledge. But if the leader does not possess the necessary leadership qualities, which are more important in his function than professional competence, he or she probably has the wrong job. If the little lamb takes on a management position in her department, she rarely behaves like a true leader with decision-making authority. She rather acts like a good-natured colleague. Especially in tricky situations with more dominant colleagues, she is not in a good position. To keep the peace, she avoids conflict. In this situation, the lamb often even takes over the work of the supposedly stronger employee. Conclusion: The boss (lamb) is overworked, the employee (dog) is resting. <?page no="93"?> 94 Type of person As negotiators, lambs are pleasant partners You should know that! »They are reliable, punctual, listen carefully and are well prepared. If the negotiating environment is pleasant and relaxed, lambs gradually open up and intervene ad hoc despite their notoriously defensive stance. Their active contribution therefore depends first and foremost on the atmosphere, the difficulty of the content, but especially on the attitude of the negotiating partner. If the negotiation is pleasantly calm, objective and also relationshiporiented, the lamb proves to be a good and predictable negotiating partner. The lamb’s great self-control usually leads to an implosion without emotional excitement. If she does not get the necessary support of a stronger and more secure colleague, she often gives up.« Only the essential is discussed. In personal conversations, active listening is more important than verbal initiative. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the lamb » Shy, reserved » Inconspicuous, ignored » Confidence little developed » Constantly underestimated » Speaks little, soft voice » Listens carefully » Little eye contact » Not at the centre of attention » Team player, no diva » Reliable, predictable » Decides carefully, needs time » No assertiveness » Avoids confrontation » Empathetic <?page no="94"?> Lamb 95 » Monotasker » Thinker » Self-control » Loyal, cooperative Body language of the lamb The little lamb stands out with her inconspicuousness, which is the most important characteristic of this gentle animal type. The lamb shows her reserve and insecurity with her whole body. You should know that! »Her pace is careful, her steps are rather small and quiet. Head and eyes are mostly directed towards the ground, as if she wanted to communicate with her surroundings: “Don’t speak to me”. The knocking of the door is so quiet that it is hardly audible. When entering a room, this type of person is more than prudent. When sitting, her legs are tightly pressed together. The body thus takes up little space. The hands are often hidden between or even under the legs. Gestures and facial expressions are moderate. Her quiet language and modesty are typical characteristics of this shy animal type. If the opposite side shows his sharp teeth, the lamb becomes insecure and appears disoriented. Her face turns red and her quiet, insecure voice reveals her discomfort.« Masculine vs. feminine behaviour Although the most important characteristics of these unobtrusive and shy people are the same in women and men, gender differences <?page no="95"?> 96 Type of person can still be observed and are especially more evident in young women than in older women. Female lambs tend to emphasize some body movements more strongly than their male counterparts. Little eye contact, a quiet voice, limited body space, greater body distance and pulling down her sleeves to hide her hands complete the stereotypical lamb image. Overview ∣ Male and female lambs Male Female Insecure posture Insecure posture emphasized Cautious appearance Cautious appearance even more pronounced Little eye contact No eye contact Requires less space Requires even less space Hands partially hidden Hands almost completely hidden, especially young women Almost never use the index finger Never use the index finger Unobtrusive Very unobtrusive Quiet, insecure pace, quiet footsteps Quiet, silent footsteps even more pronounced Soft handshake Very soft handshake Sits in the back row Quiet door knocking Door knocking barely audible Avoids confrontation Rejects confrontation Rarely shows teeth Almost never shows teeth Embarrassment due to smiles Embarrassment due to frequent smiles Nonverbal signals easy to decode Nonverbal signals somewhat harder to decode <?page no="96"?> Lamb 97 Dealing with lambs In meetings with colleagues and superiors, the little lamb prefers to remain silent. She only talks when it is absolutely necessary. The little lamb listens attentively, registers the messages conveyed and arranges them systematically in her head. She is an excellent minutetaker because of her good sense of comprehension and clear structure. As a minute-taker, she is also responsible for the written and verbal summary of the essential points. In this important task, the lamb feels acknowledged, accepted and ultimately well integrated. She also has a significant comparative advantage over the other participants in the meeting: She is the only participant to actually have the minutes, i.e. the most important source of information. During the presentation of the results of the discussion, the lamb is therefore more confident and becomes the focus of the group for a little while. If there is a need for discussion, she briefly takes over. The other participants in the meeting must follow her lead - and not the other way around. This gives the lamb more security. If colleagues and superiors ask her to perform these or similar tasks, which are low-risk for the lamb, she will gradually become more confident and courageous. Such tasks are an effective and recommendable motivational incentive for the lamb. With empathy, patience and time, shy and reserved employees (lambs) can even be transformed into horses. Lambs generally need a pleasant atmosphere and above all trust on the part of their superiors and peers. Frequent feedback and honest appreciations are suitable means to strengthen the lamb’s confidence. With their knowledge and skills, lambs can complement extroverted and rhetorically experienced colleagues and superiors. They often act as excellent ghost-writers for well-known representatives in business and politics. A small lamb can still successfully manage a department or a company. However, this requires loyalty and respect on the part of the <?page no="97"?> 98 Type of person employees. In politics, but also in business, managers with lamb personalities usually hire trustworthy and assertive employees (dogs, giraffes) who assume an integrating function. They act as tough enforcers who are not afraid of confrontation. The result is a wellfunctioning symbiosis. The involvement of complementary negotiators is essential in such cases. You should know that! »The lamb must not be involved in harsh discussions with aggressive disputants. She must be given the opportunity to verbalize her technical competence in peace and without annoying interruptions. The little lamb needs a strong partner with integrative qualities who takes on the role of the hard combatant without disputing the leadership function and decision-making authority with her superior.« Dealing with two different types of people (lamb and dog) Business negotiations may be conducted between two or more people. The so-called provider negotiates with two customers, e.g. couples, family members or friends. This is often the case when important, expensive, and complex purchases are involved. One classic example is the purchase of properties, in which usually two people appear as buyers. In these cases, an agent often negotiates with two people interested in buying the property, e.g. partners. In the following example it is assumed that the prospective buyers are completely opposite in character. One is a typical dog and the other a typical lamb. <?page no="98"?> Lamb 99 Excursus 3 | Possible course of a business negotiation between real estate agent, lamb and dog It is very likely that the dog will take the initiative to talk, ask questions, negotiate, and dictate the terms and conditions. The dog pulls out all paralinguistic and non-linguistic stops, i.e. tone of voice, emphasis, phonation, timbre and gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact. These signals are used accordingly by the dog and dosed according to his taste. This quickly puts her in the centre of attention. The dog is decisive, proactive and - when it comes to conditions - also aggressive. His language is direct, decisive, clear, and content-oriented. He simply wants to impress the real estate agent and show him or her who is in charge here. It is just as likely that the lamb will withdraw herself verbally and nonverbally in this situation. She will probably leave the full negotiation initiative to the partner. She cannot and will not steal the show from her partner under any circumstances. The lamb talks little but listens very attentively. She is afraid to look the real estate agent directly in the eye. This gives the impression of avoiding eye contact and physical contact. She asks few, but thoughtful and targeted questions. Her voice is quiet and insecure. Emphases which indicate a certain interest and a special wish are hardly to be noted. Her terminology is indirect and relationship-oriented. She signals a certain apathy and lack of drive. The little lamb behaves more like a supporting actor than an active buyer who is interested in the business. The real estate agent is in a difficult position. Naturally, he tends to focus his attention on the more active person (dog). The conversation is primarily bilateral, i.e. between the real estate agent and the dog. The more the real estate agent talks to the more active buyer, the less he devotes his attention to the quiet and reserved person. The lamb is automatically excluded. Humans have a natural tendency to talk to verbally active people and to leave the calmer and shy prospective customer out. <?page no="99"?> 100 Type of person This behaviour can also be observed in a group of children with different characters. Loud dogs, hyperactive moneys and talkative frogs take the attention. They bark and agitate until they are the focus of the group. Adults inevitably have to take care of them. Lambs, hedgehogs and partly reserved horses, on the other hand, remain calm and do not disturb the others. They are simply good children. Result: Adults predominantly communicate with difficult children, who are thereby recompensed, and they tend to neglect or ignore the quiet and inconspicuous children. Such behaviour can also be observed among adults. Back to our case. If the real estate agent gives the greatest attention to the dog ( reward ), he will certainly neglect or ignore the lamb ( punishment ). He forgets that the actual difficult customer is not necessarily the more active one, but rather the more passive one. The silent customer, who listens attentively and analyses the property thoroughly, gets a lot of information from the real estate agent, who, however, is occupied with the dog most of the time. The provider (agent) gets very little information or even nothing from his quiet customer. Such behaviour is bad for the business relation. During a sale, the seller should get as much information as possible from the customer. In our case, however, it is the other way around. The real estate agent must not make this serious mistake. The loud, dominant, and barking dog is certainly an exhausting conversation partner. But thanks to his open and direct communication style, he automatically provides the real estate agent with important information that he urgently needs for the business deal. However, a talkative and dominant person is not necessarily the decision-maker or winner in this situation. If a little lamb does not get the expected attention and empathy from the real estate agent during such a business negotiation, she will probably not make a decision in his presence, especially if the answer is negative. She prefers to decide at home. Nowadays, a shy person no longer must directly reject people as he or she can easily <?page no="100"?> Lamb 101 communicate by using digital devices. A text message or WhatsApp without much of a comment is enough for lambs and the problem is solved. The dog, however, has no inhibitions to directly tell the real estate agent his personal opinion. Conclusion In the present case, the lamb, and not dog, is the decision-maker . Thus, the lamb is the more important person. If a real estate agent wants to make a deal with such a couple, he has to include the quiet, reserved and supposedly weaker person into the conversation without ignoring the more active person. The real estate agent has to include everybody into the conversation, verbally and nonverbally. Without the establishment of a relationship-oriented negotiation, it is very difficult for a lamb to open up and make a fruitful and objective dialogue. There are people of this kind who are extremely sensitive. The empathic communicative approach of the real estate agent should build an emotional bridge. Such a character combination of a couple is not gender-specific. However, if the woman is the lamb and the man is the dog, the task of the provider becomes even more difficult. In any communication process you should not ignore anyone present, women or men. To ignore a man is bad, to ignore a woman is simply fatal! You should pay attention to lambs! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with lambs » V isual perception of lambs » Establish suitable visual contact » Create a pleasant atmosphere for discussions » Include her into the conversation with adequate open questions <?page no="101"?> 102 Type of person » Try to overcome the lamb’s uncertainty, demonstrate sensitivity » Show honest appreciation and praise » Give feedback » Strengthen the lamb’s weakly developed self-confidence » If possible, remember the little lamb » Show interest, build trust » Use the lamb’s skills to the fullest » Let her talk, take your time, do not interrupt her, or take her by surprise » Win her over as a social human being » Do not force a decision » Strive for long-term, solid relationships » Appreciate the lamb’s loyalty » With the right empathetic guidance, try to transform lambs into horses » Motivate the lamb by: Inclusion, trust, honest appreciation, and praise. Discover and use her qualities. Give appropriate and frequent feedback, use the horse as a coach and mentor. Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with lambs » Dominant and arrogant appearance » Too direct and harsh language full of imperatives » Creation of an unpleasant working atmosphere » Ignoring her knowledge » Ignoring her, excluding her » Aggressive attitude: Threatening eye contact, showing off, pointing the finger at the lamb, loud and determined language » Interrupting her or not letting her speak » Showing impatience and irritation » Deciding for the little lamb and patronizing it <?page no="102"?> Lamb 103 » Sending the lamb into the “dog’s cave” » Making fun of her » Embarrassing or even humiliating her in front of other people » Weakening her self-esteem » No feedback culture » Insensitivity <?page no="104"?> Type of person »hedgehog« - grumpy performer predominant characteristics: introverted, critical, suspicious, reliable What you should know about hedgehogs! Hedgehogs (erinaceidae) form a family of mammals. This little animal is often described in children’s books as easily recognizable by their brown spikes with white tips. They carry about 8000 of these spikes, which are actually transformed hairs, on their backs. They actually only grow hair on their stomachs, in their faces, around their always moist nose and their dark beady eyes. People with hedgehog characteristics get important additional character traits in this reading. » The introverted , uncommunicative, and grumpy hedgehog type feels comfortable in his spiky nest <?page no="105"?> 106 Type of person » He does not necessarily need intensive contact with the outside world. » He needs time to gradually open up as well as a large physical distance to his neighbour (interlocutor). » With his pointed spikes he vehemently defends his territory from strangers and invaders. While the lamb gradually opens up through praise, esteem and attention, the hedgehog, on the other hand, offers stubborn resistance . His great caution and also his unmistakable defensive attitude represent an imaginary barrier for work colleagues that is not easy to overcome. If a person physically gets too close to him, i.e. exceeds the vital distance), he takes out his pointed wires and begins to sting. This behavior is a mere defense mechanism. He does not necessarily need intensive contact with the outside world. Facts ∣ Explanation of terms There is a social, physical distance between people. It usually corresponds to the arm length of the larger person involved in the dialogue plus X cm. If one person exceeds this minimum distance, the other automatically withdraws. This blocks any physical contact. Hedgehogs, have a great need to maintain social distance. The variable subjective distance X thus becomes longer. Not an easy opponent for dogs, monkeys, and frogs An impulsive dog, a curious monkey or a talkative frog quickly feel the hedgehog’s counter-attack. For enthusiastic, sociable, openminded, spirited colleagues who display initiative, dealing with the typical hedgehog is rather tiring and full of surprises. The critical gaze with contracted eyebrows and vertical forehead wrinkles are typical indicators of a hedgehog. His serious facial expression, without showing a hint of smile, express a certain mistrust towards the other person. <?page no="106"?> Hedgehog 107 Similar to the little lamb, the hedgehog prefers to listen and speaks little. If he does speak, then critical comments are often the order of the day. He is more occupied with himself than with others. The hedgehog rarely takes the initiative and usually behaves apathetically. Humor and optimism are not very pronounced. The repertoire of the hedgehog type includes pessimism and personal criticism. If a conversation partner approaches the hedgehog or even crosses his large vital, physical distance, he runs the risk that the hedgehog instantly ‘curls up into a ball’, i.e. extends his spikes for selfprotection. He does not do this out of aggressiveness but out of fear and as a defence mechanism. However, despite of his reserved character, he still seems quite aggressive. Enthusiasm, eloquence, and entertainment are not the hedgehog’s strongest suit The classic hedgehog is neither the born salesman nor the enthusiastic and persuasive speaker. In contrast to frogs and monkeys, he has no problem with time management and the structure of presentations of lectures, which he likes to stick to. Because of his strong need for security, he prefers reading aloud over free speech. At work he is a good and reliable information and knowledge supplier, but not necessarily a typical entertainer. He likes to work in administration or in areas where his meticulous and system-oriented approach is needed. Loves meticulous tasks in a monotasking environment The hedgehog’s popular activities include researching, organizing, and summarizing important information and results, sketching lectures, structuring and recording presentations. In politics and management hedgehogs prefer to work in the background. Born politicians or rhetorically experienced bosses like to engage this type of person in the meticulous preparation of their political and business presentations, discussions, and debates. Hedgehogs act in this func- <?page no="107"?> 108 Type of person tion as permanently invisible companions of famous giraffes. The hedgehog is no threat to a giraffe’s personality. Even the reticent and shy little lamb has more chances to distinguish himself than the hedgehog. The success of gifted and busy speakers always depends on the validity of the arguments prepared by the hedgehog. In this function the hedgehog finds his highest motivation and willingness to perform. Long live the complementarity of different character traits and situations! In stressful situations, he can even explode The hedgehog remains calm and inconspicuous during discussions and arguments, but he can freak out quickly in stressful situations. If you hit his weak point, consciously or unintentionally, he can explode from one moment to the next. Such an outbreak is rare and therefore usually completely unexpected for those involved. The damage can be considerable for the hedgehog, as he is hardly able to control himself in this situation. The intensity of the hedgehog type’s explosion corresponds to the physical law of actio et reactio. The greater the implosion , the more violent the explosion . The hedgehog is a rather unapproachable human being. This is why it is difficult to deal with him, but he still is an attentive listener. In this way, he gets a lot of information without actively taking part in the conversation himself. Before the hedgehog takes a stand, he thoroughly analyses the situation and the statements of the other Time Explosion <?page no="108"?> Hedgehog 109 person. He gains valuable time to detect possible hidden weaknesses of his opponents. In this way, he gains security for his critical counter-arguments. Hedgehogs, creatures of habit In companies, however, hedgehogs are hardworking and reliable employees. They prefer familiar environments and their aversion to change is no secret. There is a limit to the hedgehog’s adaptability, courage to change, willingness to experiment and spirit of adventure. Certainty is their first priority. They favor predictable situations; they tend to reject spontaneous actions. When they must improvise, they feel uncomfortable. Then their insecurity and introversion increase. For the hedgehog, thorough topic preparation is a valuable means of gaining confidence, appearing more self-confident, and more open and accessible. You should know that! »At work, hedgehog types prefer to act in the background undisturbed. They prefer to work in a monotasking environment, without permanent interruptions and annoying distractions. This is where they feel safest and perform at their best. Constant disturbances and dealing with overactive colleagues confuse the hedgehog and make him insecure. When there are tensions within the team or when dealing with dominant, hyperactive, or arrogant people, they clearly have difficulties. They can react extremely sensitive and quickly isolate themselves.« Hedgehogs are not divas, but modest, introverted players At team games the hedgehog does what he is told - without any ifs or buts. He does his job without any airs and graces. Even excellent players are rather modest and do not brag. They concentrate on the game and are anxious to show their playful talent, rather than showing off. Hedgehogs are also more reserved in their private lives, and <?page no="109"?> 110 Type of person they hardly reveal anything private. Celebrity hedgehog types are rarely the focus of the tabloid press. If a leader is a hedgehog - which is rarely the case - both vertical and horizontal communication is sporadic. The few meetings and annual staff meetings are short and tight, well structured, but predominantly factual and content-oriented. The social component is inevitably pushed into the background by the hedgehog manager. Bilateral discussions are even rarer. The feedback culture is not one of the important concerns of a real hedgehog who is more interested in detailed aspects and results than in discussions with his employees. Not the most innovative leader Apart from a few exceptions, the hedgehog behaves more like an accountant than someone in a leadership position. He replaces visions, innovations, long-term strategies and risk-related decisions with short-term strategies, control, planning execution and riskaverse decisions. He manages more than he leads. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the hedgehog » Introverted, talks little » Listens carefully » Cold » Critical, suspicious » Tendency towards pessimism » Loves his peace, prefers to work alone » Self-esteem weakly developed » Highest performance in a monotasking environment » Hates disturbances » Follows instructions reliably » Not a real team player <?page no="110"?> Hedgehog 111 » Implodes, isolates himself » Avoids confrontation » Not the center of attention » No diva » Needs physical distance and time » Is often avoided » No tendency towards innovation » Loves familiar surroundings » Empathy weakly developed » Can explode in stressful situations Body language of the hedgehog A striking feature of the hedgehog is his facial expression. The critical gaze, the eyebrows contracted towards the centre of the face and the striking vertical forehead fold express a certain mistrust. You should know that! »In stressful situations, such as controversially discussed topics or tricky conversations with superiors, hedgehogs quickly get a red head. The reason for blushing is not embarrassment, but suppressed aggression and anger. Under tension they often chew their fingernails or scratch their bodies, especially their necks. They often retreat and bow their heads downwards. Short steps, a quiet pace, great physical distance from the contact person and notorious restraint are the most striking features of hedgehog human types. If someone steps over a hedgehog’s vital body distance, he defends it with critical and firm rejection.« <?page no="111"?> 112 Type of person Masculine vs. feminine behaviour There are hardly any significant gender differences among hedgehogs. Only in an encounter between a female hedgehog and a proactive male animal looking for contact do women behave more reserved than men. The female hedgehog’s eye contact with male fellow human beings is even weaker and shorter than with the male hedgehog type. In critical situations, women even sometimes hide parts of their faces with their hair, sweaters, scarves, etc. While sitting, they like to hide their thumbs under their hands. They often place their arms under the table. Both signals reveal their insecure and reserved posture. Overview ∣ Male and female hedgehogs Male Female Introverted Appearance Introverted appearance more pronounced Critical view is obvious Critical view more subtle Isolate themselves Large physical distance Physical distance even more conspicuous Handshake rather soft Handshake very soft Uncertain pace, small and quiet steps Uncertain pace, very small and very quiet steps Head pointing downwards Head pointing downwards very pronounced Avoids physical contact Hates physical contact Evident chewing of fingernails Chewing fingernails less evident Shows discomfort in stressful situations In stressful situations discomfort less pronounced <?page no="112"?> Hedgehog 113 Dealing with hedgehogs The hedgehog belongs to the group of people who naturally implode and swallow a lot and thus avoid open and hard confrontation. In highly controversial disputes, they almost always lose out. The hedgehog, however, defends himself more than the lamb, who is very often 'swallowed' by the dog, whose wild form is the wolf. The hedgehog’s resistance can manifest himself in completely unexpected violent explosions when insults or delicate arguments are made. Such escalations and outbursts of rage are harmful and should be prevented if possible. The employees involved in the conversation should therefore support the hedgehog. In order to prevent an unnecessary and explosive escalation, they must give the hedgehog the opportunity to express himself spontaneously and without pressure. Because, like lambs, he is hardly noticed initially and only reluctantly intervenes in an argument, horses, foxes or even dogs are advised to take the initiative, however, without embarrassing the hedgehog. If you want to involve the hedgehog in the discussion, you should mention his merits and abilities openly. The hedgehog employee is not one of those people who are often showered with compliments and praise. Still, some hedgehogs cannot deal with receiving appreciation. They are simply not used to being appreciated. You can praise them directly or indirectly for the results they have achieved. The praise, however, should be honest. Finesse and empathy are required. This helps them to overcome their inhibitions on a communicative level. Only then will the hedgehog be ready to become more verbally active. The appropriate communicative approach to introverted and taciturn people often has a motivating effect. The inquirer should take his time, listen calmly and with interest, and devote all his attention exclusively to the hedgehog. Any distraction will be judged negatively by the hedgehog and interpreted as evidence of disinterest. This must be avoided at all costs. <?page no="113"?> 114 Type of person Not a pleasant negotiator The hedgehog is not a pleasant partner in negotiations. This is mainly due to his uncommunicative attitude, his quiet nature, and his lack of making contacts and decisions. The hedgehog’s attention to detail and structure are by no means an obstacle in a negotiation. This procedure is valuable for a well-structured and goal-oriented way of working, but should be used adequately by a person with an affinity for decision making, otherwise it loses its effect. The hedgehog is dependent on the cooperation with capable negotiation experts with conflicting or complementary characteristics. In such a constellation he can represent his point of view without being directly involved in the heated discussion. This - from his point of view - uncomfortable task should be taken over by other persons. Excursus 4 | Two hedgehogs as leaders In the administration of a medium-sized company, there are 15 experts who work closely together. After the team leader retired, the personnel manager appointed two equal employees as team leaders. By chance, both are hedgehogs who do not like each other very much. They were asked to take on two different but complementary management functions. In order to optimise the cooperation within the group, open, objective and employee-related communication is necessary at both vertical and horizontal levels. In this respect, weekly staff meetings were planned and held as a regular event. The personnel manager - a hard-working and decent person, but with a low knowledge of human nature - wanted to turn two quiet, reserved, and shy administrative experts into an ideal tandem to lead a strong team of 15 people. This group also includes two insecure and shy, hard-working, and experienced experts (lamb-hedgehog crossings), as well as a snooty giraffe, who is unpopular with all her colleagues and makes group cohesion more difficult because of her arrogance. For the past three years, the team has been led by these two introverted, listless bosses <?page no="114"?> Hedgehog 115 (male hedgehogs) who above have been reluctant in making decisions. These two leaders have worked for years as experts without any leadership responsibility. They almost never delegated tasks to colleagues. They felt very comfortable in their role as executive managers. Neither of the two aspired to such a leadership position, this function is new to them. When the personnel manager offered them this new and more lucrative management responsibility in tandem, they agreed without hesitation. Because of their weak emotional intelligence and poor social skills, they hardly thought about how to lead a team of 'former' colleagues. It is not easy to go from expert to manager and from manager to leader. In such a situation a change of behaviour within the group is necessary. It is not an easy task to lead former colleagues, especially if the bosses and some employees are the classic hedgehog human types. In addition, the team has an arrogant colleague (giraffe), who basically does not take instructions from anyone, let alone from former colleagues. During the weekly staff meetings, the two bosses deliberately avoided having constructive discussions on sensitive topics and addressing open confrontations among the team members. The main points were insignificant technical details, “pseudo problems” or irrelevant discussions that did not lead to the desired outcome. The primary topic of discussion was “managing the status quo”. The relationships between colleagues (horizontal level) were not ideal. The sublime animal (giraffe) enjoyed a special position, which in turn created further tensions between her and all other colleagues. The working atmosphere was far too often very heated. All colleagues (bosses included) suffered from a permanently tense situation; motivation and performance of all team members decreased. Only the giraffe seemed to feel comfortable. The resulting problems of interpersonal incompatibility were too rarely addressed and incompletely discussed. For both team leaders there were only a few certain and, from the point of view of the team <?page no="115"?> 116 Type of person members, insignificant factual arguments to be discussed. The prevailing tension on the horizontal and vertical levels was ignored for far too long. The frequency of violent and unexpected explosions, both from the bosses and from employees with similar characteristics, increased rapidly. These typical hedgehog outbursts of rage created an evident deterioration in motivation and cooperation among most team members. The two bosses were not able to strengthen the cohesion of the group due to their lack in character. They lacked the ability to socialize. Apart from the weekly meetings, there were no social events that would have fostered the team spirit. Even the usual Christmas parties were cancelled. As expected, this “daring” experiment went wrong after three torturous years. Because of their weak leadership skills, their lack of enthusiasm, their lacking ability of making decisions, their lack of determination, straightforward leadership and their problems in dealing with the giraffe and the lamb-hedgehog, both bosses continued to behave like colleagues to their former colleagues and not like managers. They, too, were victims of a wrong decision made by the personnel manager. The hedgehogs were downright overstrained with such an unsuitable management task. Typical hedgehogs are good and reliable employees who prefer to work alone or in small groups. Apart from a few exceptions, leadership is not one of their strengths. Conclusion Typical hedgehogs notoriously show that they have more or less pronounced difficulties with arrogant, dominant, sociable, talkative and hyperactive people. Introverted, taciturn and even grumpy hedgehogs with little emotional intelligence can certainly be outstanding experts. However, these important professional qualities are not enough to be a good manager. In the example above, the team was very demotivated and frustrated. The two bosses with hedgehog attributes felt like foreign bodies in this function. In the end, there was no winner but only losers. <?page no="116"?> Hedgehog 117 You should pay attention to hedgehogs! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with hedgehogs » Empathetic approach » Pay attention to hedgehogs, include them » Ask open questions, listen carefully » Respect physical distance, never overstep it » Reduce physical contact to a minimum » Step-by-step approach (verbal) » No hard, fast and aggressive approach » No provocation, no imperative form » Do not embarrass them (loss of face) » Respect their shyness » Gain their trust, gradually overcome their negative attitude » Cautious criticism, finesse » Strengthen their self-esteem » Show interest » Consciously integrate them into the conversation » If you know the hedgehog, try to remember him » In conversations, and especially when making decisions, give them time » Motivate them by: Acceptance, appeal to their knowledge and reliability Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with hedgehogs » Dominance (dog), impatience (monkey), arrogance (giraffe) » Presenting their working methods - meticulousness, reserve, monotasking attitude, isolation - as a deficiency » Weakening his poorly formed self-esteem even more » Not giving him the time, he needs » Ignoring physical distance <?page no="117"?> 118 Type of person » Taking him by surprise » Buddy-like body language (punch on the shoulder) » Public, direct, and harsh criticism » Commanding and condescending tone » Cynical remarks » Provoking hedgehogs, causing uncontrolled and harmful explosions » Not perceiving hedgehogs, isolating them completely » Seeking confrontation » Not trusting them, showing distrust » Not showing interest » No finesse <?page no="118"?> Type of Person »hippopotamus« - slow duty performer predominant characteristics: phlegmatic, barely listens, passive, keeps calm What you should know about hippopotamuses! The hippopotamus (hippopotamus amphibius) is a large herbivorous mammal. It is one of the heaviest land mammals after elephants. Hippopotamuses are slow animals with a barrel-shaped body, a massive head, and short limbs. They spend practically the whole day sleeping or resting and are always in the water or in close proximity to it. They often dive under water showing only their eyes, ears, and nostrils. Although well adapted to life in the water (amphibious lifestyle), hippos are bad swimmers. <?page no="119"?> 120 Type of person People with hippopotamus attributes also have other characteristics Due to their sluggish attitude and passivity, hippopotamus types are described as phlegmatic , slow, rather disinterested, sleepy people that hardly take the initiative. The typical hippopotamus usually lacks the ability to concentrate and to pay attention to his surroundings. Because the animal hippopotamus has small ears , the human hippo’s weaknesses are listening, concentrating, and paying attention. Especially in meetings, workshops, presentations, and symposia hippos stand out as sluggish participants. Why do some people behave like animal hippos? Passivity can have many causes. Some people find it difficult to stay active for health or physiological reasons, especially when they have to listen for a relatively long time. Even rhetorically brilliant speakers who show eloquence and a great art of entertainment reach their limits with listeners with such concentration difficulties . These are above all the ‘pure’ hippopotamus types. These types are rather rare in the realm of animal typology. Indeed, each human - even the watchful fox, the attentive horse or the vital dog - can behave for a certain time and in certain situations like a hippo. Are there actually genuine hippos? Strictly speaking, the hippopotamus is not necessarily a separate type. Under certain circumstances, all humans can develop hippopotamus qualities. There can be several reasons for the lacking ability to concentrate and the unwillingness to listen actively or to participate: Fatigue, time of day, air quality, room temperature, light intensity, uncomfortable sitting, heavy lunches, digestive problems, alcohol consumption before dinner and many other unfavourable factors. <?page no="120"?> Hippopotamus 121 You should know that! »In particular, content-oriented speakers - technicians, specialists, experts, clerks, etc. - tend to explain and comment on everything in detail to the audience. This abundance of numbers, facts and numerous superfluous details bores most listeners. Such monotonous speakers possess the ability to transform mentally active horses, foxes, monkeys, giraffes, etc. into mentally passive hippos.« In these cases, the cause of the problem are not the present listeners, but rather the lacking use of adequate rhetorical means and persuasive communication on the part of the speaker. However, there are also naturally phlegmatic people at work who have little interest in the matter. This group includes people on the brink of retirement or employees working in a company with low prospects lacking incentives or control. However, there are employees who cultivate their phlegm, apathy, and disinterest at the expense of other colleagues. Hippos love routine A hippopotamus is not considered a driving force. His greatest motivation is not to change the status quo significantly. As a colleague, he does his daily work with calmness and composure. Long-term goals and visions are rather driven forward by a few ambitious, more active employees than by classic hippos. The few ambitious hippos amongst them can also take the lead. Hippos in managing positions give employees a great deal of freedom As a leader, a real hippopotamus usually favours the laissez-faireleadership style. There are no other valid leadership alternatives. As <?page no="121"?> 122 Type of person the term laissez-faire implies, the hippo boss grants the employees a lot of creative freedom. In some cases, they even determine and organize their own workflow. The superior hardly interferes in the operational processes. Hippos as apathetic negotiation partners The verb ‘to act’ implies activity, i.e. the active, verbal and nonverbal participation of the persons involved, with verbal language being supported by body language. Without these two essential means of communication, no negotiation in the narrower sense can take place. The typical hippopotamus is very limited in showing these characteristics. During exhausting, stressful, and lengthy negotiations hippos get tired faster than other animal types. If the topics discussed are not interesting for them, they have no inhibitions to show their apathy offensively. The obvious demonstration of disinterest and mental absence can also be a sign of antipathy towards the negotiating partner. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the hippo » Phlegmatic, comfortable, ability to sit still for a long time » Responds passively to boring speeches » Listens very selectively or not at all » Short concentration range, especially during monologues » Disinterested » Aversion against (very) detailed presentation of figures, data, facts » Looking for other occupations, likes to nod off » Difficult to motivate, insensitive » Only does what it strictly necessary » More active in dialogue <?page no="122"?> Hippopotamus 123 » In heated discussions and negotiations, he keeps his composure and passivity » Does not provoke anyone » Can hardly be provoked » May help to deescalate certain situations Body language of the hippopotamus The typical hippopotamus prefers to take the rear seats in a symposium and makes himself as comfortable as possible. His body can remain quite motionless for a long time. The eyes look tired and are half-closed. His arms are either folded or lie on his slightly stretched forward belly. The legs are motionless. Nonpure-bred hippos do not initially show any specific nonverbal characteristics of this species. The disinterested and phlegmatic behaviour develops gradually. You should know that! »During long, intensive sessions and lectures, the body slowly sinks down until the head is under 20 cm above the table; his legs become longer and longer! His eyes close and open for a while until they finally remain completely closed. In these phases, the hippopotamus’s concentration reaches his lowest point! He hardly listens and is only physically present but mentally absent.« In addition to these symptoms of fatigue, the hippopotamus also shows other activities, such as using objects and electronic devices. He might pay attention, but it is certainly not directed at the speaker. <?page no="123"?> 124 Type of person Masculine vs. feminine behaviour Gender-specific differences are hardly perceptible. As has often been the case, feminine hippos show a better body control. They try to keep their body upright. The yawning and the tired eyes are nevertheless showing. Their apathy, motionlessness and their very comfortable posture cannot be hidden by both sexes. Overview ∣ Male and female hippos Male Female Phlegmatic, lethargic Phlegm and lethargy less pronounced Very comfortable sitting posture Comfortable sitting posture General passive posture Legs are getting longer and longer Tries not to stretch her legs very much Keeps calm Hands folded on the stomach Looks for other occupations Likes to doze off Yawns often Tries to suppress the yawning Eyes half or fully closed Makes an effort to keep her eyes open Dealing with hippopotamus Speakers should try to prevent or at least limit the mutation of other animal types into hippos. In lectures and presentations, he has sufficient tools that he can specifically use, such as the length of the <?page no="124"?> Hippopotamus 125 presentation or the density of the information conveyed (amount of text, numbers, and facts). The abuse of PowerPoint presentations must be criticized in particular. In seminars I like to use the following saying: “A lot of points but no power”. When speakers speak too softly, monotonously and quietly at meetings, symposia and workshops, or even worse, when they literally read out long texts, without making eye contact and using the appropriate voice intonation, it is very difficult to stimulate the attention of those present. So it is not surprising that even the people who are good listeners and are interested in the subject simply tune out and are mentally somewhere else. They then quickly reach for their smartphones and start to occupy themselves with other things. The art of a convincing and brilliant presentation is to select the arguments in such a way that they arouse the interest of most participants. This is achieved by a combination of content and a wellstructured but casual way of speaking. “The great secret is to present things with eloquence” (Voltaire). The entertainment value and enthusiasm are certainly not the main goals of a presentation, but they act as important ‘appetizers’ for the passive and rather sleepy hippos. If the speaker does not succeed in winning them over, the atmosphere and efficiency of the session might be compromised by the apathy of some participants. Can hippos be awakened from their lethargy? How can employees with a hippopotamus behaviour be motivated to show more commitment and dedication to their work? Even chronically passive people have certain interests and hobbies that can be used as stimuli. This implies a sufficient knowledge of the individual concerned. It is recommended to consciously involve the hippopotamus in the conversation. The very first step is to identify and apply topics, ideas or suggestions that activate the undersized ears of a hippopotamus. If a hippopotamus starts to listen to some extent, his curiosity is aroused. From this moment on, the dialogue is established. The hippopotamus gradually becomes the protagonist. <?page no="125"?> 126 Type of person Hippos have a leadership style after all The laissez-faire-leadership style is particularly popular with young, well-trained, and ambitious employees. It gives them the freedom they need to be creative and it also increases their personal responsibility. Consequently, this leads to an increase in their motivation. In addition to the desired autonomy at work, these young employees need a clear line and frequent feedback from their superiors. Whether a typical type of hippopotamus accepts this feedback remains to be seen. As already mentioned, a passive hippopotamus is not a real negotiator. If the hippopotamus type cannot change his attitude and behaviour, he should hire another person to do the job. You should know that! »Despite the negative attributes of these types of people, hippopotamus types can still have a calming effect. In foreseeable heated arguments, casual, phlegmatic, and insensitive people can be used quite deliberately. Because of their calmness and motionlessness, they might reduce tension. Loud dogs are discouraged to continue barking and hyperactive monkey are soothed. If dogs, frogs, monkeys and other disturbing individuals do not find an agitated and impulsive opponent, they lose their desire to argue. Calmness and prudence are restored.« Excursus 5 | Giving a presentation in front of tired spectators (hippopotamus) The following example describes the usual difficulties with an evening lecture in front of exhausted and tired spectators, so monkeys, foxes, giraffes, horses, frogs and dogs that transformed into hippos. A German workforce representation organized the annual meeting of the members. After the exhausting and very long meeting there was a presentation, which was not subject-related and which should <?page no="126"?> Hippopotamus 127 take place from 8: 30 p.m. to 9: 30 p.m. clock, thus after dinner. Throughout the day, the association members had actively participated in a few group activities, workshops and meetings. In the evening they celebrated having a solid German dinner with plenty of beer and wine. At 8: 30 in the evening, the speaker went on stage and immediately felt the stuffy, very warm air, filled with smells of food and beer. The spectators had already made themselves comfortable in the typical posture of exhausted and indifferent hippos before the presentation had even started. Their legs became 'longer' and their upper bodies 'shorter'. Some association members only showed their heads above the dining table. The upper body seemed to have completely disappeared! The breathing, which had already become difficult, was primarily through the mouth. Arms and hands were held still on the table or were completely hidden under the table. Slow glances behind half-closed eyelids completed the picture. The speaker immediately felt this difficult situation. He switched the beamer off and the light on in order to be able to observe the exhausted heads of the spectators - almost only men - more easily. Afterwards he established an intensive but pleasant visual contact to all 30 spectators - there could be no way of referring to them as listeners in this first phase. In such presentations, nonverbal and especially visual communication are the most effective means of addressing the audience directly, at least until the moment when the speaker and the audience start to consciously perceive each other. After establishing a nonverbal relationship with the audience, the desired transformation of the audience “from viewer to listener” can take place. In this second phase, the primary verbal goal of the speaker was to further stimulate their attention by using wit, anecdotes, freely presented rhetorical refinements and the appropriate language to arouse the audience’s interest in the content. A talent for improvisation and an adequate communicative approach were required throughout the 60 minutes. Only in this way was the speaker - a vital, enthusiastic, and experienced fox - able to involve the au- <?page no="127"?> 128 Type of person dience, inspire them in a verbal and nonverbal way, and successfully convey the content in an adapted manner. Conclusion The speaker should therefore inquire in advance about the composition and physical condition of the audience and act accordingly, not the other way round. On stage, he must act quickly and, if necessary, completely change his presentation strategy. It makes no sense to stubbornly follow one’s own written concept. Entertainment is far more important here than the traditional, objective and dry presentation of information and facts. The predominantly freely conveyed content of the speech becomes part of the entertainment, not the other way round. The speaker should make the audience laugh as quickly as possible. As long as they laugh, they are prepared to support the speaker. This is perhaps the best way to gradually win over the initially exhausted audience (hippos) and transform them into interested listeners (horses). But not everyone is able to do that. Especially foxes and monkeys and also partly dogs can master such a situation successfully. You should pay attention to hippopotamus! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with hippos Premise: [1] With the so-called genuine hippos, the means of communication and motivation are often limited. This, however, concerns only a small part of the population. [2] The attention should be focused primarily on the so-called ‘transformed’ hippos, i.e. active and interested people who have only transformed into hippos during meetings, presentations, discussions or even negotiations. <?page no="128"?> Hippopotamus 129 Before presentations, symposia, meetings, etc.: » First of all, before his presentation, the speaker should inquire about the composition of the audience, i.e. who are the participants, what have they done before the presentation, what expectations do they have, and what does the audience think about the speaker, content and general situation. » What is the general mood regarding the speaker, topic, and specific situation? » Look at the facilities: Size, light ratio, air quality, seating, table arrangement, console, microphone, acoustics, projector, screen, noise, and disturbances inside and outside the conference room, etc. » Mind the time and length of the presentation or session. » The number of participants in relation to the room capacity has to be kept in mind as well as the distance between listeners and speakers. During presentations, symposia, meetings, etc.: » Consider the above influencing factors » Establish visual communication with the listeners » Arouse public interest » Are the participants wide awake or overstrained? » Are the first signs of fatigue and exhaustion already visible? » Possibly ask easy questions, in any case involve the audience first nonverbally and then verbally » Adequate voice modulation, pausing technique and pleasant eye contact with the listeners » No PowerPoint abuses » Set priorities, avoid unnecessary figures and data, only convey essential information » Talk freely, only read out the essentials (no lecture) » Addressing the interest of the audience » Way of speaking: brilliant presentation depending on the situation <?page no="129"?> 130 Type of person » Esprit and wit (appropriate to the topic, audience and situation) » Show enthusiasm and positive attitude » Structure your presentation well: Introduction, narrative, argumentation, finale » Captivate the audience » Consciously use your own body language (nonverbal signals) » Monologue should be perceived by the audience as a dialogue » Involve the audience during a monologue » Behaviour: Vitality (moderate monkey behaviour), talkativeness (moderate frog behaviour), cleverness (moderate fox behaviour), authority (horse) Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with hippos » Only looking for the reasons of hippopotamus behaviour with listeners, colleagues, superiors or negotiating partners. » No examination of technical influencing factors and the given situation of the audience » Too many facts and figures » PowerPoint obsession » Inappropriate PowerPoint material, such as colours, font size, too much text which is difficult to read » Reading aloud » No visual contact to the audience, ignoring him completely » Monotonous presentation style: length, voice emphasis, pausing technique, handling of helpful tools, etc.) » Speaking without passion and enthusiasm » Acting like a hippopotamus yourself » Not setting priorities, everything is presented in the same way » No empathic communication » Showing no interest in the audience » Not responding to typical hippo signals <?page no="130"?> Tpye of person »giraffe« - diva-like competence carrier predominant characteristics: self-confident, power-obsessed, arrogant, educated What you should know about giraffes! The giraffe (camelopardalis) is the tallest animal living on land. Adult male animals can grow up to 5-6 meters and female animals up to 4.6 meters high. In order to survive, giraffes do not have to make a big effort. These elegant animals occupy a food niche, which they do not have to share with anyone because of its unattainable height for other mammals. The long neck quickly gives the gentle and aesthetic giraffe a decisive advantage - also in relation to its enemies. Thanks to its size, it has a good and wide overview and can quickly identify its enemies. This allows giraffes to avoid confrontations with aggressive species in good time. <?page no="131"?> 132 Type of person Giraffe types also have other interesting characteristics: » They are among the people who show the greatest pride. Like in nature, they keep a physical distance to others. » They stand above all animals, which they can control “from above” with ease. So they always keep a certain visual control. » Giraffe types are usually referred to as elitist, arrogant and stuck-up individuals. » They are the “big animals” of our society par excellence. » Often, they are people in prestigious, public functions. Giraffes represent the important things of this world. » They show a pronounced self-confidence, self-assurance and also complacency. Giraffes often react like mimosas Giraffe types show an offensive behaviour in a confrontation. However, they are quite allergic to criticism, even if it is quietly and constructively presented. Giraffes hate it when they are contradicted in public - especially in front of employees and subordinates. Their reaction can then be extremely sensitive. Because they are terrified of losing their face, they try to prevent this by all means. In this case, the conversation partner must expect condescending remarks and deliberate insults. As superior giraffes show their employees arrogance and harshness There is a very high probability for you to have a giraffe as your superior, often on different hierarchical levels. Dealing with giraffes is a difficult and tedious endeavour, even from an objective point of view. The relationship between a giraffe and her employees becomes even more delicate when it comes to controversial issues and factual differences. There are managers of this type who apply draconian measures in controversial discussions with their employees. Reliable, high-ranking, experienced but disobedient managers have already been fired simply because they took the liberty of publicly contra- <?page no="132"?> Giraffe 133 dicting the CEO 13 , i.e. the giraffe. As with dogs, giraffe types favour the coercive leadership style. Numerous giraffe individuals occupy high positions in society and have a lot of responsibility. They have extensive leadership skills and a great ability to make important decisions. Giraffes are fully recognized as successful leaders in various areas of society. This speaks for the capabilities of this type of person. The main problem is their snobbish habitus. No one dares to question their expert knowledge, on the contrary. They are recognized as the outstanding experts par excellence. The main criticism of giraffes is focused almost exclusively on their arrogant behaviour. Sensitive listeners react sensitively to the arrogance of these smug people. Giraffes are often talked about in the media as superman or divas. Giraffes like to underline their social and political importance in society by posing for the public on various occasions. The powerful and ambitious politician with giraffe qualities also wants to be a good sportsman who gives great importance to a well-trained body. On the tennis and golf courts, real giraffes always appear elitist and snobbish. Giraffes expect absolute loyalty from their employees and voters Ambitious, successful, and career-oriented giraffe types can rarely handle defeats and failure. They project success and failure onto themselves. Politicians of this human type virtually force voters to support their ideas and implement them. They achieve this by linking the outcome of referendums or other decision-making processes with their personal political destiny. In this way, voters, supporters, or employees are forced to decide not only about the matter, but above all about the person. Giraffes expect absolute loyalty from their closest associates. Giraffe types in a high social or prestigious position - politicians, film divas, orchestra conductors, scientists, professors, successful <?page no="133"?> 134 Type of person entrepreneurs, well-known top athletes, etc. - attach great importance to being perceived by the public as perfect and impeccable persons. For them it is essential that the discovery of personal quirks is immediately nipped in the bud. Their shortcomings can be manifold, e.g. height, posture, hair volume, skin colour, physical appearance, level of knowledge, academic title, status, political weight, or the feeling of being less important than other people. They only want to show their, from their point of view, positive qualities. A giraffe is simply too important to reveal possible insecurities. These attributes lead to giraffe-specific behaviour. Often, they appear last at appointments, events or other types of meetings. They enjoy making other people wait. Giraffes use the factor time as power. The more important the giraffe, the longer the waiting time for others. Giraffes do not wait, they let others wait . Two giraffes on the same hierarchical level do not get along If two giraffes act on the same hierarchical level, this can lead to tensions, rivalries, and a sense of competition. Two proud and unyielding giraffes in the same leadership position cannot go well for too long. It can even have a destructive effect: on the working atmosphere, the whole team, their motivation, and performance. The confrontation between the two giraffes unfolds primarily on the relationship level. Even if the confrontation appears to be objective, specific, and goal-oriented at first glance, the real causes of the conflict are mainly on the personal level. To the public, giraffes want to be perceived as people who think rationally. But this is often a pretext. The primary causes of discord have emotional origins. No one involved admits this openly, especially the giraffes. The level of communication is asymmetrical in such a situation: relationship vs. subject. Because the relationship level is disturbed, objective arguments are usually a pure alibi . In this case, no committed giraffe is seriously interested in conflict resolution with equals. In hard and stressful conversations, discussions and negotiations, giraffe types do not avoid confrontation. In the presence of other <?page no="134"?> Giraffe 135 people, they vehemently protect themselves from possible embarrassment. They seem to protect their own big ego more than they defend their own arguments. Attentive women can discover the quirks of giraffes At work and in everyday life, women naturally observe the facial expressions, gestures, and postures of their counterparts pretty closely. They also have the ability to read and interpret verbal messages between the lines. This allows them to discover and decode certain hidden secrets of their counterpart. Although there is a certain tendency to overinterpret, women are often able to decode the most subtle verbal and often unconsciously sent paraverbal and nonverbal signs ad hoc. In this field, men could learn a lot from women. It gets exciting when dominant female employees relatively quickly discover the weaknesses (quirks) of their male manager with giraffe characteristics. Because of their combative inclination, they do not shy away from confrontation with the other giraffe. They do not limit themselves to only discover the weaknesses of the leader, but they also verbalize them in the presence of other people. This can have negative consequences for these employees. Giraffes in high positions are usually competent and successful. But why then do famous chief physicians, capable politicians, recognized scientists, or established leaders of a global player behave like a giraffe (giraffic)? The answer is: Even luminaries are people who find it difficult to deal with their imaginary or real weaknesses. You should know that! »As a proud and confident person, the giraffe only wants to communicate and negotiate with equal partners. She would take it as an insult if she had to argue with a lower-ranking partner. Social status, hierarchy and the importance of the meeting are important criteria for the giraffe’s participation. A giraffe checks these carefully during the meeting. She also wants to know which of the participating opponents has the greatest decision- <?page no="135"?> 136 Type of person making powers. The giraffe always wants to be the strongest. She abhors playing a supporting role.« Two divas do not get along If the contact person or negotiator is a giraffe himself, endowed with the same power, a relationship problem could arise between these two divas. The competition is already noticeable during the greeting. Both try to impress the other nonverbally and argumentatively. And both hold lengthy and wordy monologues about their merits and visions. They want to impress their antagonist as best as they can. In doing so, they forget to adequately involve their employees in their negotiations. The endeavour to impress the contact or negotiation partner and ultimately appear more significant and better is more important for the giraffes than focusing on the actual discussion and negotiation content. But giraffes are more than just ambitious, power-obsessed people with little team spirit. Many have been trained at world-famous elite universities. They are smart, hard-working, and very eloquent people. Their distinctive, accurate way of speaking and their confident appearance in presentations, dialogues and discussions emphasise their profound knowledge and professional skills. Most of them have all the necessary communicative and leadership tools to convince a demanding and critical team and successfully manage a company. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the giraffe » Elitist, the head of a group » Looking down from top to bottom » Self-important (peacock behaviour) » Confident appearance » Keeps physical distance <?page no="136"?> Giraffe 137 » Striking personality, the centre of attention » Likes to rule » Elbow mentality » Arrogant attitude, likes to show off » Opinionated » No fear of confrontation, sensitive to criticism » Likes to argue, does not take criticism well » Likes to humiliate » Likes to be in control » Keeps people waiting » Career affinity » Job in representation, senior management positions » Power obsessed, decision-maker » Dislikes rivals, diva » Narcissistic, egocentric, egomaniac » Demands fidelity and even obedience » Wears a mask, panicked fear of being discovered » Terrified of embarrassment » Not empathic » Very ambitious » Well educated and prepared » Eloquent, competent » Aesthete, accurate, attaches importance to her looks » Profile neurosis Body language of the giraffe Her entire appearance is quite conspicuous . Many female and male giraffes are snobbish. But they are also true aesthetes. Giraffes love fashionable, beautiful, and matching clothes. Signed ties, handmade <?page no="137"?> 138 Type of person brand shoes, modern accessories, designer glasses, eye-catching jewellery, valuable watches, and fountain pens are all on display by the fashion-conscious giraffe. Subordinates should be careful not to steal the show from their boss. In this field, the giraffe does not tolerate annoying competition, let alone from her employees. The giraffe wants to be perceived as a diva. The upright posture, the stretched neck and the head always held high signal her ambition to stand above the others and to keep them under control. Giraffes point out the limits of their counterparts. Their conspicuous physical distance to the contact person and their notorious vanity can also be interpreted as some sort of selfprotection. You should know that! »Giraffes use different means of communication to impress colleagues, especially their subordinates. Their distanced and critical view from top to bottom has a pejorative effect, especially on insecure and dependent people. Their empty gaze is also perceived as condescending and insulting. In the process, fellow human beings feel downright ignored. Real giraffes are aware of the effect of their behaviour. This is one of the reasons why - psychologically speaking - they consciously use their gaze as an effective visual weapon. The giraffe can even wear sunglasses, depending on the situation, the type of opponent or the subject. By doing this, she probably wants to hide her true intentions, impress her partner, or unsettle him.« Masculine vs. feminine behaviour In the typical masculine posture, the hands are behind the head or neck, the arms have a triangular shape. The chest appears larger, as if inflated. The legs can be spread or even lie completely relaxed on the table. In long and exhausting sessions with colleagues, such a posture is interpreted as relaxation, not necessarily as a demonstra- <?page no="138"?> Giraffe 139 tion of dominance. However, in a delicate or difficult conversation, especially between a giraffe superior and a female subordinate, such a posture is almost always perceived as an act of showing off. Women react very sensitively to this - from their point of view - condescending attitude. They feel that their power-obsessed superiors do not take them seriously and take this as an insult. Male subordinates react less irritated than their female colleagues in such a situation. When the male giraffe acts from a stronger position, he likes to show off like a peacock performing the courtship display. The larger the feather volume and colour intensity, the more sublime and magnificent it appears. If the same giraffe were in a weaker negotiating position, it would probably not dare to adopt such an attitude. The described pose is a typical nonverbal signal of a person acting from a stronger position. The same pose among colleagues, for example during a brainstorming activity or chatting, has a very different connotation. Here, a comfortable posture simply means relaxation. When interpreting body language, not only the shown gestures are important, but also the context of the situation. The same gestures have different meanings in different situations. <?page no="139"?> 140 Type of person Male giraffes like to sit on their chair with their legs apart. Men clearly demonstrate their power by showing off and using up way more space than women. Eye contact is more direct, longer, and more intense. The tone is commanding and decisive. The deliberately used imperative form, accompanied by sarcasm or even cynicism, completes the typical male giraffe image. Female giraffes mostly avoid harsh, head-on, and aggressive discussions. They tend to use more subtle means. Their sitting posture is less confrontational; they prefer to sit sideways and thus avoid direct eye contact. The opposite side is deliberately ignored. Their pose is smug and arrogant. Female giraffes like to deal with other, seemingly banal things, such as looking at their fingernails, talking on the phone, playing with their hair, etc. Their voice is controlled and condescending. At first glance, the signals may not seem as harsh the ones sent by male giraffes. It must, however, be emphasised: The higher the hierarchical position, the blurrier the classic gender differences can become. Women in management positions like to adopt masculine attitudes. <?page no="140"?> Giraffe 141 Overview ∣ Male and female giraffes Male Female When he courts someone, he shows off like a bird of paradise Does not show off Takes up a lot of space Does not occupy any space Legs apart Hardly ever has her legs apart Often puts legs on the table Almost never puts legs on the table Arms behind his head Rarely puts her arms behind her head Keeps great physical distance Keeps physical distance Aesthete, accurate, fashionconscious Aesthete, accurate, very fashion-conscious Rare avoidance of eye contact Very frequent avoidance of eye contact Pronounced confrontational attitude Subtle confrontational attitude Very rarely touches his hair, plays little with accessories (valuable fountain pens) Frequently touches her hair, likes to play with accessories (designer sunglasses) Never uses mirrors Uses mirrors Almost never looks at his fingernails Likes to look at her fingernails Likes to display valuable, fashionable items Displays valuable, fashionable objects discreetly Frequent use of smartphones Openly shows impatience Shows impatience Enjoys to demonstrate power Demonstrates powe <?page no="141"?> 142 Type of person Dealing with the human type giraffe When choosing an adequate speaker or representative, these elements of a typical giraffe should also be considered. If the context is rather delicate, you should ask yourself whether a real giraffe type is a suitable main actor. If the subject matter, audience, and general mood pose a potential threat to the organisation, the presence of a giraffe may not be indicated. Especially in rather difficult situations, capable, well-prepared but arrogant people are only in some cases recommended as speakers, contact persons or main representatives of an organisation. The typical giraffe attitude would worsen the situation and the mutual relations. At meetings, as a subordinate you should only state your own opinion if you are sure you are not embarrassing or exposing the giraffe in any way. If she feels she has lost her face, she will strike back hard, without any consideration for other people. Then she will show no forgiveness. It is recommended to only focus on the content, not on the interpersonal relationship. This can become a real challenge at times, especially since the giraffe, when it comes to controversial topics, primarily attacks the disputant on a personal level, i.e. leaves the content-level of the discussion. Metaphorically speaking, she rather affects the heart of the adversary than his or her mind. This attitude is perceived as hurtful, especially by relationship-oriented and sensitive employees. And this is exactly what the giraffe aims at! The employee involved must therefore try as hard as possible to suppress his or her feelings. A good command of verbal and nonverbal language is vital in such cases. The sharp distinction between subject and person is an indispensable condition, in order to lead the discussion on a pragmatic and emotionally neutral level. If you are mentally prepared for a specific discussion with a giraffe, the application of a well-structured, argumentatively valid, and always goal-oriented approach can be helpful. The chosen arguments should be strong and difficult to contest and should under no cir- <?page no="142"?> Giraffe 143 cumstances be presented as a triumph against the giraffe. A smug posture and an ironic smile are immediately registered by the attentive giraffe and might be interpreted as an insult to the majesty. This is a true provocation for the giraffe: the beginning of a tormenting discussion with a disastrous end is inevitable. You should know that! »It is important that the employee establishes visual contact with the giraffe. This is of utmost importance in order to first perceive possible, nonverbal signals and then to react objectively to the counterarguments. Arrogant people hate to be ignored. The creation of a visual communication which is appropriate to the situation is appreciated by the giraffe. In this way, she receives the social recognition it expects. In order not to be personally attacked in a dispute, a suitable terminology must be chosen. The personal pronoun “I” must be replaced by “us” or “it”. Instead of saying “you are wrong”, it is appropriate to make indirect statements. Example: “There are other opinions ...”; or: “According to the following authors ...”. All these phrases are person-neutral and content-oriented. The expected counterarguments of the giraffe in this situation become more factual, more content-oriented and less personal. At the same time, she is disarmed in a certain way. She is forced to argue rationally.« Also, a servile attitude full of ambiguities, an insecure and quiet voice, a defensive posture and a pleasing grin are contraindicated. The giraffe would interpret these conspicuous adaptations as a weakness and take advantage of them. Should you act diplomatically and relationship-neutral? Yes! But never servile, pleasing, and submissive! This is the motto when dealing with bosses or people in higher positions with a giraffe personality. A professional manner is a suitable means of dealing with higher-level giraffe types. Because the giraffe uses her elbows and likes to display her neurotic fear, she first tries to bring the confrontation with equals to a professional level. Thus, she tests the terrain and tries to find out the weak <?page no="143"?> 144 Type of person points or weaknesses of a colleague or opponent. Her intention is to reveal them when a good opportunity presents itself. It is important for the giraffe to constantly demonstrate her superiority to all persons, even if this does not bring her any specific profit. It is in the nature of the giraffe to humiliate people and to distinguish herself. As the contact person for such a person, it is wise to accept this game without questioning one’s own competence by giving daring answers. The interlocutor can react to certain provocative and cynical remarks with humour and still remain confident. Then the damage is limited. An arrogant attitude can be a sign of insecurity Before a negotiation, the interdependence of the parties involved should be thoroughly analysed. Even if the giraffe tries to act as a powerful competitor, this appearance should not be overestimated. It may well be a sign of uncertainty or weakness in negotiations, which the giraffe wants to hide. In business and politics, it often happens that the supposedly weaker negotiator - depending on the situation - has greater power than the size of his company or party allows him. More important than the size of the organization is its interdependence. Especially the smaller partner has to balance his negotiating weight according to the situation in order to gain respect and importance. A decisive factor in bargaining power is the possession of a unique selling point (USP) 14 . If a supplier does not offer an important distinguishing element - for the buyer - the negotiation focuses primarily on the price. Especially in such situations, the buyers behave like arrogant giraffes who think that they alone can decide on the course of business. If the supplier is not able to fulfill the price conditions of the powerful buyer, he has no chance of a fair deal. Nolens volens, this supplier will have to play the role of an intimidated lamb without any bargaining power. The buyer enjoys his advantageous situation and can - but not necessarily needs to - assume the role of an arrogant giraffe. <?page no="144"?> Giraffe 145 Offering benefits to negotiating partners A thorough analysis of the buyer’s needs can provide strong sales arguments that can be used in a situational and determined manner during negotiations. If there is a kind of quid pro quo in a negotiation (I give you what you want, you give me what I want, i.e. return service), even the opponent with the allegedly stronger negotiating power does not necessarily behave like a tyrannical giraffe. If the seller wants to be perceived as an equal negotiating partner, he has to emphasize the advantages and benefits of the buyer. The negotiation inevitably becomes more specific and interesting because the buyer gets his own benefit. Irrespective of the company size of both counterparties, the buyer automatically becomes more objective and business-oriented in this situation, which is of interest to him. The focus is therefore primarily on business and less on dominant display. Her giraffe behaviour loses its significance and legitimacy in favour of an objective and profitable horse behaviour. In order to better understand the relationship between the giraffe (chief physician) and the dog (ward nurse), an authentic case is described. Excursus 6 | Vertical Communication and Cooperation in a Clinic A tall, handsome and above all famous chief physician and professor of a renowned clinic behaves like a typical giraffe, with all the peculiarities that go with it. Arrogance is written all over his face. He loves aesthetics and cultivates a distinguished, personal contact with private patients and important personalities from business and politics. In some of his unpleasant sessions at the clinic, he forgets to take off his fashionable and obviously autographed sunglasses “purely by chance”. The employees smile and suspect that this diva-like behaviour points to many peculiarities of their boss. <?page no="145"?> 146 Type of person A determined, strong, and physically very robust station nurse, who usually does not mince her words, has been working for years on the station led by the giraffe. The relationship between her and the chief physician is tense. The boss deliberately keeps the professionally competent ward nurse at a distance. Under all circumstances, he wants to prevent her from getting too close to him physically. He seems to want to protect himself from her. The chemistry between the two is not right at all. There is a tangible mutual antipathy. The ward nurse seems to have discovered and correctly deciphered some 'complexes' of her chief physician. For this reason, this resolute and direct nurse does not appreciate the stuckup chief physician very much. The bad relationship between boss (giraffe) and subordinate (dog) becomes a burden for all ward members, including the chief physician. The working atmosphere is not good at all. If the giraffe - as usual - is late for a session, the temperature suddenly drops a few degrees. The participants seem paralyzed. During a tricky conversation between the station staff during one of their routine sessions, the nurse loses her composure and criticises the chief physician explicitly for his 'giraffe' behaviour in the presence of some doctors, interns, and nurses. She embarrasses him and attacks his proud ego. This is probably one of her biggest mistakes in her career. The chief physician reacts vehemently with typical giraffe behaviour. He immediately calls the ward nurse into his office. Although the conversation takes place in private, it is easy to imagine how violent and harsh his reaction was. After the meeting, this capable, experienced, and reliable employee has to draw the consequences. She has to pay a high price for her 'undiplomatic' and harsh criticism of her boss in front of an assembled team. She is transferred to another station. Conclusion This event is by no means an individual case. Dealing with such types of people is difficult per se. Subordinates should not necessarily challenge giraffes by making inappropriate comments, because the reaction of an executive can be incalculable and can also have a dan- <?page no="146"?> Giraffe 147 gerous effect on employees. This is a special appeal, mainly to female experts who have discovered real or imaginary weaknesses of giraffes in leadership positions and openly comment on them. Such behaviour is usually counterproductive and contraindicated. A similar constellation of these character traits is less complicated and more relaxed among colleagues, i.e. on a horizontal level. Here the giraffe cannot demonstrate and exercise her decision-making power arbitrarily because in this case, the argument takes place among equals. The giraffe has limited leeway. Like all other colleagues, the giraffe has to adapt and subordinate herself. You should pay attention to giraffes! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with giraffes » Professional behaviour » Separate person from content both in business and in private life » Do not produce open confrontation » No servile posture » No insecurity » Confident appearance » Do not ignore the giraffe » Make eye contact, but do not look threatening » Confident and effortless appearance » Asymmetric posture » Respect physical distance » Ignore provocations » Convincing and persuasive argumentation » Replace the personal pronoun I with we or it » Express objective criticism diplomatically » Empathy <?page no="147"?> 148 Type of person » Listen attentively » Argue objectively » Use appropriate language, selected terminology » Communicate at eye level » Be well-prepared » Eloquently present counterarguments » Avoid lies » Ignore possible weaknesses of giraffes » Never embarrass the giraffe, danger of losing face » Express sincere appreciation » Mention your performance and merits » No flattery » Show correctness » Try to react ad hoc like the fox, try to impress with your arguments » Motivate the giraffe by: asking for demanding prestigious jobs, ambitious projects, good career opportunities, highprofile activities. Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with giraffes » Symmetrical, giraffic posture » Showing arrogance » Verbally and nonverbally ignoring the giraffe » Not recognising your status and hierarchy » Not considering the interests of the giraffe » Listening selectively » Insecure behaviour (lamb or hedgehog behaviour) » Showing buddy behaviour » Exceeding physical distance » Open confrontation » Provoking the giraffe and letting yourself be provoked <?page no="148"?> Giraffe 149 » Inappropriate language » Arguing sarcastically » Interpreting the giraffe’s objective criticism as a personal attack » Reacting emotionally or like a diva » Open attack (dog behaviour) » Showing her your real or imaginary weaknesses » Embarrassing or humiliating the giraffe until she loses her face » Arguing objectively » Obedient or aggressive behaviour » Being unprepared » Long-winded behaviour (wide-mouthed frog) » Lying » Acting unprofessionally <?page no="150"?> Type of person »fox« - clever strategist predominant characteristics: smart, listens well, eloquent, challenges people What you should know about foxes! The red fox (vulpes vulpes) is the only Central European representative of the fox and is therefore mostly called “the fox”. According to Sven Herzog 15 , the strength of a fox is its great adaptability. The fox is a generalist; it has not specialized in a special way of life or food but can adapt flexibly to many life circumstances. Intelligence is a key characteristic. The fox has learned to outwit lemmings in the Siberian tundra, to steal chickens from humans in North Africa, to cross the streets safely in the big cities. In densely populated residential areas, it has cleverly tapped a wide variety of food sources - from mice to garbage bags. The fox has other interesting characteristics » The fox type is an intelligent, educated, clever and, depending on the situation, even deceitful person. <?page no="151"?> 152 Type of person » His attentive and lively eyes, the ironic facial expression, his perfidious smile and the always pointed ears are typical characteristics of clever people. » Thanks to their eloquence and professional competence, foxes like to distinguish themselves. » They argue logically and objectively. They defend their theses with facts, figures and concrete evidence. In verbal disputes they listen attentively and react ad hoc with thoughtful remarks and counterarguments. Especially clever foxes love to challenge opinions and evidence of the opposite side by using a brilliant trick, namely the Retorsio argumenti. Facts ∣ Retorsio argumenti Retorsio argumenti after A. Schopenhauer: “if the argument he wants to use for himself can be better used against him”; e.g. he says: “He is a child, you must make allowance for him”: retorsio “Just because he is a child, I must correct him; otherwise he will persist in his bad habits.” They have specialized in the targeted application of Retorsio argumenti by disproving the supposedly strong arguments of the opposite side. The Retorsio argumentum does not serve to justify certain statements directly, but to refute certain assertions of the opposite side or to refute their reasons. This happens especially in controversial discussions, disputes, and fierce debates. Shrewd people tend to enjoy outsmarting conference participants, negotiating partners, work colleagues and counterparts. They simply want to be recognized and perceived as smart foxes and ultimately winners. <?page no="152"?> Fox 153 With knowledge and eloquence smart foxes love to trick the other side As interrogators, they mainly want to test the knowledge of the other side. Most foxes already know the answer. Their questions are not always explicit and clear, but often ambiguous and complicated. Sometimes they even pretend to be technically incompetent. Depending on the situation and intention, this tactic can have a perfidious background. The goal is already clear. They want to trick or possibly embarrass the interviewee. Once they have achieved their purpose, they withdraw from the discussion for a while. You can often find foxes among academics, scientists, professors, politicians, journalists, or lawyers, etc. They carry out activities in which education and eloquence play a central role. They are talented speakers who have deepened and refined their rhetorical skills. The art of rhetoric is not exclusively the domain of educated people. There are also eloquent people who do not have high academic qualifications, just as there are highly educated people who are by no means eloquent. Foxes are extremely clever and always well-prepared. Nowadays, smart foxes are getting more and more competition from other animals that are not necessarily the smartest. The easy and fast access to important and current information is used by more and more people. <?page no="153"?> 154 Type of person The Google patient as a pseudo-fox This is particularly evident in the encounter between doctor and patient. Physicians possess the knowledge; patients possess information and superficial knowledge. In a conversation between clever experts - specialists - and more or less well-informed non-medical specialists - patients - contrasting opinions can clash and technical disputes can arise. The expert (fox) can no longer simply say something as he did years ago; he is forced to argue. He must also be up to date. Because the modern Google patient is informed, asks specific questions, and expects a quick and precise answer. Another example: Even before meeting with his private-banking advisor, the bank client can obtain information from the internet. With more information and knowledge, he feels more secure and strong enough to talk to his banker at eye level. In some cases, the client even takes over the conversation. He wants to appear like a well-informed fox and be treated appropriately. The banking expert feels challenged. A conflict between the pseudo-fox (client) and the true fox (banker) cannot be excluded. If the bank advisor remains specific and factual, the danger of an emotional confrontation is averted. If he feels attacked in his area of competence, the conversation becomes too personal and emotional. Basically, the clever and ironic fox loves to mentally stimulate or even trick the other side. But he does not want to humiliate them, because the arguments usually take place on a high spiritual level. The rational, rather than the emotional component is addressed. Nevertheless, the opponents of the fox often lose their faces. Their emotional reaction can fuel the dispute. <?page no="154"?> Fox 155 When two foxes discuss and negotiate Thanks to their linguistic qualities, foxes are said to be excellent negotiators . They are often used for complicated international transactions and difficult business negotiations. Discussions, workshops, and negotiations between two foxes are extremely interesting. Rhetorical refinements, ambivalent questions, suitable quotations from well-known personalities, brilliant language, eloquent idioms, humorous, ironic remarks, and ad hoc reactions with strong and valid arguments dominate the discussion. Both pull out all the linguistic stops at their disposal to come out of the debate as a winner. In today’s society, there are numerous foxes in leadership positions in all areas of organization. Foxes like to take on the role of a leader. They possess the necessary attributes of a capable leader . Intellectually, they act as role models for their employees. This has a positive effect on their motivation. Foxes set high standards for themselves, and thus also for others. As managers, they dictate the pace Foxes clearly favour the so-called pace-setting leadership style 16 (pacemaker leadership style). Goleman believes that the effectiveness of certain leadership models correlates closely with the specific context. The pace-setting leadership style is suitable and effective for highly motivated and highly qualified employees. In this case, the leader can easily pass on high expectations and urgent tasks to the workforce. Due to the high motivation of the people involved, it is also possible to set high, demanding and future-oriented goals. This is a further motivation incentive for the employees. However, the demanding fox must not constantly measure the workforce by his personal, very high level of performance . In the long run, this can be stressful and even demotivating for the employees. By definition, the pace-setting leadership style sets high standards for leaders and employees. The leader sets the pace (hence the term pacemaker). Because of the high standards and demands, many employees are unable to maintain the pace and standards. Leaders are <?page no="155"?> 156 Type of person therefore often forced to carry out certain activities and tasks themselves. Foxes tend to raise the bar higher and higher. In particular, less efficient employees cannot keep up. It must be emphasized that not all foxes want to attack, expose or destroy the other side. Which strategy they prefer depends on their intentions and the context. Having a fox as a permanent antagonist should be avoided if possible. In the long run a dispute with a fox can be tedious, stressful, and exhausting. Overview ∣ Predominant characteristics of the fox » Intelligent, smart, clever » Educated, brilliant » Excellent preparation, competent » Loves logic, method, and structure » Detail fetishist, full of tricks » Listens carefully » Can be empathic » Ambitious » Eloquent, rhetorically versed » Convincing and persuasive » Impatient » Intolerant of frogs (considered as chatterer), hippos (passive) and monkeys (considered as superficial and incompetent) » Can be sarcastic » Merciless » Clever eye, perfidious smile » Always up-to-date » Writes down and asks questions » Challenges people <?page no="156"?> Fox 157 » Feared by speakers and opponents » Likes to show his knowledge, enjoys his wisdom » Seeks intellectual recognition » Always wants to win » Expects competent contact persons The body language of the fox In a small group it is quite easy to visually identify a fox. The attentive and alert eyes, the direct look, accompanied by an indefinable smile, are typical nonverbal characteristics of a fox. As a listener, he intensively looks at the speaker or co-worker and listens attentively. The fox always stays focused. He takes note without interrupting visual contact with the speaker. You should know that! »During boring and superficial monologues, foxes quickly lose interest. In these cases, they get nervous, avoid eye contact, and occupy themselves with other things. Their displeasure is first expressed nonverbally, for example by drumming with their fingers on the table, looking at surrounding objects, playing with electronic devices. As a last resort, they withdraw and leave the meeting room. Not to be excluded are unpleasant interruptions for the speaker and opponent, i.e. verbal attacks, accompanied by sharp and penetrating criticism.« The speaker should never lose sight of the fox once discovered in the auditorium or meeting room. Such people should never be ignored during a presentation or discussion. A fox that does not feel sufficiently acknowledged can take revenge in the discussion by asking unpleasant questions. <?page no="157"?> 158 Type of person Male vs. female behavior Because the fox primarily communicates with facial expressions and less with his whole body, there are hardly any significant gender differences that can be observed. Both sexes use subtle and ambivalent nonverbal, paraverbal and verbal signals. Only in the rare Ultima Ratio behaviour described above can male foxes react louder and more impetuously than their female counterparts. At high management levels, the classic gender-specific differences are less pronounced. Overview ∣ Male and female foxes Male Female Optical contact evident Optical contact more subtle Mimic signals quite obvious Mimic signals ambivalent Clever look obvious Clever look more discreet Attention signals interest in the speaker and topic Impatient Clearly expresses his disinterest in the subject or person Expresses her disinterest in the subject or person Perfidious smile Takes notes Eloquent Dealing with the human type fox In lectures and presentations in front of a manageable number of listeners, the speaker should already determine the possible presence of a fox at the beginning of his speech. If the speaker knows the composition of the audience, the search for foxes is relatively easy. <?page no="158"?> Fox 159 If, on the other hand, he is confronted with an audience unknown to him, the search is a tedious undertaking. Nevertheless, an accurate observation of individual persons is advisable. In a room foxes like to sit in the front row. This makes it easier to make visual contact. In this way, the mimic origin of the fox-typical characteristics can be perceived. The alert, attentive, direct gaze and the wide-open eyes are important indicators and should be registered by the speaker. If the fox keeps this physical posture for a while, it is a sign of his attention and interest in the speaker and the subject. If the fox pulls his eyebrows together more often and looks directly at the speaker, this is a critical signal. In this case, he does not seem to be entirely convinced of the content or of the speaker. If he shows his perfidious smile and takes notes at the same time, one can very probably assume that he has taken notes of something important. He will bring this up in the discussion and possibly formulate it as a tricky question. From now on, the speaker must remember his sentences and assertions carefully, so he can arm himself for a possible discussion. The fox often sits with his upper body bent forward. This attitude can be an indicator for his curiosity, his interest. In this case the speaker can continue as before without any problems. If the fox throws an object (pen, glasses, notebook, etc.) on the table and withdraws abruptly, this is to be evaluated in most cases as rejection or disinterest. Here the speaker should become attentive and adjust his argumentative approach. Interpret nonverbal communication according to situation Because foxes in the wild sometimes feign death in order to attract prey, which they then catch at the right moment, a clear and unambiguous interpretation of their body language is quite difficult. The human fox can behave in a similarly ambivalent way. The alleged lack of interest in a conference topic could possibly be a trap for the speaker. A constant, meticulous observation of his nonverbal language is essential, regardless of whether the fox is a known person or not. <?page no="159"?> 160 Type of person Active listening is fundamental In addition to visual communication, active listening is of utmost importance in dealing with such a type of person. His famous eloquence, his feared and unpredictable refinement regarding the question - his intentions can hardly be seen through - make a discussion difficult. If the question is ambiguous and tricky, the opponent should never make the mistake of answering it spontaneously. In order to gain valuable time and more clarity, he could try to rephrase the diffuse question of the fox and wait for his reaction. In this way, he gains time to think about a plausible answer. It must be avoided, however, to embarrass the fox because of his - mostly intentional - ambiguity or to answer him imprecisely. If, on the other hand, the question is clearly and unambiguously formulated, but the opponent does not have a suitable answer, he should not invent any abstruse arguments or - even worse - lie. Speakers must not lose their credibility under any circumstances; that would damage their reputation. The fox would call the speaker an incompetent liar and technically incompetent person. It is better to admit one’s own ignorance than to give a wrong answer. If the fox is known to the speaker, then he could point out the undeniable expert knowledge of the fox and - if possible - ask the fox to comment on this and to make his valuable knowledge available. Foxes learn quickly, grasp important connections, and can then translate their knowledge into sophisticated strategies which ensure their survival in unfavourable situations. If you have a fox as your colleague, you should not ignore or question his competence and his great knowledge. This would be the beginning of a long and exhausting verbal dispute. With the greatest certainty, the fox will emerge as the winner. <?page no="160"?> Fox 161 You should know that! »It is wiser to win over the fox as an important and valuable ally than to have him as a dangerous enemy. It is pretty easy to motivate the fox colleague or employee for a particular project. One should always treat him as an expert and engage him for intelligent solutions to difficult situations. Thanks to his logical thinking, his structured approach, and his ingenious thought pattern, he is almost always able to master challenging tasks well. In addition, he does not shy away from intellectually demanding confrontations, neither with his friend nor with his opponent, neither with colleagues nor with superiors. For him, challenges are always an attractive affair and a welcome incentive for his great ego.« You can work well with foxes When solving complex issues, the cooperation with a fox and his active assistance is indispensable. Especially in such cases, a highly motivated and competent fox makes his knowledge and skills available to the entire team. Everyone can profit from him. At the same time, he can distinguish himself and demonstrate his skills to everyone. That is basically his primary goal. As soon as his task is done, he should receive the recognition he deserves for his performance. His enormous knowledge potential and eloquence must be used at all costs. But he should neither take over a too dominant function nor the absolute control over a situation. Two foxes with different opinions, a difficult situation The fox is always well-prepared. If two foxes, who do not like each other and have diverging opinions, meet, a permanent verbal exchange on a high intellectual level has to be expected. In these situations, their aim is to demonstrate intelligent and argumentative superiority to the antagonist. Energy, time, and mental resources would be used more for the mutual battle of words and less for the actual task and teamwork. This would be a harmful situation for <?page no="161"?> 162 Type of person colleagues and the whole team, which should be quickly interrupted by a superior. The decisive intervention of the chief must separate these two rival fine spirits and bring them to their senses. Carefully prepare talks and negotiations with foxes For a conversation or negotiation with a fox an accurate preparation is highly recommended. There is nothing worse than a suboptimal encounter with a fox. It is also advisable to have experts present to intervene with strong arguments and to take on a decisive supporting role. How to demotivate foxes Easy tasks, routine jobs as well as low demanding, boring and monotonous activities are demotivating and frustrating for the fox. These duties are not suitable for these people. They can be done by other team members. Dealing with the human type combination fox-dog The fox-dog type is a fairly common combination. He joins qualities such as intelligence, esprit, wit, eloquence, cleverness with strength, assertiveness, dominance, aggressiveness, and initiative. These characteristics are common, especially in highly controversial topics and debates. The mixture fox-dog - with a fox-predominance - reduces the danger of emotional or even impulsive behaviour. The strong fox component is always noticeable. However, he benefits from the dog’s initiative and assertiveness. Fox attitude with dominance When dealing with such an opponent, the presence of a professionally competent fox is recommended, because he likes to talk and nego- <?page no="162"?> Fox 163 tiate with equal antagonists. You will then feel taken seriously and challenged. If, however, a fox has a noticeable tendency to dominance - conspicuous dog attitude - the intellectual abilities of the interlocutor may no longer be sufficient for the discussion. In addition to intelligence, the interlocutor now needs a fighting spirit and a thick skin. In such a constellation, an asymmetry of behaviour between the opponents arises. Such an encounter can become difficult, if the rivals stand on the same hierarchical level, and none of them possesses the necessary authority to speak a word of power and to terminate the discussion. In this case, you need a decision-maker who has the last word and unconditionally puts an end to the debate. If, on the other hand, there is a clear hierarchy between the fox-dog opponents, the problem can be solved. The hierarchical subordinate must inevitably adapt. Because of the frequent presence of the fox-dog combination in professional life, this species is of great importance. Excursus 7 | A professor with fox-dog qualities tries to deal with his students (vertical communication) A successful, hard-working young management consultant with a doctorate and many years of international experience has decided to pursue an academic career at the age of 33. He immediately received a professorship in business administration at his former, renowned university. This dynamic professor has an extraordinary understanding and is remarkably proactive. With astonishing ease and rapidity, he also understands the complex interrelationships of different areas. His hyperactivity - an attribute of the monkey - and his outstanding speed in thinking, talking, and acting are also remarkable. This great gift does not always go down well with international students in particular. For many learners, the professor simply talks too quickly. Due to his great eloquence, his thoughts, discourses, and well- <?page no="163"?> 164 Type of person attended lectures are peppered with anecdotes, selected terminology and interesting professional aspects. Numerous listeners find it difficult to follow him. Only the brighter ones feel comfortable with him. However, his special intellectual qualities sometimes limit empathy, which plays a central role in lectures, seminars, presentations, and events. Because the professor hardly knows any intellectual obstacles, it is not easy for him to put himself in the position of the supposedly “weaker” listeners. The intellectual level is very high, and the tangible dog component of the young professor increases his heated impulsiveness. The reserved and insecure students are afraid to ask him questions. So, most of them hardly dare to ask even the simplest comprehension questions. Some of them simply fall by the wayside. However, the best students are enthusiastic about him. The professor sets high standards for himself and for his students. He dictates the pace (pace-setting leadership style). Conclusion Intelligence, esprit, initiative, profound professional knowledge, assertiveness, and diligence are necessary conditions for such a profession. Unfortunately, this exceptional lecturer cannot ideally convey his enormous amount of knowledge. Even luminaries with fox-dog characteristics like this professor need a little more patience and empathy, especially when it comes to the broad masses. Excursus 8 | A professor with fox-dog qualities tries to deal with his colleagues (horizontal communication) The communicative approach of this energetic professor with his colleagues is by no means easy and smooth. This is not only due to his great drive for initiative, but also his direct and harsh way of dealing with issues in a goal-oriented and speedy manner. As a person in a leadership position with a drive to always find solutions, he takes no - or too little - consideration of the hierarchy, status and <?page no="164"?> Fox 165 personal sensitivities of those involved. In meetings, where controversial discussions often take place, his fox and dog character traits quickly come to the fore. As an impatient fox he has his problems in dealing with talkative wide-mouthed frogs, hyperactive monkeys and even more with lethargic hippopotamuses. He reacts irritably and quickly becomes aggressive. During irrelevant, lengthy discussions without substance he becomes intolerant. However, the dog in him quickly silences talkative colleagues. Some of them even withdraw themselves at the end of the meeting. The strong dog component (no predominance) leaves little or no room for diplomacy, sensitivity, and empathy. If one day the professor strives for ambitious positions within the university, he is dependent on the support of his colleagues and scientific staff. His polarizing nature and his always present aversion to unstructured and exhausting discourses could be his downfall. More problematic, however, is his way of dealing with giraffes. Professors have a striking predisposition to the classical diva. Aspiring giraffes can hardly be influenced, not even by capable and diligent colleagues with strong personalities. Even in arguments with Primi inter Pares they like to show their arrogant side, also in discussions with equals and even more so with subordinates. Our professor does not pay attention to these sensitivities and displays his well-conceived point of view (fox), which he vehemently defends with his dentes canini (canines) (dog). Above all, if he is convinced of his opinion, he sticks to it, irrelevant of the human types present, the general goals, and the context of the discussion. He looks for reasons, scientific proof, and evidence. He rejects the attempts of resistance of his colleagues regardless of the consequences. If his counterparts do not provide valid counterarguments, he becomes even more impulsive, impatient, and irritable. With this approach, he even risks that the discussion might be broken off. Conclusion In principle, the presence of a professionally competent fox-dog is absolutely necessary, especially in difficult negotiations, change pro- <?page no="165"?> 166 Type of person cesses, when solving complex issues and making unpopular decisions. The biggest obstacles are the specific characteristics of such a type of person. Despite intelligent suggestions, strategic farsightedness, great initiative and extraordinary work intensity, the energetic professor was hardly able to assert himself when dealing with giraffes, frogs and dogs. Some decision-making committees strictly rejected his ideas, primarily because of his uncompromising and harsh approach. To stay calm, some colleagues preferred mediocrity over subtlety. His well-developed concepts were often hanging in the balance, and his abilities unfortunately were not adequately used. In the medium and long term, such a renowned university could not (and cannot) do without such a capable professor. Thus, he received valuable support from a friendly professor with complementary qualities (fox-horse). He took the lead during emotional debates. He represented the same ideas and opinions as his fox-dog colleague. Thanks to his effortless and above all hardly confrontational attitude, he was able to establish a personal relationship with their opponents, which was important for the purpose, and to lead the discussions in an objective direction. This shows once again that a proposal, however good it may be, is not only accepted or rejected because of its validity. Emotions can be vital for the acceptance of a proposal, especially for strongly polarising fox-dog decision-makers. The support or rejection of an idea also depends on the degree of sympathy for a colleague. A clever combination of different characters can be an important factor when making decisions. Dealing with the combination dog-fox The mixture dog-fox is not only a hard and aggressive, but inevitably also a clever and eloquent human type. In case of divergences of opinion, the art of rhetoric is accompanied by strong and assertive behaviour. In addition to plausible arguments, teeth are shown, the <?page no="166"?> Fox 167 voice becomes louder, more decisive, and more aggressive in stressful situations. When a situation escalates, the aggressive and combative nature of the dog can superimpose the effortless attitude, subtle logic, and objective arguments of the fox. The balance of the characteristics of both types is disturbed; harshness prevails at the expense of the content-oriented argument. Two people of this type do not get along well When two opponents with these character traits meet and represent different opinions and positions, communication develops into an open confrontation at a high intellectual level on the one hand and an emotional, loud, and aggressive open battle on the other. It is difficult to predict which component (intellect vs. vitality) will ultimately prevail. On their own, they are unlikely to master the situation. An opponent with these mixing qualities is generally more difficult, more tedious, and more persistent than a purebred dog. In this case, intelligence and fighting spirit appear simultaneously or gradually. Dealing with the combination dog-fox-giraffe The dog-fox-giraffe mixture is probably one of the most challenging combinations . In addition to the finesse of the fox and the assertiveness of the dog, we have the arrogance and vanity of a giraffe. Depending on the situation, such a person can activate all three traits. During highly controversial arguments and negotiations, this person can use his assertiveness to impress the opponent. But he can also be objective, clever, eloquent, and deceitful. Still, this type of person also has the possibility to activate typical giraffe characteristics. This not only depends on the context, but primarily on his general goals in the discussion. The choice of a certain behaviour correlates closely with the behavior and goals of the other side. <?page no="167"?> 168 Type of person Such a difficult opponent, who changes his behaviour like a chameleon switches colour, can react ad hoc to the situation without adapting too much. Here, intelligence, fighting spirit and arrogance come together simultaneously or gradually. This combination can insult and humiliate the opponent. It will probably be less dominant, but certainly more subtle and clearly more social. Also, just like with the combination dog-fox, hierarchy can be the most important factor. If this constellation does not exist, the involvement of a third party from a higher position or at least with an entitlement of making decision is recommended. You should pay attention to foxes! Overview ∣ You should consider when dealing with foxes » First, look for the fox » Find him quickly, make visual contact » Observe gestures and especially facial expressions thoroughly » No arrogant behaviour or inferiority complex » Show confidence and professionalism » Argue at eye level » Strive for a high intellectual level » No unnecessary emotions and provocations » Accept intellectual confrontation » Wit and humour are indicated » Apply fox behaviour » Use fox knowledge, emphasize his knowledge » No inaccuracies and risky experiments » Admit your own ignorance, never lie, never invent something » Answer intelligently <?page no="168"?> Fox 169 » Avoid the fox as your permanent antagonist (opponent) » Forge an alliance with him or the foxes present » Be well-prepared » Appropriate language, accurate choice of technical terminology » Set priorities for statements » Convincing arguments, persuasive communication » Scientific foundation, equal expert » Details, evidence, sources, suitable quotes » Counterarguments » Pull out all rhetorical stops » Focus on content » Keep up with his pace » Motivation: very demanding, challenging, and prestigious activities; tasks and projects that require profound knowledge; expert role, problem solving, innovation, no routine, career; wide scope for decision-making Checklist ∣ Mistakes you should avoid with foxes » No visual communication » Ignoring the fox » Not perceiving nonverbal signals » Verbal Exclusion » Arrogant (giraffe), aggressive (dog), insecure (lamb), disorganized (monkey), passive (hippo) behavior » Feeling intellectually inferior » Not behaving like a fox » Showing that you are intellectually overloaded by the fox » Unprofessional behaviour » Suboptimal preparation » Unnecessary and harmful provocations <?page no="169"?> 170 Type of person » Inappropriate language, inaccurate terms » No wit, no humor » Vague answers, making up solutions » Permanent opponent, making no alliances with foxes or (horses) » No convincing arguments, no persuasion » No empathy » Fear of intellectual debates <?page no="170"?> Conclusion The primary purpose of this reading is to design an appropriate approach to different types of people in order to optimise communication and cooperation with them. An empathic approach is a suitable tool to better understand the contact person and their behaviour and to act accordingly. This facilitates interpersonal communication enormously. Very probably the reader found certain character traits in the presented animal types that resembled him or her. Which animal type might be closest to you as an individual is a good start to approach interpersonal communication. It is even more important to know which animal type represents the greatest challenge for you. These findings enable the targeted use of verbal, paraverbal and nonverbal means of communication that facilitate the handling of different (difficult) types of people. The animal metaphors used in this book are intended to visualize abstract character traits and are free of personal preferences. The human-animal comparison should not be interpreted as a disparagement or glorification of certain persons and animals. However, I am sure that the reader now got a memorable impression after this reading and can now describe some friends, colleagues, superiors, or customers by animal type characteristics. Dear reader, if the figurative human-animal combinations, including the communicative implications in daily life, are of little use to you, then I would like to apologize to you. <?page no="172"?> Remarks 1 Paul Watzlawick names the following basic rules (pragmatic axioms): One cannot not communicate. Every communication has a content aspect and a relationship aspect. Communication is always cause and effect. Human communication makes use of analogue and digital modalities. Communication is symmetric or complementary. Cf. Paul Watzlawick: Human Communication; Huber 2011 2 Friedemann Schultz von Thun: Miteinander reden 1. Störungen und Klärungen. Allgemeine Psychologie der zwischenmenschlichen Kommunikation; Rowohlt, 2013 3 Empathy is the ability and willingness to recognize and understand another person’s thoughts, emotions, motives, and personality traits. The basis of empathy is self-perception; the more open one is to one’s own emotions, the better one can interpret the feelings of others. 4 Samy Molcho: ABC of Body Language; Mosaik Verlag, 2006 5 Desmond Morris: Bodytalk. Body Language, Gestures and Gesticulations, Heyne, 1997 6 Michael Argyle: Body language and communication. The handbook on nonverbal communication; Junfermannsche Verlagsbuchhandlung, 2005 7 Daniel Goleman has been working in the fields of research for many years: Emotional intelligence, social intelligence, emotional leadership. See various works and publications. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ Kindle Edition, 2017 8 Stephen R. Covey: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 25 th Anniversary Edition, 2013 <?page no="173"?> 174 Remarks 9 Patricia Pitcher: Artists, Craftsmen and Technocrats: The Dreams, Realties and Illusions of Leadership, Klett-Cotta Verlag, 2007 10 Willem F.G. Mastenbroek: Negotiation. Strategy, Tactics and Technique, Frankfurter Allgemeine/ Galber 1992 and 2005 11 Roger Fisher, William Ury: Getting to Yes: Negotiating an agreement without giving in: The Secret to Successful Negotiation, 1997 and 2004 12 Manfred Spitzer: Digitale Demenz. Wie wir uns und unsere Kinder um den Verstand bringen, Droemer Verlag, 2012 13 CEO: Chief Executive Officer. MANAGEMENT, WORKPLACE abbreviation for Chief Executive Officer: the main person responsible for managing a company, who is sometimes also the company’s president or chairman of the board: Selling and Administrative units are headed-up by Senior Vice Presidents who report directly to the CEO. 14 According to the definition, the unique selling proposition (USP) in marketing and sales psychology is the outstanding performance feature that clearly sets an offer apart from that of other competitors. Synonym: veritable customer advantage (benefit) 15 Sven Herzog is a lecturer for wildlife ecology and hunting management at the Technical University of Dresden 16 By definition, the pace-setting leadership style sets high standards for leaders and employees. The leader sets the pace (hence the pacemaker). Because of the high standards and demands set, many employees are unable to maintain pace and standards. Leaders are therefore often forced to carry out certain activities and tasks themselves. <?page no="174"?> Bibliography Argyle, Michael: Bodily Communication, Routledge, 2013 Covey, Stephen, R.: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, Infographics Editions, 2017 Fisher, Roger; Ury, William; Patton, Bruce: Das Harvard-Konzept. Der Klassiker der Verhandlungstechnik: Campus Verlag Frankfurt/ New York, 2004 Goleman, Daniel: Emotional Intelligence, 24 th Edition, München: DTV Verlag, 2015 Klingberg, Torkel: Multitasking: Wie man die Informationsflut bewältigt, ohne den Verstand zu verlieren. 1. Auflage, München: C.H. Beck Verlag, 2008 Mastenbroeck, Willem F., G.: Verhandeln. Strategy, Tactic, Technique. Frankfurter Allgemeine: Gabler, 1992 and 2005 Molcho, Samy: Body Language of Success. Publishing House Ariston, 2005 Morris, Desmond: Bodytalk. Body Language, Gestures and Gesticulations, Wilhelm Heyne Verlag, München, 1995 Pitcher, Patricia: Artists, Craftsmen And Technocrats: The Dreams, Realities and Illusions of Leadership, Stoddart Pub, 1995 Schultz von Thun, Friedmann: Miteinander reden. Störungen und Klärungen. Allgemeine Psychologie der Kommunikation: RoRoRo Rowohlt, 2010 Spitzer, Manfred: Digitale Demenz. Wie wir uns und unsere Kinder um den Verstand bringen. 1. Auflage, München: Droemer, 2012 Watzlawick, Paul; Janet, Beavin Bavelas.; Donald, Jackson: Pragmatic of Human Communication, W.W. Norton & Company Inc., 2011 <?page no="175"?> ISBN 978-3-7398-3096-4 www.uvk.de Every person is unique! That is unquestionable. Nevertheless, you will find recurring character traits in your colleagues or neighbours that you have to deal with in your job and in everyday life. Just think of the tough dog from the executive floor, the clever fox from the controlling department or the grumpy hedgehog from the facility management. In this second, expanded edition, communications and negotiation expert Nello Gaspardo sketches nine di erent types by using animal metaphors. He points out their strengths and weaknesses and tells you exactly what you need to know when dealing with these people and how to interact with them correctly. New: The author also talks about type combinations. Examples illustrate character traits, helping you to better understand and assess the discussed types and combinations. The book is an indispensable guide for all those who want to achieve their goals quickly, both at work and in everyday life, by e ectively working with other people. Dr. Nello Gaspardo is a communications professional and negotiation expert. He taught rhetoric, international negotiation and leadership strategies at ESB Business School in Reutlingen. He now works as an international consultant and speaker.