<?page no="0"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Eudemiae libri decem Edited and Translated with an Introduction and Notes by Jennifer K. Nelson <?page no="1"?> Herausgegeben von Thomas Baier, Wolfgang Kofler, Eckard Lefèvre und Stefan Tilg 36 <?page no="2"?> Jennifer K. Nelson (ed.) Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Eudemiae libri decem Edited and Translated with an Introduction and Notes <?page no="3"?> Bibliografische Information der Deutschen Nationalbibliothek Die Deutsche Nationalbibliothek verzeichnet diese Publikation in der Deutschen Nationalbibliografie; detaillierte bibliografische Daten sind im Internet über http: / / dnb.dnb.de abrufbar. Gedruckt mit freundlicher Unterstützung der Librarians Association of the University of California. © 2021 · Narr Francke Attempto Verlag GmbH + Co. KG Dischingerweg 5 · D-72070 Tübingen Das Werk einschließlich aller seiner Teile ist urheberrechtlich geschützt. Jede Verwertung außerhalb der engen Grenzen des Urheberrechtsgesetzes ist ohne Zustimmung des Verlages unzulässig und strafbar. Das gilt insbesondere für Vervielfältigungen, Übersetzungen, Mikroverfilmungen und die Einspeicherung und Verarbeitung in elektronischen Systemen. Internet: www.narr.de eMail: info@narr.de CPI books GmbH, Leck ISSN 1615-7133 ISBN 978-3-8233-8430-4 (Print) ISBN 978-3-8233-9430-3 (ePDF) ISBN 978-3-8233-0264-3 (ePub) www.fsc.org MIX Papier aus verantwortungsvollen Quellen FSC ® C083411 ® <?page no="4"?> To my late mother Judith Nelson. You brought the Baroque to life and made it sing. <?page no="6"?> 7 Table of Contents List of Abbreviations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Gian Vittorio Rossi and Eudemia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 State of Scholarship on Eudemia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Life of Gian Vittorio Rossi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Gian Vittorio Rossi: vita . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Intellectual and Artistic Milieu of Seventeenth-Century Rome . . . . . . . . . 25 Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Eudemia and Other Published Works . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Keys to Accompany Eudemia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 Literary Models for Eudemia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Ancient Models . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Contemporary Models . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Translating Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Latin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Text of Eudemiae libri decem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Story Outline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Themes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 Eudemiae libri decem - Eudemia in Ten Books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Epistola dedicatoria - Dedicatory Letter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Lectori salutem - To the Reader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Argumentum - Plot Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 Liber I - Book One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80 Liber II - Book Two . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110 Liber III - Book Three . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 Liber IV - Book Four . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 192 Liber V - Book Five . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 240 Liber VI - Book Six . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 288 Liber VII - Book Seven . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 318 Liber VIII - Book Eight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 374 <?page no="7"?> 8 Table of Contents Liber IX - Book Nine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 418 Liber X - Book Ten . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 496 Appendix A: Key To the Pseudonyms in Eudemia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 591 Appendix B: Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Published Works . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 599 Bibliography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 603 Index nominum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 613 <?page no="8"?> 9 List of Abbreviations DBI Dizionario biografico degli Italiani. Treccani. www.treccani.it/ bio grafie/ Dialog. sept. Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogi septendecim. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645 Ep. ad div. 1 Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad diversos. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Ep. ad div. 2 Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolarum ad diversos volumen posterius. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Ep. ad Tyrr. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Eud. 1998 Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri decem. Retiarius: Archivum Recentioris Latinitatis. Modern & Classical Languages, Literatures & Cultures (University of Kentucky, Lexington), 1998. https: / / mcl. as.uky.edu/ liber-i L&S A Latin Dictionary. Rev. & ed. C. T. Lewis and C. Short. Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1879. OCD The Oxford Classical Dictionary, 4th edition. Edited by Esther Eidinow. Oxford University Press, 2012. Abbreviations for Classical texts follow the conventions of the Oxford Classical Dictionary, 4th edition. In the instances where a text is not in the OCD, the conventions of the Perseus Digital Library are followed. Citations to Classical texts follow the Loeb Classical Library editions from Harvard University Press, unless otherwise specified. <?page no="10"?> 11 Acknowledgments This translation of Eudemia began as my PhD thesis for the University of Florida Department of Classics. I thank the members of my dissertation committee for their guidance and support: Konstantinos Kapparis, Eleni Bozia, Jennifer A. Rea, and Mary A. Watt. It has been a deeply satisfying experience to combine my interests in Latin, Italian, Rome, and books. I thank Laurent Mayali, director of the Robbins Collection at the UC Berkeley School of Law, for his encouragement of my studies. Additionally, I would like to thank my professors at the University of Kentucky and UCLA for introducing me to the world of Neo-Latin: Michael J. B. Allen, Bernard Frischer, Carlo Ginzburg, Milena Minkova, Jane Phillips, Debora Shuger, Jennifer Morrish Tunberg, and Terence Tunberg. Additionally, I thank Peter James Dennistoun Bryant, Ingrid De Smet, Laura Foster, Riccardo Gandolfi, Luisella Giachino, Kathryn L. Jasper, Michal Lemberger, Daniel Stolzenberg, and Laura Whittemore for their enthusiasm, insights, and aid. Special thanks goes to Erin Blake for her keen eye and superlative formatting skills. I am grateful to the Walter de Gruyter Foundation for Scholarship and Research and the European Studies Section of the Association of College & Research Libraries for awarding me the European Librarianship Study Grant that enabled me to conduct research at the Vatican Library in Rome. My gratitude also goes to the Librarians Association of the University of California for their generous grant to cover supplemental publishing costs. I especially want to express my heartfelt and humble thanks to two pillars of Neo-Latin scholarship who read my drafts with care and offered invaluable edits and comments: Jeroen De Keyser and Mark T. Riley. Their generosity and kindness in lending their expertise, focus, and time to my translation was far more than I could have possibly expected. I would like to thank my parents: Alan H. Nelson, for instilling in me a love of Latin and books, and my late mother, Judith Anne Manes Nelson, for filling our home with music and languages. Finally, I express my gratitude to my husband, Oscar Luca D’Amore: Galeotto fu il Latino. <?page no="12"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi and Eudemia 13 Introduction Gian Vittorio Rossi and Eudemia Gian Vittorio Rossi had an ax to grind. His Eudemiae libri decem tells the story of Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus, who escape from Rome in the aftermath of the conspiracy of Sejanus and become shipwrecked on Eudemia, an island located off the coast of Mauritania. They are rescued by a fellow Roman named Gallonius, who becomes their guide. The two travelers discover a society of Latin speakers governed by a class of people called dynastae, administered by incompetent poliarchi (senators) and magistrates, where petty rivalries thrive, hard work and skill are trumped by personal relationships and favors, and where, as Luisella Giachino puts it, everything revolves around the “sinister omnipresence and omnipotence of money.” 1 Writing under the pseudonym Ianus Nicius Erythraeus, Rossi brought to bear his vast knowledge of ancient and contemporary authors, his acerbic wit, and his mastery of Latin to weave a tale that, despite its fictional time and place, is a mordant critique of his own society: Rome under the reign of Pope Urban VIII and the powerful Barberini family. It is clear both from his own writings and from contemporary assessments of his talent that Rossi was well read, witty, and, above all, an excellent Latinist. He was a member of the Accademia degli Umoristi, an influential literary academy that attracted intellectuals from all over Europe and was frequented by Rome’s high society, including Maffeo Barberini, later Pope Urban VIII. Rossi hoped that his education, skills, and connections would lead to a fruitful career in the Roman Curia, but this never came to fruition. After a life of professional frustration, Rossi retired to a private life of reading and writing. Among the literary products of his retirement years was Eudemia, described by Luigi Gerboni as a “venting of old grudges.” 2 Published first in 1637 in eight books, and then in 1645 in ten books, Eudemia falls squarely within what Jennifer Morrish calls the “golden age of the Neo-Latin novel.” 3 As Mark T. Riley 1 Giachino 2002: 199: “la sinistra onnipresenza e onnipotenza del denaro.” All translations are mine unless otherwise indicated. 2 Gerboni 1899: 108: “sfogo di vecchi rancori.” 3 Morrish 2003: 238. While Eudemia is frequently classified under the broad category of novel (IJsewijn 1995: 91; IJsewijn and Sacré 1998: 255; Giachino 2002: 187; Riley 2015: 196; Marsh 2015: 404), it is also described using various generic subcategories: satirical <?page no="13"?> 14 Introduction explains, examples of extended Latin prose fiction in the vein of Apuleius’s Metamorphoses or Petronius’s Satyricon were rare until the early seventeenth century, when John Barclay published Euphormionis lusinini satyricon (Parisiis: Huby, 1605). 4 Following Barclay’s satire, which, like Petronius’s Satyricon, was “full of lively incident and satirical descriptions of contemporary people and institutions,” 5 Rossi unleashed his arsenal of learning and wit against his contemporaries with full awareness of his ancient and modern generic predecessors. Eudemia is at once an entertaining tour de force of Classical erudition and an intimately personal introduction to his own circle. As Giachino explains, Eudemia’s plot is secondary to “what today we would call ‘gossip,’ the incessant and vicious scuttlebutt that animates and involves all of the characters.” 6 Rossi becomes our guide—our Gallonius—as he introduces us to his friends, lets us in on the debates of the day, and airs his grievances with a society that admired him but never completely embraced him. novel (Tilg 2017: 332); roman à clef (Drujon 1966: 1052-7; Gryphius 1710: 491-6; Kytzler 1982: 204; De Smet 1996: 76-7; Hofman 1999: 11); Menippean satire (De Smet 1996: 76; ibid. 2015: 204; IJsewijn 1988: 237; ibid. 1995: 91); and utopia (Tilg 2017: 332; De Smet 1996: 76; Kytzler 1982: 204; Gott and Begley 1902: 361). The utopian genre merits further comment. Whereas Thomas More’s 1516 Utopia narrates a voyage to an ideal land, the voyage narrated in Eudemia is from a corrupt land to an even more corrupt land, which is why Kytzler (1982: 204) places the work on the periphery of the utopian genre. This nonutopian aspect of Eudemia has often been misunderstood. According to Gerboni (1899: 133-4), both Gabriel Naudé and Burkhard Struve considered Eudemia a utopian novel. In his Bibliotheca philosophica Struve includes Rossi in a list of authors who described ideal states (1728: 291-2), and Gerboni cites a letter from Naudé to Rossi (Epistolae 1667: 699), in which the French humanist makes a direct comparison between Eudemia and More’s Utopia: “tuo forsan vel Mori suo exemplo ductus Eudemiam aliquam Utopiamve fingere voluit.” He also cites a passage from Naudé’s Additions et Corrections au Naudaeana et Patiniana (1703: 147) in which Naudé describes Eudemia as a “république bien policée”-(“a well-run state”). Additionally, in the bibliography following his translation of Samuel Gott’s Nova Solyma, Walter Begley (1902: 361) lists Eudemia under the category “Utopian Romance of an Ideal City or State.” 4 Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 3. For an overview of ancient prose fiction see Hägg 1983 and Hofman 1999. For an overview of early modern prose fiction (both in general and as it relates to Rossi’s literary models) see Fleming 1973: xiv-xxvi; IJsewijn and Sacré 1998: 74, 255-6; Morrish 2003: 237-48; Porter 2014; De Smet 2015: 199-214; Riley 2015: 183-97; Glomski and Moreau 2016; Marsh 2017: 308-21; Relihan 2017: 340-57; Tilg 2017: 322-39. 5 Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 3. 6 Giachino 2002: 199: “quello che oggi chiameremmo il ‘gossip,’ il martellante e vischioso pettegolezzo che anima e coinvolge tutti i personaggi.” <?page no="14"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi and Eudemia 15 State of Scholarship on Eudemia Gian Vittorio Rossi was a prolific writer who maintained an active correspondence with friends in high places, enjoyed a reputation as a superlative Latinist among his contemporaries, and remained famous in Northern Europe, particularly in Germany, for more than a century after his death. 7 In spite of this, however, he remains a largely unexplored figure in Italian literature. Luigi Gerboni, the nineteenth-century scholar who wrote the most extensive biography of Rossi, lamented that this Roman author had all but been ignored even by Italian scholars: “Our critical tradition has forgotten his [literary output], or rather, has never known about it” 8 ; likewise, Benedetto Croce remarked that, unfortunately, nobody showed any interest in Rossi. 9 The most recent and thorough analysis of Eudemia is Luisella Giachino’s 2002 article “Cicero libertinus: La satira della Roma barberiniana nell’Eudemia dell’Eritreo,” in which she offers a detailed summary of the work and discusses its major themes. Giachino also authored the entry for Rossi in the Dizionario Biografico degli Italiani. 10 Though literature specifically on Gian Vittorio Rossi and his works is slight, interest in Neo-Latin literature in general has happily been increasing. In the 1970s Jozef IJsewijn observed that, with regard to scholarly work on Neo-Latin authors of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, “almost everything remains to be done.” 11 Thirty years later, the scholarly status of Neo-Latin authors had not changed much when Jennifer Morrish remarked that they were “little known today and not much read” because, among other things, most of the texts are available only in their original Latin and do not exist in modern editions.” 12 More recently, there has been significant progress in creating new editions and translations of Neo-Latin texts, notably the I Tatti Renaissance Library (Harvard University Press), the Bibliotheca Latinitatis Novae Neo-Latin Texts and Translation series (Leuven University Press), the Bloomsbury Neo-Latin Series, and the present NeoLatina series (Tübingen: Narr-Verlag). New reference works such as Brill’s Encyclopedia of the Neo-Latin World, the Oxford Handbook of Neo-Latin, and the Guide to Neo-Latin Literature from Cambridge University Press have also brought ever greater scholarly attention to Neo-Latin literature. Despite this increased interest, Gian Vittorio Rossi has largely been ignored, his works usually mentioned only in passing as part of a larger list of Neo-Latin 7 Gerboni 1899: 2. 8 Ibid.: 2: “la critica nostra l’ha dimenticata, o meglio non l’ha mai conosciuta.” 9 Croce and Fabrizi 2003: 136: “ora nessuno lo cerca.” 10 DBI Volume 88 (2017): www.treccani.it/ enciclopedia/ gian-vittorio-rossi 11 IJsewijn 1976: 43. 12 Morrish 2003: 237. <?page no="15"?> 16 Introduction authors and texts. 13 Factors that have contributed to Rossi’s near obscurity include the fact that he was writing in Latin at a time when vernacular languages were ascending in Europe as the principal vehicle for literary expression and exchange of ideas; none of his work was ever translated for a broader reading public 14 ; and, in the case of Eudemia, readers over the centuries may have lost interest in the satire because it was too tied to Rossi’s own circle of acquaintances, thus, to quote Dustin Griffin, “los[ing] referential power over time.” 15 Rossi’s works deserve further scholarly attention both on their own merits and because they provide a window into the dynamic cultural period in which he lived. Rossi was an insider witness to seventeenth-century Rome, a period that could be characterized as, in the words of Jozef IJsewijn, a “thriving center of Latin literature on an international scale.” 16 His literary output was prolific and encompassed many genres, including letters, dialogues, orations, biographies, poetry, and, of course, fiction. Last but not least, his works are highly enjoyable to read because his personality—by turns witty, incisive, pious, and caustic—comes through on almost every page. Life of Gian Vittorio Rossi Gian Vittorio Rossi was born in 1577 in Rome to a family that he describes as noble but not wealthy: “The short answer is that I come from a good family and am descended from noble people of modest means.” 17 He had a younger brother, 13 IJsewijn mentions Eudemia briefly in the chapter on long novels in his Companion to Neo-Latin Studies, and in his article titled “Latin Literature in 17th-century Rome,” he discusses the author and his work within the artistic and intellectual milieu of Rome under the Urban VIII Barberini. The Oxford Handbook of Neo-Latin mentions Rossi a few times: in the chapters “Fiction” (Riley 196), “Satire” (De Smet 206), and “Italy” (Marsh 404). 14 Croce and Fabrizi 2003: 143. 15 Griffin 1994: 122. 16 IJsewijn 1995: 78. 17 Dialog. sept. XIII (Prefatory letter addressed to Vaius Vaius): “[P]otes … breviter respondere me esse bono genere ortum, bonis prognatum, modicis facultatibus” (see also Gerboni 1899: 7-8). The most thorough source of information on Rossi’s life and works is Gerboni’s 1899 Un umanista nel secento, Giano Nicio Eritreo. Gerboni draws his information primarily from Rossi’s published letters (Epistolae ad diversos, vols. 1 & 2 and Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum, vols. 1 & 2) as well as his book of dialogues (Dialogi septendecim), in particular the thirteenth dialogue, in which Rossi gives a first-person account of his life. In addition, a few vignettes in Eudemia are thought to be inspired by events in Rossi’s own life. Another source is Johann Christian Fischer’s “Vita Ioannis Victorii Roscii vulgo Iani Nicii Erythraei,” which he includes in his 1749 edition of Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum et ad diversos. <?page no="16"?> Life of Gian Vittorio Rossi 17 Andrea, and a younger sister whom he never mentions by name. 18 Rossi was educated at the Jesuit Collegio Romano, where he was a pupil of such teachers as Bernardino Stefonio and Francesco Benci, the latter a student of the French humanist Marc-Antoine Muret, one of the greatest Latinists of the Renaissance. When Rossi was seventeen years old his father died, and his family was placed in a precarious financial state exacerbated by his brother Andrea’s penchant for making bad business investments and defaulting on loans, which resulted in the loss of the family’s good name among creditors. 19 Finding himself, as the eldest son, in the position of head of household, Rossi studied law with the hope that this degree would lead to an administrative position within the papal court. He completed his degree in Roman and canon law in 1596 at the age of nineteen. Rossi’s professional future seemed bright at first when, upon finishing his legal studies, he caught the attention of an individual whom he does not name but describes as “the most learned and famous by far and occupying an important magisterial office”; and he was offered a position coveted by many young professionals “because it was honorable and well paid.” 20 Rossi held this post for little more than a year, when this patron died suddenly, leaving him without employment. He soon entered an apprenticeship in contract law under the renowned lawyer Lepido Piccolomini, but this mentor died after only a few years. 21 Following Piccolomini’s death, and after several attempts to enter into the service of one cardinal or another, 22 Rossi became generally disillusioned with the law. He withdrew to a house on the Janiculum Hill and devoted himself to humanistic studies. 23 In one of his autobiographical dialogues he explicitly expressed, in the persona of an interlocutor named Nicius, his preference 18 Gerboni 1899: 8. A handwritten preface to Rossi’s letters to Fabio Chigi (BAV Chig. A.III.56: 474r) reads: “Hebbe una sorella maritata in Siena a Germanico Tolomei” (“He had a sister who was married in Siena to Germanico Tolomei”). I was unable to find any corroborating information about this. 19 The last trace we have of Andrea is in Palermo in 1603-4, where he was in the service of the Cardinal of Monreale in Sicily (Gerboni 1899: 12). 20 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.II: “longe doctissimus atque clarissimus insigni magistratu praeditus”; “propter honorem atque utilitatem.” Rossi never provides this individual’s name. This and the other details of his early career that follow are described in his 1632 letter to Guilelmus Moonsius. 21 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.II; see also Gerboni 1899: 14. 22 Employment under Domenico Pinelli and Ludovico de Torres the younger (Archbishop of Monreale in Palermo) were two possibilities that never came to fruition (Gerboni 1899: 17). 23 This refuge from the city center would become a recurring image in his works. For example, a poem appended to a 1643 letter to Fabio Chigi (Ep. ad Tyrr. 1.XLIII) includes these lines: “Est mihi Ianiculi domus alto in vertice collis / Quamvis parva, tamen qua non formosior ulla” (“I have a house at the top of Janiculum Hill that, though small, is more beautiful than any other”). It seems that he rented this house from Bishop Giulio Sansedoni (Ep. ad. Tyrr. 1.XLIX). <?page no="17"?> 18 Introduction for ancient Roman authors over the jurists and Roman law glossators such as Accursius and Bartolus of Saxoferrato, whose writings would have been an integral part of his legal training: “I much preferred reading the works of Plautus, Terence, Cicero, and Caesar to those of Accursius, Bartolus, and authors of their ilk.” 24 During the early 1600s, when Rossi was turning away from the law to focus on the liberal arts, he began attending meetings of the Accademia degli Umoristi (Academia Humoristarum), a literary society frequented by the most celebrated authors, scholars, and artists in Rome. 25 The Academy originated as a loose association of writers, but it incorporated in 1608, at which point formal rules were established, 26 and an official emblem was adopted depicting the sun partially obscured by precipitating clouds, accompanied by the Lucretian motto “redit agmine dulci” ([the water] returns in a sweet stream”). 27 The Academy’s name stems from the main activity of its members, which was, at least initially, writing and performing comic plays in the style of ancient playwrights such as Plautus and Terence. Over time the Accademia degli Umoristi added more poetry and prose to their repertoire. The Academy boasted many well-known Italian poets as its Principe, or head, including Alessandro Tassoni (elected in 1606), 28 Giovanni Battista Guarini (elected in 1611), and Giambattista Marino (elected in 1623). Membership in the Accademia degli Umoristi was not limited to Rome’s elite; in fact, the rules stated that membership was open to any persons who were “considered worthy based on their nobility of blood, their superior literary abili- 24 Dialog. sept. XIII: “multoque libentius Plautum, Terentium, Ciceronem, Caesarem sumebam in manus quam Accursium, Bartolum ceterosque auctores.” 25 The origin story of the Accademia degli Umoristi is told more or less consistently in both contemporary and modern sources: In 1600, during the period of Carnival, a group of literary-minded friends of the nobleman Paolo Mancini gathered at Palazzo Mancini, his home located in the Via del Corso in Rome, on the occasion of his wedding to Vittoria Capozzi. They entertained themselves by improvising and reciting comedies, sonnets, and speeches on various diverting topics. The group decided to keep meeting every eight days to continue this literary activity, and they came to be known as the Belli Humori. When the group formally incorporated in 1608, they adopted the name Accademia degli Umoristi (Maylender and Rava 1976, vol. 5: 370-4; Russo 1979: 47-61; Alemanno 1995: 97-9). 26 The Academy’s rules are published in an appendix to Russo 1979: 58-61. Signatories to the rules (including Rossi) are listed in Maylender and Rava 1976, vol. 5: 375-80. 27 Lucr. 637-8. See also Gerboni 1899: 16; Maylender and Rava 1976, vol. 5: 375-80. 28 The Accademia degli Umoristi, along with many of its members who also appear in Rossi’s Pinacotheca and under pseudonyms in his Eudemia, are mentioned in Tassoni’s mock-epic poem La secchia rapita (XV.41): Gaspare Salviani, Paolo Mancini, Virginio Cesarini, Arrigo Falconio, Carlo Mazzei (also known as Carlo a Sant’Antonio di Padova), and Pietro Sforza Pallavicino. <?page no="18"?> Life of Gian Vittorio Rossi 19 ties, or … excellence in any respectable art form.” 29 That being said, from its very beginning the Academy did attract members of Rome’s most important families such as the Colonna and the Barberini. One of its most prominent members was that most famous Barberini, Maffeo—Jesuit educated and a recognized Neo-Latin poet—who in 1623 became Pope Urban VIII. Marc Fumaroli refers to Urban VIII as “Cicero pontifex maximus” (Pope Cicero), explaining that Neo-Latin literature experienced its second great Renaissance under his influence. 30 It was thanks to Urban VIII and the powerful Barberini family that the Accademia degli Umoristi, along with the scientific Accademia dei Lincei and the Jesuit Collegio Romano, became a driving cultural force in the seventeenth century, not just in Rome, but throughout Europe. 31 Through his participation in the Accademia degli Umoristi, Rossi came in contact with, as Gerboni describes, “the flower of Rome’s citizenry” gaining respect for his literary and linguistic abilities. 32 The writers, scholars, and intellectuals he met through the Academy became the basis for many of the biographical profiles in his Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium, but also material for characters in Eudemia. These include, most prominently, a description of an Academy meeting in Book Three where Eudemia’s intellectual elites gather to recite their poetry. It is also because of his participation in the Accademia degli Umoristi that Rossi became acquainted with Fabio Chigi (later Pope Alexander VII), who would become his most important friend and correspondent, as well as being instrumental in his eventual publishing success. In a 1646 letter to the Dutch scholar Guilelmus Moonsius, Rossi credited his reputation as a Latinist for the fact that, around 1607, he was offered a position in the Roman Curia, explaining that Marcello Vestrio, Secretary of Latin Briefs under Pope Paul V, had been impressed after hearing Rossi declaim at an Academy meeting. 33 In the same letter, Rossi informed Moonsius that (by his own estimation) he made quite a name for himself in that job, remarking that “whenever anything a little more polished or elegant was issued by Vestrio’s office, everyone reckoned that it had been produced and executed largely thanks to my ingenuity and effort.” 34 This job lasted only eight months, however, before Vestrio took ill and died. 29 Alemanno 1995: 99: “ritenute degne per nobilità di sangue, per letteratura non mediocre, o per eccellenza di qualche artefitio spettabile.” 30 Fumaroli 1978: 797-835. The Academy itself continued until 1717, but its major cultural impact was felt during Urban VIII’s papacy (1623 to 1644), the period during which Rossi was an active member (Alemanno 1995: 99-100). 31 Ibid.: 99-100. 32 Gerboni 1899: 16: “il fior della cittadinanza.” 33 Ibid.: 19; see also Ep. ad div. 1.IV.II. 34 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.II: “quicquid paulo limatius elegantiusque ex Vestrii domo prodibat illud omnes meo praesertim ingenio industriaque perfectum elaboratumque existimabant esse.” <?page no="19"?> 20 Introduction Around 1608, Rossi received a firm job offer as secretary to Cardinal Giovanni Garzia Mellini, who had been appointed papal legate to Germany, but that would have meant relocating to another country and away from his beloved Rome. As it turned out, he made it as far as the town of Caprarola (about sixty kilometers north of Rome), came down with a fever, and had to be sent home. 35 Indeed, he never was able to secure a permanent position within the Church. Rossi blamed his difficulty in securing steady employment on the fact that individuals in positions of power purposefully kept him out because they were jealous of, and intimidated by, his superior abilities. 36 Rossi’s longest period of employment lasted from 1610 to 1623, when he served as the private secretary to Cardinal Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto. 37 Rossi characterized this as a low point in his life, during which he spent more than a decade doing a thankless job for a thankless employer. In a 1637 letter to Ugone Ubaldini, Rossi described Peretti as “extremely heartless” (“inhumanissimus”) because he not only had to pay for medical care out of his own pocket when he fell ill while in Peretti’s employ, but Peretti never even asked after him to see if he needed anything. 38 In Eudemia Peretti makes a memorable appearance as a nobleman named Plusius, an inattentive, unappreciative, and miserly boss to a long-suffering and overworked secretary named Nicius Rufus. 39 35 Ep. ad div. 1.II.IV. 36 Ibid.; see also Ep. ad div. 1.IV.II. 37 There is some question as to how long Rossi was in Peretti’s employ. According to Gerboni (1899: 25), Peretti died August 3, 1628, but his death date was in fact June 2, 1623 (DBI). Gerboni calculates that Rossi began working for the cardinal in 1610, disputing the 1608 date given by Jean Pierre Niceron (1736: 227-8). Gerboni bases his calculation on Rossi’s own statement regarding the length of time he worked for Peretti—which was either eighteen years (“illos duodeviginti annos … ei navaverim operam,” Dialog. sept. XIII) or twenty years (“viginti enim annis inanissimis officiis [aula] me implicitum occupatumque detinuit,” Ep. ad div. 2.VIII.VI)—and subtracting that from what he believed was Peretti’s death date of 1628. Since Peretti died in 1623, however, either Rossi began working for Peretti in 1603 or 1605, while he was still employed elsewhere, or his statement about working for eighteen or twenty years was rhetorical and simply meant “a long time.” 38 Ep. ad div. 2.II.V; see also Gerboni 1899: 26. 39 Rossi’s true feelings toward his noble employer are difficult to ascertain. On the one hand, he composed a laudatory poem (included in Ep. ad div. 1.IV.XXVI) titled “In obitum Alexandri Peretti Cardinalis Montalti” (“On the occasion of the death of Cardinal Alessandro Peretti di Montalto”), in which he refers to Peretti as “Ille insignis Alexander et inclutus / qua sol surgit et occidit” (“that remarkable and renowned Alexander on whom the sun rose and set”). On the other hand, Rossi repurposed this very same poem in Book Four of Eudemia, where it is recited at the funeral procession of a nobleman named Alexander, at the conclusion of which the narrator tempers his praise by commenting that the nobleman had actually won the love of the populace more thanks to his philanthropy than because he boasted any great learning or notable accomplishments. <?page no="20"?> Life of Gian Vittorio Rossi 21 Rossi retreated into private life after Peretti’s death in 1623. In the early 1630s he moved to a house in the Monte Mario neighborhood of Rome, where he spent the rest of his days. 40 There is no evidence of his having steady employment after that. Gerboni assumes that he enjoyed some level of financial stability, however, since he was able to donate funds for the construction of a small church on Monte Mario dedicated to Santa Maria della Febbre e del Rosario. Rossi bequeathed this church to the monastery of Saint Onuphrius, and it still exists today as the Chiesa della Madonna del Rosario. 41 In addition, sometime before 1630 he had purchased the honorary office of Commissioner of the Aqua Marrana, which came with no responsibilities but yielded a modest annual income of 98.85 scudi. 42 This financial independence allowed Rossi to spend the remainder of his life focused on writing and publishing. As evidenced in his letters, Rossi was an active participant in the Republic of Letters, the pan-European intellectual community that fostered humanistic studies and the exchange of ideas via epistolary correspondence. He cultivated friendships with fellow humanists in such places as Italy, France, Germany, and 40 Rossi made this move unwillingly, as he explains in Ep. ad. Tyrr. 1.XLIX: “ab illis [aedibus] exeundum est mihi; pellor enim ab homine potenti, vicino meo, qui ab invito eas domino coemit ut domui magnifici a se exaedificatae coniungat” (“I have to leave [this house]; I’m being forced out by a powerful man, my neighbor, who purchased it against the wishes of the owner because it abuts the magnificent house that he built”). 41 Gerboni 1899: 40-1. 42 Gerboni 1899: 41-2; De Gregori 1942: 268. The Aqua Marrana was a medieval aqueduct that brought water from the Alban Hills to the Lateran section of town. Regarding his title, which he calls a “nudus honor,” Rossi writes: “Ego autem ad meum officium quod attinet nunquam scivi quaenam esset haec aqua Marana, unde orietur, qua flueret, quid utilitatis ex ea Populus Romanus acciperet” (“Regarding my title, I have never known what the Aqua Marrana was, where it originated, where it flowed, and what use it was to the Roman people” Ep. ad Tyrr. 2.LXVII). Such purely honorary titles were a mechanism for raising money for the public coffers. Citizens could purchase fanciful titles like Commissario dell’Acqua Marrana, Guardiano della Meta Sudante, Revisore delle Mura della Città di Roma, Custode dei Trofei di Mario, and in return they would receive an annual payout much like a municipal bond coupon. This system continued until 1811, when it was abolished by imperial decree (De Gregori 1942: 268-9). Rossi stopped receiving payouts for his title around 1645, and in 1647 he protested by penning, in jest, an oration titled “Pro pecunia mea” addressed to the Senatus Populusque Romanus (S.P.Q.R.) and appealing to the Patres conscripti (senators), making the case that he deserved this income because of the honor his publications, with their elegant Latin, brought to the city (this oration, the twenty-second in his work Orationes viginti duae, is a clear reference to Cicero’s Pro domo sua). Rossi fought to have his stipend reinstated on other fronts as well, including complaining to Fabio Chigi in a number of letters (e.g., Ep. ad Tyrr. 2.LI and 2.LIII). Some combination of complaining and public pressure apparently succeeded, since he managed to obtain at least a partial reimbursement for the missed payments shortly before his death (Ep. ad Tyrr. 2.LXVII; Gerboni 1899: 42-4; De Gregori 1942: 272-3). <?page no="21"?> 22 Introduction the Low Countries. In his personal life, however, Rossi chose to remain alone, never marrying or having children. Gerboni points to one of his dialogues for a clue as to why, citing an interlocutor named Iucundus who, when asked why he never married, explains that the main two reasons were fear of losing his freedom to a carping wife, and fear that she would give birth to children who were bow-legged, knock-kneed, squinty-eyed, buck-toothed, and ill-behaved. 43 Gerboni concedes that these assertions were made primarily for humorous effect, and he surmises that the real reason was probably that the majority of educated laymen aspiring to a career in the Roman Curia tended not to marry, surrounded as they were by clerics 44 (of course, it is also not out of the question that Rossi was homosexual). On the other hand, Rossi never entered the priesthood, which Gerboni ascribes to a similar fear of losing his liberty, and also to the fact that he ultimately did not feel a strong spiritual calling to such a life. 45 Rossi died at the age of seventy on November 13, 1647, and was buried in the church he founded on Monte Mario. He left his estate to the caretakers of that church, the Poor Hermits of Blessed Peter Gambacorta of Pisa, of the monastic order of Saint Onuphrius, who memorialized him with this inscription: “Ioanni Victorio Roscio / Iani Nici Erythraei nomine / apud externos notissimo / huius domus et ecclesiae / munificentissimo fundatori.” 46 Gian Vittorio Rossi: vita 1577 Born in Rome. ca. 1582-94 Educated at the Jesuit Collegio Romano. 1596 Completes studies in the law. ca. 1598-1602 Legal apprenticeship under Lepido Piccolomini. ca. 1602 Joins the Academia Humoristarum (Accademia degli Umoristi). 1603 Publishes first work, titled Orationes novem (Romae: Apud Aloysium Zannettum). 1607-8 Works in the Secretariat of Latin Briefs under Marcello Vestrio, Secretary of Latin Briefs for Pope Paul V. 43 Gerboni 1899: 29 citing Dialog. sept. V 44 Ibid.: 29. 45 Ibid.: 30-1. 46 Mandosio 1682-92: 253-4; Gerboni 1899: 45; DBI. <?page no="22"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: vita 23 1610-1623 Employed as private secretary (a studiis) to Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto. 1626 Meets Fabio Chigi for the first time, at a gathering of the Accademia degli Umoristi. ca. 1630 Moves to the Janiculum Hill neighborhood of Rome retiring to a life of study and writing. 1637 Publishes Eudemiae libri VIII ([Leiden]: [Bonaventure and Abraham Elzevier]). 1641 Begins friendship and correspondence with Fabio Chigi, which lasts until his death. ca. 1644 Moves to the Monte Mario neighborhood of Rome. 1645 Publishes Eudemiae libri decem (Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu]). 1647 Dies in Rome on November 13 and is buried at the church he founded on Monte Mario dedicated to Santa Maria della Febbre e del Rosario. <?page no="23"?> 24 Introduction Fig. 1: Engraved portrait of Gian Vittorio Rossi. Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri decem. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu] [1645]. Soc 950.36, Houghton Library, Harvard University. Fig. 2: Ottavio Leoni, “Portrait of a Young Man” (1607-1612). Staatliche Museen zu Berlin, Kupferstichkabinett, KdZ 17153. Proposed identification as Gian Vittorio Rossi by Riccardo Gandolfi (Primarosa 2017: 381). <?page no="24"?> Intellectual and Artistic Milieu of Seventeenth-Century Rome 25 Intellectual and Artistic Milieu of Seventeenth-Century Rome Rossi’s active literary life largely coincided with the period known as the Baroque. Though there is no consensus regarding the precise dates that demarcate this era, 47 the Baroque period in Italy more or less coincides with the seventeenth century (Seicento). 48 The Baroque aesthetic was characterized by meraviglia (wonder or marvel), and comprised elements intended to act on the emotions of the reader or viewer: the supernatural or fantastic (favoloso), a surprising and pleasing style achieved via clever metaphor and ornament (concetti or concettismo), and the application of wit (arguzia) that allows the reader or viewer to “[glimpse] the truth of things in a unique way.” 49 As Peter Rietbergen explains, the Baroque aesthetic was all-encompassing; it was not just an artistic style but “a style of living wherein all elements of life were fundamentally united” to create a sense of wonder. 50 The author who is best known for representing the Baroque literary aesthetic of meraviglia is Giambattista Marino, though he had already died by the time the Baroque era reached its apex under Pope Urban VIII. 51 The Baroque aesthetic was a response to a critical historical moment for the Roman Catholic Church. During the post-Tridentine Catholic reform movement, or the Counter-Reformation, the Church sought to reassert its power and to reestablish Rome as the physical and spiritual center of the Catholic world. 52 The consolidation and maintenance of temporal and spiritual power required the participation of the populace. The Baroque aesthetic—embodied in theater performances, music, public recitations, architecture, monuments, and highly visible displays of wealth—served to overwhelm and delight the reader or 47 Cherchi 1997: 301. Art historians generally define the period as spanning from the late sixteenth century (the end of Mannerism) to the late seventeenth century (the beginning of Rococo) (Battistini 2000: 14-5; Galluzzi 2005: 16). Historians of literature have traditionally set the parameters of the Baroque period as beginning with the death of the poet Torquato Tasso in 1595 and ending with the foundation of the Accademia dell’Arcadia in 1690 (Maravall 1986: 3-4; Cherchi 1997: 301). 48 Galluzzi 2005: 24. 49 Mirollo 1963: 166; Cherchi 1997: 304. 50 Battistini 2000: 12; Rietbergen 2006: 11. 51 Galluzzi 2005: 17. 52 Rietbergen 2006: 13. Battistini (2000: 22) describes the Baroque period in Italy as the manifestation of a profound anthropological crisis that produced upheavals and imbalances resulting in the progressive shift of the political center of gravity from Italy and the Mediterranean to northern Europe. <?page no="25"?> 26 Introduction viewer, while at the same time leading him or her to embrace what the Roman Catholic Church deemed correct spiritual teaching (delectare et docere). 53 One of the main drivers of culture in Baroque Rome was the Jesuit order, whose Collegio Romano was the principal institution for secondary education. The Jesuit curriculum was based on principles of what Fumaroli terms “Christian humanism,” a fusion of the disciplined rules found in Cicero and Quintilian with the meditative and contemplative approach to spirituality as found in the Exercitia spiritualia of Igantius of Loyola. 54 Under the Jesuit-educated, humanist pope Urban VIII, and his nephew, Cardinal Francesco Barberini, Rome experienced a cultural renovatio that Fumaroli describes as a second Roman Renaissance. 55 During this period Rome became a beacon for intellectuals and artists from all over Europe, who traveled to Rome in order to be part of this flourishing activity in literature, art, and science. Many of these intellectuals and artists were members of the Accademia degli Umoristi, which became an important arbiter of the best style (optimus stylus). 56 Baroque literature has often been dismissed as extravagant, decadent, and representing “the nadir of Italian literature.” 57 Scholars who resist this assessment do so from different vantages. IJsewijn, for example, argues that such a characterization tends to reflect only vernacular works, and that any adequate assessment of the literary output of Seicento Rome must also take into consideration Latin works of the period. In his view, “many of the flaws which critics usually find in the Italian writings of the age, such as bad taste and extravagance, are markedly absent from the best of their Latin counterparts.” 58 Fuma- 53 Rietbergen 2006: 11, 137. 54 Fumaroli 1978: 801, 803. 55 Rietbergen 2006: 11; Fumaroli 1978: 801. 56 Fumaroli 1978: 812-3. 57 Cherchi 1997: 301; Galluzzi 2005: 22, 25. The negative assessment of the Baroque period began with literary critics in the Arcadian period of the late seventeenth century, continued through the eighteenth century Romantics, and was supported by the influential critics Francesco De Sanctis in the nineteenth century and Benedetto Croce in the twentieth century (Asor Rosa 1974: 3; Fumaroli 1978: 802). 58 IJsewijn 1995: 82. IJsewijn’s assertion that the Baroque era embraces “bad taste and extravagance” is also incomplete and itself falls into the literary critical tradition that viewed vernacular Baroque literature in a negative light. Drawing a distinction between measured literature in Latin and extravagant literature in Italian risks doing a disservice to the complexity of both. A case in point is Giambattista Marino, who has been held up by literary critics as the epitome of the exaggerated Baroque style embodying “everything bad in the Baroque world” (Cherchi 1997: 301). Marino, however, actually shunned gratuitous virtuosity and advocated moderation, distinguishing in his 1614 Dicerie sacre between l’eccellente and il goffo (excellence and gaudiness) (Galluzzi 2005: 41). Moreover, Marino was a member of the Accademia degli Umoristi and was even elected its Principe in 1623. <?page no="26"?> Intellectual and Artistic Milieu of Seventeenth-Century Rome 27 roli, on the other hand, argues that the very distinction between Baroque and Classical aesthetic is exaggerated and unnecessary, and that both the rigorous standards of Ciceronianism and individual (even eccentric) Baroque style are manifestations of the limitless ways one can express one’s relationship with the immutable logos of the Catholic Church, which was forced to become more flexible and open to different means of expression after the Reformation. 59 Rossi was certainly aware of these aesthetic debates. Classical authors provided the touchstone that guided his style and often put him at odds with the more experimental trends embraced by his contemporaries. As Gerboni explains, Rossi expressed a clear preference for Ciceronian Latin over the sort of style he described as “new and sublime,” 60 criticizing those who rejected the “pure, clear words and manifest meanings” of Cicero, in favor of overwrought meraviglia, as privileging form over substance: “Always inflated and swollen, they spread their wings and reach for the mountaintops, only to grasp clouds and emptiness.” 61 It is not only in his letters that Rossi inveighs against this new style. Eudemia also serves as his vehicle for criticizing writers who turn their back on ancient authors. In Book Three, for example, he includes poems on such subjects as a honey apple, a beard, and a pomegranate, and the narrator mentions someone who composed a laudatory poem to a gnat. These compositions and references serve to make fun of the Baroque proliferation of paradoxical encomia, poems in praise of everyday objects. 62 In addition, in Books Four and Nine, the two Romans meet people who, respectively, express indignation at being compared to ancient authors and insist on their own superiority. One of them declares: “I would be embarrassed to compose verses that are anything like Virgil’s” 63 ; while the other insists that the writings of ancient authors be measured against his own: “He endeavored to measure ancient authors … against the criterion of his own acumen and dislodge them from their long-standing supremacy.” 64 Thus 59 Fumaroli 1978: 828-30. 60 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.13: “novum … atque sublime” (as quoted also in Gerboni 1899: 101-2). Among the other sources Gerboni cites where Rossi expresses his preference for ancient authors, especially Cicero, over what Gerboni (1899: 102, n. 1-2) calls the “nuova scuola,” are: Ep. ad div. 1.V.10, 1.VII.1, 1.VII.3; Ep. ad div. 2.IX.7, 2.IX.8. 61 Ep. ad div. 1.VII.1: “verba pura atque dilucida, sententias apertas”; “semper tumidi, semper inflati, alas pandunt, montium vertices appetunt, nubes et inania captunt” (the last phrase is from Hor. Ars. P. 230). This letter is addressed to Girolamo Aleandro the younger (see also Gerboni 1899: 102). Rossi repurposes this letter as his dedicatory letter to Girolamo Aleandro in Eudemia. 62 Cherchi 1997: 304. 63 Liber IV.3: “sane pudeat me Virgilianis similes versus efficere.” 64 Liber IX.2: “scriptores veteres … ad sui iudicium acuminis revocare ac de diuturna regni possessione … est conatus deicere.” <?page no="27"?> 28 Introduction Rossi’s novel, aside from being a social critique, is also an artistic one, to the detriment of his own contemporaries. To reiterate Rietbergen’s assessment, the Baroque aesthetic was an all-encompassing lifestyle that included “banquets and behavior and books.” 65 Rossi’s Eudemia parades this all-encompassing aesthetic before his readers’ eyes. Writing in elegant Latin, he lays bare a society, fashioned and fostered by the powerful Barberini family and their circle, that cultivated literary and artistic showmanship, opulent displays of wealth, lavish banquets, luxurious dress, and enormous villas complete with sumptuous decorations, fountains and spectacular gardens, all fueled and supported by a corrupt system of patronage and favors. Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works Eudemia and Other Published Works Rossi’s first publications date to the early 1600s and were printed in Rome under his real name, Ioannes Victorius Roscius: Orationes novem (Luigi Zanetti, 1603); Oratio de Christi Domini ascensu (Guglielmo Facciotti, 1604); and De diuturna aegrotatione toleranda oratio (Carlo Vullietti, 1605). 66 In 1629 he published a collection of poems in Viterbo titled Rime spirituali, also under his real name (this time in the vernacular), Giovanni Vittorio de’ Rossi. This was the last work Rossi would publish in Italy. After he had retreated to private life upon the death of Cardinal Peretti di Montalto in the early 1620s, 67 Rossi began writing a series of humorous vignettes, often poking fun at people in his literary circle behind pseudonyms. These stories apparently delighted his friends, who encouraged him to publish them. 68 By 1631, as indicated in a letter to Giovanni Zaratino Castellini, Rossi was actively in search of a dedicatee: “I could publish [my satire] with a dedicatory letter to you and, to the best of my ability, gain honor for you and praise for myself.” 69 We know that Castellini declined this offer because Rossi wrote to 65 Rietbergen 2006: 11. 66 These orations would eventually be collected together, augmented by others, and published by Joan Blaeu in 1649 under the title Orationes viginti duae. 67 Gerboni 1899: 107-8; Giachino 2002: 187. 68 Ep. ad div. 1.VI.XXXVII: “omnes uno ore mihi fuere auctores ut typis mandarem” (“everyone unanimously prompted me to publish it”). 69 Ep. ad div. 1.III.XV: “[Satyram] ego possim epistola, quae tuas veras laudas contineat, eidem praefixa, tuo nomini inscriptam emittere, et quantum mihi ingenii vires ferunt, tibi decus, mihi ipsi laudem acquirere.” <?page no="28"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works 29 him again three years later, informing him that the bookseller Giovanni Battista Tamantini, whom he refers to by the pseudonym Thaumantinus, 70 was supposedly going to help him get his as-yet-still-unpublished novel printed in Venice. 71 No Venetian edition ever materialized. Instead, looking back in a 1646 letter to Kaspar Schoppe, Rossi explained the circumstances by which Eudemiae libri VIII finally came to be published by the Elzeviers in Leiden: One day my bookseller friend 72 came to me with John Barclay’s Argenis, which I was eager to take a look at. Jokingly, I said to him: “I also have a book that is not too different from this.” Then he said, “Give it to me, I want to read it.” I gave it to him straightaway, thinking that I would never want it back. But hardly two years had passed from that meeting with him when he showed me the book, which I thought had met a bad end, having been published in Leiden. 73 70 Giovanni Battista Tamantini. The identity of Thaumantinus (alternative spellings Thaumantius and Thaumas), as well as of Hermannus—the other Rome-based bookseller frequently mentioned in Rossi’s works (e.g., Ep. ad div. 1.VII.XXVI and Ep. ad Tyrr. 1.XXIII)— has eluded Rossi scholars. Gerboni (1899: 108, n. 3; 130), for example, conflates the two, identifying Thaumantinus as a certain “Hermannus.” I have concluded that Thaumantinus is Tamantini (given the similarity of his real name to the pseudonym) and that Hermannus is the bookseller Hermann Scheus. Corroboration of these identifications is that Tamantini and Scheus were collaborators in real life. In 1624, the bookseller Andrea Brogiotti, who had his shop in Piazza di Pasquino at the sign of the Sun, entrusted the running of his bookshop to his nephew Giovanni Battista Tamantini and to Hermann Scheus (Franchi and Sartori 1994, vol. 1: 92-3, incl. 92, n. 7). In 1627 or 1628 Brogiotti sold his business to his nephew Tamantini and Scheus opened his own shop in Piazza di Pasquino at the sign of the Queen (Romani 1973: 78; Santoro et al. 2013: 193). Barthold Nihus’s mention of “Hermannus Scheus” in a letter to Rossi (BAV Chig. I.VII.244: fol. 255v-256r) is the only contemporary epistolary documentation I have found of his full name. 71 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.XVI: “Itaque bibliopolae illi in animo est Venetias imprimendam eam mittere” (“the bookseller has in mind to send it to Venice for printing”). 72 Most likely Hermann Scheus, whom Rossi describes in Ep. ad Tyrr. 1.XXIII as a “bibliopola Romae in primis nobilis, qui cum omnibus fere Europae impressoribus magnae pecuniae rationem habet” (“a particularly well-respected bookseller in Rome who does a lot of business with almost all of the printers in Europe”). 73 Ep. ad div. 2.VIII.VI: “Venit die quodam ad me bibliopola, amicus meus, cum Argedine Ioannis Barclaii, cuius ego libri inspiciendi eram oppidus. Ac ioci causa: ‘Habeo,’ inquam, ‘ego quoque librum … huic non longe dissimilem.’ Tum ille: ‘Ced[e] mihi eum,’ ait ‘ut legam.’ Confestim tradidi, eo animo ut numquam repeterem. At vix biennium intercesserat ab hoc sermone cum illo habito, cum mihi libenter quem in malam rem abisse credideram Lugduni Batavorum impressus ostenditur.” The title page of Eudemiae libri VIII indicates no publisher, but we know that Barclay’s Argenis was published in 1630 in Leiden by Abraham and Bonaventure Elzevier (it is listed, for example, in the four Elzevier bibliographies: Rahir 1896: 456; Berghman 1911: 1314; Copinger 1927: 1643; Willems 1974: 456). <?page no="29"?> 30 Introduction Unlike his earlier works printed in Italy, Eudemiae libri VIII was the first of many books Rossi would publish under his pseudonym, Ianus Nicius Erythraeus. 74 After its publication in Leiden, Eudemia libri VIII circulated in Northern Europe, where it came to the attention of Fabio Chigi, who had been named Papal Nuncio to Cologne in 1639. Indeed, an early biography of Chigi indicates that the bishop was always eager to read things that were new, unique, and interesting. 75 Chigi knew Rossi from when they had met in 1626 at a meeting of the Accademia degli Umoristi, which the former had the opportunity to attend when he moved to Rome from Siena to embark on his ecclesiastical career—and it probably did not hurt that Chigi himself appears in Book Three of Eudemia as a noble young man named Tyrrhenus attending a meeting of a literary academy. 76 Chigi’s delight in reading Eudemia prompted him to write to Rossi in April of 1641, saying, “Your Eudemia recently came into my hands among the many other books that arrived from Holland.” 77 This letter initiated a friendship and correspondence between Chigi and Rossi that lasted until Rossi’s death in 1647. By the early 1640s Rossi had found himself with few avenues to publishing. Because of Eudemia’s rocky reception in Italy (about which more later), Roman—and presumably Italian—printers were no longer willing to publish his works, and Rossi remained dissatisfied with a 1642 French edition of his Dialogi that Gabriel Naudé had arranged to be printed in Paris, complaining that it was full of errors. 78 Encouraged by Chigi’s enjoyment of his satire, Rossi 74 Rossi’s justification for using a pseudonym was to avoid scorn in the face of a negative reaction to his satire: “ad vitandam invidiam alio [satyram] nomine inscripserim” (Ep. ad div. 1.III.XV). More than a decade later, after the publication of the 1645 edition, he told Kaspar Schoppe that he had wanted to conceal his identity because he was embarrassed by the book: “cuius libri cum postea puderet … in eo loco Io. Victorii Roscii Iani Nicii Erythraei nomen inscripsi” (Ep. ad div. 2.VIII.VI). 75 Pallavicino 1839: 49. 76 Chigi wrote in a 1642 letter to Nihus that Rossi had praised him, using the name Tyrrhenus, during an Academy meeting sixteen years earlier (BAV Chig. a.I.44: fol. 90v). 77 BAV Chig.I.VII.246: 12r-13r: “Venit ad manus meas nuper plures inter libros ex Hollandia advectos tua Eudemia.” 78 Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogi (Paris: Jacques Villery, 1642). Complaints about this French edition are in, for example, Ep. ad Tyrr. 1.XXII and 1.XXXI. Naudé mentions Rossi’s being blacklisted in Rome in a 1641 letter to Jacques Dupuy written while he was searching for a publisher for the Dialogi: “Si Pélé n’a point d’autre raison pour imprimer les Dialogues de Nicius que de demander pourquoi on ne les imprime pas à Rome, vous lui pourrez dire, s’il vous plaît, que c’est à cause de l’Eudemia imprimée en Hollande, car la cour de Rome n’étant pas épargnée en icelle, le Maître du Sacré Palais ne veut pas que le nom de Janus Nicius paraisse sur des livres imprimés en cette ville. ” (“If [Guillaume] Pelé has no reason not to print the Dialogues of Nicius other than to inquire why they are not being printed in Rome, please tell him that it’s because of Eudemia, which was printed in Holland. Because he didn’t spare the Roman Curia in that work, the Master of the Sacred Palace <?page no="30"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works 31 took Naudé’s advice and asked the bishop for help in publishing his collection of imagines (biographies), which he titled Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium. 79 Chigi found Pinacotheca worthy of publication and assigned the task of finding a printer to the German priest and scholar Barthold Nihus, who worked as an editor for both the Elzeviers and Joan Blaeu. 80 For their part, the Elzeviers were open to publishing Pinacotheca. Eudemia libri VIII had proven to be a commercial success, and they were already sitting on a second edition of the novel, which the author had augmented by two books. As Nihus informed Chigi, however, their presses were busy with other projects for the following seven months, so they would not be able to get started on it right away. 81 Blaeu had more capacity to begin immediate production, prompting Nihus to select him for the project, with the arrangement that the biographies would be published under the name of the Cologne-based printer Cornelius ab Egmondt. 82 Pinacotheca—with its lively biographies of priests, podidn’t want the name Ianus Nicius appearing on any works printed in that city” (Naudé and Wolfe 1982: 124). 79 Ep. ad Tyrr. 1.II: “Nam ab eo die [Naudaeus] magnam in spem venit posse contingere ut istic, ubi celebres officinas impressorias esse non ignorat, tua auctoritate et gratia imprimatur illud opus quod nuper de viris aliqua ingenii fama notis me vivo vita functis absolvi. Itaque quoties me videt (videt autem saepissime) rogat, instat, urget ut id a te beneficium quanta vi potest efflagitem” (“From that day Naudé held out great hope of it coming to pass that, on account of your influence and sway, the work I recently completed—about men who were famous because of their ingenuity and who passed away during my lifetime—could be published there in Cologne, where he knows there are famous publishing houses. Every time he sees me (which is quite often) he asks, insists, and urges me, with all the strength he can muster, to beseech this favor of you”). 80 Nihus wrote to Chigi in July of 1642 that he had spoken to both of these publishers about it: “De Pinacotheca egi cum duobus bibliopolis Blawio et Elzevirio” (BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 31r; also published in Hoogewerff 1917: 379). 81 “Et paratus tunc Elzevirius excudere quidem, sed non nisi mense abhinc septimo quod praela nunc aliis operibus occupata habeat. Eudemiae exemplaria divendita esse ait omnia; auctorem itaque sibi placere omnino et ab eodem ad se pervenisse Eudemiam auctiorem quam fuit ante” (“Elzevier is prepared to print it as well, but not for another seven months, because his presses are occupied with other projects. He says that all of the copies of Eudemia have sold out, which the author is very happy about, and he said that he has received from the author a version of Eudemia that is longer than the previous one” (BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 31r; also published in Hoogewerff 1917: 379). 82 Blaeu, who was based in the Calvinist city of Amsterdam, issued books on Catholic subjects or by Catholic authors with the imprint of the Cologne-based printers Cornelius ab Egmondt, Johann Kinckius, or Jost Kalckhoven. Dutch printers did this either to protect their Calvinist identity or, more likely, to avoid “needlessly disturbing relations with foreign rulers” (Frijhoff and Spies 2004: 266), thus protecting the market for Catholic books in the south (Clemens 1992: 90). What is more, the official Catholic censor in Amsterdam, Leonardus Marius, had the authority to approve books under the name of the Cologne-based Catholic censor Henricus Francken Sierstorpff, whose name appears in <?page no="31"?> 32 Introduction ets, theologians, scientists, philosophers, and artists, who lived between the second half of the sixteenth and the first half of the seventeenth century—remains the work for which Rossi is still best known. 83 Blaeu himself published three volumes of Pinacotheca over five years, and new editions of the work continued to be published into the eighteenth century, the final one in 1729. 84 Much to Blaeu’s satisfaction, Pinacotheca proved to be a bestseller 85 ; so much so that, by April 1644, Nihus informed Chigi that Blaeu was more than willing to publish all of Rossi’s works. 86 By the end of that same year, Blaeu had nine of Rossi’s works in production: the first and second edition of Exempla virtutum et vitiorum; another press run of Pinacotheca, as well as a second edition titled Pinacotheca altera; a religious work titled Documenta sacra ex Evangeliis; an expanded collection of dialogues titled Dialogi septendecim; a collection of letters from Rossi to his friends and acquaintances titled Epistolae ad diversos; a collection of Rossi’s letters to Fabio Chigi titled Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum; and the second, augmented edition of his novel, Eudemiae libri decem. As was stated earlier, this last was supposed to have been published by the Elzeviers, but they never seem to have got around to it. In fact, as late as January 1644, Nihus was still informing Chigi that the Elzeviers were intending to print the second edition, but their presses continued to be unavailable. 87 No explicit reason is given for all of Rossi’s books printed by Blaeu, as Nihus explains to Chigi: “necessaria adprobatio censoris librorum D. Marius potestatem habet adponendi nomen D. Sierstorfii” (BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 33rv; also published in Hoogewerff 1917: 380). 83 In the chapter on Rossi’s Pinacotheca included in his survey of seventeenth-century Italian literature, Benedetto Croce (Croce and Fabrizi 2003: 136) describes the work as depicting characters who are “disordinati, squilibrati, pazzeschi” (“messy, unbalanced, and mad”) and in a manner that underscores their psychological quirkiness. As a matter of fact, the prospect of having his quirks immortalized in Pinacotheca so concerned the French scholar Jean-Jacques Bouchard that, as the first volume of Rossi’s collection of portraits was being prepared, he had Cassiano Dal Pozzo intervene on his behalf with Chigi to have his biography removed (Herklotz 2008). 84 As of this writing, I am collaborating with Luisella Giachino to translate the 1643 Pinacotheca. See Appendix B for a complete list of Rossi’s published works. 85 Nihus and Chigi exchanged letters to this effect in July 1643, with Nihus informing Chigi that: “exemplaria Pinacothecae intellego esse ferme divendita in Belgio, Polonia, Gallia et Italia” (“I understand that copies of Pinacotheca have almost sold out in the Low Countries, Poland, France, and Italy” [BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 61rv; also published in Hoogewerff 1917: 382]); and likewise Chigi confirming to Nihus that: “Pinacotheca triplo quam ab initio venditur. In Italia desunt iam exemplaria” (Pinacotheca is selling three times as fast as it did initially. It has already sold out in Italy” [BAV Chig. a.I.44: fol. 164rv]). 86 BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 122rv: “Blavius paratissimus est excudere niciana omnia.” 87 “Eudemia necdum coepta excudi … Itaque Ludovicus [Elzevier] Leydae praelo subiciendam Eudemiam dixit, ubi volumina alia necdum absoluta esse ait. Scribet tamen iam denuo istuc ad suum cognatum ut significat quando Eudemiae fieri possit initium. Ipsius typographia exigua Amstelodami non vacat” (“the printing of Eudemia has not yet begun <?page no="32"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works 33 this slow-walking of the second edition by the Elzeviers, whether their presses truly could not accommodate it, or whether they were reluctant to publish the work a second time based on the mixed reception of the first edition. In any case, by October of 1644 Eudemia was on Blaeu’s presses—but not without editorial intervention by Nihus to remove a few questionable passages. 88 The collaboration among Rossi, Chigi, Nihus, and Blaeu resulted in the publication of more than fifteen titles, from 1643 to 1649, some of which remained popular and continued to enjoy new editions into the first half of the eighteenth century. 89 Until now, the only edition of Eudemia to be issued in print after Blaeu’s was Johann Christian Fischer’s 1740 Eudemiae libri decem, editio novissima, which includes a preface that reconstructs the work’s publication history based on Rossi’s letters. In 1998 the University of Kentucky’s Department of … Lodowijk [Elzevier] said that Eudemia would be printed in Leiden, where he says there are other works that have yet to be completed. He will write yet again to his cousin [Abraham] in Leiden so he can let him know when he might get started on Eudemia. His [Lodowijk’s] own presses in Amsterdam are not available”). 88 The present edition retains the excised passages in square brackets. In BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 165r-166r Nihus writes: “Perendie dabit mihi impressos typographus octerniones Eudemiae duos primos … Ex Eudemia delevi aliqua … alias enim D. Marius non auderet approbare et quidem nomine Domini Sierstorfii (“The day after next the pressman will give me the first two gatherings of Eudemia … I have deleted a few things [from it] here and there … otherwise [the censor] Don [Leonardus] Marius would not dare approve it, even under the name of name of Don [Henricus Francken] Sierstorpff” [published in Hoogewerff 1917: 390; see also Herklotz 2017: 173]). It should be noted that, in a 1643 letter to Chigi, Rossi implies that the Elzeviers did print the second edition of his book and that a few copies had reached Italy: “Accepi a quodam qui se vidisse affirmat fuisse Romam missa tria Eudemiae exempla denuo cum auctario duorum librorum, qui desiderabantur, in Belgio impressae” (“I heard from someone, who confirmed he had seen it, that three copies of Eudemia had been printed in the Low Countries, which at last included the two additional missing books” (Ep. ad Tyrr. XXXIII; see also Gerboni [1899: 115], Incisa della Rocchetta [1949: 220], and Maragoni [2006: 152]). Gerboni, Incisa della Rocchetta, and Maragoni do not question the existence of a 1642 edition in ten books, but I am not convinced that any such edition exists because Nihus’s letters clearly indicate that the Elzeviers never got the book into production, and no edition besides the 1637 editio princeps is listed in the bibliographies of Elzevier imprints (Berghman; Copinger; Rahir; Willems). 89 Rossi died in 1647 but he had a hand in the preparation of the works that Blaeu published after his death. Any works published after 1649, beginning with the 1676 imprint of Exempla virtutum et vitiorum, were new editions prepared using the existing editions as the exemplar but without the involvement of the original collaborators (Barthold Nihus died in 1657 and Fabio Chigi was elevated to the papacy in 1655). The continued interest in Rossi by German scholars and publishers is evidenced by the almost exclusively German editions of his works, with the addition of many notes and prefatory materials, that continued to be prepared and published through the late 1740s. See Appendix B for a complete list of Rossi’s published works. <?page no="33"?> 34 Introduction Modern and Classical Languages, Literatures and Cultures published an online version of the Latin text of Eudemia libri decem in Retiarius: Commentarii Periodici Latini, its archive of Neo-Latin texts. This online version includes notes by Jozef IJsewijn and a preface by Terence Tunberg. 90 In 2006 Gian Piero Maragoni published a sample critical edition and translation, into Italian, of Eudemia Book One. 91 To my knowledge, the present edition is the first translation, into any language, of Eudemiae libri decem in its entirety. It includes notes to both the Latin and the English texts, the former primarily indicating where Rossi is quoting from other authors, and the latter explaining Classical and contemporary historical and cultural references. The identities behind the pseudonyms of this roman à clef are found in Appendix A. Fig. 3: Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri VIII. [Leiden]: [Bonaventure and Abraham Elzevier], [1637]. Image courtesy of The Bancroft Library, University of California, Berkeley. 90 Eud. 1998: https: / / mcl.as.uky.edu/ praefationem-composuit-terentius-tunberg 91 “Per l’edizione dell’Eudemia di Giano Nicio Eritreo. II. Eudemiae. Liber primus.” Aprosiana: rivista annuale di studi barocchi 14 (2006): 105-57. <?page no="34"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works 35 Fig. 4: Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri decem. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu] [1645]. Image courtesy of the Bancroft Library, University of California, Berkeley. Unpublished or Lost Works Rossi wrote a number of works that are now lost. Among his sacred dramatic works was a play titled Tobia, which, according to Leone Allacci, was published in 1629 in Viterbo. 92 Rossi’s unpublished sacred plays include Esau et Iacob, Christi Domini praesepis, Filius profusus ac perditus, and Susanna. His play Magdalena flens ad sepulchrum Christi, set to music by the composer Virgilio Mazzocchi, was performed multiple times, including in a private performance before cardinals Francesco Barberini, Ippolito Aldobrandini, Roberto Ubaldini, and the 92 Tobia is the only one of Rossi’s plays listed in Drammaturgia di Leone Allacci divisa in sette indici (Roma: Per il Mascardi, 1666). The entry reads, “Tobia, ridotto in atti recitabili da Gio: Vittorio de Rossi insieme con le rime sue spirituali, in Viterbo appresso Agostino Discepoli 1629 in 4.v.” (317-8). See also Gerboni 1899: 39; Giachino 2002: 186; Rossi’s entry in DBI. Both Gerboni and Giachino write that Tobia was published in 1623, which differs from the 1629 date provided by Allacci. <?page no="35"?> 36 Introduction Polish ambassador to Rome, 93 but the text has not survived. Another musical performance consisted of a sacred play about Ignatius Loyola set to music by the composer Loreto Vittori (who appears as a character in Book Ten). 94 Other lost short works are Vita Iuvenalis Ancinae Saluciarum Episcopi, Vita Sancti Isidori, Vita B[eati] Stanislae Kostka, Canonis missae interpretatio, De officio ac dignitate sacerdotis, Totius missae sacrificii explicatio, and Confessiones propriae, modeled after St. Augustine’s Confessions. 95 Keys to Accompany Eudemia I rely primarily on six sources to identify, to the extent possible, the real names behind the pseudonyms in Eudemia. Two keys to the work have been published: Christian Gryphius’s Apparatus sive dissertatio isagogica de scriptoribus historiam seculi XVII illustrantibus (1710: 490-5) and Fernand Drujon’s Les livres à clef (1888: 1052-7). 96 Other sources for identifications are Luigi Gerboni’s Un umanista nel Seicento (1899: 131-3) and Luisella Giachino’s “Cicero libertinus” (2002: 185-215). Jozef IJsewijn identified a number of names in his notes that accompany the 1998 online version of Eudemia housed on the University of Kentucky’s website. 97 In addition, I consulted two manuscript keys. “Clavis et index in Eudemiam,” which I identified in Harvard University’s Houghton Library archives, is in Gabriel Naudé’s hand and accompanies the 1637 Eudemiae libri VIII; “Chiave dell’Eudemia del Signor Gio. Vittorio De Rossi” is sewn into a British Library copy of Eudemiae libri decem. 98 Another key was apparently composed by Jean- 93 Ep. ad. div. 1.IV.XVI; Gerboni 1899: 39; DBI. The Polish ambassador (“legatus regis Poloniae”) was probably Jerzy Ossoliński. 94 Ep. ad div. 1.VI.XXXVII; Gerboni: 39-40; DBI. 95 For a list of lost works see Gerboni 1899: 74 and Giachino 2002: 186. These lost works are also listed under the entry for “Ioannes Victorius Roscius” in the second volume of Prospero Mandosio’s Bibliotheca romana (1682-92: 251-5). Mandosio was a member of the Accademia degli Umoristi. 96 These two published keys share the same incorrect spellings for the names Cumanus (instead of Humanus, the pseudonym for Pope Urban VIII) and Clusius (instead of Plusius, the pseudonym for Cardinal Peretti di Montalto), as well as sharing identifications that do not appear in any other keys: Pedro Manuel Girón de Velasco, the third Duke of Osuna, for an unnamed praetor in Book Nine, and the German astronomer Christoph Scheiner for a man in Book Ten who is lauded for his invention of a telescope (whereas every other source identifies that man as Galileo Galilei). It is reasonable to conclude, therefore, that the 1710 Gryphius key is the source for Drujon’s 1888 key. 97 Eud. 1998: https: / / mcl.as.uky.edu/ liber-i 98 British Library, 12410.aa.16 (published in Caruso 2000: 462-2) and Houghton Library, Harvard University MS Lat 306.1. See Fig. 5 and Fig. 6 for an image of the first leaf of each of these manuscript keys. Although the British Library manuscript is sewn into a <?page no="36"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works 37 Jacques Bouchard, which Rossi’s contemporary Cassiano Dal Pozzo mentions in his Memoriale romano, 99 while a fourth was to be drafted by the Italian author Angelico Aprosio. 100 Unfortunately, I have found no trace of either of these two last keys. Where discrepancies occur among the existing keys and scholarly sources, I took the further step of consulting Rossi’s Pinacotheca, since a significant number of the characters in Eudemia were also the subjects of his biographies. Identifications not gleaned from any of the existing keys and sources, and unique to this edition, are based on the similarities of the pseudonyms to names of real people, as well as on my own research. Examples of these are Giovanni Battista Tamantini for Thaumantinus, Margherita Costa for Pleura (who also appears in Pinacotheca), and Francesco Barberini for the animal-loving Dynast Bibulus. In addition, I identify a number of physical locations in Rome that do not appear in any of the sources, such as the Villa Peretti-Montalto for the Placidiani Gardens, the Villa Farnesina for a sumptuous villa on the banks of the river, and the Villa Borghese for the site of a May Day picnic (these latter two in Book Ten). copy of the 1645 edition in ten books, the identifications only go through Book Eight. Additionally, the two manuscripts share identifications that do not appear in any of the other keys: the physician Pompeio Caimo for Aristarchus, the jurist Girolamo Rocca for Obtusus, a certain “Giovanni Battista de Asti con Monsignor Virile” for Asterius, and the lover of the Duchessa Sforza for Cleobulus. These similarities suggest the existence of an exemplar key to the 1637 edition that readers were copying from. 99 1875: 192: “n’haveva [il] sig. Jacopo Bouchard gentilhuomo francese penetrati molti di quei nomi, che credo resti la nota tra i suoi manoscritti” (“the French gentleman Jean- Jacques Bouchard got to the bottom of many of the names in it, and I believe these identifications are still among his papers”). 100 1677: 196 (as mentioned in Gryphius [1710: 491]): “Ma già che habbiamo fatto mentione dell’Eudemia, non sarebbe gran fatto che, prima di compiere questo libro, mi risolvessi di pubblicarne la chiave, che in parte dall’autore era stata communicata a Giovan Battista Tamantini che governava la libraria del Sole” (“As long as I have mentioned Eudemia, it would not be a great effort on my part, before finishing my book, to publish a key, which was partially communicated by the author to Giovanni Battista Tamantini, who ran the bookstore at the [sign of the] Sun”). <?page no="37"?> 38 Introduction Fig. 5: “Clavis et index in Eudemiam.” MS Lat 306.1, Houghton Library, Harvard University. <?page no="38"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi: Works 39 Fig. 6: “Chiave dell’Eudemia del Signor Gio.Vittorio de Rossi” sewn into Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri decem (1645) © British Library Board, 12410.aa.16. <?page no="39"?> 40 Introduction Literary Models for Eudemia Ancient Models In a letter to Carlo Mazzei, written a year after the publication of the second edition of Eudemia in ten books, Rossi addressed his correspondent’s apparently negative reaction to his work: Doubtless some aspects of my Eudemia have recently caused you offense because, in recounting the vices of several people, I have more than once exceeded the bounds of moderation. But keep in mind the works of Horace, Juvenal, and others, who did the very same thing with the utmost freedom of speech and sentiment. Consider in particular Petronius Arbiter, whom I have attempted to imitate. As you can see, he rubbed the city with much salt and vinegar, just as Horace says about Lucilius. Finally, do not forget that my work is a satire, which I consider extremely difficult not to write in the face of mankind’s corrupt and irredeemable morals. 101 Implied in this passage is that, because of its criticism of contemporary mores, Eudemia was not universally well received. In his own defense, Rossi inserts himself into a long and venerable line of ancient Roman satirists, whose legendary libertas (freedom of speech), he argues, enabled them to criticize their own societies. Rossi names Petronius Arbiter as his most immediate model, whose Satyricon, with its episodic tale and mix of prose and verse, is the closest ancient work to Eudemia in terms of genre. As additional models he cites the verse satirists Horace, Juvenal, and Lucilius, and he closes this passage with a phrase inspired by a line in Juvenal’s first satire, “difficile est saturam non scribere” (“it is difficult not to write satire”). 102 Rossi invokes these ancient satirists as cover for any offense he may have caused. So what if he went a little too far in poking fun at his contemporaries (“non semel modestiae fines praeterierim”)? Is that really any different from what the greatest satiric poets from Rome’s illustrious past had done? Rossi’s explanation of his satiric pedigree, however, merits examination. First of all, Rossi is inserting himself into two distinct satiric traditions: prosimetric Menip- 101 Ep. ad div. 2.IX.V: “Non dubito quin superioribus diebus nonnihil in mea Eudemia sis offensus quod in referendis nonnullorum vitiis non semel modestiae fines praeterierim. Sed fac tibi veniat in mentem Horatii, Iuvenalis aliorumque qui summa cum liberatate tum verborum tum sententiarum in hoc eodem argumenti genere sunt versati; ac praesertim tibi subice Petronium Arbitrum quem ego imitando sum conatus effingere. Hic enim, ut videre potuisti, multo, ut de Lucilio Horatius inquit, aceto et sale urbem perfricuit. Denique memineris satyram eam esse quam in tot corruptis ac perditis hominum moribus non scribere difficillimum puto.” The reference to Horace is from Sat. I.X.3-4. 102 Juv. 1.30. <?page no="40"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 41 pean satire in the Petronian vein, 103 and the verse satire of Lucilius, Horace, and Juvenal. Second, and more important, he is pinning his defense on the question of libertas, which, out of all of the ancient predecessors he mentions, was only enjoyed by Lucilius. Lucilius’s poetry, which survived only in fragmentary form, is known primarily through Horace’s two books of satires, but also through the satires of Persius and Juvenal. A citizen of Republican Rome, member of the equestrian class, and friend of Scipio Aemilianus, Lucilius famously “gave free rein to his pugnacious temperament, attacking Scipio’s political enemies, his own literary opponents, and anyone he happened to dislike.” 104 In the satires of Horace, Persius, and Juvenal—reflecting a period of time spanning the late republic and early empire—Lucilius served as a model of freedom of speech that could only be aspired to by later authors, but that could not be emulated on account of the changed political situation. 105 As Niall Rudd explains regarding Horace, “In 39 B.C. as a pardoned Republican and a man of no social consequence he could not afford to give indiscriminate offense.” 106 Persius and Juvenal, who were writing, respectively, under the emperors Nero and Domitian (at least for Juvenal’s early satires), were constrained by a similar lack of libertas that found a creative outlet in satire. Additionally, although libertas is not an overt theme in the Satyricon, the novelistic genre—the fantastical voyage in the comic tradition—enabled Petronius to comment, albeit obliquely, on his own society. 107 More than 1,500 years separated Rossi from his 103 The genre itself is named for Menippus of Garda, who was supposed to have invented the style for his serio-comic writings (Costa 2005: x). Menippus is less known by his own writings than as the character Menippus in the satires of Lucian of Samosata, whose comic dialogues and colloquial speech “supplied an important lacuna in classical literature by providing [early modern authors] a model of prose satire” (Marsh 1998: 10). Besides Lucian, Menippean satire was received into Neo-Latin literature principally via Varro, Seneca, Apuleius, and Petronius (Tilg 2017: 323, referencing De Smet 1996: 60-8). De Smet (1996: 70) offers a useful working definition of humanist Menippean satire: “fictional (mostly first-person) narratives in prose interspersed with verse (which can, but need not be original), aimed at mockery and ridicule and often moralizing.” Tilg (2017: 323) explains that early modern authors composed their satires along two strains of Menippean satire, “Varronian” and “Petronian,” the former being “static, non-narrative, and focused on a single event” like Seneca’s Apocolocyntosis and the latter being “dynamic, narrative, and episodic” in the style of Petronius Arbiter’s Satyricon. 104 Rudd 1982: 86. 105 Davie 2011: viii. 106 Rudd 1982: 88. 107 For modern scholars, the identification of the author of the Satyricon with Petronius, Nero’s “arbiter of elegance,” is not a completely settled matter (OCD), but early modern authors did make this association. The Satyricon became a model for early modern romans à clef because humanist authors believed that Petronius was ridiculing the “depravities of <?page no="41"?> 42 Introduction ancient models, of course, yet he nevertheless composed his satire in similarly restrictive circumstances. Living in Rome under the absolutist rule of Pope Urban VIII, and within the constraints of the Counter-Reformation, finding one’s works on the Index of Prohibited Books was a real danger, and running afoul of orthodox views was a risky proposition. 108 A useful lens through which to view Rossi’s insertion of his work into the two satiric traditions, as well as his invocation of libertas, is what Howard Weinbrot terms the “harsh” and “soft” modes of satire. 109 Menippean satire is generally characterized as falling within the harsh mode; that is to say, it is an attack on societal vice via the slanderous mocking of people and customs. The verse satire of Lucilius, famous for its “censorious ridicule,” 110 is another example of this harsh mode. Horace, on the other hand—the verse satirist Rossi cites most frequently throughout his body of work—presented a soft mode of satire that eschewed personal attacks and offered a moral corrective by praising virtue. 111 In his letter to Mazzei, Rossi implies that, with Eudemia, he wants to have it both ways. On the one hand, he claims to be part of a long line of free speakers stretching all the way back to Lucilius, choosing as his most overt model the harsh genre of Menippean satire; on the other hand, he exhorts his readers to view him as a soft-spoken, latter-day Horace, who, meaning no harm, is just trying to point out society’s flaws in a humorous way in order to expunge or correct them. Rossi’s soft, Horatian stance, which becomes fully expressed in his 1646 letter to Mazzei, was not always in evidence. In fact, a close reading of Rossi’s correspondence over the entire publication process of Eudemia reveals that Rossi’s satiric persona underwent a consciously constructed transformation from harsh to soft as a strategy of self-defense in response to the reaction his satire generated. Nero’s court under fictional names” (De Smet 1996: 85; see also Grafton 1990: 242). In his 1694 edition of Satyricon, François Nodot published a key revealing the supposed identities of the various characters (Barclay and Fleming 1973: xxi; see also Grafton 1990: 245). Though the frequent banquets and the presence of charlatans in Eudemia are reminiscent of the Cena Trimalchionis (Trimalchio's Dinner), the most famous passage in Petronius’s novel, that portion of the Satyricon was not rediscovered until 1650 (and not published until 1664), so it would not have been a model for Rossi (De Smet 1996: 103-4). 108 Rossi’s contemporary Galileo Galilei, for example, frequented his same intellectual circles. Galileo appears as a character in Book Ten of Eudemia. 109 Weinbrot 2005: 17-8. This “harsh mode” is a product of what Weinbrot calls “Bion’s, Menippus’s, and Lucian’s Greek outrage” (23), a reference to the satirists Bion of Borysthenes, Menippus of Garda, and Lucian of Samosata. 110 Rudd 1982: 92. 111 Weinbrot 2005: 18, 24. <?page no="42"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 43 In two separate letters to Giovanni Zaratino Castellini written in the early 1630s, Rossi explicitly describes Eudemia as rendering humorous, yet accurate, depictions of his milieu: “This satire, or, if you will, this history, which is what I call it” 112 ; and “My satire—or rather my history … for although I sprinkled my stories with made-up elements, they are true and they happened during my lifetime.” 113 Rossi’s conflation of history and satire underscores what Griffin describes as the genres’ shared referential nature and rhetorical purpose: “Like the satirist, the historian distinguishes between the virtuous and the wicked, and perpetuates the memory of both.” 114 Rossi’s insistence on the truth of his satire also calls to mind another literary model for Eudemia in the harsh mode, which he does not overtly acknowledge: Lucian’s Ἀληθῆ διηγήματα (A True Story), in which a first-person narrator recounts the “true story” of his fantastical voyage to fictional lands. 115 Unlike Lucian’s narrator, who destabilizes his narrative from the outset by declaring that he is a liar who is “writing about things which I have neither seen nor had to do with nor heard from others,” 116 Rossi puts himself forward as a truth teller whose historia, he insists, is based on things that actually happened. While he might be saying this for rhetorical effect, demonstrating his familiarity with Lucian’s tale, his claim to truth telling is nevertheless borne out by the fact that, unlike Lucian’s fantasy landscapes—peopled with strange creatures and characters from ancient history and mythology—Rossi’s Eudemia presents characters who can, to a large extent, be traced to Rossi’s circle of friends. In the same letters to Castellini, referenced above, Rossi tells his friend that he was encouraged to publish his satire and that the censors “were said to have enjoyed both the subject and the style, and did not deem it unworthy of publication.” 117 But communications immediately following Eudemia’s 1637 publication indicate that its reception was not entirely positive. Particularly relevant are two letters, both from the year 1638, to Cardinal Francesco Barberini (dated 112 Ep. ad div. 1.III.XV: “Hac in satyra, seu si malis historia (ita ego eam appello).” 113 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.XVI: “satyram meam, vel historiam potius … nam quamvis quae in ea narrantur mendaciunculis asperserim vera sunt ac me vivo contigerunt.” 114 Griffin (1994: 124) is referring to the ancient “exemplary” theory of history, which the Renaissance inherited. 115 David Marsh (1998: 2-6) explains that Lucian was appreciated in the early modern period as a master of rhetoric, a moral philosopher, an iconoclast, and a “provocative satirist”: “One of Lucian’s most cherished literary ideals is that of parrhēsia, or outspokenness—a trait that links Lucian with two of the most outspoken humanists of the Renaissance, Lorenzo Valla and Desiderius Erasmus.” 116 Lucian and Harmon 1953: 253. 117 Ep. ad div. 1.IV.XVI: “Qui censores delectati dicuntur et argumento et stylo neque indignam eam iudicarunt, quae typis mandetur.” <?page no="43"?> 44 Introduction March 31) and to Clemente Merlino, judge of the Roman Rota (dated October 25), each of which reads like an apologia for the novel. 118 The common theme of these letters is Rossi’s desire to mitigate any offense caused by his satire. In both of them he attempts to distance himself from his work, while at the same time standing by his use of humor to expose and expunge immoral behavior. The seeds of the rhetorical defense that Rossi would put forth eight years later, in his letter to Mazzei, are found in these early justifications. After an initial (and implausible) denial that he was the author of Eudemia, 119 Rossi’s letter to Cardinal Barberini addresses complaints he heard about his satire being “pernicious, corrupting of morals, and damaging to the dignity and reputation of those associated with the [papal] court.” 120 Rossi stresses that his book is a work of fiction, that it does not refer to any real people, and that 118 To Barberini (Ep. ad div. 1.VI.III); to Merlino (Ep. ad div. 2.VI.V); see also Gerboni 111-3. IJsewijn (1999: 140) is of the opinion that, unlike John Barclay’s response to the reception of his Euphormionis lusinini satyricon, Rossi “never had to write an apology, as did Barclay. As far as we know, a few friendly letters cleared the air.” While it is true that Rossi never published a formal apologia, his letters to Barberini and Merlino, which argue thoroughly in his own defense, read as such. In fact, in an exchange of letters between Barthold Nihus and Fabio Chigi in August and September of 1644, the letter to Francesco Barberini is explicitly referred to as an “apologia pro Eudemia,” and there was some concern about printing the letter as written. In the same series of letters, Chigi gives Nihus permission to emend the letter (BAV Chig. I.V.170: fol. 150r-151r, 152rv, 153rv, 154r-155r; and BAV Chig. a.i.44: fol. 274rv, 276r). Francesco Barberini’s reaction to the letter may well have been influenced by the German humanist Lucas Holstenius’s negative view of it (Holstenius was a member of the Cardinal’s household in Rome). Rossi apparently expressed concern to Chigi about this opinion, which Chigi mentions in a 1643 letter to Rossi (BAV Chig. a.I.44: fol. 147rv): “Significasti mihi aliquando Holstenium contra Eudemiam movisse omnes lapides” (“You once told me that Holstenius had left no stone unturned in opposing Eudemia”). Moreover, Incisa della Rocchetta (1949: 218-9, n. 9) cites a 1642 letter from Rossi (BAV Chig. A.III.56: fol. 493r), in which he tells Chigi that Holstenius claimed the novel was “Calvini Institutionibus perniciosiorem” (“more pernicios than John Calvin’s Institutes) and that its author should receive the death penalty (“auctorem per summos cruciatus vita spoliandum”). 119 Ep. ad div. 1.VI.III: “Cepi dolorem quantum maximum animo capere possum cum est ad me perlatum esse aliquos qui tibi pro certo affirmare audeant meo ex ingenio librum illum prodiisse qui nunc recens emanavit in vulgus, cui titulus est Eudemia, neque alio argumento ducuntur nisi quod is Ianum Nicium Erythraeum esse auctorem venditet” (“I was pained as much as my soul could possibly bear when I received word that there were people who had the gall to tell you that I was the author of that recently published book titled Eudemia, and they provide no other proof than that the author is named Ianus Nicius Erythraeus”). 120 Ibid.: “perniciosum, corruptorem morum, famae aulicorum ac dignitatis eversorem.” It can be no coincidence that this language closely parallels the Venetian Council of Ten’s application of the rules imposed by the Index to the printing industry in Venice, that in any work “non s’attrovi cosa alcuna contro la Relgione, nè contra Principi, nè contra buoni costumi” (cited in Brown 1891: 214). <?page no="44"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 45 only a person of ill will would associate the morally questionable characters in his satire with anyone in real life (a statement that is a complete reversal of his earlier claims to truth-telling). Most importantly, he makes the case that he is not narrating acts of immorality in a witty and elegant manner in order to praise such acts, but to make fun of them, or rather, to hiss at them and drive them away. 121 Rossi is not yet explicitly referencing Horace’s corrective laughter, but this is certainly implied. Rossi’s letter to Clemente Merlino is longer and more substantial, putting forth a detailed rationale for his satire (“totam libri mei rationem”). His letter builds to a defense from an initial posture of distancing and minimizing, in which he claims that the satire was not his idea; his friends made him write it; it was meant to be seen only by a few people; and it merely consists of “ridiculae fabellae” (“ridiculous little stories”). For the first time, Rossi also introduces the notion, which he would go on to repeat on other occasions, that two books were left out of the 1637 edition, implying that these “missing” books would have clarified his intent or softened people’s reaction to it. 122 By the end of the letter, Rossi embraces a full-throated defense of his use of satire to expunge immorality from society: What more suitable, useful, and agreeable means of censure can be found, that can effectively insinuate itself into the minds of men, than that which exposes, in fictional characters—with real names concealed, times and locations changed—the sinful dispositions of the mind, as if through fun and jest? Ancient writings testify to the fact that this was always lawful and permitted according to both Greek and Roman custom. Was it not Horace who said, “Who is to prevent someone from telling the truth, as long as he is laughing”? “But,” they insist, “in your discourse you present the vile passions of certain private individuals, passions that are filthy even to think about let alone recount, on full display as if in living color.” Those people are perhaps among 121 Ibid.: “non ad eum finem ut laudetur sed ut rideatur, vel potius, ut tanquam odio, vituperatione atque etiam supplicio dignum exsibiletur explodeturque.” 122 “Etenim ex decem libris quibus universum illud opus constabat octo tantum in vulgus emisit” (“Besides, of the ten books that made up the whole work, only eight were published”). I agree with Gerboni’s (1899: 115) assessment that it is unlikely there were two additional books accidentally left out of the 1637 printing, since many of the additions and corrections in the 1645 edition were precipitated by reader reactions to Eudemia. Interestingly, a bookseller named Thaumas, an interlocutor in the first of his Dialogi, informs a character named Erythraeus that his two lost books have been found and are going to be published: “libros illos duos ab impressore amissos esse inventos et propediem edendos” (“those two book have been found, which had been lost by the printer, and will be published soon”). The Dialogi was first published in 1642, which is during the time period when the Elzeviers were sitting on the second edition that included Rossi’s manuscripts for Books Nine and Ten. <?page no="45"?> 46 Introduction those whom it pleases to pursue these base and shameful acts, rather than to run away once they have partaken in them. So what if these acts are, as you say, foul, execrable, and worthy of every punishment? They nevertheless contain a certain hilarity that has the power to spur useful laughter and, most importantly, to expose and mock the schemes and tricks of shameless men. 123 Most central to Rossi’s defense of his work in this letter to Merlino is the notion of “useful laughter,” which is an inherent part of the soft Horatian satiric mode. Horace’s embrace of wit and humor as a corrective to societal ills is clearly expressed, for example, in Sat. I.X.14-5. 124 This spirit, fortified by Rossi’s almost direct quotation in his letter of Horace’s Sat. I.I.24-5, is congruent with the author’s desire to be seen not as a harsh mocker like Lucilius, Petronius, or Lucian, but as a gentle humorist like Horace, who desires to guide people to good behavior through laughter. Indeed, taking a cue from the reaction to his satire and his apologiae in defense of it, Rossi weaves this Horatian satiric mode into his expanded 1645 edition. Books Nine and Ten are more generic in their humor—targeting caricatures or ridiculous archetypes rather than actual people—and they contain more instances of praise, the most notable being a 177-line poem praising Humanus, his pseudonym for Pope Urban VIII. What is more, the Horatian satiric mode is personified in a character named Icosippus, an accomplished scholar who was criticized by a few scolds for a certain book he published—in which he took to task the questionable morals of certain individuals—but then defends himself in a long speech about the virtue of useful laughter. That Icosippus is a stand-in for Rossi himself is clear, as is the presence of the themes at the heart of the apologia as encapsulated in the Merlino letter. 123 “Quaenam autem aptior, quae utilior, quae suavior quaeque efficacius in animos hominum influat, reprehendendi ratio reperiri potest, quam quae suppressis nominibus mutatisque locis ac temporibus in fictis personis vitiosas animi affectiones, tanquam per ludum iocumque, coarguit? Id semper tum Graecorum tum Romanorum moribus licitum permissumque fuisse veterum monumenta testantur. Tum, ‘ridentes dicere verum, quis vetat? ’ inquit Horatius. ‘At tu,’ iterum aiunt, ‘foedas privatorum quorundam libidines, turpes cogitatu, non solum memoratu oratione tua, tanquam penicillo expressas, ante oculos statuis atque proponis.’ At isti fortasse ex eorum numero erunt quos turpia isthaec flagitia sectari magis quam fugere facta delectet. Sint illa quidem (ut dicitis) impura exsecrabilia sint suppliciis omnibus digna; at quaedam in illis festivitas ines, quae ad excitandum utiliter risum et ad improborum insidias et machinationes detegendas eludendasque in primis valeant.” 124 “ridiculum acri / fortius et melius magnas plerumque secat res” (“great issues are usually resolved more forcefully and more effectively by wit than by castigation”). Translation from Rudd 1982: 93. <?page no="46"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 47 Contemporary Models Despite Rossi’s declared indebtedness to Petronius’s Satyricon, 125 a more direct model for Eudemia was John Barclay’s Euphormionis lusinini satyricon, published in two parts (in 1605 and 1607 respectively). 126 The most significant Neo-Latin Menippean satire of Rossi’s time, Euphormionis lusinini satyricon tells the story of Euphormio, a traveler from the idyllic fictional land of Lusinia, who is shocked by the corruption he finds in the land where he has arrived: seventeenth-century Europe. Part One of Barclay’s satire consists of the first-person narration of the title character Euphormio’s travels throughout Europe where, as David Fleming summarizes, he encounters many of the social and professional classes of the early seventeenth century … [and] discovers through bitter experience the defects of all those whom he meets: the jealousy and internal rivalry of the clergy, the hypocrisy of physicians, the inconstancy of friends and lovers, the ostentation and selfishness of the nobility, the stupidity of rustics, the degeneracy of the learned. 127 Fleming describes Part One of Euphormionis lusinini satyricon as “purely episodic” with short and self-contained incidents, ending without much advancement in plot or character development, and with Euphormio having “achieved nothing but disillusionment and bitterness.” 128 Part Two coheres much more as a narrative, consisting of “a few large sections, each of them embracing a considerable number of interrelated incidents” that together move the plot toward a singular goal: Euphormio’s reception and establishment in the court of King Tessaranactus (King James I) in the court of Scolimorrhodia (England). 129 Eudemia’s first-person narrative in the voice of Flavius Vopiscus Niger; the nonerotic nature of his main characters; his criticism of thieves, moneylenders, priests, quack doctors, and charlatans; and the disjointed, inconclusive nature of the narrative, are all reminiscent of Barclay’s satire, particularly Part One. 125 Before Barclay, humanist authors did not tend to imitate the Satyricon directly. There were various reasons for this, one of which is that it was available to them only in a very fragmentary form (De Smet 1996: 241), and another is because the erotic nature of the work made readers and would-be imitators cautious about declaring open adherence to Petronius (Barclay and Fleming 1973: xxiv). 126 De Smet 1996: 32-3. The first early modern Menippean satire was Justus Lipsius’s 1581 Satyra Menippaea somnium (ibid.: 33). For Barclay’s Euphormionis lusinini satyricon and Argenis as inspirations for Eudemia see also Giachino 2002: 190. 127 Barclay and Fleming 1973: xvii. 128 Ibid.: xviii. 129 Ibid.: xix-xx. <?page no="47"?> 48 Introduction Barclay’s Euphormionis lusinini satyricon was immensely popular, appearing in almost fifty editions, including multiple translations published over the course of a century. 130 It was an important milestone in European literature for at least two reasons: first, as Fleming writes, “with the single exception of Don Quixote … [it] was the most important work of prose fiction published in Europe in the first decade of the seventeenth-century” 131 ; second, because it was the first major roman à clef, a genre that remained popular for the remainder of the century. 132 Satire’s referential nature, pointing to people and events outside itself, provided fertile ground for the development of such novels. In the words of Dustin Griffin, “Satire likes to name names; it attracts ‘keys.’” 133 Even in this aspect, Eudemia was no exception. In the section above on Eudemia’s publication history—where Rossi’s 1646 letter to Kaspar Schoppe is cited, in which he explained how the book came to be published in Leiden—we saw how Rossi situates his work within the genres of Menippean and verse satire. However, in that letter he additionally claims the genre of romantic fiction in the vein of Argenis, Barclay’s most famous work. Barclay’s novel tells the story of the princess Argenis, daughter of Meleander King of Sicily, 134 who is secretly betrothed to Poliarchus but must fend off two other suitors, the valiant Archombrotus and the villain Radirobanes. The narrative arc of Argenis, with its plot driven by obstacles—including rivalries for her affection, pirates, shipwrecks, wars, conspiracies, poison, duplicity, and disguise—that separate the two lovers and delay their happiness, is typical of the romantic genre. 135 In addition to being a romance, Argenis is a political allegory depicting the sixteenth-century wars of religion in France. 136 Barclay combined the romantic and historical genres to create a wholly new one, the political romance, and did this so successfully and with such a high degree of artistry that his novel enjoyed enormous popularity, going through more than sixty editions, including translations into more than ten different languages. 137 130 Ibid.: ix. For a list of editions of Euphormionis lusinini satyricon see ibid.: 355-7. 131 Ibid.: ix; Fleming 1967: 97-8. 132 Barclay and Fleming 1973: ix. 133 Griffin 1994: 120. 134 A facing page Latin-English edition is available: Barclay, Riley, and Huber, 2004. 135 For a summary of the plot see Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 12-6. For more discussion of sources for Argenis that inform the plot see Glomski and Moreau 2016: 60-1. 136 Fleming 1967: 83. 137 Morrish 2003: 238; Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 3. For a list of the editions and translations of Argenis see Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 51-8. For a detailed look at the sources for Argenis see ibid.: 26-30. <?page no="48"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 49 Similarities between Eudemia and Argenis exist, but they are few in number. For example, both are extended works of Latin fiction combining prose and verse, both were written for an elite, intellectual audience, and are replete with allusions to ancient literature, and both are romans à clef. On the whole, however, Rossi’s comparison of his work to Argenis is telling mostly in its inaccuracy. Most significantly, Eudemia is almost entirely void of romantic elements (the inserted tale of Olinda and Philotas in Book Four being the one exception). The protagonists are three men—the two Romans and their guide Gallonius—who harbor no romantic or sexual interest for each other. The episodic, haphazard plot has no overarching narrative structure and leads to no real conclusion. In addition, while Barclay, in the assessment of Mark T. Riley, treats the issues of his day in “an elevated and serious tone, a great imaginative power, and an acute judgment in the treatment of political and religious questions,” 138 Rossi’s observations about the inhabitants on the island of Eudemia are, on the whole, petty and mocking rather than insightful and advisory, and the situations he describes are either too specific and ludicrous, or too commonplace (e.g., attacks against priests and moneylenders), to be applied as general moral lessons. Even the two authors’ use of the key technique differs significantly: As Riley explains, the main characters in Barclay’s Argenis perform the function played in the real world by certain persons, but they are not portraits of the persons themselves. Meleander, the king of Sicily … is not a portrait of Henry III of France, but a character who labors under the same kinds of difficulties as those of Henry III. 139 By contrast, a large number of the pseudonymous characters in Eudemia map onto specific historical people, most of whom were in his own circle of acquaintance—and more than half of whom are profiled in his Pinacotheca. Because Rossi’s mocking and inconclusive Eudemia resembles Barclay’s Euphormionis lusinini satyricon much more than it does his Argenis, it is telling that Rossi does not specifically mention the Euphormionis lusinini satyricon as his model, especially since we know that he read it. Rossi’s biography of John Barclay, included in the third book of his Pinacotheca, provides a clue as to why this might be the case: John Barclay is among those non-Roman and even non-Italian [rhetoricians] who have devoted themselves to the study of Latin letters. I have read his Argenis, and I 138 Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 11. 139 Ibid.: 24. Many of the supporting characters do represent real people, such as Ibburanes (Maffeo Barberini), Hieroleander (Girolamo Aleandro, the younger), and Nicopompus ( John Barclay himself). <?page no="49"?> 50 Introduction have also had a taste of part of his Euphormio, before it was against the law for bookstores to sell it or for people to have it at home and read it. 140 Rossi’s mention of the limited access booksellers and consumers had to the Euphormionis lusinini satyricon refers to the fact that Part Two of the work was placed on the Index of Prohibited Books almost immediately after its publication in 1607. 141 This is because John Barclay, a Roman Catholic but a “partisan of British interests,” wrote critically of the Jesuits and of the Pope. 142 Comparing his work to Argenis, instead of to his more likely model Euphormionis lusinini satyricon, benefited Rossi in two ways: he could distance himself from a controversial title; at the same time, by associating his work with an enormously popular and successful novel that, by the time of Eudemia’s 1637 publication date, existed in at least thirteen Latin editions and twelve translations, 143 he could make Eudemia more attractive to potential publishers, booksellers, and readers. Similar to his soft Horatian turn discussed above, Rossi’s association of Eudemia with Barclay’s romance, as opposed to his harsh (and officially condemned) Euphormis lusinini satyricon, was a way to remove some of the bite from his satire. Translating Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Latin Gian Vittorio Rossi is a very approachable author. He was educated in the Jesuit tradition based on a Classical curriculum, which provided him a solid foundation in the liberal arts. After completing his schooling, but finding it difficult to 140 Pinacotheca tertia 1648: 74: “In iis [oratoribus] qui extra Urbem Romam atque adeo extra Italiam Latinis literis studium suum dederunt Joannes Barclaius numeratur, cuius ego legi Argedinem et partem etiam Euphormionis degustavi tum cum nondum lata lex erat ne bibliopolae cuipiam liceret eum vendere aut cuiquam domi habere ac legere.” It is likely that Rossi knew Barclay personally while Barclay was living in Rome from 1615 to 1623, under the patronage of Pope Paul V and moving in the same literary circles (Barclay and Fleming 1973: xiv). 141 A Papal Nuncio ordered all copies of the 1607 edition seized and destroyed, but another edition was published in 1609 (copying the 1607 edition) and circulated more widely despite its listing on the Index (Barclay and Fleming 1973: xiii-xiv, xxxv). In 1610 Barclay published a defense of his work titled Euphormionis satyrici apologia pro se (Parisiis: Apud Franciscum Huby, 1610; often published as the third part of the Euphormionis lusinini satyricon), in which he defends his work as an “innocentem ludum” (“innocent sport”) saying that his aim was to denounce many different shameful acts through a pleasing tale (“per suavitatem fabulae multa et disparia flagitia damnare”), and that he was impugning the whole world (“accusare totum orbem”) not any individual or group in particular (8-9). This tactic appears to have worked since, by 1615, Barclay had secured an invitation to Rome from Pope Paul V. 142 Barclay and Fleming 1973: xiii. 143 Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 51-8. <?page no="50"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 51 establish himself in a professional career, Rossi recommitted himself to humanistic study. He found his niche in the Accademia degli Umoristi, the intellectual and artistic community associated with the court of Urban VIII. To support his private studies, Rossi built up his own library of Classical authors, as is evident in a 1604 letter to the Flemish printer Jan Moretus, in which he asked the latter to locate as many works as possible “that relate to the humanities, as they are called,” and to send them to him. 144 Authors such as Cicero, Plautus, Quintilian, Livy, Sallust, Virgil, Horace, Ovid, and Terence were the inspiration and models for Rossi’s prose and poetry. 145 Rossi mastered these studies and was recognized by his contemporaries as a superior Latinist, even surpassing certain renowned fourteenthand fifteenth-century Italian humanists in the eyes of his friends. Gabriel Naudé, for example, wrote of Rossi’s Latin: Everything you write, whether in prose or verse, so grabs and delights me that, compared to you, my former favorites Bembo and Poliziano now seem plain and unaccomplished. Everything you say inspires my own sweet style. Pytho herself resides on your lips to such an extent that, in all of the ways you emulate the ancients in every other virtue, you too are second to none of them in speaking and writing. 146 In a dedication to Leone Allacci’s work De templis Graecorum recentioribus ad Ioannem Morinum, Barthold Nihus ( Joan Blaeu’s editor) addresses Rossi as “Perillustri domino Iano Nicio Erythraeo, aevi nostri Varroni ac Tullio” (“To the most illustrious Ianus Nicius Erythraeus, the Varro and [Cicero] of our time”). 147 Rossi’s Latin continued to enjoy this level of acclaim even after his death. In his Elogii d’huomini letterati, Lorenzo Crasso (b. 1623) dedicated a profile to the “Gentilhuomo Romano chiamato Gio: Vittorio de’ Rossi” noting that Rossi acquired through his studies “the purity of the Latin language.” 148 The renowned German jurist and philosopher Johann Christian Gottlieb Heineccius (1681-1741) singled Rossi out as one of the few humanists to have achieved 144 Ep. ad div. 1.I.VII: “qui ad humanitatis (ut vocant) studia pertineant.” 145 For information on humanistic education in Italy, including the Jesuit curriculum, see Grendler 1991. 146 Gabrielis Naudaei … Epistolae (1667: 694-5): “quaecumque prosa aut versa oratione scribis, ita me capiunt et delectant omnia, ut prae te uno veteres meae deliciae, Bembi et Politiani, videantur mihi nunc illiberales esse et infaceti, nempe meum mel spirat quidquid loqueris et ipsa Pytho tuis in labiis sessitat, ut quemadmodum in omni alia virtute veteres aemularis, ita etiam dicendi scribendique facultate ipsorum nemini concedes.” See also Gerboni 1899: 35. 147 Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. 148 In Venetia: Per Combi & La Noù, 1666: 389: “la purità della lingua Latina.” <?page no="51"?> 52 Introduction Ciceronian eloquence, particularly in the epistolary genre. 149 Prospero Mandosio (1643-1724) had similarly fulsome praise for Rossi’s Latin in his work on Roman authors titled Bibliotheca Romana, seu, Romanorum scriptorum centuriae: [Rossi] had a most elegant, sweet, and pleasant way of speaking that was commended by every manner of praise from all quarters; they say that he earned this glory because he spoke Latin purely, pristinely, ornately, elegantly, and in a truly Latin manner, so much so that the wisest and most learned men said that whoever needed to learn to write Latin should learn that skill from Ianus Nicius Erythraeus. 150 Along with these explicit statements of appreciation for Rossi’s prose, admiration for his Latin is evident in instances of unacknowledged imitation, especially in Germany. The German jurist, poet, and composer Kaspar Ziegler, for example, quotes almost word for word from Rossi’s description of a dishonest soldier of a religious military order in the beginning of Eudemia Book Eight for a section of his discourse on the subject of unscrupulous lawyers (rabulae) titled Rabulistica, sive, De artibus rabulariis dissertatio. 151 Similarly, the German Calvinist theologian and historian Daniel Gerdes quotes almost directly from Rossi’s description of a carpenter named Baldoccius in Book Six to describe a Minorite (a Franciscan friar of the Order of Friars Minor) named Franciscus in his Historia reformationis, sive, Annales evangelii saeculo XVI. 152 149 Heineccius (1743: 195) states the following in a section on letter writing in his work Fundamenta stili cultioris: “quae non eruditionis ostendendae sed testandi amoris aut animorum conciliandorum causa scribi solent, in quo genere scribendi Cicero, Plinius, Paullus Manutius, Marcus Antonius Muretus, Latinus Latinius, Ianus Nic[ius] Erythraeus, Aon[ius] Palearius, Petrus Cunaeus regnant” (“[there were those] who wrote letters not to show off their erudition, but to demonstrate their love of Latin or to win favor. Cicero, Pliny, Paolo Manuzio, Marc Antoine Muret, Latino Latini, Ianus Nicius Erythraeus, Aonio Paleario, and Petrus Cunaeus are the best in this genre”). 150 Mandosio 1682-92: 251: “Habuit elegantissimum, dulcissimum amoenissimumque orationis genus laudibus omnibus omnique ex parte commendandum; hanc etenim illi gloriam debitam esse dicunt, quod pure‚ dilucide, ornate, eleganter et vere Latine loquitur, ita ut homines sapientissimi atque doctissimi dixerint, cum sit opus addiscendi Latine scribere, a Iano Nicio Erythrao addiscendum esse.” 151 Kaspar Ziegler (1621-1690): “Principio cum artem eam exercere incipiunt egentes pannosi, alieni indigentes pane vicitant emendicato ab iis qui suarum coenarum reliquiis pauperum inopiam alunt, cum ecce ex improviso sese extollunt et auri montes adepti ex Iris fiunt Croesi vel Attali atque aedes magnificentissimas magno precio comparatas Attalicis peristromatis ornant, penum, granarium, cellam vinariam instruunt, ampliorem familiam cogunt, quotidie exornant, splendide magnificeque triclinium, nullum vos exponunt nis argenteum; cereales mensas dant, ita ut quotidie Herculi sacra fieri existimes” (ch. XVI, § 19; Dresdae: Sumptibus Michaelis Güntheri, 1685: 116-7). 152 Daniel Gerdes (1689-1765): “In urbe Harlemensi Florentius quidam Minorita, fide ac simplicitate magis ad veterem illorum hominum simplicium famam quam ad eum morem, <?page no="52"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 53 Even into the nineteenth century, some compendia of Latin texts included passages from Rossi’s work as exemplary specimens of Latin prose. For example, a French publication from 1818, titled Leçons latines modernes de littérature et de morale, showcases as models two passages from Eudemia and one passage from Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium; these same passages are found in a similar German publication from 1825. 153 Despite his mastery of Ciceronian eloquence, Rossi became more and more drawn, as Gerboni explains, to the “conversar familiare” (conversational style) of the Roman playwrights Plautus and Terence, because he appreciated their humor, levity, and their ability to observe and represent everyday life and customs. 154 To quote Rossi’s own words: I began to take up Cicero again, and, even more frequently, Plautus and Terence, since I desired nothing more than lightheartedness and joyfulness; you can tell that their poetry has colored my speech. I felt that reading these authors made such an impression on me that entire pages of their works have stuck in my memory. 155 In writing prose satire with humorous situations and rapid-fire dialogue, humanist authors often looked to playwrights like Plautus and Terence to provide models of what Jürgen Leonhardt terms “unforced communication”; that is, informal, everyday language that reflects how people might have spontaneously communicated with each other in private. 156 Rossi’s mastery of this comic style is recognized in a note by Gabriel Naudé at the end of the manuscript key he penned for the 1637 Eudemiae libri VIII: Regarding his style, his entire vocabulary is of good quality, taken from the more ancient and pure Latinity of Plautus and Terence, his diction is not altogether native or Roman, but his entire way of speaking is unhurried, plain, and as if crawling on the ground. 157 qui nunc increbuit, referendus” (Groningae & Bremae: Apud Spandaw & Rump, 1749, vol. 3: 183-4). 153 Noël and de Laplace 1818: 99-101, 460-2; Philippi 1825: 12-3, 17-8, 114-7. The Philippi book looks to be a translation or adaptation of Noël & de Laplace since it contains the same passages. 154 Gerboni 1899: 90-1. 155 Ep. ad div. 2.VIII.VI: “coepi rursus Ciceronem in manus sumere ac frequentius etiam Plautum atque Terentium; cum nullius rei ita essem cupidus, ut hilaritatis laetitiaeque; quorum quasi cantu colorata mea tibi videri potest oratio. Atque adeo me affici eorum lectione sentiebam, ut integrae paginae mihi in memoria haererent.” 156 Leonhardt 2013: 78-9. 157 “Clavis et index in Eudemiam” (Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Lat 306.1): “Quod ad stylum attinet, vocabula omnia bona et de antiquiore purioreque Plauti atque <?page no="53"?> 54 Introduction Rossi’s preference for Plautus is obvious in Eudemia where the Roman playwright is his most quoted author, with more than 180 direct citations (drawn mostly from, in order, Miles gloriosus, Menaechmi, Pseudolus, and Curculio). Rossi’s penchant for examples of colloquial Latin from other authors besides Plautus is also evident. He quotes almost directly from Cicero (at least 130 times, mostly from In Verrem, De oratore, and Brutus), Horace (at least 85 times, mostly from the Satires, Epistles, and Odes), and Terence (at least 60 times, mostly from Eunuchus, Heauton timorumenos, Andria, and Adelphoe). Other authors quoted in Eudemia are Ovid, Caesar, Sallust, Statius, and Seneca, as well as an extensive passage from the medieval author Alain de Lille. 158 Rossi’s Latin is very clear and can be read using a Classical Latin dictionary such as Lewis & Short. For the most part, even his most obscure words can be found in such dictionaries, although for a few it was necessary to consult Du Cange, Glossarium mediae et infimae Latinitatis (for example, ocularia: spectacles). Rossi’s prose is generally easy to follow; his sentences are rarely very long, and even the longer ones are well structured with clear subordinating clauses. I did find, however, that, if I became tripped up on a word or a phrase in the middle of an otherwise straightforward sentence, it frequently turned out to be a word or phrase that was taken from Plautus. Stylistically Rossi is delightful, frequently indulging in copia verborum, which is a characteristic of Renaissance Latin comedy in general. Indeed, Rossi seems to enjoy supplying every word in his lexical arsenal to describe something or someone vividly. Good examples can be found in Book Two when he describes the prostitute Nanna as “subdola, blanda, fraudulenta, avara”; and in Book Six when he uses three different words to refer to Zancha the broker: “conciliator,” “intercessor,” and “proxeneta.” He similarly indulges in the repetition of verbs in doubles or triples, such as “rogat, instat” or “rogat, instat, urget.” Additionally, he is prone to reusing phrases, for example, in Book Three (54) he describes Micrus of Pesaro as “in lacessendo respondendoque acutior,” a phrase that is also found, in various permutations, in his other works: in the Pinacotheca he describes Antonio Bosio as “in lacessendo respondendoque peracutus” and Arrigo Falconio as “in lacessendo respondendoque argutus.” Repeating patterns and phrases such as these, together with his frequent borrowings from his favorite authors and his obvious enjoyment of language, allow the reader to develop a sense of Rossi’s characteristic voice. Terentii Latinitate hausta, dictio non adeo nativa ac Romana, totum autem genus dicendi languidum, humile ac velut humi serpens.” 158 In terms of frequency, my calculation differs from Maragoni (2005: 101), who lists Plautus as Rossi’s fourth most frequently cited author (his first three are Cicero, Terence, and Caesar, with Horace in sixth place). <?page no="54"?> Literary Models for Eudemia 55 One of the biggest challenges in translating Eudemia was settling on a tone that felt appropriate to the text. My reverence for the Latin language (combined with the fact that the best Latin-English dictionaries, like Lewis & Short, were compiled in the nineteenth century) resulted in overly formal and somewhat stilted first drafts. Ultimately, I was advised not to lose sight of the fact that the work is a satire, and thus to approach it as a humorous novel that should be enjoyable to read. That advice, combined with Rossi’s frequent quotations from Plautus, and Naudé’s description of his prose as “crawling on the ground” (“humi serpens”), guided my final decisions as to the informal, conversational tone of the translation (one example being my frequent use of contractions like “don’t” and “I’m” instead of “do not” and “I am”). On the other hand, I tried not to overcorrect and become too informal, deciding, for example, on “urinate” instead of “piss” for “meiere” in a poem in Book One (20). I hope I have achieved a balance that is true to the original, while still being a fun read, and reflects the lightheartedness and joyfulness Rossi so loved. Text of Eudemiae libri decem The present edition is based on the text Rossi himself prepared: the 1645 Eudemiae libri decem, published by Joan Blaeu, collated with the 1637 Elzevier first edition, Eudemiae libri VIII. The 1740 Fischer edition is not considered here. For the transcribed text I availed myself of the University of Kentucky’s online version 159 (based on the 1645 edition in ten books) because, thanks to the efforts of Lina IJsewijn-Jacobs, it was readily available in digital form (though I replace IJsewijn-Jacobs’s section and paragraph numbering system with my own). I reference IJsewijn’s notes, where appropriate, and point out any disagreement. Since IJsewijn’s was a preliminary effort and not intended for publication in its current form, I do not note any textual errors on the assumption that they were inadvertent and would have been corrected. A few words about the spelling and typesetting conventions in the text are warranted. Both the 1637 Elzevier and the 1645 Blaeu editions reflect early modern Latin spelling conventions, for example coelum and foetus for the more Classical caelum and fetus. I have opted for “radical” Classicization as endorsed by IJsewijn and Sacré (I also modernize punctuation per their recommendation). 160 In addition, both editions distinguish between the vocalic u and i and their consonantal equivalents v and j, presenting spellings like brevibus, ejus, and dejicere. One difference, however, is that for the vocalic u in its capital 159 Eud. 1998: https: / / mcl.as.uky.edu/ liber-i 160 IJsewijn and Sacré 1990: vol. 2, 472-4. <?page no="55"?> 56 Introduction letter form in the initial position, the 1637 edition has u (e.g., Ubi) where the 1645 edition has v (e.g., Vbi). Both editions use the long s for lowercase letters in the initial and medial positions, giving us ſine fuiſſe, but Sed and primus. I have dispensed with the long j and ſ altogether and normalize vocalic and consonantal u in all instances. One important typesetting difference between the two editions is that the 1637 edition has frequent instances of abbreviation, with a final m often appearing as a macron over the preceding vowel (ignotū), the diphthong æ sometimes appearing as an e-cedilla, and -q; often standing in for -que. Except for the ampersand (&) few abbreviations appear in the 1645 edition. All abbreviations, including the ampersand, are expanded silently. The spelling in the translation is standard American English following Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th edition, and the punctuation generally follows the Chicago Manual of Style, 17th edition. Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes Story Outline Eudemia is set around 31 CE in the immediate aftermath of the arrest and execution of Lucius Aelius Sejanus, commander of the Praetorian Guard, who was accused of trying to usurp power from Tiberius while the emperor ruled in absentia from Capri (an event known as the Conspiracy of Sejanus). The protagonists, Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus, flee Rome by sea but become shipwrecked on an island named Eudemia located off the coast of Mauritania. The story represents Flavius Vopiscus Niger’s first-person account of what the two Romans see and hear on the island. As Giachino observes, the first seven books of Eudemia reflect a week on the island, with each book describing a single day. 161 The action in the eighth book (the conclusion of the 1637 editio princeps) describes the two protagonists’ voyage to a neighboring island and takes place over an unspecified period of time. The ninth book (of the two added to the 1645 edition) takes up the action after the protagonists have lived on the neighboring island for an indeterminate period. Book One: Two Romans, Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus, fleeing the aftermath of the conspiracy of Sejanus, become shipwrecked on the island of Eudemia. They are befriended by Gallonius, steward to Plusius, the wealthiest man on the island, who becomes their guide. They learn from Gal- 161 Giachino 2002: 207. <?page no="56"?> Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes 57 lonius that the island had been colonized two centuries earlier by the survivors of a trireme from the fleet of Scipio Africanus, which had been blown off course as it was returning from the Second Punic War. After generations of intermarriage, everyone on Eudemia now speaks Latin. The two Romans learn that the island is governed by ruling men called dynasts (dynastae), whom they witness being ferried about the city in opulent carriages. Gallonius brings them to the home of Dynast Bibulus, who keeps a menagerie of animals. On their way back to Gallonius’s house, the three men narrowly avoid being struck by a carriage carrying a noblewoman named Pasicompsa, widow of a dynast, prompting a digression on the insatiable libido of women who prey upon naive young men. Book Two: Gallonius takes the two Romans to visit the splendid gardens of one of the dynasts. Next they visit a friend of Gallonius, who has been taken ill and is being cared for by a woman, named Nanna, whom the Romans learn is a cunning and deceitful prostitute after the man’s money. They hear the story of how this woman had, with the help of a quack doctor, cleverly tricked a merchant into thinking he had injured her, for which harm she attempted to obtain monetary recompense. When the story concludes, the three men make their way to the home of Dynast Plusius. While lunch is being served to Plusius’s guests, the two Romans have the opportunity to observe the dynasts’ dress and to eavesdrop on their conversations. The Romans are then invited to take lunch in the beautiful gardens where they are joined by a raucous group of guests. After the feast has concluded, Gallonius is summoned to a magistrate’s chambers to aid a man named Toxillus, who has been dragged off to court. There they hear the story of a prostitute, allegedly a witch, who stands accused of using magic to attack the magistrate’s lictors. After the woman is cleared of wrongdoing, Gallonius persuades the magistrate to drop the charges against Toxillus. On their way home, the three men hear the story of Asterius, who, by a clever play on words, gets revenge on the magistrate for an injustice. Book Three: Gallonius takes the two Romans to visit a friend of his, who is anguished about being old and close to death. After an unsuccessful attempt to comfort his friend, Gallonius continues to lead his two guests on a tour of the city. In one of the forums, they hear the story of a rag seller who has left his wife under the protection of men who he thinks are bodyguards, but who are actually vying for her amorous attention. Gallonius promises his guests that, after lunch, he will take them to visit a literary academy. They spend the afternoon in the company of the elite and learned members of the academy listening to speeches and poems. That night they are awoken out of their sleep by cries coming from the hospital, where the staff is spending a miserable night on account of the explosive effects of bad wine. <?page no="57"?> 58 Introduction Book Four: The three men receive news that the eminent Dynast Alexander has died. Alexander’s greatness is contrasted with the story of another man, despised by all, who died and was buried in a tomb—but the man turned out not to be dead. At the conclusion of the story, the three men return to Gallonius’s house, where they overhear the household servants engaged in gossip. During lunch, the Romans engage with a philosopher in a debate about the chastity of Lucretia. That afternoon, they head out from Gallonius’s house and encounter a funeral for a certain young man named Philotas. The Romans hear the sad tale of two star-crossed lovers, Philotas and Olinda. The two Romans then witness the funeral of Dynast Alexander. Before dinner they are introduced to a ship’s captain, who will take them the following day to a neighboring island. As they head back to Gallonius’s house, they encounter a man who claims to be a poet superior to Virgil. They next encounter a tedious philosopher, who instructs them in his abbreviated method of learning rhetoric. Book Five: The two Romans visit the senate house to see the poliarchs (senators) in action hearing complaints from fishmongers, poultry sellers, and other merchants, and administering justice. On their way they learn about the common practice of husbands turning a blind eye to their wives’ lovers if some benefit accrues to them in the form of lavish gifts. The Romans are invited by the poliarchs to join them for lunch. At the conclusion of the banquet, the men admire the art in the senate house. On their way home, they meet Aridus, who recounts stories about various people in Eudemia: a man whose son and daughter are, respectively, a handsome and accomplished troublemaker and a famous courtesan; a thieving banker named Lyco; and a miserly cloth merchant, named Harpax, and a dishonest banker, named Septimus Pleusippus, both of whom defraud their clients and creditors. Next, they hear from Iberus about a clever plan to ensure his immortality. When they return to Gallonius’s house, the two Romans chastise him for being angry at his ungrateful master, because he should know better than to expect anything but ingratitude from noblemen. Gallonius then recounts the woeful tale of Nicius Rufus, a long-suffering secretary to a miserly dynast. Book Six: Because the two Romans are in need of money, Gallonius accompanies them to the forum to meet with Zancha the broker in order to sell some of their valuables before setting sail to the neighboring island. Zancha recounts the story of the drunkard carpenter Baldoccius, whose daughter, Tensa, fools both him and her mother, Antina, into leaving her at home alone, so she can meet freely with her lover, Pamphilus. On their way home, the two Romans encounter a solemn religious procession and learn that the members of the ruling class of Eudemia hold their horses and other pets in higher esteem than they do their fellow man. After breakfast they rush to board the ship. Aboard the ship <?page no="58"?> Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes 59 they meet a painter named Ballio who, with his wife, wants to set sail with them, and a moneylender who rails against the wife because she was once a whore. Ballio then recounts the story of a Cynic philosopher named Lyus, whose sister, a chaste maiden, has been on pious pilgrimages all over the world. Her reputation precedes her, and noblewomen throughout the land compete to host her in their homes and in their beds, until a rich widow unmasks her true identity. Book Seven: A violent wind blows the ship back to Eudemia whence it departed. The two Romans disembark and seek out their friend Gallonius. They all commiserate about a certain disagreeable old man named Ligurinus. The two Romans learn about the archaeologist Offuscatus, who devotes his life to exploring Eudemia’s catacombs. Offuscatus incurs the jealousy of Plusius Accipiter, who thinks Offuscatus is treasure hunting and enriching himself with his finds; this prompts Offuscatus to conspire with a certain Stylius to play a trick on Plusius. On their way to a bookshop, the two Romans and Gallonius hear about a pair of swindlers who use a beautiful young man as a honeypot to trick rich men into paying them a ransom. At the bookshop they hear about various men gifted in letters, art, and science. They also hear the story of a wicked, filthy old man named Merlinus, who aids a penniless youth in engaging the services of a prostitute. Next, they hear the story of Rufus the clerk, whose servant spends the household money entrusted to him and disguises himself as a wealthy man in order to play a trick on his master. Next they listen to the story of a widow, who goes before a judge to recoup money she has loaned to a dishonest neighbor. While waiting at the port to set sail, they hear various tales of fraudsters feigning religious frenzy in order to trick people into thinking they are possessed by demons. They also meet a young surgeon, who has been thrown out of his house for inadvertently causing his father to eat a human liver. They then hear the story of a philosopher and adherent of the cult of Minerva, who seduces the maidservant of a nobleman’s wife. They also come across the old man Merlinus again attempting to recoup his money from a prostitute. Book Eight: On board the ship, they hear the story of a dishonest soldier of a religious military order who tricks people into believing he is an alchemist and then uses that supposed power as collateral for obtaining loans and stealing other people’s riches—until his ruse is exposed. Next, they hear the story of Geta, who finds a clever way to recoup the money he has spent buying gifts for his beloved. They then hear the story of a sexton of the Temple of Apollo who is being transported in chains to his punishment for stealing a young man’s beloved falcon and attempting to hold it hostage in exchange for sexual favors. At the conclusion of this story, they hear a poem against wanton love affairs. The next person they meet offers his expertise in where and how to indulge in all of the illicit pleasures Eudemia has to offer. Next Paulus Aemilius is able to <?page no="59"?> 60 Introduction find a clever solution to the plights of two men who have each been wronged by their wives. When they arrive at their destination, they hear the story of Dynast Vius, who is so taken by his fondness for a dishonest young man that not even his brother-in-law Megalobulus is able to persuade him that the young man deserves punishment. Finally, the two Romans arrive at the neighboring island and discover a land that is fertile, abundant, and inhabited by law-abiding and welcoming citizens who are all equal under the law. They decide to settle there and procure a villa on a high hill with a farm to sustain them. Book Nine: The two Romans are enjoying their life on the neighboring island, relishing their villa on a high hill and its surrounding gardens. They partake in many intellectual pursuits in the company of the island’s accomplished scholarly community, and they derive particular pleasure from getting to know a scholar named Aristides. They are pleasantly surprised by the arrival of Gallonius, who has come to the island to run errands for his dynast. Gallonius tells them the good news that the citizens of Eudemia are rejoicing because a certain King Nicephorus was thwarted in his attempt to conquer the island and was killed. Various stories follow about a number of tricksters, scofflaws, and thieves, and the judges who hear their cases. Next they meet a man named Suffenus who is quite taken with his own talents. They then hear a few more stories about the adjudication of cases by judges who either do not follow the law, or who find clever ways to make someone whole. They hear examples about how stingily wealthy men show their appreciation for services rendered. While they are waiting in the theater to hear the speech of a scholar named Icosippus, Gallonius recites a long poem about the rex sacrorum Humanus and his brother Mellitus. Icosippus then gives a long speech about the virtue of useful laughter. Saddened that Gallonius must return to Eudemia, the two Romans accept his invitation to go with him to experience the celebrated annual games the poliarchs organize at certain times of the year. They are sad to leave their friend Aristides and promise to write to him. Book Ten: The two Romans set sail with Gallonius back to Eudemia, where they head to Gallonius’s house, where Gallonius leaves them while he goes to tend to his dynast. While waiting for Gallonius to return, they are visited by Aridus, whom they had met at the academy meeting. A discussion among the three men ensues, in which they proffer examples, primarily from antiquity, regarding the dangers of conferring excessive and unwarranted praise, and the absurdity of those who seek undeserved, and often extravagant, honors. Aridus then informs the two Romans that the celebrations and games will soon commence. Toward evening they get their first taste of the celebrations when they see throngs of masked revelers filling the streets below their window, along with a spectacular dance performance. Aridus then describes to them <?page no="60"?> Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes 61 the races, which are the central event of the celebrations, explaining that they are run by both people and animals who contend for specific prizes. Gallonius soon returns home, and they all go to bed. They are awakened and entertained by various theatrical spectacles in the form of beautiful stagecraft, music, and dancing. The following night they enjoy the sights and sounds of a city in the throes of joyful celebration. They receive a dinner invitation from a friend of Gallonius and spend a delightful evening eating, listening to a concert, playing games, and hearing amusing stories. A few days later they venture into the streets again to experience continuing celebrations. They enjoy an entertaining parade, after which they watch their first race. At the suggestion of Gallonius, the two Romans don masks so they can more fully participate in the revels. Next the two Romans attend a horse race, and they learn what it takes to be a champion horse. They return home to rest, and Flavius Vopiscus Niger pens a letter to Aristides. That night they are invited to dinner at the home of a friend of Gallonius, where they hear about poliarchs behaving badly. The next day they experience a holiday, when working people have the day off and are invited to indulge in food and drink, which is provided by one of the city’s wealthy residents. They learn that the following day is sacred to a god named Index, when spies and informants are tricked and shamed. They watch another horse race. On the last day of the races, they enjoy local delicacies at the finish line and discover that the conclusion of the races offers an amusing surprise. There are other spectacles and celebratory games for the two Romans to witness, as well as an oration to enjoy and distinguished people to see. Flavius Vopiscus Niger writes to Aristides again. The next day they are invited by a friend of Gallonius to see festivities and games that take place on the river. By the by, they hear a morality tale about a man who accumulated too many riches and suffered the consequences. The very last celebrations the two Romans see are those of the common people, who feast and play games on the grounds of a country estate. At the conclusion of these festivities, the two Romans finally decide to leave Gallonius and return home to the neighboring island, 162 where they find their community shaken by the malicious actions of a con man. In the end, they settle back into their literary life, albeit in the company of a nobleman who is wealthy but not particularly educated. 162 One interpretation (e.g., Giachino 2002: 210) is that Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus return to their original home in Rome at the conclusion of Book Ten. Earlier in Book Ten, however, their great desire to leave Eudemia and return “home” was prompted by their missing Aristides, with whom they kept company in Book Nine while they were living on the neighboring island. Therefore, I think they are not returning to Rome, but back to the island where they had established themselves at the conclusion of Book Eight. <?page no="61"?> 62 Introduction Themes Many of the themes found in Eudemia are standard fare for early modern satire. As Fleming says of Barclay’s Euphormionis lusinini satyricon, commonplaces in humanistic satire include “comments on education, decline of learning, medicine, nobility, Puritans, and friars.” 163 Rossi, too, aims at well-worn targets, including the nobility, quack doctors, priests, moneylenders, religious orders (especially Jesuits), charlatans, and tedious philosophers. His sharpest criticisms are reserved for inept and powerless magistrates; social climbers who advance by bribes, relationships, and favors (as opposed to by skill and competence); arrogant and incompetent poets; and promoters of the supernatural, including astrology, pseudoapparitions, pseudopossessions, and exorcisms. 164 Prostitutes, noblewomen, and lower-class women also populate Rossi’s satire, prompting Virginia Cox to include Eudemia in what she calls the “seventeenth-century misogynistic canon.” 165 His portrayal of women as promiscuous and/ or deceitful is conventional to both ancient and early modern literature, and a few of the female characters, such as Pasicompsa and Milphidippa, are simply stock characters whose names even derive from Plautus’s plays. In fact, Rossi insists that the inspiration for the character Pasicompsa is drawn directly from Cicero’s Pro Caelio: Then there’s the fact that those stories which are wanton and disgraceful are not all taken from our current customs, but some are also taken from the lives of disgraceful people in antiquity, like the one about Pasicompsa and Cleobulus, in which I expose, with some fabrications sprinkled here and there, the anger and enmity that rose between the wealthy noblewoman Clodia and the tall, handsome, and fair Marcus Caelius. That passage was taken entirely, almost word for word, from Cicero’s oration in defense of Marcus Caelius. 166 On the other hand, some of the female characters are among the most developed and interesting in the entire novel (while their male counterparts are often greedy and dim-witted). The most resourceful and clever characters in the nar- 163 Barclay and Fleming 1973: xxxi. 164 Giachino 2002: 203-5; see also Correard 2016: 64-5. 165 Cox 2008: 183. 166 Ep. ad div. 2.VI.V: “Tum ea quae impura ac flagitiosa narrantur non omnia excepta sunt ex moribus quibus nunc utimur, sed nonnulla etiam ex veterum flagitiosorum hominum vita delecta, ut illud de Pasicompsa et Cleobulo, in quo mendaciuncula quibusdam aspersis irae inimicitaeque exponuntur quae inter Clodiam, feminam nobilissimam locupletissimamque, et inter M. Caelium, procera statura, eleganti forma et candido ore adolescentem, intercedebat; qui locus ex Ciceronis oratione pro M. Caelio iisdem paene verbis in nostrum librum translatus est totus.” <?page no="62"?> Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes 63 rative are Nanna (Book One), Olinda (Book Four), and Tensa (Book Six). Nanna is the only one of the three women whom the Romans themselves meet within the main narrative (Tensa’s and Olinda’s stories are narrated to them by others). She is described as a cunning whore who devises an ingenious ruse to trick a merchant out of his money. Tensa is a carpenter’s daughter who convinces her parents that her lover is a ghost haunting their house, so she can rendezvous with him without arousing suspicion. Olinda, unlike the other women, is tragic and sympathetic as opposed to tricky and deceitful, and her insert tale reads like a romance, with separated lovers and an obstacle-filled journey toward a hoped-for reunification that is never realized. The plot twist that makes this tale particularly interesting is that, while she is searching for her lover, Philotas, Olinda dresses in men’s clothing, thus attracting the amorous attention of a young maiden. When Olinda reveals her true identity, the maiden is not put off, but instead follows Olinda in search of Philotas. Olinda is so distraught by the circumstances in which they find him that she falls ill and dies, causing the lovesick maiden to fall ill and die as well. Olinda’s journey ends with the two women being buried together in the Temple of Cupid: and the bodies of both women were carried to the Temple of Cupid on the same day, in the same funeral procession, in the same coffin; and one and the same burial was conducted so that the same tomb would hold the bodies of those women whose souls love had joined together in life, and which death could not put asunder. 167 Other topics are unique to Rossi’s circumstance and allow the reader to ascribe a certain level of autobiography to Eudemia. These include the many individuals from Rossi’s own circle who populate his narrative, whose true identities are clearly discernible behind their pseudonyms. A few examples are the two characters named Offuscatus, one standing in for the epigrapher Giovanni Zaratino Castellini (Book Three), and the other standing in for the archaeologist Antonio Bosio (Book Seven); Thaumantius, referring to the bookseller Giovanni Battista Tamantini (Book Seven); the noble Tyrrhenus, the pseudonym for Fabio Chigi (Book Three); and Dynast Plusius, who conceals the identity of Cardinal Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto, Rossi’s erstwhile and allegedly unappreciative employer (introduced in Book One and appearing throughout). Rossi also includes venues and locations that would have been familiar to his readers, such as the meeting place of a literary academy in Book Three, instantly recognizable as the Accademia degli Umoristi; a reference to the Ospedale Santo Spirito in Rome’s Borgo neighborhood (Book Three); the Muro Torto and the 167 Liber IV.26. <?page no="63"?> 64 Introduction Campidoglio (Book Five); and the many fountains adorning the city, for which inhabitants of Rossi’s Rome had Gian Lorenzo Bernini to thank. A recurring target of Rossi’s satire is the literary and intellectual scene of his day. Two memorable instances occur in Book Four when the two Romans encounter an arrogant poet who thinks Virgil is overrated, and a tedious philosopher who has developed an efficient way to quickly and easily memorize the rules of rhetoric. The most pointed and withering criticism of an individual occurs in Book Seven, when Rossi takes aim at a certain unnamed author who they were saying had recently published some book about famous writers of his age. He said to the man, “Were you not ashamed to add the name of Ianus the mattress maker to that company of illustrious men? Did you have no compunction when you placed the common ditties of some idiot … alongside so many outstanding works of excellent men? Perhaps he seemed worthy of being included in the ranks of learned men because he made you a free mattress.” 168 With this critical anecdote Rossi was taking aim at Leone Allacci, a theologian and scholar of Greek origin and fellow Academy member. 169 The work alluded to in this passage was Allacci’s book titled Apes urbanae, sive, De viris illustribus qui ab anno 1630 per totum 1632 Romae adfuerunt ac typis aliquid evulgarunt (Romae: Ludovicus Grignanus, 1633). In this book Allacci made the grave error, in Rossi’s opinion, of including an author and artist named Giovanni Bricci, 170 son of a mattress maker and scrap dealer, in his list of “illustrious men.” 171 In criticizing Allacci for his all-too-generous assessment of who merits recognition as a worthy artist or writer in Rome, Rossi was also expressing a broader critique of the diminishing literary and artistic standards of his contemporaries. It is this critique that leads Giachino to conclude that one of the inspirations for Eudemia was Rossi’s sense of indignation at the failure of the promised moral and cultural renovatio of the Barberini papacy that began so auspiciously under that “Cicero pontifex maximus.” 172 As Laura Alemanno explains, after initially being directly involved in Rome’s thriving cultural institutions such as the Accademia degli Umoristi and the Ac- 168 Liber VII.25. 169 Allacci served as librarian to Francesco Barberini and was later appointed keeper of the Vatican Library by Alexander VII. 170 De Gregori 1942: 271; Giachino 2002: 198. 171 Rossi felt compelled to apologize to Allacci in a 1638 letter (Ep. ad div. 1.V.XI). Rossi’s apology, and a correction of the record, is reflected in Liber IX.3 of Eudemiae libri decem in an episode involving a character named Pterotius. Some of the language in Book Nine that refers to Ianus (Bricci) is similar to that in Rossi’s apology letter to Allacci, which suggests that he used his letter as a basis for the passage Eudemia. 172 Giachino 2002: 191-2. <?page no="64"?> Eudemia: Story Outline and Themes 65 cademia dei Lincei—both in terms of patronage and their own literary activity and interest—Urban VIII and his powerful family began to distance themselves from the academies and their members. 173 This turning away from cultural matters was prompted by the Thirty Years War, which forced the papacy, in Alemanno’s words, to “reconsider its intention to remain independent [of the politics in Europe], and it contributed to a weakening of Rome as a political and cultural reference point.” 174 Concrete expressions of this rift between the Barberini and the academies were, for example, the placement of Giambattista Marino’s Adone on the Index of Prohibited Books in 1627 and the trial of Galileo Galilei in 1633. The negative reaction of Rome’s intellectuals to their city’s declining importance on the global stage was reflected in their artistic output. A direct response to the treatment of Marino and Galilei was the vocal support the two men received from their colleagues, the independent-minded members of the Umoristi and the Lincei, in spite of the Church’s condemnation of these two high-profile intellectuals. 175 On a more general level, Alemanno notes that, beginning in the 1630s, the papal court began to be characterized in literature not as a locus for serene, cordial relationships, but as a place replete with jealousy, duplicity, and hatred; in addition, the decade between 1630 and 1640 saw a higher tolerance for satirical works that reflected poorly on Urban VIII and his court. 176 Rossi’s satire was clearly a product of this sentiment. As stated at the outset, it was Gerboni’s assessment that the principal driving force behind the composition of Eudemia was Rossi’s resentment of the nepotism that colored the papacies not just of Urban VIII but of Paul V and Gregory XV before him, under whose rule Rossi lived the entirety of his adult life, and caused him to experience nothing but frustration in his attempts to gain a permanent position within the papal court. 177 Because of this, he was forced 173 Alemanno 1995: 113-4. 174 Ibid.: 113: “ridimensionare i suoi progetti di autonomia e contribuirono ad indebolire la centralità di Roma come punto di riferimento politico-culturale.” 175 Upon Marino’s death in 1625, members of the Accademia degli Umoristi recognized their one-time Principe in an epitaph dedicated to “viro ingenii acumine, eloquentiae suavitate, scribendi elegantia praestantissimo” (“a most outstanding man in terms of sharpness of intellect, pleasantness of speech, and elegance in writing”). For the full text of the epitaph see Mirollo 1963: 93; for a summary of the critical reception of Marino see ibid.: 92-111. Girolamo Aleandro, member of the Accademia degli Umoristi and the person to whom both editions of Eudemia are dedicated, published Difesa dell’Adone, poema del cavaliere Marini (In Venetia: Appresso G. Scaglia, 1629). Rossi includes both Marino and Galileo as characters in Eudemia, in Books Three and Ten, respectively. 176 Ibid.: 114, 116. 177 Gerboni 1899: 48. <?page no="65"?> 66 Introduction to accept what was, in his view, the thankless position as private secretary to Cardinal Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto. Rossi’s resentment for having to accept this position—and his general rancor and disillusionment toward his society—is best summed up in what is perhaps the most personal episode in this already highly personal work: a story in Book Five about Dynast Plusius (pseudonym for Cardinal Peretti), who employs a private secretary named Nicius Rufus, described as “honesto loco natus ac litteris deditus” (“born to a reputable social rank and devoted to letters”). This is the woeful tale of an unappreciative, brutish, and suspicious employer who demeans his private secretary by forcing him to live in conditions of great discomfort and inconvenience, even after Nicius Rufus has spent almost fifteen years in the nobleman’s service. The proximity of the pseudonym Nicius Rufus to his own name, Vittorio Rossi, cannot but invite this association and lead the reader to see Rufus-Rossi as the victim of a society in which status is granted through favors and friendships rather than talent and hard work, and to see the island of Eudemia—and by association Urban VIII’s Rome—as that society writ large. <?page no="67"?> 68 Eudemiae libri decem Eudemia haec luce donetur. Coloniae Agrippinae, Octobri MDCXLIV. Henricus Francken Sierstorpffius SS. Theol. Doctor, librorum censor. Epistola dedicatoria Hieronymo Aleandro Iuniori Ianus Nicius Erythraeus S.P.D. Heri cum essem otiosus domi, quo molestis cogitationibus quibus saepe appetor omnes ad me aditus obstruerem, cepi in manus librum nuper a te editum atque totum illud tempus quod in ea lectione posui, ita ad nullos curarum scopulos mentem offendi, ut si tutissima aliqua navi vectus placidissimum aequor excurrerem. Detinebat me praesertim abundantia doctrinae atque varietas, liquidum ac profluens et in nullas obscuritatis salebras incidens orationis flumen et copia in qua naturalis inest non fucatus nitor. 1 Etenim, ut saepius ex me audisti, tua cum lego, esse mihi satis doctus videor; nam dicis plane quod intellegam. Sunt enim omnia in tuis scriptis aperta, dilucida ac tuis moribus omnino similia; qui nihil simulatum, nihil fictum obtendunt, sed quidquid tibi intus in animo latet, aperiunt ac proferunt. At si quando in istorum scripta incidi, qui nunc in Academiis, in scholis dominantur ac volitant, despondeo animum ac poenitet me quod navaverim operam litteris. Etenim in singulis quibusque versiculis haereo, interdum verbum in illis nullum intellego (quod tarditate ingenii mei vel potius inscitia fieri arbitror). Atque avocarem omnino animum ab his litteris et ad alia studia transferrem, nisi me veterum scriptorum libri retinerent; ad quos cum me converto, admirabili illa ac prope divina suavitate puritateque sermonis recreatus, sentio mihi animos addi atque in eam opinionem adducor, ut ipsis etiam antiquis istorum orationem visum iri obscuram existimem, si illorum ad aures ea venisset. Ac mihi quidem saepenumero in novos istos scriptores intuenti quaerendum esse visum est quid esset quod homines in veterum lectione assuefacti, eorum (ut ita dicam) cantu suam non colorarent orationem. At eorum unus hunc mihi demum 1 Cic. Brut. IX.36-7: “usque ad hanc aetatem oratorum fuit, in qua naturalis inesset, non fucatus nitor.” 1 2 <?page no="68"?> Dedicatory Letter 69 Eudemia in Ten Books Let the present Eudemia be published. Cologne [i.e., Amsterdam], October 1644. Henricus Francken Sierstorpff [i.e., Leonardus Marius], Doctor of Theology and censor of books. Dedicatory Letter Ianus Nicius Erythraeus to Girolamo Aleandro, the Younger, greetings. 1 Yesterday, while I was at leisure at home, I took up your recently published book in order to keep at bay the troublesome thoughts that frequently plague me. My mind was not dashed against any rocks of anxiety the entire time I spent reading it, such that it was like crossing a most peaceful sea as if carried along in the safest of ships. It was the abundance and variety of your learning that particularly captivated me; the fluency of your speech was crystal clear, flowing, and did not encounter a single ripple of obscurity; its richness was natural and not embellished. Indeed, as you have often heard me say, I feel considerably more learned when I read your works, because you speak plainly in a way I can understand. Everything about your writing is clear, lucid, and utterly consonant with your character, which conceals nothing insincere or false, but discloses and makes known whatever is in your heart. On the other hand, whenever I encounter the writings of those who oversee and swan about in the Academies and schools nowadays, I lose heart and am embarrassed to be involved in literary pursuits. In fact, I remain stuck on every one of their verses, sometimes not understanding even a single word of them (which I attribute to the slowness of my intellect, or rather, my ignorance). And I would divert my mind away from literature altogether and redirect it toward other studies, were it not for the fact that the writings of the ancients hold my 1 This dedication to Aleandro, which first appeared in the 1637 editio princeps of Eudemia, was originally written as a letter from Rossi to this same erudite friend (it is included in Rossi’s collection of published letters, Ep ad div. 1.VII.I). Since Aleandro died in 1629, it is unlikely that, at the time of its writing, the original letter was intended to accompany Rossi’s satire. Given the biting nature of Eudemia, however, it may have seemed like a good strategy to dedicate the work to someone who was no longer living. Indeed, though the second edition came about thanks to the efforts of Fabio Chigi, the decision was made to reprint the same dedicatory letter to Aleandro from the first edition. 1 2 <?page no="69"?> 70 Eudemia in Ten Books ex animo scrupulum evellit, 2 qui, interrogatus de hac ipsa re, inquit verba pura atque dilucida, sententias apertas et intellegentiae cuiusvis obvias a delicatis et elegantibus huius saeculi auribus respui, ab eisque infinitum quiddam exposci. Sed infinitum istud nusquam cum reperiatur, illud persuadere conantur in obscuritate sermonis ac sententiarum, tanquam aliquod mysterium involvi. Atqui iudicium suum cum istorum auctoritate coniunxerat amicus ille noster, qui suis commentariis regi vel (ut Cicero inquit) deo philosophorum Platoni an lucem an tenebras attulit. Cum illi carmen egregium nobilis cuiusdam poëtae legissem atque expectarem ut clamaret, “Pulchre, bene, recte! 3 Non potuit melius! ” alia quae admiratio dictat, ecce tibi mentum intorquet 4 atque, “Luculentum est,” inquit, “hoc carmen, sed nimis apertum ac dilucidum. Quanto illud esset illustrius si plurimum doctae obscuritatis includeret! ” Hoc responso cerebrosus aliquis exarsisset ac derisori illi in os involasset. Quis unquam, obsecro, ex tenebris lucem exspectet? Quis perspicuitatem sermonis cuiquam vitio vortit? Quis non eidem in orationis laudibus primas detulit? “Prima,” inquit Cicero, “laus in oratione perspicuitas.” Eam vero Quintilianus modo primam, modo summam eloquentiae virtutem appellat, nullamque vitiosiorem esse orationem affirmat quam quae egeat interprete 5 ; denique, “Est,” inquit, “obscurior, quo quisque deterior.” 6 Quid multis moror? Poëma ceteroqui egregium quod esset apertum atque dilucidum, non aliam ob causam in reprehensionem hominis docti incurrit. At 2 Cic. Rosc. Am. III.6: “Hunc sibi ex animo scrupulum.” 3 Hor. Ars P. 428: “clamabit enim ‘pulchre! bene! recte! ’” 4 Cic. De or. II.LXVI.266: “ut cum Tito Pinario mentum in dicendo intorquenti.” 5 In his treatments of oratory, Cicero uses the adverbs plane and dilucide for clear speech, rather than the noun perspicuitas (e.g., De or. I.XXXII.144: “in [oratione] praecipitur primum, ut pure et Latine loquamur, deinde ut plane et dilucide”). This precept, attributed here to Cicero, hews more closely to that of Quintilian (e.g., Quint. Inst. 1.6.41: “oratio vero, cuius summa virtus est perspicuitas, quam sit vitiosa si egeat interprete! ”; ibid. 2.3.8: “Nam et prima est eloquentiae virtus perspicuitas”; ibid. 8.2.22: “Nobis prima sit virtus perspicuitas”). 6 Quint. Inst. 2.3.7: “Erit ergo etiam obscurior quo quisque deterior.” 3 <?page no="70"?> Dedicatory Letter 71 attention. Whenever I turn to them, I am restored by the wonderful and almost divine sweetness and purity of their speech. I feel encouraged and am led to the opinion that, if those same ancient authors were to hear the style of today’s modern ones, I think it would seem incomprehensible to them. And even to me, as I reflect on these new-fangled authors, it has often seemed necessary to ask why these men, who are themselves steeped in the literature of the ancients, do not color their own speech with the music, so to speak, of those authors. But one of them at last solved this puzzle in my mind. When asked about this very thing, he said that the delicate and precious ears of today reject words that are pure and clear, along with sentences that are straightforward and accessible to anyone’s understanding, and they demand something prodigious. But since this prodigious quality is nowhere to be found, they endeavor to convince people that it is cloaked in the obscurity of their speech and sentences, as if it were some sort of mystery. Indeed, that friend of ours endorsed the view of those new-fangled writers when he added light or darkness, I’m not sure which, to his commentaries on Plato, the king (or, as Cicero says, the god) of all philosophers. When I read to him the outstanding composition of a famous poet, expecting him to exclaim, “Beautiful! Good! Nice! He could not have done better! ” or some other expression of admiration, wouldn’t you know, he screwed up his chin and said, “It’s an excellent poem, but it’s too straightforward and clear. How much more distinguished it would be if he cloaked it in more learned obscurity! ” At this response, someone with a short temper would have become enraged and lunged at that man who was deriding the poem. I ask you, who in the world expects light from darkness? Who on earth finds fault with clear speech? Who doesn’t give clear speech pride of place when praising an oration? As Cicero says, the quality to be praised above all in a speech is clarity. Indeed, Quintilian calls clarity sometimes the first, and sometimes the highest virtue of eloquence, affirming that nothing is worse than speech that requires an interpreter, declaring finally, “The more obscure, the worse it is.” Need I continue? A poem that is otherwise outstanding, because it is straightforward and clear, is, for that very reason, met with an academic’s scorn. And that academic is perhaps one of those who, as it says in scripture, “puts darkness for light and light for darkness.” 2 2 Translation from the King James Version of Isaiah 5: 20. 3 <?page no="71"?> 72 Eudemia in Ten Books hic fortasse ex eo hominum numero erat qui, ut est in sacris litteris, lucem tenebras et tenebras lucem appellant. 7 Redeo ad istos rerum magnificarum, admirabilium, infinitarum artifices ac magistros qui, quo auribus infinita expectantium occurrant, verba propria ac rem explicantia, tanquam ante pedes posita, reiciunt; abdita, abstrusa, recondita e tenebris evocant; quae nemini unquam sano venerunt in mentem, excogitant; eaque non circumvestiunt verbis ut possint intellegi, sed saepiunt fumo atramentoque, ne percipi queant; semper tumidi, semper inflati, alas pandunt, montium vertices appetunt, nubes et inania captant. 8 Qui, ut ceteris vitiis careant, vel hoc ipso corrupti existimandi sunt, quod tumidi; ut enim corpora non robore sed valetudine inflantur, ita etiam oratio non viribus, sed morbo vitioque turgescit. Verum his artibus sese imperitis adolescentibus venditant, qui ea quae non intellegunt admirantur et obstupescunt. In quo Plautino illi coquo similes inveniuntur qui, ut se lenoni cui coctum ibat commendaret, culpabat condimenta omnia quibus alii coqui cenas condiebant ac nova et portentosa condimentorum genera afferebat: cicilendrum, polindrum, macidem, cicimandrum, happalopsidem, cataractriam 9 ; quae omnia non rerum certarum sed nugarum inanissimarum sunt vocabula. Ita etiam isti non item ut ceteri Latini scriptores orationem suam condiunt, videlicet sententiis acutis et gravibus, translatis illustribus et ratione sumtis, verborum complexione tenera atque flexibili, sed sententiolis puerilibus ac prope ridiculis, translatis immanibus ac furiosis, vi impetuque tanquam in alienam domum irrumpentibus denique inextricabili verborum nexu omnia perturbant ac miscent. Sed cum in omni oratione eorum vanitas manifesta est, tum maxime in exordiis se prodit. Non enim naturam ducem sequuntur, quae res maximas atque admirabiles levioribus principiis praetexuit, sed statim ab initio montes transvolant seque nubibus inferunt; nam minus altam et exaggeratam fore ipsorum orationem existimant, nisi se universa profundat atque ita repente in altum advolet, ut mentis aciem effugiat. 7 Isaiah 5: 20: “Vae, qui dicunt malum bonum et bonum malum, ponentes tenebras in lucem et lucem in tenebras, ponentes amarum in dulce et dulce in amarum! ” 8 Hor. Epist. II.I.251: “ne, dum vitat humum, nubes et inania captet.” 9 Plaut. Pseud. III.ii. 831-6: “nam ego cocilendrum quando in patinas indidi / aut cepolendrum aut maccidem aut saucaptidem, / eaepse sese [patinae] fervefaciunt ilico. / haec ad Neptuni pecudes condimenta sunt: / terrestris pecudes cicimandro condio aut / hapalopside aut cataractria.” 4 5 <?page no="72"?> Dedicatory Letter 73 Getting back to those practitioners and masters in sublime, awe-inspiring, and prodigious subjects who, in order to deliver this prodigious quality to their audience’s eager ears, reject proper meanings of words that would explicate their subject matter, as if placing it at the feet of their listeners. Instead they summon cryptic, obscure, and hidden words out of the shadows; they invent things that no one in their right mind would dream up; and they don’t wrap their compositions in words that can be understood, but they cloak them in smoke and darkness so as to be incomprehensible. Always inflated and swollen, they spread their wings and reach for the mountaintops, only to grasp clouds and emptiness. And we should consider faulty even those compositions that might lack any other defects, if only because they are inflated. Just as when bodies swell up, not because they are robust but because they are sickly, likewise an oration becomes swollen, not because it is powerful but because it is weak and defective. But it is with these sorts of techniques that those practitioners and masters pawn themselves off on inexperienced youth, who admire and are awestruck by things they don’t understand. In this aspect they reveal themselves to be similar to that cook in Plautus, who, in order to ingratiate himself to a brothel keeper, whom he was angling to cook for, disparaged every seasoning used by other cooks to flavor their meals, proposing new and unnatural types of seasonings like cicilendrum, polindrum, macis, cicimandrum, happalopsis, and cataractria, 3 all of which are terms not for real things but for useless nonsense. Those practitioners, too, season their orations this same way. Unlike those ancient Latin writers, who season their works with incisive and weighty phrases, clear and reasoned rhetorical figures, and delicate and nimble turns of phrase, those practitioners confound and confuse everything with their facile and almost ridiculous little phrases and excessive and insane figures, as though they were bursting into a stranger’s house with force and violence, and, finally, with an inextricable jumble of words. Though their arrogance is manifest in all of their orations, it is especially apparent in their prefaces. Indeed, they don’t follow nature as their guide, a principle that invests great and admirable matters with relatively diminutive preambles. Instead, from the very beginning, they fly over mountaintops and crash into the clouds, believing that their speech will not be lofty and exalted if it does not spread across the entire world and, just as suddenly, fly upward so as to defy understanding. 3 These are all made-up spices (in Plaut. Pseud. a few of the spellings are different: cocilendrum, cepolendrum). 4 5 <?page no="73"?> 74 Eudemia in Ten Books Venit mihi in mentem hoc loco Caestii declamatoris, qui apud discipulos suos in schola responsurus orationi Ciceronis pro Milone hoc utebatur principio: “Si Thrax essem, Fusius essem; si pantomimus essem, Pantillus essem; si eques, Melison.” Aderat ibi forte Seneca pater, qui, ut erat acri vir ingenio et iudicio singulari, non continuit bilem, sed palam cunctis audientibus dixit, “Si cloaca esses, magna esses.” 10 Tum risu omnes qui aderant emori, Caestius obmutescere, ut qui Ciceroni responsurus erat, Senecae quid responderet non haberet. Illud in primis ridiculum, quod Seneca nactus deinde in foro Caestium, obtorto collo ad omnes eum praetores abstraxit et vario litium genere vexare ioci causa coepit. Verum cum intervenientibus amicis ad spectaculum et rogantibus dixisset molestum se amplius non futurum, si iurasset disertiorem esse Ciceronem quam se, nunquam ut hoc faceret vel ioco vel serio effici potuit. Quid? Putasne quod Seneca, si revivisceret, hanc ab istis confessionem terroribus vel minis exprimeret? Equidem arbitror millies eos antea vitam amissuros quam se Ciceroni postposituros. Vivit, etiam nunc vivit 11 ac sine metu lapidum securus ante omnium ora perambulat qui, cum Ciceronis orationes summis laudibus efferrem, quasi stomachans ait, “Quid malum in orationibus illis tot laudibus dignum invenias? Pueri hodie ita scribunt ut Cicero.” At ego hunc hominem non in ius ad praetorem per iocum vocarem; sed si regnum hic obtinerem, in vincula duci atque ad triremim rapi iuberem, ut remigum numerum augeret. Sed audi alterum, non minus flagitiose insanientem. Loquenti mihi de his ipsis Ciceronis orationibus apud unum de istis qui volunt omnia calamistris inurere, 12 “Sunt,” inquit, “Ciceronis scripta telae cuiusdam instar simplicis ac nudae, quibus ego varia ornamentorum genera tanquam Phrygium aliquod opus insuerem.” Si adeo olim in rhetorem quendam exarsi quod Manutium, Tursellinum, Bunellum, primae notae homines, ut nullius ingenii carpebat ideo, quia eorum 10 Sen. Controv. 3.16: “Memini me intrare scholam eius cum recitaturus esset in Milonem; Cestius ex consuetudine sua miratus dicebat: ‘si Thraex essem, Fusius essem; si pantomimus essem, Bathyllus essem; si equus, Melissio.’ Non continui bilem et exclamavi: ‘si cloaca esses, maxima esses.’ Risus omnium ingens; scholastici intueri me, quis essem qui tam crassas cervices haberem. Cestius Ciceroni responsurus mihi quod responderet non invenit, sed negavit se executurum nisi exissem de domo. Ego negavi me de balneo publico exiturum nisi lotus essem.” 11 Cic. Cat. I.1.: “O tempora, O mores! Senatus haec intellegit, consul videt; hic tamen vivit. Vivit? immo vero etiam in senatum venit, fit publici consili particeps, notat et designat oculis ad caedem unum quemque nostrum.” 12 Cic. Brut. LXXV.262: “qui illa volent calamistris inruere.” 6 7 <?page no="74"?> Dedicatory Letter 75 At this point the rhetor Caestius comes to mind, who, while preparing to respond to Cicero’s speech Pro Milone in class before his students, applied this principle, “If I were a Thracian, I would be Fusius; if I were a mime, I would be Pantillus; if a knight, Melison.” 4 Seneca the Elder happened to be present who, because he was a man of sharp wit and singular judgment, didn’t contain his anger but said in front of everyone who was listening, “If you were a sewer, you would be a big one.” 5 Everyone who was there died from laughter, and Caestius fell silent because, while he had a ready response for Cicero, he didn’t have one for Seneca. What was particularly humorous was that Seneca then grabbed Caestius in the Forum and dragged him by the scruff before all of the praetors and, as a joke, began to torment him with all manner of lawsuits. But when his friends happened upon this sight and asked him about it, he said he would not bother Caestius anymore, if Caestius swore that Cicero was more eloquent than he himself. But he never succeeded in making him do it, either as a joke or seriously. What? Do you think that, if Seneca were to come back to life, he would be able to force such a confession out of these people with fear and threats? On the contrary, I think that they would sooner die a thousand deaths than rank themselves below Cicero. There is a man alive today—alive and walking around confidently, in plain view of everyone, without fear of stoning—who, while I was exalting Cicero’s orations with the highest praise, almost annoyed said, “Damn it, what is it you find so praiseworthy in his orations? Today children write like Cicero.” But I wouldn’t summon that man to court in front of a judge as a joke. Instead, if given the authority in this case, I would toss him in chains and order him taken off to a trireme and added to the crew of oarsmen. But take a look at this other man, who is just as shamefully mad. While I was speaking about these very Ciceronian orations to one of those sorts of writers who want to put their mark on everything with ornamental flourishes, he said, “Cicero’s writings are like a plain and bare canvas on which I can embroider various sorts of ornaments, like an artwork in the Phrygian style.” 6 If I once got so enraged at a certain rhetor for criticizing those first-rate men Manuzio, Torsellino, and Bunel 7 as being devoid of talent because their writings lacked ornaments, as he called them (or follies as I usually say), what ire, what anger do you suppose I directed against that man who invalidated the father of 4 The original text records the name of the mime as Bathyllus (not Pantillus) and the knight (eques) Melison as a horse (equus) named Melissio (the substitution of eques for equus could be a typesetter error). 5 The Latin is cloaca … magna which might call to mind ancient Rome’s Cloaca Maxima (the “greatest sewer”), one of the earliest urban sewage systems. 6 Clothing or cloth that was embroidered and/ or had precious stones sewn into it. 7 Paolo Manuzio (1512-1574), Orazio Torsellino (1545-1599), Pierre Bunel (1499-1549). 6 7 <?page no="75"?> 76 Eudemia in Ten Books scripta ornamentorum (ut ipse aiebat), sed (ut ego soleo dicere) ineptiarum nihil haberent, quo stomacho qua iracundia me esse elatum in illum existimas, qui hoc eodem genere eloquentiae parentem circumscriberet? Quod si huic inornatus est Cicero, in quo omnes flores, omnes veneres atque omnis elegantiae nitor elucet, in cuius labris multo verius quam olim dictum est de Pericle eloquentiae dea sessitavit, 13 ornatusne Caesar videbitur, cuius Commentarii nudi existimantur ac recti omni ornatu orationis tanquam veste detraсta? 14 At si ineptus, stultus, insanus semper est habitus qui eisdem commentariis praebitam sibi potius quam praereptam scribendi materiam existimavit, videat ille qui ornatissimas Ciceronis orationes tanquam infulas ducit, in quibus pueriles aliquas delicias depingat 15 vel tanquam fores vel parietes habet quos elogiorum carbonibus impleat, 16 ne in eorum stultorum numero sit habendus, quorum tutela ex lege XII Tabularum ad agnatos et proximos abeat. Sed ego fortasse stultus, qui ea quae non intellego reprehendo et inscitiae meae culpam in abstrusam atque reconditam doctrinae illorum vim varietatemque conicio. Quamobrem redeo cum illis in gratiam meque ad illorum sapientiam prope nihil esse confiteor. Verum posthac ab eorum libris abstinebo meque tecum vel cum iis oblectabo qui volunt esse nobis (qui non sumus eruditissimi) familiares. Sed venit mihi in mentem mittere ad te hoc breve opus, quod proximis aestivis diebus fallendi temporis causa ex quibusdam narrationibus, olim a me scriptis, paucis quibusdam additis texui. In quo, si non eadem quae in tuis scriptis orationis copia ac nitor elucet, eadem saltem mens et conatus apparet. Nam summa data est opera a me, si tamen assequi potui, ut orationis cursus pure ac dilucide, velut liquidus ac profluens amnis, nulla verborum insolentia nullaque obscuritate, tanquam caeno perfusus, devolveretur. 17 Sed ego insanio qui, dum me debeam exolvere, tibi arctius obstringo. Quantum enim ad id quod tibi debeo accesserit, si aliquid temporis in his percurrendis insumpseris? 18 Fac me diligas et valetudinem tuam publico litterarum bono cures diligenter. 13 Cic. Brut. XV.59: “ut quam deam in Pericli labris scripsit Eupolis sessitavisse.” 14 Cic. Brut. LXXV.262: “Valde quidem, inquam, probandos; nudi enim sunt, recti et venusti, omni ornatu orationis tamquam veste detracta.” 15 Cic. De or. III.XXI.81: “Pamphilumque nescio quem sinamus in infulis tantam rem tanquam pueriles delicias aliquas depingere.” 16 Plaut. Merc. II.iii.409: “impleantur elegeorum meae fores carbonibus.” 17 There are echoes here of Horace’s criticism of Lucilius as a muddy river (lutulentus) in Sat. I.IV.11 and I.X.50. 18 insumseris 1645 8 <?page no="76"?> Dedicatory Letter 77 eloquence in the same way? Yet if Cicero seems plain to this man—Cicero, in whom every ornament, every loveliness, every sheen of eloquence sparkles, on whose lips it is said, more accurately than it once was about Pericles, that the goddess of eloquence sat—will Caesar seem ornate to him, whose Commentaries were considered simple and straightforward and stripped of every rhetorical ornament, as if of its clothing? But if a person, who has thought that Caesar’s Commentaries offered him (rather than taken away from him) material for writing, is always considered inept, foolish, and incompetent, he should take care not to be deemed one of those simpletons, whom the law of the Twelve Tables entrusts to the guardianship of his sons and relatives, if he imagines Cicero’s ornate orations as a swath on which to draw childish doodles, or as doors or walls to fill with graffiti. But perhaps I’m the foolish one for criticizing what I do not understand. I place the blame for my ignorance on the abstruse and recondite power and eclecticism of their erudition. For that reason, I will make peace with them and admit to not being able to hold a candle to their wisdom. Instead, I will hereafter swear off their books and amuse myself with you, or with those who want to be friends with those of us who are not very learned. But the idea came to me to send you this short work, which I stitched together from some stories I recently composed during these recent summer days, in order to pass the time, with a few things added. If the same level of rhetorical richness and splendor does not shine in this book, as it does in your writings, then at least it manifests the same attitude and effort. After all, I strove with all my might (assuming I was able to succeed) for the course of my speech to flow freely and clearly, just like a fluid and running stream, and not full of novel or obscure words, as if with mud. But I am insane. While I should be bidding you farewell, instead I am becoming even more obligated to you. How much will this add to what I already owe you, if you devote some time to reading my compositions? See that you love me and take care of your health, for the general good of literature. 8 <?page no="77"?> 78 Eudemia in Ten Books Lectori salutem Operae pretium me esse facturum existimavi, si ab eis qui ad haec inspicienda aggrediuntur, pauca quaedam antea precer. Primum ut persuasum sibi esse velint nullius a me hominis (quem quidem ego noverim) famam hac narratione lacerari carpique; sed eos tantum mores exponi, qui iam inde ab hominibus natis omnium populorum iudicio damnantur ac reiciuntur. Deinde nullam rempublicam earum quae nunc vigent, in hac civitate quam ego describo derideri atque contemni, sed improbis civibus ea vitia assignari, in quibus qui moenibus eisdem continentur praesertim labuntur et cadunt, ad eum finem, ut prope in conspectum adducta deformitate sua contemplantibus odium ingenerent. Postremo qui haec attigerint pro comperto habeant velim in hac scriptione nihil tam mihi fuisse propositum quam voluptatem aliquam legentibus quaerere. Nam qui ab iis se maxime vitiis abstinent, quae in aliis reprehendent, erit causa cur latenter ac festinantius prodeant virtutibus longius; qui vero eorum aliquibus se esse affines intellegent, deformitate eorundem commoti dabunt operam, Deo iuvante, ut ab eisdem emergant et ad honestatis terminos unde recesserunt quam primum regrediantur. Argumentum Cum Seiani coniuratio contra Tiberium inita palam esset, Flavius Vopiscus Niger et Paulus Aemilius Verus, eiusdem coniurationis conscii, veriti ne indicarentur, statuunt fuga sibi consulere. Quamobrem conscenso navigio quod in Africam solvebat post longam ac prosperam navigationem adversa tempestate аbrepti, ab eaque diu multumque exagitati, in unam ex insulis Mauritaniae, Eudemia nomine, aliis etiam Mauris incognitam, abstrahuntur; ubi naufragi et incerti vagantes a Gallonio, cive Romano‚ qui quinquennium ante eodem tempestate delatus fuerat, excipiuntur et partim аb eo, partim suis ipsi oculis de eorum hominum moribus multa percipiunt. <?page no="78"?> Plot Summary 79 To the Reader I thought it worthwhile for me to ask a few things, in advance, of those who are intending to read this book. The first is that they accept that no one’s reputation, certainly no one I know, has been harmed or ruined by this story; but that I recount the character only of those who, already from mankind’s beginnings, have been condemned and scorned by the judgment of all peoples. Next, that no state in existence today has been mocked and criticized in the society that I describe, but that the vices are attributed to its wicked citizenry, and it is the people living within the city walls who slip and fall into error. My goal is for their depravity to engender hatred when it is brought to the attention of those who see it. Finally, I would like that whoever takes up this book knows for certain that, in writing it, I had no intention other than to get a laugh out of anyone reading it. After all, whoever abstains, to the greatest extent, from the vices that this book rebukes in others, that will be the reason for that person’s quiet but swift progress toward virtue; whereas those who perceive themselves as similar to some of those in the book, shaken by those characters’ depravity they should strive, with God’s help, to differentiate themselves from those people and return as quickly as possible within the bounds of respectability, whence they had departed. Plot Summary Once the conspiracy of Sejanus against Tiberius had come to light, Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus, who were accessories to the plot, resolved to save themselves by fleeing, so as not to face accusation. Consequently, they boarded a ship that was setting sail for Africa. After a long and favorable journey, they were caught up in a terrible storm and, having been tossed around for a long time, were carried off to one of the islands of Mauritania, named Eudemia, which was unknown to the other Mauritanians. There, shipwrecked and wandering aimlessly, they were rescued by Gallonius, a Roman citizen who had been brought there in a shipwreck five years earlier. Partly from Gallonius and partly by seeing it with their own eyes, they discover many things about the customs of the inhabitants of the island. <?page no="79"?> 80 Eudemia in Ten Books Liber I Iam Seiani coniuratio palam illuxerat et Tiberii crudelis animus 19 in omne genus feritatis eruperat, cum ego Flavius Vopiscus Niger, et mecum Paulus Aemilius Verus, qui in eiusdem coniurationis societate tanquam in equo Troiano includebamur, veriti eius saevitiam, noctu clam navim quae in Africam solvebat ascendimus, ut inde in remotissimas orbis terrae partes transferremur, ubi neque Tiberii neque Urbis 20 nomen audiretur. Sed votis nostris Fortuna largius etiam quam optabamus occurrit. Nam cum aliquandiu tranquillo placidoque mari vecti essemus, decimo post die saevo et implacabili uti coepimus. Etenim subito inhorruit atque, erumpentibus undique ventis, ita desaeviit, 21 ut aliquot post menses naufragos nos et paene perditos, armamentis fere omnibus amissis, in longinquas et incertas regiones abstraxerit. Itaque, sarcinulis nostris collectis, in quibus erant gemmae complures atque auri magna vis, in terram descendimus. Ac primo vastae regiones occurrunt desertae; nulla in illis arbor, nullum aedificium, nullum culti soli vestigium. Tum aperuere se campi, virenti gramine laeti omnique florum varietate vestiti; liquores amnium perlucidi; lacus limpidissimi, dulcibus aquis passim manantibus decurrentibusque collecti; colles amoenissimi, vitibus arboribusque consiti, quorum unus, paulo eminentior ceteris, impositas sublimi vertice ferebat aedes, modicas illas quidem, sed lepide factas atque venuste; ante quas formosissima morus, depellendi aestus causa, ramos late fundebat. Quem locum domino ad quietem animi et delectationem quaesitum esse docebat inscriptio aedibus praefixa: Formosi colles Bacchi, suprema voluptas, et iucunda oculis arva beata meis, fecundae valles semperque virentia prata, qua vaga muscosis diffugit unda iugis, hoc date pro votis, ut mens oblita malorum 5 19 Sall. Cat. 31: “Catilinae crudelis animus.” 20 vilis 1637 21 desaevit 1637 1 2 3 <?page no="80"?> Book One 81 Book One When the conspiracy of Sejanus had already clearly come to light, and Tiberius’s cruel nature had erupted in all manner of savagery, I, Flavius Vopiscus Niger, 8 together with Paulus Aemilius Verus, found ourselves caught up in that very conspiracy as if enclosed within a Trojan horse. Fearing the emperor’s rage, in the middle of the night we secretly boarded a ship that was setting sail for Africa, so we could be transported to the remotest regions of the world where we would never hear of Tiberius or Rome again. But Fortune answered our prayers even more generously than we could have hoped. We were carried along for some time on a peaceful and placid sea, but after ten days we began to experience its savagery and restlessness. All of a sudden, the sea rose up and raged so fiercely, with winds gusting furiously all around us, that it delivered us after a few months to a faraway and unknown part of the world, shipwrecked, nearly dead, and with our vessel almost entirely lost. We collected our bags, in which we were carrying many precious stones and a large quantity of gold, and we made our way to shore. The first place we came upon was vast and deserted with no trees, structures, or any trace of cultivated land in sight. Soon fields began to open up before us filled with rich, green grass and adorned with all sorts of flowers. There were rivers coursing with pristine liquid, crystal-clear lakes filled with sweet water that flowed and ran down from all sides, and pleasant hills planted with vines and trees. One of the hills was somewhat higher than the others, its lofty summit supporting a modest dwelling that was nonetheless elegantly and pleasingly constructed. In front of the dwelling the most beautiful mulberry tree was spreading out its branches far and wide to provide respite from the heat. That its owner had singled out that particular spot for providing peace of mind and a sense of delight was made clear from a plaque affixed to the outside of the home: Beautiful hills, the supreme delight of Bacchus, and beautiful farmland splendid to my eyes, fertile valleys, evergreen fields where a meandering stream flows down from mossy ridges, grant us this in exchange for our prayers: that our mind, having forgotten all evils, pass its pleasing moments of leisure in these peaceful surroundings. Our 8 The first and second name (praenomen and nomen) may be a reference to Flavius Vopiscus, one of the supposed six authors of the Historia Augusta, a fourth-century CE collection of biographies of Roman emperors; the last name may be a reference to the cognomen of Titus Petronius Niger, the real name of Petronius Arbiter, author of the Satyricon (Tilg 2020: 87). Giachino (2002: 188) associates this pseudonym with the author of Eudemia himself, comparing the character’s chromatic last name Niger (black) with that of Rossi’s real name, as well as his real-life pseudonym, Erythraeus (both meaning red). 1 2 3 <?page no="81"?> 82 Eudemia in Ten Books otia pacatis degat amica locis. Elysios vobis iam sic non praeferet agros notaque felici flumina ducta solo. Loci amoenitas et lassitudo fessos ad requiem vocabat; sed fames et cupiditas cognoscendi quo caelo tegeremur, quodque hominum genus ea loca teneret, progredi longius cogebat. Sed vix millia repsimus tria, cum nova rerum facies se offert: loca horrida, inculta, vepribus ac spinis obsita; speluncae in incredibilem altitudinem depressae, aditus asperi ac perangusti, modo ascensus, modo descensus atque in praecipitia. Sed haec quoque incommoda evadimus et in aequatam agri planitiem 22 devenimus. Rursus flores lectissimi, aquae perennes, arbores procerrimae ac viridissimae, et in summa eius agri planitie horti perpetua macerie conclusi conspiciuntur. In quorum aditu hoc hexastichon capitalibus litteris affabre insculptum perlegimus: Praecipites inter quas nunc Lucania montes delicias nutrit, visere quisquis amas, ne loca praeruptis mirere horrentia saxis, et sterilem denso robore fessus humum: ad nova tantarum siquidem miracula rerum 5 debuerant faciles non patuisse viae. Et quia loci cultus et elegantia spem dabat brevi affuturum, qui nos certos faceret quo sub caelo aut quibus in regionibus animam duceremus, membra longo itinere defatigata in herba proiecimus, sub umbra quam multae atque procerae ulmi ad opacandum eum locum patulis diffusae ramis efficiebant. 22 Besides the exact phrase “aequata agri planities,” which occurs here and elsewhere, this entire passage has echoes of the description of Enna in Cic. Verr. II.IV.XLVIII.107. 4 5 6 <?page no="82"?> Book One 83 mind will not prefer the Elysian Fields to you, or the famous river that flows through that happy land. Both the beauty of the place and our own weariness were calling on us, exhausted, to rest; but hunger and our desire to know under what sky we were, and what kind of people lived here, pushed us to keep going. We had barely walked three miles before a new sight revealed itself. Wild and uncultivated places covered in brambles and thorns; deep caves sunk into unbelievable depths with difficult and narrow access, sometimes in ascent and sometimes in precipitous descent. But we managed to escape these hardships as well and reached a level plain. Once again wonderful flowers, unceasing waters, tall green trees, and, at the far end of the plain, gardens enclosed within a continuous stone wall came into view. We read through a six-line poem that was skillfully carved in capital letters at the entrance to the gardens: Whoever you are who wishes to gaze upon the delights which Lucania nourishes among the steep mountains, do not wonder, exhausted, that this place is rough with steep rocks and that the ground is devoid of dense thickets; because, indeed, the paths to an extraordinary view of such great things should not be easily accessible. 9 Because the refinement and elegance of that place gave us hope that someone would soon arrive to let us know what country or region we were now dwelling in, we threw our bodies, worn out from our long voyage, down onto the grass in the shade created by many tall elm trees that were spreading their branches out to cover that spot. 9 This six-line poem, or hexastichon, is reminiscent of inscriptions on the portals of walled gardens in Rome that followed the custom of the Lex hortorum, a principle that gained prominence in the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries whereby estate owners would create beautiful gardens not only for their own personal enjoyment, but for that of their friends and even strangers (Coffin 1982: 202). This garden and the ones described in Books Two and Ten represent the sumptuous, elite gardens of Rossi’s Rome, such as the famous gardens of the Villa Borghese, Villa Giulia, Villa Medici, Villa Peretti-Montalto, and the Vatican. An excellent resource for viewing many of the elaborate gardens of Rome’s noble families are the detailed engravings in Giovanni Battista Falda’s Li giardini di Roma con le loro piante alzate e vedute in prospettiva (Roma: Gio. Giacomo de Rossi, 1670). 4 5 6 <?page no="83"?> 84 Eudemia in Ten Books Nec spes fefellit. Nam haud ita multo post, magno cum strepitu pessula ingentia foribus hortorum obdita removeri sentimus; atque ecce tibi nobis sese in conspectum dat vir quidam, peregrino sane cultu, sed facie urbana planeque Romani generis propria. Qui, simul ut nos vidit, suspexit in caelum et, “Grates,” inquit, “tibi ago, summe sol vobisque reliquis, caelites, quod ego praeter omnem spem conspicor in his regionibus nobilissimos adolescentes, populares meos. Sed quisnam casus vos huc detulit? Facite me quamprimum ut sciam. Nam consilio atque etiam re et opera iuvero.” - “Tiberii,” inquam, “saevitia et Seiani coniuratio, nuper admodum detecta, cuius conscientia ambo devincti tenemur, nos in fugam impulit ac tempestas in haec loca proiecit.” - “Quid audio? ” inquit ille. “Seianus coniuravit in Caesarem? At me Seianus olim intimum consiliis suis habuit, cupiditatum suarum administrum ducemque praefecit. Ego sum ille Gallonius, qui, ut saltem fama novistis, comitate facetiisque eram omnibus carus. Sed Urbis pertaesus, Olysipponem migrare statueram ibique apud hospitem meum quidquid reliquum erat vitae traducere. Itaque abhinc quinquennium, convasatis rebus carissimis, ac poëtarum, oratorum historicorumque fere omnium voluminibus in unum coactis, navem conscendi. Sed non mihi minus quam vobis Neptunus imposuit. Nam placide primum dorso exceptum tulit; tum velut equus acer et indomitus coepit concussare ac me velle deicere. Denique omnes caelestes maritimosque terrores diu perpessum in hoc litus eiecit, non magis vobis quam mihi ignotum. “Sed pro re nata cecidit mihi sane res non infeliciter. Non enim deferri quoquam poteram ubi vellem esse libentius quam in hac insula. Nam inveni hic homines voluptuarios multos ac gutturi deditos et, quod rem continet, praeter nonnulla vocabula Graeca, omnes Latine loquentes. Etenim qua tempestate Scipionem Africanum in Africam traicientem, cum adversa tempestate conflictatum esse Coelius 23 enarrat, aiunt duas Romanorum militum triremes, vi ventorum a ceteris avulsas, fuisse in hoc litus abstractas. Sed milites in terram egressos incolae huius insulae benigne et humaniter exceperunt ac primum hospitio, tum affinitate sibi iunxerunt. Postremo eorum sermone assuefacti, vernacula lingua paulatim omissa, Latine loqui coeperunt. At fuere praeclara ingenia quae, cum se ad scribendum contulissent, egregia ac praeclara multa tum soluta oratione, tum versibus ediderunt, ac tum maxime, cum meo adventu Virgilii, Ciceronis, Sallustii, Caesaris et aliorum huius notae auctorum scripta aspiciendi potestas accessit; quos auctores hodie nemo est quin habeat, quin legat, quin imitetur praeter paucos ineptos. Atque haec una est ex insulis Mauretaniae, Eudemia 23 Caelius 1637, 1645 7 8 <?page no="84"?> Book One 85 And our hope did not fail us. Not long thereafter we heard the giant bolts locking the garden gates being drawn back and, behold, a man came into view. He was dressed in foreign attire but had a refined countenance that was clearly characteristic of a Roman. As soon as he saw us he looked up at the sky and exclaimed, “Thanks be to you, Sun on high, and to the rest of you, celestial beings, for allowing me, against all hope, to lay eyes on these most noble youths, my countrymen, here in this place. But what fate has brought you here? Tell me straightaway. I will assist you with any advice, matter, and aid.” I responded, “Tiberius’s cruelty and the conspiracy of Sejanus, which was recently fully exposed (and which we were caught up in because of our involvement), spurred us to flee, and a storm tossed us onto these shores.” - “What is this I hear? ” the man said. “Sejanus conspired against the emperor? But Sejanus once considered me his closest confidant, placing me, his assistant, in charge of realizing his desires. I am Gallonius (you at least know me by reputation), whom everyone loved because of my friendliness and sense of humor. But I grew weary of Rome and resolved to move to Lisbon to live out the rest of my life with a friend. Five years ago, I packed up all of my most treasured belongings, gathered up my library of nearly all the poets, orators, and historians, and I boarded a ship. But Neptune had it in for me as much as he did for you. At first, he carried me peacefully on his back, but then he began shaking me about like a fierce, unbroken horse bent on throwing me off. For a long time he subjected me to all the terrors of land and sea, finally casting me onto this shore, which was just as unknown to me as it was to you. “As it happened, something not altogether unfortunate befell me because it is not possible for me to have landed in any place I would rather be than on this very island. I have found many men here devoted to pleasure and dedicated to gluttony and, more to the point, all of them Latin speakers, except for a few Greek words. Indeed, at the time reported by Coelius, 10 when Scipio Africanus was crossing to Africa and was buffeted by contrary winds, they say that two triremes carrying Roman soldiers were torn away from the rest of the fleet 10 A reference to Livy’s Ab urbe condita (IX.XXIX.27.14) in which he cites a passage from Lucius Coelius Antipater’s work on the Second Punic War describing a violent storm that caused a fleet of the Roman general Scipio Africanus’s (c. 236-184 BCE) ships to be blown off course to the shores of Africa resulting in much destruction. Livy specifies that Coelius’s account is unique (“Coelius unus”), since the other Greek and Latin sources he uses describe Scipio’s voyage as prosperous and free of such a violent tempest. Rossi chooses this exceptional account from Livy because it serves his narrative by providing a reason for why two triremes in Scipio’s fleet would have ended up on Eudemia, as well as setting up a parallel “historical” shipwreck story to mirror the storm and shipwreck that brings Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus to the island two centuries later. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 1. 7 8 <?page no="85"?> 86 Eudemia in Ten Books nomine. Sed interea, dum regionis huius mores et statum vobis expono, reficite vos, quaeso, esca et potione, quorum maxime indigetis.” Statim afferri iussit farcimina aliquot, caseum bubulum (veterem ac recentem), panes siligineos, frusta carnis vitulinae assae, capones semesos, praeterea vina vetusta ac generosa. Ille vero, dum nos sic strati in herba discumbimus, “Ita,” inquit, “ut occepi dicere, postquam me Neptunus tres menses integros in ventre habuit, demum in has regiones evomuit, ubi dynastae ad quindecim summo cum honore et auctoritate rem gerunt; qui capiunt sibi sortito quotannis regem unum, qui ceteris praesit et summam imperii teneat harum regionum. Dynastae vero, quod dixi, si antea quam in eum ordinem cooptentur, uxores habeant, cum illis in summa rerum omnium abundantia aetatem agunt; sin autem illis careant, nihil est quod de uxore ducenda amplius cogitent; immo, qui sunt eiusmodi, si in eo magistratu feminae notitiam habuisse comperiantur, in magnam apud omnes infamiam incurrunt. Neque est quod putent sua se posse flagitia occultare; ea enim, cum non humili obscuroque loco, 24 sed edito et illustri admittantur, omnium statim oculis patent. Itaque qui eius honoris sunt cupidi, summae sibi continentiae legem indicunt: in omni victu cultuque fines modestiae non transeunt; non raedis auratis utuntur; non circumpedes sericatos circa se habent; pecunias, quas ex suis sacerdotiis redigunt, in usus pauperum conferunt; conciones quotidie ad populum habent, quibus popularium vitia acriter insectantur. 24 loco not present in 1637 9 <?page no="86"?> Book One 87 by the force of the winds and brought to these shores. But when the soldiers disembarked onto the land, the inhabitants of this island welcomed them in a kind and gentle manner, allying with them at first through their hospitality and eventually through intermarriage. Finally, once they had become used to the soldiers’ language, little by little the inhabitants of the island set aside their own language and began speaking Latin. Their brilliant, natural talent was such that, when they set themselves to writing, they produced many brilliant and splendid works, both in prose and in verse; and, especially thanks to my arrival, they were able to examine the writings of Virgil, Cicero, Sallust, Caesar, and other authors of this caliber. Now there is nobody who does not own, read, or imitate these authors, except for an inept few. 11 The name of this island is Eudemia and it is part of Mauritania. 12 Meanwhile, however, while I explain the customs and manners of this region to you, I invite you to restore yourselves with food and drink, which you are in great need of.” Straightaway, he ordered us up some sausages, cow’s milk cheese (both aged and fresh), loaves of wheat bread, slices of grilled veal, leftover capons, not to mention wine that was aged and of excellent vintage. While we were lying stretched out on the grass, Gallonius said, “So, as I had begun to tell you, after Neptune kept me in his belly for three whole months, he finally spit me out onto this land where around fifteen dynasts rule with the highest honor and authority. They draw lots every year to select one of them to be their rex [sacrorum], and that one rules over all the others and holds the highest command over these lands. 13 If these aforementioned dynasts were married before they were elected to that order, they are allowed to live out their lives with their wives enjoying all aspects of that life in the greatest abundance. If, on the other hand, they are not married, there is no longer any need for them to consider taking a wife. 14 On the contrary, if those without wives are found 11 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib I n. 2) compares this passage with Hythloday’s account, in the second book of More’s Utopia, of bringing his library of Greek authors to the island so the inhabitants could speak, read, and write in Greek after the best authors. 12 The name of Rossi’s fictional island Eudemia derives from the Greek εὖ δῆμος meaning “land of good people.” 13 Dynasts, fifteen in number, are the ruling class on the island of Eudemia and correspond to the cardinals in Rossi’s Rome. The leader of the dynasts is the king or rex (sometimes called rex sacrorum) and is equivalent to the Pope. Like the Pope, the rex sacrorum is elected from among the dynasts/ cardinals. 14 The presence of both unmarried and married dynasts is a reference to the presence of both unmarried and married members of Pope Urban VIII’s court (not all of whom were celibate priests or cardinals). For example, Urban VIII’s older brother, Carlo Barberini, was married with children and held a high office in the Roman Curia. The implication is clear, however, that the preferred status for dynasts is to be unmarried; being married is acceptable as long as the marriage predated the person’s becoming a dynast. 9 <?page no="87"?> 88 Eudemia in Ten Books “Ac praesertim iis persuadere conantur non una cum corporibus animos hominum interire, sed esse aeternos ac superesse aliquid post mortem quod ad ipsos pertineat; neque tricipitem apud Inferos Cerberum, Cocyti fremitum, transvectionem Acherontis, mento summam aquam attingentem siti enectum Tantalum, illudque quod Sisyphus versat saxum, inexorabiles iudices Minoem et Rhadamantum 25 fabulas aniles esse ac poëtarum pictorumque portenta, sed certa atque gravissima apud Inferos improbis constituta supplicia. Atque interdum accidit ut quos genus hoc vitae praeter modum delectaverit, post mortem in deorum numerum referant, eisque templa, aras, flamines instituant, passimque ab omnibus ad eorum aras vota nuncupentur, victimae caedantur, iuramenta concipiantur. Sed quamvis hic apud eos honos longe maximus habeatur, adeo, ut supra addi nihil possit, attamen, si quis eum promerere studeat, huic homini pauci deos propitios plerique iratos putant. Nam praestare aiunt multo unum diem in summis voluptatibus esse quam multa saecula in hominum memoria vigere. “Longe alia est eorum ratio qui sunt uxoribus praediti. Iis enim, diis hominibusque omnibus approbantibus, licitum est suo arbitratu vivere, voluptatibus indulgere, longe sumptibus progredi. Iis permissum videtur ut ex pecuniis, quas ex pinguibus sacerdotiis quibus praediti sunt colligunt, uxoribus in redimiculum praebeant, in collum, in crines; ut eisdem domos ac villas in urbium modum aedificent, Attalicis peristromatis ornent, supellectile aurea instituant (nam argentea apud eos eviluit), raedis serico constratis multoque interlitis auro equos pretiosissimos addant, sericis item atque auratis ephippiis ornatos. Denique persuasum est omnibus in uxores eorum, quos vel meritum, vel ambitio, vel 25 Cic. Tusc. I.V.10: “Dic quaeso: num te illa terrent, triceps apud inferos Cerberus, Cocyti fremitus, travectio Acherontis, ‘mento summam aquam attingens enectus siti’ Tantalus? Tum illud, quod ‘Sisyphus versat saxum sudans nitendo neque proficit hilum? ’ fortasse etiam inexorabiles iudices, Minos et Rhadamanthus? ” 10 11 <?page no="88"?> Book One 89 to have had relations with a woman, they are utterly and publicly disgraced. Moreover, no one believes it is possible to conceal his shameful acts. Because those who commit these acts do not hold lowly or anonymous positions in society, but lofty and respectable ones, their deeds are immediately made public. Therefore, those who desire this honor hold themselves to the principle of the highest self-restraint, not exceeding the bounds of modesty in any type of food and clothing; not riding around in golden carriages; not surrounding themselves with parasites garbed in silk 15 ; committing whatever money they raise from their priestly duties to the poor; and holding daily sermons before the people where they passionately inveigh against the vices of common folk. “In particular, they strive to persuade their countrymen that a person’s soul is eternal and does not die with his body, and that something inherent within them lives on after death; that three-headed Cerberus dwelling in infernal regions, the roar of Cocytus, the crossing of Acheron, Tantalus tormented by thirst and touching his chin to the edge of the water, the tale of Sisyphus rolling his stone, or the immovable judges Minos and Rhadamanthus are not just old wives’ tales and the extravagant fictions of poets and painters, but that the punishments for the wicked in the underworld are certain and most severe. It sometimes happens that those who are devoted to this way of life beyond all measure are enlisted in the company of the gods after they die. 16 Temples, altars, and priesthoods are established for them, and everyone everywhere prays to them at their altars, making sacrifices and swearing oaths to them. Although this is considered the highest honor among these people, so much so that nothing could possibly be greater, nevertheless, if anyone strives to achieve it, few people think that the gods look favorably upon that person, with most thinking that the gods are angry with him. For they say that it is far better to experience a single day of the greatest pleasure than to live for generations in people’s memories. “The conduct of those who have wives is vastly different. They are permitted to live as they wish, indulging in pleasures and carrying on with excessive spending, with the full approval of gods and men. It seems that they are permitted, with the money acquired from the rich priestly duties they hold, to amass wealth, hand it over to their wives to buy a fillet to wear around their neck or in their hair, and build them houses or villas as big as entire cities, which they 15 This series of accouterments that the leading citizens of Eudemia do not possess is a commentary on the luxuries enjoyed by wealthy Romans in Rossi’s time, in particular by members of the ostentatious papal court. Rossi’s mention here of gilded coaches demonstrates the spectacular presence of what Nussdorfer (1992: 19) describes as the “newly arrived vehicle of conspicuous consumption on the streets of Rome in the seventeenth century.” 16 A reference to saints. 10 11 <?page no="89"?> 90 Eudemia in Ten Books fortuna, vel casus in id dignitatis fastigium evexisset, omnem regalis opulentiae cultum convenire, quo una cum maritis fruantur. Sed omnes simul dynastae, tum caelibes, tum ii quibus sunt uxores et liberi, de omnibus controversiis publicis una cum rege constituunt, sacrificia procurant, sacerdotia inter se divisa habent, ingentes eorum reditus, quorum magnam partem in suos usus transferunt, ad victimas coemendas, quibus Iovi, Minervae, Apollini ac ceteris diis sacrificent atque ad ministros complures alendos conferunt.” Hic cum paululum interquievisset, Paulus Aemilius redintegratis viribus, “Dii,” inquit, “dent tibi quae vis. Nunquam esca una bene de me meruit 26 magis quam prandium quod mihi dedisti. Sed illud nobis expedi: quisnam est hortorum istorum dominus, qui, ut inscriptio fronti affixa pollicetur, sunt octavum mundi miraculum? ” Tum ille, “Non hos modo,” inquit, “hortos, sed etiam circumiectos hortis campos ille possidet, cui ego meas operas locavi. Hic est Dynasta Plusius, copiis, auctoritate atque opibus ceterorum facile princeps. Hic artis coquinariae, cuius peritissimus habeor in primis studiosus, quia bonas cenas et prandia concinno, universae familiae quasi habenas mihi tradidit. Itaque sum promus, condus, atriensis, 27 praegustator, carpus. 28 Nam quae apud vos servulorum sunt munera, hic liberis atque nobilibus mandantur. Ego cocis, ego cellariis impero; ego contumaces ac minus frequentes mercedis vel diariorum parte aliqua multo, neque quisquam mutire aut hiscere audet.” Tum “Tu igitur,” inquit Aemilius, “si tibi est otium, et si dominus nevult, duc nos quantum potest in hortos istos; cupimus hercle eos aspicere.” - “Ut lubet,” inquit ille. “Nam et ego otiosus sum, et domino nihil gratius potest accidere, quem in summa rerum omnium abundantia non solum luxuria, sed etiam luxuriae fama delectat.” At ego, de auro sollicitus quod ferebamus, “Quaeso,” inquam, “Galloni, locum aliquem tutum 26 The currently accepted reading for this line in Plaut. Mostell. (III.ii.691) is “nec quod una esca me iuverit magis” (see Plautus and de Melo 2011-13). For an example of the earlier reading “meruit” (or “meruerit”) see M. Accii Plauti Latinae comoediae facile principis fabulae superstites XX (Lugduni Batavorum: Ex officina Plantiniana, 1589) and the critical apparatus in Plautus and Weise 1847. 27 Plaut. Pseud. II.ii.608-9: “Harp: Quid istuc verbist? Ps: Condus promus sum, procurator peni. Harp: Quasi te dicas atriensem. Ps: Immo atriensi ego impero.” 28 Carpus: the name of a meat carver in Petron. Sat. 36: “Vides illum, inquit, qui obsonium carpit: Carpus vocatur. Itaque quotiescunque dicit ‘Carpe,’ eodem verbo et vocat et imperat.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 4. 12 <?page no="90"?> Book One 91 decorate with carpets worthy of Attalus of Pergamum and outfit with furniture made of gold (because silver is beneath them). To their carriages, which are lined with silk and inlaid with gold, they yoke very costly horses likewise decorated with silk and gold horsecloth. Finally, they are all persuaded to commit themselves to cultivating splendid opulence (whether they have reached that high level of greatness deservedly, or through ambition, good fortune, or chance) for the sake of their wives, who get to enjoy it alongside their husbands. But all of the dynasts, both the unmarried ones and those with wives and children, resolve all public disputes together with the rex [sacrorum], organize sacrifices, divide priestly duties among themselves, and use their sizable revenues (a large portion of which they divert to their own private use) for acquiring sacrificial animals that they use for making sacrifices to Jove, Minerva, Apollo, and the rest of the gods, and for feeding their many attendants.” When he had paused a while, Paulus Aemilius, with his strength restored, said, “May the gods grant you whatever you wish. Never have I been so pleased with a meal as with the lunch you served me. But this brings us to the question: Who is the owner of these gardens that the inscription mounted at the entrance promises to be the eighth wonder of the world? ” Gallonius responded, “The man I work for does not own just these gardens, but also the surrounding fields. He is Dynast Plusius, 17 and he is easily superior to all the others in wealth, authority, and resources. Because I am especially devoted to cookery, an art I am considered to be extremely skilled in, and because I am able to put together tasty dinners and lunches, he gave me the reins, so to speak, of his entire household. I am therefore his butler, his steward, his majordomo, his taster, and his carver. These duties, which, where you come from, are performed by lowly servants, are entrusted here to freedmen and nobles. I oversee the cooks and the stewards. I dock part of the wages or food allowance of anyone who is insolent or unreliable, and no one dares say a word or open his mouth.” Then Aemilius said, “If you have time, and if your master doesn’t mind, show us around as much of the gardens as you can. By God, we would love to see them.” - “As you like,” he said. “I am free now, and nothing better could befall my master. Because the wealth of all his possessions is substantial, it is not merely their extravagance that delights him, but also the wide reporting of it.” But I was worried about the gold we were carrying with us and said, “Gallonius, please find a safe place we can store these bags we’ve been carrying on our shoulders since we came to shore.” - “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.” When he picked up our 17 The lavish gardens described in this passage are likely a reference to the magnificent gardens of the Villa Peretti-Montalto, which was originally built by Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto’s uncle, Cardinal Felice Peretti, later Pope Sixtus V. The grand villa overlooked the Baths of Diocletian and its entrance stood where Termini Station is now. 12 <?page no="91"?> 92 Eudemia in Ten Books inveni, ubi has sarcinas deponamus quas in humeris usque a mari gestavimus.” - “Bono animo este,” inquit ille, “hoc ad me recipio.” Sumptasque in manus, “Hui, tam graves has, quaeso! ” ait ac pueris, quos secum habebat, portandas tradidit. Facta igitur potestate introeundi, primum in aequam et quadratam agri planitiem venimus multis arborum, florum herbarumque partitionibus ornatam et distinctam, in cuius medio fons nitet ingenti magnitudine atque admirabili opere factus. Totum opus ab inferiori parte quadrilaterum est, a superiori rotundum. Ab inferiori per quatuor scalarum ordines ex aequo distinctos ad superiorem ascenditur. Ubi magna ex basi, plurimis succincta monstris, inter leones quatuor totidemque gigantes e marmore, ingens vis aquarum erumpit et in subiectum defluit lacum, refunditurque per multa leonum capita, cancellis ibi circumductis affixa, in subiecta receptacula; et inde per occultos meatus ad alia leonum capita fertur, alteris cancellis paulo infra perductis haerentia, ut iterum refluat. At vero pars inferior ob quatuor eos aditus, unde in superiorem aditur, quatuor etiam in partes scissa atque distracta relinquitur; quarum unaquaeque pelagi cuiusdam imaginem refert, tam prope ad similitudinem veri, ut infra breve eiusdem spatium aequoris immensitatem agnoscere in liquidi fontis nitore, similem placido mari colorem aspicere videaris. Ad haec singulae in singulis pelagis naves, ex malis et antennis tenuem ac similem velis humorem extendentes, cum Tritonibus ternis buccina aquam fundentibus tanto artificio confictae versantur, ut naves non immobiles stare, sed totis pelagis ferri, nec Tritones buccina aquam spargere, sed inflare sonum leniter dicas. Praetereo obeliscos, vasa ex topho ceteraque ornamenta quibus omnes undique cancelli extrema omnium lacuum ora cinguntur. Nam alia longe admirabilia parvis et usitatis in rebus oculos immorari non sinunt. 13 <?page no="92"?> Book One 93 bags he exclaimed, “Goodness, I say, these are heavy! ” and he handed them over to the young men who were accompanying him to carry. Once we were given leave to enter, the first thing we came upon was a level plain that was flat, square, and adorned and decorated with many trees, flowers, and grasses. In the middle stood a shining fountain that had been fashioned to a great size and with astonishing craftsmanship. 18 The entire work of art was square at the bottom and round at the top, and it ascended, by way of four evenly spaced stairways, from the lowest part to the uppermost part, at which point an enormous quantity of water spouted from a large basin, encircled by many monsters, and flowed down around four marble lions, and just as many giants, into a pool below, before pouring back through many lions’ heads, mounted on surrounding grates, into reservoirs below. From there the water was carried through hidden channels toward other lion heads, affixed to other grates that continued on a bit further down, to then flow back again to the top. On the other hand, on account of the four channels through which the water reaches the top part, the lower part is separated and divided into four sections. Each of these sections is made to look like one of the four seas, and they are so realistic in appearance that, in the splendor of this flowing fountain, you seem to perceive, within a small space, an immense ocean and be looking upon a color akin to that of a placid sea. In addition, in each one of these seas is a ship spouting a thin veil of water, that looks like sails, from its masts and yards, while three Triton figures 19 pour forth water from a seashell horn. These ships were created with such artistry that you would say they were not sitting still but being carried about the entire sea, and that the Tritons were not sprinkling water from their horns but gently blowing sound. I will not even mention the obelisks, receptacles made out of tufa, and other ornamental elements, with which all of the railings are covered on all sides at the outermost edge of each pool, because the other details, astonishing by far, do not allow the eye to rest on the small and ordinary ones. 18 This is the opening of one of two ekphrases describing in great detail elaborately wrought fountains on the dynasts’ estates. Gian Lorenzo Bernini (1598-1680) was active in Rome during this period transforming the cityscape with his famous fountains, which certainly would have made an impression on a citizen of Rome like Rossi. These descriptions could also be a nod to Giambattista Marino’s Adone, which contains detailed descriptions of fountains (Giachino 2002: 188; see also Mirollo 1963: 275-6). 19 Rossi perhaps had in mind two of Bernini’s fountains in particular, Neptune and Triton (1622-23) and the Fontana del Tritone (1624-43), which illustrated the verses of Ov. Met. I.313 celebrating Triton’s triumph over the waters. 13 <?page no="93"?> 94 Eudemia in Ten Books Etenim in summa eius soli planitie binae aedes excitantur forma, magnitudine, cultu geminae atque simillimae. Non alias magis regalis opulentiae cultus exornat; depictae porticus clarissima toto orbe terrarum maria et villas exponunt. Impositae aedibus praestegae 29 circumiectos late campos et colles ostendunt. Hic laquearia; hic camerae exstantibus ac prominentibus figuris interlitis auro conspicuae; hic picturae summorum artificum manu elaboratae; hic lecti pulcherrime strati; hic conopea; hic stragula vestis 30 ; hic denique quidquid regum usitatas delicias fastidientium in aulis luxuries invenit. Media inter ambas aedes tellus molliter in theatri formam attollitur, opinor, ut inde excitata tanti operis admiratione Natura tanquam artis ludos aspiciat. Per id theatrum duplici scalarum ordine multisque praeterea aliis transversis, sed in unum exitum coeuntibus viis, in aream lapideis in aditu cancellis instructam adscenditur. Hic oculi, qui rebus a se antea visis nihil fieri posse perfectius existimaverant, nova atque improvisa re percussi, iudicium suum contemnere incipiunt. Positae in medio platani, non magis ad umbram hospitalem consociandam quam ad conciliandam sua sibi proceritate ingentem admirationem, ramos extendunt. Hinc et illinc ambulacra suis extenta porticibus, 31 ex duplici columnarum serie non ita latum, sed gratum villarum amoenitatem persequentibus, diversorium praebent. Sed magno vescendi studio incensis nobis ingens pulsantis strepitus ab ostio veniens excipitur. Missus a Gallonio, qui inspiceret quisnam homo ita fores illas impeteret, refert venisse a Dynasta Bibulo nuntium qui eum opere maximo evocaret. Intromissus in haec verba loquitur, “Summus Bacchi praeses ac Dynasta Bibulus, herus meus, iubet nisi suam gratiam negligis, iam ut ad sese venias; cupere enim ait coram tecum de rebus gravissimis agere.” Tum Gallonius, sane commotus et maiorem aliquam esse causam eius festinationis suspicatus, “Nuntia,” inquit, “domino tuo iam ibi me adfuturum.” Et in nos intuens, “Nihil,” ait, “a me faciendum est prius quam ut huius imperiis obediam. Hic est enim magnus ille Bibulus, qui, amplissimo munere praeditus, magnam apud omnes retinet auctoritatem. Vos me audacter sequimini. Licebit enim, hac praesertim occasione oblata, urbis formosissimae speciem atque horum hominum vultus ac mores agnoscere. Sed ne peregrinus habitus omnium in se oculos attrahat, neque cogat quoscunque adire, appellare quid velitis, quid veneritis, qui sitis, 29 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 5) gives an example of the word προστέγιον in Plut. Caes. 17. 30 Hor. Sat. II.III.118: “cui stragula vestis / blattarum ac tinearum epulae.” 31 Plaut. Mostell. III.ii.755-6: “sed senex / gynaeceum aedificare volt hic in suis / et balineas et ambulacrum et porticum.” 14 15 <?page no="94"?> Book One 95 Twin houses, almost identical in shape, size, and decor, rise up at the far end of the grounds. Nowhere else are there dwellings adorned with a more splendid regal opulence. Painted colonnades depict the most famous seas and villas from all over the world. Covered porches attached to the houses look out everywhere over the surrounding fields and hills. Paneled ceilings here; there rooms that catch your eye with striking statues that stand out with their gold inlay; here paintings created by the hands of the most skilled artists; there beautifully upholstered couches; canopies here; fine fabrics there; here, finally, is every luxury and extravagance customarily found in the great halls of discerning kings. The ground between the two houses rises up gently into the form of a theater so that, I think, Nature, excited by her admiration of such a work of art, can look upon it as if viewing an artistic spectacle. You climb up through the theater by way of a double stairway—with many other stairways besides flanking them but with all of the routes converging at a single point of egress—to a courtyard whose entrance is decorated with stone balustrades. At this point your eyes, struck by this new and unexpected sight, and thinking that nothing more perfect existed than what they had just seen, begin to distrust their own judgment. Plane trees planted in the middle extend their branches both to attract great admiration for their height, and, no less importantly, to provide welcoming shade. Here and there tree-lined walkways extended out into a colonnade, created by a double row of columns that was not wide but agreeable, offering accommodation to those seeking the pleasantness of a country estate. While we were inflamed by great eagerness to take all this in, we heard the mighty sound of somebody knocking at the door. The person Gallonius sent to see who on earth was pounding at the door said that a messenger had arrived from Dynast Bibulus to summon Gallonius with great urgency. When the messenger was admitted he said, “Dynast Bibulus, the most eminent guardian of Bacchus, and my master, commands you not to take his favor for granted, and to come to him at once. He says he desires to conduct some serious business with you in person.” To which Gallonius, clearly shaken and reckoning that there was some greater motivation behind the messenger’s haste, said, “Tell your master that I am already on my way.” Looking at us he said, “I must not place anything above obeying his commands. He is the great Bibulus who, because of his high station, commands the highest authority among us all. Take heart and follow me, especially since the opportunity has presented itself for you to become acquainted with the splendor of this most beautiful city and the features and customs of its people. In order to prevent your foreign attire from attracting attention, however, or prompting everyone to come up to us and ask what the two of you want, why you have come here, who you are, where you are from, or who your people are, take off the clothes you are wearing and put on the 14 15 <?page no="95"?> 96 Eudemia in Ten Books cuiatis, unde sitis, vestes quas habetis deponite et induite alias, quas vobis praebebo, huius regionis proprias.” Cui ego, “Amice,” inquam, “suades; age ut lubet. 32 Duc quo vis; haud sane usquam a pedibus abscedemus tuis.” 33 Mutata igitur veste, horam circiter diei undecimam urbem magnificentissimam intramus. Forum amplissimum et elegantissimum, basilicis, templis, porticibus septum, adimus. In cuius summo clepsydra aspiciebatur, cum hoc epigrammate: Ut petit ima gravis clepsydra conditus humor, sic cadit aethereo missus ab axe dies. Heu properata nimis maturae fata senectae, si fugiunt anni more cadentis aquae. Si vix orta aetas est, cum sua funera sentit, 5 quod datur exiguum tempus, abibit iners? 34 Sola manet virtus, rapidis immobilis annis; caetera nativo pondere pressa ruunt. Et quia anni fervidissimum tempus erat, credo aucupandi frigoris causa, multi viri nobiles, multique etiam qui vespere vivunt suo, 35 celeberrimas urbis vias, largifluos fontes, latissimas plateas equis raedisque vecti reptabant. Sed oculos in primis nostros quorundam ad se splendor attraxit, qui raedis multo fulgentibus auro ostroque delati, quacunque pergerent, turbare ac permiscere omnia videbantur. Nam eorum circumpedes turbam submovere; equos, asinos, carros obviam venientes expellere; praeterea cunctos tanquam diis de caelo delapsis illis assurgere, decedere, capita aperire, in genua procumbere, equos ac raedas sistere. Quod cum nos Gallonius eo splendore quasi perstrictos mirari adspiceret, “Nolite mirari,” inquit, “hi sunt dynastae illi, quos dixi. Videtisne ut iis honor habeatur, tanquam praesentibus diis? ” - “Vah! ” inquam. “Qui cultus! Quae luxuries! At Romae nemo senator, nemo consul, ac ne Tiberius quidem, rerum dominus, huius opulentiae luxu decoratur. Nam ille in omni cultu vix civilem modum excedit.” 32 Ter. An. II.i.310: “age age, ut lubet.” 33 Plaut. Mostell. III.ii.858: “Equidem haud usquam a pedibus apscedam tuis.” 34 Ov. Ars am. III.59-60: “Venturae memores iam nunc estote senectae / Sic nullum vobis tempus abibit iners.” 35 Plaut. Mil. IV.ii.995: “qui aucupet me quid agam, qui de vesperi vivat suo.” 16 17 18 <?page no="96"?> Book One 97 ones I give you, which are characteristic of this region.” - “My friend, you have convinced us,” I said. “As you wish. Lead us wherever you want, and we shall not diverge in any direction from your footsteps.” We changed our clothes and, around eleven o’clock, we entered that most splendid of cities. We arrived at a vast and elegant forum surrounded by basilicas, temples, and colonnades. At the highest point in the forum we saw a water clock with this inscription: When the heavy water inside the clepsydra sinks down, so too does the day come to an end, cast down from the vault of heaven. Alas, if our years pass by like that falling water, the fate of our ripe old age arrives all too quickly. If life perceives its demise when it has only just begun, will the brief time that is granted us be wasted and slip away? Virtue is the only thing that remains unchanging in the face of quickly passing years; everything else rushes past under the pressure of its own weight. Because it was the hottest time of year, many noblemen—even many who do not need to sing for their supper—were being carried about on horses and in carriages and were moving slowly about the crowded streets of the city, the abundantly flowing fountains, and the broad squares, in order, I reckon, to find some cool relief. But it was the splendor of certain individuals that particularly caught our eye. They were being ferried about in carriages that were resplendent with copious gold and purple, and they seemed to confound and throw everything into disorder wherever they went. 20 Their servants moved the crowds aside, driving away any horses, mules, or carts that were in their way. What is more, everyone stood out of respect before them as if they were gods descended from the heavens, moved out of their way, doffed their hats, dropped down on their knees, and brought their horses and carriages to a halt. When Gallonius saw us admiring this sight, as if gripped by such splendor, he said, “Don’t be astonished; those are the dynasts I was telling you about. Do you see the honor that is bestowed on them as if they were gods on earth? ” - “Goodness,” I exclaimed. “What elegance! What luxury! In Rome no senator or consul is adorned with 20 Since the late sixteenth century, carriages had become an integral part of the elite lifestyle of wealthy Romans and were seen as “a major conveyor of honor, prestige, magnificence, and a host of other noble traits”; status was further communicated by the decoration of the carriages “gilded with silver and gold, covered in silk and velvet, and his horses dressed in ribbons” (Hunt 2010: 698-9). 16 17 18 <?page no="97"?> 98 Eudemia in Ten Books Hoc interim spatio ad aedes magni illius viri venimus, vestibulum et ambulacrum ante aedes luculentum aspicimus, intramus latius ac primo pedem intro in peristylium ferimus. In cuius summo fons erat, eo dynasta dignus: Bacchi simulacrum, factum e marmore, cado insidens, meiere videbatur in lacum sibi subiectum; eratque magna in basi grandibus litteris incisum hoc epigramma: Impositum lacui magno qui cernis Iacchum meiere, sed liquido rore replere lacum, digna velit Baccho largiri munera posce, pro gelidaque unda fervida musta 36 dare. Tum pateat vesica illi, nec calculus obsit, 5 semper ut expulsa vina bibantur aqua. Gallonius rogat unum ex familiaribus ut domino renuntiet se eius vocatu accitum adesse; proinde imperet si quid velit. Respondet ille omnes tunc ad eum aditus interclusos esse, nam psittacis, lusciniis, felibus, simiis, canibus, quos semper circa se habet quosque plus oculis suis diligit, 37 cenam dabat ac suis ipse manibus cibum praebebat. Cui Gallonius, “Fac,” inquit, “sciat me adesse; cetera nihil moror.” Interea dum ille it reditque, complura parietibus epitaphia hinc et illinc affixa conspicio. Rogo quid sibi velint. Respondet mihi unus, “Haec sunt epitaphia felium et canum defunctorum quos dominus in deliciis habuit quosque ipse multis cum lacrimis supremo mandavit officio. At ego in pugillaribus, quos semper mecum fero, coepi ea describere: Epitaphium felis nomine Nicolosae Si quaeris, Nicolosa fui, non improba felis, cui tulit immeritam sumpta lacerta necem. Molliter erubui moriens incumbere lecto, languida vel duro fundere membra solo. Pugnavique diu, morti non cedere nixa, 5 36 Ov. Tr. III.X.72: “fervida musta lacus.” 37 Catull. III.5: “Passer, deliciae meae puellae / quem plus illa oculis suis amabat.” 19 20 21 22 <?page no="98"?> Book One 99 the trappings of such wealth, not even Tiberius himself, lord of all. In his whole manner of living he barely exceeds the proper measure of a citizen.” In the meantime we arrived at that important man’s house, in front of which we saw a courtyard and a splendid walkway. Entering rather confidently we stepped first into the peristyle, at the far side of which was a fountain worthy of the dynast. A statue of Bacchus made of marble and sitting on a wine jug appeared to be urinating into a pool below, and on its broad base was carved this inscription in large letters: You who see this statue of Bacchus placed here, urinating into this big pool but filling it with clear water, ask that he bestow gifts worthy of Bacchus and that he offer foaming young wine in place of this cold water. Then let his bladder be wide open, and let no kidney stone obstruct it, so that, once the water has been expelled, wine will always be consumed. Gallonius asked one of the servants to relay to his master that he had responded to his summons and had arrived, and then to ask him if he wanted anything. The servant replied that every approach to his master was currently blocked because he was giving dinner (that he was hand-feeding them himself) to his parrots, nightingales, cats, monkeys, and dogs, which he loved more than his own eyes. Gallonius said to him, “Tell him I’m here; otherwise I won’t stay.” In the meantime, while the servant left and came back, I caught sight of many epitaphs affixed here and there on the walls. I asked what their significance was. Someone responded, “These are epitaphs written in honor of the deceased cats and dogs that the master loved, and for whom he celebrated last rites while shedding many tears.” 21 I began transcribing them in the notebook that I always carried with me: Epitaph of Nicolosa the Cat If you are asking, I was Nicolosa, a good cat to whom a lizard I consumed brought an undeserving death. Dying, I was ashamed to go softly while lying on a bed or pouring out my weak limbs onto the hard ground. I fought for a long time, not ceding to death without a struggle, but in vain. Alas, in the end, perfidious death was stronger than I. Thus it is granted to me to live forever always wandering about the house and the 21 Girolamo Aleandro, the younger (dedicatee of Eudemia) published a volume of poems upon the death of his dog titled In obitum Aldinae catellae lacrimae poeticae (Parisiis: Apud Nicolaum Buon, 1622). 19 20 21 22 <?page no="99"?> 100 Eudemia in Ten Books sed frustra; heu tandem perfida plus potuit. Sic mihi perque domos perque ardua tecta vagari semper et aeternum vivere posse datur. At vos depictas squallentia terga lacertas, lurida in apricis insequar umbra locis. 10 Epitaphium Ruspoli catelli Ergo tibi invisae ruperunt stamina Parcae, Ruspole, amor domini deliciaeque tui. Non ita sidereos violavit Lesbia ocellos, passeris extincti tristia fata gemens, ut potuit lacrimis temerare cadentibus ora, 5 cum daret ille tuas munera ad inferias. Sed valeant luctus. Nam te non caeca tulerunt Tartara, sed caeli lucida signa tenent, ut, canis arenti depulso sidere, posthac mitius aestates sub tua iura fluant. 10 Coeperam aliud alterius felis epitaphium describere, cum Gallonius accersitur. Accurrimus, scalas ascendimus, introducimur in eam diaetam, ubi vir ille princeps epulabatur, in lecto eburneos pedes habente ac purpura auroque constrato, obsessus undique felium et catellorum turba, quorum alius insistebat illi in humero, alius in collo, alius cibum petebat, alius uncipedibus 38 bolum e manibus eripiebat, 39 alius latrabat, alius placide accubans domini misericordias exspectabat. At ille, ubi nos venisse animadvertit, Gallonium intuens, “Scin,” inquit, “quamobrem huc te accersiri iussi? ” - “Non equidem,” inquit ille, “sed imperiis tuis obsequens huc me conieci et exspecto quid velis.” - “Ego dicam tibi,” inquit ille. “Vidi hodie, dum otiosus per urbem vector, in fenestra privatae domus ad Vestae ludere cercopithecos duos, quibus nihil dixerim me vidisse in vita venustius. Fac mihi eos dono precario vel, si fieri aliter non potest, precio abducas. Neque operi neque sumptui parcas. Nam ardeo cupiditate incredibili eos habendi.” - “Scio quos dicas,” inquit Gallonius. “Mox imperium tuum exequar et, quamquam eorum dominus ita sit versutus et callidus, ut dolis capi 38 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 7) refers to the word uncipedem in Tert. De pall. V.2. 39 Ter. Haut. IV.ii.673: “crucior bolum tantum mi ereptum tam desubito e faucibus.” 23 24 <?page no="100"?> Book One 101 high rooftops. You colorful lizards with your scaly backs, I will hunt you down in the sunny spots, though I am a pale ghost. Epitaph of Ruspolus the Puppy Thus the invisible fates cut short the threads of your life, Ruspolus, love and delight of your master. Lesbia did not mar her bright eyes as she mourned the sad fate of her departed sparrow 22 as much as your master did when he sullied his face with flowing tears as he performed your last rites. But away with this grief, for the dark underworld has not led you away, but the bright stars in the sky hold you, so that, hereafter, with the constellation of the dry dog star banished, summers will be milder under your command. I had begun copying down another epitaph to another cat when Gallonius was summoned. We came running, went up the stairs, and were led into the hall where that nobleman was banqueting. Lying on a bed with ivory legs and covered with purple and gold, the dynast was hemmed in on all sides by a throng of cats and dogs. One of them was sitting on his shoulder, another at his neck, another was searching for food, another had its paws bent around a choice morsel that it was snatching out of his hands, another was barking, and another was lying peacefully by its master hoping for some charity. When he noticed us approaching, he looked at Gallonius and said, “Do you know why I ordered you to be brought here? ” - “Indeed, I do not,” replied Gallonius. “But I hurried back here in compliance with your orders, and I now await your wish.” - “I will tell you what I want,” he said. “Today, while I was at leisure and being driven around the city, I caught sight of two monkeys playing in the window of a private house near the shrine of Vesta, and I remarked to myself that I had never seen more charming specimens in my life. See to it that you bring them to me 22 A reference to Lesbia’s dead sparrow in Catull. II and III. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 6. 23 24 <?page no="101"?> 102 Eudemia in Ten Books difficulter possit, tamen, quo tibi animum expleam, fingam, inveniam, comminiscar rationem qua os illi pulchre sit sublitum.” - “Magnifice,” inquit Bibulus, “polliceris. At pol benefacta me hortantur tua, ut remunerer te grato aliquo munere; sed multa non possum et pauca pudet dare.” - “Credo,” ait Gallonius, “ita vestra est benignitas.” - “Abi igitur,” inquit ille, “ac rem strenuus age.” 40 - “Estne aliquid aliud,” replicavit Gallonius, “quod tibi mea ars efficere hoc possit amplius? ” - “Recte,” ait. Itaque discedimus; ad ostium devenimus atque ibi hominem squalidum, aegrum, inter manus delatum in gestatoria sella collocari videmus; quem ubi Gallonius aspexit, continuo, “Quid istuc,” inquit, “rei est? O mi Agrostes (id illi erat nomen), unde hic pallor in vultu? Unde haec in membris infirmitas? ” - “Quoniam miser febri quotidiana laboro et male metuo, nisi quis me deus respiciat, ut ex hoc morbo convalescam, vel saltem ne multos menses eodem implicatus detinear.” - “Aesculapium et Salutem,” inquit Gallonius, “ne quid sit huius oro. 41 Bono animo es, mox febris abscedet: ita supercilium salit. 42 Sed unde tantus hic repente morbus invasit? Et quo nunc aeger defereris? Nonne quae tibi sunt opus defert hic princeps, qui tanta caritate feras etiam bestias amplectitur? ” Respondit ille, “Causam morbi sustinet perpetuus scribendi, vigilandi et hac illac concursandi labor, dum huic inservio. At nunc, quia per aegritudinem nulli eidem esse usui possum, in nosocomium proximo Aesculapii fano coniunctum deferor. Hem, quo redactus sum miser? ” Dum sic queritur, ecce tibi in tempore advenit adolescens, Fossio nomine, collecto pallio, sudans, anhelus et “Facinus indignum! ” exclamat. “Itane vir longe doctissimus, scriptor egregius, poëta summus, optimis atque sanctissimis moribus praeditus, in nosocomio publico tanquam unus aliquis ex popello morietur? Istud igitur immortalitate dignum ingenium, ista virtus, ista probitas iis auxiliis indigebit, quibus inquinatissimi perditissimique homines saepe abundant? Ergo te viri illi principes, quos longa consuetudine usuque devinctos habes, ita foede ac turpiter deferunt? Sed ut illi tantum in se dedecus attrahant, ego tamen meum 40 Hor. Epist. I.VII.71: “nunc i, rem strenuus auge.” 41 Ter. Hec. III.ii.338: “Quod te, Aesculapi, et te, Salus, ne quid sit huius oro.” 42 Plaut. Pseud. I.i.107: “ita supercilium salit.” 25 26 <?page no="102"?> Book One 103 as a gift, either by entreaty or, if it is not otherwise possible, for a price. Do not spare any effort or expense for I am burning with an incredible desire to possess them.” - “I know which ones you mean,” said Gallonius. “I will carry out your order forthwith. Even though their owner might be so cunning and clever as not to easily be taken in by tricks, in order to satisfy your wish I will contrive, I will find a way, I will fabricate a ruse by which he will be nicely taken in.” - “You have made me a wonderful promise,” said Bibulus. “Your good deeds exhort me, by God, to repay you with some sort of agreeable gift, but I cannot afford much and I am ashamed of giving you too little.” Gallonius replied, “I see. That is in keeping with your benevolence.” - “Off you go,” Bibulus said, “and give it your all.” Gallonius responded, “Is there anything else my cunning can accomplish for you in addition to this? ” - “Not at this time,” replied Bibulus. And so we set off, we arrived at the front door, and there we saw a squalid, sick man being carried in someone’s arms and placed in a sedan chair. As soon as Gallonius saw him he said, “What’s all this, my Agrostes? ” (that was the man’s name). “Why are you so pale? Why this weakness in your limbs? ” - “Because (poor me! ) I am suffering from quotidian fever, 23 and I fear the worst unless God sees to it that I recover from this illness, or that it at least doesn’t put me out of commission for many months.” Gallonius replied, “I pray to Aesculapius and Salus that it not be so. Cheer up, your fever will soon pass, my eyebrow is twitching to that effect. 24 But where did you contract such a grave illness all of a sudden? And where are you off to so sick? Does this nobleman, who embraces even wild animals with such generosity, not see to your needs? ” Agrostes responded, “The unrelenting labor of writing, staying up all night, and running back and forth in service of this man is the cause of my illness. But now, because I can be of no use to him on account of my illness, I am being taken to the hospital that is attached to the nearby Temple of Aesculapius. Alas (poor me! ) what have I been reduced to? ” While he was busy moaning, a young man named Fossius 25 arrived just in the nick of time. Holding his cloak while sweating and gasping for breath he 23 = malaria 24 This phrase from Plaut. Pseud. I.I.107 is from Plautus and Riley (1909-10). 25 Vincenzo Gramigna (Agrostes) apparently did pass away at the home of Marc’Antonio Foppa (Fossius), thus being spared the indignity of dying in a hospital. This is memorialized in a 1627 letter from Rossi to Foppa (Ep. ad div. 1.III.VIII): “Etenim, nisi humanitas ac liberalitas tua praesto fuisset, vir doctissimus ac sapientissimus … vel in aliquo nosocomio, vel in publico vel prope dixerim sub dio animam exhalasset” (“If it had not been for your humanity and generosity, that most learned and wise man … would have breathed his last in some hospital, in public, or, I dare say, outside”). He even includes the detail of Foppa bringing Gramigna into his home, his room, and even into his own bed: “tecto recipere, in tuo cubiculo atque adeo in tuo lectulo collocare.” 25 26 <?page no="103"?> 104 Eudemia in Ten Books erga virum optimum studium, operam, officium desiderari non patiar. Ite, agite, deferte eum in domum meam. Ego tecto recipiam, ego in meo cubiculo atque adeo in meo lectulo collocabo; ego exquisitos tota urbe medicos cogam, neque quidquam patiar illi deesse quod ad levandam aegritudinem prosit.” His actis, pedes prosecutus est eum, gestatores identidem admonens ut pedetentim irent ac sedato nisu, ne succussu morbus eidem efficeretur amplior. 43 Nos vero, quia id diei tempus erat, ad aedes Gallonii cum ipso contendimus. Nam paulo ante, ut ad se in hospitium diverteremus, impetraverat. Iamque aberamus ab his propius, cum ab Hermagora quodam, nuper inter dynastas adlecto, litterae eidem redduntur in haec verba: Hermagoras Gallonio salutem. Amplissimus dignitatis gradus, quem nuper ascendi, postulat ut domum et familiam ita uxori meae mihique amplam et ornatam instituam, uti me dignum est et persona quam gero. Verum quia absum ab Urbe, cogor hanc illi provinciam demandare, cui maximam rerum mearum fidem habeam, cuique meam in primis existimationem caram fore arbitrer. 44 Quamobrem peto a te, pro nostra amicitia, ut negotium suscipias atque aedes mihi laxas magnificasque conducas; ac praesertim eum familiarium numerum cogas, qui meae dignitati conveniat. Quod autem ad genus hominum attinet, ut meam sententiam noris: cupio homines formosos, elegantes ac bene vestitos. Neque refert si sint impuri et inhonesti, dummodo sint apti. Atque etiam ea te cura libero, ut ex doctis ac litteratis viris unum aut alterum seligas, qui sit mihi ab epistolis et a cognitionibus. Nam quidquid huic generi hominum datur, disperit totum. Hodie enim quivis vel amanuensis vel leguleius recte satisfacere his muneribus potest. Illud in primis memineris: ut cocum mihi solum praeter alios quaeras, quique mortuis etiam coquere quod placeat possit. Atque in eo omnes industriae diligentiaeque tuae nervos contendas, 45 velim. Da operam ut valeas. 43 Cic. Tusc. II.XXI.48: “Pedetemptim, inquit, et sedato nisu, / Ne succussu adripiat maior / Dolor.” 44 Cic. Verr. II.II.XI.29: “ab eo cui meam existimationem caram fore arbitror.” 45 Cic. Fam. 106 (XV.14): “ut omnes tuos nervos in eo contendas.” 27 28 <?page no="104"?> Book One 105 exclaimed, “What a shameful misdeed! Will this most learned man, this distinguished writer, this greatest poet endowed with the best and most upright character, die in a public hospital like any old commoner? Will this talent worthy of immortality, this paragon of virtue and honesty itself, be without the sort of help that even the filthiest, most degenerate men frequently possess in spades? Do those noblemen, who are obliged to you out of long familiarity and association, treat you so disgracefully and so shamefully? While they may bring such great shame upon themselves, I cannot bear that this great man not enjoy my highest devotion, service, or duty toward him. Go, get a move on and carry him to my house. I will receive him under my roof, I will settle him in my room, and even in my own bed. I will round up the most sought-after doctors in the entire city, and I will not tolerate him being without anything that might be beneficial for alleviating his illness.” When Fossius had finished arranging this, he followed on foot, repeatedly cautioning the men carrying the sedan chair to step carefully and at an easy pace, so Agrostes’s illness wouldn’t be aggravated by a sudden jolt. We, on the other hand, because it was that time of day, hurried home with Gallonius, since he had shortly before obtained permission for us to lodge there. We had almost reached his house when a letter was delivered from a certain Hermagoras, recently elected into the dynast class, that read as follows: From Hermagoras to Gallonius, greetings. The highest level of dignity, to which I have recently ascended, demands that I prepare my house and my household in such a distinguished and richly adorned manner, for my wife and myself, that it is worthy of me and the position I now hold. Because I am away from the city, however, I am compelled to commit this responsibility to the person in whom I have the utmost trust of my affairs and to whom I believe my own reputation is dear. For this reason I am asking you, on behalf of our friendship, to take up this business and to find a spacious and grand house for me to rent, and especially to assemble a staff of servants that is in keeping with my station. However, as regards to the sort of people, just so you know my opinion: I desire good-looking ones who are elegant and well dressed. And it does not matter if they are immoral or dishonest, so long as they are suitable. And I am even absolving you from worrying about selecting one or two of them from among educated or learned men, who can draft my official letters or legal decisions. Whatever is paid to those sorts of men is money wasted. Nowadays any old clerk or two-bit lawyer can handle these tasks satisfactorily. Keep this in mind especially: only my chef should stand out among the other staff, someone who can cook to please even the dead. And I would like you to strive in this matter with every force of your diligence and industry. See to it that you are well. 27 28 <?page no="105"?> 106 Eudemia in Ten Books His litteris perlectis Gallonius me intuens, “Qualis tibi,” inquit, “videtur haec indoles? ” - “Egregia sane,” inquio, 46 “atque praeclara; neque boni quidquam est quod ab ea sperari non possit.” Sed dum magni illius viri sapientiam admiramur, qui in uno coco eodemque optimo tantum ponat esse ornamenti universae familiae, 47 incautum me neque animadvertentem paene raeda oppressit. Sed nescio quis brachio prehensum in alteram partem abstraxit periculoque surripuit. Sed ubi me ex timore collegi, quaero quisnam esset ille tam potens, qui raeda obvios obtereret. Tum Gallonius arridens, “Erras,” inquit. “Non marem, sed feminam ea raeda circumvehit. Haec est Pasicompsa, dynastae uxor, nobilis mulier ac nota; genere atque forma, praeterea libidine atque luxuria, similis Salustianae Semproniae. Nam a teneris (ut aiunt) unguiculis lascivos amores ac vetitos honestis permissisque praeposuit; itaque eximium semper aliquem habuit, cui clam virum se tota permitteret. Nunc autem, viro orbata, genio multo magis indulget. 48 Nam quantum illi aetas detrahit formae, tantundem libidinis addit. Et quia ob formam immutatam non facile in amorem invenit qui cum ipsa faciant mutuum, suis copiis, quae sunt amplae, aliquot filiosfamilias patri parco ac tenaci devinctos habet. 49 Atque in praesentia nescio cuius adolescentis inopiam sustentat, cuius medium ad Ianum omnis fracta res est. 50 Est tamen non nemo qui calcitret, respuat neque putet eius dona esse tanti 51 ; ut de quodam adolescente narratur, cui non cessat missitare litteras misere scriptas, quibus ita demum ille rescripsit (nam apud me habeo earum litterarum exemplum): Cleobulus Pasicompsae, plorare et male rem gerere. 52 Improba, maturo cum sis iam proxima fato, flebilibusque rogis, quid totis rabido correpta furore medullis 46 = inquam (very rare form) 47 Cic. De or. II.XX.85: “tantum ego in excellenti oratore et eodem bono viro pono esse ornamenti universae civitati.” 48 Cf. Pers. 5.151: “indulge genio.” 49 Cic. Cael. XV.36: “vis nobilis mulier illum filium familias patre parco ac tenaci habere tuis copiis devinctum.” 50 Hor. Sat. II.III.18-20: “postquam omnis res mea Ianum / ad medium fracta est, aliena negotia curo / excussus propriis.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 11. 51 Cic. Cael. XV.36: “calcitrat, respuit, non putat tua dona esse tanti.” 52 Cf. Hor. Epist. I.VIII.1: “Celso gaudere et bene rem gerere Albinovano.” 29 30 <?page no="106"?> Book One 107 After reading this letter Gallonius looked at me and said, “How does his character seem to you? ” - “Outstanding indeed, and noble,” I responded. “And nothing but good can be hoped from it.” While we were admiring the wisdom of that great man, who considers the prestige of an entire household to be located solely in having a superior chef, a carriage almost ran me over while I had my guard down and was distracted. But someone grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of the way removing me from danger. Once I had recovered from fright, I asked what man was so powerful that he could destroy everyone in his path with his carriage. Smiling, Gallonius replied, “You are mistaken. It is a woman, not a man, who rides around in that carriage. That is Pasicompsa, 26 a dynast’s wife. She is a noblewoman famous for her style and beauty and for her sexual desire and extravagance besides, much like Sallust’s Sempronia. 27 From the cradle (as they say) she placed lewd and forbidden love over that which was respectable and sanctioned, so that she always had someone distinguished to whom she could give herself in secret, unbeknownst to her husband. Now, however, having been widowed from her husband, she indulges herself much more. As much as age has subtracted from her beauty, to that same degree it has added to her libido. Since on account of her looks (which are not getting any better) she does not easily lure men into love who have mutual feelings for her, she holds a few sons of frugal and stingy fathers in her sway with her riches, which are ample. Even now she is staving off the destitution of some youth who lost his shirt at Janus’s Exchange. There are a few men, however, who resist and reject her, considering her gifts not to be worth all that much. As the story goes about one young man, whom she could not stop sending poorly written letters to, he finally responded thus (I happen to have a copy of those letters on me): Cleobulus to Pasicompsa, I bid you tears and bad wishes. Wicked woman, why are you after me, violent and seized by frenzied passion to your very core, even though, any minute now, you are already so close to death, so close to your doleful funeral pyre? Like a savage heifer in a grassy field driven mad by desire, you hasten in vain to bend a bull to your will, whether he is open to your entreaties or unmoved by your demands. A lover’s arrogance and charms are unbecoming to someone who is repulsive due to old age; an old woman is busy with the spindle, the duties of feminine yarn, and the well-worn kitchen. There, among the cats and dogs, she cleverly tells stories. Since you are worn out from frequent childbirth, leave the sweet citharas, dances, and tuneful lyres to tender girls and boys, and keep wickedness for yourself. 26 Pasicompsa is the name of a prostitute in Plaut. Merc. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 9. 27 Sallust’s description of Sempronia appears at Cat. 25. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 10. 29 30 <?page no="107"?> 108 Eudemia in Ten Books me violenta petis? Qualis in herbosis furiata libidine campis 5 torva iuvenca bovem, incassum precibus facilem vel flectere durum imperiis properas. Nam longo turpem saeclo non fastus amantum blanditiaeque decent. 10 Usque colum, et lanae imbellis nigraeque culinae 53 munera versat anus. Illic fabellas inter felemque canemque ingeniosa refert. Nixibus at crebris effeta, remitte puellis 15 mollibus et pueris et citharas dulces, choreasque fidesque canoras. Tu tibi sume malum. Perlectis his litteris, usque adeo elata est ira, ut sine ulla dubitatione insanire omnibus ac furere videretur, minitari absenti Cleobulo, vociferari, lacrimas non tenere. Sed ille nihilo magis eius lacrimis vel minis movetur quam si sit codex aut silex.” His dictis Gallonii aedes ingredimur, ibique omnibus in rebus liberaliter accepti divertimus, iucundi sermonis ansam Pasicompsae ira luxuriaque praebente. Nam Paulus Aemilius, “Exprobratio,” inquit, “senectutis mulieri bilem in nasum impellit. 54 Muliere impura nihil contumacius. Quae semel pudicitiam et pudorem ab se dimisit, nunquam, pol, ne quadrigis quidem albis adipiscitur postea. 55 Quo Ceres et Bacchus immigrarunt, inde pudicitia dimissis manibus evolat. 56 Mulier libidine incensa mare est quod nullis neque fluminibus neque rivis expletur. Aestus luxuriae, ut ignis, non suppeditandis sed subtrahendis libidinis alimentis extinguitur. Mulierum insatiabilitas potest quidem admissarios 53 Mart. I.92.9: “pasceris et nigrae solo nidore culinae.” 54 Plaut. Amphitruonis Supposita l.41: “fames et mora bilem in nasum conciunt.” 55 Plaut. As. II.ii.279: “Nam si huic sese occasioni tempus supterduxerit, numquam edepol quadrigis albis indipiscet postea.” 56 Cf. Plaut. Epid. III.iv.452: “fugias manibus dimissis domum”; Plaut. Pseud. III.ii.841-2: “Coc: … is odos dimissis manibus in caelum volat. Bal: odos dimissis manibus? ” 31 32 <?page no="108"?> Book One 109 When she had finished reading the letter, Pasicompsa’s anger reached such a pitch that, without a doubt, she appeared to everyone to be in a rage and to have lost her mind, to be threatening Cleobulus in absentia, yelling, and unable to contain her tears. But he was not moved by her tears or threats any more than if he were made of wood or stone.” When he had finished speaking, we entered Gallonius’s house, and we were welcomed graciously in all aspects, with Pasicompsa’s anger and extravagance providing an opportunity for delightful conversation. Paulus Aemilius said, “Contempt for old age fills a woman’s nose with bile. There is nothing more defiant than an immoral woman. Once she has surrendered her modesty and decency, by God, she will never get it back again, even with a team of four white horses. Wherever Ceres and Bacchus go, chastity flees as fast as it can. A woman who is inflamed with sexual desire is like an ocean that no rivers or streams can fill. The fever of luxury, like fire, is extinguished not by fueling desire but by taking it away. A woman’s insatiability is able to reduce her many young lovers to exhaustion, while imposing no limits upon herself. If her fierce desire rages on account of someone’s station or wealth, she will not be held back by any restraints of duty, laws, or her own reputation. She believes she is allowed to do anything and that nothing is off-limits. Speeches, chidings, and warnings may as well be stones to the shameless woman, which may knock out her brains but 31 32 <?page no="109"?> 110 Eudemia in Ten Books plures ad languorem dare, non tamen modum sibi statuere. Si genere ac divitiis ferox libido desaeviat, nullis neque iuris, neque legum, neque existimationis repagulis inhibeatur. Omnia sibi licere, nihil esse nefas existimat. Sermones, obiurgationes et monita sunt lapides impudicae quae illi cerebrum excutiant, non bonam mentem iniciant. Ut miser est homo qui libidini servit! Qui in catenis sunt, si possint, vincula rumpunt; qui amori obtemperant, graviores semper ipsi sibi compedes indunt. Pudicitia 57 cum deformitate corporis saepe convenit, cum forma foedus raro contingit. Quae pudicitiam adhuc intra honestatis septa concludit, caveat ne evolet. Nam captivae avis est similis, quae, patentem caveam nacta, effugit nec postea prehenditur. Unicum mulieris ornamentum est castitas; quae si amittitur, nihil in ea residet quod pretium aliquod habeat. Quisquis ex muliere, castitatis decore eversa, boni aliquid colligere studet, nudo vestimenta detrahere postulat.” Haec pleraque his similia locutus, Paulus Aemilius lecto sese commisit. Liber II Et longa maris tempestate iactatos et itinere superioris diei defatigatos, tam arctus somnus excepit, ut non antea dissolverit quam orta lux omnia compleret. Sed tandem expergefactos et cubile egressos Gallonius invitat in hortos cuiusdam dynastae, qui, ut ille narrabat, ex summis vitae ac fortunae sordibus ad ingentes divitias pervenisset. “Nam accepi,” inquit, “detineri ibi aegrum adolescentem mihi carissimum; cupioque, nisi aliter vobis videatur, eum invisere. Sed non pigebit vos illuc venisse. Nulli enim sunt horti in his regionibus quos magis visendos dicatis.” Cumque nos non nolle dixissemus, secum una perreximus. Atque inter eundum quaesivimus de Gallonio cur, si omnes Mauri atri essent, ibi fere omnes albi nascerentur. Qui respondit primum eam insulam longo intervallo a ceteris Mauris esse disiunctam; tum mulieres eas, postquam se cum Romanis miscuissent, patribus similes liberos genuisse. Inter haec atque alia duorum millium passuum viam emensi ad hortos pervenimus. Pulsamus ostium, aperitur, intramus, atque ubi ea pulchritudo recens ad oculos meos pervenit, 58 non horti nescio qui, sed caelum ipsum atque adeo ipsa Iovis regia mihi patefieri visa est. Nam foribus apertis operis universi for- 57 pudicitiae 1637, 1645 58 Cic. Verr. II.IV.XXVIII.64: “et clarius cum pulchritudo eius recens ad oculos hominum perveniret.” 1 2 <?page no="110"?> Book Two 111 will never instill any good sense. Any man who is a slave to sexual desire is to be pitied! Men in actual chains break free of their bonds, if they can, but those who succumb to love place ever heavier shackles upon themselves. Chastity is often consistent with an unattractive body; a debauched person is rarely beautiful. The woman who confines her chastity within the walls of honor should take care that it does not fly away; for honor is like a captive bird that, when kept in an open cage, flies away never to be caught again. Chastity is a woman’s only mark of honor; if she loses it, there is nothing of any value left in her. Anyone who desires to obtain something positive from a woman who has lost her chastity, her chief ornament, is attempting to take the clothes off a naked man’s back.” After he had recounted many similar things, Paulus Aemilius went off to bed. Book Two Tossed about at sea by that endless storm and worn out from the previous day’s journey, we fell into such a deep sleep that we did not wake up until the sun had risen and filled everything with light. When we finally got up and left our room, Gallonius invited us into the gardens of a certain dynast who, as he told it, had risen from the deepest depths of squalor, both in life and fortune, into a state of immense wealth. “I heard tell,” said Gallonius, “that a sick young man, who is very dear to me, is being kept there; unless you think otherwise, I would like to go visit him. But you won’t mind going because there are no gardens in this region that you would consider more worth seeing.” We indicated our willingness to go and set off with him. While we were en route, we asked Gallonius why, if Mauritanians are black, almost everyone in Eudemia is born white. He responded that, first of all, the island had been cut off for a long time from the rest of Mauritania and, second, that the women, after intermingling with the Romans, had given birth to children who looked like their fathers. After covering a distance of two miles in conversation about this and other matters, we arrived at the gardens. We knocked at the gate, it opened, we entered. When I gazed upon its flourishing beauty, it seemed as if it was not just any ordinary garden that appeared before me, but heaven itself, and even the very palace of Jove. Once the gates opened, the entirety of all creation presented itself on display, all at once, before our eyes. The garden was so beautiful that it was not possible to imagine a more splendid sight. The first thing you see as you enter is a level and square expanse of land surrounded by many covered 1 2 <?page no="111"?> 112 Eudemia in Ten Books ma tota simul se obtulit et in conspectu proposuit. Quae forma tantam habet pulchritudinem, ut nulla species ne excogitari quidem possit ornatior. Etenim aequata agri planities, quae adeuntibus prima se obicit, ambulacris septa compluribus, praeclaris distincta fontibus, ac variis amoena floribus, praefert in summo theatrum, multis scalarum ordinibus nativo e marmore instructum atque compositum; et ex singulis scalis plures tum ebulientes, tum effluentes aquae, velut aspicientium turba ad fontem in media cavea positum spectare et placido murmure, tanquam faustis acclamationibus, operi plaudere videntur. Hinc et illinc a theatro lapideis scalis in novum artis miraculum scanditur. Aequa et quadrata planities complures dispositas in quincuncem arbores sustinet sepitque locum maceries regia lauro contecta. Platani incredibili proceritate principem in medio locum obtinent; infra earum fastigium humiliores multae ab utraque parte arbores subsunt, iis quidem proceritate dissimiles, sed dignitate ac praestantia simillimae, siquidem regiae lauri sunt omnes prope ad miraculum pulchrae. In medio, sub procerrimis illis platanis, mensa marmorea pedum fere sexaginta in longitudinem et quindecim in latitudinem patens extenditur; quam a summo ad extremum, relicto hinc et illinc commodo ad cenandum spatio, plures leniter erumpentes atque in se redeuntes aquae intersecant, gratum convivis liquorem et frigus praebentes. Nam voluptatem positus in conspectu fons affert, ipsi etiam arti admirabilis. Etenim Triton factus e lapide sedet eques in cancro admotoque ad os cornu inflare sonum videtur. Diceres eum audire (tantam artificii subtilitas fidem mendacio facit), nisi hunc ab auribus errorem quinque late manantes ex cornu rivi depellerent. Tum inter cancri brachia, suffectura flumini vel magno, aquae vis pellitur in concham refunditurque ab eadem per sulcos ipsi haerentes in lacum sibi subiectum, reicientem et ipsum per multo plures sulcos aquam in alterum infra se positum longe maiorem lacum; qui saturatus aquis, superioris exemplo, quod superest totum regerit ante pedes terra excipiendum. Postremo hinc et illinc ab hoc lacu duo fluminum simulacra permagna ad eum implendum tanquam auxiliares aquas ex urnis emittunt, nec sine praemio filicis, musci, capilli Veneris aliaeque herbescentis viriditatis, quam circa ea subiectus elicit humor. Iam vero locus egregius, et in primis amoenus, qui non praetereuntis velocitatem, sed contemplantis tarditatem et moram desiderat, poscere videbatur ut esset ubi moraturus hospes consistere ac deambulare tutus a solis iniuria posset. Itaque ab utroque fontis latere columnae excitatae complures porticus duas effingunt, quas, tecti loco, plures vitium propagines ita undique ambientibus ramis atque invicem complicatis integunt, ut vix in densam umbram penetrare solis radius possit. Nunquam oculi, hac specie et pulchritudine capti, satiarentur, nusquam aliquid melius ac perfectius quaererent, nisi duplex scalarum ordo post fontem, 3 <?page no="112"?> Book Two 113 walkways decorated by splendid fountains and adorned with flowers of various kinds. This space houses a theater at the far end with stairways constructed and composed of genuine marble. Many streams bubble up and flow from each of the stairways and, much like a crowd of theatergoers, they appear to look toward a fountain in the middle and to applaud a play with a soothing murmur simulating favorable acclamation. Stairways made of stone ascend here and there out of the theater toward an extraordinary artistic marvel. A level and square expanse supports many trees planted in a quincunx formation and is surrounded by an enclosure covered in royal laurel. 28 Impossibly tall plane trees have pride of place in the middle. Below their treetops stand many smaller trees on both sides, very different to the plane trees in height but much the same in dignity and excellence; all royal laurels are wonderfully beautiful, after all. In the middle under the very tallest plane trees stretches a marble table that extends almost sixty feet in length and fifteen feet in width. Many streams of water, flowing gently out and returning back in, divide the table lengthwise from top to bottom leaving enough space on either side for dining and offering the dinner guests welcome spring water and coolness. A fountain placed within view offers delight, astonishing in its very artistry: a Triton figure made out of marble is sitting on a crab, as if on horseback, and looking as though he is sounding a note with a horn that is turned toward his mouth. You would swear you could hear him—such is the artist’s precision that lends credence to the fiction—were it not for the fact that five streams, flowing amply from his horn, disabuse your ears of that illusion. Next, between the crab’s claws (which are capacious enough to hold a very large stream), a large quantity of water is forced into a shell and poured back out again, through conduits that are carved into it, into a pool below. This pool, in turn, drives the water through many more channels into another much larger pool that is situated below that one; which, once it fills completely with water, following the example of the one above it, carries all the excess water into a receptacle at ground level that is located in front of the onlooker’s feet. Finally, two enormous figures representing rivers pour forth veritable reservoirs of water from urns on each side of the pool, complete with a final reward in the form of ferns, moss, maidenhair ferns, and other sorts of verdant plant life, which the moisture below draws out around them. Now this most beautiful—and first and foremost delightful—place, which demands that a viewer not pass by quickly but remain 28 Royal laurel (laurus regia) might be a sweet bay (or bay laurel), whose Latin name is laurus nobilis. 3 <?page no="113"?> 114 Eudemia in Ten Books quem dixi, in trianguli formam extructus, diu delectatos neque tamen satiatos, 59 eo illos vocaret, ubi extremos artis conatus aspicerent. Primum cancelli scalis praefixi, praeclari ad aspectum, et certis ex locis aquas ebulientes fontem quem prae se habent ornant atque augent. Tum locus, in quem ascenditur, rebus magnis et admirabilibus plenus. Hic ars, sibi ipsi aemula, a se ipsa vincitur; hic Natura artis, aemulae suae, conatibus favet. Nam aquas, quibus illa res admirabiles praestat, maiore vi copiaque suppeditat; hic nemora, non temere nata sed ordine posita, latiore campo excurrunt; hic avium caveae, columnis exaedificatae, nemora ipsa ambiunt et continent. In aditu vestibuloque speciosissimi huius loci, declivi quodam solo, catena iacet e lapide per quam aqua ad cancrum, de quo antea diximus, influit, tanto artificio, ut contortae convolutaeque in plures circulos aquae annulos assimulare, tanto strepitu, ut propter vim impetumque, quo defluunt, catenarum similem sonitum edere videantur. Haec autem catena, longiore tractu perducta, demum ita cancri brachiis annectitur, ut eum colligare constringereque ne commovere se possit existimes. Ingentes paulo supra eam catenam fornices e lignea materia facti, prosequentibus eos hederis ambitiosissimis, 60 attolluntur in regiae molis similitudinem; qui fornices inter aediculas quatuor fastigiatas amplam et augustam sine fastigio aedem includunt; cuius medium fons tenet, sepulcralibus monumentis non longe dissimilis, ab imo latus atque rotundus, angustus et acuminatus in summo, acumen efficiente aqua egrediente sursum e patera, ut totum hoc opus ad regum maximorum delicias, non autem ad eius libidines factum videatur, qui ceteris specimen esse iubetur. 59 Juv. 6.130: “lassata viris necdum satiata.” 60 Hor. Carm. I.36.20: “lascivis hederis ambitiosior.” 4 <?page no="114"?> Book Two 115 and stop in contemplation, seemed to require a space where a guest willing to tarry could linger and stroll around shielded from the sun’s harm. Many columns rise up on both sides of the fountain to create two colonnades, which many vine shoots cover like a roof. Many branches encircle these colonnades on all sides twisting in on each other, so that the sun’s rays can barely penetrate through their dense shade. Your eyes would never be satiated, captivated as they are by this sight and this beauty, and they would never seek out anything better or more perfect, were it not for the fact that the double stairway behind the aforementioned fountain, built in the form of a triangle, summons those onlookers—delighted for a long time but not fulfilled—to that place where they can gaze upon the ultimate artistic undertaking. First there are railings affixed to the front of the stairways, magnificent to behold, and waters flowing out of various places adorn and embellish the fountain standing before them. The stairways lead to a place that is full of grand and wonderful objects. Here art, rivaling itself, is surpassed by itself; here Nature favors the enterprise of art, its rival. For it is Nature who supplies the streams of water, with great force and abundance, with which she enhances these astonishing works of art. Here groves, not sprung up by chance but planted with design, extend across a broad plain; over here aviaries, supported by columns, encircle and enclose those groves. In the portico and entrance of this most splendid place, where the ground slopes somewhat downward, a chain hangs from a stone, along which water flows toward the aforementioned crab with such artistry that the water, twisted and coiled into many circles, seems to resemble the links of a chain; moreover, the noise it emits as it flows makes it sound like chains on account of its force and rapid motion. This chain, drawn out in a long line, is attached at the end to the crab’s claws in such a way that you would think it was restraining and fettering the crab so it couldn’t move. Giant wooden arches, adorned with tightly clinging ivy, rise up just above the chain into the likeness of a royal palace. These arches surround, within four gabled structures, a large and august structure without gables that has a fountain in the middle. Looking much like burial monuments, the fountain is round and wide at the bottom and narrow and pointed at the top; at the uppermost point it produces water that sprays up out of a bowl. The result is that the whole work appears to be made for the delight of the greatest kings, not just for the pleasure of the person who is expected to set an example for others. 4 <?page no="115"?> 116 Eudemia in Ten Books His igitur [oculis] 61 diligenter a nobis perlustratis, villam ingredimur, amplam illam quidem et rebus omnibus instructam, sed quae nihil ad hortos. Ubi in amoeno lucidoque conclavi, serico sub conopeo, iacebat adolescens, magis corruptus deliciis quam fatigatus aliquo morbo. Cui Gallonius, “Quid hoc,” inquit, “morbi est? ” - “Febris,” respondet. “Caruistine illa heri,” Gallonius repetit, “vel nudius tertius? Cenavistine? ” 62 Cum haec maxime loqueretur, 63 mulier adolescens passis crinibus 64 cubiculum intrat, capite parietes verberat, clamat, “Me miseram, quid video? Cur aegritudinem istam, quae te macerat, in me transferre non queo? Quid me fiat, si quid humanitus tibi contingat? ” 65 Ille sane commotus, “Ne te crucia,” inquit, “ne mihi ad morbum hoc etiam. 66 Aspectus tuus omnem vim morbi diripiet.” Et, quo flendi ac lamentandi pausam faceret, opiparum illi prandium parari ac dona plurima congeri iussit. Nos, mulieris pietatem admirati, magnum atque spectatum egregii cuiusdam amoris exemplum inspexisse testamur; ac de eo, qui cubiculi fores tuebatur, exquirimus quid ea ad illum aegrum mulier attineat, num soror, num uxor sit, num affinis vel cognata. 67 Qui, “Nihil horum ea est,” ait, “sed meretrix est in primis subdola, blanda, fraudulenta, avara, Nanna nomine, quacum ille menses abhinc quatuor stupri consuetudinem habet. Atque adeo apud hoc caenum amoris clavo fixus inhaeret, ut nullis amicorum neque admonitionibus, neque precibus extrahi queat. Et nisi ad rationis terminos, unde longius abiit, se propere redigat, quantum intellego, omnis eius res brevi meretriciam in domum exulatum abibit. Et quo melius huius meretricis ingenium moresque noscatis, accipite doctum eius dolum, in quo superioribus mensibus mercator quidam adhaesit. “Hic amabat eam perdite ac, ne cum quoquam alio esset, magna mercede in concubinatu sibi coniunxerat. Sed quantum illi misero ardoris faciebat amor, tantum etiam algoris zelotypia conflabat. Meretrix cata, quae illum hamum vorasse cognosceret, ut omnes faciunt, quae se amari intellegunt, nihil tam laborabat quam ut miserum eum haberet, et in primis ut ad sese cum anima eius 61 oculis 1637 62 Plaut. Curc. I.i.17-8: “caruitne febris te heri vel nudius tertius et heri cenavistine? ” 63 Cic. Verr. II.V.LIV.142: “Haec cum maxime loqueretur.” 64 Petron. Sat. 54: “inter primos Fortunata crinibus passis cum scypho, miseramque se atque infelicem proclamavit”; and Sat. 111 (beginning of the Matrona of Ephesus story): “non contenta vulgari more funus passis prosequi crinibus.” 65 Cf. Cic. Phil. 1.4.10: “si quid mihi humanitus accidisset.” 66 Ter. An. I.v.300: “ne ad morbum hoc etiam.” 67 Cic. Cael. XIV.34: “Cum ex amplissimo genere in familiam clarissimam nupsisses, cur tibi Caelius tam coniunctus fuit? cognatus, adfinis, viri tui familiaris? Nihil eorum.” 5 6 <?page no="116"?> Book Two 117 After thoroughly surveying the gardens, we entered a villa that was ample indeed and fully appointed (but nothing compared to the gardens) where, in a lovely, bright room beneath a silk canopy, lay a young man who was more corrupted by luxury than consumed by any sort of illness. Gallonius said to him, “What is this sickness? ” - “A fever,” he responded. Gallonius retorted, “Didn’t you just get over a fever yesterday or the day before? Have you eaten? ” While he was saying this in a loud voice, a young woman entered the room, her hair flying everywhere. She banged her head against the wall and cried, “Poor me, what is this? Why can’t I take this sickness upon myself that is weakening you so? What will become of me if you succumb to what befalls all men? ” 29 Clearly moved, he said, “Don’t fret about it, or that will add to my sickness too! The very sight of you robs my illness of all its power.” Taking a break from crying and wailing, the woman ordered a sumptuous lunch be prepared for him and many gifts collected. Admiring the woman’s kindness, we swore we had witnessed a tried and true example of extraordinary love, and we asked the person who was guarding the doors of the room what the relationship was between the woman and the sick man, whether she was his sister, wife, neighbor, or relative. “She is none of those,” he said. “She is, above all, a cunning, fawning, deceitful, greedy whore named Nanna, 30 who has been sleeping with him for four months. And he is so firmly attached to this filthy love, as if nailed to it, that none of his friends’ reprimanding or pleading can free him from it. And, from what I understand, unless he quickly brings himself back within the bounds of reason (from which he is quite far afield), everything he owns will disappear in short order, exiled to the whore’s house. And so you can better understand the character and ways of this whore, listen to this skillful ruse that she used to snare a merchant in the last few months. “This merchant was hopelessly in love with her, and he bound her to himself as his mistress with large sums of money, so she wouldn’t be with anyone else. But as much as the poor man was burning with love, he was burning in equal amount with icy jealousy. As all women do once they’ve established that a man 29 = death 30 Rossi’s readers would have been familiar with Pietro Aretino’s character Nanna (described by Courtney Quaintance [2015: 35] as “the most famous fictional whore of the Renaissance”) who prepares her daughter Pippa for a career in prostitution. Aretino’s dialogues featuring Nanna are titled Ragionamento della Nanna e della Antonia (1534) and Dialogo nel quale la Nanna insegna a la Pippa l’arte puttanesca (1536). Additionally, tales of prostitutes after men’s money, playing lovers off of each other and employing magical incantations, are reminiscent of the dialogue of Zoppino (attributed to Aretino) where the interlocutors discuss “la vita [e la] geneologia di tutte le cortigiane di Roma” (“the life and genealogy of all of the courtesans in Rome”). The full text and a translation of this work can be found in Salkeld 2001: 68-116. 5 6 <?page no="117"?> 118 Eudemia in Ten Books habentiam averteret. 68 Atque ad eam rem usa est hoc adolescente cui servio; qui amore ipsius captus aliquot iam dies eius aedes obambulabat, quemque peius angue mercator horrebat. Nam est in primis scitulus, mundulus atque venustulus. Coepit igitur illa adolescentis formam laudare, cincinnos efferre; ille miser uri et cultro, quem sub sago contexerat, minitari, si adolescenti obnoxia fieret. Ubi meretrix hominem umbraticum (magis timidam inter viros mulierculam quam fortem inter mulieres virum) 69 cultrum habere animadvertit, haereditatem sibi obvenisse existimavit, ac ‘Croesum,’ inquit, ‘divitiis supero, si eum in me cultrum ille semel educat.’ Itaque mittit adolescenti qui dicat ut proxima concubia nocte domum ad se veniat ac sine ullo metu ianuam feriat. “Vesper adest. Mercator, re bene gesta, domum meretricis venit, cenat, decumbit, cum ea litigat, queritur quod adolescentem plus sese diligat. Illa contra negare, sed frigide; interdum suspiciones inicere. Ille stomachari atque ira vehementius efferri, cum (ecce tibi commodum! ) adolescens ad ianuam adest, pulsat. Ille, suspicione offensus et insidias metuens, e lecto se eicit, ad fenestram advolat, et ‘Quis,’ inquit, ‘odiosus hoc noctis 70 foribus istis insultat? ’ 71 - ‘Ego sum’, inquit adolescens. ‘Aperi actutum.’ Mercator, cognito adolescente, 72 tum quidem omnem violentiam e pectore expromit atque, ‘Hinc abire ni properas,’ 73 ait, ‘ferere.’ Et magis quo se iratum ostenderet quam damnum vel malum daturus, districto cultro in Nannam incurrit. At illa, tanquam praedivinans quid futurum esset, dum ille in fenestra foribus iniuriam factam queritur, furtim e lecto desiluerat ac rubrica in eum usum quaesita dexteram impleverat. Venit ergo ille amenti similis clamans, ‘Itane, pessima? Ante meos oculos amatorculum mihi tuum adducis? ’ Unaque opera femur illi dexterum et brachium lato cultro 68 This phrase is similar to Plaut. Truc. Prologue, line 21 as found in some early editions. Whereas the Harvard Loeb edition (Plautus and de Melo 2011-13) reads “hiscum anima ad eum habenti erce teritur,” the critical apparatus in Plautus and Weise 1847 show that Rossi’s reading is close to Lambinus (“ad se cum anima eius habentiam averrerit”). 69 Cic. Dom. LIV.139: “inter viros saepe mulier et inter mulieres vir.” 70 Plaut. Curc. I.i.1: “Quo te hoc noctis dicam proficisci foras.” 71 Cf. Plaut. Rud. II.iv.414: “Quis est qui nostris tam proterve foribus facit iniuriam? ” 72 The punctuation in both 1637 and 1645 is confusing: a comma is placed after actutum, a period after mercator, and cognito is the beginning of the following sentence. Instead, I have placed a period after actutum and made mercator the first word of the following sentence. 73 Ov. Her. XIV.74: “nox tibi, ni properas, ista perennis erit! ” 7 <?page no="118"?> Book Two 119 is in love with them, the shrewd whore Nanna—recognizing that the merchant had taken the bait—worked at nothing harder than to prolong his affliction and, most importantly, to divert his property to herself, along with his heart. She used this young man here, whom I serve, to that same end. Having fallen in love with her, for several days now the young man began stopping by her house. Because he was handsome, dapper, and charming, the merchant feared him more than he might a snake. Nanna began to praise the young man’s beauty and admire his hair. He (poor merchant! ) became incensed, and he threatened Nanna with a knife—which he kept hidden under his cloak—if she acquiesced to the young man. When the whore noticed that the unassuming merchant (who was more like a timid little woman among men than a strong man among women) had a knife, she reckoned that she had hit the jackpot, and she said to herself, ‘I will be richer than Croesus if he even once pulls that knife on me.’ She then sent someone to the young man to instruct him to come to her house the following night at bedtime, and to knock on the door without hesitation. “Evening came. Per the well-devised plan, the merchant came to the whore’s house, dined, and got into an argument with her, grumbling that she loved the young man more than she loved him. She denied it (but only half-heartedly) and sowed suspicion here and there. The merchant protested and became carried away with rage, when (wouldn't you know) the young man conveniently showed up and knocked at the door. The merchant, vexed by suspicion and fearing an ambush, leaped out of bed, flew to the window, and shouted, ‘What sort of obnoxious person pounds on someone’s door at this hour of the night? ’ - ‘It’s me,’ replied the young man. ‘Open up at once! ’ When the merchant recognized the young man, he exposed all the rage in his heart shouting, ‘Get out of here! And if you don’t hurry up, you’ll be carried away! ’ And more out of a show of anger than out of an intent to inflict harm or injury, he lunged at Nanna with his knife drawn. As if anticipating what was going to happen, while he was at the window grousing about the pounding at the door, she had secretly gotten out of bed and had filled her right hand with red ink that she had obtained for this very purpose. The merchant came at her like a madman shouting, ‘Really, you wicked woman? You dare bring your little lover here, right under my nose? ’ In one fell swoop he struck her right thigh and arm with the flat part of his knife. Without missing a beat, Nanna pressed on with her tricks, moving her hand toward her mouth and, at the same time, tinging it with the red ink screaming, ‘Neighbors, fellow countrymen, I need your help! Save me! Come bring aid to a defenseless woman! This evil man has hurt my face. What should I do? Where should I turn? Will I dare show my face, so deformed, to anyone ever again? I won’t do it—I’ll kill myself! ’ This cry rose up out of the young woman. The 7 <?page no="119"?> 120 Eudemia in Ten Books percussit. Illico illa dolis insistens, admota ad os manu, rubrica illud infecit et simul, ‘Obsecro, populares, vicini, vestram fidem! Subvenite! Ferte inopi auxilium! Malus hic mihi faciem feriit! Quid agam? Quo me vertam? Audebone posthac ita deformis cuiquam in conspectum prodire? 74 Non faciam. Lethum mihi consciscam.’ 75 Hic etiam ab ancilla clamor extollitur; accurrunt vicini, ianuam effringunt, quaerunt quid sit. Clamor utrinque, undique concursus. 76 “Ille miser, qui sibi esset conscius nullum a se vulnus inflictum mulieri, primo mirari quod sanguis efflueret. Tum sibi metuens, fuga salutem quaerere ac, noctis beneficio occultatus, in aedes cuiusdam dynastae tanquam in aram confugere. Ubi postea in otio rem agitanti non satis liquebat quomodo illud a se vulnus exisset. Et secum, ‘Ego, quod scio, latus illi et brachium, non etiam faciem verberavi et, quod rem continet, 77 non caesim, sed gladii planitie. Unde ergo vulnus habet? At simulat. At hisce ego oculis vidi. Fit verisimile; nam non semper it manus quo ea dirigitur, quamvis sit ad feriendum certa. Tum ego iratus eram. Ira caeca est; sensus adimit, mentem eripit. Quid igitur fiet? ’ Dum in hac cogitatione curaque versatur et simul altercantibus libidinibus tremit ossa pavore, 78 statuit per amicos interpretes eam sibi placare, hoc est, argento mollire et pecuniae non parcere. Itaque allegat ad eam idoneos cum mandatis homines, qui quidem mulierem adeunt. “At mala, quo doli procederent, unguentis sibi faciem inunxerat fasciisque obligaverat. Illi pedetentim primum mulierem aggrediuntur, rerum vicissitudines memorant 79 ; laudant eos qui simultates, occasione oblata, dimittunt. Non est passa mulier eos pergere atque insequi longius, sed continuo exclamat, ‘Abite, abite! Nihil mihi de istis factis! Iam faxo, apud omnes magistratus nomen eius erit. Iam illum perdam, si vivam, qui me in perpetuum infamem stigmate in os imposito fecit. Ego illi ut parcam? Ut placeo, mori me malim.’ 80 - ‘Ah ne saevi tantopere,’ 81 inquiunt illi. ‘Res est eiusmodi, in qua casus dominatus sit magis quam ratio.’ - ‘Ergo,’ excepit mulier, ‘hoc praetor diiudicabit, cui dilucide expedivisse me arbitror.’ Ubi illi hanc viam obseptam vident, alia aggrediuntur, 74 Cf. Plaut. Bacch. IV.IX.1007: “Pudet prodire me ad te in conspectum, pater.” 75 Lucr. 3.81: “ut sibi consciscant maerenti pectore letum.” 76 Hor. Sat. I.IX.78-9 “clamor utrimque, / undique concursus. 77 Cic. Tusc. III.XXIV.58: “intellecto eo quod rem continet.” 78 Hor. Sat. II.VII.56-7: “metuens induceris atque / altercante libidinibus tremis ossa pavore.” 79 Ter. Eun. II.ii.276: “omnium rerum, heus, vicissitudost.” 80 Ter. Eun. I.i.65-6: “sine modo, mori me malim.” 81 Ter. An. V.ii.868: “Ah, ne saevi tantopere.” 8 9 <?page no="120"?> Book Two 121 neighbors rushed over, broke down the door, and asked what on earth was going on. Everyone was yelling and running back and forth. “The poor merchant, knowing that no harm had come to the woman by his hand, wondered at first why she was bleeding and then, fearing for himself, sought his own safety by fleeing. Taking advantage of the night to hide himself, he ran into the home of some dynast, as if into a sanctuary. Reflecting upon the matter at leisure, it was not completely clear to him how he had caused her wound. He said to himself, ‘As far as I know, I struck her on her side and on her arm, not even on her face; and, most importantly, not with the blade of my knife but with the flat part. So how did she get that wound? Yes, she’s faking it. Yes, I saw it with my own eyes. It’s plausible; after all, one’s hand doesn’t always go where it’s directed, even when one is intent on doing harm. In that moment I was angry. Rage is blind; it removes good sense and snatches away reason. What will happen now? ’ While he was caught up in these thoughts and worries, his body trembling with a desire that was vying with fear, he decided to make up with her using his friends as intermediaries; that is to say, to soften her up with silver and not to spare any expense. He dispatched suitable men to meet with her and gave them instructions. “But that wicked Nanna, in order to maintain her ruse, had slathered her face with ointments and swathed it with bandages. The men approached her, slowly at first; they reminded her of the changeability of circumstances, and they praised those who put aside their grudges when the opportunity presents itself. The woman did not tolerate their continuing on or pursuing the matter any further but exclaimed suddenly, ‘Go on, get out of here—don’t discuss these matters with me! That man will be summoned before all of the magistrates, I’ll make sure of it. I’ll soon destroy him, if I survive, because he caused me to be forever disgraced by this mark he put on my face. I should pardon him? As pleasing as I am, I’d rather die! ’ - ‘Don’t be so angry,’ they replied. ‘This is how things are when chance more than reason is in control.’ - ‘Then the praetor will decide,’ declared the woman. ‘I believe I have clearly made my case to him.’ When the men realized that that particular line of reasoning had been closed off, they embarked on another. ‘Look,’ they said, ‘the merchant is generous and averse to lawsuits. What do you want in exchange for dropping this entire lawsuit and claim? ’ At first, she denied that such an important matter could be settled with money, then, when the men kept on insisting, she raged and made exaggerated 8 9 <?page no="121"?> 122 Eudemia in Ten Books ‘Vide,’ inquiunt, ‘mercator liberalis est ac fugitans litium. 82 Quid tibi vis dari in manum, ut totam hanc causam postulatumque dimittas? ’ Illa modo negare rem tantam decidi pecunia posse, modo, cum illi magis instarent, insanire et intolerabilia petere. Denique, ne longum faciam, 83 aegre ab ea impetratum est ut minis quinquaginta sibi satisfieri pateretur; quae dissoluta sunt statim. “Sed neque illa decisione contenta fuit; voluit etiam magis hominem assecare. Itaque mittit ad eum qui dicat in eius manu esse eam sibi ab ore infamiam, quam ipse imposuisset, eripere. Medicum esse quendam, Campanum genere, qui omnium vulnerum notas medicamentis abstergeret; sed opus esse argento, quinque praesentibus minis. Quod si fecisset, se in amore et gratia cum ipso futuram. Hic erat circulator quidam, nimis graphicus sycophanta, 84 ad artes nugatorias circulatorum primus. Ille miser, qui Nannae desiderium ferre non posset, ne passus est quidem se exorari, sed sine ulla mora illud dinumeraverit argentum; quod cum ea nugator partitus est statim. Verum quia mercator curationi intererat, haec vafro illi ad decipiendum ratio erat. Fidem ex testudine detractam meretrici, ubi vulnus assimulabatur, inusserat, quae, alte ibidem inhaerendo, sulcum cicatrici non absimilem fecerat. Hunc sulcum, praesente mercatore, ungebat obligabatque diligentissime. Clam eo fide illa iterum obstringebat, sed quotidie remissius, quo fiebat ut paulatim deleri videretur. Quid opus est verbis? Vix dies octo intercesserant, cum plane omnis evanuit. Iam emanarat in vulgus insigne in os Nannae fuisse vulnus inflictum, cum ecce tibi de admirabili novi istius medici curatione percrebuit. Itaque tanti ad eum cicatrices habentium concursus fiebant, ut resisti non posset. Non defuit occasioni nugator, sed properavit eripere. Nam, ab omnibus illis arrhabonis nomine pecuniis acceptis, se praeda refersit et die quadam ante lucem, non conclamatis vasis, 85 castra commovit.” His peroratis, coeperat cubicularius ille alium eius meretricis dolum exponere, sed dicere aggressum interpellavit Gallonius, qui exiens ab adolescente, “Heus vos,” inquit, “properandum est mihi in aedes Plusii, cui meas operas locavi; nam paene abiit hora qua ibi me adesse oportebat, ut officium illud cui sum 82 Ter. Phorm. IV.iii.623: “[h]eru’ liberalis est et fugitans litium.” 83 Hor. Sat. II.I.57: “ne longum faciam.” 84 Plaut. Trin. V.ii.1139: “nimis pergraphicus sycophanta.” 85 Cf. Caes. BCiv I.66: “signum dari iubet et vasa militari more conclamari.” 10 11 <?page no="122"?> Book Two 123 demands. To make a long story short, they got her to agree, with difficulty, to be satisfied with fifty minae, which were paid out at once. “But Nanna was not even satisfied with that offer. She wanted to ruin the merchant even more, so she sent someone to inform him that it was his responsibility to remove that disgraceful blemish from her face, which he himself had inflicted upon her. The person explained that there was a certain doctor from Campania who, with his remedies, would be able to remove any trace of the wound; but the merchant needed to pay him with silver, up front, in the amount of five minae. If the merchant agreed to this, she would be inclined toward him with love and gratitude. The doctor was a quack, a very practiced swindler, especially in the worthless art of selling snake oil. The poor merchant, who couldn’t bear his longing for Nanna and didn’t need to be asked twice, handed over the money without delay, which that good-for-nothing doctor immediately shared with the woman. Because the merchant was present for Nanna’s healing process, this is how that cunning doctor deceived him. He had pressed a string, taken from a lyre, on the whore’s face where the fake wound was, and this string had been pushed in so far that it looked much like the groove of a scar. In the presence of the merchant, the doctor would smear the groove with ointment and wrap it carefully. In secret, he would bandage her up again with the lyre string, but a little looser each day, which made the scar seem to gradually disappear. What more can I say? Hardly eight days had gone by before it all completely disappeared. It had already become the talk of the town that Nanna had received a conspicuous wound to her face, when (behold! ) news spread about this mysterious doctor’s wondrous cure. He received such a stampede of people bearing scars that he could not keep them at bay. The good-for-nothing doctor did not squander his opportunity but rushed to flee. Since he had already collected money from everyone as a deposit, he stuffed himself with his takings and, on a certain day before daybreak and without giving the order to decamp, he pulled up stakes.” When the chamber servant had finished, he began to relate another of the whore’s deceptions, but Gallonius interrupted him as he started speaking. As he was walking away from the young man, Gallonius said to us, “You there, I need to hurry over to Plusius’s house 31 where I have contracted out my services. The 31 Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto’s urban residence was the Palazzo della Cancelleria located in the Parione neighborhood of Rome between the Campo de’ Fiori and the present Corso Vittorio Emanuele II. Cardinal Peretti di Montalto was famous for his lavish lifestyle (DBI). 10 11 <?page no="123"?> 124 Eudemia in Ten Books conductus exsequerer. Tum invitavit me eius tonsor ad prandium rogavitque ut quos mihi commodum esset vocarem; nam duabus umbris 86 fore locum aiebat. Itaque vos mecum adducam. Delectabit enim facetos horum urbanorum mores, praesertim in conviviis agitandis, agnoscere.” - “Tui sumus,” inquio, “duc quo lubet.” Ne multa: in aedes magni illius viri venimus. Sciscitatur Gallonius quid rerum agat dominus, num iam evigilaverit, num surrexerit. Respondet unus, “Iam diu ille surrexit; nam simul ac,” inquit, “caelum illuxit, e lecto prosiluit ac, tonsore accersiri iusso, duas apud illum horas transmisit; atque rasitando, tergendo, pingendo 87 ita miserum illum defatigavit, ut eum ad languorem, vel potius ad interitum, dederit. Tonsore dimisso in secretiore conclavi se cum sarcinatore conclusit; sumptoque in manus circino, suo more experiebatur num singula inter se puncta vestibus acu praefixa ex aequo distarent, num thorax vel sagus corpori eleganter haereret; atque in hoc studio alterae duae horae fuere consumptae. Nunc vero calcearium exercet, miserum habet, clamat corium, quo calcei constant, non esse molle atque flexibile, sed durum ac rigidum; praeterea calceos ipsos non esse habiles neque aptos ad pedes. Irascitur, vociferatur, se diis suis iratis natum esse 88 queritur, cui nihil ex sententia contingat. Sed mox, ut spero, calceolarius etiam ex hoc laqueo iugulum eximet. Nam Flamines vocari, tus et merum parari iussit, quibus rem divinam Iovi optimo maximo faciant. Qua peracta, ut creditur, prandium inibit.” “Non malum est,” inquit Gallonius, “ut in procoetonem me conferam ibique eius imperium exspectem.” Nos igitur, a Gallonio introducti, unum eius angulum petimus et, collo obstipo, quae dicebantur quaeque ibi fiebant excipimus. Ac primum orta est inter eos quaestio quaenam pullis gallinaceis aestate, quae hieme curatio, quod condimentum aptius esset. 89 Nec minima erat inter eos contentio, nam aliud alii placebat. Tum ille, qui hos sermones lacessierat, contradicentibus 86 Cf. Hor. Sat. II.VIII.21-2: “cum Servilio Balatrone / Vibidius, quos Maecenas adduxerat umbras.” 87 Cf. Plaut. Poen. I.ii.219-21: “numquam concessamus / lavari aut fricari aut tergeri aut ornari, / poliri expoliri, pingi fingi.” 88 Cf. Phdr. IV.21.15: “dis est iratis natus qui est similis tibi.” 89 This culinary debate is similar to one described in a 1627 letter from Rossi to Vincenzo Gramigna (Ep. ad div. I.III.VI: “tenere quomodo pullus gallinaceus hieme, quomodo aestate condiatur, quomodo aves in frusta scindantur; dare operam sedulo ut fidecula, turdus vel coturnix recte curata a coco exeat” (“they hold forth on how chicken should be sea- 12 <?page no="124"?> Book Two 125 hour has almost gone when I need to be there to carry out the tasks he hired me to do. His barber invited me to lunch later and asked me to bring along anyone else I wanted, saying that there would be room for two hangers-on. And so I will take the two of you along. You will enjoy becoming acquainted with the fine customs of these urbane people, especially in throwing parties.” - “We’re all yours,” I said. “Lead us wherever you want.” In short, we arrived at the home of that great man. Gallonius went to find out what in the world his master was up to and whether he was already awake and out of bed. Someone replied, “Plusius got up a long time ago. He jumped out of bed as soon as it was light out, called for his barber, and spent two hours with him. But he so wore his poor barber out with shaving him, bathing him, and putting makeup on his face, that he drove him to exhaustion, or rather to destruction. After dismissing the barber, Plusius shut himself up in a more private room with a tailor where he grabbed a drawing compass in his hands and tested, as was his habit, whether each of his buttons, which were sewn onto his clothing with a needle, was equidistant from the others and whether his corselet or waistcoat was fitting elegantly to his body. Two more hours were consumed in this project. Then he browbeat a shoemaker, made him miserable, and complained that the leather his shoes were made out of was not soft and pliable but was stiff and had no give. What is more, he complained that the shoes themselves were unsuitable and didn’t look right on his feet. He got angry, yelled, and complained that he had been born unlucky and that nothing ever went his way. But soon, I hope, even the shoemaker will free his neck from those fetters, because Plusius has ordered the priests be summoned and the incense and unmixed wine be prepared, in order to make a sacrifice to Jupiter Optimus Maximus. When that is concluded, we believe, lunch will commence.” “It’s not a bad idea” said Gallonius, “for me to head to the foyer to await Plusius’s orders.” Gallonius led us in, and we each staked out a corner, crooked our necks, and took in everything that was being said and everything that was going on. The first question that arose among those men was which cooking method and seasoning were most suitable for chicken in the summer and in the winter. And the dispute was not minimal because each person had a different preference. The man who was egging these discussions on (while everyone else disagreed) preferred fig-pecker birds to thrush and quail to pheasant. And everyone eagerly ridiculed a certain member of the group, who seemed to possess no sense in these matters, calling him lowborn and unrefined. Worse, they said that he wasn’t even worthy of being considered a human being. From this topic they devolved into slandering and railing against the character of women, accusing some of not honorably preserving their modesty, others of prostituting and selling their bodies—with the full knowledge of their husbands—and 12 <?page no="125"?> 126 Eudemia in Ten Books ceteris, ficedulam turdo et coturnicem phasiano anteponebat; omnesque certatim illudebant unum ex eo numero, qui nullum in his rebus sensum habere videbatur, ac sordidum eum et incultis moribus appellabant; imo ne hominum quidem numero esse dignum aiebant. Ab hoc sermone ad carpendam lacerandamque mulierum famam digrediuntur; atque alias parum honeste pudicitiam habere, criminari; alias, consciis maritis, prostituere formam ac vendere; alias forma egregia filias his atque illis non parva mercede subicere; multaque his addere ac nomen etiam uniuscuiusque mulieris dicere, quae, quia nullam earum notitiam habebam, oblitus sum statim. Erat hominum cultus elegantissimus, sed parum virilis; neque fere ibi quisquam erat, qui novas nuptas elegantia munditiisque non vinceret. Illud vero ridiculum, quod, cum duo inter se de amicula rixari 90 coepissent, eorum unus alterum (contumeliae scilicet causa) hircum olidum, impurum, perfidiosum, obscenum appellavit. Ille, quo se lacessitus ulcisceretur, novas eidem contumelias studebat ingerere, sed, cum maxime quaereret, nullum acrius maledictum invenire potuit quam ut illi obiceret quod incultus, inornatus ac male tonsus incederet. Quod cum vehementer admirati essemus, audivimus postea nullum apud eos haberi flagitium maius quam tibialia, ligaminibus sericis ad terram usque productis, non adstringere vel minimam in collari rugam admittere; nullum nefas grandius existimari quam perpeti ut in coma vel barba pilus unus ceteris altior excrescat, nec statim novacula revocare quod petulantius sese profuderit; nihil magis sordidum censeri quam mensem integrum eodem uti amictu. Sed improvisus Plusii adventus omnem illis iram sedavit et in tranquillo constituit. Nam qui velum allevabat, festive, “Heus vos,” inquit, “manus de tabula! Magister adest.” 91 At ille, qui praeeuntibus ceteris per 92 procoetonem transiens ad aram Iovis se confert, sacrificanti adest, revertitur, prandium poscit; Gallonius, ut omnibus rebus instructum sit prandium, curat. Quo expleto, revertitur ad nos atque, “Is,” inquit, “qui me invitavit ad prandium, iussit sterni lectos in hortis urbi propinquis ad fontem large manantem. At, me hercle, capietis voluptatem ex loci aspectu; nam et propter arborum viriditatem est longe amoenus, et propsoned in the winter and in the summer, how birds should be carved into pieces, and they pay careful attention to fig-pecker birds, thrushes, and quails being cooked properly”). 90 Cic. De or. II.LIX.240: “cum esset cum eo Tarracinae de amicula rixatus.” 91 Cic. Fam. 261 (VII.25): “Sed heus tu, manum de tabula; magister adest citius quam putaramus” (literally, “hands off your tablet,” meaning that the schoolchildren must stop writing when the teacher arrives [Cicero and Shackleton Bailey 2001, n. 3]). 92 vel 1645 13 14 <?page no="126"?> Book Two 127 still others of selling their beautiful daughters’ bodies to various men for not insignificant sums of money. They told many stories besides, identifying each of these women by name. Since I had never heard of them, however, I immediately forgot them. The fashion sense of these men was very elegant and stylish, albeit not very manly, and there was hardly anyone present at the banquet who did not surpass a new bride in terms of elegance and finery. It was truly ridiculous that, when two of them started fighting with each other over a woman, one of them (in order to insult him, of course) called the other a stinking, foul, perfidious, and obscene goat. The other one, in order to avenge himself at having been singled out, heaped novel insults upon the first man. Though he tried his best, he was not able to find a fiercer insult than berating him for going around in an uncouth state, unadorned, and with a bad haircut. After we had eagerly watched this exchange we later learned that nothing was considered more disgraceful among these men than not to lace one’s stockings with silk laces that stretched all the way down to the ground, or to permit even the smallest wrinkle in one’s collar; it was thought that there was no greater sin than allowing a single hair of one’s head or beard to grow longer than the others, and then not to immediately tame with a razor whatever had the gall to protrude; that nothing was considered more unsavory than to wear the same cloak for an entire month. But Plusius’s unexpected arrival allayed any anger in these men and put them at ease. The one who drew back the curtain said cheerfully, “Heads up, everyone! Stop what you’re doing; the teacher is here! ” Crossing the foyer while everyone walked ahead of him, Plusius approached the altar of Jove, assisted the person who was conducting the sacrifice, came back, and demanded his lunch, which Gallonius had made sure was furnished with all the trimmings. After Plusius had eaten his fill, Gallonius came over to us and said, “The man who invited me to lunch has ordered dining couches be set up in the gardens near the city next to an abundantly flowing fountain. By Hercules, you will surely derive pleasure from the sight of that place. It is very beautiful on account of the greenery of the trees, and very cool thanks to the abundance of flowing waters.” To make a long story short, he took us there, and upon entering we were met with more water than we could recall ever having seen. Indeed, the entire place was overflowing not with fountains but with rain showers, not with streams but with rivers. Nature or engineering (it is uncertain which) had carved six 13 14 <?page no="127"?> 128 Eudemia in Ten Books ter vim decurrentium aquarum frigidissimus.” Ne multa: eo deducimur, locum intramus. Ubi tantam aquarum vim cernimus, quantam uspiam nos non vidisse meminimus. Etenim non certis fontibus sed imbribus, non rivis sed fluminibus locus totus exundat. Specus sex incertum natura vel ars in montis dorso cavavit, sed ita, ut unis tribus alteri tres incumbant, asperis ac rudibus tophis, lepide et iucunde perhorridi. Ab his tophis tum intra tum extra specus haerentibus ac varia herbarum viriditate diffusis, aquarum imbres magni vehementesque procurrunt, qui tum specus ipsos implent, tum latum ante specus ipsos lacum efficiunt. Locum parietes, ab utroque montis latere producti, in latitudinem quadrant; per quos horridulos 93 et ipsos saxis intectos, quo incultae illi specuum asperitati respondeant, perpetui defluunt imbres; habentque post se inter diffusa late nemora speciosissima ambulacra. Hic talis est sonitus, qualem ex multis atque alte cadentibus aquis esse oporteat; talis species, quam fontes, nemora, ars denique et natura ipsa componant. In hoc tam amoeno ac perfrigido loco apud eum fontem speciosissimum statutos lectos et appositam mensam invenimus, ea epularum varietate constructam, qua extrui solet ab iis qui amicos magnifice volunt accipere. Ecce autem ex improviso ingens ad aures nostros clamor ac strepitus accidit. Qui prandium dabat, convivas alios a se vocatos adesse narrabat. Capita hominum numeravimus novem, attamen ex strepitu quo in eum locum irruperant, sexcentos esse iurasses. Hi simul ut apparuerunt, tanquam hostes capta urbe solent, cuncta diripere, tuburcinari, vorare, oenophora exhaurire et clamore omnia miscere. Ille qui invitaverat paene irasci, clamare, ut manus lavarent, ut lectis se commendarent; atque aegre impetratum est ut vellent accumbere. Tres erant lecti et in singulis quaterni discumbimus: summus Gallonius, ac prope eum ego, tum Paulus Aemilius, infra ceteri omnes. Hic tantum vini exhaustum est, quantum una vindemia colligitur. Qui stellas numerare potest, numerum etiam cyathorum inibit qui sunt exhausti. Atque ab implendis tradendisque poculis viri sunt quinque defessi. Sed inter clamores maximos, inter risus effusissimos saepe ructus, saepius crepitus erumpebant. Nulla alia vox exaudiebatur, nisi haec, “Bene mihi, bene vobis, bene Plusio nostro! ” Iam non in ventres, sed in cloacas, sed in barathra profundi vinum videbatur. 94 Vix lauti quidquam in mensa apponebatur, cum direptum illud vidisses. Erat inter eos unus longe urbanissimus, qui cantharum, in quo potitabat, frustis esculentis 95 tanquam rosis coronabat et, cum vinum implesset, in se totum ingurgitabat. Hic clamores 93 horriduli 1637, 1645. Mark T. Riley suggests this emendation to horridulos (modifying parietes). 94 Cf. Plaut. Curc. I.ii.123: “Age, effunde hoc cito in barathrum, propere prolue cloacam.” 95 Cf. Cic. Phil. 2.25.63: “is vomens frustis esculentis vinum redolentibus gremium suum et totum tribunal inplevit.” 15 <?page no="128"?> Book Two 129 caves into the ridge of a hill—in such a way that three of the caves sat above the other three—that were delightfully and beautifully wild and faced with rough and rugged tufa. From these tufa rocks—which clung both inside and outside the caves and were covered with plants of varying shades of green—powerful showers of water poured forth, both filling the caves themselves and creating a wide lake in front of them. Walls rose up on either side of the hill to define the boundaries of the site. Through these walls—which were rough and covered with rocks to match the wild ruggedness of the caves—flowed unceasing waters; and behind them, within the wide groves, were located marvelous tree-lined walkways. There we heard the kind of sound you would expect from many streams falling from a great height, and we beheld the sort of spectacle created by fountains, groves, art, and, finally, by Nature herself. In this place that was so beautiful and so refreshing, next to that spectacular fountain, we came upon dining couches that had been set up and a laid table piled high with the kind of variety of sumptuous dishes that is generally furnished by those wishing to receive their friends in a splendid manner. Then, suddenly, a great noise and din reached our ears. Our lunch hosts informed us that the other invited guests had arrived. They were nine in number, but from the ruckus you would have sworn there were hundreds of them invading that place. As soon as the guests appeared, they laid waste to everything (as invading forces do once a city has been captured) devouring, stuffing themselves, draining jugs of wine, and throwing everything into chaos with their racket. The man who had invited everyone was nearing the point of anger, shouting that everyone needed to wash their hands and take their places on the dining couches; and he barely succeeded in getting them to agree to sit down. There were three couches, and we reclined four to a couch. Gallonius was seated at the highest couch with me next to him, Paulus Aemilius was seated at the middle couch, and everyone else at the low couch. While at the table we consumed as much wine as is collected during an entire vintage season. If it were possible to count the stars in the sky, that is the same number of drinking cups that were drained. There were five men serving us who were worn out from filling and fetching wine glasses. The banqueters frequently let rip burps (and even more frequently farts) to accompany their great cries and effusive laughter. The only words we heard were, “Cheers to me, cheers to you, cheers to our Plusius! ” They no longer appeared to be pouring wine into their stomachs but into drains, or into an abyss. Some delicious dish would barely have been placed on the table before you would see it get snatched up. There was an extremely refined man in our midst who was garlanding the cup he was drinking out of with bits of what he had been eating, as if they were roses, and whenever he filled it with wine 15 <?page no="129"?> 130 Eudemia in Ten Books edi, hic cachinnos tolli et faustis acclamationibus operi gloriosissimo plaudi. Productum erat prope ad vesperam convivium, nec bibendi modus ullus nec satietas erat. Ecce autem adest a Plusio servus, qui Gallonio nuntiat ut, relictis rebus omnibus, curriculo ad praetorem transeat eique Plusii 96 verbis exponat ut honoris ipsius gratia Toxillum e reis eximat et quamprimum incolumem ad sese remittat. Hic evictus, quod hereditatem Veneri relictam 97 expilasset, quod falsos testes subornasset ac multa alia nefaria fecisset contra ius fasque, contrusus in carcerem fuerat. Itaque a reliquis convivis distrahimur atque ad tribunal praetoris accedimus. Hic magnae cuidam quaestioni operam dabat. Lictores mulierculam forma non mala, quam meretricem esse aiebant, in ius abstraxerant eiusque opera male se fustibus acceptos querebantur; ac fidei faciendae causa brachia ac tergora plagis varia ostentabant. Rogat praetor cui tantum animi ad audaciam 98 fuerit, ut unius meretricis causa publicas personas tam insigni affecisset iniuria. Respondet unus, ceteris fortasse ad dicendum paratior, “Furem manifesto deprehensum rapiebamus in carcerem; qui, dum illac transimus, ubi venefica isthaec inhabitat, sese e vinculis eximit, manus nostras effugit atque in unam eius vici domum irrumpit. Nos insequi; nec cum satis constaret quo se recepisset, singulas eius viciniae domos perquirere. Ne multa: ad aedes huius meretricis venimus, fores pultamus, nemo respondet, calcibus impetimus, tantundem effringimus, nihilo magis. Ergo scalas ascendimus ac mulierem in lecto iacentem invenimus. Tum ego, ‘Quid est,’ inquam, ‘quod taces? Cur es passa fores effringi? Eratne ita magnum recludere? ’ Illa in eodem silentio perseverare. Tum ego, ‘Vide,’ inquam, ‘obstinatum ad tacendum animum, ut sese offirmat. Propudium, iam aliquam ex te vocem saltem ingratiis eliciam’; iratusque virgis graviter illi latus impello. Tum demum illa dolore coacta, ‘Heus! ’ exclamat. Rem incredibilem: vix ‘Heus’ dixerat, cum imbris vel grandinis more crebros nobis in scapulas, in caput, in brachia fustium ictus sensisses irruere; neque tamen fustes, neque aliquis qui verberaret conspiciebatur. Nos, metu perterriti ac male multati, terga vertere, per scalas praecipites currere, pedibus salutem quaerere.” 96 Plusidis 1637 97 Cic. Verr. II.I.X.27: “qui illam hereditatem Veneri Erycinae commissam esse dicerent.” 98 Cic. Verr. II.III.XXXV.81: “tantum animi habuit ad audaciam.” 16 <?page no="130"?> Book Two 131 he would guzzle the whole lot down. We were loud, we laughed raucously, and we applauded the glorious event with exclamations of approval. The feast went on almost into the evening with no moderation or diminution of drinking. Then one of Plusius’s servants arrived and announced to Gallonius that he should leave everyone and go quickly over to the praetor, and that he should explain to him, in Plusius’s words, that the praetor, on account of Plusius’s high status, should release Toxillus 32 as a defendant and let him go unharmed. Toxillus had been found guilty and had been thrown in jail for plundering an inheritance bequeathed to Venus, bearing false witness, and committing various other nefarious acts contrary to what was lawful and right. We were thus drawn away from the other revelers and made our way to the courtroom of the praetor, who was busy with some important judicial investigation. The lictors had dragged a young woman into court (not a bad looking one) who they were saying was a prostitute. They were complaining that she had caused them to be soundly beaten with cudgels and, so that we would believe them, they showed us their arms and backs, which were black and blue with blows. The praetor asked who was so audacious as to inflict such a visible injury on public officials on account of a single whore. One man, who was perhaps more prepared to speak than the rest, responded, “We were in the process of dragging a thief off to jail, whom we had caught red-handed. While we were passing the place where this witch lives, he freed himself from his chains, escaped our grasp, and ran into one of the houses on her street. We chased after him and, because we couldn’t see where he had gone, we searched every single house in that neighborhood. In brief, we arrived at the whore’s house and knocked on the door. When nobody answered, we assailed the door with our feet so hard that it broke. Still nothing. So we went upstairs and found the woman lying on her bed. Then I said, ‘What’s this? Why aren’t you saying anything? Why did you let us break down your door? Would it have been so hard to open it? ’ She remained silent. Then I said, ‘Look how your mind holds firm, bent on not speaking. You villain. I will drag words out of you, whether you like it or not.’ Enraged, I attacked her violently with a switch. Finally, compelled by the pain, she cried, ‘Hey! ’ And then an incredible thing happened. Barely had she yelled ‘Hey,’ when you could feel blows of a cudgel attacking us on our shoulders, heads, and arms, like a rainor hailstorm—but there were no cudgels in sight, or anyone hitting us! Petrified with fear and badly beaten, we turned tail and ran quickly down the stairs seeking safety on foot.” 32 Toxilus is the name of a slave in Plaut. Pers. 16 <?page no="131"?> 132 Eudemia in Ten Books Interrogat praetor quemadmodum id factum esse arbitrentur. Respondent illi fidenter se existimare id sibi contigisse muliebribus veneficiis atque cantionibus, 99 ac “Tibi,” inquiunt, 100 “nosse licet ab ista, quam huius rei testem adduximus.” Haec, ut de facie coniciebamus, scortum erat diobolare 101 pagoque polluctum. 102 Ac praetorem intuens, “Si mihi,” inquit, “fides publica detur, rem omnem uti sese habeat, aperiam.” Iussa mulier a praetore quae sciret edicere, “Nos,” inquit, “meretriculae, si quando ab amatoribus nostris deserimur, ad eos revocandos frustulum panis cum caseo, certis quibusdam precibus devotum, de fenestra deicimus; at si canis atra voratum illud adveniat, impetritum inauguratumque 103 existimamus esse et mox eum, quem volumus, adfuturum. Sed interea, dum ille veniat, nisi si quae malam rem quaerit, caveat oportet, ne verbum unum faxit. Nam si mutire audeat, feret infortunium. Bona haec mulier venit pridie ad me domum, querens quod amatorculus eius sibi graviter esset infensus, quod alium ad se virum, ipso invito, recepisset ac propterea amorem et dona alio transtulisset. Orabat, rogabat ut sibi subvenirem et rationem ostenderem qua eum posset ad sese reducere. Ego eius miserta, ne eodem redigeretur unde orta est, nempe ad egestatis terminos, 104 frustulum panis cum caseo praecantatum porrigo iubeoque ut deturbet in viam. Illa accipit, proicit; venit canis, devorat. Tum fores claudit, in lecto se collocat, dum amator veniat exspectans, iamque rei nihil nisi eventus deerat. Qui quidem facile ex sententia contigisset, nisi, quae cuncta miscet, Fortuna prohibuisset.” His dictis, obticuit. Tum praetor iubet vinctam dicere. Quae audacter respondet nunquam se vidisse cuiquam pulchrius ligna praeberi 105 quam sibi ac lictoribus praebita essent. Interrogat praetor unde id factum existimet. Respondet illa se existimare deorum manium opera fuisse perfectum. Tum, “Tu igitur,” inquit praetor, “venefica es? ” Mulier subdola atque ad malitiam instructa, “Nihil,” inquit, “minus, quin misere sum veneficiis aliarum obnoxia. Nam prope est annus cum a lemuribus exagitor, maleficae cuiusdam invidia. Ac saepe est, cum 99 Cic. Brut. LX.217: “idque veneficiis et cantionibus Titiniae factum esse dicebat.” 100 Inquit 1637, 1645. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998) suggests this emendation to inquiunt. 101 Plaut. Poen. I.ii.270: “servolorum sordidulorum scorta diobolaria.” 102 Plaut. Rud. II.iv.425: “Non ego sum pollucta pago.” In sacrifices to Hercules the portion of the meat that was burned on the altar was called the porrectum and the remainder, the pollucta, was offered to the people for a feast (Plautus and Harrington 1892, n. 425). 103 Plaut. As. II.i.259: “impetritum, inauguratumst.” 104 Plaut. As. I.ii.139: “ego pol te redigam eodem unde orta es, ad egestatis terminos.” 105 Plaut. Aul. III.i.413: “neque ligna ego usquam gentium praeberi vidi pulchrius.” 17 18 <?page no="132"?> Book Two 133 The praetor asked the men how they thought this had happened. They confided in him that they thought they had experienced this because of womanly magic and incantations. They said, “You can learn what happened from this woman here, whom we brought before you as a witness to this matter.” She (as we inferred from her appearance) was a two-bit whore, a dish for the whole village. Looking at the praetor she said, “If you can guarantee my protection, I will reveal the entire matter as it is.” The woman was ordered by the praetor to explain what she knew, “Whenever our lovers leave us,” she began, “we prostitutes toss a piece of bread and cheese out the window, and we cast a spell of certain curses on it in order to summon them back. But if a black female dog approaches the piece of bread to eat it, we consider it to be a good and auspicious omen that the man we desire will soon appear. In the meantime, though, until he comes (unless she is asking for trouble), the prostitute must be careful not to utter a single word. If she dares to speak, she will bring misfortune upon herself. This good woman came to my house the day before, complaining because her lover was deeply angry with her. She had been with another man behind his back, and therefore he had transferred his love and gifts elsewhere. She begged and pleaded for me to help her and show her how she could get him back. Taking pity on her, so she wouldn’t return to the state from which she had risen (namely on the verge of poverty), I offered her some bread and cheese that I had put a spell on, and I told her to throw it down into the street. She took it, threw it down, and a dog came and ate it. Then she closed the door, got into bed, and waited for her lover to come, since the only thing left was the happy ending. Indeed, he would have certainly come to her as she had wished, if Fortune, who throws everything into confusion, had not prohibited it.” After the whore had recounted these things, she fell silent. Then the praetor ordered the other woman (who was tied up) to speak. She brazenly responded that she had never seen firewood given away so freely as it had been to her and the lictors. 33 The praetor asked who she thought had done this. She responded that she believed the deed had been carried out by the spirits of the dead. To which the praetor said, “So you are a witch? ” The woman, crafty and trained to malice, replied, “Not at all. Instead I am the victim of the magic of other women. It is coming up on a year that I have been harassed by ghosts on account of some witch’s jealousy. It often happens that, after being tormented with beatings meant to kill me, I am carried out of the house like a corpse at the hands of my neighbors.” When he heard this, the praetor ordered the neighbors to be called as witnesses to the case. They came straightaway, but because of her ties to the 33 That is, beaten (with a wooden cudgel) so soundly. For the source of this phrase see Liber II, n. 105. 17 18 <?page no="133"?> 134 Eudemia in Ten Books verberibus ad necem affecta, pro mortua inter vicinarum manus efferor.” His auditis, praetor vicinis in hanc rem testimonium denuntiari iubet. Qui statim adeunt, sed vicinitatis necessitudine et ut a muliere gratiam inirent, eamque periculo damnationis eriperent, iurati illud idem pro testimonio dicunt, quod meretrix in defendendo responderat. Tum praetor, a severitate in misericordiam versus, mulierem velut lymphatam seu cerritam de consilii sententia absolvit, de reis eximit, lictores abire in malam rem iubet. Consilio dimisso, praetor ex aula, ubi cognitioni operam dabat, se subducit et in cubiculum abdit. Non enim apud eos ita, uti Romae mos est, iudicia publica exercentur in foro, sed in aedibus magistratuum fiunt. Gallonius, ut introducatur ad eum postulat; se enim habere quae Plusii iussu eidem exponat. Cubicularii rem ad praetorem deferunt, qui, ut adesse a Plusio nuntium accepit, continuo intromitti eum imperat, sellas poscit ac sedere Gallonium iubet. Ille modestiae scilicet causa negare; praetor instare neque se aliter eum auditurum dicere. Gallonius morem gerit, in sella se collocat et quae a Plusio mandata habet exponit. Quarum summa haec erat: ut reum illum, quem falsi et expilatae haereditatis criminibus accusatum habebat in carcere, sententiis iudicum absolvendum curet. Hoc enim beneficio magnam se a Plusio gratiam initurum. Respondet praetor reum illum esse scelerum caput, 106 crimen manifestum, capitale, invidiosum, et, “Si iuri legibusque sit locus, iam pridem,” inquit, “in supplicium, in crucem abreptum eum oportuit. Sed quoniam Plusio ita ille est cordi, rationem inveniam qua incolumis iudicium effugiat. Res Veneris agitur, cui si quid adimitur, impune aufertur. Dii boni sunt, liberales, nec affecti iniuria irasci cuiquam sciunt.” 107 In pauca ut conferam: impensius etiam quam exigebatur, promittit operam 108 et, quo ab huius sermonis tristitia animus ad hilaritatem traduceretur, percontari coepit ex Gallonio quid rerum Plusius ageret, quo genere voluptatis pomeridianas horas deciperet, quot cyathos biberet, quot uncias cantharus caperet in quo potitabat, atque alia id genus multa; quibus egregie Gallonius satisfecit. 106 Plaut. Mil. II.vi.494; ibid. Curc. II.i.234; ibid. Pseud. I.v.1054. 107 Cf. Sen. Ira I.3.5: “[ferae] irasci quidem non magis sciunt quam ignoscere” (“[wild animals] do not know how to be angry any more than they know how to pardon”). 108 Curt. VII.II.17: “Polydamas tanto liberatus metu inpensius etiam, quam exigebatur, promittit operam.” 19 <?page no="134"?> Book Two 135 neighborhood, and in order to curry the woman’s favor and to save her from the peril of a conviction, the neighbors, after they had been sworn in, gave the same testimony the prostitute had given in her own defense. The praetor was turned from severity to mercy, he absolved the woman (who was either mad or crazed), and, with the approval of his legal counsel, he suspended her hearing and ordered the lictors to go hang. After the council was dismissed, the praetor withdrew from the courtroom where he had been attending to the trial, and retreated to his chambers. In Eudemia, criminal proceedings are not carried out in the Forum, as is the practice in Rome, but they take place in magistrates’ homes. Gallonius demanded to be taken to the praetor, because he had something that he needed to tell him, on Plusius’s orders. The chamber servants presented the matter to the praetor, who, as soon as he heard that an emissary from Plusius had arrived, immediately ordered him to be admitted. He asked for chairs and invited Gallonius to sit down, which Gallonius, of course, declined on account of his modesty. The praetor insisted saying that he would otherwise not listen to what Gallonius had to say. Gallonius acquiesced, settled into a chair, and relayed his orders from Plusius, of which the most important was this: that the praetor should see to absolving, with a judicial decision, the defendant Toxillus, whom he was holding in prison because he had been accused of fraudulently plundering the inheritance of another; and that, because of this service, the praetor would receive a great favor from Plusius. The praetor responded that the prisoner was the chief of villains, that his crime was manifest, capital, and heinous, and he said, “If there is a place for justice and laws, he ought to have been dragged off a long time ago to his punishment and onto a cross. Since he is so important to Plusius, however, I will find a justification for him to escape judgment unharmed. This matter regards Venus’s property and, if some of it is taken, it is to be carried off without penalty. The gods are good and generous; even if they suffer an injury, they do not know how to be angry at anyone.” To make a long story short, the praetor promised his aid even more earnestly than had been asked of him. In order to move his thoughts from the sadness of this conversation to cheerfulness, he began to ask what on earth Plusius was up to, what sorts of pleasures he spent his afternoons engaging in, how many glasses of wine he drank, how capacious the tankard he drank from was, and many other questions of this sort, to which Gallonius responded very satisfactorily. 19 <?page no="135"?> 136 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed cum iam advesperasceret, discessurus surrexit. Quem praetor, officii gratia, ad scalas usque perduxit, identidem admonens ut suis verbis multam salutem Plusio diceret. Qui demum, ita honorifice acceptus atque dimissus, laetus nobiscum domum versus iter arripuit. Sed ad ostium amico cuidam veteri occurrit, quem post mutuas salutationes rogavit quid ageret. Qui inquit, “Irae sunt inter praetorem et Asterium illum divitem 109 ; eo ut pacem conciliem.” 110 - “Quid audio? ” Gallonius ait. “Asterius scit irasci? Quem ego tam putabam tranquillum, quam est mare cum halcyonum feturae substernitur.” 111 - “At, pol, Asterius antiquum suum obtinet,” 112 respondit ille, “sed praetor solus est in fermento 113 ac totus tumet. Da mihi operam, ridicula res est. “Habebat Asterius apud centumviros controversiam de re pecuniaria cum Robusto Ursaceo. Itaque eum vadatur. Continebat autem vadimonium, ut ad certam diem Ursaceus in iudicio se sisteret ad sententiam iudicum audiendam. Ursaceus diem vadimonii obire contempsit. Quamobrem tanquam contumax condemnatur ac secundum Asterium sententia profertur. Ursaceus praetorem appellat, qui statim iudices perperam iudicasse pronuntiat ideo, quia Ursaceus vadimonio suo promiserat tantum ad eam diem se sistere, non autem iudicum sententiam accipere; ad quam audiendam novo erat vadimonio compellendus. Sed cum clamaret Asterius ac verbis vadimonii vim fieri diceret quae erant, ut Ursaceus se sisteret 114 ad audiendam iudicum sententiam, bonus praetor nullam ipsi fieri iniuriam dicebat, quia verba illa ‘ad audiendam iudicum sententiam’ non erant coniungenda cum verbo ‘se sisteret,’ sed ab eodem interpunctionibus separanda. Quamobrem, cum per se sumpta novam orationem efficerent, novum etiam vadimonium requirebant. Asterius, hac tam insigni iniuria verberatus, ad ultionem decurrit ac paucis diebus post scribit praetori epistolam in haec verba, ‘Peto a te, domine praetor, ut in crastinum te mihi sistas; ad cenandum mecum.’ Praetor postridie ad horam adest. Cui Asterius, ‘Tibi,’ inquit, ‘gratias ago, quod veneris, sed cras cena dabitur.’ - ‘Quid hoc est? ’ ait ille, ‘nonne promisisti in hunc diem? ’ - ‘Non’ ait. ‘At possum,’ inquit praetor, ‘epistolam tuam proferre, in qua me hodie vocas ad cenam.’ - ‘Cedo epistolam,’ ait ille, ac sumptam in 109 Cf. Ter. An. III.iii.552: “irae sunt inter Glycerium et gnatum.” 110 Ter. Haut. V.vi.1046: “exeo ergo ut pacem conciliem.” 111 Plin. HN. II.XLVII.125: “ante brumam autem VII diebus totidemque post eam sternitur mare alcyonum feturae, unde nomen ii dies traxere.” 112 Plaut. Mostell. III.ii.789: “Antiquom optines hoc tuom, tardus ut sis.” 113 Plaut. Cas. II.v.325: “Nunc in fermento tota est”; ibid. Merc. V.iii.959: “nam mea uxor propter illam tota in fermento iacet.” 114 resisteret 1637 20 21 <?page no="136"?> Book Two 137 Since it was already evening, Gallonius got up to leave. The praetor, out of a sense of duty, accompanied him to the stairs reminding him repeatedly to pass along his many greetings to Plusius. At last, Gallonius, after being respectfully received and dismissed, happily hit the road with us back home. But at the front door he ran into an old friend and, after exchanging salutations, inquired how he was doing. The friend replied, “There is a quarrel between the praetor and the wealthy Asterius. I am off to work things out between them.” - “What is this I hear? ” said Gallonius. “Asterius is capable of getting angry? I always thought of him as being as calm as a sea that has been allayed for the hatching of kingfisher chicks.” 34 - “To be sure, Asterius has returned to his old self,” the friend replied. “Now the praetor alone is angry and all worked up. Listen to this ridiculous story. “Asterius had a disagreement with Robustus Ursaceus before the centumvirs regarding a financial matter, and he bound him over by bail to appear in court. The terms of the bail stipulated that Ursaceus present himself in court on a certain day to hear the judges’ ruling. Ursaceus disregarded his court date, and, because of this, the so-called scofflaw was convicted, and the judge ruled in Asterius’s favor. Ursaceus appealed to the praetor, who immediately declared that the judges had ruled incorrectly because Ursaceus had promised, per the terms of his bail, only to present himself in court that day but not to hear the judges’ ruling; and that for him to hear the judges’ ruling, he would have to be compelled by a new order to appear. When Asterius protested saying that the force of the order was achieved by its wording, that Ursaceus present himself in court to hear the ruling of the judges, the good praetor declared that he would find no wrongdoing because, in the written order, the words ‘hear the judges’ ruling’ were not to be connected to the words ‘present himself,’ but were decoupled from them by punctuation. Therefore, since the words ‘hear the judges’ ruling,’ taken on their own, constituted a new sentence, they indeed required a new order to appear. Shaken by such a blatant wrongdoing, Asterius set his sights on revenge and, after a few days, he wrote a letter to the praetor with these words: ‘I entreat you, praetor sir, to come to my house tomorrow; dine with me.’ The next day the praetor arrived at the appointed time. Asterius said to him, ‘I thank you for coming, but the dinner is tomorrow.’ - ‘What’s this? ’ said the praetor, ‘Did you not promise me a dinner today? ’ - ‘No,’ replied Asterius. The praetor said, ‘I can show you the letter in which you invited me to dinner today.’ - ‘Let me see the letter,’ said Asterius taking it up to read it. ‘There is no error on my part, since I wrote the letter thus: I put a punctuation mark after the words ‘I 34 The kingfisher, or halcyon, was said to hatch its eggs in a period during the winter when the seas were particularly calm, a tranquil period known as the “halcyon days.” 20 21 <?page no="137"?> 138 Eudemia in Ten Books manus legit. Ac ‘Nihil,’ ait, ‘peccatum est a me, cum ita scripsi. Nam post verba illa “rogo te, ut domi meae in crastinum te sistas mihi” interpunxi, quia illa altera “ad cenandum” sunt initium novae orationis atque alium diem indicant. Quamobrem debebas exspectare novam invitationem.’ Praetor iratus, ‘Itane,’ inquit, ‘magistratus eluduntur? Haud impune hoc auferes.’ 115 - ‘Nulla,’ inquit Asterius, ‘a me tibi orta est iniuria 116 ; a te ipso hoc profectum est totum. Ecce exemplar sententiae tuae, ubi ita interpungendum esse decernis. At iura omnia clamant ut, quod quisque iuris in alterum statuerit, eodem ipse utatur.’ 117 Praetor delusus et, quod magis ipsum urebat, incenatus domum revertitur.” Risimus insulsum praetoris acumen. At ego, “Tantane,” inquam, “est apud vos penuria virorum prudentium, ut necesse habeatis haec tanta munera eiusmodi pecudibus demandare? ” At ille, “Non mirum est,” ait, “nam saepe in hac republica non virtus et merita, sed casus et gratia magistratus honoresque conciliat. Unde, doctis et illustribus praetermissis, imperitis obscurisque eius regenda potestas tribuitur.” His actis, ille ad praetorem Asterio conciliandum, nos ad stomachi frementis tumultus cibo ac potione sedandos processimus. Liber III Iam sol oceano laetus emerserat ac terras exhilaverat, toto caelo luce diffusa, cum nuntiatur Gallonio iuvenes stare ad ianuam duos quosdam, qui eum magnopere evocarent. Prodiit ille et nos una secum. Rogat quid velint. At illi, “Currendum est tibi,” inquiunt, “in aedes Democriti, amicissimi tui, curandumque aut consolando, aut consilio, aut re ut eam illi aegritudinem adimas, quae misere eum arripuit. Nam neque cenavit heri vesperi, nec proxima superiore nocte potuit partem aliquam quietis accipere. Rogatus quid aegre sibi sit, non audet dicere; tantum suspirat, illacrimat. Tu fortasse, pro amicitia quae inter vos est, poteris ex eo tantae aegritudinis causas exculpere.” Quibus Gallonius, “Nuntiate,” inquit, “Democrito nos ibi mox adfuturos.” Sed placuit Gallonio medicum arcessere et secum ad aegrotum adducere. Itaque venimus in aedes cuiusdam Aristarchi, qui, ut Gallonius narrabat, magnum in medicis nomen habebat; atque eum oppressimus contemplantem in speculo formam suam. Ac simul ut Gallonium aspexit, “Quid tibi,” ait, “haec figura oris videtur? ” - “Pape,” inquit, “nimis lepida nimisque nitida.” - “Quid corpus hoc? Vide ut est solidum, leve, succi 115 Plaut. Pers. II.iv.276: “eo istuc maledictum impune auferes.” 116 Ter. Ad. II.i.189: “tamen tibi a me nullast orta iniuria.” 117 Praetor’s Edict (Dig. 2.2): “quod quisque iuris in alterum statuerit, eodem ipse utatur.” 22 1 <?page no="138"?> Book Three 139 entreat you to come to my house tomorrow’; since the other word ‘dine’ is the beginning of a new sentence, it indicates a different day. So you should have waited for a separate invitation.’ Angered, the praetor said, ‘Is a magistrate to be mocked in this way? You will hardly get away with this unpunished.’ - ‘I have caused you no injury; this is entirely your doing. This is an example of a ruling you yourself made where you determined that it should be punctuated this way. But every law dictates that the same rule that anyone maintains against another should also be applied to himself.’ The praetor returned home ridiculed and (what angered him even more) without having dined.” We laughed at the praetor’s dull acumen. Then I said, “Is there such a shortage of prudent men here that you need to entrust these sorts of duties to dullards like him? ” Gallonius replied, “It is not surprising, since in this state it is not virtue or good deeds that win magistracies and honors, but chance and favors. Thus, since the learned and illustrious are overlooked, governing is allotted to ignorant and insignificant men.” When we were done we set off, Gallonius to reconcile Asterius with the praetor and we to alleviate the sound of our growling stomachs with food and drink. Book Three The sun had already risen joyfully from the ocean and brightened the land by diffusing its light across the entire sky, when Gallonius received the news that two young men were at the door urgently calling for him. We accompanied him as he went outside. When he asked what they wanted, they replied, “You must hurry to your good friend Democritus’s house and make sure, either by comforting him, advising him, or by some sort of action, to free him from the illness that has vehemently taken hold of him. He didn’t eat anything yesterday evening, and he didn’t get a moment’s rest the night before. When asked what the matter was, he didn’t dare say; he just sighed and wept. Perhaps, in the name of your mutual friendship, you can get him to tell you why he is so sick.” To which Gallonius replied, “Tell Democritus we will be there soon.” But Gallonius thought it best to call a doctor and bring him over to the sick man’s house. So we arrived at the home of a certain Aristarchus, who (as Gallonius informed us) was renowned among doctors, and we caught him contemplating his appearance in the mirror. As soon as he saw Gallonius, he said, “How does my face look to you? ” - “Most pleasing and handsome indeed,” replied Gallonius. “And what about my physique? See how firm, nimble, and full of energy it is? Is there any woman worthy of this body? ” - “None,” replied Gallonius. “But put that aside for the moment and listen to why we are here. We have come to 22 1 <?page no="139"?> 140 Eudemia in Ten Books plenum. Ecquae est mulier digna ad hanc formam? ” - “Nulla,” inquit Gallonius, “sed missa isthaec face et causam quae nos huc impulit accipe. Venimus ut te ad aegrotum adducamus, ex animi aegritudine paene confectum, atque illum ut sanum facias.” - “Perfacile istuc quidem est,” repondet Aristarchus, “sed non est mihi otium in praesentia; nam promisi operas meas flamini magno Liberi patris, qui iam diu laborat stomachi vitio.” Cui Gallonius, “Si est ita,” inquit, “ut dicis, in publica commoda peccem, si tibi molestus sim. 118 Vale.” Postquam discessimus, quaerimus ex Gallonio num sanus sit necne, qui ad curandum insanum eum adducendum curet, cuius caput Anticyris tribus sanari vix possit? 119 Arrisit Gallonius ac “Stultitia,” inquit, “in qua iste versatur, sane ridicula est atque faceta. Nam cum sit forma adeo, ut vidistis, enormi et inhonesta, ut monstrum potius hominis dici possit quam homo, attamen Adonidi et Paridi praestare praedicat formam suam, omnesque se ultro sectari mulieres memorat. 120 Itaque senem se esse oblitus, nihil eorum quae sunt adolescentium a se alienum existimat. Etenim amat, potat, cantat, saltat; et, quo magis miremini, canus, varus, gibbus, bucculentus, breviculus, niger, 121 fetida anima cum sit, in contentione amoris multis praeclaris adolescentibus superior evadit, non aliis armis instructus, nisi pecunia, quae cum aliis bonis quae secum affert, genus largitur et formam. Verum haec nota stultitiae multarum maximarumque virtutum excusatione defenditur. Nam est philosophus egregius, medicus, poëta, orator; et si aegrotum, quo properamus, invisat, continuo morbi genus aperiat, curationem illi morbo aptam adhibeat.” Dum haec loquimur ac ridemus, aegri illius domum venimus; intramus, videmus eum pallidum, moestum et in acerrima cogitatione defixum. Rogat Gallonius quid sit attonitus, quidve pallidus. “Quia,” inquit, “animi maerore conficior novo, incredibili, acerbo.” Rogat num magnum aliquod facinus patrasset, unde iudicium poenamque metueret. Negat. Quaerit num aes alienum tam grande conflasset, quod dissolvi non posset. Negat id quoque. Instat num pro altero spopondisset, num incendio, naufragio, ruina rei familiaris damnum fecisset. “Nihil est horum,” respondet. “Cedo,” inquit Gallonius, “quid est, quod te ita 118 Hor. Epist. II.I.3-4: “in publica commoda peccem / si longo sermone morer tua tempora, Caesar.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 1. 119 Hor. Ars P. 300: “tribus Anticyris caput insanabile numquam.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 2. 120 Plaut. Mil. III.i.777-8: “Isque Alexandri praestare praedicat formae suam, / itaque omnis se ultro sectari in Epheso memorat mulieres.” 121 Plaut. Merc. III.iv.639-40: “Canum, varum, ventriosum, bucculentum, breviculum, / subnigris oculis.” IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 3) erroneously cites Plaut. Men. as the source of these lines. 2 3 <?page no="140"?> Book Three 141 take you to a sick man, who has almost been undone by an illness of his mind, so you can heal him.” - “That would be easy enough,” replied Aristarchus, “but I don’t have time right now, since I promised my services to the head flamen of Father Liber who has been suffering from stomach problems.” - “If that is how things stand,” responded Gallonius, “I would be causing harm to the welfare of the state if I disturbed you. Goodbye.” After we took our leave, we asked Gallonius whether or not it made any sense for someone, in order to cure a sick person, to bother summoning a doctor whose own mind could hardly be cured by three Antikyras. 35 Gallonius smiled and said, “The state of stupidity in which that man dwells is indeed amusing and absurd. Though he is so irregular and so ugly in appearance, as you saw, that he can be said to be more of a monster than a man, he nevertheless boasts that he’s more handsome than Adonis and Paris, and he says that all women willingly pursue him. Forgetting that he’s an old man, he doesn’t consider any youthful activities to be off-limits to him. He loves, drinks, sings, dances, and although he is gray-haired, knock-kneed, hunchbacked, big-mouthed, stocky, dark, and has bad breath, he (amazingly) bests many excellent young men in the contest of love, his only weapon being money, which, along with his other assets, improves both his social standing and his looks. He can be excused for this mark of folly on account of his many great virtues, for he is an eminent philosopher, physician, poet, and orator, and if he did visit this sick person, whom we are on our way to see, he would immediately diagnose what kind of illness he has and would prescribe a fitting cure for it.” While we were discussing these things and laughing, we arrived at the sick man’s house. We entered and saw him looking pale, gloomy, and actively deep in thought. Gallonius asked him why he was so confounded and pale. “Because,” he replied, “I am consumed by an extraordinary, unparalleled, and bitter grief in my soul.” Gallonius asked whether he had committed some serious crime for which he feared receiving judgment and punishment. He said he had not. Gallonius asked whether he had incurred a debt so large that he couldn’t pay it off. He denied this as well. Gallonius pressed him, inquiring whether he had cosigned a loan for another person, or whether he had suffered a loss of his family’s estate because of fire, shipwreck, or catastrophe. “It is nothing of the sort,” he responded. “Out with it,” said Gallonius. “What is causing you to be so miserable? ” - “It’s simply that I feel like old age is already upon me and, as a consequence, that death is at hand. This worry has penetrated so deeply into my 35 Antikyra: a town on the coast of Phocis (a region of ancient Greece) famous for hellebore, a plant that was supposed to cure madness. 2 3 <?page no="141"?> 142 Eudemia in Ten Books miserum habet? ” - “Illud, ait, “quod mihi senectutem instare iam sentio et, quod est consequens, mortem esse in propinquo. Haec cura tam alte mihi in animo insedit, ut extrahi nequeat. Ita eum acriter urget, ut sedari non possit.” Tum Gallonius exclamat, “Abi hinc, quo dignus es 122 cum ista tua tam insulsa stultitia. Profecto si de omnibus stultis, qui ubique terrarum sunt, rex fiat, nemo antecedat, credo, tibi.” - “Nunc enimvero,” excepit ille, “adigis tu homo me ad insaniam. 123 Tune insanire vocas, incommoda senectutis expendere, 124 necessitatem consequentis mortis horrere? ” At Gallonius, “Dic,” inquit, “mihi quid solicitudine ista curaque proficias? Num te propterea senectuti mortique surripias? Ut te excrucies, torqueas, ut miserorum miserrimum facias, ne minimam quidem senectuti mortique moram inicies, quin etiam utramque maturiorem efficies. Cur ergo gratis miser esse vis? Quin tu solicitudinem istam, quae te excruciat, omitte et dona praesentis cape laetus horae.” 125 - “Quid potest esse mihi laetum,” excepit ille, “exitum meum cogitanti? Me miserum, cum memini iam iam fore cum ego propius sim abfuturus a morte.” - “Quid si te,” inquit Gallonius, “mors antea quam senectus oppresserit? Cui enim est exploratum se ad vesperam esse victurum? ” - “Ut libet,” inquit ille. “Quin, si me audiet, iam veniet atque his angoribus animum exuet.” “O dignum,” Gallonius exclamat, “cui crassae compedes impingantur! 126 Quod metuis, cupis; quo solicitaris, inde finem solicitudinum speras. Primum hoc expedi: utrum mortem in rebus bonis an in malis ducis? Si in bonis, quid metuis? Si in malis, quid eandem finem malorum facis? Non potest ea res numerari in malis, quae cetera etiam mala dissolvat. Ita me Iuppiter amat, ut tuarum miseret fortunarum; et, quoniam tibi insaniendum erat, aliquod saltem stultitiae genus contigisset laetum, festivum, exhilaratum. Ita enim et tibi laetitiam quaereres et nobis ludos parares, non autem utrisque molestiam, ut nunc facis, afferres.” Tum ille, “Derides me? ” inquit. “Quid? Tu solus ita es sapiens, ut omni stultitia propemodum careas? Erras. Nulla est sapientia tam magna, quae omni prorsus administratione stultitiae vacet.” Cui Gallonius, “Ut istuc,” inquit, “tibi concedam. Iam meae me stultitiae, cuiusmodi ea sit in qua nunc versor, non paenitet, cum alios nequiori, molestiori saltem genere stultitiae implicatos aspiciam. At si pergis ineptus esse, non video qui modus, aut qui 127 finis stultitiae tuae futurus 122 Ter. Haut. IV.vi.813: “I tu hinc quo dignus es.” 123 Ter. Ad. I.ii.111: “Pro Iupiter! tu homo adigis me ad insaniam.” 124 enpendere 1645 125 Hor. Carm. III.8.27-8: “dona praesentis cape laetus horae / linque severa.” 126 Plaut. Capt. III.v.734: “iubete huic crassas compedes impingier”; ibid. Pers. IV.iv.573: “ferreas tute tibi impingi iubeas crassas compedis.” 127 quis … quis 1637 4 <?page no="142"?> Book Three 143 thoughts that I cannot shake it. It’s pressing so hard on my mind that I can find no relief.” Then Gallonius exclaimed, “Off with you to where you deserve to go with that absurd foolishness of yours! Certainly, if there were a king of all idiots who ever existed anywhere on earth, in my opinion nobody would surpass you.” The man took exception to this, “To be sure, it is now you, sir, who are driving me mad. Do you consider it insane to ponder the troubles of old age and to tremble at the inevitability of death that follows? ” Gallonius replied, “Tell me, what do you accomplish by worrying and fretting? Do you avoid old age and death because of it? You can torment and torture yourself all you want and make yourself the most miserable of all miserable men, but you aren’t delaying old age even the slightest bit; rather you are bringing old age and death on sooner. So why do you insist on being miserable when there is no point to it? Why don’t you put aside this worry that is tormenting you and happily grasp the gifts of the present moment? ” - “How can I be happy while thinking about my death? ” he protested. “Woe is me, whenever I remember that the time will soon be upon me when I am at death’s door.” - “What if death takes you before you reach old age? ” asked Gallonius. “Who can ever be sure of living until evening? ” - “You’re right,” the man said. “Indeed, if death can hear me, let him come free my mind of this anguish.” Gallonius exclaimed, “You deserve to be placed in heavy shackles! You want what you fear, and you hope that what is causing you worry will put an end to your worries. First of all, tell me whether you consider death to be good or bad. If it’s good, why are you afraid of it? If it’s bad, why do you think it will put an end to bad things? A thing cannot be considered bad if it puts an end to bad things. By Jove, how I pity your foolishness; and, since you were bound to go insane, I only wish it had been a happy, witty, and cheerful sort of insanity that befell you. You should therefore pursue happiness for yourself and prepare entertainments for us, instead of creating trouble for us both, as you are currently doing.” Then the man said, “Are you mocking me? Why? Are you the only one who is of such sound mind that you lack just about any trace of foolishness? You are mistaken. No intelligence is so great that it doesn’t leave room for some measure of foolishness.” Gallonius answered him, saying, “I concede the point to you. Moreover, I do not regret my own foolishness, whatever sort it is that I currently dwell in, since I observe that others are gripped by an even more wretched and troublesome sort of foolishness. But if you persist in your foolishness, I don’t see what limit or end there will be to your stupidity. Although time heals other illnesses, the sickness that involves your getting older will grow greater by the day; and as much as is added to your years, that same amount will also be added to your pointless distress.” Then the man said, “Leave me to my misery and don’t add to the troubles my illness is already causing.” Gallonius 4 <?page no="143"?> 144 Eudemia in Ten Books sit. Etenim aegritudines alias dies adimit, 128 haec, quae de aetate praetereunte tibi aegritudo est, augescet quotidie magis; et quantum tibi ad annos addetur, tantundem etiam ad istam tam ineptam molestiam accesserit.” Tum ille, “Sine,” ait, “me esse miserum neque, praeterquam quas isthaec aegritudo molestias habet, addas.” - “Quoniam,” inquit Gallonius, “tibi molesti intervenimus, geremus morem. Abibimus. At moneo ne me posthac accersiri iubeas. Nam frustra iusseris ac, si miseriis delectaris, deos oro ut perpetuo sis miser.” Nec plura locutus, se foras eiecit atque ad demonstranda nobis praecipua urbis loca convertit, aedes videlicet sacras, theatra, porticus, fora, gymnasia, domus privatas. Quarum una, ampla sane atque magnifica, in fronte grandibus notis incisa, praeferebat haec verba: Dominus domus iis, quorum operam sibi conducit, praeter mercedem neque beneficium, neque gratiam, neque pecuniam largitur. Hoc illis esse praedictum vult, ne postea se fuisse deceptos querantur. Tum ego, “Laudo,” inquam, “liberum et apertum ingenium hominis, qui neminem vana spe captum patitur apud se operam perdere.” At “Tum magis id dicas,” inquit Gallonius, “si scias quemadmodum servet in eo, quod promiserit, fidem. Sed quamquam totum se prodat, ut vides, attamen, si emanet in vulgus desiderari aliquem in eius familia, incredibile memoratu est quam multi etiam locupletes ac domi nobiles eum locum quaesitum adveniant. Adeo dynastarum nomen hic sanctum habetur, ut sibi quisque honestum putet, sine ulla spe, sese illis in servitutem dicare. Verum quem in hanc domum sive voluntas sive casus impellit, huic omnes putant et fortunam atque omnes res bonas esse adversas.” Haec dicentem luctus et clamor ingens interpellavit. Conversi videmus scrutarium in Foro Cupidinis scruta popello vendentem 129 : Qui miser horrisonis implebat questibus auras, dilacerans saeva pectora nuda manu; filius, et tristi flebant cum fratre sorores; latrabat tumida maxima voce canis. Ipse videbatur Brennus crudeliter ignem 5 128 Ter. Haut. III.i.422: “quod vulgo audio / Dici, diem adimere aegritudinem hominibus.” 129 Hor. Epist. I.VII.64-5: “Volteium mane Philippus / vilia vendentem tunicato scruta popello / occupat.” 5 6 7 8 9 <?page no="144"?> Book Three 145 responded, “Since we have troubled you with our interruption, we will do as you wish; we will take our leave. But I caution you not to send for me in the future, because you will have summoned me in vain. If you delight in misery, I pray to the gods that you will always be miserable.” Without saying another word, Gallonius saw himself out and turned his attention to showing us the important sites of the city, namely shrines, theaters, colonnades, forums, gymnasiums, and private homes. One of these homes was large and stately indeed and displayed the following words out front carved in large letters: The master of this house bestows no benefit, favor, or money on those who work here, other than their pay. Let this be stated in advance lest they later complain that they have been deceived. To which I remarked, “I praise the frank and open nature of a man who doesn’t tolerate anyone gripped by some vain hope wasting his time with him.” Gallonius replied, “You would be even more convinced of that if you knew how well he keeps his promises. Although, as you see, he openly reveals his true self, nevertheless it is incredible to recount how many rich people from noble households seek this house out whenever word gets around that his household is in need of staff. The dynasts are so revered here that everyone thinks it an honor to dedicate himself to their service, even without such hope. Everyone believes, however, that both fortune and prosperity conspire against whomever either his own will or fate propels to join this household.” A cry of grief interrupted him as he was speaking and, when we turned around, we saw a rag seller in the Forum of Cupid selling his cheap wares to the crowd: This poor man was filling the air with dreadful-sounding complaints and rending his bare chest with his fierce hand; his son was weeping, as were his daughters with their sad brother; his dog was furiously barking at the top of its lungs. It seemed as if fierce Brennus himself had cruelly set fire to Roman houses 36 or that Troy and the ancient riches of Priam’s father, King of Troy, was overcome by the trickery and the sword of the Greeks and the Dolopes. 37 Then, because there has been entirely too much commotion, the entire neighborhood protests and rushes to offer help to the afflicted man 36 Brennus was the chieftain of a Gallic tribe who led an army of Gauls to sack Rome. They captured most of the city and held it for several months, setting many buildings on fire. 37 A tribe of peoples who lived in a mountainous district of Thessaly. 5 6 7 8 9 <?page no="145"?> 146 Eudemia in Ten Books Romulidum 130 tectis supposuisse ferox, vel Danaum Dolopumve dolis consternere ferro Pergama et antiquas Laomedontis 131 opes. Tum commota nimis vicinia tota reclamat, currit, ut afflicto sedula praestat opem, 10 atque, “Ubi sunt fures? Ubi pessima turba, latrones,” inquit, “quique tuam diripuere domum? ” Quid misero inveniunt tantos conflasse tumultus? Quadrantem, furax quem puer abstulerat. Neque aderat uxor in turba lugentium. Nam eam domi inclusam contineri aiebant cum institore nescio quo, quem, conscio marito, ipsa sibi custodem corporis sui et socium adiunxerat; idque propter nescio quam timiditatem et inanes quosdam metus, a quibus verebatur ne, dum maritus in foro mercenariis vinculis 132 constrictus erat, corriperetur; quamobrem nihil magis quam solitudinem horrebat. At institor, scrutarii vocibus excitatus, sane commotus est atque aegre a mulieris latere avulsus accurrit in forum, ut contubernali suo, quemadmodum uxorem, ita facultates atque animam tueretur. Venit igitur, in turbam se inserit, causam tumultus exquirit; reperit quadrantem furto sublatum totam illam turbam conflasse. Quamobrem, magna cura liberatus, detractam sibi e crumena drachmam scrutario tradit, qui laetus pro quadrante subrogatam sibi drachmam fuisse, ad intermissa negotia se recipit. Ille ad mulieris meticulosae custodiam regreditur. Erat ex adverso adolescens filius familias, mulieris eiusdem amore deperditus, sed patris parsimonia et lex quinavicenaria 133 ut nihil esset quod daretur, id curaverant probe. Restabat nihil aliud, nisi oculos pascere, sectari, in templa deorum ducere et reducere. Neque tam erat ipsi molestum carere muliere quam acerbum alterum ea potiri; et, si daretur optio, vel totam optasset aetatem sine illa vivere quam pati eandem unum diem esse cum altero. Quocirca, ab amore 130 Romulidae: descendents of Romulus, that is, the Romans. 131 Father of Priam and Ganymede, King of Troy. 132 Hor. Epist. I.VII.66-7: “ille Philippo / excusare laborem et mercenaria vincla.” 133 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 5) refers to Plaut. Pseud. I.iii.303-4: “Perii! Annorum lex me perdit quinavicenaria. / Metuont credere omnes.” 10 11 <?page no="146"?> Book Three 147 asking: ‘Where are the thieves? Where is the horrible mob, the robbers who plundered your home? ’ What did they find that ignited such chaos in that poor man? A quarter of an as, which a thieving boy carried off. The rag seller’s wife was not among the crowd of complainers. They were saying that she was keeping herself locked up in her home with some shopkeeper whom she, with her husband’s knowledge, had retained for herself as a bodyguard and companion; and that she had done so because of some unspecified fear, or certain unfounded anxieties, which she was afraid would take hold of her while her husband was tied up with his business commitments in the forum. Because of this, she feared nothing more than being alone. But the shopkeeper, aroused by the rag seller’s cries, was agitated indeed and, reluctantly torn away from the woman’s side, he ran to the forum to guard his colleague’s property and life, just as he had been protecting his colleague’s wife. He arrived, pushed himself into the crowd, inquired about the cause of the disturbance, and discovered that this whole crowd of people had formed because a thief had made off with a quarter of an as. Therefore, freed from a great worry, he fished a drachma out of his purse and gave it to the rag seller. Happy that his quadrans had been replaced by a drachma, the rag seller returned to his interrupted work, and the shopkeeper returned to guarding the fearful wife. On the other flank was a young man, still under his father’s legal control, who was desperately in love with the same man’s wife; but his father’s stinginess and the lex quinavicenaria 38 rightly ensured that he had nothing to offer her. He had no other option than to feast his eyes on her, follow her, and accompany her to and from the temples of the gods. And it didn’t so much annoy him that the woman was not his, as much as it irked him that she belonged to another. If given the choice, he would have opted to live his entire life without her rather than to endure her spending a single day with the other man. For this reason, beset simultaneously by love and jealousy, he kept trying to lead the rag seller to 38 In Roman law, sons could not legally enter into contracts until twenty-five years of age. 10 11 <?page no="147"?> 148 Eudemia in Ten Books ac zelotypia simul oppugnatus, rivalem suum apud scrutarium his verbis in suspicionem adulterii conabatur adducere, odio suo pietatis praeferens speciem: “Quae nova simplicitas haec est ridendave, coniux, uxori moechum conciliare tuae? 134 Nonne externa tuo cernis vestigia lecto, cum reducem vesper te facit esse domi? Hoc ait et rumor. Non sentis murmura, et omnes 5 conversos oculos in tua probra vides? Quis tam stultus adest, vel tam sine pectore amator, tempora qui frustra commoda abire sinat? Dum properat Cretem ventis dare vela secundis coniux, Tyndaridem Troicus hospes habet. 135 10 Si facit egregia uxoris te forma timere, illam crede mihi; sic, bone, tutus eris. In longas poteris quamvis proficiscier oras, iam non insidias sit timuisse tibi. Ante meum potius caput hac cervice recedet, 136 15 quam violet thalami foedera casta tui. Non pudet excubias me cara ad limina semper ducere, non rixas inseruisse piget 137 ; aspera non hiemis incommoda ferre recuso, non fessum nuda ponere corpus humo, 20 seu gelidus rapidis aquilonibus intonet aether, seu subitus multa decidat imber aqua. 134 uxori … suae 1637, 1645. The emendation to tuae is from the corrigenda in 1645. 135 IJsewijn’s note here (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 6) reads “Cf. de Menealo Creten petente, et Helena: Posthomerica Cypria.” In l. 9-12 of this poem there are echoes of Ov. Her. XVII.159-63 (from Helen to Paris): “resque domusque / et tibi sit curae Troicus hospes, ait. / vix tenui risum, quem dum conpescere luctor, / nil illi potui dicere praeter erit. / vela quidem Creten ventis dedit ille secundis.” 136 Ov. Pont. II.VIII.65-7: “nam caput e nostra citius cervice recedet, / et patiar fossis lumen abire genis, / quam caream raptis, O publica numina, vobis.” 137 Tib I.I.73-4: “nunc levis est tractanda venus, dum frangere postes / non pudet et rixas inseruisse iuvat.” 12 <?page no="148"?> Book Three 149 suspect his rival of adultery. He used these words preferring to present himself as righteous rather than hateful: “What strange and laughable naiveté is this, husband, to place your wife and her lover together? When evening beckons you home, don’t you see the traces of this stranger in your bed? Everyone is talking about it. Don’t you hear the gossip? Don’t you see that everyone’s eyes are focused on your shame? What a stupid and gutless lover would one be to allow convenient meeting times to slip away in vain. The Trojan guest laid claim to the daughter of Tyndareus 39 while her husband hurried to set sail for Crete with favorable winds. But if your wife’s beauty frightens you, entrust her to me. Only then, my good man, will you be safe. You will be able to set out for whatever faraway lands you wish, and you shall fear no treachery. My head will sooner leave this neck of mine than violate your sacred marriage. It is not beneath me to keep perpetual watch outside your dear doorway; I am not reluctant to get into a fight. Whether the freezing air resounds with the swift North winds, or a sudden rainstorm pours down copious water, I am not unwilling to bear the harsh inconveniences of winter, nor am I unwilling to lay my tired body upon the bare ground. My drawn sword will guard my side, and my sense of duty will be no less than my long-lasting effort. Wherever she goes, I will follow her, whether she expresses a wish to visit the temples of the gods or to return home.” 39 Helen of Troy. 12 <?page no="149"?> 150 Eudemia in Ten Books Ipse aderit lateri custos mihi bellicus ensis, 138 nec fiet longo cura labore minor. Quaque feret gressus, sequar hanc, seu templa deorum 25 visere, seu dicet velle redire domum.” Non est passus scrutarius plura eum loqui, sed, “Una,” inquit, “opera duorum labori parcam: tui dicendi, mei auscultandi. Tua isthaec magnifica verba atque promissa non pluris facio quam plumas avium papposque volantes. Etenim ne uno quidem nummo ditiorem mihi crumenam efficiunt. Nihil mihi opus est eo, qui uxori meae latus ab externis viris muniat. Nam istorum defensorum abunde est domi. Sed opus est eo, qui pecuniam et commeatum defensoribus afferat. Atque (ut tu noris) ille quem tu mihi invisum facere properas, cum domum meam venit, non solus ingreditur, sed commeant cum eo vel pecuniae sacculi, vel tritici acervi, vel carnaria, vel casei, vel utres olivi. Itaque, dum mihi sic usui est, illi maneat potius; tu aliam quam tuearis, exquire. Nam istiusmodi custodes, tui similes, nihil moror.” Atque eodem tempore quo adolescenti illuderet, terga obvertit. Tum Gallonius, “Censeo,” inquit, “domum eamus. Nam est in animo vos a prandio viri cuiusdam nobilis domum adducere, quo quintodecimo quoque die eruditi complures tum exercendi, tum declarandi ingenii causa conveniunt. Verum quod ad virum istum nobilem attinet, nolite existimare quidquam ipso perfectius existere vel in corporis vel in animi dotibus. Nam puer, omnium aetatis suae multo formosissimus, 139 doctorum hominum familiaritates expetiit, adeptas constantissime tenuit; et usque adeo eorum exercitationibus deditus est, ut unum ex illis corpus, nomine Academiae nuncupatum, cogendum constituendumque curaverit. Et quia nullum potest corpus sine capite coalere, praefectus est illi unus, qui tamquam membris caput inhaereat; atque hodie ex vetere eorum instituto convenire frequentissimi debent in eius aedes. Ubi etiam binos eius liberos videbitis aetate, ingenio ac forma praestantes, sed magis sapientia ac probitate conspicuos. Non enim eos parens ad hunc morem, qui nunc increbuit, sed ad veterem disciplinam, optimam sanctissimamque, instituit. Quo fit ut nullis iidem vitiis affines inveniantur quae secum fert adolescentia, sed omnis in eis eximia ac digna homine nobili doctrina laudetur, qui a gravioribus exercitationibus tanquam ab opere feriati, non tradunt se languori ac voluptatibus, sed in haec amoenissima studia, tanquam in hortos, et ad hanc animi remissionem 138 bellicus ensis: drawn (i.e., battle-ready) sword; cf Ov. Met. III.534. 139 Similar to the description of Alcibiades in Nep. Milt. VII.1: “Natus in amplissima civitate summo genere, omnium aetatis suae multo formosissimus.” 13 14 <?page no="150"?> Book Three 151 The rag seller didn’t tolerate him speaking any longer, but said, “With a single action, I will put an end to the efforts of two people: you talking, and me listening. I don’t put any more stock in your fancy words and promises than I do in bird feathers or dandelion seeds. They won’t make me even one penny richer. I don’t need anyone guarding my wife’s side from strange men because my house is overflowing with such guards. But I do need someone to bring those guards money and provisions. And, as you know, when that man you are trying to make me jealous of comes to my house, he never shows up empty-handed; he brings with him either sacks of money, piles of wheat, meats, cheeses, or bottles of olive oil. Therefore, as long as he is useful to me, I’d rather he stay. You can go look for someone else to guard; I have no use for guards like you.” While he was making fun of the young man, he turned his back on him. Gallonius then said, “I think we should go home because after lunch I plan to take you to the house of a certain nobleman where, every fortnight, many learned men gather to practice and show off their talents. But, in regard to that nobleman, do not suppose that there is anyone more perfect than he in terms of physical or mental qualities. As a boy he was by far the most handsome of his generation; he sought out friendships with scholars, which, once obtained, he maintained faithfully. He was so devoted to the intellectual practice of those men that he saw fit to convene and establish out of that group an organization called the Academy. 40 Since no body can sustain itself without a head, a single person was put in charge of the Academy, who was connected to it like the head is to the limbs. According to their long-standing tradition, these learned men are bound, even today, to convene at this nobleman’s home, where you will also see his two sons who are outstanding in age, intelligence, and beauty, but even more striking in their wisdom and uprightness. Their father did not raise them according to the habits that are currently in vogue, but according to the best and most venerable traditional education. As a result the boys are never found partaking in any of the vices that are typically associated with adolescence. Instead their entire education is lauded as exemplary and worthy of a nobleman who, at leisure from more trying tasks, as if from work, does not give himself over to listlessness and pleasures, but devotes himself instead to these 40 A reference to the Academia Humoristarum (Accademia degli Umoristi). 13 14 <?page no="151"?> 152 Eudemia in Ten Books liberalissimam conferunt. Quo die hic litteratorum conventus convocatur, eorum unus, qui eas sibi partes accepit, cathedram ascendit ac ceteris academicis, paulo infra sedentibus, vel solutam orationem, vel carmen, vel eiusmodi aliquid dignum eruditis auribus profert. Transactis iam eius partibus, Princeps Academiae a singulis academicis vel odas, vel epigrammata tanquam collectam a convivis exigit, 140 qui clara voce quidquid nuper ingenio pepererunt exponunt. Vos igitur, his studiis elegantissimis deditos, illuc adducam, quo aditus omnibus patet. Sed interea domi meae sedete tantisper, dum redeam exspectantes. Nam promere quae opus sunt debeo dynastae meo, ut sit paratum prandium; tum nos etiam de reliquiis prandebimus.” Ille it, redit. Sed in redeundo quidam ipsi notus occurrit et lateri adhaesit neque, cum domum iam pervenisset, potuit eum a se divellere, sed pertinaciter haerens, “Prandebo,” inquit, “apud te hodie.” Gallonius dissimulans, “Derides me,” ait, “ac ludis ludo tuo 141 ; dispeream si sim obsonatus ex tuis meritis.” Ille, “Nihil agis,” inquit. “Vocata res est 142 ; hic sim hodie oportet.” Ac eadem opera pallium posuit, et gladium quo erat succinctus et soleas exuit, et accubitum ivit. Gallonius, ut contendere durum est cum victore, 143 manus dat, cedit atque, “Ut lubet,” inquit, “sed ita familiariter accipiere, ut te huc venisse poeniteat.” Ac ne eum videretur invitus recepisse, frontem exprompsit et ad hilaritatem animum dedit. Sed videre erat illius inhonestatem et aviditatem cibi, quemadmodum unumquodque quod erat bellissimum raperet, in os mitteret, voraret, ut se vino impleret. Postquam pransus et appotus est probe, deducit pedes de lecto, soleas induit, pallium et gladium repetit ac lateri humeroque componit, salutatoque Gallonio discessit. Eo egresso, variis sermonibus pomeridianum illud tempus fefellimus. Sed ego, admiratus hominis impudentiam ac voracitatem, me continere non potui quin quaererem de Gallonio quid illic hominis esset, qui tanta vi expugnatum aliena prandia veniret. Qui ait, “Ex hoc eodem est oppido, eidemque dynastae cui ego operas suas locavit. Sed eiusmodi homines, qui versantur in aulis, si ex facie atque ex ornatu corporis aestimes, tibi videbuntur esse 140 Cic. De or. II. LVII.233: “quoniam conlectam a conviva, Crasse, exigis.” 141 Plaut. Pseud. I.i.24: “Ludis iam ludo tuo? ” 142 The Plautine phrases vocata res (e.g., Curc. IV.iv.563) and vocata opera (e.g., Stich. 3.2.472) have been corrected in modern editions to locata res and locata opera (see Plautus and de Melo 2011-13). Earlier editions have vocata in both of these phrases (see Plautus and Weise 1847). 143 Hor. Sat. I.IX.42-3: “ego, ut contendere durum / cum victore, sequor.” Rossi’s use of Horace’s satire is appropriate here because it has a similar theme of trying to shake off an annoying hanger-on. 15 <?page no="152"?> Book Three 153 most delightful studies, as if entering a garden, and to this most noble form of diversion. On the days that this gathering of learned men is convened, one of them, who has assumed that role, comes up to the podium and recites, before the other Academy members who are seated just below him, a passage of prose, a poem, or something of that sort that is worthy of learned ears. After he has done his part, the Prince of the Academy solicits, from each of the Academy members, songs or epigrams, as if exacting payment from a dinner guest, and they recite aloud something they have just composed on the spot. I will bring you along with me, since the two of you are devoted to this most tasteful kind of study, and everyone is welcome. But for now, in the meantime, make yourselves at home and wait for me to return. I have to bring my dynast some things he needs so his lunch can be prepared. We will have his leftovers for lunch later.” Gallonius left and came back. On his way back, he had run into someone he knew, who had clung to his side; and Gallonius had not been able to shake him off, even though he had already arrived home. Holding fast to him the man said, “I will be eating lunch at your house today.” Disregarding him, Gallonius said, “You must be joking and making fun of me. I’ll be darned if I went shopping for your sake.” - “Nice try! ” he replied. “It’s all set; I am meant to be here today.” As he was talking, he put down his coat, removed his sword from around his waist, took off his shoes, and went to recline at the table. Gallonius (it’s tough to keep fighting once you have been defeated) threw up his hands, gave in, and said, “Have it your way. But you will be received in such an informal manner that you will regret having come.” So that it wouldn’t seem as if Gallonius was inviting him against his will, the man doffed his hat and started laughing. The man’s dishonesty and greed were evident in the way he grabbed every single thing that looked best, shoved it in his mouth, devoured it, and filled himself with wine. After he had eaten his fill and gotten himself well and truly drunk, he took his feet off the couch, put his shoes on, asked for his cloak and sword, arranged them around his waist and on his shoulder, and, after bidding farewell to Gallonius, he left. After he had gone, we passed the afternoon in conversation on various topics. Admiring the impudence and voracity of the man, I couldn’t contain myself from asking Gallonius what sort of man would come over to destroy another person’s meal with such force. Gallonius replied, “He is from this very town and contracts his services to the same dynast as I do. But if you judge men like that, who spend time at court, by their appearance and dress, they seem to have a lot of money; but if you take a look at their bank account, you find that they are emptier than a hollow nut. I put up with him weaseling this lunch out of me more out of a sense of pity than because I felt forced to. Maybe that poor man had nothing to eat at home. Since we have relaxed enough, I think we should set off to where we planned to go.” 15 <?page no="153"?> 154 Eudemia in Ten Books quantivis precii; si ex censu, 144 cassa nuce inaniores invenies. 145 Ego magis misericordia quam aliqua vi adductus, hoc a me prandium extorqueri sum passus. Nam fortasse misero nihil erat domi quod esset. Sed quoniam satis quievimus, abeamus, censeo, quo nos ituros constituimus.” Ac brevi anfractu in illius viri nobilis domum pervenimus. Erat enim sita in ea urbis parte, quae colitur et habitatur frequentissime, quaque certis horis ultro citroque commeare animi causa omnis fere nobilitas solet. In aedium fronte domini earum nomen grandibus litteris erat incisum: Lucius Minucius Sinister. Adeuntibus fons in medio viridarii elegantissimi positus obiciebatur. Pegasus, factus e marmore, Phoebo Musisque circundatus, pede terram feriens, magnam vim aquarum in altum excitabat. In cuius basi legebatur hoc epigramma, in honorem domini ab Arido academico factum: Hic, ubi dulce sonat cygnorum cantibus aether atque Helicona novum Lucius instituit, conspicuum late fontem salientibus undis durus Pegasei suscitat unguis equi; ut sit ubi dominum tollatis in aethera, Musae, 5 et testudinea, Phoebe superbe, lyra, quilibet insolito premeretur pondere, vestrae, Phoebe et Pierides, hoc erat artis opus. Postquam ea amoenitate ac pulchritudine satis oculos pavimus, venimus in aulam, tabulis pictis undique ornatam ac refertam, in quibus primum tutelaris Academiae deus colebatur. Tum in altera tabula multis virgo voluminibus insidens conspiciebatur, in cuius dextera tuba haerebat, simiaeque demortuae duae iacebant ad pedes. In virgine Academia referebatur; in simiis autem extinctis academiae itidem duae significabantur, quae ad aemulationem illius infelicibus ortae auspiciis brevi perierant. Ab utraque parte duorum illustrium academicorum imagines ad vivum expressae pendebant. Quorum alter, Bellino nomine, insignem eclogam edidit, quae hodie ab omnibus legitur; alter vero, Thalassicus appellatus, multa optimorum versuum volumina scripsit et in his 144 Cic. QRosc. XIV.42: “Quem tu si ex censu spectas, eques Romanus est, si ex vita, homo clarissimus est.” 145 Hor. Sat. II.V.36: “eripiet quivis oculos citius mihi quam te / contemptum cassa nuce pauperet.” 16 17 18 <?page no="154"?> Book Three 155 We arrived at the nobleman’s house in no time. It was situated in the most crowded and densely inhabited part of the city where, during certain hours of the day, most members of the nobility bustle about to and fro for their own amusement. The name of the master of the house was carved in capital letters on the front of the house: Lucius Minucius Sinister. A fountain stood before us as we entered, situated in the middle of a most elegant garden. A figure of Pegasus, carved out of marble and flanked by Phoebus and the Muses, was beating the earth with its hoof and sending a large quantity of water up into the air. 41 There was an inscription at the base of this sculpture, written by the scholar Aridus, in honor of the master of the house: That there may be a place here—where the air resounds sweetly with swan song, where Lucius establishes a new Helicon, 42 and where Pegasus’s hard hoof brings forth a spring, famous for its leaping waters—where you, Muses, and you, proud Phoebus with your tortoiseshell lyre, may raise your master to the heavens, whenever he is oppressed by an extraordinary burden: this is the purpose of your art, Phoebus and Pierides. After we had sufficiently feasted our eyes on that pleasing and beautiful sight, we arrived in a great hall that was decorated and filled on all sides with paintings first honoring the Academy’s tutelary deity. 43 Then another painting depicted a virgin sitting atop many books, holding a trumpet in her left hand, and with two dead monkeys lying at her feet. The virgin represented the Academy, and the dead monkeys likewise represented two academies that had been established to emulate the Academy, but had died out in short order having come into being under unlucky auspices. 44 On either side hung portraits, painted from 41 Reference to Hippocrene, a spring on Mount Helicon that was formed by the hooves of Pegasus. 42 Mount Helicon, located in Boeotia, Greece, was sacred to Apollo and the Muses. 43 The patron saint of the real Accademia degli Umoristi was Gregory the Great. 44 Gerboni (1899: 121) identifies one of these defunct academies as the short-lived Accademia degli Ordinati founded in 1608 by Giulio Strozzi in “ostile contrapposizione a quella 16 17 18 <?page no="155"?> 156 Eudemia in Ten Books fabulam Adonidis egregio poëmate cecinit. Erant autem omnes hae tabulae inaurata corona vestitae. Supra suggestum, academicis dicturis extructum, ad quod duplici scalarum ordine ascenditur, insigne Academiae, Arpinatis pictoris nobilissimi manu depictum, inhaeret. Reliquos parietes singulorum academicorum insignia vestiunt atque ornant. Sunt autem insignia apud eos similitudines quaedam, quibus unusquisque utilitatem quam ex academicis exercitationibus percipit, addito aliquo brevi dicto, exponere atque oculis paene ipsis subicere conatur. At erant ita apta, ita venusta, ut eorum cognitione nequaquam animum satiare atque oculos explere possemus. Sed quia audiendi gratia concursus fiebant, veriti ne, dum otiose spectamus, sedilia complerentur, sessum ivimus. Ubi oculos in se nostros macilentus quidam ac natu grandis attraxit, qui hac atque illac concursans, hunc rogabat ut accederet, illi in aurem loquebatur, alium ducebat sessum, alii obviam ibat, neque ullam partem quietis accipiebat. Quaero quisnam sit ille adeo negotiosus, adeo irrequietus, qui nusquam consistat. Respondet Gallonius illum esse Salvium Tifernatem quendam, Lucii Minucii contubernalem, cuius solicitudini diligentiaeque Academiae universae pondus incumbat: uno verbo, eum esse Academiae τὰ πάντα; eiusque in primis studium laudari in eo, quod litteratos omnes inquirat, agnoscat, amicitia comprehendat, obsequio tueatur, 146 officiis beneficiisque omnibus sibi devinciat. Quamobrem, dum aliena negotia curat, sua negligit, prope ad egestatem redactus est. Sed constans est omnium opinio, hanc hodie Academiam stare opera ac diligentia quam praestat. Ille enim crebro academici uniuscuiusque domum salutandi gratia venire, ille eos in hunc locum ducere, domum reducere; ille solus perficere ut huic coetui litteratorum numerus neque frequentia desideretur. 146 Cic. Cael. VI.13: “in illo homine mirabilia fuerunt, comprehendere multos amicitia, tueri obsequio, cum omnibus communicare.” 19 <?page no="156"?> Book Three 157 life, of two illustrious Academy members, one of whom, Bellinus, had published a famous eclogue that everybody reads today; and the other, Thalassicus, had composed many books of excellent verses, in which he celebrated the story of Adonis in an outstanding poem. All of these paintings were adorned with gold wreaths. Above the dais—which was built for the Academy members to declaim and was accessed via a staircase on either side—hung the emblem of the Academy painted by the celebrated hand of the artist Arpinas. Emblems of individual Academy members covered and decorated the rest of the walls. Their emblems were images through which, with the addition of a brief motto, each Academy member endeavored to demonstrate and call attention to the benefits accrued to him from his academic contributions. The emblems were so fitting and so elegant that there was no way we could sate or fill our spirits and our eyes by examining them. 45 Because people were starting to gather in order to listen, we went and sat down, fearing that the seats would fill up while we were just standing there looking on. At which point a certain wizened old man caught our eye. He was running back and forth, asking this person to come in, talking in that person’s ear, directing another person to sit down, intercepting another person, and not pausing at all to rest. I asked who that man was, who was so busy and restless that he didn’t stand still anywhere. Gallonius told me that he was a certain Salvius Tifernas, a colleague of Lucius Minucius, upon whose care and diligence the weight of the entire Academy rested. In a word, he was to the Academy τὰ πάντα (everything). He told me that Tifernas was praised above all for the enthusiasm with which he sought out and recognized each scholar, embraced him in friendship, maintained each one’s regard for him through his attentiveness, and obligated everyone to himself with his services and favors. Because of this he neglected his own affairs, while taking care of everyone else’s, and was just about reduced to poverty. But it is everyone’s firm opinion that it was thanks to his effort and diligence that this Academy has flourished today. He frequently goes around to the house of every single Academy member to greet him, bring degli Umoristi” (“as a hostile counterpart to the Umoristi”); he does not identify the second. Maylender and Rava (1976, vol. 5: 374; vol. 4: 16) mention a certain Accademia dei Malinconici that was founded in 1614 when the membership of the Umoristi grew too large. 45 An art form that gained popularity in the sixteenth century, emblems consist of a picture, a motto, and sometimes an explanatory text. The presence of many emblems in Rossi’s description of Eudemia’s literary academy is a reflection of their ubiquity. As John Manning (2002: 16, 25) explains, “Without exaggeration, from Catholic Spain to the Protestant Netherlands and from England to Russia the emblem impinged on every aspect of European Renaissance and Baroque life—and death … No domestic or public space was left unfilled by some appropriate emblematic decoration.” 19 <?page no="157"?> 158 Eudemia in Ten Books Haec Gallonio fabulante, ex improviso Salvius adest ac cuidam, fusca facie nigroque capillo, Cumino nomine, qui tabellas quas habebat in manibus, attente legebat, “Quid tibi,” inquit, “videtur haec oratio, qua Obtusus noster nihil laudavit? ” - “Elegans,” inquit ille, “atque venusta. Sed venisse hoc illi in mentem gaudeo, praesertim mea causa. Nam antea ferebam moleste quod nihili homo haberer, ac propterea dabam operam sedulo ut aliquid essem. Nunc vero cum tantum in eo, quod 147 nihil sit, ponatur esse soliditatis et ornamentorum, iam mei non me poenitet, imo plane nihil esse delectat. Verum si Obtuso daretur optio eligendi utrum vellet, nescio an mallet esse nihil quam Caesar. Sed obsecro, cedo mihi stylum. Nam volo in his ipsis tabellis, in ima cera aliquot versiculis hanc illi sententiam exponere.” Cuminus Obtuso salutem Ingemui quondam traxique per ora ruborem, cum me forte aliquis dixerat esse nihil. Nunc, Obtuse, nihil cum sic tua pagina laudet, nec doleo, nec me dispudet esse nihil. Sed peream, si, cum vel Caesar, vel nihil esse 5 possis, malueris funditus esse nihil. His scriptis, tradidit tabellas Salvio; quas ille solita sua festinatione Obtuso deferendas reddendasque curavit. Nos vero magna cupido incesserat uniuscuiusque cognoscendi. Itaque voluimus scire quid hic Cuminus hominis esset. Atque responsum est eum esse virum Graecis et Latinis litteris doctum atque ita Graece loqui, ut nullam nosse aliam linguam videretur. 147 quid 1637 20 21 22 <?page no="158"?> Book Three 159 him here, and accompany him back home. He single-handedly sees to it that this gathering never lacks scholarly membership or attendance. While Gallonius was recounting this, all of a sudden Salvius started attending to a man named Cuminus, who had a dark face and black hair and was intently reading a composition he held in his hands. “What did you think of that speech in which Obtusus praised nothing? ” - “It was elegant and pleasing,” he replied. “But I am glad he came up with this, especially for my sake. I used to worry that I was considered to be worth nothing, and, because of that, I strived diligently to become something. But now, since it is thought that there is such gravitas and distinction in nothing, I am no longer ashamed of myself; on the contrary, I thoroughly rejoice in being nothing. But if Obtusus were given the option to choose which to be, I suspect that he would prefer to be nothing rather than Caesar. 46 But please, hand me a pen; I want to express my thoughts in verse at the end of this tablet.” 47 Cuminus to Obtusus, Greetings. I used to become aggrieved and red in the face if anyone happened to say I was nothing. Now, Obtusus, since your writings praise nothing, I am neither sorry nor ashamed to be nothing. But let me drop dead if you would prefer to be utterly nothing, even though you have the ability to be either Caesar or nothing. When he had finished writing, he handed the tablet to Salvius who, in his usual hurried manner, made sure to take it to Obtusus and then bring it back. We, on the other hand, were seized by a strong desire to get to know everyone, and thus we wanted to know what kind of a person this Cuminus was. We found out that he was learned in Greek and Latin, and that he spoke Greek so well that he seemed to know no other language. 46 “Aut Caesar aut nihil” (“either Caesar or nothing” or “all or nothing”) was a motto adopted most famously by the Italian nobleman, politician, and cardinal Cesare Borgia (1475-1507). 47 The following poem is the first of a series of paradoxical encomia (poems in praise of mundane or unexpected subjects) recited at this gathering (others are on such subjects as a gnat, a honey apple, a pomegranate, and a beard). Paradoxical encomia on the topic of nothing (de nihilo) have existed since the middle ages (Lehmann 1922: 244-5) but they gained immense popularity in the seventeenth century after the publication of Jean Passerat’s satirical poem Nihil (Paris: Chez Estienne Preuosteau, 1587). For more on poems de nihilo, see Ossola 1997. 20 21 22 <?page no="159"?> 160 Eudemia in Ten Books Atque eramus plura de eo audituri, nisi effusissimi quidam risus editi ab iis, qui nobis assidebant, curiositatem nostram alio avocassent. At ii philosophi cuiusdam ex eo numero ingenium et acumen irridebant, qui invenisset densa omnia ac solida corpora esse perlucida; idque hac ratione conaretur ostendere: manum suam dexteram hinc et illinc supra laevam agebat tanta celeritate, ut breve illud tempus, quo dextera excurrens laevam obtegeret, aciem effugeret, ac propterea laeva semper cerni videretur. At ille, sive hoc dissimulans, sive non animadvertens, rationem concludebat hoc modo, “Nonne mea haec dextera est corpus densum ac solidum? At sic impulsa et agitata saepius laevam contegit, neque tamen oculis eripit. Sunt igitur omnia solida ac densa perspicua.” Non intellegebat dexterae agitationem oculis, ut dicebamus, illudere; quae si supra laevam immobilis staret, ita eam obduceret, ut cerni non posset. Docebat praeterea, terram esse fluidam atque in ea animantia omnia velut pisces moveri. “Quid enim aliud,” aiebat, “sunt illa corpuscula, quae per solis radios aquarum more decurrunt, nisi terrae particulae? Sola igitur terra haec inferiora occupat, quaeque moventur omnia complectitur.” Verum non audiemus haec ab eo, qui mox dicturus est. Nam semper aliquid affert ingenio perfectum atque elaboratum industria, ac praesertim iudicio limatum. Hic est ille Hiero Volusius, in primis doctus, humani ac divini iuris peritus, Graecis et Latinis litteris, denique omni eruditionis genere excultus; qui plura et egregia volumina, tum soluta oratione tum versibus edidit; neque quamvis egregius ad honores ascendit, id quod saepe in hac republica optimo cuique contingit. Haec atque alia de illo audiebamus, cum interim ipse comparet in cathedra. Erat facie honesta, sed macie ac pallore ex studiorum labore nonnihil obducta et, quia oculis minus utebatur, oculariorum praesidio munita, quae illi res auctoritatem magis quam deformitatem addebat. Coepit igitur culicem laudare ea eruditione et eloquentia, sententiis adeo concinnis, adeo venustis, 148 ut omnium consensu sit iudicatum, nihil ex eo loco auditum esse magis absolutum magisque perfectum. 148 Cic. Brut. XCV.325: “Genera autem Asiaticae dictionis duo sunt, unum sententiosum et argutum, sententiis non tam gravibus et severis quam concinnis et venustis.” 23 24 <?page no="160"?> Book Three 161 We would have heard more about him had exuberant laughter, coming from the people sitting next to us, not directed our curiosity elsewhere. They were ridiculing the genius and acumen of a certain philosopher in their group, 48 who had supposedly discovered that all dense and solid bodies were transparent, something he attempted to demonstrate in the following way: He moved his right hand back and forth over his left hand so quickly that the brief period of time when his right hand (which was in motion) was covering up his left hand was not perceptible to the naked eye, and because of this his left hand always appeared visible. The philosopher, either not noticing this, or pretending not to notice, concluded his reasoning thus: “Is my right hand not a dense and solid body? As it moves quickly back and forth it covers the left hand, but it nevertheless does not remove it from sight. Therefore, all solid and dense bodies are transparent.” He failed to understand that the movement of his right hand was creating, as we say, an optical illusion and that, if his right hand remained still above his left hand, it would cover it in such a way that you wouldn’t be able to see it. Moreover, he taught that the earth was liquid and that all living things moved about in it like fish: “What else could those little objects be that you see floating about in sunrays like water, if not little particles of earth? Therefore, it is the earth alone that occupies these lower parts and surrounds everything that moves.” But we were not going to hear such things from the person who was about to speak, since he always conveyed ideas that were brought about by ingenuity, elaborated by exacting effort, and honed by good judgment. That man is Hiero Volusius, who is first and foremost learned, is an expert in divine and human law, and is thoroughly educated in Greek and Latin letters, and, finally, in all manner of learning. He has published many outstanding books in both prose and poetry, and, though he has distinguished himself, he has not attained the highest honors, which frequently happens to the best people in this state. 49 While we were listening to these and other things about this man, he appeared at the podium. His face was honest, albeit gaunt and slightly pale from the toil of study; because his eyesight was weak, it was shielded behind spectacles, which made him look authoritative rather than deformed. He proceeded to praise a 48 Possibly Giovanni Ciampoli (1589-1643) who, at one point, was crowned papal poet laureate (Rietbergen 2006: 108). He lost his position as secretary of the Papal Briefs in the 1630s because he was an admirer of Galileo Galilei. Rossi devotes a portrait to Ciampoli in his Pinacotheca altera. 49 This judgment regarding the state is made in the first-person voice of the narrator, Flavius Vopsicus Niger, which is unusual. He is not a native of the country and, in general, the criticisms of the state are overheard by him but spoken by others. 23 24 <?page no="161"?> 162 Eudemia in Ten Books Qui postquam peroravit, descendit ac sessum inter alios abiit. At Princeps Academiae (qui erat adolescens rufus, genere summo, ingenio maximo, quique cursum suum transcucurrerat 149 ; nam qua aetate alii de ineundo studiorum curriculo cogitant, ipse eorum metam attigerat), hic igitur adolescens tam nobilis coepit sigillatim unumquemque rogare ut, si quid novi carminis haberent, in medium afferrent. Ac primus omnium rogatur Plusius Accipiter. Hic capillo erat albo, sed ingenio et comitate neutiquam senex. 150 Nam dicebatur esse cavillator facetus, 151 hilaris, iucundus, comis et amico amicus, 152 ac poëta in primis suavis, argutus ac lepidus. Hic, inquam, clara et suavi voce recitavit hoc hexastichum, quod ad virginem scripserat, cui melimela muneri miserat. “Purpureis conspersa notis melimela rubemus et distenta gravi levia melle sumus. At simul exiguo perfuncta senescimus aevo; it rubor a nobis foedaque ruga venit. Sic crispanda manes, venient tibi fata senectae 5 et tibi pulchra genis purpura, virgo, cadet.” Et quia mos est illius Academiae repetere quae dicuntur, ut, si quid primo intellectum est minus, iterum prolatum rectius percipiatur, ideo satis mihi fuit otii ad excipiendum ea quae dicebantur. Secundo loco iussus est dicere Nicobulus Aridus, qui Claudium Magium mortuum, magna apud eos homines fama ac nomine, quique olim Academiam illam princeps rexerat, laudavit hoc carmine, in quo acute, ut mihi videtur, allusit ad insigne Academiae, quod fons erat eximius, in cuius humore perlucido complures cygni natabant. Et, quia coeperat ita submisse ab initio dicere, ut vix a proximis audiretur, Plusius, sua solita festivitate, “Dic,” inquit, “Nicobule, clarius, ut qui in ultima aula sedent, exaudiant.” Qui obtemperans ait: 149 Cic. Brut. LXXXI.282: “ita gravissumo suo casu, dum Cyri et Alexandri similis esse voluit, qui suum cursum transcurrerant, et L. Crassi et multorum Crassorum inventus est dissimillimus.” 150 Plaut. Mil. III.i.631: “Si albicapillus hic, videtur neutiquam ab ingenio senex.” 151 Plaut. Mil. III.i.642: “vel cavillator facetus vel conviva commodus / item ero.” 152 Plaut. Mil. III.i.660: “nec qui amicus amico sit magis.” 25 26 27 <?page no="162"?> Book Three 163 gnat 50 with such erudition and eloquence, with phrases so skillfully joined together and so elegant, that it was judged, by the consent of all, that nothing more perfect or more excellent had ever been heard in that venue. After he had concluded his recitation, he stepped off the dais and went to sit with everyone else. The Prince of the Academy 51 —a red-haired young man of the highest birth, the greatest intelligence, and who had risen quickly in his career because, at the age when others were just thinking about embarking on their studies, he had already completed them—this most noble youth began asking each person in turn to present any new poems, if they had any. Above all he called on Plusius Accipiter, whose hair was gray but whose mind and demeanor were not at all that of an old man. He was said to be a witty conversationalist, lively, pleasant, affable, a friend to his friends; and he was an especially delightful poet, both melodious and charming. In a clear, sweet voice he recited this six-line poem, which he had written in honor of a maiden to whom he had sent honey apples as a gift: “We apples blush with red and are brimming, smooth and heavy, with honey. At the same time, we grow old after a brief life. Our rosy hue forsakes us and ugly wrinkles take its place. Wrinkles await you in the same way, maiden; the destiny of old age will descend upon you, and the pretty blush of your cheeks will fall away.” Since it was customary in this Academy to repeat everything that was said so that, if something was not understood the first time, it could be absorbed more precisely when presented again, I had plenty of time to take in what was being said. Nicobulus Aridus was invited to speak next, and he praised the late Claudius Magius (famous among Academy members both in reputation and name, and who had once presided over the Academy) with a poem, in which, in my opinion, he cleverly poked fun at the Academy’s emblem, which was a magnificent fountain with many swans swimming in its crystal-clear waters. 52 50 A poem titled Culex is one of the works in the Appendix Vergiliana, a collection of poems traditionally ascribed to Virgil as part of his youthful writings (iuvenilia) but are now considered to be spurious. John Donne also wrote a poem called The Flea, which was published posthumously in 1633. 51 Pietro Sforza Pallavicino (1607-1667). 52 The emblem of the Accademia degli Umoristi consisted of an image of the sun partially obscured by precipitating clouds accompanied by the Lucretian motto “redit agmine dulci” (Lucr. 637-8). 25 26 27 <?page no="163"?> 164 Eudemia in Ten Books “Navigat Elysium placido dum Magius amne et fugit evictos nobilis umbra rogos, 153 turba frequens passim viridantibus abdita silvis prosilit et totis emicat alta iugis. Nescia sed quali properaret navita mundo, 5 quaeritat, unde novum cymba referret onus. Ast ubi Bellinum veteri dare plura sodali oscula et amplexu nectere colla videt, fontibus ex istis tantum fluxisse decorem comperit, atque illis enituisse locis. 10 Protinus ingeminat plausus, festisque choreis mista refert blandis talia dicta modis: ‘Scilicet ille humor si tales educat umbras, hoc erit aetherea clarius arce nemus.’” Nicobulo tacente, Fabullus Leonatus, sponte sua nec exspectato Principis iussu, “Hoc,” ait, “epigramma Nicobuli revocavit mihi in memoriam odam, qua ego eius quem meminit Bellini, poëtae clarissimi, mortem deflevi. Hanc ego, nisi aliter vobis videatur, exponam.” - “Ut lubet,” inquit Princeps, “quidquid enim attuleris, proderit.” Qui sic orsus est dicere: “Quantus, heu, terris abiit relictis splendor! Heu, quanto fremit aura luctu! Occidit Bellinus, amor, voluptas curaque Phoebi. Aetheris vastas penetravit oras, 5 sicut et velox petit ignis alta, 153 Prop. IV.VII.1-2: “Sunt aliquid Manes: letum non omnia finit, / luridaque evictos effugit umbra rogos.” 28 29 30 <?page no="164"?> Book Three 165 Because he had begun speaking so softly that he could barely be heard, even by those nearest to him, Plusius, with his usual charm, said, “Speak up, Nicobulus, so those at the back of the room can hear you.” Nicobulus complied: “While Magius, a noble shade, is navigating the calm river to Elysium and fleeing the funeral pyre from which he has escaped, a dense crowd, hiding in the green forest, comes forth from all directions and is seen high atop the mountain ridges. The crowd of people does not know, but tries to find out, what sort of world the sailor is hastening to and whence the little boat is carrying its singular cargo. But when they see Bellinus showering his old comrade with many kisses and see the two entwine their necks in an embrace, they discover that a great glory has flowed from these waters and has shone forth from these places. Their applause immediately increases and they utter the following sayings mixed with joyful dancing: ‘Surely if that river brings forth such shades, this grove will be more famous than heaven above.’” When Nicobulus had finished speaking, Fabullus Leonatus, of his own accord and without waiting for the Prince’s order, said, “Nicobulus’s epigram reminds me of an ode with which I once eulogized that most famous poet Bellinus upon his death. Unless you deem otherwise, I will recite it to you here.” - “As you like,” said the Prince. “Whatever you have to share will be rewarding.” Fabullus Leonatus began: “Alas, what splendor has passed away and left the world behind! Alas, what lamentation causes the air to resound! Bellinus has died, the love, delight, and darling of Phoebus. He has entered the vast region of heaven, as the fast flame climbs upward and the swift arrow takes leave of a bent bow. As the rent air cracks like a thunderbolt when an arrow leaves the bowstring, so the world cries out at the death of Bellinus who is returning to the stars. Installed in the ranks of the gods, he will be carried by the quick force of the resounding heavens and will descend, late, into the deep ocean. A new shooting star, trailing a white tail, shows how excellent Virtue, in service to the righteous gods, gleams among the eternal stars. Venus, blushing with ruddy hue, and Phoebus are glad to add him to their company; at the same time, by joining their light together, they restore the losses of the night. Weave garlands of twining ivy, 28 29 30 <?page no="165"?> 166 Eudemia in Ten Books et recurvatum celeris sagitta praeterit arcum. Stridet ut nervum fugiente telo fulminis ritu laceratus aer, 10 morte Bellini repetentis astra sic gemit Orbis. Ille sed divum numero Iovisque insitus, fertur rapido sonantis impetu caeli, oceanoque serus 15 mergitur alto. Et trahens albos nova stella crines monstrat ut iustis operata Divis inter aeternos generosa Virtus fulgeat ignes. 20 Hunc Venus, pulchro rutilans nitore, hunc sibi gaudet sociare Phoebus, et simul noctis reparare, iuncto lumine, damna. 154 Frondibus textas hederae coronas, 25 Delphica et lauro 155 viridique myrto 156 nectite et magni date thura sacram vatis ad aram. Dulce testudo resonare carmen docta, 157 quod ripis remoretur amnes, 30 evolet, dum par fidicen resurgat, cominus astris.” 154 Hor. Carm. IV.7.13: “damna tamen celeres reparant caelestia luna.” 155 lauru 1645 156 Hor. Carm. III.30.15-6: “et mihi Delphica lauro cinge volens”; and Carm. I.4.9: “nunc decet aut viridi nitidum caput impedire myrto.” 157 Prop. II.XXXIV.79-80: “tale facis carmen docta testudine quale Cynthius impositis temperat articulis.” <?page no="166"?> Book Three 167 Delphic laurel, and green myrtle, and bring gifts of frankincense to the sacred tomb of that great poet. Let his lyre fly up to the stars, one with sufficient skill to sound a song sweet enough to hold back the rivers in their banks, until an equal bard arises.” <?page no="167"?> 168 Eudemia in Ten Books Assidebat Fabullo Lepidus Gallutius Sinister, Lucii Sinistri, aedium illarum domini, filius, paucis diebus ante ob ingenii celeritatem et eruditionis copiam, celerius quam per leges Academiae liceret, in eum numerum cooptatus; atque erant omnes vehementer cupidi eius ingenii speculam aliquam degustandi. 158 Sed ille, vel pudore liberali adductus, vel quod verebatur tot hominum eruditorum iudicia subire, rogatus ut aliquid diceret, recusabat. Sed tandem, ab amicis exoratus, “Aliquot,” inquit, “versiculos proferam, quos mihi superioribus diebus, cum essem ruri, sum passus excidere. Excitabat enim me et loci amoenitas, et caeli salubritas ac diei serenitas, ut anni tempus lepidissimum laudarem: “Iam nunc festivo resonet mea fistula cantu delicias teneras et laeti gaudia veris, hic, ubi rura suos pandunt laetissima vultus, collesque et campi, quos aura beata Favoni aspirans, niveo rutiloque exornat amictu. 5 O decus eximium, splendor nitidissimus anni, ver, quo purpureo collucent arva colore, floribus atque suis stellata decentibus audet sidereo tellus forma contendere caelo, candida quos inter calathos imitata renident 10 lilia narcissique et purpurei amaranthi, 159 et molles violae, quas suavis pallor amantum inficit et vario rerum natura colore vestit. Namque albent speciem ducuntque cruoris. At rosa, virgineo gremium suffusa rubore, 15 tum pudibunda comas viridi abscondisse galero, tum revocare cupit roseos e limine vultus, 158 Cic. Clu. XXVI.72: “itaque minime amarus eis visus est qui aliquid ex eius sermone speculae degustarant.” 159 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 9) cites Plin. HN XXI.XIII.47 for a definition of amaranthus: “est autem spica purpurea verius quam flos aliquis.” See also Angelo Poliziano, Rusticus (Silvae) 186-8: “ut sunt orta cadunt, nive candidiora ligustra / nec longum durant calathos imitata patentes / lilia, sed longum stant purpurei aramanthi.” 31 32 <?page no="168"?> Book Three 169 Sitting next to Fabullus was Lepidus Gallutius Sinister, son of Lucius Sinister, master of this house. On account of his quickness of wit and the wealth of his education, he was admitted to their ranks just a few days earlier, which was sooner than the rules of the Academy allowed; and everyone was exceedingly eager to get a taste of his intellect. Lepidus, either guided by a genteel modesty or because he was afraid of being subjected to the judgment of so many learned men, declined when asked to speak. After being persuaded by his friends, however, he finally said, “I will recite some verses that I allowed to slip out over the last few days while I was in the country. The beauty of that place, the salubrity of the weather, and the peacefulness of the day inspired me to praise that most beautiful season: “Now let my shepherd’s pipe cause the tender delights and the joys of happy Spring to resound in festive song, here where the lush lands, hills, and fields smile, which the blessed breeze of Favonius breathes on and dresses up in snowy-white and red. O Spring, most excellent ornament, most shining splendor of the year, when the fields glimmer with a purple hue and the earth, sprinkled with pleasing flowers, dares, in her beauty, to compete with the starry sky; among which flower buds white lilies, narcissus, and purple amaranth gleam; and soft violets tinged with the sweet paleness of lovers, which nature cloaks with a rich variety of colors. Indeed, they are white and look as if they are bleeding. The rose, suffused at her core with a maiden’s blush, turns red both with a desire to hide her hair under a green cap and to conceal her rosy countenance; and, abiding in a maiden’s bosom, to glow or be plucked by the white thumb of an admiring boy. She playfully opens her folds; then she slowly shakes the blossom off her lap, tinged with its native purple hue, and it colors the green grass of the sunny field. How the song sung by the delicate voice of birds drives away sad cares and brings back leisure! Colorful sirens of the grove, you peaceful birds, with your innocent song you captivate our anxious minds, plunged into evil, compelling us to cleanse them in the serene depths of Lethe; and, with our spirit calmed, you compel us to bring exquisite forgetfulness into our stress-filled lives. Therefore, let my lands ever resound with your warbling; there will be no traps here, no bird catchers with birdlime. Melliferous swarms, with their delicate and peaceful hum, gather thyme or build their waxen homes. Shall I, forgetful of breathing the gently whispering heavenly air, be silent about your honors? How your sweetest spirit caresses, coming right up close to my ears! How many scents waft towards my nose! Your spirit, traversing fragrant hills and Nabataean 53 fields, brings back to me, in the midday heat, sweet, pleasing gifts freely offered up by flowers. Stay, mild air, and grant this favor to my plot of land, that you will always float over the tops of my leafy trees, and that they 53 Nabataeans were an Arab people who inhabited northern Arabia and the Southern Levant and whose kingdom was centred on Petra. 31 32 <?page no="169"?> 170 Eudemia in Ten Books virgineasque inter residens fulgere papillas, vel niveo pueri mirantis pollice carpi. Haec lasciva sinum pandit; post languida florem 20 excutit e gremio, nativo murice tinctum, ac viridans campo gramen depingit aprico. Sed volucrum tenui modulatum gutture carmen ut curas abigit tristes atque otia reddit! Sirenes nemorum pictae 160 placidaeque volucres, 25 innocuo pavidas rapitis quae carmine mentes, et mala demersas securo gurgite Lethes cogitis abluere invictas, animoque soluto ducere solicitae iucunda oblivia vitae. Quo semper vestris resonent mea rura querelis, 30 hinc omnes abeant laquei cumque aucupe viscum. Nec minus invisas avertunt pectore curas Cecropiae volucres, 161 tenui placidoque susurro vel thyma carpentes, vel cerea tecta locantes. Iamne tuos taceam tantos oblitus honores, 35 lene susurrantis caelestis anhelitus aurae? Ut ferit usque meas veniens dulcissimus aures spiritus ipse tuus! Quot naribus afflat odores! Nam per odoriferos colles Nabathaeaque rura dulcia percurrens ereptaque floribus ultro 40 munera grata refert, medio mihi lenis in aestu. 162 Aura, mane, tantumque meo da mitis agello, ut circum haec volites frondosa cacumina semper, quo glacie ac rigidis niteant viduata pruinis. 160 sirenes nemorum: songbirds. It can also be translated as nightingales (see Vanière 1710). 161 cecropiae: bees. The apis mellifera cecropia, or Greek bee, is a type of honey bee native to southern Greece. 162 Ov. Met. VII.811: “aura petebatur medio mihi lenis in aestu.” <?page no="170"?> Book Three 171 will shine, free of ice and rigid frost. Whether fierce Sirius scorches the thirsty fields, or snow and rain alter the sky along with their rumbling, let there be no shortage of flowers for bees, no shortage of roses, the garlands’ friend, or of long-lived celery, violets, or white lilies, or the privet, whiter than snow.” <?page no="171"?> 172 Eudemia in Ten Books Nec desint apibus flores, nec amica coronis 45 vel rosa, vel vivax apium violaeque, vel alba lilia, 163 velque ipsa nive candidiora ligustra, sive ferox urat sitientes Sirius agros, sive nives imbresque trahant cum murmure caelum.” Placuit omnibus adolescentis indoles ad poësin; atque ea fuit opinio, dulcem illam atque decoctam 164 et tanquam de musto ac lacu fervidam eloquentiam 165 annorum decursu multo mitiorem ac suaviorem fore. Post hunc Liberalis recitavit haec duo epigrammata: “Dum tua turgidulas impellunt lumina gemmas, 166 igne ferox valido pectora torret Amor. Quid mirum, duplices si tunc radiata per auras emittunt ignes et magis uda micant? Sic tenui toties rutiloque infecta vapore 5 cernimus ardentes sidera ferre faces.” Hic cum paulum tacuisset, “Laudavi,” inquit, “lacrimas alterius; nunc meas conquerar: “Et mea perpetuis torrentur pectora flammis, udaque largifluo lumina 167 rore madent. Num possunt liquidos oculi deducere fontes, et simul ardentes mittere corda rogos? Cur rapidos lacrimarum imber non comprimit ignes, 5 vel saltem irriguas non bibit ignis aquas? 168 163 Hor. Carm. I.36.14-5: “neu desint epulis rosae / neu vivax apium neu breve lilium.” 164 Cic. De or. III. XXVI.103: “Ita sit nobis igitur ornatus et suavis orator … ut suavitatem habeat austeram et solidam, non dulcem atque decoctam.” 165 Cic. Brut. LXXXIII.288: “sic ego istis censuerim et novam istam quasi de musto ac lacu fervidam orationem fugiendam.” 166 Stat. Silv. V.2.4: “udaque turgentes impellunt lumina guttas.” 167 Ov. Ars am. 662: “uda lumina.” 168 Ov. Am. II.XVI.1-2: “Pars me Sulmo tenet Paeligni tertia ruris / parva, sed inriguis ora salubris aquis.” 33 34 35 36 <?page no="172"?> Book Three 173 The youth’s innate talent for poetry met with everyone’s approval, and there was a consensus that his eloquence, which was sweet, lush, and in the process of fermenting, like must from the bottom of a wine barrel, would become much gentler and more pleasant as the years went by. Liberalis was up next, and he recited these two epigrams: “Your swollen eyes pour forth gemstones, fierce love scorches your heart with a mighty flame. Is it any wonder that, shining through the air, your eyes emit double fires and their moisture glows even more? Similarly, we see stars imbued with a fine, reddish mist carrying burning torches.” After he was silent for a bit, he said, “I have praised the tears of another; now I will lament my own: “My heart is constantly aflame and my eyes are wet with copious moisture. Can my eyes bring forth clear spring waters, while at the same time my heart is emitting a fiery funeral pyre? Why does the rain shower of my tears not put out the fast-moving flames, or the fire at least not imbibe the flowing waters? It is no wonder: cruel love combines two contraries, mixing rain with fire and fire with rain.” 33 34 35 36 <?page no="173"?> 174 Eudemia in Ten Books Non mirum: crudelis Amor contraria nectit, atque imbrem facibus miscet, et imbre faces.” Vir hic apud eos homines habetur poëta tragicus atque eius scriptiones grande quiddam sonare et tanquam classicum canere dicuntur; sed ex epigrammatibus quae attulit, coniecimus habere eundem suavitatis non minus. Secutus est Sabellus, qui, “Provocor,” inquit, “a Lepido Sinistro, ut carmen alterum recitem, quo proximis Kalendis Maii eius mensis amoenitatem laudavi: “Festivi mensis festae venere Kalendae, labentisque anni gloria Maius adest. Ecce tibi roseo perfusus lumine Titan luce refert nitidos et sine nube dies; cultaque odoratis depicta coloribus arva 5 lilia cum violis ad nova serta parant. Cernuntur tenerae per compita longa puellae ferre sinu niveas purpureasque rosas, et simul extructas cumulantes frondibus aras undique sublata poscere dona manu. 10 Cur non sic totus decoratur floribus annus? Cur aestas urit? Cur fera saevit hiems? Sed tibi vere novo reparantur gaudia rursum, et redit arboribus graminibusque decor. At nobis simul ac melior defluxerit aetas, 15 omnis abest rigidis flosque decusque genis.” Laudaverunt omnes genus illud scribendi laetum, exhilaratum, amoenum; ac sensimus nos, qui audiebamus, in hilaritatem impelli. At Sextilius Ligur, qui ingenio, eruditione, doctrina ferebatur in primis, quique, ut aiebant, praeter libros optimorum epigrammatum et luculentas orationes, in tabulam Cebetis doctissimos commentarios ediderat, “Duo,” ait, “praeclara ingenia quae ante me dixerunt, veris divitias et praemia suis versibus extulerunt. At ego, qui tanto autumnum veri praestare intellego, quanto pluris sunt fructus quam flores et frondes, cum eo magis mihi arbitror rem esse. Accedit quod aetas 37 38 39 40 <?page no="174"?> Book Three 175 Among the members of the Academy, this man was considered a tragic poet and his writings were said to resound mightily like a battle trumpet; but from the epigrams he recited, we concluded that he possessed charm in equal amounts. Sabellus followed up by saying, “Lepidus Sinister challenges me to recite another poem in which, on the most recent May Day, I praised the loveliness of that month: “The festive Kalends of the festive month have arrived. May is upon us, pride of the passing year. Behold the Sun-god, bathed in rose-colored light, brings back bright, cloudless days. The tilled fields, painted with fragrant colors, furnish lilies, together with violets, for new garlands. Young girls are spotted throughout the long byways, carrying white and purple roses in their aprons, and, at the same time, they lift up their hands and ask for gifts while piling green boughs on raised altars. Why is the whole year not decorated with flowers like this? Why is summer scorching hot? Why is winter savagely fierce? But the new spring renews your joys again and restores beauty to the trees and plants. But as soon as our best years have faded away, every blossom and beauty will be absent from our rough cheeks.” Everyone praised his writing style, which was cheerful, bright, and charming, and we in the audience felt ourselves moved to joy. Then Sextilius Ligur, who was considered to be among the preeminent Academy members in terms of intellect, erudition, and education—and who, they said, besides his books of excellent epigrams and his brilliant speeches had published extremely learned commentaries on the Tablet of Cebes 54 —said, “The two noble 54 The work referred to here is Agostino Mascardi’s Discorsi morali su la Tavola di Cebete tebano (Venetia: Ad instanza di Girolamo Pelagallo, 1627). 37 38 39 40 <?page no="175"?> 176 Eudemia in Ten Books mea propius abest ab autumno. Quamobrem poma Punica, quorum illud tempus est ferax, conatus sum his versibus laudare: “Impiger extremos currit 169 mercator ad Indos et mare gemmiferum findere classe parat, 170 ut, quos dant lapides Indi Tyriique colores, 171 evehat in pompas, O nova nupta, tuas! Haec si purpureos imitantia grana pyropos 5 murice vel gemmis splendidiora nitent, quin solis illinc oculis alimenta petuntur, insuper hinc roseum nectar et ora trahunt.” Postea iussus est dicere iuvenis (nomen non memini), in quo praesertim indoles mirifica inerat ad poësin 172 quique, stans pede in uno, centum posset versus effundere. 173 Hic, “Nescio,” inquit, “utrum sit optabilius ingenio an divitiis praestare, praesertim in his moribus et in hac civitate, ubi divitibus solis praemia, voluptates, honores et gaudia contingunt. Verum ego amico cuidam meo, fortunato homini ac nobili, qui tarditatem sterilitatemque ingenii sui, praesertim in versibus scribendis, querebatur mihique se invidere diceret, cui ad versiculos faciendos natura ipsa tanta, ut dicebat, adiumenta tribuisset, hoc epigramma conscripsi: “Sudas, palles, contremis et moribundus anhelas, scribis ut averso carmina pauca Deo. 174 Stulte, quid infernas properas nunc ire sub umbras, 169 curit 1637 170 Hor. Epist. I.I.45-6: “impiger extremos curris mercator ad Indos / per mare pauperiem fugiens”; and Prop. III.IV.1-2: “Arma deus Caesar dites meditatur ad Indos / et freta gemmiferi findere classe maris.” 171 Hor. Epist. I.VI.18: “cum gemmis Tyrios mirare colores.” 172 poesim 1637 173 Hor. Sat. I.IV.9-10: “in hora saepe ducentos, / ut magnum, versus dictabat stans pede in uno.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 11. 174 = Apollo 41 42 43 <?page no="176"?> Book Three 177 minds that spoke before me extolled in their verses the riches and rewards of spring. But I feel that autumn surpasses spring to the extent that it produces more fruit than flowers and foliage, which I think is more important. What is more, I am closer to autumn in my stage of life. Therefore, I have attempted to praise the pomegranate in my verses, which abounds during this season: “The tireless merchant rushes to the farthest Indies and prepares to cleave the pearl-bearing ocean with his fleet so that, new bride, he can bring you whatever gemstones and dyes the Indians and Tyrians have to offer your retinue. If these pomegranate seeds, much like brilliant bronze, shine more brightly than purple dye and precious stones, they are not sought after as nourishment for the eyes alone, since the mouth can also drink rosy nectar from them.” Following Sextilius Ligur, a young man (whose name I don’t remember) was commanded to speak. He possessed a particularly wonderful talent for poetry and could produce a hundred lines of poetry while standing on one foot. 55 He said, “I do not know whether it is more desirable to excel in intellect or in wealth, particularly in the context of these customs, and in this city where rewards, pleasures, honors, and delights accrue only to the wealthy. But I wrote this epigram for a certain friend of mine, a fortunate and noble man who was complaining about the sluggishness and barrenness of his own talent, especially in regard to composing verses. He said he envied me, on whom nature herself, as he said, had bestowed her aid in writing verses: “You perspire, grow pale, tremble, and gasp your last breath as you write down a few poems, as if Apollo were against you. You fool, why are you rushing toward the infernal shadows now, while Fortune’s pleasing face shines on you? On you she bestowed money and acres of cultivated fields, and on me the ability to produce verses. If you complain that what was given to me is more than my fair share, ask yourself why it is that my prayers to the gods were granted. Indeed, allow the gods to let you enjoy a richer vein, if they assign to me the gifts in which you arrogantly tread.” 55 This image from Hor. Sat. I.IV.9-10 is meant to criticize the prolific satirist Lucilius for favoring quantity over quality. 41 42 43 <?page no="177"?> 178 Eudemia in Ten Books Fortunae facies cum tibi grata nitet? Illa tibi nummos et culti iugera campi, 5 at mihi versiculos fundere posse dedit. Quod si plus iusta quereris mihi parte relictum, ut rata sint superis haec mea vota, roga. Nempe quibus tumidus graderis, mihi dona resignent; te vena faciant uberiore frui.” 10 Ianus erat quidam in eo numero, cognomento Thorio, quique in eo conventu Offuscatus appellabatur; cui veterum numismatum et inscriptionum notitiae omnium concessu primae dabantur. Et quamvis summam doctrinae et eruditionis laudem paucis concederet, sale tamen facetiisque 175 facile omnes superabat. Hic summe exspectabatur ab omnibus, ut diceret. Semper enim venustum aliquod et facetum afferebat. Qui tandem appellatus a Principe, “Deplorabo,” inquit, “hoc carmine adversam Caesaris amici mei fortunam; cui annos nato duos supra triginta in sulcis rugosi illius menti nullus adhuc potuit pilus radices immittere: “Sex Caesar lustris binos adiunxerat annos, et nondum barba cinxerat ora levi, nec dare cessabat medicata liquamina mento sedulus, et votis solicitare deos. Quod tandem faciles dii concessere roganti, 5 rugosaeque pilis obriguere genae. Verum dum gaudet barbato incedere vultu, et sic formosum se putat esse virum, nescio quo fato, tanto quae parta labore barba fuit misero, non bene firma cadit. 10 Scilicet haec superis est inconstantia magnis: tam parva eripiunt munera tam subito! ” 175 In the context of satire sal is most famously found in Horace, for example, Sat. I.X.2-4 which recalls the satirist Lucilius, who “sale multo urbem defricuit” (“thoroughly doused the city with salt”). 44 45 <?page no="178"?> Book Three 179 Among the Academy members was a certain Ianus, by the surname Thorius, who was called Offuscatus within their group. There was a consensus among everyone that he held first place in terms of knowledge of ancient coins and inscriptions. And though he yielded to few when it came to highest praise for learning and erudition, he also easily surpassed everyone in wit and humor. His speech was highly anticipated by all, because he always had something charming and witty to offer. When the Prince of the Academy finally called on him, he said, “In this poem, I lament my friend Caesar’s bad fortune, because, at the age of thirty-two, no hair has yet managed to put down roots on his wrinkly chin 56 : “Caesar had added two years to his six lustra, but his face had not yet grown a wispy beard, and he diligently kept applying medicated ointment to his chin and exhorting the gods with prayers. The compliant gods finally granted his wish, and his wrinkled cheeks were stiffened with facial hair. While he rejoiced at being able to march with a bearded face, and thought himself handsome because of it, by some stroke of fate, his beard—which had come about through such effort for the poor man—was not well established, and it fell out. Such is the fickleness of the great gods. They take away such small gifts so quickly! ” 56 Tiraboschi (1780: 34) writes that Castellini did recite an oration on the topic of beards at an Academy meeting (mentioned by Rossi in a 1633 letter to Castellini [Ep. ad div. 1.IV.IV]: “Elegans ille sermo de barbis habitus est a te in Academia Humoristarum, anno [1603]”). 44 45 <?page no="179"?> 180 Eudemia in Ten Books Hic simul omnes cachinnos extollere, ac eodem tempore Latini sermonis puritatem elegantiamque, quam illud epigramma praeferebat, efferre. Erat ibi forte quaesitor Euganeus quidam, summa auctoritate ac senectute; cuius in aedibus Gallonii scripta quaedam aspexeram. Quae ita mihi placuerant, ut non facile quidquam me vidisse faterer quod magis incorruptam illam Virgiliani saeculi scribendi rationem conservaret. De quo palam omnes loquebantur, debuisse illum iam pridem ad summum dignitatis fastigium ascendere, si esset locus probitati ac bonis artibus. Itaque vehementer aures arrexeram. Cupiebam enim eas voce illa erudita et digna Romanis auribus oblectare. Sed ea spe prorsus excidi. Nam ea aetate et auctoritate praeditum virum omnes in parentis loco habent; ac bene et praeclare secum agi existimant, si interdum ad academicas illas exercitationes et in illum eruditorum conventum non gravetur accedere. Sed lenivit desiderium nostrum adolescens nobilis, Tyrrhenus nomine; cuius maiores, religiosissimi mortales iidemque locupletissimi, quippe qui modio ac trimodio nummos metiti essent, 176 sacella elegantissima aedesque magnificentissimas 177 in ea urbe excitaverant. Hic praestantissimum ingenium suum contulerat ad summam iuris civilis scientiam, et iurisconsulto doctissimo se in disciplinam tradiderat; cuius artibus et exercitationibus ita deditus est, ut tamen, cum est otium, praesertim rebus prolatis, 178 versus componat ea sermonis puritate elegantiaque praeditos, ut admirationem faciant; eo urbanitatis colore conspersos, ut Romanis etiam hominibus possint imponere ac persuadere se idem cum ipsis natale solum habere. Rogatus igitur ut diceret, recitavit hoc epigramma de Cupidine et Apolline sub quercu dormiente: “Dum somnus placidis Phoebum circumvolat alis et tegit umbriferis quercus opaca comis, vicina properans vidit de rupe Cupido; qui iussit celeres segnius ire pedes, ac ‘Solem video,’ dixit, ‘recubare sub umbra, 5 quaeque diem retegunt lumina, nocte premi.’” 176 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 14) refers to Plaut. Men. Prologue l. 14-5: “Vobis demensum dabo / Non modio neque trimodio, verum ipso horreo.” See also Hor. Sat. I.I.95: “dives / ut metiretur nummos.” 177 Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 15 reads: “Refertur ad Augustinum Chisium, qui villam Chisianam, nunc Farnesinam aedificavit necnon Sacellum Chisianum in Ecclesiam S. Mariae de Populo, anno 1513 a Raphaele inchoatum.” 178 rebus prolatis: vacation (Plaut. Capt. I.i.78-85). 46 47 48 49 <?page no="180"?> Book Three 181 At this point everyone burst into raucous laughter and, at the same time, praised the purity and elegance of his Latin, which his epigram showcased. By chance, a certain inquisitor named Euganeus was present, a man of utmost authority and advanced age, some of whose writings I had spotted at Gallonius’s house. I liked them so much that I cannot easily say I have seen anything that better preserved, uncorrupted, the pure method of writing from the age of Virgil. Everyone was saying openly that, if there were a place in this society for honesty and liberal studies, Euganeus should already have risen to the highest ranking office. My ears pricked up with enthusiasm. I was eager for that erudite voice, which was worthy of Roman ears, to delight my own. But it was not to be. He was endowed with such age and influence that they all treated him as a father, and they thought it fair and admirable if, every now and then, he was willing to attend their academic events and this gathering of learned men. But a noble young man named Tyrrhenus satisfied our desire, whose ancestors, very religious and also very rich men—who estimated their wealth not by the pound but by the ton—had built the most elegant shrines and magnificent palaces in the city. 57 He had devoted his most excellent mind to that loftiest of subjects, the civil law, and had placed himself under the tutelage of a very learned lawyer. He is so devoted to the skill and practice of the liberal arts, that, even in his free time, especially during holidays, he still composes verses that are endowed with such purity and elegance of language as to garner admiration. He sprinkles them with a patina of urbanity that gives Romans the impression, or convinces them, that they share a native soil. Asked if he would speak, he recited this epigram about Cupid and Apollo sleeping beneath an oak tree: “While sleep flitted about Phoebus on gentle wing and the shady oak cast a shadow over him with its branches, swift Cupid saw him from a nearby rock. Ordering his quick feet to move more slowly, he said, ‘I see the sun sleeping in the shade, and his eyes, which reveal the day, are closed by darkness.’” 57 According to IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 15) this is a reference to the wealthy Sienese banker and patron Agostino Chigi (1466-1520), whose commissions included a chapel in Santa Maria della Pace, the Chigi Chapel in Santa Maria del Popolo, and the Villa Farnesina in Trastevere. 46 47 48 49 <?page no="181"?> 182 Eudemia in Ten Books Erant in eo eruditorum numero quidam immisti, a quibus nullum pensum exigebatur, sed praeteribantur immunes. Cuius rei causam exquirentibus nobis, respondit unus illos esse ex vetere academia neque ullis legibus ad recitandum obstringi. Sed cum pergeremus interrogare, quo ex genere hominum vetus academia constaret, “Ex optimo,” inquit, “genere ac festivissimo. Ut enim ceterae res, ita etiam haec Academia, a parvis initiis orta, ad hanc amplitudinem quam videtis excrevit. Etenim ab initio aliquot tantum adolescentes coiere in hanc domum per Dionysia, ut comoediis agendis requiem ac voluptatem exquirerent. Et sunt isti qui taciti inter alios sedent. Neque mos iste exolevit, sed viget nunc etiam. Nec ad has comoedias, ut leges eorum sunt, quisquam nisi suffragiis admittitur. Et si uno puncto minus tulerit, quamvis sit dynasta, quamvis rex ipse, repellitur ac reicitur. Nuptis tantum nobilibus earumque viris simul liber ad eas aditus patet. Non enim putant indecorum ac turpe feminis primariis aetate ac forma praestantibus risum movere.” Erat in hoc numero quidam honesta facie, capillo candido ac veste ad talos demissa, Ibero nomine; qui cum de more praeteriretur, surrexit ac “Nolim,” inquit, “videri in comoediis tantum agendis satisfacere; cupio etiam in versibus faciendis probari vobis industriam meam. Atque ostendam hoc epigrammate rationem tuendae per aestatem valetudinis.” Erecti sunt omnium animi ad audiendum. Qui sic infit: “Aestate ut valeas tota, nec saeva Leonis vesani 179 possit stella nocere tibi, os nigro semper madeat gelidoque Lyaeo, et iaceant sicco cetera membra loco.” Risus est commotus et simul amoenum hominis ingenium cunctorum approbatione laudatum. De hoc audiebamus esse neminem in illo nobilissimo actorum grege, qui militem gloriosum ad veritatem propius exprimeret. Hunc propter eius suavitatem ab omnibus diligi; hunc in conventibus amicorum, in conviviis, in compotationibus principem esse. 179 Hor. Carm. III.29.18-20: “iam Procyon furit / et stella vesani Leonis, sole dies referente siccos.” 50 51 52 53 <?page no="182"?> Book Three 183 Associated with that gathering of learned men were a few from whom no recitation was expected and who were passed over as exempt. When we asked the reason for this, someone responded that they were from the old Academy and that there were no rules obligating them to recite. When we persisted in asking Gallonius what kind of men the old Academy was made up of, he said, “The best and most agreeable kind. As it is with everything, this Academy rose up out of small beginnings and has grown to this large size, which you now see. Indeed, in the beginning only a few young men used to gather in this house, on the festival of Dionysus, to pursue entertainment and pleasure by putting on comic plays. Those are the ones who sit among the rest without talking. But their custom did not die out, and it lives on even now. According to their laws, no one is admitted into these comedic pursuits except by a vote, and if someone is even one vote short, whether he is a dynast or the rex [sacrorum] himself, he is refused and rejected. Noble wives are permitted to attend Academy meetings along with their husbands, for it is not considered unseemly or indecent to make noblewomen laugh, as long as they are outstanding both in age and beauty.” 58 There was a man among them named Iberus who had an honest face, gray hair, and a robe that went down to his ankles. Although he had been passed over according to custom, he rose and said, “I do not want it to seem like I am getting off easy by only performing comic plays. I also desire to prove my dedication to composing verses and to show you, with this epigram, how I keep my health up through the summer months.” Everyone pricked up their ears to listen, and he began: “To stay healthy all summer, and for Leo’s ferocious star not to harm you, always wet your lips with dark, chilled wine, and lay your body down in a dry place.” He moved us to laughter and, at the same time, this charming man’s character elicited unanimous praise. We heard the following about him, that there was 58 Francis W. Gravit (1935: 507) takes this passage as evidence that wives of Academy members were allowed to attend meetings. Frederick F. Hammond (1994: 86) asserts that the virtuosa musician and performer Leonora Baroni was a full-fledged member of the Umoristi, which would have made her the only female one (women were not permitted to be regular members). I am not convinced that this passage is sufficient evidence for such an assertion. Whether or not Baroni was a member, however, she and other virtuose (courtesans) did attend meetings where they performed music, often singing, and contributed poetry and plays (see Book Five, n. 94). 50 51 52 53 <?page no="183"?> 184 Eudemia in Ten Books Restabat Micrus a Pisauro, qui fere semper postremus rogabatur. Huic nemo voce, nemo ingenii celeritate praestabat; nemo erat in lacessendo respondendoque acutior, nemo in omni genere sermonis lepore ac festivitate conditior. Praeterea erat illi scribendi genus magnificum, enucleatum, dulce; sententiae splendidae et acutae. Hic cum paratus ad dicendum venisset, noluit in quorundam ineptiis haerere, qui cum multo ipsi malint dicere quam alii audire, recusando excusandoque diem consumunt, sed libera ingenuaque fiducia sic ait: “Dum pius Aeneas flammis torretur Amoris, quas bibit ex oculis, dulcis Elisa, tuis, ‘Mene,’ ait, ‘incolumem misere incendia Troiae, ut Carthago novis ureret alta rogis? Heu dispar morior! Potuit tunc addere famam 5 mors mihi; nunc misero vita decusque perit.’ “Cogitabam aliud etiam carmen vobis recitare, quo Philippi, copiarum nostrarum praefecti, coniugem nuper extinctam, loquentem induco. Verum satietati aurium vestrarum potius occurrendum quam aliis eas versibus onerandas censeo; quamobrem in praesentia supersedebo illudque in aliud dicendi tempus reiciam.” Sed omnes se statim velle audire dixerunt. Qui solita alacritate sic inquit: “Ut mea perpetuum celebretur fama per aevum, spargitur hic lacrimis carminibusque lapis. Sunt haec grata quidem cineri pia munera nostro, 180 attamen illa magis gloria summa placet, quod tibi coniugio fuerim sociata, Philippe, 5 luminibusque ipsis carior atque anima. 180 Verg. Aen. IV.623-4: “cinerique haec mittite nostro / munera.” 54 55 56 57 <?page no="184"?> Book Three 185 nobody in that most respected troupe of actors who could play the braggart soldier 59 more realistically than he. He was beloved by everyone on account of his pleasantness, and he was the guest of honor at his friends’ gatherings, banquets, and drinking parties. Micrus of Pesaro, who was almost always the last to be called on, had still not spoken. There was nobody better than he in terms of his voice or his quickness of wit; nobody sharper in challenging others or in responding to challenges; nobody more polished, in any speaking style, in terms of his wit and humor. What is more, he had a writing style that was magnificent, clear, delightful, and comprised splendid and keen phrases. Since Micrus came prepared to speak, he declined to get caught up in the pettiness of those who spent the day protesting or making excuses, when they actually preferred speaking much more themselves than listening to someone else. He recited these words with outspoken and frank confidence: “While pious Aeneas burned with the fire of love that he was imbibing from your eyes, sweet Elissa, 60 he exclaimed, ‘did the fires of Troy let me leave unharmed so that lofty Carthage might burn with new pyres? Alas, I will die your unequal! Then, death could have brought me fame; now, miserable, my life and honor are slipping away from me.’ “I was thinking about reciting another poem for you in which I present as a speaker the recently deceased wife of Philip, the leader of our troops. Rather than burden you with more verses, however, I think I will concede that you have heard enough. For this reason, I will refrain for the moment and put off that poem for another speaking occasion.” But everyone said they wanted to hear it right then and there, and so he recited with his usual enthusiasm: “This gravestone is sprinkled with tears and with poems, so that my fame will be celebrated throughout all eternity. These pious gifts are indeed pleasing to our ashes. What is more pleasing, however, and the highest honor, is that I was joined to you in marriage, Philip, and was dearer to you than your very eyes and your own life. This will grant that my long life is secured. You alone are the steady pillar of my renown. Let other women be in want of poems dedicated to them; for me it suffices as praise that people are able to say I was married to such a great man.” 59 The braggart soldier, or miles gloriosus in Latin, is a character in the eponymous play by Plautus. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 16. 60 Elissa, or Elisa: an alternative name for Dido. 54 55 56 57 <?page no="185"?> 186 Eudemia in Ten Books Hoc mihi longa dabit securae tempora vitae; unus eris titulis firma columna meis. Versibus indigeant aliae; mihi laudis abunde est, quod tali dicor nupta fuisse viro.” 10 Silentium, quo fuit exceptum hoc carmen, et cunctorum approbatio non mediocriter placuisse illud ostendit. Sed cum iam nemo videretur superesse qui diceret, discedendi causa omnes surrexerunt. At Hiero Volusius, qui ita copiose culicem laudaverat, manu silentium indixit ac “Nolim,” inquit, “videri venisse asymbolus in hunc locum, vel potius in hoc litterarium quasi convivium, ubi a tot litteratis viris tanquam a convivis collectae sunt exactae. Quamobrem ego etiam in commune aliquod conferam; ac recitabo iambum quo Ursati, virtutis et honoris antistitis nuper extincti, immaturam mortem deflevi. Qui erat (ut scitis) exemplum innocentiae virtutumque omnium: “Praeceps in improbum nefas semper ruit non aequa mens mortalium: nec iussa legum comprimunt minacium, nec saeva lictorum manus peccare conantem securibus tenet; 5 nec dicta iustis praemia ad fulgidum Virtutis excitant decus. Sic recta quae sunt, odimus. Quae laus tibi decusque quantum saeculis, Ursate, restat omnibus, 10 quem nec virens aetatis ac florens decor, nec purpurae clarus nitor, virtutis arcta perculit de semita traxitque segne in otium? Miramur atra te quod abstulit dies 15 citoque mersit funere. 58 59 60 <?page no="186"?> Book Three 187 The silence that greeted the poem, along with everyone’s approbation, showed that it had pleased them exceedingly. When it seemed that there was no longer anyone left to take a turn speaking, everybody got up to leave. Hiero Volusius, the one who had so eloquently praised a gnat, called for silence by raising his hand and said, “I don’t want to seem like I have gotten away without contributing anything to this venue, or rather, to this veritable convivium of writers, where offerings have been collected from so many literary men, as if from guests at a banquet. For this reason I will also contribute something and recite the poem, in iambic meter, with which I mourned the untimely death of Ursatus, the recently deceased defender of virtue and honor. As you know, he was the very model of integrity and of every virtue: “The unrighteous mind of mortals always rushes headlong into wickedness. The decrees of menacing laws do not hold someone back if he is bent on committing a crime, and the fierce hands of lictors do not restrain him with any authority. Nor do the rewards, allotted to the righteous, entice him toward shining Virtue. Thus, we detest things that are right. What praise and great glory awaits you for all time, Ursatus, whom neither the vigorous and flourishing ornament of age, nor the bright glow of power, has diverted from the narrow path of Virtue and drawn into slothful leisure! We are astounded that the dark day has carried you off and overwhelmed you with a quick death. An extraordinary event does not grant a long showing but ceases within a brief period of time. You, like a miracle, not having reached a fitting age for death, have taken flight prematurely toward the stars.” 58 59 60 <?page no="187"?> 188 Eudemia in Ten Books At rara res non longa dat spectacula de se, sed interit brevi: tu, aetatis haud probae, velut miraculum praecox in astra diffugis.” 20 Haec cum dixisset, conclamatum est ilicet. Itaque, facta potestate abeundi, consurgimus; relictaque academicorum corona, quae obviam Hieroni processerat, eidemque doctissimam illam culicis laudationem gratulabatur, una cum reliqua turba discedimus. At domus illius limen egressi, longum agmen impuberum puerorum aspicimus, qui nudis pedibus atque oculis humi defixis, bini incedebant, ac nescio quod carmen flebili voce atque demissa canebant. Hos magnus itidem puellarum numerus consequebatur, ad eundem fere modum concinentium. Quod sane admirantibus nobis inquit Gallonius, “Alexander, Daphnes et Apollinis praeses ac dynasta clarissimus, sextum iam diem decumbit in lecto, gravi periculosoque morbo implicitus. Atque ut audivi, dum vos attentius dicta academicorum excipitis, paucis abhinc horis morbus illi amplior est factus, ita ut medici prope desperent. At hi pueri puellaeque, quae eius misericordia sustentantur, ad omnia deorum pulvinaria Aesculapium orant, ut fit propitius. Et sane magnum haec civitas damnum immaturo eius interitu faciet, quo nemo est qui sumptu ac magnificentia longius prodeat.” His dictis, quia non multum ad solis occasum temporis supererat, pedetentim ac placide domum regredimur. Ubi nos primo cenae, tum lecto tradidimus. Sed circa secundam noctis vigiliam expergiscimur, querulis lamentantium vocibus excitati, quae totam viciniam impleverant. Quamobrem exterriti consurgimus, capita ex fenestra proferimus, easque lamentationes ex nosocomio Gallonii aedibus proximo venire comperimus. Nullae aliae voces exaudiebantur nisi illae, “Hei mihi, hei mihi! Crucior, disrumpor! Lien, hepar, intestina omnia seditionem faciunt, eruptionem parant.” Erat nosocomium illud omnium eius urbis maximum ac celeberrimum; ibique ad aegrotos procurandos magnus mercenariorum numerus conductus alebatur; quibus Magistri auctoritate et nomine imperabat senex quidam, ut dicebatur praeparcus et durus, qui nulli rei ita studebat, ut parsimoniae. Verum nullum in ea re neque iudicium neque modum adhibebat; nam interdum, ut minam lucrifaceret, talentum magnum perdebat. At Gallonius, sive captus misericordia laborantium mercenariorum, sive vitio gentis humanae, avidus cognoscendi quid esset, “Quid si adeamus,” inquit, “et laborantibus suc- 61 62 63 <?page no="188"?> Book Three 189 When he had finished speaking, the evening was suddenly at an end. Once we were granted permission to take our leave, we stood up and exited with the rest of the crowd, leaving behind a group of Academy members that was making its way over to Hiero to congratulate him on his learned poem in praise of a gnat. When we had crossed the threshold of the house, we caught sight of a long procession of adolescent boys walking two by two, barefoot, and with their eyes cast down on the ground. They were singing some sort of song in a doleful and low voice. An equally large group of girls was following them and singing in almost the same manner. As we looked on in wonder, Gallonius told us, “Alexander, 61 priest of the Temple of Daphne and Apollo and a most renowned dynast, has been bedridden for six days now consumed by a serious and dangerous illness. As I heard tell, a few hours ago, while you were attentively taking in the recitations of the Academy, his illness took such a turn for the worse that the doctors have almost given up hope. But these boys and girls, who are supported by his charity, have been praying at all of the temples dedicated to Aesculapius and asking for his favor. This city would certainly sustain an enormous loss with his untimely death, since there is nobody who comes close to him in terms of financial outlay, and who goes further than he in terms of expense and splendor.” When Gallonius was finished, and since it was almost evening, we gradually and quietly made our way home. When we got there, we gave ourselves over first to dinner and then to bed. We awoke at the second watch 62 startled by the plaintive cries of wailing people that were filling the entire neighborhood. Terrified by this, we got up, stuck our heads out the window, and discovered that the wailing was coming from the hospital next door to Gallonius’s house. The only cries we were able to make out were: “Woe is me! Woe is me! I’m in agony! My stomach is exploding! My spleen, my liver, my intestines are all rioting and getting ready to erupt! ” That particular hospital was the largest and by far the most famous of all the hospitals in the city, 63 and it maintained a large number of employees in order to attend 61 Cardinal Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto. He also appears under the name Plusius. He was famous for his patronage of the arts as well as for being a collector of art. 62 Between 9: 00 p. m. and midnight. 63 This is a reference to the Ospedale di Santo Spirito, an ancient hospital (now a convention center) located in the rione Borgo in Rome, east of Vatican City. 61 62 63 <?page no="189"?> 190 Eudemia in Ten Books curramus? ” - “Censeo,” ait Aemilius. Atque una omnes, succincti gladiis, miseris in auxilium properamus. Sed nosocomium ingressi, perreptamus usque illud omne, ad cenationem, ad penum, ad tabernam aromatariam (quo non? ) 181 neque quisquam occurrebat. Unum in valetudinario medicum cucurbitulas aegrotanti aeneas 182 applicantem offendimus, eidemque cruorem ex cute securi ducentem. Postremo cum fieret obviam nemo, secuti querentium sonitum latrinam intramus; ubi totam familiam ventris necessitate compulsam coisse comperimus. Erant in eo loco stercorariae sellae plus quindecim, omnesque ad unam ab exonerantibus ventrem obsessae. Sed qui postremi accurrerant, rogabant primos ut surgerent, ut locum darent; alii iracundiores se iis in gremium alvum educturos minabantur; alii ad vim confugiebant ac sellarum obsessores loco movere nitebantur; omnesque strepitu obsceno simul atque odore locum implebant. Rogamus unum, qui surrexerat, unde natum esset quod omnes una atque eadem hora citata alvus 183 exerceret? Respondet se id vino tribuere, quod in proxima cena bibissent. “Etenim magister nosocomii, homo parcus ac tenax, cum faecis magnam vim pluribus ex doliis collectam proici nollet, consultavit cum cellario quemadmodum eam potantibus nobis obtruderet. Ille, ut a magistro gratiam iniret, ‘Concinnabo tibi,’ inquit, ‘ex hac faece vinum ita purum, ita liquidum, ita simul mordax et lene, ut qui degustet non modo non aspernetur, verum avariter in se illud ingurgitet.’ In pauca ut conferam, faecem illam diligenter collectam multa vappa diluit additisque ovorum vitellis, sulphure ac magna praesertim aluminis copia totam eliquat ac pro vino hauriendam exhibet. Vix horae quatuor intercesserant ab eius epotatione, cum coepit singulis nobis alvus effluere atque acerbissimis doloribus distrahi.” Haec audientes in eum 181 Ter. Ad. IV.VI.715-6: “perreptavi usque omne oppidum: ad portum, ad lacum, / quo non? ” 182 References to the medical technique of cupping are found, for example, in Juv. 14.58 and Plin. NH. XXXII.X.42. 183 This terminology for lax or loose bowels can be found in medical texts, for example, Celsus, Med. I.6 and II.5. 64 65 <?page no="190"?> Book Three 191 to patients. They were managed by a certain old man, with the authority and title of Chief of Staff, who was said to be extremely stingy and severe and who strove for nothing so much as to keep costs down. He employed neither good judgment nor moderation in this endeavor, and he occasionally squandered many pounds in order to earn a single penny. Gallonius, seized either by pity for the afflicted employees or by the vices of the human race, was eager to see what was going on and said, “What do you say we go and give those suffering a hand? ” - “Agreed,” responded Paulus Aemilius, and we all donned our swords and rushed over together to help those poor people. We entered the hospital and crept through the entire place—the cafeteria, the pantry, the medicine cabinet (where didn’t we go? )—but we didn’t run into a single person. In the infirmary, we found a doctor applying bronze cupping glasses to a patient and drawing blood from his skin with a blade. Since we never came across anyone, we ended up following the sounds of groaning voices and we entered a bathroom, where we found the entire staff huddled together driven there by a gastric emergency. There were more than fifteen toilets in the bathroom, and each one was occupied by people evacuating their bowels. The last ones to run to the bathroom were urging the first ones to get up and give them their spot. Some, who were more prone to anger, were threatening to evacuate their bowels on the laps of those who were already sitting on the toilet. Others resorted to violence and struggled to shove the ones occupying the toilets out of the way. Everyone was filling the place simultaneously with a foul sound and stench. We asked one man, who had gotten off the toilet, how it had come to pass that everybody was emptying their loose bowels at exactly the same time. He said he blamed it on the wine they had consumed at a recent dinner: “In fact, because that cheap, tight-fisted hospital chief didn’t want the large quantity of dregs collected from his many wine casks to be thrown out, he consulted with the wine steward as to how he could foist them on those of us who were drinking. The wine steward, in order to enter into the chief’s good graces, said, ‘I will concoct a wine for you out of these dregs that is so pure, so unadulterated, so pungent and smooth at the same time, that whoever tastes it will not only not be put off, but will gulp it down eagerly.’ To make a long story short, the steward diluted the carefully collected dregs with a lot of flat wine and, after adding egg yolks, sulfur, and especially a large quantity of alum, he strained the whole batch and served it up to be consumed in place of wine. Barely had four hours gone by since that drinking binge, when everyone’s bowels began to overflow and be torn up by the sharpest pains you could possibly imagine.” Upon hearing this, we burst out laughing at him so completely that we almost busted a gut. But Gallonius told him to cheer up, for he hoped that this wine would serve in place 64 65 <?page no="191"?> 192 Eudemia in Ten Books plane risum effundebamur, ut prope ilia disrumperentur. Sed Gallonius bono eum animo esse iussit. Se enim sperare vinum illud ipsis medicae potionis loco futurum, quae lethales morbos averteret, quos pestilens anni tempus induxisset. Statimque discedimus, lectum repetimus, redormimus. Liber IV Postero die maturius multo quam pridie surreximus, ut reliquas eius urbis regiones oculis lustraremus. Sed iam emanarat in vulgus Dynastam Alexandrum ea nocte interiisse. Itaque plena erant omnia maeroris ac luctus; omnisque aetatis atque ordinis hominum ad eius aedes visendi gratia concursus fiebant. Sed inter eos qui ibant et redibant, dynasta unus alteri dynastae occurrit; atque illico ambo consistunt, inter se amicissime salutant; uterque alteri sancte affirmat nihil eo sibi iucundius quidquam neque carius esse. Tum pollicetur studium suum et operam sine ulla exceptione, aut laboris, aut occupationis, aut temporis; atque insuper addit nihil fore ita arduum, ita difficile, quod pro eo susceptum sibi facile et iucundum non sit futurum. Hic Gallonius cachinnos extulit. Ego admirans quaesivi de illo quid rideret. Qui, “Rideo,” inquit, “quia non facile est invenire duos mortales maiore inter se odio dissidentes quam isti sint. Vide ut mali dissimulant, ut se amplectuntur, ut pollicentur operas mutuas. Alio hic more ac Romae vivitur, ubi indictae et apertae inimicitiae magis excercentur quam tacitae et occultae. Hic est frons omnium familiaris, multorum animus iratus, iracundiae occultae, blanditiae apertae.” 184 Ac dicturus erat plura de illorum hominum moribus, nisi clamor ingens interpellasset. Quamobrem conversi magnam puerorum aliorumque catervam aspicimus, qui sibilis ac vocibus senem unum sectabantur, pallidum, squalidum ac paene ab inferis reducem. Clamabat unus, “Heus tu! Quid apud inferos agitur? Suntne ibi popinae, caupones? Num ibi estur ac bibitur? ” Vociferabatur alter, “Cur te noluit Orcus ad se recipere? Fortasse ut esset qui pueris in ludum ire recusantibus metum incuteret! Rogo te num tibi Pluto apodixim defunctoriam 184 Cic. Flac. 87: “O condiciones miseras administrandarum provinciarum, in quibus diligentia plena simultatum est, neglegentia vituperationum, ubi severitas periculosa est, liberalitas ingrata, sermo insidiosus, adsentatio perniciosa, frons omnium familiaris, multorum animus iratus, iracundiae occultae, blanditiae apertae, venientis praetores exspectant, praesentibus inserviunt, abeuntis deserunt! ” 1 2 <?page no="192"?> Book Four 193 of the medicinal syrups that keep those lethal illnesses at bay, which the arrival of the unhealthy season had brought in. 64 We departed immediately, returned to our beds, and went back to sleep. Book Four The following day we got up much earlier than we had the day before so we could visit the rest of the neighborhoods in the city. However, the news had become public that Dynast Alexander had died that night. There was sorrow and mourning all around, and people of every age and rank were flocking to his house to see him. Among those dynasts who were coming and going, one dynast bumped into another one, and they both stopped at once to greet each other in the friendliest manner. Each solemnly declared to the other that no one was more pleasing or dearer to him than he, and each then pledged to the other his unqualified devotion and service, be it labor, effort, or time. Each added, moreover, that no request would be so onerous or so difficult that he would not easily and cheerfully take it up on the other’s behalf. At this point, Gallonius let out a loud guffaw. Astonished, I asked him why he was laughing, to which he replied, “I am laughing because it is not easy to find two souls who are so divided by hatred from one another as these two are. See how these wicked men dissemble, embrace each other, and pledge their mutual aid? In Rome people behave differently. There, hostilities are declared publicly and are out in the open, rather than kept secret and hidden. Here, everyone puts on a friendly face, but many harbor an angry heart. Anger is concealed, while flattery is on full display.” He would have said more about the ways of those two men had a great cry not interrupted him. This caused us to turn around and see a large crowd of children and other people whistling and crying as they followed one lone man, who was pale, filthy, and looked like he had just returned from the dead. “Hey, what’s happening among the dead? ” one person called out. “Do they have taverns and innkeepers there? Do people eat and drink? ” Another shouted, “Why didn’t Orcus want to let you in, if only just to have someone to strike fear into children who refuse to go to school? I ask you, did Pluto not provide you proof of your death? ” Others chimed in, “If only a similar right of return could be granted to Dynast Alexander whom Pluto has just taken from us. But that is something more easily to be wished than hoped for. What an evil deed! This man here, who deserved to be among the shades, has been summoned back to 64 Epidemics of malaria would break out in the summer. 1 2 <?page no="193"?> 194 Eudemia in Ten Books reddidit? ” 185 Alii, “Utinam Dynastae Alexandro, quem modo Pluto surripuit, hoc quasi postliminio ad nos redire contingeret! At hoc est optare quam sperare facilius. O factum male! 186 Hic, quem aequum erat in tenebris esse, ad aspiciendum solem revocatur; ille, qui ob summum vitae splendorem clarissimum patriae suae lumen extiterat, communis lucis usura privatur.” At nos, rei totius ignari, sciscitamur quaenam haec fabula sit. Eorum unus qui in iaciendis ridiculis ceteris argutior videbatur, “Audite,” inquit, “rem ridiculam. Hic qui tanto comitatu domum reducitur, elatus est pro mortuo vivusque in conditorio depositus, ubi sine cibo triduum iacuit.” Quibus auditis horruimus ac maiore etiam exarsimus cupiditate audiendi. Qui fecit huic nostrae cupiditati satis. “Sed antequam,” inquit, “ad rem aggrediar, necesse est ut quid hic hominis sit, vobis aperiam. Hoc, quem nunc videtis placidum, demissum, quietum, non est truculentior quisquam neque flagitiis onustior; quamvis deflexu aetatis, non parum de solita sua ferocitate et impotentia remiserit. Nam antea, supra quam dici potest, erat intemperans, iracundus, ebriosus, elatus, popino; manu et lingua promptus 187 ; in nocturnis bacchationibus princeps; in caedendis verberandisque hominibus dux aliis et magister; in excitanda turba ac seditione movenda prope singularis; in diris vero exsecrationibus nulla de causa in deos immortales iaciendis cuivis longe superior. “At si ex factis praesertim iudicare de hominum ingeniis licet, vel ex hoc uno eius facinore, quo loco ac numero habendus sit, existimate. Cum iuvenis ad pultiphagos 188 venisset (homines barbaros atque a nostris moribus sane remotos), in quodam eorum pago deprehensus interrogatusque quisnam esset, ‘Malum,’ inquit, ‘quod vobis dii dent magnum et maturum, nebulones, sycophantae, latrones! Quid ea res ad vos attinet? Ite hinc in maximam malam crucem.’ Barbari tametsi non intellegerent quae ab eo dicerentur, tamen ex habitu oris, ex ocu- 185 Petron. Sat. 132: “Rogo te, mihi apodixin [non] defunctoriam redde.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 17. 186 Catull. III.16: “O factum male! O miselle passer! ” 187 Sall. Iug. 44: “Sed ubi in Africam venit, exercitus [ei] traditus a Sp. Albino proconsule iners inbellis, neque periculi neque laboris patiens, lingua quam manu promptior.” 188 A comic designation found in Plautus for early Romans who ate mush or a type of spelt porridge (puls) instead of bread (see Plaut. Mostell. III.ii.828: “non enim haec pultiphagus opifex opera fecit barbarous”; and Plaut. Poen. Prologue l. 54: “latine Plautus patruos pultiphagonides”). Drujon supposes that the word in this text designates either Swiss or German people, and IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 18) surmises that it refers to Germans. These are convincing suppositions, since the man in the story is seized in a pagus, a term employed by Caesar, Tacitus, and Ammianus to refer to the districts and cantons of the Gauls and Germans (e.g., Caes. BGall. VI.11, I.12, IV.1, VI.23, VII.64; Tac. G. 39; Amm. 18.2.1). 3 4 <?page no="194"?> Book Four 195 the light, while that man, who was the brightest light of his country on account of the superlative splendor of his life, has been deprived of life.” Ignorant of the whole matter, we asked what the story was. There was one man among them who appeared to be the sharpest at weaving a tale. This man replied, “Listen to this ridiculous story. This man, who is being accompanied back to his house with a large retinue, was thought to be dead and was placed in a tomb while still alive, and he lay there for three days without any food.” We were horrified when we heard this and burned with an even greater desire to hear the story. The man satisfied our desire. “But before I get to it,” he said, “I need to tell you what sort of a man he is. There is nobody more ferocious, more full of disgrace than this man here, whom you see as calm, unassuming, and quiet, though old age has diminished his usual aggressiveness and wild behavior quite a bit. Before this he was, more than can be expressed in words, bad tempered, angry, drunk, arrogant, spoiling for a fight with both his hands and his tongue, a master of nighttime orgies, and a leader and commander to others in killing and beating people up. He had an almost singular talent for whipping up a crowd and inciting riots, and he was far superior to anyone else in hurling frightful curses, for no reason, against the immortal gods. “If it is permitted to judge the nature of a man primarily from his actions, consider what rank and position this man should hold based solely on this one misdeed: When he arrived as a young man among the porridge eaters (foreigners whose customs are vastly different from ours), he was seized in one of their districts and questioned about his identity. He replied, ‘Scoundrels, parasites, thieves! May the evil that the gods bring down on you be great and swift! How is that any of your business? Go and be well and truly hanged! ’ Even though the barbarians didn’t understand what he was saying, they guessed, from his facial expressions and his intent look—and from the force with which he was trying to free himself from their chains—that he was cursing them, and they unanimously decided to cut off his head with a single blow. But behold the fearless nature of this man. While he was being surrounded by their spears and carried off to his death—and even while he had a sword hanging over his neck and sensed he was about to be harmed—he yelled, ‘Come on, you filthy thieves and murderers! I will get my revenge on you good and proper, if I live! ’ But when one of the barbarians, who had taken it upon himself to lop the man’s head off with a single blow of his ax, was not able to complete what he had attempted, he left the man gravely wounded in the neck and thrown to the ground. Because of his very robust health, the man healed from his wound in no time. Furious 3 4 <?page no="195"?> 196 Eudemia in Ten Books lorum coniectu, ex vi qua se eximere ex illorum vinculis conabatur, rati sibi ab eo maledici, statuunt de communi sententia eidem caput uno ictu praecidere. At videte imperterritum hominis animum. Cum inter ipsorum tela versaretur, cum ad mortem raperetur, cum etiam collo suo ferrum imminere, cum se vulnerari sentiret, ‘Agite,’ clamabat, ‘impuri, latrones, carnifices! Vos ego ulciscar probe, si vivam.’ Verum cum eorum unus qui hoc sibi sumpserat, ut uno ictu securis caput illi a cervice repelleret, id, quod conatus erat, non perfecisset, graviter in collo vulneratum et ad terram abiectum reliquit. At ille, quod robustissima valetudine est, ex eo vulnere brevi convaluit. Tanta igitur accepta iniuria, homo iracundus de referenda hominibus sacrilegis gratia sedulo cogitare, in varias cogitationes animum rapere, nullam partem quietis accipere. Sed cum iam pulchre omnia in corde instructa consilia haberet, 189 alacris castra movit atque ad suos hostes ire perrexit. Genus animadversionis cognoscite, 190 et simul admiramini tantum in uno homine fuisse animi ad audaciam. Nocte quadam, intempesta usus opportunitate ventorum, subiecto paucis quibusdam casis igne, totum fere illum pagum antea incendit quam quisquam animadvertere aut animum recipere posset. “Ipse autem noctis beneficio occultatus in hanc urbem incolumis venit, ubi primum a Dynasta Palladio in numerum suorum circumpedum receptus est, tum ab aliis deinceps dynastis pluribus. Sed demum homo inconstans ac levis, aulicam vitam pertaesus, ad uxorem habendam animum appulit. Ne multa: muliercula quadam ducta, locat Virginibus Vestalibus operas suas. Scitis cuiusmodi sit mulierum genus: varium, morosum, superstitiosum, difficile. Ita eum bonae illae virgines exercebant, ut ne minimum quidem tempus quietum esse paterentur. Neque hibernis mensibus dies aliquis tam magna ac turbulenta tempestate erat, quin bis eundem in hortos Placidianos, qui millia quatuor absunt ab urbe ad dynastam, in cuius patrocinio latent, ire compellerent. Quapropter, multorum mensium morbo ex frigore et labore contracto, denique medicorum sententia desperare de salute sua iubetur. Ille ridere ac medicos insanire dicere; se enim tum ipsis, tum liberis suis superstitem fore. “At dum his vocibus dicta medicorum eludit, linqui animo visus est atque interclusus spiritus ita arte meare, 191 ut omnem plane sensum effugeret. Omnia quae solent esse in mortuis signa aderant: pallor oris, corporis totius rigor, nullus sensus. Ergo tanquam mortuo funus curatur ab uxore, cui nihil longius videbatur quam dum cadaver illud domo efferretur. Nam saepe ob impotentiam viri 189 Ter. Phorm. II.ii.321: “iam instructa sunt mi in corde consilia omnia.” 190 Cic. Verr. II.I. XVII.45: “Genus animadversionis videte: quaeretis ex quo genere hominem istum iudicetis.” 191 Curt. III.VI.14: “Interclusus spiritus arte meabat.” 5 6 <?page no="196"?> Book Four 197 that he had suffered such a grave injury, the man carefully considered how he could return the favor and repay those wicked men, weighed various plans in his mind, and could not get a moment’s rest. When all of his plans were nicely drawn up in his mind, he quickly pulled up stakes and made his way over to his enemies. Learn the method of the punishment and, at the same time, admire how much audacity can exist in a single individual. In the dead of night, he took advantage of the wind that was blowing, and, setting fire to a few huts, he burned down almost the entire village before any of his enemies noticed or could get themselves together. “The man, however, hidden with the aid of night, reached our city unharmed. He was taken in by Dynast Palladius as one of his servants and, after that, into the service of many other dynasts. However, this fickle and capricious man finally grew tired of life at court and he set his mind to getting a wife. To make a long story short, he married a young girl and then hired out his services to the Vestal Virgins. You are acquainted with a woman’s character, fickle, hard to please, superstitious, and difficult. Those good Vestal Virgins worked him so hard that they did not allow him any time off. There wasn’t a single day during the winter months, even during a huge or violent storm, that they didn’t force him to walk—twice—to the Placidiani gardens, which were located four miles outside of the city at the estate of the dynast who owned them. 65 Wherefore, from the cold and exertion, he contracted an illness that lasted many months. In the end, it was determined, in his doctors’ opinion, that he should not hold out any hope of getting better. The man laughed, called the doctors crazy, and declared that he would outlive both them and their children. “While he was defying the doctors’ prognoses, he appeared to lose consciousness. His breath was impeded and flowed with such difficulty that he fainted outright. He was showing all the usual signs of someone who had died: pallor, rigor mortis, and loss of his senses. His wife prepared a funeral for the apparently dead man, and she couldn’t wait to get his corpse out of her house. Because of his uncontrollable temper, her husband often spoke quite rudely to her and even 65 Placidiani Gardens possibly refers to Villa Peretti-Montalto and its famous gardens (see Book One, n. 17). 5 6 <?page no="197"?> 198 Eudemia in Ten Books non solum appellabatur superbius, verum etiam pulsabatur acerbius. Tamen, ne in sermonem hominum vituperationemque veniret, non solum lacrimis sed etiam sumptu, ut pauperculae mulieris facultates ferunt, opinione sua extinctum supremo mandavit officio. Advocatis igitur libitinariis, mortuus effertur, in conditorio collocatur, ostium conditorii praecluditur. Vix dies unus intercesserat ab eo die ex quo fuerat sepultura affectus, cum interclusa anima ad vitae officia rediit; experrectusque non una amplius nocte se cum uxore sua cubasse existimavit. Elatoque paululum capite, veniens ab ostio conditorii non bene praeclusi, tenue nescio quod lumen accepit, ac leviter cubito recens ibi positum mulieris cuiusdam cadaver impellens, ‘Heus,’ inquit, ‘Milphidippa (nam id uxori ipsius est nomen), surge atque aperi fenestram! ’ Cui nihil Milphidippa respondit. Tum iterum, ‘Heus,’ inquit, ‘erisne hodie evigilatura? Iam hora sumendae potionis a medico indicta praeteriit.’ Sed surdo fabulam narrabat. Quamobrem commotus, ‘Quid est hoc? ’ ait. ‘Numne ad mortuos loquor? At feminam vide! Antea, cum valebam, semper ante lucem experrecta mihi somnum excutiebat. Nunc, cum nihil opus est somno, in eo tota defigitur.’ Sed cum lectulus ille solito sibi durior videretur, conatus est in alterum latus procumbere, ubi alterum hominis mortui cadaver offendit, quod quempiam uxoris suae moechum esse suspicatus, ‘Facinus indignum! ’ exclamat. ‘Pessima ista mihi ante oculos atque adeo in eundem lectum amatorem suum adduxit! Quid faceret, si me extinctum sepulchrum aliquod tegeret? Et quo me turpius irrideat, simulat dormire.’ Elatusque iracundia, ‘Mox,’ inquit, ‘experiar, an suscitare te possim.’ Arreptoque altero eius crure, coepit eam hac illac impellere. Sed vix crus illud in manus sumpsit, cum a reliquo corpore totum avellit atque distraxit. Quo facto, teterrimi odoris foeditate percussus, plane vehementer exhorruit. Quocirca manibus explorans quaerensque quae circa se essent diligentius, neque aliud nisi tabularum frusta atque ossa mortuorum attingens, tum demum agnovit quorum consederit arvis. 192 Atque, ‘O me miserum! ’ inquit. ‘Sepultus sum vivus. Aperite aliquis conditorium istud actutum! ’ Sed miser ignaras nequidquam haec dixit ad auras, quae nullas audire queunt nec reddere voces. 193 192 Verg. Aen. IV.39: “nec venit in mentem quorum consederis arvis? ” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 19. 193 Catull. LXIV.164-6: “Sed quid ego ignaris nequiquam conquerar auris, / externata malo, quae nullis sensibus auctae / nec missas audire queunt nec reddere voces? ” 7 <?page no="198"?> Book Four 199 beat her rather badly. Nevertheless, so as not to be the target of public gossip and rebuke, she performed the final rites for the man she believed to be dead, not only with her tears but also with as much expense as she, a poor woman, could manage. Therefore, she called in undertakers, and the dead man was carried away, placed in a tomb, and the entrance to the tomb was sealed. After only one day had passed since his burial, his breathing, which had stopped, returned to its life-giving role, and he awoke believing he had been sleeping next to his wife for no longer than a single night. Lifting his head up a little, he perceived a sort of thin ray of light coming from the entrance to the tomb, which had not been properly sealed. Gently nudging the corpse of some woman who had recently been placed there, he said, ‘Hey, Milphidippa! ’ 66 (that was his wife’s name), ‘get up and open the window! ’ Milphidippa did not respond. Again, he said, ‘Hey, are you planning to wake up any time today? I’m already late taking the medicine my doctor prescribed.’ His words fell on deaf ears. Annoyed, he said, ‘What is this? Am I speaking to the dead? Get a load of this woman! Before, when I was well, she always got up before sunrise and shook me out of my sleep. Now, when I don’t need to sleep, she is thoroughly in the grip of it herself.’ Since his bed seemed firmer than usual, he tried lying on his other side, where he bumped up against the corpse of another dead person. Suspecting that it was one of his wife’s lovers, he exclaimed, ‘What a shameful outrage! That wicked, wicked woman has brought her lover here right under my nose—and even into the same bed! What would she do if I were dead and buried? And to mock me even more shamelessly, she is pretending to be asleep! ’ Swollen with rage, he said, ‘We’ll see soon enough if I’m not able to wake you up! ’ He grabbed one of her legs and began shaking her back and forth. Barely had he grabbed her leg in his hands, when it tore off and came away from the rest of the corpse. When that happened, he was hit by the foulness of a repulsive stench, and he was clearly extremely terrified. He then carefully felt around with his hands to see what else was around him, touching only pieces of wood and the bones of dead people, until he finally realized whose lands he had come to rest in. He cried, ‘Alas, I’ve been buried alive! Somebody open up this tomb immediately! ’ But the poor man spoke these words in vain to the senseless air, which was unable to hear or utter any sound in reply. 66 Milphidippa is the name of a maidservant in Plaut. Mil. 7 <?page no="199"?> 200 Eudemia in Ten Books “Verum sive deus aliquis eum respexit, sive casus adiuvit, in diebus paucis, quibus haec acta sunt, baiulus quidam moritur atque in illud idem conditorium infertur. Sed aperto a vespillonibus ostio, clamare qui intus erat coepit, ‘Afferte mihi prandium; nam tertium iam diem sine alimento traho.’ Ad quam vocem exterriti tum vespillones, tum libitinarii, tum pollinctores, abiectis cereis relictoque cadavere, fugae quantum potest sese mandarunt. Non cessabat ille maiore vocis impetu, ut inde extraheretur, clamare, atque ‘Ubinam gentium,’ inquit, ‘sumus? 194 Quod genus hoc hominum, quae gens tam barbara morem exercet? Vivi prohibentur munere lucis? 195 Vel miser hic baiulus fortasse invitavit sese in popina plusculum 196 ; quamobrem in somnum delapsus, antea quam crapulam exhalavit, pro mortuo ad sepulchrum abstrahitur.’ At illi, ubi paululum a timore animum receperunt, revertuntur et cum eo tanquam cum infernis monstris prodigiisque loquuntur. Quibus ille, ‘Luditis me,’ inquit. ‘Ego vivo et esurio.’ Et cuncta ordine narravit. Qui, habita dicenti fide, extractum inde et cibo ac potione refectum, domum ad uxorem reducunt; quae utrum maiore admiratione vel odio corripienda sit, in incerto est. Nam illuc isse virum rata, unde negant redire quemquam, 197 alium ex sententia sua sponsum sibi delegerat.” Hic locus erat interpellandi 198 : “Quam,” inquam, “illa cuperet ut eodem modo mortuorum hic funera curarentur quo Romae curantur, ubi eorum corpora ardentem in rogum coniciuntur! Non edepol nunc illa post funus virum suum domum redeuntem aspiceret.” - “Credo,” ait, “si hic mos iste vigeret, ipsa rogum incendisset ac suis virum manibus in ignem intulisset. Tum, quo omni plane metu solveretur, collectos cineres in profluentem 199 aliquem coniecisset. Atque quod eius est in virum odium, audire eam videor se macerare, invenustam dicere, ac tantum ferundis miseriis natam queri.” Tum ego, “Si,” inquam, “apud vos mortui reviviscunt, iam nemo sit quin malit hic pauper vivere quam alibi reg- 194 Cic. Cat. I.9: “O di inmortales! ubinam gentium sumus? ” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 20. 195 Verg. Aen. I.539-40: “quod genus hoc hominum? quaeve hunc tam barbara morem / permittit patria? hospitio prohibemur harenae.” 196 Plaut. Amph. I.i.283: “mira sunt nisi invitavit sese in cena plusculum.” 197 Catull. III.11-2: “qui nunc it per iter tenebricosum / illuc, unde negant redire quemquam.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 21. 198 Hor. Sat. I.IX.26: “interpellandi locus hic erat.” 199 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 22) refers to Cic. Inv. rhet. II.L.149: “dum culleus in quem coniectus in profluentem deferretur, compararetur.” 8 9 10 11 <?page no="200"?> Book Four 201 “Either some god was looking out for him, or fate came to his aid, but within a few days of this happening, some porter died and was carried into the same tomb. When the pallbearers opened the entrance, the man who was inside began shouting, ‘Bring me some lunch! It’s now been three days that I’ve been in here without any food! ’ The pallbearers, undertakers, and morticians, terrified by his voice, dropped their candles, abandoned the corpse, and ran away as quickly as possible. The man didn’t stop, but he yelled even louder for someone to get him out of there, saying, ‘Where the hell am I? What sort of men, what sort of people are so barbaric as to do this? Are the living to be kept from the gift of light? Perhaps that poor porter had drunk a bit too eagerly to his own health at the tavern and, because of that, had fallen asleep; and before he had slept off his hangover, he was carried into this tomb, as if dead.’ Once the other men had recovered somewhat from their fright, they returned and spoke with him, as if they were talking to monsters and omens from the underworld. He replied to them, ‘You must be joking. I am alive—and I’m hungry! ’ He told them the rest of the story as it happened. Believing the man, they got him out of the tomb, restored him with food and drink, and brought him home to his wife. It was uncertain whether she would be struck more by surprise or resentment. Thinking that her husband had gone to that place whence no one is permitted to return, she had identified, on her own, another man to be her husband.” Here was an opening to interrupt our storyteller. “How his wife must have wished that funerals for the dead were carried out here as they are in Rome where bodies are thrown on a burning pyre! By God, she wouldn’t now be witnessing her husband’s return home after his funeral.” He replied, “If we had that custom here, I reckon she would have lit the pyre herself and carried her husband onto the fire with her own bare hands. Then, in order to be entirely free from fear, she would have gathered his ashes and tossed them into a river. Her hatred of her husband is such that she seems to me to be tormenting herself, saying she is ugly and lamenting that she was born for the sole purpose of enduring suffering.” To which I replied, “If the dead came back to life here, everyone would prefer to live here as a pauper than have a kingdom elsewhere. Indeed, as far as I am concerned, I would not want to spend my life anywhere else.” He said that this is only granted to those who have not yet crossed the Cocytus, because those who reach the far shore of that river are made to lose all memory of this life, along with their hope of ever returning to it. When we had finished, we dismissed him with a laugh and proceeded to tour the rest of the city. 8 9 10 11 <?page no="201"?> 202 Eudemia in Ten Books num obtinere. Equidem, quod ad me attinet, non uspiam velim vitam exigere.” Qui ait hoc iis tantum contingere, qui Cocytum nondum transmiserint. Nam qui alteram eius amnis ripam attigerint, una cum spe redeundi simul cogi omnem huius lucis memoriam amittere. His actis, illum cum risu dimisimus, nos ad perlustranda cetera urbis loca perreximus. Sed tandem defessi ambulando, et quia diei fervidissimum tempus coeperat, domum revertimur. Ubi otiosi quid ageremus, non habebamus. Nam neque prandii tempus advenerat, neque prius Gallonio potestas discumbendi dabatur quam dynastae ipsius confectum esset prandium mensaeque sublatae. Itaque minus nobis molestas antemeridianas illas horas elapsuras existimavimus, si eas cum Gallonio in illius dynastae aula traduxissemus, ubi facile multa sese oculis atque auribus obiecissent, quae nos cum voluptate aliqua detinerent. Eo igitur imus, procoetonem intramus, in unum eius angulum soli secedimus. At boni illi familiares, more suo consumendi otii causa ad feriendam uniuscuiusque existimationem linguae gladios exeruerant. Ac primum notae cuiusdam mulieris famam lacerare coeperunt. Tum alteri spectatae sanctitatis viro inveteratam illam probitatis ac fidei opinionem abrogare aggressi sunt. Erat unus ex illis referens memoriter omnium eius urbis meretricum nomina; atque earum multitudine, quae erat innumerabilis, ac memoriae vi, quae erat incredibilis, Cyrus videbatur, qui lustraret exercitum ac suo quemque militem nomine appellaret. 200 Alter convivatorem sordidum diris devovebat quod sturnum pro turdo, vaccinam pro vitulina ipsi in prandium apposuisset. Sed postquam non erat quem amplius laederent, defessi maledicendo in Dynastam Alexandrum sermonem contulerunt; quem omnium medicorum opinione maturius extinctum affirmabant, praesertim cum neque aetate confecta atque insuper robusta corporis firmitate esset. Tum quaerebant quemnam rex amplissimo illi muneri, quo fungebatur, suffecturus esset ex iis, qui tantae spei imminebant, atque unusquisque prout eius studium ex amicitia vel spe aliqua utilitatis flagrabat, alium alii anteponebat. Sed dum sermones caedunt, 201 comparet unus in procoetone honesta facie, sed oculis in terram demissis; quem statim omnes adeunt, ambiunt, circumstant et honorem nescio quem nuper adeptum gratulantur. Atque unus prae ceteris amore in eum ac benevolentia prope dilabi ac diffluere videbatur adeo, ut in- 200 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 23) refers to Val. Max. VIII.7 ext. 16: “Cyrus omnium militum suorum nomina … ediscendo … ut sine monitore exercitum salutaret.” 201 Ter. Haut. II.iii.242: “dum sermones caedimus.” 12 13 <?page no="202"?> Book Four 203 At last, we returned home because we were tired of walking and because the hottest time of the day had begun. We had some free time and nothing to do. It wasn’t lunchtime yet, and Gallonius wasn’t allowed to recline at the table before his dynast had finished his own lunch and the tables had been cleared. We reckoned that the morning hours would be less tedious for us if we could spend them with Gallonius at his dynast’s house, where many things would be readily available for us to see and hear and to entertain us with some delight. We headed over there, entered the anteroom, and withdrew by ourselves into a corner. The good servants, as they are wont to do to pass their free time, unsheathed their tongues like swords in order to destroy everyone’s good name. First, they began to slander the reputation of a certain well-known woman, then they undertook to strip another man, one of admirable virtue, of his long-standing reputation for honesty and loyalty. One of the servants recounted, from memory, the names of all of the city’s prostitutes. Because of their number, which was beyond count, and because of the power of his memory, which was unbelievable, he seemed like Cyrus who, while reviewing his army, could call on each soldier by name. Another servant was savaging the stingy host with curses because he was serving starling instead of thrush for lunch and beef instead of veal. After there was nobody left to insult, and when they had grown tired of slandering, they began talking about Dynast Alexander. They confirmed, based on the opinion of all the doctors, that he had died before his time, especially since he was not very old and, moreover, was in robust physical shape. Next, they asked which man, from among those who were holding out such hope, would succeed Alexander as rex [sacrorum] in that most distinguished office he used to hold. Each one of them favored a certain person over another, according to the enthusiasm that each candidate excited in him, either out of friendship, or hope for some sort of favor. While they were chatting, a man appeared in the antechamber. His face was honest but his eyes were cast downward on the ground. All of the servants immediately approached him, walked around him, stood around him in a circle, and congratulated him on some honor or other he had recently received. One of them, more than the others, seemed almost to melt and float away out of love and goodwill toward the man, so much so that at times he cried and at times hesitated, as if he did not possess a vocabulary sufficient for declaring the magnitude of his love. Gallonius was amazed and was stifling his laughter with 12 13 <?page no="203"?> 204 Eudemia in Ten Books terdum collacrimaret, interdum haesitaret, tanquam si verba ad declarandam amoris magnitudinem apta non suppeterent. Gallonius mirari ac sudario risum compescere. Qui tandem ad nos accedens, “Non potest,” inquit, “dici, quos isti mihi cachinnos extorqueant. Videtis eum, cui tot gratulationes habentur? Hic paucis diebus ante apud nostrum dynastam multum auctoritate et gratia valebat, adeo ut eius consilio et auctoritate domi omnia administrarentur. Quae illi res magnam invidiam concitavit multorumque paravit insidias. Quas ille animadvertens, satius esse duxit sponte loco decedere quam cum ignominia moveri. Verum ne tam honorem deposuisse quam permutasse videretur, impetravit a dynasta in beneficio et gratia aliam provinciam, in speciem quidem honestam atque magnificam, sed re ipsa totam nugatoriam ac levem. Venit igitur miser, ut dynastae gratias agat. Sed movet mihi risum in primis ille, qui ita docte simulatione benevolentiae odium suum obtendit. Nam hoc homine nemo est illi capitalior neque infestior inimicus. Atque eius praesertim opera inductus ac depravatus est dynasta invidia atque obtrectatione commodi ac laudis eiusdem. Vide, obsecro, ut malus simulat, ut blanditur subdole, ut frigidam malitiose suffundit.” 202 Interea prosilit unus in medium atque, “Est mihi,” inquit, “in cubiculo oenophorum vini praestantissimi frigidissimique, quo nullum hac aestate dixerim me gustasse suavius. Flos vini est, Liberi lepos, 203 atque una opera palatum vellit ac mulcet.” - “Opportune,” ait alter, “nam ex quo surrexi, nondum villi quidquam exhausi, et quod diei tempus sit, vides.” - “Mihi quoque,” subdidit alius, “siccae siti fauces arent; quas nisi propero vino conspergere, 204 in pulverem abeant.” Apprehensaque Gallonii dextera, “Sitim,” inquit, “sedatum eamus. Etenim te ea etiam enectum aspicio, et simul experiamur an vera sint, iste quae memorat.” 205 Gallonius morem gerit, sequitur, et nos una quoque. Itaque omnes in cubiculum illius irruunt, oenophoro vim afferunt atque uno paene haustu omnem animam intercipiunt. Erat ibi olla ad ignem apposita, agninis carnibus plena, nondum satis excoctis. Has eorum unus ex aula diripit, in patinam infert atque etiam tum fervidas aufert in ventrem. Alter frustulatim panem in patina secat, supra ius inicit, caseum minute concisum aspergit, piper addit, devorat. At ille, qui vinum laudaverat, facti poenitens, quia prandium suum diripi videbat, “Quan- 202 Cf. Plaut. Cist. I.i.33-5: “eas si adeas, abitum quam aditum malis, ita nostro ordini / palam blandiuntur, clam, si occasio usquam est, / aquam frigidam subdole suffundunt.” 203 Plaut. Curc. I.ii.96-8: “Flos veteris vini meis naribus obiectust, / eius amor cupidam me huc prolicit per tenebras. / ubi ubi est, prope me est. euax, habeo. / salve, anime mi, Liberi lepos.” 204 Plaut. Curc. I.i.80: “eaque extemplo ubi<ubi> vino has conspersi fores.” 205 1637: “ … experiamur an vera sint. Iste, quae memorat, Gallonius morem gerit … ” 14 <?page no="204"?> Book Four 205 a handkerchief. He finally came over to us and said, “I can’t tell you how much these people make me laugh. You see that man receiving all of those congratulations? A few days ago, he was very powerful, thanks to his authority and influence over our dynast, so much so that all of the affairs in our household were administered according to his counsel and judgment. This elicited a great deal of jealousy and led many people to plot against him. Noticing this, he reckoned that he had better step down of his own accord rather than be deposed in disgrace. But in order to make it seem like he had resigned rather than been replaced, he asked the dynast, out of favor and goodwill, for another position that seemed, at least on its face, to be distinguished and noble but was, in fact, utterly nugatory and insignificant. And so that poor man has come to thank the dynast. But the one who makes me laugh most of all is that man there, who is hiding his hatred so skillfully behind a pretense of goodwill; for there is no more pernicious or dangerous an enemy than he to that other man who relinquished his position. Our dynast has been particularly taken in by this man’s efforts and misled by the jealousy and attacks on that other man’s status and reputation. I ask you to observe how that evil man dissembles, how he pretends to flatter while maliciously pouring cold water on him.” In the meantime, someone rushed into our midst and said, “I have in my room a jug of excellent and very chilled wine. I’d say that I have not tasted a more pleasant wine this summer than this one. It is the king of wines, the darling of Bacchus, and it will tickle and soothe your tongue at the same time.” - “Perfect timing,” said another, “because, you see, I haven’t had a single sip of wine since I got up this morning—and you see what time it is! ” Another man added, “My parched throat is also burning with thirst. If I don’t sprinkle it with wine quickly, it will turn to dust.” Grabbing Gallonius by the right hand, he said, “Let’s go quench our thirst. I see you are also dying of it, and, at the same time, we can find out whether he’s telling the truth.” Gallonius complied and followed him, and we tagged along. Everyone rushed into the man’s room, attacked the wine jug, and blotted out their minds with barely one draft. There was a pot placed near the fireplace, full of lamb that was not yet done cooking. One of the men stole the meat out of the room, put it on a plate, and put it in his belly while it was still hot. Another man cut slices of bread onto his plate, poured broth over it, sprinkled grated cheese on it, added pepper, and devoured it. The man who had been praising his wine regretted what was happening, because he saw his lunch being plundered, and he exclaimed, “Since we have lit the funeral pyre, why don’t we also just burn up the day on it almost to its navel and happily eat our lunch? ” - “Let’s do that,” said the man who was devouring the broth-soaked bread. “Each person should request that, whatever he was having prepared for himself for lunch, it should be brought in and served to everyone.” Everybody 14 <?page no="205"?> 206 Eudemia in Ten Books doquidem,” inquit, “rogum incendimus, cur non etiam hunc diem ferme ad umbilicum mortuum 206 in eo comburimus, ac laeti prandemus? ” - “Sic agamus,” inquit ille qui panem ex iure vorabat. “Iubeat unusquisque afferri quae sibi in prandium paraverat et in commune conferri.” Placuit omnibus ratio. At, “Ego commeatum,” inquit Gallonius, “spondeo, quod satis sit mihi atque istis duobus hospitibus meis.” Affert interea rumor dynastam prandium poscere. Ad quam vocem Gallonius excitatus accurrit quaeque opus sunt parat, neque ita multo post revertitur plenus reliquiarum. Etenim dynasta, quia crudior erat, nihil praeter iusculum degustaverat, cetera intacta reliquerat. Quo viso, mirabiliter sunt animi convivarum recreati et unusquisque deos rogabat ut, quoties sibi cum Gallonio discumbendum esset, dynasta crudus existeret. His dictis, omnes cum risu soleas ponunt, lectos inscendunt. Qui risus duplicatur interventu cuiusdam litterati, quem pridie inter academicos illos me vidisse memineram. Hunc esse aiebant philosophum summum, oratorem egregium, quique auderet in conventu poscere qua de re quisque vellet audire. Sed hominem voluptarium et conviviis flagitiisque deditum conclamant omnes ut adeat, soleas exuat, discumbat. Qui non patitur diu se rogari, sed statim ascendit ac summus accumbit. Itaque hilariter estur, bibitur. Sed ubi saburrati recte sunt omnes, 207 inducitur sermo de mulieribus eius civitatis, quas, paucis exceptis, criminibus avaritiae impudicitiaeque coarguunt. At ego, ne mutus viderer, “Ex omnibus,” inquam, “orbis terrae matronis nullas arbitror Romanis castitate pudicitiaque anteire; plenae sunt omnes historiae, plena antiquitatis memoria.” Tum philosophus ille, qui hos sermones lacessiverat, “Tu mihi videris,” inquit, “in historiis Romanorum sane rudis atque hospes, qui non legisti quid Sallustius, Romanae princeps historiae, de Fulvia, de Sempronia ac de multis eius aevi mulieribus scriptum reliquerit. Vel, si haec non noris, ne ad aures quidem tuas pervenere quae super ea re Horatius, Romanae fidicen lyrae, 208 cecinerit? Cuius ego versus possum tibi recitare memoriter: “Motus doceri gaudet Ionicos matura virgo et fingitur artubus, iam nunc et incestos amores 206 Plaut. Men. I.ii.154-5: “Age sane igitur, quando aequom oras, quam mox incendo rogum? / dies quidem iam ad umbilicum est dimidiatus mortuos.” 207 Cf. Plaut. Cist. I.ii.121: “quae ubi saburratae sumus.” 208 Hor. Carm. IV.3.23: “Romanae fidicen lyrae.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 25. 15 16 <?page no="206"?> Book Four 207 liked that idea. Gallonius said, “I pledge enough provisions for myself and for my two guests.” In the meantime, word arrived that the dynast was asking for his lunch. Gallonius hopped to it and rushed to prepare whatever was needed. He returned shortly thereafter full of leftovers, because the dynast was suffering from a touch of indigestion and had not eaten anything besides his broth, leaving the rest of the food untouched. When they saw that the strength of the dinner guests had been restored, each of them asked the gods if that dynast could come down with indigestion every time they dined with Gallonius. When they had finished talking, they all laughed as they took off their shoes and reclined at the dining couches. The laughter increased when a certain scholar joined in, whom I recalled having seen the day before at the Academy meeting. They said that he was a great philosopher, an outstanding orator, and someone who dared to ask at a gathering what anyone wanted to hear. 67 They all called on the man—who was keen on pleasure and devoted to parties and lustful behavior—to approach, take off his shoes, and recline at the table. He didn’t need to be asked twice but walked right over and sat at the head of the table. They ate and drank joyfully. When they were all thoroughly stuffed, a discussion was introduced regarding the women of that city whom, with few exceptions, they found guilty of the crime of greed and promiscuity. In order not to seem like I had nothing to say, I said, “Of all the women in the world, I reckon that none surpass Roman women in terms of chastity and modesty. All of the histories are full of examples, as is the collective memory of antiquity.” The philosopher challenged my words, saying, “To me you seem like someone utterly unschooled in, and a stranger to, Roman history, and who has not read what Sallust, the foremost historian of the Romans, left us in writing regarding Fulvia, Sempronia, and many other women of that era. 68 Even if you do not know these things, has what Horace, player of the Roman lyre, sung on this subject not even reached your ears? I can recite his verses to you by heart: “The girl who has just reached puberty enjoys taking lessons in Ionian dancing and is trained in the arts that go with it; even at this stage she contemplates illicit love affairs with total absorption. In due course, when her husband is in his cups, she looks for 67 Possibly Kaspar Schoppe (1576-1649), a German humanist and scholar. This is the same philosopher who subjects Flavius Vopiscus Niger and Paulus Aemilius Verus to his teaching methods later in this book. 68 Descriptions of Fulvia and Sempronia are found in Sall. Cat. 23 and 25. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 24. 15 16 <?page no="207"?> 208 Eudemia in Ten Books de tenero meditatur ungui. Mox iuniores quaerit adulteros 5 inter mariti vina, neque eligit cui donet impermissa raptim gaudia luminibus remotis, sed iussa coram non sine conscio surgit marito, seu vocat institor, 10 seu navis Hispanae magister, dedecorum preciosus emptor. 209 Potuitne magis diserte proiectos mulierum Romanarum ad omnem libidinem et intemperantiam mores exprimere? ” Tum ego, deprehensus quemadmodum me expedirem non inveniebam, sed quo aliquid responderem, “Quid ais,” inquam, “de Lucretia? Nonne omnium pudicarum coryphaea dici iure optimo potest, quae Tarquinii iniuriam ita in se graviter animadvertit? Quid potuit facere elegantius mulier cupida existimationis bonae quam ereptae sibi pudicitiae dolorem voluntaria morte testari, tanquam si nulla ea vita sit, quae a pudicitia spiritum non ducat.” - “Longe alia mea est opinio de Lucretia,” inquit ille, “atque ea quae in animis omnium inveteravit. Ego enim nullam illi virtutem, nullam continentiae laudem assigno. Nam a Tarquinio oppressa vel consensit stupro, vel non. Si consensit, immerito principem inter pudicas locum usurpat. Si non consensit, cur maluit violata sibi necem afferre quam intacta a Tarquinio necari? Fortasse, inquies, quo se pudicitiamque suam existimationi hominum vindicaret. Nam si statim Tarquinio iugulum praebuisset, ideo ab eo interempta putaretur, quod cum servo adulterium commisisset. Ergo erat aliquid quod sibi magis cordi esset quam pudicitia, nempe hominum existimatio. Nam si sola virtute duceretur, quae praeter conscientiam, nullius praeterea testimonium desiderat, quid de se homines loquerentur non admodum laborasset. At si ad intimum huius facti cubile penetremus, ab hoc suspicionis aditu ianuaque patefacta, aliquod fortasse latens in eo crimen inveniemus. Quomodo enim Tarquinius potuit, concubia nocte, penetrare in cubiculum mulieris multis (ut fit verisimile) pessulis clausum? Quomodo custodes mulieris fallere? Cur a Tarquinio oppressa non exclamavit? Ita enim familia tota accurrisset ac scelerosus ille vel incepto destitisset vel, si Lucretiam reluctantem enecasset, multos sceleris sui, multos pudicitiae illius testes fecisset.” Nullum fecisset finem 209 Hor. Carm. III.6.21-32. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 26. 17 18 <?page no="208"?> Book Four 209 younger lovers; but she does not select some man to whom she may hurriedly give forbidden pleasures when the lamp has been removed; on the contrary, when sent for quite openly, she gets up, with her husband’s full connivance, whether the caller is some salesman or the captain of some Spanish ship who pays a high price for such degradation. 69 Could he have expressed more eloquently the character of Roman women so prone to wantonness and excess? ” I was now trapped and could not see a way out. By way of giving some response, however, I asked, “What have you to say about Lucretia? 70 Cannot she, who called attention to Tarquin’s crime against her the way she did, most rightfully be called the first among all chaste women? What could a woman, who is desirous of a good reputation, do more eloquently than bear witness, with her suicide, to the pain of having her chastity taken from her, as if a life that does not draw its essence from chastity holds no value.” - “My assessment of Lucretia is completely different from that which has taken hold in the collective imagination,” the philosopher responded. “In fact, I ascribe no virtue to her, or praise for her restraint. 71 When Tarquin assaulted her, she either consented to the rape, or she did not. If she consented to it, she is undeservedly given pride of place among chaste women. If she did not consent to it, why did she prefer to kill herself after being violated rather than be killed by Tarquin while still a virgin? Perhaps, you will say, it was to defend herself and her chastity 69 Hor. Carm. III.VI.21-32. Translation from Horace and Rudd 2004. 70 The story of Lucretia is found in Liv. I.LVII-LIX. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 27. 71 The challenge that the philosopher mounts to Lucretia’s famed chastity is similar to St. Augustine’s criticism of Lucretia’s actions in City of God, 1.19, where he maintains that, if Lucretia was not a willing participant in the sexual encounter with Tarquin, she was not guilty of adultery because she was chaste in her heart; therefore, taking her own life makes Lucretia the murderer of an innocent woman (herself). Moreover, if her desire to kill herself was out of a sense of pudicita to protect her reputation as an upstanding Roman woman, then she is also guilty of pride and not to be lauded as an example to Christian women. Rossi also argues against Lucretia’s chastity in a dialogue titled De verecundia in Dialogorum volumen alterum (Coloniae Ubiorum: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium, 1649). Gerboni (1899: 72) notes that Giambattista Marino casts similar doubt on Lucretia’s chastity in L’Adone (11.53-7) as does Tassoni in La secchia rapita (VIII.66-75). 17 18 <?page no="209"?> 210 Eudemia in Ten Books dicendi philosophus, multo Liberi flore completus, nisi exorta inter convivas turba dicentem interpellasset. Erat unus in iis, ut postea animadvertimus, eius notae hominum, qui cibum e flamma praeripiunt. Hic precibus extorserat ut in illum gregem admitteretur, sed vix lectum conscenderat, cum coepit ad omnes patinas procaces manus extendere atque lectissimos ex iis bolos excerpere, tanquam si sibi soli prandium illud esset appositum. Ecce autem, primis escis assumptis, gallina Indica magno in catino porrecta succenturiatur, iis condita condimentis, ut nidore suo non latentem modo famem evocaret, verum etiam demortuam excitaret. Homo aequissimus, tanquam si de ea captus esset iudex, accito puero, quem suis imperiis praesto habebat ad ianuam, indicta causa, obvoluto eam capite domum suam auferri in exilium iubet, atque antea se exulem insons aspexit quam posset de defensione cogitare. Quo viso, ceteri convivae mirari, inter se aspicere, atque ad eius impudentiam sine voce ac sine ullo sensu haerere. Sed hilaritas, quae praeoccupaverat mentes, nullum dabat iracundiae locum, sed omnes, dissimulato dolore, in suscepta festivitate perseveravere. Iam convivium properabat ad exitum, cum testuacea placenta, 210 in repositorio collocata, tanquam in exodium prandii proponitur. Ut ille, qui gallinam Indicam aliam capere civitatem iusserat, advenientem eam aspexit, fecit ingenium suum atque illi miserae imperat ut domum suam in exilium eat ac vestigiis iisdem gallinam Indicam sequatur. Praesto adest puer, qui obtorta gula eam abripiat. 211 Tum vero victa est convivarum 210 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 28) refers to Varro, Ling. V.106: “Testuacium, quod in testu caldo coquebatur.” 211 Cic. Verr. II.IV.X.24: “quem obtorta gula de convivio in vincla atque in tenebras abripi iussit.” 19 <?page no="210"?> Book Four 211 in public opinion. Because, if she had immediately offered her neck to Tarquin, people might have thought he killed her because she had committed adultery with her servant. Therefore, there was something more important to her than her chastity: her reputation, obviously. If she had been guided solely by virtue, which does not require the testimony of anyone besides one’s own conscience, she would not have cared so much about what people said about her. But if we delve into the innermost recesses of this matter, with the gates fully opened through this avenue of suspicion, we can perhaps find some crime lurking in it. How was Tarquin able to gain entrance to the woman’s bedroom in the dead of night, which was most likely locked with many bolts? How did he get past the woman’s guards? Why did she not cry out when Tarquin assaulted her? Her entire household would have come running, and that wicked man would have either abandoned his plan, or, if he had killed Lucretia while she was resisting him, she would have made it so there were many witnesses to his crime and to her own chastity.” The philosopher would never have stopped talking, filled as he was with the flower of Bacchus, if a ruckus that had erupted among the dinner guests had not interrupted him. There was one man among them who, as we later realized, was the sort of person who steals food off the grill. By begging, he had forced them to admit him into their group, but as soon as he climbed onto a couch, he proceeded to reach his pushy hands into every platter, grabbing the best sausages of the lot, as if the lunch had been placed there just for him. After he had consumed the first round of dishes, a turkey hen was then recruited, which had been arranged on a large serving dish. The turkey hen was seasoned in such a way that, with its aroma, it would not only have roused a sleeping appetite, but would have even resurrected a dead one. This very just man, as if he had been called upon to judge the turkey hen, summoned his servant, whom he had stationed at the entrance ready to do his bidding. When he had convicted the turkey hen, he covered its head and ordered it to be exiled to his house; and the innocent bird realized that it had been banished before it could even think about mounting a defense. Having witnessed this, the dinner guests were astonished, they looked at each other, and they were transfixed in a state of silence and incomprehension by his shamelessness. The hilarity that had occupied their minds earlier left no room for anger, but everybody hid their pain and continued with the ongoing festivities. The feast was just about coming to an end when a dessert baked in an earthen pot was carried out on a tray, placed on the table, and presented as the grand finale of the lunch. When the man—the one who had ordered the turkey hen to move to a new town—saw the dessert approaching, he acted according to his nature and ordered the poor thing to be exiled to his house, following in the footsteps of the turkey hen. His servant, who was standing by, grabbed 19 <?page no="211"?> 212 Eudemia in Ten Books patientia et simul omnes, “Enimvero hoc non est ferendum! ” exclamant. Sed cerebrosior unus, “Nunquam hodie, me vivo, haec placenta mutabit coloniam! ” 212 Abreptamque ad se coepit attrahere; ille retrahere ac vim sibi fieri dicere. Verum omnium minis perterritus, eorumque qui ipsi assidebant obiurgationibus correptus, se demum ab incepto removit et in cubitum reposuit. 213 Confecto prandio, unus ex convivis, cui alea vita erat, talos poscit ac philosophum in aleam provocat. Nos, cum somnus invaderet, surreximus atque in domum Gallonii perreximus, ubi pomeridianum illud tempus partim legendo, partim quiescendo transmisimus. Sed cum iam calor remisisset, “Eundum est nobis,” inquit Gallonius, “in aedem Daphnes, quo universus hic populus hodie conveniet. Nam inde nobilissimus ille dynasta extinctus magnificentissimo funere efferetur in aedem a se aedificatam, ut sepulturae mandetur. Nam mos hic est defunctos in aedibus deorum humare.” At ego, “Duc nos,” inquam, “eo; nam nihil est quod magis visendum existimemus.” Ne multa: domo egressi ad aedem Aesculapii venimus, quam magna refertam turba videmus. Intramus atque inter cereos quatuor positum adolescentis cadaver aspicimus. Rogat Gallonius quisnam sit ille mortuus, quidve illi ad eum concursus velint. Respondetur eum esse Philotam quendam, cuius amore duae illae mulieres adolescentes paucis diebus ante interiissent. Nam eundem, earum intellecta morte, animum despondisse, ex eaque aegritudine in eo nosocomio vita migrasse. Quaero ex Gallonio quem ille Philotam, quas mulieres narret. Qui, “Res,” inquit, “digna est auditu; sed eam plane ita uti se habet, explicare non possum.” - “Ego,” ait unus, “vobis narrabo, si causa est cur audiatis; atque in verba conferam quam paucissima.” At ego, “Narra nobis,” inquio, “nec verbis parce; nam rem gratissimam feceris.” Quamobrem ille sic exorsus est. “In oppido quodam insulae, huic regno finitimae, ubi Theridates rex summa cum laude iustitiae rempublicam gerit, virgo erat nubilis, Olinda nomine, genere et copiis haud quidem summis, sed vultu adeo eleganti, adeo venusto, ut oculos in se omnium alliceret. Sed in primis Philotae, eius civitatis longe primi, ita ad se animum attraxit, ut vitam illi miseram et insuavem efficeret. Cum igitur amore 212 Cf. Plaut. Aul. III.vi.575: “ut me deponat vino, eam adfectat viam, / post hoc quod habeo ut commutet coloniam.” 213 Hor. Sat. II.IV.39: “languidus in cubitum iam se conviva reponet.” 20 21 <?page no="212"?> Book Four 213 the dessert by the throat and snatched it away. At that point, the man had exhausted the patience of the dinner guests, and everybody cried out in unison, “This surely will not be tolerated! ” One of them, more enraged than the others, yelled, “This dessert will relocate over my dead body! ” He grabbed hold of it and began bringing it toward himself. The other man pulled it back saying that this would constitute an attack against him. Intimidated by everyone’s threats and chided by those sitting around him, he finally backed off of his plan and leaned back onto his elbow. When the lunch had concluded, one of the dinner guests, who lived for gambling, asked for some dice and challenged the philosopher to a game. Since sleep had come over us, we got up from the table and headed off to Gallonius’s house, where we spent the afternoon partly reading and partly resting. When the heat of the day had already subsided, Gallonius said, “It’s time for us to go to the Temple of Daphne, where the whole populace is gathering today. From there, that most noble Dynast Alexander, who has passed away, will be borne in a magnificent funeral procession to the shrine that he himself had built in order to be buried there. It is the custom here to be buried in temples of the gods.” I said, “Take us there. I reckon there is no more important a sight for us to see.” In short, we left the house and came to the Temple of Aesculapius, which we saw was jam-packed with an enormous crowd. We went in and saw the body of a young man placed in the midst of four candles. Gallonius asked who the deceased man was, and what the meaning was of all those people crowded around him. The response was that the young man was a certain Philotas, for the love of whom those two young women there had died a few days before; and that Philotas, upon learning of their deaths, fell into a depression and died in the hospital from his affliction. I asked Gallonius what he could tell us about Philotas and about those women, and he responded, “The story is worth hearing, but I am not able to tell you exactly what happened.” Another person said, “If there is reason for you to hear it, I will recount it to you, and I will tell it to you in as few words as possible.” I replied, “Do tell us, and don’t spare any details. You will be doing us a great favor.” On that account, he began. “In a certain town, on an island very close to this one, where King Theridates rules over his state with the highest respect for justice, there lived a virgin of marriageable age, named Olinda, who was not from the best or richest family, but was so refined and beautiful that she caught everyone’s eye. In particular, she attracted the attention of Philotas, a preeminent man in that community, such that she made his life miserable and unpleasant. Because the poor man was consumed with love and sadness, he did what it might have occurred to anyone to do; that is, he allied himself in partnership and friendship with the maiden’s father. His plan was successful, for he won the father over entirely within a 20 21 <?page no="213"?> 214 Eudemia in Ten Books ac maerore miser contabesceret, fecit id quod cuivis venisset in mentem, 214 ut parentem virginis societate amicitiaque sibi coniungeret; in quo fuit felix, nam totum hominem brevi possedit. Verum cum eius domum ventitaret atque oculis, vultu, voce denique ipsa amorem virgini suum significaret, parem in ea voluntatem ardoremque (id quod raro contingit) invenit. “Itaque, usi licentia, quam eius regionis mos tribuit, non cessabant inter se amplexari oscularique. Sed cum eorum oscula modum excederent, coeperunt esse suspecta parentibus Olindae, cupidis in primis existimationis bonae. Quamobrem ab homini nobili atque id aetatis pudicitiae filiae non parum metuentes, aliquo eam praesidio munire constituunt. Sed cum nullum sit tam firmum praesidium, quod non longa obsidione demum hostis expugnet, consuetudinem filiae cum adolescente dirimere statuunt eumque domi suae finibus quantum potest expellere. Ne multa: adolescentem adeunt; quid de eius amore compertum habeant, edocent; ostendunt quam perniciosum futurum sit filiae, si propter ipsum in sermonem hominum veniat. Orant, obsecrant ne tantam illi infamiam creet, sed eius conspectum atque adeo totam illam domum effugiat. Respondet adolescens nullum se voluisse virgini dedecus, nullam ipsius contumeliam imponere; iam inde ab initio coniugium animo concepisse; hac nuptiarum fiducia, multa sibi persuasa habuisse. Rogat, instat ut eam uxorem sibi despondeant. Illi non aequam esse suam factionem cum factione illius ostendunt: se modicis opibus ac mediocri nobilitate esse; illum summis opibus ac summo genere natum; rem esse periculosam repente ab asinis (ut dicitur) ad boves ascendere. 215 Proinde aliam sibi conditionem, alias nuptias quaereret. Postremo, cum magis exoraret, ita Philotas ab eis discedit, ut qui rem etiam atque etiam consideraturos et cum parentibus ipsius sermocinaturos affirment. Non procrastinant; Philotae parentes adeunt, rem narrant. Illi gratias agunt; consilium dant ut Olindae sponsum quamprimum inveniant. Sunt omnes eius regionis ad subita et repentina consilia propensi. “Itaque parentes Olindae statim illi virum inveniunt, adolescentem quidem nobilem, sed nihil ad Philotam. Nuptiae statim fiunt, aguntur omnia raptim atque turbate. Verum tam praeceps consilium adeo impendentem vim malorum 214 Cic. Verr. II.I.LI.136: “statuunt id sibi esse optimum factu, quod cuivis venisset in mentem, petere auxilium a Chelidone.” 215 Plaut. Aul. II.ii.235: “Hoc magnum est periculum me ab asinis ad boves transcendere.” 22 23 <?page no="214"?> Book Four 215 short period of time. Indeed, since he visited her home frequently, signaling his love to her with his eyes, face, and his very voice, he discovered the same desire and love in her (which rarely happens). “Thus, enjoying the freedom that the customs of that region permit, they could not stop hugging and kissing each other. When their embraces exceeded the bounds of moderation, however, they began to come under suspicion from Olinda’s parents, who were particularly desirous of a good reputation. For which reason, fearing greatly for their daughter’s chastity at the hands of a man, who was both highborn and at that age, they decided to protect her with a guard. But since there is no fortification so strong that it cannot eventually be overcome by an enemy’s unrelenting siege, they decided to cut short their daughter’s relationship with the young man and drive him as far away as possible from the boundaries of their household. In brief, they approached the young man, informed him of what they had discovered regarding his love, and explained how damaging it would be for their daughter if she came to be the subject of common gossip on his account. They begged and pleaded with him not to bring such dishonor on her, but to flee from her sight and from their home altogether. The young man responded that he did not want any shame to come to her, nor to cause her any injury himself; that he had already intended to marry her all along; and that he had been led to many of his actions by his confidence in their future marriage. He asked, nay insisted, that they promise her to him as his wife. Her parents pointed out that their social status was not equal to his; that they were of modest means and middling nobility, while he was born to the greatest riches and the most noble parentage; and that moving up so suddenly from asses to cows, so to speak, was a very dangerous proposition. They then asked him to seek out another match, other nuptials. Since he kept insisting, Philotas departed with them promising to continue to reflect on the matter and to speak with his parents. They wasted no time. They went to Philotas’s parents and told them everything. His parents thanked them and suggested that they find Olinda a husband as soon as possible. (Everyone in that country is at the ready with rash and hasty advice.) “Olinda’s parents immediately found her a husband, a noble youth to be sure, but nothing compared to Philotas. The wedding took place immediately, and everything was done quickly and carelessly. But this hasty plan did so little to keep the looming force of misfortune away from Olinda’s ruin that it actually came upon her even more swiftly. Her marriage did not diminish the reciprocal love between Olinda and Philotas, and Philotas could be spotted at all hours of the day in front of Olinda’s house—and not without grave offense 22 23 <?page no="215"?> 216 Eudemia in Ten Books ab Olindae peste non repulit, ut in eam etiam celerius attraxerit. Nam eo connubio mutuus ille inter Olindam et Philotam amor nihil remissior est factus. Atque omnibus horis Philotas ante aedes Olindae conspiciebatur, non sine viciniae atque adeo gravi ipsius viri offensione. Qui per amicos Philotam admonendum curavit ut, nisi malam rem quaereret, eas regiones prorsus effugeret. Erat in Philota, ut in plerisque nobilium, contemptor animus et superbia. Ergo negligere ac pergere illac progredi. Hac insolentia permotus, vir Olindae die quadam transeuntem eum, neque dum tale aliquid suspicantem, lato gladio caedit et in fugam conicit. Nolite quaerere quantas haec tam insignis iniuria homini iracundo et in primis elato faces admoverit. Amenti similis domum accurrit, gladium arripit, revertitur, inimicum suum etiam tum in ostio stantem aggreditur eundemque fortissime dimicantem sub oculis suae Olindae transverberat. Res illico in iudicium adducitur; adolescens tota insula conquiritur, sed ille iam evolarat atque huc recta contenderat. At iudex quaestionis impulsu affinium, clamantium Olindam fuisse illi caedi caput, eam abripi et in carcerem condi imperat. Ergo misera e complexu parentum ad tribunal iudicis, e geniali thoro in carcerem rapitur. “Sed vix intro in carcerem pedem tulit, cum ad alterum eam saxum nova tempestas afflixit. Etenim non in misericordiam modo prolapsus est custodis carcerum animus, sed amore vinctae exarsit. [Scitis quam: ] noctu ad mulierem adit; ut sibi morigera sit, rogat; eam se ducturum uxorem domum affirmat; dexteram in id quod spondebat, obligandae fidei causa, praebet. 216 Respondet illa non esse tum ei rei locum, neque decere miseram, sordidatam, in iudicium capitis adductam ac de vinculis dicere causam coactam prope funestas nuptias facere; exspectaret dum e vinculis eximeretur. His sermonibus aegre ab ea homo ille repellitur. Sed cum cupido magis instaret, ab amore (seu potius a furore) consilium mutuatur. Equum comparat, zonam cum viatico sumit seque fugae cum Olinda committit. Ubi in quandam silvam ventum est, custos carceris, cui nihil longius videbatur quam dum in Olindae complexum irrueret, simulata lassitudine ex equo descendit seque in eam cupide reicit. Illa eum a se repellere, neque adhuc se esse liberam dicere. Ille orare ut sibi subveniret, ut ferret morienti auxilium; multaque id genus addere, sed nihil proficere. Facinus minari, 217 tantundem. Ubi eam videt nihilo magis minis quam precibus permoveri, ad vim confugit atque extorquere ab ea complexum nititur. Illa repugnat, unguibus ac dentibus petit; sed iniqua concertatio quae cum valentiore suscipitur. 216 Cf. Liv. XXX.XII. “Data dextra in id quod petebatur obligandae fidei in regiam concedit.” 217 minari incipere 1637 24 <?page no="216"?> Book Four 217 to the neighborhood and to Olinda’s husband himself. In fact, her husband made sure to warn Philotas, through friends, that he had better flee the country entirely, unless he was asking for trouble. As with many noblemen, Philotas displayed a scornful character and arrogance, so he ignored Olinda’s husband and kept visiting her house. Driven by Philotas’s disrespectful behavior, Olinda’s husband, when he came across him one day (and when Philotas was least expecting it) struck Philotas with the flat of his sword and forced him to flee. Do not ask what fire this egregious insult ignited in that furious and, above all, proud man. Philotas rushed home like a madman, grabbed his sword, came back, approached his enemy who was standing at the gate and, as the husband struggled mightily, stabbed him right in front of Olinda. The matter was brought to judgment on the spot. They searched for Philotas around the entire island, but he had already escaped and come straight here. But the judge overseeing the case, at the urging of Philotas’s relatives—who were insisting that she had masterminded the murder—ordered Olinda to be seized and thrown in jail. Thus, the poor woman was taken from her parents’ embrace to a courthouse, and from her happy marriage bed to jail. “Olinda had barely set foot inside the jail, however, when a new storm flung her onto another rock. The prison warden’s heart not only inclined toward pity for the prisoner, but also burned with love for her. Listen to how much: He came to her at night urging her to oblige him, and he declared that he wanted to bring her home as his wife, offering his right hand as a pledge of faithfulness to his promise. She responded that this was not the right place for such a pledge, nor was it fitting for a wretched, shabby girl, brought up on capital charges and forced to plead her case in chains, to enter into what would practically be a doomed marriage. She suggested he wait until she was released from chains. But the man was not easily rebuffed by her words. Since his passion was increasing, inspired by love (or rather by madness) he changed plans. He bought a horse, grabbed the bag containing his traveling money, and ran away with Olinda. When they arrived at a certain forest, the warden, who couldn’t wait to rush into Olinda’s arms, feigned exhaustion, dismounted from his horse, and flung himself passionately into her embrace. She pushed him away saying that she was still not available. He begged her to help him, to bring aid to a dying man, and he continued in this vein, but to no avail. He threatened her with violence but the outcome was the same. In any case, when he saw that she was moved no more by threats than by pleading, he resorted to force and attempted to wrest an embrace from her. She fought him off by attacking him with her fingernails and teeth. But a match is unequal if taken up against a mightier opponent. 24 <?page no="217"?> 218 Eudemia in Ten Books “Iam nulla ad resistendum ratio supererat, iam prope erat ut succumberet, cum nova res victoriam illi certissimam attulit et pudicitiam in tuto constituit. Dum luctat, animadvertit homini pugionem in zona pendere. Tum alacris furtim eductum, eius lateri quantum potest infigit seque ita ambitiosissimis odiosi illius amplexibus expedit. Iam vero quid faciat? Quid consilii capiat? Sola est, mulier, adolescentula; nullus neque amicus, neque comes; loca aspera, deserta, devia. Non despondet animum, non abicit, verum ad superius alterum virilis audaciae facinus addit. 218 Muliebre vestimentum exuit, virile ex misero illo detractum induit, marsupium eripit, equum conscendit atque amatorem suum, ubiubi ille sit, invenire constituit. Sed ad tantum iter viaticata admodum aestive erat. 219 Etenim nondum ex insula pedem extulerat, cum pauxillulum illud nummorum, quod invenerat in marsupio, consumpserat, insuper equum vendiderat. Quamobrem fuit illi necesse homini cuidam nobili operas suas pro ephebo locare. Ecce autem novas tricas, nova incommoda. “Erat illi filia virgo nubilis, forma non mala; cuius ad oculos simul ac recens ephebi pulchritudo pervenit, tantum etiam cordi confecit ardoris, quantum maximum capere pectus virginis potest. Sed illa nihil amabat; fumum atque umbram persequebatur. At primo amorem suum ephebo oculis, vultu significare. Olinda, in amoribus longe robustioribus occupata, non animadvertere. Tum illa, adolescentem existimans in amore rudem ac tardum, voce exponere quod vultu intellegeret minus, atque orare ut sibi suppetias laboranti sufferret. Olinda, quae sibi esset conscia auxilium quod expetebatur, apud se non inveniri, risu dicta virginis excipere. Illa se illudi existimans, ‘Quid est,’ inquit, ‘quod rides? Num propterea tibi deridiculo sum, quia pereo? Ah, ne saevi tantopere! ’ Tum Olinda, ‘Ubi,’ inquit, ‘me noveris, continuo omnis de me amor effluxerit et amori odium successerit. Sed obsecro, si quid amas, ne patri neque cuiquam mortalium indicium facias. Mihi non magis virilis sexus inest quam matri tuae, quam tibi. In manu tua est, quod minus credis, experiri. At si quid istuc ornati sit quaeris, 220 dicam: Amor me et capitis periculum in has vestes coniecit, ac virum mentiri coegit.’ Ac protinus, unde esset, quem amaret, quem occidisset, quo tenderet, cuncta ordine narravit. Postremo orare coepit ut auxilium sibi nummarium, cuius esset in primis egens, afferret, hoc est, ut se viatico iuvaret huc properantem. Quid? Existimatisne eam, hac re tam inopinata percussam, spem vel amorem 218 Sall. Cat. 25: “Sed in eis erat Sempronia, quae multa saepe virilis audaciae facinora conmiserat.” 219 Plaut. Men. II.i.254-5: “quom inspicio marsuppium, / viaticati hercle admodum aestive sumus.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 29. 220 Ter. Eun. II.ii.237: “quid istuc inquam ornatist? ” 25 26 <?page no="218"?> Book Four 219 “There was already no way left for her to resist, and she was close to succumbing, when a new development brought her certain victory and secured her chastity. While she was struggling, she noticed a dagger hanging from his belt. Acting quickly, she stealthily drew it out and drove it as far as possible into his side, freeing herself from that hateful man’s eager embrace. What should she do now? What could her plan be? She was alone, a woman, very young; she had no friends or companions; and she was in a harsh, deserted, and remote location. She did not lose heart, she did not despair. Instead, she added another crime to her previous one—one that took a man’s courage. She removed her women’s garb and dressed herself in the clothes she had taken off that wretched warden. She grabbed his bag, mounted his horse, and resolved to find her lover, wherever he might be. But she was only equipped as a summer traveler for such a journey. She had not even set foot off the island when she had already used up the small amount of money she had found in the bag, and she had sold the horse besides. Because of this, she needed to hire herself out as a squire to a certain nobleman. This brought new troubles and new headaches. “The man had a maiden daughter who was rather pretty. As soon as the fresh beauty of the squire caught the daughter’s eye, it caused the greatest fire in her heart that a maiden’s breast could bear. But the daughter was in love with something that did not exist; she was chasing after smoke and shadow. She signaled her love to the squire, at first with her eyes and then with her face. Olinda, who was seized by a far stronger love, paid her no notice. The maiden, believing that the youth was just inexperienced and slow in the matters of love, expressed with words what the squire was not grasping from her glances, and she begged him to bring her aid in her state of distress. Aware that she could not offer the sort of love the maiden was after, Olinda responded to her words with laughter. Believing she was being mocked, the maiden responded, ‘What are you laughing at? Am I a ridiculous sight to you because I am dying? Don’t be so angry! ’ Olinda then responded, ‘When you come to know me, your love for me will immediately vanish, and hatred will take its place. I beg you, if you love me at all, not to breathe a word to your father, or to any living soul. There is no more of the male sex in me than there is in you or your mother. If you don’t believe me, it is within your power to find out. But if you inquire what the meaning of this garb is, I will tell you: love and mortal danger cast me into these clothes and forced me to pretend I was a man.’ She immediately told the maiden where she was from, whom she loved, whom she had killed, where she was going, and everything else as it happened. Finally, she began to implore the maiden to help her with money, which was what she was most in need of; that is to say, travel funds so she could quickly get to where she was going. What? Do you think the maiden, hit with such surprising news, cast out her hope or 25 26 <?page no="219"?> 220 Eudemia in Ten Books animo abiecisse? Nihil minus, imo utrumque constantissime tenuit. Credo quod in fabulis legisset, vel ex aliqua anicula audisset, olim nonnullam ex femina in virum fuisse conversam. Existimabat idem illi, quam amabat, posse contingere. Sed attendite quo progrediatur. In Olindae complexum ruens, affirmat se sine ea nunquam unum diem esse victuram. ‘Ecquae mihi vita,’ inquit, ‘expetenda est, si a te divellar? Nulla quidem certe. Bono animo es; mihi certum ac deliberatum est tecum una proficisci eandemque fortunam subire.’ Multa dixit Olinda quo virginem de sententia deiceret, sed laterem lavit. 221 Quid multis moror? 222 Auro, argento aliisque preciosis rebus convasatis, postridie, cum parens rus isset, una cum Olinda huc versus castra movit. “Quo celeriter secundo anni tempore perveniunt, et ad cauponem ambae divertunt. Licebat eas cernere virili cultu tota passim urbe pervagari ac formae praestantia omnium ad se oculos rapere. Quam multos fuisse putatis qui eas sub illo ornatu puellas esse contenderent? Sed eius in primis facies enitebat, quae amatorem suum quaeritatum advenerat. Sed iam omnia odoranti investigantique suboleverat eum in hac urbe versari. Quamobrem, hisce leviter pressis vestigiis, eum secuta, tandem, proh dolor, invenit iam aliquot dies immersum in ganeo meretrici cuidam operam dare. Ergo dolore amens, ‘Itane, Philota,’ inquit, ‘prorsus oblitus es mei? Ergo frustra tantum laborem, tantam infamiam cepi? Dum propter te patria carens, impudicae cuiusdam more perambulo; tu interea loci te oblectasti ac meretricios amores nuptiis praeposuisti? ’ Illico despondet animum, morbumque ex aegritudine contrahit. Rem incredibilem: ubi haec aegra fit, continuo illa altera aegrotare incipit; huic morbus augescit, fit illi etiam amplior; postremo haec moritur, mors itidem illam alteram occupat; ambarumque cadavera eodem die, eodem funere, eodem feretro in aedem Cupidinis elata sunt atque una eademque sepultura affecta ut, quarum animos amor in vita iunxisset, mors distrahere non potuisset, earum corpora unum atque idem sepulchrum haberet. 221 Ter. Phorm. I.iv.186: “Loquarne? incendam: taceam? instigem: purgem me? laterem lavem.” 222 Cf. Ter. An. I.i.114: “Quid multis moror? ” 27 <?page no="220"?> Book Four 221 love from her mind? Not in the least. On the contrary, she clung to both most firmly. She believed what she had read in fairy tales, and what she had heard from old wives’ tales, that, once upon a time, there were women who had been transformed into men. 72 She reckoned that the same thing could happen to this woman whom she loved. But listen to how the story went. Rushing into Olinda’s arms she insisted that she could not live even one day without her. ‘What life can I aspire to if I am separated from you? None at all, I’m sure! Cheer up! I am resolved and determined to go with you and to endure your same fate.’ Olinda said many things to dissuade the maiden from this decision, but it was like talking to a brick wall. To make a long story short, they packed up gold, silver, and other precious objects, and, since her father had left for his country estate, they decamped and came here. “They arrived quickly because of the favorable season, and they stopped together at an inn. You could see them dressed in men’s clothing wandering throughout the entire city, their outstanding beauty attracting everyone’s attention. How many people do you suppose would have maintained there were women under those clothes? But it was the one who had come in search of her lover whose appearance stood out the most. After looking everywhere and investigating everything, Olinda determined that her lover was here in this city. She easily traced his footsteps and finally found him (alas! ) ensconced already for some days in a brothel and showering his attention on some prostitute. Out of her mind with grief she cried, ‘Philotas, have you completely forgotten about me? Did I take on so much effort and humiliation for nothing? It is because of you that I am without a homeland and have been wandering around like a woman with no honor. Meanwhile, you’ve been busy having fun and placing the love of a prostitute before our marriage! ’ She immediately lost hope and became weak from illness. Incredibly, when one woman became sick, the other woman immediately started to fall ill too, and when the sickness in one increased, it also grew in the other. Finally, when one woman died, the other likewise died the same death. The bodies of both women were carried to the Temple of Cupid on the same day, in the same funeral procession; and one and the same burial was conducted so that the same tomb would hold the bodies of those women whose souls love had joined together in life, and which death could not put asunder. 72 Examples of ancient tales about women being transformed into men: Iphis (recounted in Ov. Met. IX.666-797) and Leucippus of Crete. In Noctes Atticae IX.IV. pr.1 Aulus Gellius describes miraculous instances “de feminis repente versis in mares” (“of women suddenly being transformed into men”), which, in his view, gives credence to Pliny the Elder’s assertion (HN VII.4) that “ex feminis mutari in mares non est fabulosum” (“women turning into men is not just the stuff of fables”). 27 <?page no="221"?> 222 Eudemia in Ten Books “Redeo ad Philotam, qui tantum mali insciens dederat. Qui simul ac certior est factus (nam Olinda ferme iam moriens rem omnem narraverat) continuo exanimatus ad aedes Olindae contendit, commodum cum ea iam effereretur, et fusus in lacrimas, ‘Ergo, mea voluptas, tibi mortis causa fui? Nunquam me tantum a te amari intellexi. Me miserum, non potuisse me tali ingenio frui! Sed itidem de te aegritudo mihi vitam eripiet. O praeclarum 223 e vita discessum, si in tuo complexu animam efflare licuisset! ’ Atque ibat ut sese in Olindae cadaver abiceret; sed aegre retentus, demum inde pro mortuo in domum amici ac popularis cuiusdam sui refertur. Sed cum morbus augesceret nec satis diligenter curari videretur, idem amicus in hoc nosocomium perferendum curavit, ubi viri nobiles apto in loco victu ac ceteris rebus quam commodissime habentur. Verum propter anni tempus grave, locum multitudine aegrotantium refertum invenerunt. Quamobrem tantisper, dum aliquis convalesceret, fuit eum necesse inter plebeculam collocare. Homo nobilissimus ac suae civitatis primus, cum se inter faecem urbis coniectum vidisset, tanta vi aegritudinis oppressus est, ut illo ipso die sit mortuus. Hic fuit finis amantium. Itaque, ut videtis: Durius in terris nihil est, quod vivat, amante; nec, modo si sapias, quod minus esse velis.” 224 Excierat nobis lacrimas funestus miserorum amantium casus atque erat aliquid quod volebam percontari, sed praeripuit mihi clamor puerorum, admonentium appropinquare pompam funeris, quo dynasta mortuus efferebatur. Ad quas voces ille accurrit et nos etiam cupidos videndi secum attraxit. Erat totum illud agmen instructum hoc modo: anteibant pueri puellaeque, quarum magnus erat numerus, quas illius misericordia sustentabat. Sequebantur collegia varia, quae in eius tutela latebant. Hos excipiebant candidati complures, qui inflexa ad miserabilem sonum voce 225 diis manibus flebile carmen atque funestum canebant. Tum ad cereos circiter quadringentos efferebatur dynastae cadaver in lecto purpura auroque constrato. Funus, honoris gratia, prosequebantur dynastae ceteri, qui praeeuntibus ipsorum familiaribus, ac praeterea magno assectatorum numero, bini incedebant. Ordinabant agmen designatores non pauci, stipati lictor- 223 1637 edition does not have the exclamatory O 224 Prop. II.XVII.9-10. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 30. 225 Cic. De or. II.XLVI.193: “at idem inflexa ad miserabilem sonum voce.” 28 29 30 <?page no="222"?> Book Four 223 “Let me return to Philotas, who had unknowingly committed such a terrible deed. As soon as he found out about it (since Olinda had already revealed the whole story as she was dying), out of breath he hurried immediately to Olinda’s house after she had just then been carried out. Dissolving into tears, he cried, ‘So, my heart, I was the cause of your death? I never understood that you loved me that much. Woe is me, that I had not been endowed with such insight! But my sickness over you will strip me of my life too. Departure from this life would have been wonderful, if it had allowed me to breathe my last in your arms! ’ He went to throw himself upon Olinda’s body and could hardly be restrained. He was carried away from there, as if dead, to the home of a friend and compatriot. Since his illness was increasing, and it seemed like he could not be cared for with sufficient attention, this same friend saw to it that he was carried to this hospital where noblemen are attended to as comfortably as possible, in a suitable place with food and other amenities. However, on account of the disagreeable season, 73 they found the hospital filled to the brim with sick people. Because of this, it was necessary to place him among the commoners until someone in this hospital recovered. When this most noble man, eminent in his community, saw himself cast among the dregs of the city, he was overcome by such a violent sickness that he died that very same day. This was the end of the lovers. Thus, as you see, There is no one on earth that lives a harder life than the lover, and no one that, if you were wise, you would less wish to be.” 74 The mortal fate of these poor lovers made us cry, and there was something I wanted to ask about, but I was distracted by the keening of children that alerted us to an approaching funeral procession, in which the deceased dynast was being carried. Gallonius rushed toward those voices and brought us with him because we were eager to see it. The entire procession was organized as follows: boys walked in front, along with a large number of girls, all of whom had been supported by the charity of the deceased. Next came the various guilds that had been under his protection. Many mourners dressed in white followed them singing a doleful and mournful song, modulated to a plaintive tone, to the gods of the underworld. Then the body of the dynast was carried, accompanied by around forty candles, on a bier that was covered in gold and purple cloth. As a sign of respect, the rest of the dynasts, walking in pairs, followed the funeral procession, after all the members of their own household, and a great number of attendants, had gone on ahead. Quite a few ushers, surrounded by lictors 73 Summer was peak season for illnesses like malaria (see Book Four, n.-64). 74 Prop. II.XVII.9-10 (translation from Horace and Goold 1990). 28 29 30 <?page no="223"?> 224 Eudemia in Ten Books ibus atratis. Quacunque funus pergeret, personabant viae fletibus, percrepabat caelum eiusmodi vocibus 226 : “Nunc tempus lacrimas, nunc querimonias et tristi gemitus fundere carmine; nunc tempus, nitida veste recondita, atrum sumere pallium. Eheu praepropero funere concidit, 5 sicut flos rapido turbine sternitur, ille insignis 227 Alexander et inclutus, qua sol surgit et occidit. Non sic monte super condita prominet Urbs vel fax nitet, ut pectore candido 10 illius probitas, iustitia, et fides fulsit nudaque veritas. O mors, docta prius falce recidere 228 indignos obitu et linquere pessimos, tu tantos potuisti fera cernere 15 luctus illacrimabilis? Nec te longa piorum agmina civium moverunt, querulis sedula vocibus deplorantia tolli sibi opem suis fidam rebus in arduis? 229 20 Clamabant alii, ‘Quis tunicas dabit, 226 Rossi originally composed the following poem, titled “In obitum Alexandri Peretti Cardinalis Montalti S.R.E. Vicecancellarii,” on the occasion of the death of his employer Cardinal Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto. He published it in his collection of letters after a 1634 letter addressed to Girolamo Aleandro (Ep. ad div. 1.IV.XXVI). 227 ingens 1637, 1645. The emendation to the more metrical insignis is from the corrigenda in 1645. 228 Prop. II.XIX.11-2: “illic assidue tauros spectabis arantis, / et vitem docta ponere falce comas.” 229 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 31) refers to Hor. Carm. II.3.1. 31 <?page no="224"?> Book Four 225 dressed in black, were overseeing the procession. Wherever the funeral procession went, the streets resounded with cries and the heavens rung out with words like these: “Now is the time for pouring forth tears, plaints, and lamentations in sad song. Now is the time to don a black cloak and hide your bright clothes. Alas, Alexander—that eminent and renowned man on whom the sun rose and set—has died an untimely death, like a flower scattered about by a fast whirlwind. Rome itself, founded atop a hill, does not stand as high, nor does a torch burn as bright, as honesty, justice, faith, and unvarnished truth shone in his pure heart. O death, long accustomed to cut down with your scythe those who did not deserve to die, while leaving the worst people untouched, were you able (you savage! ) to witness such grief without pity? Did the long train of pious citizens not move you, who were incessantly lamenting, with mournful voices, that the aid, which they and their loved ones depended on in hard times, was being taken away? Others were crying out: ‘Who will provide the clothes that will keep the cold at bay from their naked bodies? ’ The widows were demanding: ‘Who will share their meal with sons who have lost their father? ’” 31 <?page no="225"?> 226 Eudemia in Ten Books queis nudo fugiant frigora corpori? ’ instabant viduae, ‘Quis pueris patre orbis prandia dividet? ’” Haec atque alia his similia complura palam de eo praedicabat benevolens populus. Quamobrem omnium consensu tum est iudicatum, homini saepenumero ad gloriam plus prodesse fortunam quam laborem vel industriam; siquidem vir ille, qui tam faustis vulgi acclamationibus mortuus exciperetur, sine multis litteris, nulla fere rerum gestarum gloria, sola opinione liberalitatis beneficentiaeque eum sibi plausum confecisset. Sed inter caetera illud etiam felicitati ipsius tribuebatur, quod in summa rerum omnium abundantia, nondum alteram fortunam expertus, excessisset e vita. 230 Animadvertimus inter perpetuas publici luctus querimonias fratris filii laudes admisceri. Hunc vitae integritate et elegantia, praeterea optimarum artium studiis, patrui dignitatem et gloriam antecessurum iactabant. Sed diei tempus admonebat ut de cena cogitaremus. Quocirca Gallonius servum suum obsonatum misit. Interim perductus est ad nos nauclerus quidam, qui perendie a prandio, si ventus operam dedisset, explicaturus erat vela 231 in insulam (ut aiebat) amoenissimam feracissimamque. Cuius insulae cives essent homines quieti, hilares, iucundi, voluptarii; itaque de naulo cum illo convenimus. Postea abire coepimus ad fontem ibi proximum, calorem discussuri qui membris inhaeserat. Sed quidam raeda vectus inhibuit. Qui magna voce inquit, “O te ipsum, Galloni, volebam. Quaeso, nisi est negotium, paululum da mihi operam; etenim te convento opus est.” - “Ubi libet,” inquit Gallonius, “tuus sum.” At ille proxime ad Gallonium accedens, pauca illi quaedam in aurem instillat rogatque ut dynastae suo refundat. Postremo interrogat nos unde veniamus. Respondet Gallonius, “Ex aede Daphnes, quo duos istos adolescentes, populares meos, adduxi, homines nobiles ac litteris deditos, qui etiam heri magna cum voluptate academicis exercitationibus interfuerunt.” Ille ad nos conversus, “Quam vellem,” inquit, “ibi ante quindecim dies affuissetis! Nam elegantibus sane verbis ostendi solida omnia esse perspicua, terraeque elementum ab his inferioribus perductum ad caelum usque pertendere.” Tum petiit a me si quid in ea audissem elegans atque facetum. Qui, “Multa,” respondi; sed in primis me mirabiliter delectasse Hieronis ingenium, quod ex culice, nihili bestiola, tantam vim laudum 230 Cf. Liv. IX.XVII.5: “Iam primum, ut ordiar ab ducibus comparandis, haud equidem abnuo egregium ducem fuisse Alexandrum; sed clariorem tamen eum facit quod unus fuit, quod adulescens in incremento rerum, nondum alteram fortunam expertus, decessit.” 231 Plaut. Mil. IV.viii.1317: “Orant te, ut eas, ventus operam dum dat, ut velum explicent.” 32 33 <?page no="226"?> Book Four 227 The kindhearted townspeople publicly proclaimed these and similar things about Dynast Alexander. For this reason, it was unanimously decided, then and there, that it was often good fortune rather than hard work or diligence that helped men achieve glory. That dynast, who was being praised so favorably by the people upon his death, had drawn applause based solely on the reputation of his generosity and benevolence, even though he was not very learned and had not achieved any glory from his deeds. Among other things, his good fortune was attributed to the fact that he died when he had not yet experienced any other circumstances. 75 We noticed that words of praise for Alexander’s nephew 76 were mixed in with the unceasing cries of public mourning. They boasted that, because of the integrity and propriety of his life, and especially because of his study of the best arts, the nephew would surpass his uncle in dignity and glory. The time of day reminded us to think about dinner, so Gallonius sent his servant to go shopping. In the meantime, a ship’s captain was introduced to us who was going to set sail in two days (if the winds proved favorable) for an island that everyone said was very beautiful and fertile, and whose inhabitants were peaceful, cheerful, delightful, and pleasant. We came to an agreement with the captain on a fare for the voyage. Afterward, we proceeded to head out to a nearby fountain so we could shake off the heat that was sticking to our bodies, but someone riding in a carriage blocked our way. In a loud voice the man said, “Gallonius, just the person I’ve been looking for! Please, if you are not busy, give me your attention for a bit. I must meet with you.” - “Whenever you like,” replied Gallonius. “I am all yours.” Approaching Gallonius, the man whispered a few words in his ear and urged him to pass them on to his dynast. He then inquired where we were just coming from. Gallonius responded, “From the Temple of Daphne where I had taken these two young men, my compatriots. They are noble men, devoted to letters, and they participated with great pleasure yesterday in our academic endeavors.” Turning toward us, the man said, “How 75 That Rossi’s Latin is inspired by this passage in Livy is fitting, since it is about Alexander the Great and is similarly hedging in its outright praise of an important figure. Just as Livy tempers his praise by saying that Alexander died young (implying that he may not always have remained a great leader), Rossi tempers his praise by stating that Dynast Alexander had not actually accomplished much beyond being a generous patron. 76 Francesco Peretti di Montalto (1597-1655), nephew of Alessandro Peretti di Montalto, was elevated by Urban VIII to the cardinalate in 1641. 32 33 <?page no="227"?> 228 Eudemia in Ten Books eruisset, deinde egregiam Gallutii adolescentis indolem ad poësin vehementer probasse. “Fortasse illud,” inquit, “carmen recitavit, in quo veris laudes exponit. Legi ego illud; nam eius mihi parens ostendit. Sed quemnam potissimum tibi visus est imitari? ” - “Virgilium arbitror, principem poëtarum.” - “Istuc,” ait, “in eo mihi displicuit; et sane doleo celere atque sublime optimi adolescentis ingenium apud Virgilii tarditatem humilitatemque religatum detineri, nec audere se altius attollere.” - “Quid ais? ” inquio, “tibine Virgilius serpere humi videtur? ” 232 “Tibi quoque idem videatur,” ait, “ubi mea perlegeris.” Tum, “Tu igitur,” inquam, “doctior quam Virgilius? ” - “Doctior? ” inquit. “Quid est quod ais? Sane pudeat me Virgilianis similes versus efficere et, si imperarem, ex omnibus eum bibliothecis amoverem, nullius ingenii minimaeque doctrinae auctorem. Audi quod ego de eodem argumento conscripsi, atque aude Virgilianam inopiam cum mea beatissima rerum verborumque copia conferre: “Ver ubi constituit brumae fera bella rigentis atque elementorum diras compescere rixas, ecce nitens alto vestigia promit Olympo, quaque movet gressus, manibus dat lilia plenis. 233 Atque Deae nares Zephyrus suspendit odore, 234 5 floribus ac viridi depicta tapetia fronde substernit niveis fausto cum murmure plantis. Tunc elementa Deae venientis lumine ponunt arma suasque petunt raptim conterrita sedes; 232 Cf. Hor. Ars P. 28: “serpit humi tutus nimium timidusque procellae.” 233 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 32) refers to Verg. Aen. VI.883: “Manibus date lilia plenis.” 234 Alain de Lille, Anticlaudianus 1.71-3: “Quicquid depascit oculos vel inhebriat aures, / Seducit gustum, nares suspendit odore, / Demulcet tactum, retinet locus iste locorum.” This is the first of five almost direct quotations from Alain de Lille’s allegorical work 34 <?page no="228"?> Book Four 229 I wish you could have been there two weeks ago! I demonstrated, in elegant terms, that all solid objects are transparent and that the element earth, when separated from the lower elements, extends up to the heavens.” Then he asked me if I had heard anything elegant and witty in that gathering. I responded that I was wonderfully entertained by many things, but especially by the ingenuity of Hiero, who elicited from a gnat, an insignificant insect, such a fertile opportunity for praise; and I enthusiastically seconded the young Gallutius’s talent for poetry. He then said, “Perhaps he recited the poem in which he expounds his praise for spring. I read it because his father showed it to me. But which poet did he seem to you to imitate most? ” - “Virgil, I believe, the prince of poets.” To which the man replied, “On that score, he has disappointed me. It pains me to see the quick and sublime talent of that excellent young man being stymied by its connection with the sluggishness and baseness of Virgil, not daring to elevate itself higher.” - “What are you saying? ” I replied. “Does Virgil seem to you to crawl on the ground? ” 77 - “He would also seem to you to crawl on the ground if you read through my poetry thoroughly,” he responded. Then I said, “So you are more learned than Virgil? ” - “More learned? ” he said. “What are you saying? I would be embarrassed to compose verses that were anything like Virgil’s; if I were in charge, I would remove him, that talentless and barely educated author, from all libraries. Listen to what I wrote on that very same subject, and dare to compare Virgil’s barrenness with my rich abundance of subjects and vocabulary: “Once Spring has resolved to bring an end to the fierce wars of frozen winter and to the dreadful clash of the elements, behold, shining, she displays her footsteps on tall Mount Olympus, and, wherever she walks, she offers lilies with full hands; and Zephyrus catches the goddess’s nose with his fragrance and, with a welcome murmur, lays down a tapestry painted with flowers, green fronds, and snow-white plants. Next the elements, under the gaze of the approaching goddess, lay down their arms and, subdued by fear, quickly seek out their places; the battalions of hateful winter give the order to decamp and, sluggish, they do not dare fight back on equal terms, but they bring new battles to a different region of the earth. Spring hurls a bolt of love from her brow and disperses swollen rage from the hearts of warring peoples; fake kisses of a false peace take over, together with pretend love joined with feigned concord, which 77 The Latin phrase humi serpere (to crawl on the ground) is used to refer to poetic style that is dull and does not rise to lofty heights. See Hor. Epist. II.I.250, Hor. Ars P. 28. Erasmus (Adagia 2.10.88) defines the phrase this way: “Humi serpit oratio, quae pressior humiliorque est quam oportet, semper quasi iacens, nunquam assurgens” (“speech crawls on the ground if it is plainer and in a lower register than it needs to be, as if it it always remains dull and lifeless and is never lofty or soaring”). 34 <?page no="229"?> 230 Eudemia in Ten Books invisaeque hiemis conclamant vasa, phalanges, 10 nec segnes audent aequo decernere Marte, sed nova diversum comportant bella sub axem. Illa supercilio iaculatur fulmen amoris deque animis tumidas pugnantum discutit iras, ficta quibus falsae succedunt oscula pacis 15 et simulatus amor, iunctim et concordia mendax, quam fera post hiemis tempestas verbere pellat frigoris, expulsum revocans in regna furorem. Interea risus proscribit nubila caeli. Fulmina nec rigido nec spicula grandinis 235 arcu 20 funditat 236 ira Noti, sed divitis aura Favoni praegnantis gremium telluris mollibus implet guttarum gemmis rutilans spargitque decore. Ast ubi laeta parit funditque puerpera flores, ipsa laboranti Lucinae munia praestat. 25 Post lustrat, solio residens regina nitenti, agmina plantarum totis sibi subdita terris. Destinat atque igni, renuit quae ferre tributum germinis et fructus Naturae solvere nescit. 237 Continuo accurrunt omnes in veste virenti; 30 atque haec omniferam festinans curva reductis Anticlaudianus de Antirufino. The first book of the Anticlaudianus contains a description (beginning at l. 55) of Nature’s garden, an idyllic and beautiful place, providing Rossi with ample vocabulary and phrases to describe the beauty of spring. It is amusing that this blowhard man arrogantly declares himself superior to Virgil and shows off his “rerum verborumque copia” by quoting directly from de Lille, who, with this digression on Nature’s house, places himself solidly in the tradition of the bucolic poetry in the Virgilian vein. 235 Anticlaudianus 1.69-70: “Non ibi bacchantis Boree furit ira, nec illic / Fulminat aura Nothi, nec spicula grandinis instant.” 236 Amm. XXIV.4.16: “creberrima spicula funditantes.” 237 Anticlaudianus 1.87-8: “Exilium patitur arbor quaecumque tributum / Germinis et fructus Naturae solvere nescit.” <?page no="230"?> Book Four 231 the savage season of cold winter later beats back with icy cold blows summoning their anger, which had been banished, back into power. In the meantime, her laughter forbids any rain clouds in the sky, and angry Notus ceases to hurl lightning bolts, or darts of hail, from his rigid bow. Instead, Favonius’s fertile breeze, glowing red, fills the pregnant earth’s womb with soft beads of dew, sprinkling it with beauty. But when the goddess happily gives birth, producing and scattering flowers, she surpasses laboring Lucina 78 in her duties. Afterward, sitting on her shining throne, the queen inspects the armies of plants under her command throughout all the lands. She also condemns those plants of hers to the fire, which are not able to pay a profit of seed and fruit to Nature. Everyone suddenly rushes in, clothed in green, and she, hurrying, bends over and, pulling back her hands, marks the all-sustaining earth. She raises her head, veiled in branches, and kisses the clouds. So as to appear limpid in its snow-white vestments, the river, after ridding itself of foreign sediment and returning to a pure element, clothes itself completely in brightness. Behold, her roving retinue of flowers places grateful kisses on the goddess’s hands; the lovely rose, surpassing all the rest, bears on its face the mark of modesty. All the while the songbirds, the lovely lutenists of the countryside, rush willingly toward Spring’s footsteps, and everywhere they pour forth sweet songs from their melodious throats, which she, thirsty, avidly drinks down with her ears and, tipsy, lies down, won over by languid sleep.” 78 Goddess of childbirth. <?page no="231"?> 232 Eudemia in Ten Books signat humum manibus; caput haec ad sidera tollit velatum ramis et nubibus oscula figit. Candidus ut niveis se vestibus inferat, amnis ad puri remeans elementi iura nitorem 238 35 induit, in totum peregrina faece solutus. Ecce cohors florum vaga prodit ut oscula donet grata Deae manibus, forma quos praeterit omnes alma rosa, in vultu gestans insigne pudoris. Sed dum pulchra ruunt proni ad vestigia Veris 40 sirenes nemorum, citharistae ruris 239 amoeni, vinula diffundunt arguto gutture passim carmina, quae sitiens avide dum perbibit auris, ebria languidulo decumbit victa sopore.” “Dic bona fide: acceperene unquam aures tuae quidquam perfectius hoc carmine, sive spiritus magnificentia, sive figuris sententiisque, cum validis tum etiam brevibus atque vibrantibus? Vide ut in sensus influit, ut delectat, ut sententiarum numerus prope numerum verborum exaequat! Ego primus elegans hoc scribendi genus inveni, in medium protuli, in morem induxi; ego hanc viam aperui, lustravi, meis vestigiis impressi. Quae qui voluerit persequi, ad nominis aeternitatem sine errore perveniet. Sume igitur hoc carmen meo chirographo scriptum, illudque tibi ad poësin magistrum adopta.” Dum accipio et gratias ago, “Quid si,” inquit Gallonius, “eius epistolas legeres? Profecto ex Pythagorae sententia diceres immigrasse in eum animum Ciceronis, vel eiusdem eloquentiam haereditate ad eum pervenisse.” His auditis, sane commotus est totus ac “Facis mihi,” inquit, “iniuriam. Nam pluris est una aut altera scriptionis cuiusvis meae linea quam centum Ciceronis epistolae. Quid est, dii boni, in eo oratore nisi incitatus verborum cursus ac sine sanguine ac nervis flaccescens oratio? ” 240 Plura dicturum in Ciceronem rediens a funere Alexandri dynasta quidam inhibuit, qui raeda exceptum ab oculis nostris abduxit. Quaero postea ex Gallonio, num sit 238 Anticlaudianus: 1.100-2: “Exuit ingentes faeces argenteus amnis / Ad puri remeans elementi iura, nitore / Fulgurat in proprio, peregrina fece solutus.” 239 Anticlaudianus 1.92. “Syrenes nemorum, cithariste veris.” 240 Cf. Cic. Brut. XXIII.93: “dein cum otiosus stilum prehenderat motusque omnis animi tamquam ventus hominem defecerat, flaccescebat oratio.” 35 <?page no="232"?> Book Four 233 “Tell me the truth, have your ears ever heard anything more perfect than this poem, either in terms of grandeur of spirit, figures of speech, or periods that are both forceful as well as succinct and vigorous? Look how it washes over your senses, how it delights, how the number of ideas is equal to the number of words! I was the first to elegantly invent this style of writing 79 ; I made it famous and fashionable; I forged the path, showed the way, and imprinted it with my footsteps. Whoever wishes to follow will arrive at eternal fame without going astray. Take this poem, written in my own hand, and adopt it as your teacher for writing poetry.” While I was accepting his poem and thanking him, Gallonius said, “If you read his letters, you would absolutely think that, according to the doctrines of Pythagoras, the soul of Cicero had migrated into him, or that Cicero’s eloquence had come to him as a birthright.” When he heard these words, he was thoroughly distraught and said, “You do me a dishonor. One line or another of any of my writings is worth more than a hundred letters of Cicero. Good gods, what does that orator have besides a fast-moving gallop of words and flagging speech without force or energy? ” 80 A certain dynast, who was returning from Alexander’s funeral, lifted him into his carriage and out of our 79 A similar declaration of being a pioneer of a specific genre (ego primus) is found, for example, in Horace’s Epist. I.XIX. addressed to Maecenas, in which he claims for himself the mantle of the first Roman poet to adapt Alcaic meter to Latin. 80 These terms applied to style (nervi, sanguinis, flaccens oratio) are central to discussions on style such as those in Cic. Brut. and Hor. Ars P. 35 <?page no="233"?> 234 Eudemia in Ten Books aliquis cui eo homine esset opus salvo. 241 “Quamobrem? ” rogat. “Quia,” inquam, “insanit.” Nec mora; ad fontem ibi large manantem accedimus. Ubi oppressi sumus a philosopho illo, qui in prandio mulieres fere omnes impudicitia notaverat. Quo perspecto, innuit nobis Gallonius ut regrederemur atque odium illud effugeremus. Sed antevertit consilium nostrum philosophi sagacitas. Nam me prehensum pallio retinuit et, “Quo,” inquit, “properas? Mane, obsecro, nam cupio perpetuum amicitiae foedus tecum inire, quem hodie ex disputatione habita non alienum a litteris comperi.” Arreptaque mihi manu, “Cum noveris,” inquit, “nos cunctis hominibus doctis antepones. Nam si iuratus meliorem rhetorem vel doctiorem philosophum quaereres, praeter me non alium adduceres. Ita ego sum magister solus praeter ceteros. Etenim non item discipulos doceo, ut alii doctores faciunt, qui eos quos erudiunt consenescere in scholis iubent; sed longe breviore methodo ac via ad summum philosophiae culmen adduco. Ego primus hanc viam inveni et, si non piget calcare, me tibi in ea comitem ducemque profiteor. Sed non prius tibi dabitur hinc abeundi potestas quam aliquod ingenii mei specimen capias. Et, quoniam cum historicis et oratoribus tibi magis rem esse animadverti quam cum alterius artis magistris, rhetoricae totius formam in tabulis expressam dabo, quibus, in memoria tanquam in pariete defixis, unico aspectu omnia sese offerent quae in ea arte traduntur.” - “Parce, sodes,” inquit Gallonius. “Ne te defatiges, neque praeterquam quas ipse calor molestias habet adicias.” - “Nunquam perficies,” ait ille, “quin huius studiis consulam hodie.” Ego, quoniam aliter fieri non poterat, porrecto iugulo, me illi conficiendum trado. Ergo incipit, “In prima tabula rhetorices definitio primum explicatur, quae est facultas videndi quid in unaquaque re sit persuasibile. 242 Deinde eius offici- 241 Hor. Sat. I.IX.27: “quis te salvo est opus? ” Echoes of Horace’s ninth satire (“Forte ibam via sacra”) continue in the following section in the phrases “Arreptaque mihi manu” (l. 4); “Cum noveris … nos” (l. 7); and “Parce, sodes” (l. 41). Rossi’s extensive use of Horace’s poem emphasizes the Romans’ unwelcome encounter with this boor. 242 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 35) refers to Quint. Inst. 2.15.16: “Aristoteles cum dixit vim esse videndi quid in quaque re possit esse persuasibile.” 36 37 <?page no="234"?> Book Four 235 sight, preventing him from saying any more words against Cicero. Afterward, I asked Gallonius if there was anyone in his right mind who wanted that man around. “Why? ” he asked. “Because he is mad.” Without delay, we arrived at an abundantly flowing fountain. There we were accosted by that philosopher, who, at lunch, had leveled the charge of promiscuity at just about every woman. When we caught sight of him, Gallonius nodded to us to turn tail and run from that annoyance. But the philosopher’s sharpness thwarted our plan, and he kept me there by grabbing my cloak, saying, “Where are you rushing off to? I beg you to stay, as I would like to enter into a lasting pact of friendship with you. I discovered from today’s discussions that you are not unfamiliar with literature.” Grabbing me by the hand, he said, “When you get to know me, you will place me above all other learned men. If you were sworn to identify the best orator or the most learned philosopher, you would not put forward anyone but me. I alone, therefore, am a teacher above all the others. In fact, I do not teach students in the way that other scholars do, who force their students to waste away in schools, but I lead them to the highest summit of philosophy via a much shorter method and path. I was the first to discover this path and, if it does not pain you to walk it, I will declare myself your companion and your guide. But you will not be able to embark on it until you have had a sampling of my genius. Since I have noticed that you have more familiarity with historians and orators than you do with the masters of other arts, I will present you with the model of the whole art of rhetoric, which I have copied onto my writing tablets. Once you have fixed these in your memory, as if on a wall, everything that rhetoric has to transmit will be available to you at a glance.” - “I beg you to go easy,” said Gallonius. “Don’t wear yourself out and add more discomfort than this heat is already causing.” He replied, “You will never master it without my advice today on the subject.” Since it was not going to turn out any other way, I stretched out my neck and handed myself over to my executioner. Thus, he began, “The first panel begins with the definition of rhetoric, which is the ability to see what in any matter might be persuasive. 81 Next, I show what the function of rhetoric is, namely, to speak in a manner suitable for persuasion. 81 This is almost a direct quotation from Quint. Inst. II.XV.16. This blowhard philosopher, who just declared himself the “first to discover this path” to the mastery of rhetoric, lifts the definition, function, and causes of rhetoric almost word for word from sections of Cicero’s De inventione and Rhetorica ad Herennium (the latter once thought to be a work of Ciceronian iuvenilia but now considered spurious). Rossi knows his readers would instantly recognize these references, since these two books were basic school texts for anyone who received a humanistic education. See also Ward 2006: 3-75; Ward 2013: 163-96; Juys, Ward, and Heyworth 2013. 36 37 <?page no="235"?> 236 Eudemia in Ten Books um ostenditur, quod est, dicere apposite ad persuadendum. 243 Tertio causae 244 eiusdem explicantur. Primum efficiens, quae constat inventione atque doctrina. Inventio est notatio 245 et animadversio naturae. Quae natura nihil est aliud nisi innata ingenii aptitudo ad dicendum. Doctrina vero artem et exercitationem includit. Et est ars, praeceptio, methodum dicendi praestans. Exercitatio, assiduus usus consuetudoque dicendi. 246 Deinde finis, qui est, persuadere dictione. Tertio materia, 247 quae est hypothesis seu causa; quae definitur esse rei alicuius implicita circumstantiis quaestio. 248 Postremo haec tabula triplici genere causarum descripto concluditur, videlicet, demonstrativo, iudiciali, ac deliberativo. 249 Demonstrativum rei laudem vel vituperationem continet; nempe amplificationem rerum bonarum vel malarum, quas rei inesse contendimus. Eius finis est honestas vel turpitudo. 250 Scopus, delectatio auditorum; tempus, praesens. Iudiciale positum est in controversia atque habet in se intentionem cum defensione. Eius finis est iustum et iniustum. Scopus vel modus, iudicis clementia aut saevitia; 243 Cic. Inv. rhet. I.V.6: “Officium autem eius facultatis videtur esse dicere apposite ad persuasionem”; Cic. De or. I.XXXI.138: “primum oratoris officium esse dicere ad persuadendum accommodate.” 244 Cicero defines causes thus: “The particular [question] is what the Greeks call ὑπόθεσις (hypothesis), and we call cause or case” (Top XXI.79); Likewise Quintilian (Inst. 3.5.7): “Definite questions involve facts, persons, time and the like. The Greeks call them hypotheses, while we call them causes”; L&S provides the following definition: “that which lies at the basis of a rhetorical representation, matter, subject, ὑπόθεσις,” citing Cic. Top. XXI.79; Cic. Inv. rhet. I.VI.8; ibid. Rhet. Her. I.XI.18; and Quint. Inst. 3.5.7. 245 Rhet. Her. IV.L.63: “Notatio est cum alicuius natura certis describitur signis, quae, sicuti notae quae, naturae sunt.” 246 Rhet. Her. I.II.3: “Haec omnia tribus rebus adsequi poterimus: arte, imitatione, exercitatione. Ars est praeceptio, quae dat certam viam rationemque dicendi. Imitatio est qua impellimur, cum diligenti ratione, ut aliquorum similes in dicendo valeamus esse. Exercitatio est adsiduus usus consuetudoque dicendi.” 247 Cic. Inv. rhet. I.V.7: “Materiam artis eam dicimus in qua omnis ars et ea facultas quae conficitur ex arte versatur. Ut si medicinae materiam dicamus morbos ac vulnera, quod in his omnis medicina versetur, item, quibus in rebus versatur ars et facultas oratoria, eas res materiam artis rhetoricae nominamus.” 248 Quint. Inst. 5.10.104: “Hoc genus argumentum sane dicamus ex circumstantia, quia περίστασιν dicere aliter non possumus.” 249 Rhet. Her. I.II.2: “Tria genera sunt causarum quae recipere debet orator: demonstrativum, deliberativum, iudiciale. Demonstrativum est quod tribuitur in alicuius certae personae laudem vel vituperationem. Deliberativum est in consultatione, quod habet in se suasionem et dissuasionem. Iudiciale est quod positum est in controversia, et quod habet accusationem aut petitionem cum defensione.” See also Cic. Inv. rhet. I.V.7. The three types of cases were formally established by Aristotle in Rhetoric 1358b 7. 250 Rhet. Her. II.IV.12: “aliae sunt cuiusque generis diversae praeceptiones. Aliud enim laus, aliud vituperatio, aliud sententiae dictio, aliud accusatio aut recusatio conficere debet. In iudiciis quid aequum sit quaeritur, in demonstrationibus quid honestum, in deliberationibus, ut nos arbitramur, quid honestum sit et quid utile.” <?page no="236"?> Book Four 237 Third, I explain the causes of rhetoric. 82 The first is the efficient cause. This consists of invention and doctrine. Invention 83 is the depiction and observation of one’s nature. One’s nature is nothing other than an innate aptitude and talent for speaking. Doctrine, on the other hand, includes theory and practice. Theory is a set of rules that provides a method for speaking, while practice is the constant exercise and experience in speaking. Next comes the final cause, which is to persuade by speaking. The third is the material cause, or the hypothesis or case, which is defined as the implicit question in the circumstances of any matter. Finally, this panel concludes with a description of the three types of cases, namely epideictic, judicial, and deliberative. Epideictic rhetoric comprises praise and blame, namely the amplification of the good or bad aspects that we contend are in a matter. Its aim is to portray honor or disgrace; its goal is to delight the audience; its tense, present. Judicial rhetoric is placed within the context of forensic debate and consists of a criminal charge with a defense. The aim of judicial rhetoric is to determine right and wrong, its goal or end being the clemency or severity of the judge; its tense, past. Moreover, all judicial oratory involves either a criminal case or a legal controversy. There are two types of oratory related to a criminal case: an accusation, which brings a formal charge, and a defense, which seeks to remove it. There are also two types of oratory related to a legal controversy: a civil action, in which someone is suing another party; or a counterplea, in which someone disputes that anything is owed. Next is deliberative oratory, which is placed within the context of an inquiry concerning advice or a recommendation, and it involves the delivery of an opinion. The aim of deliberative oratory is to determine what is advantageous and disadvantageous, and its goal is the hope or fear of the one deliberating; its tense, future. It is composed of persuasion, which instructs as to what should be done, and objection, which supports the opposite. That is the first panel, in which I portray the arrangement of rhetoric no less realistically than if it had been painted by the hand of Apelles or Zeuxis. Turn your attention now to the next panel, which places the parts and the duties of the orator as if before your very eyes.” 82 The four causes of rhetoric as defined by Aristotle are: efficient, final, material, and formal. This philosopher only discusses the first three. 83 Invention is one of the five canons of rhetoric; the others are arrangement, style, memory, and delivery. <?page no="237"?> 238 Eudemia in Ten Books tempus, praeteritum. Praeterea iudicia omnia vel sunt criminis vel controversiae. Criminis oratio duplex: categoria, quae crimen obicit; apologia, quae diluit. Controversiae itidem oratio duplex: petitio, qua aliquid postulatur; recusatio, qua deberi negatur. Sequitur genus deliberativum, quod positum in consultatione habet in se dictionem sententiae. Eius finis est utile et inutile; scopus, deliberantis spes, metus; tempus, futurum. Partes, suasio, quae quid faciendum sit docet; et recusatio, quae contrarium defendit. Haec igitur est prima tabula, in qua rhetorices constitutio non minus ad veritatem exprimitur quam si esset Apellis vel Zeuxidis manu depicta. Convertite nunc animum ad alteram tabulam, quae partes et officia oratoris paene oculis subicit.” Tum vero victa est Gallonii patientia ac “Mane,” inquit, “cogito te perendie ad cenam invitare. Ibi otiosius cupio tabulas, quas narras, aspicere. Nam earum pulchritudo ad contemplandum non brevem aliquam moram, sed longum tempus efflagitat; quod dies iam plane demortuus denegat; et tu scis occupationes meas.” Philosophus, audito cenae nomine, frontem expromsit hilarique voce, “Ego quoque,” ait, “idem censeo. Ego domi tuae, magno istius cum lucro, ingenii mei divitias proferam; atque eadem opera, quae dixi quaeque dicturus sum, aliquot in chartulis velut in tabulis descripta proponam. Et si mihi iste ad discendum se tradiderit, unico fere mense logicae, physicae, metaphysicaeque notitiam non naevo aliquo aut crepundiis, sed corpore omni 251 percipiet. Earum ille imagines pluribus in tabulis descriptas si cubiculi sui parietibus affixerit, quasi pinacothecam quandam instruxerit, longe iis elegantiorem, in quibus Polyclaeti, 252 Zeuxidis, Protogenis et Parrhasii manus adorantur.” Ego, collaudata illius doctrina, Gallonium abeuntem subsequor. Qui inquit, “Nisi de cena mentio esset iniecta, nunquam hodie hirudo 253 ista nos dimisisset. Sed vidistine, obsecro, hominem magis ineptum, qui quocumque in loco, quoscumque inter homines libitum sit, de rebus gravissimis argutissime disputet? ” Ego tot delirantium somniis enectus, “Quaeso,” inquam, “Galloni, amoveamus nos hinc ocius, ne alius quispiam stultus odio suo nos plane conficiat. Nam diis iratis nostris huc venimus.” - “Tace, sis, inepte! ” inquit Gallonius. “Tanquam si Romae huius generis stultorum multo maiorem numerum invenire non liceat! ” - “Vera dicis,” inquam. “Neque aliud quidquam habeo quod dicam, 251 Cic. Brut. XCI.313: “Nunc quoniam totum me non naevo aliquo aut crepundiis sed corpore omni videris velle cognoscere.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 36. 252 Polydaeti 1637, 1645 (clearly a typesetting error where the letters cl in the manuscript were read as d). See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 37. 253 The most famous reference to a hirudo in ancient Roman literature appears as the very last word of Hor. Ars. P. 475-6: “quem vero arripuit, tenet occiditque legendo, / non missura cutem nisi plena cruoris hirudo.” 38 39 <?page no="238"?> Book Four 239 At that point Gallonius lost his patience and said, “Stop right there. I am thinking of inviting you to dinner the day after tomorrow. I want to see these tablets you are telling us about when I am at leisure. Their splendor demands not a brief sojourn, but ample time to contemplate them, which today, being almost at an end, does not allow. You know how busy I am.” The philosopher, hearing talk of dinner, lit up and, with a joyful voice, said, “Agreed. I will offer up my wealth of talents at your house, with the great advantage that it brings, and at the same time, I will propose what I have said, and what I was going to say, written out on little cards or panels. And if this man here entrusts his education to me, within about a month he will gain a familiarity with logic, physics, and metaphysics, not just by some birthmark or a rattle but by his whole body. 84 If he tacks to the walls of his room the images of these fields of study, depicted on many panels, it will be as if he had installed a gallery, but a much more elegant one than those in which we celebrate the hands of Polyclitus, Zeuxis, Protogenes, and Parrhasius.” After I had praised the man’s learning, I followed Gallonius as he was leaving. He said, “If I had not brought up the topic of dinner, that leech would never have let us go today. I ask you, did you ever see a man more inept, who debates very serious matters most cleverly in whatever place and among whatever men he pleases? ” Worn out by visions of the insane, I said, “Please, Gallonius, let us get out of here quickly, in case some other idiot starts annoying us to death with his insolence. We came here under a curse of the gods.” Gallonius responded, “Be quiet please, you fool! As if it weren’t possible to find a much greater number of stupid people like this in Rome! ” - “True,” I said. “I don’t have anything else to say, except that nobody is born without faults, and no one lives among perfect people.” Discussing these and other things we finally arrived home, where we discovered that the servant, whom Gallonius had sent ahead of us to the store, 84 This is a quote from Cic. Brut. 313 and is a reference to the marks of identification or recognition (like a birthmark or a child’s rattle) that serve to resolve the plots in ancient comic plays (see Cicero and G. L. Hendrickson 1952: 271 n. b). 38 39 <?page no="239"?> 240 Eudemia in Ten Books nisi quod nemo sine vitiis nascitur, ac cum perfectis non vivitur.” Haec atque alia commemorantes, domum nos tandem recepimus. Ubi eum servum, quem Gallonius in macellum praemiserat, non solum obsonatu rediisse, verum etiam coxisse cenam invenimus. Qua hilare comesa, post multos variosque sermones lecto nos dedimus totosque quieti somnoque in auroram usque tradidimus. Liber V Postridie mane, cum necessitas nulla urgeret mature surgendi, in multam lucem somnum produximus. Sed cum diei tempus atque hirae 254 latrantes cibum exposcerent, subuculam, thoracem, femoralia ac tibialia poposcimus. Quibus indutis, “Cogito,” inquit Gallonius, “postquam meus dynasta a mensa surrexerit, ducere vos in buleuterium. 255 Delectabit enim signa pulcherrima ex aere vel marmore, tabulas pictas summorum artificum manu confectas aspicere. Nam commune hoc ad senatus habendos, ad magistratus creandos alendosque aedes amplissimas habet, multis eiusmodi rebus refertas. Ibi poliarchi (id enim magistratui illi nomen est) causas eorum cognoscunt ac iudicant qui in id forum conveniunt. Nam olim, antequam haec respublica in potestate ac moderatione dynastarum verteretur, 256 ad populi arbitrium iudiciumque summa omnium rerum consiliorumque redibat 257 ; in eo summa potestas, summa auctoritas erat. Sed post attritas civilibus discordiis opes, cum se dynastis permisisset, ne omnino spoliatus imperio videretur, rerum quarundam administrationem sibi retinuit. Videlicet dat operam ut ab emptionibus ac venditionibus, eduliorum praesertim, fraudes amoveantur; nimirum ut eadem ad mensuram pondusve respondeant. “Itaque poliarchi singulis fere rebus precia constituunt; numerum vel pondus assignant; et, si quod est admissum facinus, si res pluris vendita, si sit eius ponderi, videlicet assi, uncia vel sextans ereptus, iidem discernunt, multas poe- 254 hiri 1637 255 A bouleuterion (Greek: βουλευτήριον) was a building that housed the council of citizens (βουλή) of an ancient Greek democratic city state. 256 Cic. Verr. I.VII.20: “omnia in unius potestate ac moderatione vertentur.” 257 Caes. BGall. VI.11: “earumque factionum principes sunt qui summam auctoritatem eorum iudicio habere existimantur, quorum ad arbitrium iudiciumque summa omnium rerum consiliorumque redeat.” 1 2 <?page no="240"?> Book Five 241 had not only returned from shopping but had already cooked us dinner. After we had eaten it in good cheer, and after many and wide-ranging conversations, we took ourselves off to bed and gave ourselves over completely to stillness and sleep until dawn. Book Five We slept in very late the following morning, because there was nothing requiring us to get up early. When both the time of day and our empty, barking stomachs began demanding food we called for our undershirts, waistcoats, trousers, and leggings. When we were dressed, Gallonius said, “After my dynast has finished eating, I think I’ll take you to the senate house. You will enjoy looking at the bronze and marble statues there, as well as the paintings created by the hands of our best artists. Our city has enormous villas, filled with such art objects, for the purpose of holding sessions of the senate and for creating and maintaining magistrates. The senate house is where the poliarchs 85 (that is what those particular magistrates are called) hear and adjudicate the cases of people who appear before that court. A long time ago, before this state had come under the power and government of the dynasts, the most important matters and resolutions fell to the decision and judgment of the people, because it was in that body that the highest power and authority was located. So as not to be completely stripped of their power after the state’s wealth had been depleted by civil unrest, and after they had entrusted themselves to the dynasts, the people retained control over the administration of certain matters; namely, they make sure that fraud is removed from all transactions of buying and selling, particularly of foodstuffs, and that there is uniformity with regard to measurements and weights. “The poliarchs set the prices for most goods, establishing quantities and weights, and if some crime is committed—for example, if an item has been sold for a greater price or if an ounce or two has been subtracted from a pound—it is the poliarchs who determine appropriate penalties and punishments. The poliarchs have appointed certain people to keep an eye out for fraud, who make the rounds every morning to the butcher shops, taverns, and forums and, when they encounter anyone carrying meat, wine, fish, bacon, or anything of that sort, they stop him, ask where he bought it and for how much, and they weigh it with a scale they carry with them for that purpose, or they measure it by the 85 Poliarchs are the equivalent of Roman senators. 1 2 <?page no="241"?> 242 Eudemia in Ten Books nasque constituunt. 258 Atqui ad perquirendas fraudes certos quosdam constitutos habent, qui quotidie mane lanienas, thermopolia ac fora circumeunt; et quoscunque carnes, vina, pisces, succidiam vel quid eiusmodi ferentes offendunt, sistunt; rogant unde emerint, quanti; ac statera, quam ad eum usum ferunt, examinant vel hemina metiuntur. Ac si res emptas ad mensuram pondusve non respondere comperiunt, venditorem cogunt id quod fraudaverit reddere; eiusque nomen ad poliarchos deferunt; qui, habita deferentibus fide, absque alia probatione reum vel pecunia multant, vel aliqua corporis poena coercent. Quamobrem olim id muneris optimo cuique locupletissimoque dabatur, quo eius testimonio credi posset, neque esset aliqua acceptae pecuniae suspicio. Sed ita nunc mos viget ut fere egentissimus quisque ab iis, qui summam habent auctoritatem in hac republica, in hunc locum attrahatur. Quo fit ut fures manifestarii, fractis legum ac iudiciorum laqueis, quibus obstricti tenentur, parva saepe pecunia meritas poenas effugiant.” Tum ego, “Nihil est, O Galloni, (ut etiam pro Paulo respondeam) quod malimus spectare quam buleuterium istud quod loqueris.” - “Mox,” inquit ille, “faciam cupiditati vestrae satis. Eamus.” Sed vix domo pedem efferimus, cum aspicimus honesta facie atque eleganti vestitu hominem domi cuiusdam fores impellere. Cui mulier de fenestra, “Quis,” inquit, “has fores pepulit? ” - “Ego sum,” respondet; “aperite aliquis, si vultis.” Tum illa, “Opportune advenis, here; non habemus domi holus in prandium. Eme, nisi molestum est, obolo.” At ille, “Recte admones. Ego afferam. Facite ut paratum sit prandium cum venero.” - “Fiet, here,” inquit illa. “I ergo cum diis benevolentibus.” - “Quam lepide,” inquit Gallonius, “ancilla herum ab aedibus arcuit! Sed ni piget hic paulum consistere, ludos aspicietis longe pulcherrimos. Habitat in his aedibus mulier formosa et aetate integra, 259 uxor eius qui holus missus est emere. Haec, conscio marito, cum publicano locuplete rem habet. Sed quo eum faciat arietem Phryxi et usque ad vivam cutem auro detondeat, 260 persuasit ipsi se clam viro morigeram esse. Nam, “Si paululum,” inquit, “hoc illi suboleat, illico omnes perimus. Tibi certe illud eveniat, quod moechis solet; quia ille est homo iracundus, violentus, ferus.” Sed revera nulla est ovis tam placida quam ille est hircus, neque qui magis in uxoris potestate versetur. Attamen, quo metui videatur, placuit inter ipsos ut, si domum rediens, signo dato, intus esse moechum accipiat, simulatione aliqua a foribus 258 Caes. BGall. VI.13: “Nam fere de omnibus controversiis publicis privatisque constituunt, et, si quod est admissum facinus, si caedes facta, si de hereditate, de finibus controversia est, idem decernunt, praemia poenasque constituunt.” 259 Ter. An. I.i.69-72: “Interea mulier quaedam abhinc triennium ex Andro commigravit huc viciniae … egregia forma atque aetate integra.” 260 Plaut. Bacch. II.iii.241-2: “adibo hunc, quem quidem ego hodie faciam hic arietem / Phrixi, itaque tondebo auro usque ad vivam cutem.” 3 <?page no="242"?> Book Five 243 hemina. If these monitors find that the purchased items do not correspond to the established measure and weight, they force the seller to return what he has cheated the buyer out of, and they report his name to the poliarchs. Because the poliarchs trust the people reporting to them and do not require further proof, they either levy a fine against the guilty party, or they make him pay in the form of some sort of corporal punishment. It was for this reason that this type of responsibility was once given to the best and the richest men, whose testimony was deemed credible, so there would be no suspicion of bribery. Now, however, the dominant practice is that, among those who wield power in this state, it is the ones with the least amount of money who are drawn to these positions. Because of this, thieves who are caught red-handed often escape their just punishments for a small fee, since the bonds of law and justice that used to keep them in check have been severed.” Then I said (if I’m permitted to answer also for Paulus Aemilius), “Gallonius, there is nothing we would rather see than this senate house you speak of.” He replied, “I will soon satisfy your desire. Let’s be off.” We had only just set foot outside the house when we saw a man, with an honest face and elegant dress, knocking on someone’s front door. A woman called out from the window, “Who is banging on my door? ” - “It’s me,” he replied. “Somebody please open up.” She answered, “You have come just in time, sir; we don’t have any vegetables in the house for lunch. Go buy an obol’s worth, if it’s no trouble.” He replied, “Good thinking, I’ll go fetch some. Make sure lunch is ready when I get back.” - “Yes, sir,” she said. “Off you go with the gods’ blessing.” Gallonius said, “How cleverly that maidservant has kept her master away from the house! If you don’t mind waiting here for a bit, you will witness some very delightful shenanigans. The lady of this house is beautiful and in the bloom of youth. She is the wife of that man who has just been sent to buy vegetables. With her husband’s knowledge, she is having an affair with a wealthy tax collector; but in order to turn the tax collector into Phryxus’s ram 86 and fleece him out of his gold right down to his hide, she has convinced him that she is consenting behind her husband’s back. She said, ‘If he gets wind of any of this, even a little bit, we will both be done for. You will certainly meet the usual fate of adulterers, because he is an angry, violent, and savage man.’ In truth, though, no sheep is as gentle as that buck, nor is any man more under his wife’s thumb. Nevertheless, in order to create the impression that she was afraid of her husband, the two 86 Phryxus was rescued from his stepmother by a ram with a golden fleece, who carried him to safety over the Hellespont (named for his twin sister who fell from the ram and did not make it). This is the same golden fleece that Jason later recovered with the aid of Medea. 3 <?page no="243"?> 244 Eudemia in Ten Books tantisper abscedat, dum sese foras ille proripiat.” Vix ea Gallonius dixerat, cum ecce tibi foris crepuit ac moechum evomuit. “Dixin? ” inquit Gallonius. “Quid vobis videtur? At si esset otium manendi hic, nec alio vocarer (ut scitis) videretis advolantes huc baiulos cum sportis, coctum olido hirco prandium ferentes. Et sane ferax est haec tellus eiusmodi hominum. Nec mirum si eorum numerus fere in immensum excreverit. Nam est hic quaestus multo nunc uberrimus. 261 Ille enim divitias, voluptates, honores parit, ille summorum hominum voluptates et studia conciliat. Quamobrem, cui viro paulo liberaliori forma uxor evenit, si venalem eam habeat, manipulatim ad eum munigeruli cum auro, veste atque omnibus ad necessarium usum accurrunt. 262 Verum ideo haec ars prae ceteris pollet, quia (ut diximus) divitiae in honore sunt, paupertas probro ducitur, otium ac luxus expetitur, labor ac modestia defugitur. “Sed maritorum non unum est genus. Nam alii non dissimulanter et tacite, sed palam et aperte sunt improbi, et dummodo praesto sit quod edant vel potent, suo arbitratu quotidie quid homines de se loquantur nauci non faciunt. Aliis paulo honestioribus quamvis idem propositum sit atque illis, nempe supra suas vires edere ac vestitui indulgere, attamen volunt existimari se id nescire quod sciunt, ac non videre quod vident. Sed quo liberior moechis suas ad uxores aditus pateat, saepe rus itant; interdum menses integros patria domoque carent. Nec parum saepe contingit ut ab aliquo ex potentioribus, qui paulo solutiore animo eorum uxores secum habere expetit, vel triremi vel oppido praeficiantur, ut illi non solum absint domo, cum navigant vel oppido praesunt, sed etiam libenter cum honore ac beneficio absint. Cum autem redeunt, hilare ac festive ab uxoribus excipiuntur, amplexibus implicantur; profert alia purpuram, aurum, torquem; ostendit alia conopea, stragulam vestem, eburneos lectos; aperit alia penum, cellam vinariam, granaria; frumentum ostentat, quod annum illum familiae sit satis, ac ‘Vide,’ inquit, ‘quid mihi mater, quid soror die natali meo tradiderit; quid mihi cognatus, affinis Quinquatriis, Compitalibus, Circensibus miserit.’ Boni viri credunt, gaudent; neque altius rem esse indagandam existimant. Aiunt etiam hanc tam ingentem meretricum multitudinem immanes illos sumtus peperisse qui nunc fiunt. Nonne vides, ut quaevis mulier ancillarum gre- 261 Ter. Eun. II.ii.253: “Is quaestus nunc est multo uberrimus.” 262 Plaut. Pseud. I.ii.181: “maniplatim mihi munerigeruli facite ante aedis iam hic adsint. Cur ego vestem, aurum atque ea quibus est vobis usus, praehibeo? ” 4 <?page no="244"?> Book Five 245 of them agreed that if, upon returning home (and she had given a signal), the husband discovered that the adulterer was inside, he would find some excuse to stay away from the house until he had scurried away.” Hardly had Gallonius recounted this than (you guessed it) the doors burst open and spit the adulterer out. “What did I tell you? ” said Gallonius. “How about that! If I had time to hang around here longer, and I were not, as you know, being summoned elsewhere, you would see deliverymen flying over here with baskets carrying a hot lunch to that stinking buck. This land is teeming with these sorts of men, and it is no wonder that their number has grown to an almost immeasurable number, for this is the most profitable business nowadays by far. Indeed, it begets riches, enjoyment, and offices, and it attracts the delight and enthusiasm of noblemen. For this reason, if a man happens to have a reasonably attractive wife—and if he offers her for sale—gift bearers run to him in whole regiments with gold, garments, and everything he needs. This practice thrives above all others because, as I said, wealth is held in high esteem, while poverty is thought to be for the disgraced; and because leisure and luxury are sought after, while hard work and humility are repellent. “But there are different kinds of husbands. Some are not secretive or silent about their shamelessness but are public and open about it, and, as long as their food and drink of choice is available on a daily basis, they couldn’t care less what people say about them. Other, slightly more honorable husbands, though they doubtless have the same desire as the others to consume more than they can handle and indulge in clothes, nevertheless they want to seem like they do not know what they know and do not see what they see. But in order to grant adulterers freer access to their wives, these men often ride out to the country, and they sometimes remain away from their hometown, and from their homes, for months at a time. It happens fairly often that, if a more powerful man wants to have the wives of one of these husbands by his side with his mind more at ease, the husbands are put in charge of a trireme or of a town, so they not only stay away from home while they are at sea or governing a town, but they do so gladly with honors and benefits. When these husbands return home, however, their wives welcome them cheerfully and joyfully and wrap them up in an embrace. One wife pulls out a purple and gold necklace; another shows off a canopy, a rug, and ivory couches; another opens the pantry, wine cellar, and granary to display the grain that will last their family a whole year. She says, ‘Look what my mother and my sister gave me for my birthday, and what my inlaws sent me for Quinquatria, Compitalia, 87 and the Circus Games! ’ These good 87 The Quinquatria, or Quinquatrus, is a festival in honor of Minerva that falls on the fifth day after the ides; the Compitalia is a festival in honor of the Lares, the gods of the hearth. 4 <?page no="245"?> 246 Eudemia in Ten Books gem secum ducat? Ut reginae in morem aurata ac vestita incedat? Imo cum unus aut alter sufficere earum sumtibus nequeat, plures amatores habere coguntur, atque inter eos partiri provinciam, hoc modo, ut ille in redimiculum praebeat, ille in collum, ille in crines, ille in cellam, ille in mensam.” Dum haec Gallonius narrat, aedes dynastae praeterimus imprudentes. Quod cum sentimus, regredimur rursum; intramus, commodum cum ille sterni sibi lectos ab architriclino iubet. Nec mora; Gallonius culinam intrat, dapes instruit, ornat, in mensam infert. Dynasta manus lavat, decumbit, prandet, pransus surgit seque in cubiculum abdit. Nos ad buleuterium recta contendimus ac poliarchos offendimus pro tribunali sedentes iuri dicundo operam dare. Circumstabant eos cetarii, caupones, coqui, fartores, cupedinarii, piscatores, aucupes. 263 Horum tantus erat numerus, ut, nisi cancelli interiecti defenderent, poliarchos opprimerent. Odor qui ab illis teter afflabat, locum implebat. Clamor item ab eisdem veniens concitato mari similis videbatur. Aliud alius orabat, “Mihi multam ne irroget! Me de reis eximat! ” Clamabat alius, “Circumvenior, Poliarchi, nisi subvenitis! ” 264 Hic falsum indicium detulit, alius veterem cum poliarcho amicitiam commemorabat. Ille nummos numerabat. Alius deum atque hominum fidem implorabat. Sed cum satis disceptatum esset, quia dies ille dies erat curiae 265 et maximis de rebus atque gravissimis senatus erat habendus, conclamatum est, “I licet! ” 266 Hac praeconis voce cohibiti, litigatores cuncti discedunt. 263 Ter. Eun. II.ii.256-7: “Concurrunt laeti mihi obviam cupediarii omnes, cetarii, lanii, coqui, fartores, piscatores.” 264 Cic. Brut. LXXV.260: “circumvenior, iudices, nisi subvenitis.” 265 There is some disagreement as to whether the dies curiae mentioned in Cic. De or. I.VII.27 is a festival day (see L&S) or simply a day that the senate is in session (see Cicero and Wilkins 1879); I translate it with the latter sense. 266 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 1) provides the following definition of ilicet in Ter. Phorm. I.iv.208 from Aelius Donatus’s Commentarius in Terentium: “Semper ‘ilicet’ finem rei significat, ut actum est. Sic iudices de concilio dimittebantur, suprema dicta cum praeco pronuntiasset ‘ilicet’ quod significat ‘ire licet.’” 5 <?page no="246"?> Book Five 247 husbands happily believe their wives and do not think that the matter needs to be looked into more closely. They even say that such a great multitude of whores has produced the huge expenditures we are experiencing nowadays. Don’t you see how just any old woman commands a retinue of maidservants and goes around adorned with gold and dressed like a queen? In fact, if one or other of these lovers is unable to provide for their expenses, the women are compelled to take several lovers and to divvy up the territory among them, so that one sees to her headdress, another to adorning her neck, another to her hair, another to her pantry, and another to her table.” While Gallonius was telling us these things, we inadvertently walked right past his dynast’s house. When we realized this, we turned back and went in at the very moment he was ordering the master of the feast to prepare the dining couches for him. Without delay, Gallonius entered the kitchen, prepared and garnished the banquet, and carried it out to the table. The dynast washed his hands, reclined, ate lunch, and once he had eaten, he got up and withdrew to his room. We headed straight to the senate house where we found the poliarchs holding court and immersed in the administration of justice. They were surrounded by fishmongers, innkeepers, cooks, sausage makers, confectioners, fishermen, and poultry sellers. There were so many of them that they would have overwhelmed the poliarchs had there not been a barrier in the way to protect them. A foul stench wafting from the tradespeople filled the place. Likewise, the din that arose from them sounded like a stormy sea. Each one was pleading for something different: “Don’t impose a fine on me! Remove me from your register of offenders! ” Another one was shouting, “Poliarchs, if you don’t help me, I’ll be finished! ” This one gave false information; another one reminded a poliarch of their long-standing friendship; that one paid out money; and another one implored the faith of gods and men. When the poliarchs had deliberated enough—since it was a day for senate hearings, and the senate had been called into session for the most important and serious matters—they announced, “Court adjourned! ” Released by the bailiff’s command, all of the litigants departed. 5 <?page no="247"?> 248 Eudemia in Ten Books Poliarchi descendunt atque exspectati veniunt in curiam, quo iam buleutae (ita enim senatores vocant) frequentes convenerant. Illis ingredientibus, honorifice a cunctis assurgitur. Sed Gallonium in primis cupido invaserat cognoscendi quae tanta res eo die senatum extra ordinem cogeret. “Estne,” inquit, “hostis ad portas? ” Cui responsum est statuendum esse salsis muriaticis 267 pretium, quorum plenam navem biduo ante ad litus illud fortuna detulisset. Deinde decernendum esse quot pira vel pruna vendenda sint obolo. Postquam igitur consedere buleutae, unus ex poliarchis, qui aetate ceteris antecedebat, facit mentionem placere statui, si patribus conscriptis videatur, ne salsamentorum libra carius nummo vendatur. 268 Vilitatem eorum annonae declarat; iniquitatem cetariorum exponit, qui ea, quae vilissime emerent, carissime venderent. Erat summa voluntas senatus ut fieret senatus consultum in poliarchi verba. Itaque sententiae dicebantur, cum cetarii minoris asse et semisse salsamentorum libram emissent, placere non pluris eam nummo licere ab ipsis revendi. Eo die transigi nihil potuit, quod et id temporis erat, et improbi illi invenerant homines, qui dicendo tempus consumerent. 269 Dimisso senatu, dum etiam tum poliarchi inter se colloquuntur, accurrit unus, qui corrumpi prandium nuntiat ac monet ut venire accubitum properent; diem esse ad umbilicum dimidiatum mortuum. 270 “Ius orat,” 271 inquit unus ex poliarchis, “eamus.” Et dum festinat, inspicit in turba Gallonium. Vocat atque, “Heus tu,” inquit, “hodie apud nos sis volo, et tecum isti quos ducis.” - “Benigne,” ait Gallonius, et simul occupationes varias excusat. Cui ille, “Nugas agis, respondet. Nam si mutire audes, te pro potestate vinciri et in carcerem condi iubebo.” Tum Gallonius arridens atque in nos intuens, “Mos gerundus est,” ait, “nisi in custodiam abripi malumus.” At ego, “Semper,” inquam, “triclinium carceri, epulas catenis anteponerem. Tu tamen age ut lubet.” - “Ego quoque satius esse cen- 267 Plaut. Poen. I.ii.239-40: “Soror, cogita, amabo, item nos perhiberi / quam si salsa muriatica esse autumantur.” 268 Cic. Verr. II.II.XXXIX.95: “itaque in senatu continuo Cn. Lentulus et L. Gellius consules faciunt mentionem placere statui, si patribus conscriptis videretur, ne absentes homines in provinciis rei fierent rerum capitalium.” 269 Cic. Verr. II.II.XXXIX.96: “Eo die transigi nihil potuit, quod et id temporis erat et ille pater istius invenerat homines qui dicendo tempus consumerent.” 270 See Liber IV, n. 206. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 2. 271 Plaut. Trin. V.ii.1161: “ius hic orat.” 6 7 <?page no="248"?> Book Five 249 The poliarchs left the senate house and arrived at the curia, where the buleutae (their word for senators) were already awaiting them gathered in a large crowd. As the poliarchs entered, everyone stood up out of respect. Gallonius was particularly seized by a desire to know what important matter was driving this extraordinary session of the senate. He asked, “Are there enemies at the gates? ” They responded that they needed to set the price of pickled salt fish because Fortune had carried a ship full of it to their shores two days earlier. 88 Next they had to determine how many pears and plums should be sold for one obol. Therefore, after the senators had taken their seats, one of the poliarchs, who was older than the others, moved the following resolution, that, if it pleased the conscript fathers, a pound of pickled salt fish should not be sold for more than one nummus. He declared that the price of fish had fallen, and he presented the example of the inequity of the fishmongers, who sold at a very steep price what they themselves purchased very cheaply. It was the greatest desire of the senate to pass a senatus consultum in line with the poliarch’s words. Thus, they made an official ruling that a fishmonger, if he himself had purchased a pound of salt fish for less than an as and a half, was not allowed to resell it for more than a nummus. But they were unable to reach any decisions that day, both because it was late and because those scoundrels had found people to run out the clock by orating. While the poliarchs were talking among themselves after the senate had been adjourned, a man rushed in announcing that their lunch was spoiling. He advised them to hurry up and recline at the table, because the day was already half gone. “He’s right,” said one of the poliarchs. “Let’s go.” While he was hurrying off to lunch he spotted Gallonius in the crowd. “Hello there! ” he said. “I would like you, and those two men with you, to join us today.” - “No, thank you,” replied Gallonius, using his various responsibilities as an excuse. The poliarch replied, “Stop talking nonsense. If you dare speak another word, by the authority of my office, I will order you to be shackled and thrown in jail.” Gallonius looked at us smiling and said, “We must obey, unless we’d rather be taken into custody.” I replied, “I would always prefer a dining couch to jail and banquets to chains. Do as you see fit.” He said, “I also think it is preferable to be tied to a full table with chains of food than to wear thick shackles in jail.” 88 In this fictional account, these price-setting duties are being carried out in the senate, but in Rossi’s time the standardization of prices, weights, and measures would have been performed by civic administrators in the Palazzo dei Conservatori (Palace of Conservators), one of the palaces on the Capitoline Hill. The civic government set and oversaw these standards to regulate the marketplace and protect buyers from being taken advantage of (Nussdorfer 1992: 71-4; 119-27). 6 7 <?page no="249"?> 250 Eudemia in Ten Books seo,” inquit Gallonius, “vinculis escariis ad mensam plenam deligari 272 quam in carcere crassas compedes ferre.” Praeeuntem igitur sequimur; et in conclave perducimur amplum, lucidum, pulcherrime laqueatum, peripetasmatis stratum, ornatum signis lepide eleganterque dispositis. Erat in medio triclinium ample magnificeque constratum. Erat praeterea abacus seorsim exposita; nullum in ea vas fictile, omnia erant argentea: pollubra, gutti, patinae, vasa vinaria, salina, pocula. Occurrunt servi complures simili vestitu, ex purpura auroque contecti (“pistes” eos vocant), qui aquam nivatam 273 manibus tradunt. Lavamus ac iussi lectos ascendimus: summi poliarchi, nos imi decumbimus, ceteri convivae in medio. Continuo epulis mensa completur; feruntur aves, farcimina, pisces, glandia, denique quidquid anni tempus luxuriae suppeditat. Vix coeptum est fieri prandio funus, 274 cum poliarchus natu grandior, quasi stomachans, “Mihi,” inquit, “siti fauces lippiunt; nimis diu siccus hic iaceo. Ferte aliquis poculum. Properate.” Accurrunt, afferunt. Quod ubi labris admovit, “Pape,” inquit, “non vinum hoc, sed Iovis est poculum. Unde, obsecro, prodiit? Quis illud deus ex caelitum mensis ad nos demisit? ” Respondit puer qui ministraverat, “Fuit hodie vobis muneri missum.” - “A quo? ” inquit. “Quis est tam potens cum munere hoc? ” 275 - “Hic est,” ait, “ille caupo, qui delapsus est in illam fraudem tam sceleratam, ut mistum pro mero divenderet.” - “Et vir hic tantus ob tam levem noxam perdendus est,” inquit poliarchus, “et non potius servandus? Qui tam praeclaras potiones concinnat, quae prorogare vitam hominibus possint. Equidem si perpetua haec felicitas esset, sperarem hoc vino vel ducentos annos me posse vivere.” 276 Et simul calices maiores poscit, allatos circumferri iussit. 272 Plaut. Men. I.i.89-94: “apud mensam plenam homini rostrum deliges … ita istaec nimis lenta vincla sunt escaria.” 273 Cf. Petron. Sat. 31: “Tandem ergo discubuimus, pueris Alexandrinis aquam in manus nivatam infundentibus.” 274 Plaut. Men. III.ii.492: “fecisti funus med absente prandio.” 275 Ter. Eun. II.iii.353: “Quis is est tam potens cum tanto munere hoc? ” 276 Plaut. Pseud. III.ii.826-30: “Bal. Quid tu? divinis condimentis utere, / qui prorogare vitam possis hominibus, / qui ea culpes condimenta? / Coc. Audacter dicito; / nam vel ducenos annos poterunt vivere / meas qui essitabunt escas quas condivero.” 8 <?page no="250"?> Book Five 251 We followed as he went ahead and were led into a room that was large and bright with beautiful paneling, bedecked with tapestries, and decorated with images that were hung around the room in a delightful and elegant manner. In the middle was an amply and magnificently upholstered dining couch. Set apart from that stood a sideboard full of objects that contained no pottery but everything was made of silver: washbasins, flasks, dishes, vessels for wine and salt, and cups. Many servants (they call them pistes 89 ) dressed in purple and gold uniforms were running around carrying ice water for our hands. We washed up and, when ordered to do so, climbed up on our dining couches. The poliarchs were positioned at the head of the table, we on the far end, and the rest of the diners in the middle. The table was kept constantly filled with food. Birds, sausages, fish, and sweetbreads were brought in, and finally any other delicacy that was in season. When lunch was just starting to wind down, the senior poliarch said, almost angrily, “My mouth is watering with thirst. I’ve been sitting here parched for too long. Someone bring me a glass, and quickly! ” The servants ran and fetched him one. When he brought the glass to his lips he exclaimed, “By God, this isn’t wine, it’s the very nectar of Jove himself! Where did it come from? What god sent this wine down to us from the tables of the heaven dwellers? ” The servant boy waiting on him replied, “It was sent to you today as a gift.” - “By whom? Who has the financial wherewithal to send me such a gift? ” - “It was that innkeeper, the one who sank so deep into fraud that he sold mixed wine in place of unmixed.” The poliarch replied, “Should such a great man—one who produces an excellent drink like this, that could prolong a man’s life—then be charged instead of, preferably, acquitted on so insignificant an infraction? Indeed, if this happiness could last forever, I should hope to prolong my life by two hundred years with this wine.” He immediately called for larger wine glasses and ordered them to be distributed as soon as they were brought in. 89 pistes: “trusted ones,” from the Greek word πίστις. 8 <?page no="251"?> 252 Eudemia in Ten Books Erat prope me Iberus ille academicus, homo (ut diximus) urbanus ac facetus. Qui dum ingurgitat in se merum illud faucibus plenis 277 nec laudandi finem facit, pars siluri, quam antepositam habebat in lance, dimissis manibus avolavit commutavitque coloniam. Quod ille in se reversus, pistium dolis (ita ut erat) factum existimans, “Plagigerum genus hominum! ” 278 clamat. “Ubinam gentium sumus? 279 Inter Lacedaemoniosne an Cilices? Reddite quod surripuistis! Referte meam mihi partem siluri.” Convivae ridere; poliarchi amicum tollere et, ne quam turbam efficeret, suas eidem partes contribuere. Ille quiescere atque iram in tranquillo constituere. Verum quoties erat bibendum, quod alternis paene bolis fiebat, contra fures patinarios hac se ratione munibat: altera manu cantharum corripiebat, altera patinam harpagabat. Et sane non erat opus minore apparatu adversus tot alitum praesentes insidias. Vigilandum erat, in custodia manendum. Nam vix lepidum aliquod obsonium apponebatur, cum e conspectu abibat; vix oculus vel manus a patina discedebat, cum milvus vel accipiter aliquis avertebat obsonium, ut diceres ibi non prandium sed Hecatae sacrum 280 fieri. Post haec accedunt symphoniaci decem et incipiunt tibiis scitissime canere. Percrepabat conclave illud totum suavissimae cantu symphoniae, neque aures meae antehac dulcius quidquam acceperant. Sed Iberus, cui de siluro manus adita erat, “Obtundunt,” inquit, “nos isti; iam diu poculum posco, neque quisquam audit. Amoveantur hinc, obsecro, nihil opus est cantu.” - “Vera narras,” inquiunt poliarchi. “Fugite hinc ab oculis ac pro tibiis amphoras sumite; neque vento, ut adhuc fecistis, sed vino ambas strenuo buccas inflate.” Non ita celeriter terra 277 Plaut. Curc. I.ii.126-7: “Hoc vide ut ingurgitat impura in se merum avariter, faucibus plenis.” 278 Plaut. Pseud. I.ii.153: “huc adhibete auris quae ego loquor, plagigera genera hominum.” 279 Cic. Cat. 1.9. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 3. 280 For kites and hawks as metaphors for rapacious people, see Plaut. Poen. V.v.1292: “male ego metuo milvos”; and Plaut. Pers. III.ii.408-9: “labes popli / pecuniai accipiter.” IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 4) refers to a passage from a 1533 Latin translation by Hadrianus Chilius of Ar. Plut. 594-7: “Licet ex Hecate hoc rogites, potiusne sit esurias, an abundes. / Siquidem haec pauperibus singlis mensibus edicit, ut opulenti / Coenam apponant, prius autem illi abripiant quam isti apposuere.” IJsewijn makes the point that Plutus was translated more than once into Latin and that Rossi was perhaps familar with a 1594 translation titled Ἀριστοφανους Πλουτος. Aristophanis Plutus (Ex officina H. Salviani: Apud I. I. Carlinum, & A. Pacem: Neapoli). 9 10 <?page no="252"?> Book Five 253 Iberus the scholar was seated near me, who, as I said before, was a refined and witty man. While he was greedily guzzling the unmixed wine down his capacious gullet and endlessly praising it, a portion of the catfish that was set before him on a platter flew off, ran with its arms pumping, and moved to a new town. Coming to his senses and reckoning this had happened through a trick of the pistes (which was true), Iberus exclaimed, “These types deserve a beating. Where in the world are we? Are we living among the Lacedaemonians or the Cilices? 90 Give back what you stole from me! Bring back my serving of catfish! ” The banqueters laughed, the poliarchs consoled their friend, and, in order to prevent him from inciting a riot, they gave him their share. He quieted down, his anger resolving into calm. Whenever it was time to take a drink, which happened almost between each bite, Iberus defended himself against the dish thieves in the following way: He grabbed a tankard in one hand and plundered a dish with the other. It was useless to mount a lesser defense against the ever-present tricks of so many vultures; you had to remain vigilant and keep your guard up. Some appealing side dish would barely be placed on the table when it disappeared from view; someone would barely take his eye or his hand off a dish when some kite or hawk would catch sight of the treat. As a result, you would have thought that, instead of lunch, a feast in honor of Hecate was taking place. 91 After the meal, ten musicians entered and began playing their flutes most excellently. The entire hall resounded with the sound of beautiful music, and my ears had never before heard anything sweeter. But Iberus, who was feeling duped on account of the catfish, said, “These musicians are making us go deaf. I’ve been calling for a drink for ages, and no one can hear me. Please get them out of here! We don’t need any singing.” - “You are right,” said the poliarchs. “Get out of our sight, fetch pitchers in place of pipes, and fill your cheeks with a robust wine instead of wind, as you have been doing up to now.” The earth does not fall downward, nor flames rush upward, with as much speed as the musicians attacked, grabbed the wine bottles, and tipped them bottoms up into their mouths; or rather, they poured them into an abyss. 90 People from Sparta and Cilicia, respectively. Spartan boys underwent rigorous training to prepare them for military service. One aspect of this training was learning to steal food without getting caught, in case they should need to do so for survival during wartime. 91 A sinister divinity associated with magic and witchcraft. She is often identified with Diana, Luna, and Proserpina, and is therefore represented with three heads. 9 10 <?page no="253"?> 254 Eudemia in Ten Books deorsum, vel sursum flamma contendit, ut illi lagenas invadunt, rapiunt, in sese invergunt, vel potius in barathrum fundunt. Illis e conspectu sublatis, rogavit Iberus ille num caupo, qui tam bonum vinum dedisset, saepius delinqueret. “Saepissime,” inquiunt poliarchi. “Sed non magis accipiter vel milvus rete, in quo induit sese, disrumpit quam iste iudicia omnia legesve perfringit. Nec, si maxime condemnare eum placeat, id nobis per dynastas licet, quorum magnam partem munere aliquo sibi devinxit. Nam aliis cellam vinariam instruit, aliis praebet quotidie quod potent. Itaque, cum est opus, pro illius incolumitate atque salute, non secus ac pro ipsorum gloria, fortunis ac fama decertant. Sed eius improbitas nobis quoque usui est. Semper enim aliquid ab eo corradimus: vel pecuniam, vel vinum, vel delicatum saltem obsonium.” Erat Graeculus quidam in illis, naufragio, itidem ut nos, illuc appulsus; qui, cum vinum ebibisset, reliquum sic e poculo eiciebat, ut id resonaret. 281 Quod Iberus ferens indigne, “Videturne tibi,” inquit, “hoc vinum dignum quod eiciatur? Tum ego ad elidendum in pavimentis sonum ex vino relinquerem, 282 cum lora aliqua vel vappa mihi esset ingratiis potanda; at suavissimi huius vini ne guttam quidem patiar deperire.” Atque una opera ingentem pateram implet, eamque vini meri, ita ut matre erat natum, exhaurit; qua epota, quidquid eidem villi adhaeserat, coepit lingua delingere. Quamobrem totum illud convivium redundavit hilaritate et ioco. Quo confecto, accedit oeconomus ad poliarchos oratque ut, nisi molestum esset, paululum sibi operam darent; habere se res non parvi momenti, quas ipsos scire quamprimum expediat. Iussus quae vellet nobis praesentibus dicere, narrat nullum fere reliquum esse in culina peniculum, quo ollae patinaeque abstergantur. Nam partim usu consumptos, partim, quod uncti essent, a muribus fuisse corrosos. Proinde argentum enumerent, quo novos coemat. Respondent illi maiorem esse rem hanc, quam ut ipsi de ea statuerent. Nam decernere ut pecunia ex aerario depromatur, non ad ipsos, sed ad senatum universum spectare. Se tamen honoris ipsius gratia senatum quamprimum convocaturos atque operam daturos, ut rei tam necessariae quanta maxima potest celeritate obviam eatur. 281 Cic. Tusc. I.XL.96: “reliquum sic e poculo eiecit, ut id resonaret.” 282 Plin. HN. XIV.XXVIII.147: “nihilque ad elidendum in pavimentis sonum ex vino reliquisse.” 11 12 <?page no="254"?> Book Five 255 When the musicians had been removed from our sight, Iberus asked whether that innkeeper, who had given them such good wine, often committed wrongdoing. “Very often,” replied the poliarchs. “But no hawk or kite has freed itself from a snare in which it has become entangled more often than that innkeeper has been able to break free of every judicial sentence and law. And if we wanted to bring the most serious charges against him, the dynasts wouldn’t allow it because he has bound most of them to himself through some favor. He stocked a wine cellar for some, and for others he procures drink on a daily basis. Therefore, the dynasts compete with each other, when necessary, to provide for his security and well-being, the same way they would compete for their own glory, fortunes, and fame. But we benefit from his dishonesty as well. We can always get something out of him whether it’s money, wine, or at least some delicate morsel.” There was some Greek man among them, put ashore here in a shipwreck as we had been, who, after drinking his fill of wine, tossed the remainder out of his glass so it made a splash. Iberus was indignant and said, “Is it your view that this wine deserves to be tossed out? If I had any wine left over to toss on the ground, it would be because someone was forcing me to drink something inferior or insipid. But I wouldn’t tolerate even one drop of wine this sweet going to waste.” And in one fell swoop, he filled an enormous bowl with unmixed wine just as when it had come from the mother vine. When he had finished, he proceeded to lick whatever remained stuck to his scruffy mane with his tongue. On this account, the entire banquet overflowed with fun and jest. When the banquet was over, the steward approached the poliarchs and asked if they might give him their attention for a moment, if it was no bother, because he had a very important matter he had to make them aware of as soon as possible. When asked what he wanted to say in our presence, he told them that there were practically no scrub brushes left in the kitchen for washing the pots and pans. They had partly been consumed by use, and partly been gnawed on by mice because they were greasy. Then he wanted them to give him some money to buy new ones. The poliarchs replied that the matter was too important for them to make any decision on their own (a decision regarding a withdrawal of funds from the public treasury was not up to them but to the entire senate) but that, out of regard for him, they would call a meeting of the senate forthwith, and they would see to it that such a pressing matter would be addressed as soon as possible. 11 12 <?page no="255"?> 256 Eudemia in Ten Books His actis, suum quisque in cubiculum requietis causa se contulit. Nos ad tabulas pictas et signa pulcherrima aspicienda oculos animumque convertimus; et quia nulla aspiciendi satietas erat, quatuor fere horas in eorum contemplatione consumpsimus. Sed inclinato in vesperam die discessimus. Inter eundum sciscitamur a Gallonio cur invitatus ad prandium tam opiparum non continuo accurrisset, sed vi ac minis prope attrahi maluisset. “Quia,” inquit, “pudebat me conspici cum talibus viris accumbere.” - “Quid, aio, nonne honestus est ille honoris locus? ” - “Est,” inquit, “honestus, sed interdum non sunt honesti qui in eum ascendunt. Nam hodie statuarii, pictores, sarcinatores ac, si diis placet, mediastini gratia vel precio ereptum eum adveniunt. Quamobrem ex nobilibus, praeter paucos qui bonis elaverunt, 283 vix quisquam invenitur qui magistratum hunc petat. Imo saepe multi ultro oblatum sibi recusant.” Inter haec Aridus academicus nobis occurrit; consistimus. Rogat ille Gallonium, unde veniat; quo tendat. Respondet, “Modo ex buleuterio discessimus.” - “Quid,” ait, “negotii tibi fuit in buleuterio? Venistine eo advocatus cuiquam, vel cauponi vel cupedinario? ” - “Minime,” inquit, “sed prandimus ibi invitati atque adeo coacti ab Euclione poliarcho, Megadori 284 filio eius, qui fullonicam fecit.” - “Audio,” inquit, “sed bene vobis fuit vino ac lepidis victibus? ” - “Sic,” ait Gallonius, “ut mihi nunquam in vita fuerit melius.” - “Gaudeo,” inquit Aridus, “si quid tibi evenit boni.” - “Sed tu, quo te agis? ” ait Gallonius. “Nescio,” inquit Aridus, “neque quo eam, neque quid agam. Vix potui me divellere a quodam, qui lateri meo inhaeserat nec me volebat amittere. Exibam ex delubro Apollinis, quo frequenter orandi causa venio; atque fit mihi obviam quidam senex bene vestitus, ac salvere me iubet; salutanti mutuam salutationem reddo. At ille, ‘Quamvis antehac,’ inquit, ‘non sis usus amicitia mea, nec fortasse me noveris, attamen iam pridem te ob tuas virtutes colo, et amicum habere expeto.’ Ego gratias ago, neque in hac mea mediocritate ingenii fortunaeque quidquam esse affirmo, quod ille miretur atque suspiciat; neque tamen audebam interrogare quis esset. At ille, ‘Si me noveris,’ inquit, ‘noveris sane hominem probum, et in primis cupidum existimationis bonae. Non enim invenies mei loci atque ordinis alterum, boni nominis aeque studiosum, quique uxorem ac liberos habeat pudicitiae fama clariores. Atqui scias, prius proditurum meam vitam, prius pecuniam omnem, 283 Plaut. As. I.ii.135: “nam in mari repperi, hic elavi bonis.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 5. 284 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 6) points out that 1637 and 1645 incorrectly have Megadoris as the genitive form of the name Megadorus. IJsewijn places square brackets around the final “s” to highlight the error. 13 14 <?page no="256"?> Book Five 257 When everything had concluded, each person went back to his room to get some rest. We turned our eyes and our attention to viewing the paintings and the beautiful statues. Because we could not get enough, we spent almost four hours contemplating them, but we left when the day had turned into evening. While we were walking, we grilled Gallonius on why he had not immediately rushed to take part in such a splendid lunch when he had been invited but had instead preferred to be dragged to it with force and threats. “Because,” he replied, “I was ashamed to be seen dining with men like that.” - “What? ” I said. “Isn’t that a respectable position of honor? ” - “The position is respectable,” he said, “but sometimes those who rise to it are not. These days, sculptors, painters, tailors, and, if it pleases the gods, common laborers attain that position by grabbing hold of it via favors or money. Because of this, there are hardly any noblemen who seek magisterial office, except for a few who have been cleaned out of their wealth. On the contrary, many who have been voluntarily recruited for the position have refused it.” While we were talking, the scholar Aridus bumped into us and we came to a stop. He asked Gallonius where he was coming from and where he was heading. Gallonius responded, “We have just left the senate house.” - “What business did you have in the senate? Were you called there on behalf of some innkeeper or confectioner? ” - “No,” responded Gallonius, “we were invited there for lunch and made to go by Poliarch Euclio, son of the fuller Megadorus.” 92 - “I understand,” Aridus answered. “Did you enjoy good wine and fine food? ” - “Indeed,” replied Gallonius, “I have never had better in my life.” - “I am glad it turned out well for you,” said Aridus. “Where are you off to? ” asked Gallonius. “I don’t know where I’m going, or what I’m doing,” said Aridus. “I could barely tear myself away from a man who was clinging to my side and refusing to let me go. I was leaving the Temple of Apollo, where I often go to pray, and some well-dressed old man came across my path. He greeted me and I returned his greeting. Then he said, ‘Though you have not enjoyed my acquaintance before now, and perhaps you don’t know me, nevertheless I have admired your virtues for a long time, and I desire your friendship.’ I thanked him and assured him that there was nothing in my mediocre intellect or fortune that he should admire or look up to (and I didn’t even dare ask who he was). But he said, ‘If you knew me, you would know that I am most certainly an upstanding man and, most importantly, eager for a good reputation. You will not find anyone else of my station or rank equally desirous of a good name, or who has a wife and children more well known for their reputation of modesty. What is more, you should 92 Euclio and Megadorus are the names of the two fathers in Plaut. Aul. whose children are betrothed to one another. 13 14 <?page no="257"?> 258 Eudemia in Ten Books quam vel levem aliquam in existimationem meam labem admittam. 285 Nam quid mihi opus est vita, quid opibus et divitiis, parte aliqua existimationis amissa? Praeterea octavo quoque die puro me flumine abluo et diis agnam sacrifico. Sed meas conturbat rationes filius, minus mihi obsequens quam parenti par est. Hic paucos ante dies rivalem suum cominus gladio transfixit Orcoque transmisit; ideo nunc exulat. Sed intra breve tempus restituetur; ita ille mihi promisit qui rerum potitur. Sed quamvis in iram pronus, praestat tamen forma ac virtutum multarum laude. Etenim annos natus non amplius viginti, a capillis usque ad ungues totus luculentus est atque festivus. In ludo gladiatorio, in arte equitandi neminem metuit una aetate qui sit. Praeterea cantat quod Apollo etiam invideat.’ “Tum ego, ‘Hui,’ inquam, ‘puerum elegantem narras. O felicem matrem, quae talem peperit. Sed quod illi dicam esse puero nomen? ’ - ‘Pusillo Pleurae,’ inquit. At ego, ‘Estne, obsecro, maritus? ’ - ‘Isthuc dii prohibeant,’ inquit. ‘Nam hercle etiam hoc unum deesset solicitudinibus, quibus ille me onerat. Sed est illi soror, quae nupta est cum adolescente in primis lepido ac viris principibus caro. Haec praeter formam, de cuius elegantia ad aures tuas pervenisse verisimile est, ita scite fidibus canit, ita ad fidium cantum suavissimam vocem accommodat, ut Iovem etiam possit de caelo deducere. Quamobrem tanti ad eam audiendam principum virorum concursus fiunt, ut, cum eorum amplitudinem et numerum domus mea non caperet, fuerit mihi necesse aedes longe laxiores in celeberrima urbis parte conducere; atque heri minas octo pro semestris habitationis mercede persolvi. Nec mirum, si omnes ita avidas ad eam aures afferant. Iam pridem non est audita. Modo enim ab Anthimo rege revenimus, qui nos ad nuptias sororis suae maximis praemiis accitos, menses apud se continuos octo detinuit. Hanc diligo, quae mihi morigera est ac deos metuit; hanc curo unam, quae me curat nitidiuscule, vestit, ornat. Sed quo pacto res ipsius, quae paupercula est, tot sumptus sufferat, non esse arbitror boni parentis exquirere.’ His auditis, vix tandem intellego hunc esse Pleurae, notissimae meretricis, patrem; ac pudore supra quam dici potest metuque correptus, ne conspicerer ire cum illo in via, multa excusando ementiendoque ab eius latere me tandem evelli atque illam infamiam effugi.” - “En vobis,” inquit Gallonius, “alterum genus hircorum, quod eram oblitus: id cum sit turpissimum, simulatione honestatis ac sanctimoniae opinioni hominum se commendare nititur. Sed istius impudentia eo est intolerabilior, quod rei apertissimae clarissimaeque tenebras offundere conatur ac 285 Ter. Haut. III.i.478-80: “Nam si semel tuum animum ille intellexerit, / Prius proditurum te tuam vitam, et prius / Pecuniam omnem, quam abs te amittas filium.” 15 <?page no="258"?> Book Five 259 know that I would sooner sacrifice my life and all of my money than allow any blemish, even a small one, to tarnish my reputation. What need would I have for life, what need for riches and wealth, if any part of my good name were lost? Besides, I bathe myself every week in a purifying river and sacrifice a lamb to the gods. But my son is confounding my plans, showing me less deference than is proper to show a father. A few days ago, in hand-to-hand combat, he pierced his rival with a sword and sent him to Orcus. He is currently living in exile, but he will soon be allowed to return; that’s what the man who oversees these matters promised. Though prone to anger, he nevertheless excels in his looks and in his many praiseworthy virtues. And since he is no more than twenty years old, he is thoroughly charming and handsome from his hair down to his toenails. He fears no competitor his same age in sword fighting or on horseback. Moreover, he sings in a manner that makes even Apollo envious.’ “At that point I said, ‘My goodness, that is quite a fine young man you are describing. O happy mother who gave birth to such a son! What should I say the boy’s name is? ’ - ‘Pusillus Pleurae,’ 93 he replied. ‘May I ask, is he married? ’ - ‘May the gods prevent it! ’ he said. ‘At least that is one less worry he will burden me with, by God. But he does have a sister, who is married to a young man who, above all, is handsome and is beloved by all of the noblemen. Besides her beauty (you have likely heard of her elegance), she plays the flute so skillfully and conforms her voice to the sound of flutes so beautifully that she could even entice Jove down from the heavens. Because of this there were such throngs of noblemen coming to hear her that, since my house could not accommodate their size and number, I needed to rent a much larger house in the most exclusive part of the city. Yesterday I paid eight minae for a six-month lease on that place. It was no surprise that everyone was so eager to hear my daughter. They had not heard her for a long time. We have only just now returned from visiting King Anthimus, who had invited us to his sister’s wedding with the greatest enticements and hosted us for eight whole months. I love my daughter because she obeys me and fears the gods. I care only for her because she treats me quite splendidly, clothes and dresses me. But as to how her estate, which is very meager, can sustain such expense, I do not think that is for an upstanding father to investigate.’ When I heard this it finally dawned on me that this man was the father of the famous courtesan Pleura. 94 Gripped by a sense of shame 93 This pseudonym derives from the Greek word πλευρά meaning rib, or costa in Latin. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 7. 94 I translate the Latin word meretrix here as “courtesan,” whereas elsewhere I translate it as “prostitute” or “whore” (for example, in reference to the character Nanna in Book Two). The courtesans (or virtuose) of early modern Italy, whose singing and recitations were an integral part of the entertainment of courtly life, “persisted as one of the great 15 <?page no="259"?> 260 Eudemia in Ten Books contendere mero meridie tenebras esse. 286 Nam quod ait, filiam suam a Rege Anthimo accersitam ad nuptias, aperte mentitur. Illuc enim perducta est ab adolescente, qui eam usurariam habet. Sed ob flagitia et turbas quas effecit, eius regni finibus quantum est pulsa se recepit in patriam.” “Sed de his hactenus,” inquit Aridus. “Nihilne allatum est ad vos de fuga Lyconis trapezitae? ” - “Nihil,” inquit Gallonius. “Sed quid audio? Lyco trapezita fecit id quod servi improbi solent? Quod si verum est, profecto decem minae, quas heri apud eum deposui, periere.” - “Bono animo es,” inquit Aridus, “hoc infortunium est tibi commune cum multis. Nam heri non cessavit a mane ad vesperam usque argentum ad se allatum accipere; omnibus acceptum referre; nemini expensum ferre 287 ; iis qui transmissae pecuniae syngraphas afferebant, varias occupationes excusare, atque ut postridie reverterentur orare. Quamobrem expletus pecunia, concubia nocte fugam arripuit, vel potius occultavit se in aedibus alicuius potentis, cuius praesidio septus pecunias quas surripuit in tuto constituat. Sed ex multis qui ad hunc scopulum offenderunt, fuere virgines honestae complures ac viduae quae, ut dotes suas, unicum pudicitiae ac solitudinis suae praesidium, a domesticis furibus conservarent, praedoni huic argentario ultro diripiendas detulerunt. O pessimum hominem, et cruce ac suspendio dignum! Atqui esset optandum ut Harpacis, qui proximis annis decoctoribus nomen dedit, similis inveniretur. Non enim pessime cum creditoribus ageretur.” 286 Petron. Sat. 37: “Ad summam, mero meridie si dixerit illi tenebras esse, credet.” 287 Cic. Verr. II.I.XXXIX.100: “Quod minus Dolabella Verri acceptum rettulit quam Verres illi expensum tulerit, HS quingenta triginta quinque milia.” 16 <?page no="260"?> Book Five 261 greater than can be described (and afraid of being spotted walking with him on the street) by making up excuses and lying, I tore myself away from his side and escaped from that disgrace.” - “Well, what do you know.” said Gallonius. “Yet another type of goat I had forgotten about; the kind who, although he is the lowest of the low, strives to ingratiate himself into people’s esteem by feigning honor and virtue. But the impudence of such a man is even more intolerable because he tries to cast shadows over the most manifest and clear matters and insist that it is dark at high noon. He was clearly lying when he said that his daughter had been summoned by King Anthimus to the wedding. She had been brought there by a young man who had paid for her services, but, on account of the scandals and chaos she caused, she was tossed out as soon as possible from the borders of his kingdom and made her way back to her homeland.” “But enough about that,” said Aridus. “Has any word reached you about Lyco 95 the banker running away? ” - “Nothing,” replied Gallonius. “But what’s this I hear? Lyco the banker did what wicked slaves are known to do? 96 If what you say is true, those ten minae that I deposited at his bank yesterday have most certainly disappeared.” - “Cheer up,” said Aridus. “You have this misfortune in common with many others. Yesterday, from sunup to sundown, he never stopped accepting deposits of silver that were brought to him; entering everyone’s amounts as paid; not recording anyone’s receipts; and making excuses to those who brought him promissory notes for money that had been spent, saying he was busy and asking them to come back the next day. Flush with cash because of this, he fled in the dead of night, or rather, he hid out in the home of some powerful man, whose protection he enjoyed, in order to stash the tourist attractions” of urban centers such as Rome and Venice (Cohen 1991: 201-2). The characterization of these female performers as prostitutes is frequently found in the contemporary writings of men in elite academic circles where such descriptions functioned as a “kind of ‘society game’ usefully facilitating relations among men” (Cox 2008: 193, as quoted in Brosius 2009: 17). The virtuose performers of early modern courtly society were expected to have sex with their elite patrons should they be asked to do so (Brosius 2009: 31-2). Cohen (1991: 201-2) stresses that the rhetorical distinction between sophisticated “courtesans” and lowly “prostitutes” or “whores” is one that has been retrospectively imposed by the prejudices of later scholars who, while examining the status of the women who moved in the elite courtly circles of early modern Italy, “have tried to deal with the ambiguity of the prostitute’s complex role by highlighting one dimension and implicitly denying another.” 95 Lyco is the name of a banker in Plaut. Curc. This story about Lyco the banker, and the following story about Harpax the cloth merchant, are replete with technical terminology about credit, debt, collateral, and promissory documents, reflecting Rossi’s own earlycareer training in contract law under the mentorship of the renowned Sienese lawyer Lepido Piccolomini. 96 The runaway slave is a frequent trope in ancient literature, and instances of fugitive slaves are well attested in documentary evidence (Bradley 1994: 118-21). 16 <?page no="261"?> 262 Eudemia in Ten Books Tum ego, “Quis est iste Harpax? ” - “Hic est pannarius notissimus,” ait, “qui tabernam pannariam ad imum Ianum habuit ibique iuventutem suam exercuit. Verum ante quatuor annos, laboris fortasse pertaesum, libido ingens invasit decoquendi, salvis (imo, etiam florentibus) rebus suis. Neque enim illi navis naufragio, neque merces incendio perierant, nec extraordinarii sumptus aes alienum grande conflaverant; imo contra, semper omnia ex sententia processerant ac vita ipsa duriter ac parce producta pecuniam opesque congesserant. Num tibi parsimoniae illius argumentum dari aliquod postulas? Accipe. Opistographa 288 non abiciebat, sed diligenter collecta ad epistolas quas ipse aliis mitteret amiciendas conservabat. Funiculos quibus epistolarum sibi missarum fasciculi obligabantur, non incidebat, sed solvebat et in alios usus convertebat. Sexcenta sunt quae memorem, si sit otium. At hic mortalis, ita parce parcus, die quodam a prandio accersit ad sese sororis suae filium, quem domi secum alebat. Ostendit illi quam pulchrum sit divitiis affluere; fidem, probitatem, bonam famam esse rerum inanissimarum vocabula; neque enim adhuc bonam hanc existimationem et famam se esse usum pro nummis apud pistorem et lanium; neque vidisse unquam hoc precio aves, pisces et cupedia in macello coemi, sed praesenti pecunia. Satis labori, satis industriae a se traditum esse; nunc anteactos labores et tractari mollius annos, 289 aliud vitae genus exposcere, nempe lepidum, liberale, amoenum, confertum voluptatibus. Sed non posse rem ipsorum, quae non ita magna sit, tot sumptibus suppeditare. Statuisse se petere auxilium ab alienis pecuniis, hoc est, decrevisse se locupletare cum alterius damno, ac ‘Beati erimus,’ inquit, ‘si argentum quod debetur, non reddimus. Tu interea, dum pomeridianum hoc tempus quieti somnoque concedo, curriculo hinc ad quaestorem excurre; ab eoque, simulato rerum nostrarum naufragio ac ruina, precibus, lacrimis diploma vel iussum extorquere quo caveatur ne creditorum quisquam molestus sit nobis. De reliquo mihi curae erit. Sudabunt, si dii volent. 290 Neque erit difficile impe- 288 opistographum: parchment or papyrus that has text written on both sides. 289 Hor. Sat. II.II.84-6: “ubique / accedent anni, tractari mollius aetas / imbecilla volet.” This satire is often given the title “De frugalitate,” so it is fitting that Rossi quotes a bit of it here in the story of the frugal cloth merchant. 290 Cic. Verr. II.III.LXVII.157: “ipsi sudabunt, si di volent.” 17 <?page no="262"?> Book Five 263 money he had stolen in a safe place. Among the many people who were dashed against this rock, there were a great many honest maidens and widows who, in order to protect their dowries (the only defense they have of their modesty and against destitution) from thieving relatives, deposited them with this crooked banker only to see them wantonly plundered. What a horrible man, deserving of crucifixion and hanging! In any case, let’s hope that Lyco is found to be like Harpax, 97 who added his name to the bankrupts in recent years. It would not turn out so badly for the creditors! ” “Who is this Harpax? ” I asked. “He is that notorious cloth merchant who had his fabric shop at the bottom of Janus’s Exchange where he spent his youth. Four years ago, when he got tired of working, he was overcome by a great desire to declare bankruptcy, even though his business was still whole, indeed flourishing. He didn’t lose anything in a shipwreck, nor was his merchandise destroyed in a fire, and there were no extraordinary expenditures causing him to run up a large debt. On the contrary, everything always proceeded according to plan and, thanks to a life lived with difficulty and sparingly, his various business interests amassed money and resources. Do you need evidence of this man’s frugality? Here it is: He never threw away used pieces of paper, but instead he diligently collected them and saved them to use as envelopes for letters that he sent to others. He never cut the twine that bundles of letters sent to him were tied up with, but instead he untied them and put them to other uses. I could give you a hundred examples, if I had the time. One day, after lunch, this man, being such a miserly miser, summoned his sister’s son before him, whom he had been supporting under his roof. He showed him how wonderful it was to abound in riches, and how loyalty, honesty, and a good reputation were meaningless words. He said that, to this day, he had not been able to use his good esteem or reputation in place of cash at the baker’s or the butcher’s, and that he had never seen anyone purchase fowl, fish, or any other delicacies at the store with such currency, but only with ready cash. He said that he had sacrificed enough of himself to his work and business ventures, that toil was now a thing of the past, and that he was to spend his years more agreeably leading a different sort of life that was, of course, charming, noble, pleasant, and filled with delights. But he said that their own business was not large enough to be able to provide for so many expenses, and that he had decided to seek the help of other people’s money—that is to say, he had decided to enrich himself via the loss of others. He said, ‘If we don’t repay the money we owe, we will be rich. While I spend the afternoon napping in peace, you run as fast as you can to the quaestor and, feigning the loss of our merchandise due to ruin and disaster, pry out of 97 Harpax is the name of a character in Plaut. Pseud. 17 <?page no="263"?> 264 Eudemia in Ten Books trare quod cupimus, cum apud quaestorem plurimum gratia valeamus. Furtum erit manifestum, invidiosum, turpe, sat scio; praeterea una in tota civitate fabula erimus. Sed quid mea? Numne in manu mea est quid vulgus loquatur? ’ “His dictis, otiosus ab animo, 291 totum somno se tradit. Ille ad imperata facienda digreditur, quaestorem adit; quemadmodum Harpax bonis elaverit et creditorum saevitiam extimescat, narrat. 292 Ac simulationem illam malus et lacrimis et vultus confusione convestit. 293 Postremo, ut avunculo suppetias ferat, exorat. Ille habita dicenti fide ac misericordia commotus, plus etiam quam expetebatur attribuit. Re bene gesta, ovans domum revertitur, avunculum adhuc stertentem offendit. Neque voluit dormientem excitare, sed, diplomate ad cervical eius apposito, cubiculo egreditur. Harpax experrectus, dum etiam tum pandiculans oscitatur, 294 fit ut chartam illam sibi ad caput appositam naso diverberet. Sumptam in manus inspicit, legit ac prae gaudio, ‘Sum dives! ’ exclamat. Ac sororis filio, qui ad eam vocem accurrerat, ‘Macte,’ inquit, ‘virtute iuvenis; pulchre, strenue, lepide! Nunc noster es; laudo; dignus es pro hac insigni tua in avunculum pietate, qui meis facultatibus pariter mecum utaris, aut etiam amplius.’ Nec mora; tabernam vestiariam, ut mos est decoctorum, occludit ac pro decoctore se gerit. Spargitur interea rumor Harpacem decoxisse. Mirum, novum, incredibile omnibus videri eum, qui quatuor horas ante opibus et existimatione valuisset, puncto temporis his omnibus eversum concidisse. At creditores non sibi desunt; ad praetorem accurrunt; rem narrant; ut in carcerem detrudatur orant, impetrant. Lictores domum Harpacis advolant, irruunt, impetum in eum faciunt, vincula iniciunt. Ille quaestoris diploma lictoribus in os obicit, impetum adimit, audaciam eripit, atque ultro derisos, una cum creditoribus in malam rem ire compellit. Creditores, ubi hanc rem esse occisam vident, universi conveniunt; queruntur, consultant, quid optimum factu sit quaerunt. Sed omnia consilia frigent; quid agant, non inveniunt. 291 Ter. Phorm. II.ii.340: “Otiosum ab animo.” 292 1637: “quemadmodum Harpax bonis elaverit, narrat, creditorum saevitiam extimescat, ac simulationem illam … ” 293 Petron. Sat. 101: “Poteris hanc simulationem et vultus confusione et lacrimis obumbrare.” 294 Plaut. Men. V.ii.833: “ut pandiculans oscitatur! ” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 8. 18 <?page no="264"?> Book Five 265 him, with entreaties and tears, an official document or an order that warns any creditors to leave us alone. I will take care of the rest. They will sweat it, gods willing, and it will not be difficult to obtain what we want, since we hold a lot of sway with the quaestor. This much I know, the theft will be manifest, odious, and shameful. Besides that, together we will be the talk of the town. But what do I care? Do I have any control over what people say? ’ “When he had finished speaking, he gave himself completely over to sleep, his mind at ease. His nephew left to do as he had been instructed and approached the quaestor. He recounted how Harpax had been cleaned out of his possessions, and how he feared the rage of his creditors. The wicked nephew embellished this deception with a face flush from crying. Finally, he begged the quaestor to help his uncle. Moved by faith in the person speaking and by pity, the quaestor granted the nephew even more than he could have hoped for. Having successfully accomplished his mission, the nephew returned home rejoicing and found his uncle still snoring. He did not want to wake his uncle, who was asleep. Instead, he leaned the quaestor’s document against his uncle’s pillow and left the room. Harpax woke up, and, while he was still yawning and stretching, he happened to bump his nose against the piece of paper that had been placed near his head. He picked it up, looked at it, read it, and exclaimed with joy, ‘I’m rich! ’ And to his sister’s son, who had come running when he heard his voice, he said, ‘Well done, young man! Bravo! That was fast! Nicely done! Congratulations, now you are one of us! Because of your extraordinary sense of loyalty toward your uncle, you deserve to enjoy my riches with me equally, and even more so.’ As is the way of bankrupts, he immediately closed up his fabric shop and behaved like one. In the meantime, word spread about Harpax’s bankruptcy. Everyone thought it was astonishing, strange, and incredible that Harpax, who just four hours earlier had been in excellent shape in terms of wealth and reputation, had been cleaned out of everything in the blink of an eye and had fallen into ruin. But he had no shortage of creditors. They ran to the praetor, told him what had happened, and begged for Harpax to be taken off to jail. Lictors flew to Harpax’s house, ran in, seized him, and tossed him into chains. He stuck the quaestor’s document in the lictors’ faces, fended off their attack, shook their confidence, and, after mocking them shamelessly, he told them and his creditors to go to hell. His creditors, when they saw that their plan had been foiled, got together, complained, consulted with each other, and sought the best course of action. But all of their plans fell flat and they could not figure out what to do. 18 <?page no="265"?> 266 Eudemia in Ten Books “Sed dum ita aestuant, procedit in medium unus qui erat in consilio, clam ab isto summissus, quique magnam pecuniae rationem se cum eo habere assimulabat, ac ‘Si licet,’ inquit, ‘loqui quod sentio, ego darem operam, ut, si fieri posset, ad aliquam cum eo pactionem conditionemque venirem. Nam quamvis multa apud eum bona reperiantur, attamen magnam eorum partem, dotis nomine, sibi mater vendicat, magnam etiam sororis filius; quorum singuli tum magnitudine pecuniae, tum temporis intervallo unicuique nostrum antecedunt.’ Inventus est nemo qui non cum eo transigendum putaret. Satius enim esse aiebant partem aliquam crediti quam totum amittere. Et simul isti negotium dant ut hominem adeat, causam creditorum suscipiat et quam minimo potest detrimento rem cum eo decidat. Postridie revertitur; vix Harpacem eo a se perductum narrat, ut singulis creditoribus intra biennium dimidium eius, quod debet, exolvat. Illud a se extortum (et quidem summa cum vi), ut eius quod promitteret praedes matrem ac sororis filium daret. Clamant omnes, ‘Audaciam! Impudentiam! Quid enim excogitari impudentius potest quam velle dimidiam crediti partem sibi remitti, et ad id quod superest enumerandum biennium exposcere? ’ Tum ille qui retulerat, ‘Agite,’ inquit, ‘ut lubet. Matris ac sororis filii creditum totas eius facultates exhaurit sane. Quod ad me attinet, mihi certum ac deliberatum est cum illo transigere.’ At miseri creditores, postquam ira deferbuit, inter sacrum saxumque se positos esse intellegentes, 295 statuunt de communi sententia fortunae cedere atque id quod dabatur accipere. Decretum fit in verba illius qui rem proposuerat; ac scribendo ad unum omnes intersunt. “Harpax, tanta recente pecunia locupletatus, ad clivum Iani, amoeno atque ab arbitris remoto loco, aedes magnificas ac viridarium illis adiunctum magna mercede conducit; raedam et familiam comparat; ornat quotidie laute magnificeque convivium; et quo aliqua se simulatione existimationi hominum vindicet, ut non suo sed fortunae vitio naufragium bonorum fecisse videatur, templa deorum immortalium frequentat, ad omnia eorum pulvinaria, positis genibus, orat. Sed cum 295 Plaut. Capt. III.iv.616-7: “Nunc ego omnino occidi, / Nunc ego inter sacrum saxumque sto, nec quid faciam scio”; Apul. Met. XI.28: “quod ait vetus proverbium, inter sacrum ego et saxum positus cruciabar.” 19 20 <?page no="266"?> Book Five 267 “While they were all in a rage, a man came forward who was in cahoots with Harpax (and had been secretly dispatched by him), and he pretended to have a substantial balance of funds with Harpax. He said, ‘If I am permitted to speak as I see fit, I will work out some sort of terms and agreement with him, if possible. Although he has a great deal of assets, his mother nevertheless claims a significant portion of it as her dowry, as does his sister’s son. Each of them has precedence over any one of us, both in the amount of money and in the length of time they have had a claim to it.’ None of the creditors doubted that this man could work out an agreement with Harpax. They said that a partial repayment would be preferable to losing everything, and they immediately assigned this man the task of approaching Harpax, taking up their cause, and settling the matter with him with as little damage as possible. The man returned the next day saying that, with difficulty, he had persuaded Harpax to pay each creditor, within two years, half of what he owed; and that he had gotten him to agree (and even that with the greatest force) to offer up his mother and his sister’s son as collateral for what he had promised. They all cried out, ‘What audacity! What impertinence! Who could think up a more impudent proposal than agreeing to have only half of what is owed to you returned; and, what is more, to have to beg for that amount to be paid out over two years? ’ The man who had reported back to them said, ‘Do as you please; his mother’s and his sister’s son’s debt has surely depleted all of his resources. As far as I am concerned, I am definitely set on coming to an agreement with him.’ After their anger had subsided, the poor creditors realized that they were caught between a rock and a hard place, and they unanimously decided to swallow their fate and accept the deal that was on the table. They made their decision based on the word of the man who had proposed the deal, and, to a person, they all consented to it in writing. “Harpax, enriched by such a recent windfall, rented a magnificent villa on Janus Hill, along with its adjoining gardens, at great expense—a beautiful place far removed from onlookers. 98 He acquired a carriage, servants for his household, and he hosted sumptuous and splendid feasts on a daily basis. In order to redeem himself in people’s estimation via some deception, and to make it seem as if his ruin had been the fault of Fortune and not his own, he frequently visited the temples of the immortal gods and prayed on his knees at the altars of all the gods. But when he cries aloud 98 This is likely a reference to Rossi’s own house on the Janiculum Hill, which he frequently mentions in his body of work. In a 1641 letter to Fabio Chigi (Ep. ad Tyrr. I.II), he describes his house as follows: “Itaque non inelegantem domum … conduxi, unde amoenissumus est prospectus in Urbem et in circumiectos Urbi campos” (“I have rented a rather nice house … with a most splendid view of the City and its surrounding countryside”). 19 20 <?page no="267"?> 268 Eudemia in Ten Books ‘Iane pater’ clare, clare cum dixit ‘Apollo,’ labra movet, metuens audiri: ‘Pulchra Laverna, da mihi fallere, da sanctum iustumque videri, noctem peccatis et fraudibus obice nubem.’” 296 Haec cum Aridus dixisset, silentium est consecutum. Sed paulo post Gallonius, tanquam ab aliquo somno excitatus, sive dolore naufragae, vel potius pessundatae pecuniae percussus, sive iracundia elatus, “Fures,” inquit, “isti et praedones manifestarii, si meo arbitratu liceat, omnes pendeant. 297 Sed quonam meo fato fieri dicam, ut nemo abhinc triennium conturbaverit, quin meas etiam fortunas perturbaverit? 298 Nonne Pleusides ille, qui ante duos annos argentariam fecit, mihi etiam imposuit? Nam minas quatuor abstulit.” - “At me non fefellit,” inquit Aridus. “Nam faciem cum aspiceres, nonne ipsum caput et supercilia olere crucem et clamitare furcas videbantur? ” - “At fecit eleganter,” excepit Gallonius. “Nam priusquam pecunias cuiusquam attingeret, clam omnes in publicas tabulas referendum curavit nihil sibi esse in terris, ubi in suo pedem poneret, 299 sed ad patruum amitamque quae sua putarentur omnia spectare. Tum coepit ab omnibus pecunias accipere, permutare. Postremo, refertus pecunia, in proximum huic insulae regnum ad expugnandas aliorum pecunias castra commovit. Nam audio novam ibi argentariam, hoc est, novam praedandi rationem instituisse.” “Sed cur non etiam,” inquit Aridus, “huic narras Septimi Pleusippi furtum, omnium quae memoravimus improbissimum? Fortasse quia immunis ab eo discesseris, neque una cum aliis fueris detonsus? ” - “Non, edepol,” Gallonius ait, “in mentem venerat. Nam tantus est istorum furum numerus, ut non sit mirum, si mihi nonneminem eorum multitudo subducat. Sed quaeso, narra tu illi. Ira enim, qua efferor, paene mihi mentem extorquet.” Tum Aridus, “Libenter,” inquit. “Hic Septimus, quem dicimus, argentariam quam multos annos fecerat, ex improviso dissolvit; atque imperat filio, quem maliciose emancipaverat, ut novam argentariam instituat; et pecunias quas in nominibus habebat, quae erant maximae, ac debebantur ab iis qui tunc solvendo non erant, a se coemat. Ille, uti erat imperatum, facit; ac novus trapezita pecunias ab omnibus accipit patrique deinceps, pro nominibus emptis, solutionis iure dinumerat. At pater, postquam 296 Hor. Epist. I.XVI.59-62. 297 Plaut. Pseud. I.v.428: “si meo arbitratu liceat, omnes pendeant.” 298 Cic. Phil. 2.1.1: “quonam meo fato, patres conscripti, fieri dicam ut nemo his annis viginti rei publicae fuerit hostis qui non bellum eodem tempore mihi quoque indixerit? ” 299 Cf. Cic. Phil. 2.19.48: “Quid erat in terris ubi in tuo pedem poneres praeter unum Misenum, quod cum sociis tamquam Sisaponem tenebas? ” 21 22 23 <?page no="268"?> Book Five 269 ‘Father Janus, Apollo’ he moves his lips, afraid of being heard: ‘Fair Laverna, let me go unnoticed; let me seem good and just; cover my sins with the night and my fraud with clouds.’” 99 When Aridus had finished speaking, everyone fell silent. After a short time Gallonius, as if awakened out of a sleep, either shaken by the pain of his shipwrecked (or rather, his sunk-to-the-bottom) money, or carried away by rage, said, “These brazen thieves and robbers! If it were up to me, they’d all be hanged! But to what fate should I ascribe it that, for three years now, no one has gone bankrupt without also throwing my fortunes into chaos? Didn’t Pleusides, 100 who was a banker two years ago, also pull a fast one on me? He robbed me of four minae.” - “He didn’t fool me,” said Aridus. “When you looked at his face, his very head and eyebrows seemed to reek of the cross and cry out for the fork, didn’t they? ” Gallonius followed up, “But he did it so elegantly. Before he laid a hand on anyone’s money, he secretly had it recorded in all the public records that he had no place on earth to call his own, but that everything thought to be his belonged to his uncle and aunt. Then he began taking money from everyone and exchanging it. Finally, flush with cash, he pulled up stakes and went to the next kingdom over from this island, in order to swindle more people out of their money. I hear that he has established a new bank there, that is to say, a new mechanism for plundering.” Aridus said, “Why don’t you also tell him about the theft of Septimus Pleusippus, the most shameless of all of the thieves we’ve talked about? Is it perhaps because you managed to escape from him unharmed and didn’t lose your shirt along with the others? ” - “My God, I had forgotten about him. There are so many of those thieves that it’s no wonder the sheer number of them makes me unable to remember any individual one. But please, you tell the story. My anger, which is causing me great distress, is almost driving me mad.” - “Gladly,” Aridus replied. “This Septimus, whom we mentioned, suddenly dissolved the bank he had been managing for many years, and he ordered his son (whom he had cunningly emancipated 101 ) to start up a new bank and buy off of him the money he had recorded as debts, which was substantial and owed by people 99 Translation of these verses of Hor. Epist. I.XVI.59-32 from Horace and Fairclough 1926. Laverna is the goddess of thieves and cheats. 100 Pleusides is the name of a character in Plaut. Mil. 101 In Roman law, sons remained under their father’s legal control (patria potestas) until the father’s death, meaning that a son did not exist as an independent legal entity and could not, for example, own any property of his own. A son could become independent while the father was still alive only via the legal process of emancipation (emancipatio) at which point he became sui iuris. The sense here is that Septimus needs his son to open 21 22 23 <?page no="269"?> 270 Eudemia in Ten Books illam rei familiaris lacunam explevisse 300 visus est satis, filium appellat ac, ‘Satis,’ inquit, ‘fili, officio nostro fecimus; satis rei familiari nostrae prospeximus; satis Lavernam propitiam habuimus; aegre enim ferebam prope conturbasse rem nostram, debitorum improbitate. Nunc autem, cum eam in suam rationem revertisse iam videam, aequum arbitror ut pecuniis miserorum innocentium parcamus. Nam quemadmodum eos laudo qui dant operam rei suae, etiam cum alterius iniuria, ita eos odi, qui cupiditate longius prodeunt nec finem praedandi constituunt. Quamobrem facias, censeo, quod vulgus argentariorum solet, ut fuga rem solvas, hoc est, tantisper te in aliquam dynastae cuiuspiam domum abdas, dum ego creditoribus tuis aliqua decisione faciam satis. Neque minus meae partes erunt perficere ut quamprimum tibi prodire in publicum liceat.’ “Non moratur, sed statim summittit aliquot qui spargant in vulgus filium decoxisse. Ad hanc vocem creditores accurrunt, Septimi domum obsident, bona describunt, tabulas obsignant. Fit obviam illis Septimus et, ‘Quid,’ inquit, ‘domi meae vobis debetur? ’ - ‘Iam scies,’ inquiunt. ‘Ambula in ius! ’ Ille non invitus sequitur; venit ad praetorem; ostendit nihil eam rem ad se pertinere; filium emancipatum suas res ipsum agere. Ergo liber dimittitur; illi tristes abscedunt. Verum pater amantissimus, memor polliciti sui, de filio reducendo cum creditoribus agit. Quibus convocatis, eiusmodi conditionem affert, qua miseris crediti maior pars deperibat. Illi, qui eas pecunias in conclamatis haberent, pauxillulum quod deferebatur tanquam de caelo demissum arripiunt. Verum felicitates fere nunquam solae contingunt, sed nexae copulataeque inter sese proveniunt. Nam qui ita fuerat felix in furando, obtinuit etiam ut mala illa nomina quae filio divenderat, bona evaderent; ab eisque totum quod sibi debebatur exigeret; multumque deprecantibus nonnullis ac bonam copiam eiurantibus, ne unius quidem assis gratiam faceret. Unus adhuc scrupulus adolescentem cupidum existimationis bonae torquebat, videlicet infamia turpitudoque, qua sese constrinxerat, ac, ‘Poterone posthac,’ aiebat, ‘ora civium aspicere aut populo huic os meum ostendere? ’ Cui pater, ‘Tace,’ inquit, ‘stulte. Pecunia hic, non fama respicitur. Dum ea integra sit, si qua famae labes insedit, facile eluitur.’ Sed statim filius, ‘Arbitror,’ inquit, ‘o pater, me rationem invenisse recuperandae existimationis amissae. Est hic philosophus ex Stoicorum disciplina, magna apud omnes exist- 300 Cic. Verr. II.II.LV.138: “dederunt operam ut ita potestatem gererent ut illam lacunam rei familiaris explerent.” 24 <?page no="270"?> Book Five 271 who at that point were not able to pay. The son did as he was told. This newly established banker took money from everyone, which, in turn, he signed over to his father as right of payment for the debt he had bought. But the father, after it seemed he had satisfactorily made his family estate whole, summoned his son and said, ‘Son, we have done our duty well enough. We have satisfactorily taken care of our family estate, and Laverna has been sufficiently on our side. Indeed, it was hard for me to see our estate almost fall into ruin on account of dishonest debtors. Since I now see that our estate has returned to good order, I believe it is right to go easy on the pockets of those poor innocent people. Just as I praise those who take care of their own affairs, even through injury to others, I likewise despise those who go too far and impose no limit on their thieving. For this reason, I think you should do what bankers are known to do, namely, to discharge your debts by fleeing; that is, to hide out in the house of some dynast for a while, until I am able to satisfy your creditors with some sort of settlement. It will be just as much my responsibility to see that you are permitted to show your face in public again as soon as possible.’ “Septimus did not delay but immediately dispatched several people to spread the word that his son had gone bankrupt. Hearing this news, the creditors rushed over, blockaded his house, made a list of his possessions, and put a seal on the records. 102 Septimus countered them, saying, ‘What does my household owe you? ’ - ‘You’ll soon find out,’ they responded. ‘Walk to court! ’ 103 Septimus willingly obeyed, approached the praetor, demonstrated that the matter did not involve him, and that his emancipated son was responsible for managing his own affairs. Thus, he was sent away a free man, and the creditors left crestfallen. But that most loving father, mindful of his promise, acted to return his son to the creditors’ good graces. He gathered them together and explained the sort of circumstance by which the greater part of that unfortunate loan was lost. They thought they had completely lost their money and seized upon what little they were able to walk away with, as if it had been sent down from heaven. But instances of good fortune hardly ever occur alone; they arise joined together in pairs. Septimus was so successful in his thieving that he even transformed the unsecured debts, which he had sold to his son, into good cash. He managed to his own bank in order to buy up his (the father’s) debts, so he schemes to emancipate him in order to make that possible under the law. 102 Placing a seal on the house or effects of someone accused of theft was a way for an accuser to prevent the removal of the stolen goods, which he needed both as evidence of the theft and because he wanted to get them back. 103 The Latin is ambula in ius. That a defendant must go to court when called is the first law of the Twelve Tables: “Si in ius vocat, ito, ni it, antestamino; igitur em capito” (“If a plaintiff summons a defendant to court, he shall go. If he does not go, the plaintiff shall call a witness thereto. Then only shall he take the defendant by force”). 24 <?page no="271"?> 272 Eudemia in Ten Books imatione ac nomine, qui festis diebus in concionibus, quas habet ad populum, luxuriam et avaritiam nostrorum hominum insectatur; eum omnes tanquam de caelo delapsum intuentur. Hunc ego sectari constituo et arctissima mihi familiaritate coniungere. Ita enim facile quod deliquerim, in eius probitate occultabo.’ Placet patri ratio. Itaque se illi philosopho applicat, eius lateri haeret, concionanti assidet, pallium servat, linteum, quo sudorem abstergat, defert. Sed dum vult occultare se, prodit; dum nititur infamiae vulnera sanare, exulcerat. Magis enim homines in hac tam putida simulatione stomachantur ac offenduntur.” Haec Aridus verbis acerrime persequens, ocularibus ex theca detractis nasoque adhibitis, in summam plateam aciem intendit. Quo etiam Gallonius intuens, “Ecce,” inquit, “Salvium Typhernatem cum Lepido Gallutio Sinistro, Minutii filio. Hunc Lepidum Aridus statim laudabit atque extemporalibus versibus ad studium virtutis impellet.” Neque Gallonius aberravit; nam Aridus advorsum Lepido veniens, sic orsus est: “Pieridum lux alma, vale, generosa Sinistrae 301 progenies stirpis, qua non praestantior ulla, seu pietate virum, numero seu certet avorum. Te salvere iubet longo gravis Aridus aevo, sed gravior vasto veteris sub pondere culpae, 5 quae sursum nitentem animum compellit ad ima. Scilicet assiduus peccandi contulit usus, 301 This poem is almost identical to a poem Rossi dedicated to Cardinal Francesco Maria Mancini, son of Paolo Mancini. The poem to Cardinal Mancini is part of a 1635 letter to Giovanni Zaratino Castellini (Ep. ad div. 1.III.5). 25 26 <?page no="272"?> Book Five 273 demand the entire amount from those who owed him, while they pleaded vigorously swearing oaths as to their insolvency, and that they would not reduce their debt by even one as. One doubt still remained to torment Septimus’s son, who was desirous of a good reputation, namely the dishonor and disgrace that had left him in a bind. He asked, ‘Will I ever be able to look my fellow citizens in the eye after this, or show my face to my people? ’ To which the young man’s father responded, ‘Be quiet, you fool. In this town it is money that’s respected, not your reputation. As long as your funds are intact, if you ever incur a black mark against your reputation, it is easily washed away.’ But the son immediately replied, ‘Father, I believe I have found a way to recover my lost good name. There is a philosopher here from the Stoic school who enjoys a great reputation and renown among the people. During the public assemblies he holds on feast days, he inveighs against the luxury and greed of our citizens, and everyone admires him as if he were descended from heaven. I am determined to follow this man and join myself to him in close association. In this way, I can hide whatever wrongdoing I commit behind his uprightness.’ His father approved of this plan, so the son attached himself to this philosopher, clung to his side, sat next to him during his public assemblies, guarded his cloak, and brought him a handkerchief for wiping his sweat away. While wanting to hide, however, he exposed himself, and while striving to heal the wounds of his dishonor, he exacerbated them. Indeed, people became more irritated and offended by such a rotten deception.” Following on this story with sharp words, Aridus took his spectacles out of their case, placed them on his nose, and directed his gaze toward the top of the square. Gallonius looked there as well and said, “Look, it’s Salvius Tifernas with Lepidus Gallutius Sinister, son of Minutius. Aridus will praise Lepidus forthwith and encourage him in his pursuit of virtue with his extemporaneous verses.” And Gallonius was not wrong. Aridus walked toward Lepidus and began thus: “Farewell, nourishing light of the Muses, noble progeny of the Sinister line; none is more distinguished than yours, whether in regard to the piety of its men or the number of its ancestors. Aridus greets you, burdened by old age, but burdened even more by the great weight of an ancient fault that has driven his soul, which had been striving upward, down to the deepest depths. A persistent habit of sinning weakens a man’s strength in battle, should a fierce army of vices take up arms in combat. But the hoary mind of aged men holds fast to your tender years, a steadfast love of probity, and a desire for praise. Is it any wonder that mad pleasure, with its deceptive varnish, cannot make sport of the man whom beautiful wisdom nourishes with her own nectar, or smear him with ugly mud? Hail to your soul! Hail to your mind! This is how the lofty and celebrated virtue of great Hercules shines. He favored narrow paths over wide ones and steep crags over flowers and beautiful fields. That is to say, he placed 25 26 <?page no="273"?> 274 Eudemia in Ten Books ut tenues misero subsint in proelia vires, si ferat arma furens vitiorum cominus agmen. At tibi cana senum teneris mens haeret in annis 10 atque tenax probitatis amor laudumque cupido. Sed quem pulchra suo sapientia nectare pascit, quid mirum, falso nequeat si ludere fuco vel turpi maculare luto male sana voluptas? Macte animo, macte ingenio, sic ardua magni 15 Amphitruoniadae 302 virtus laudata nitescit. Ille iter angustum laxo praeruptaque saxa floribus et campis potiora putavit amoenis. 303 Hoc est, posthabuit rigido damnata labori otia et ancipiti plumosa cubilia bello. 20 Hinc superans diram prostravit cominus hydram 304 notaque fatali portenta labore subegit. 305 Nempe domat validisque ligat fera monstra catenis nec generosa putat quidquam insuperabile virtus. Tuque etiam ingenuas centum, puer, aptus ad artes, 25 argilla quidvis imitabere flexilis uda, si cultura frequens menti non desit opimae. Eia age, ne cesses. Nam quae tibi gaudia surgent, ardua dum feriet volucris tua gloria pennis aera praepetibus teque altis inseret astris? 30 Praeterea quae dira cohors, quae saeva malorum agmina praetereant, toto quae pectore tristes diffugiant curae, dum sic ea spernis et horres, 302 Amphitruoniadae: Hercules (son of Amphitrio); cf. also Verg. Aen. VIII.103. 303 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 10) notes that l. 16-8 of this poem recall the story of Hercules at the crossroads. 304 hydrum 1637 305 Hor. Epist. II.I.10-11: “Diram qui contudit hydram / notaque fatali portenta labore subegit.” <?page no="274"?> Book Five 275 harsh labor and hazardous war above wretched leisure and feather beds. Overcoming this, he struck down the fierce hydra in combat and subdued the fabled monsters with his fateful labor. He famously lays low and hobbles wild beasts with strong chains, and his noble courage finds nothing to be insurmountable. Young man, capable of a hundred noble arts and pliant as wet clay, you will imitate anything as long as your fertile mind has access to frequent cultivation. Do it quickly; do not delay. What joys will rise in you when your glory, with the swift wings of a bird, smites the lofty air and places you among the highest stars? Moreover, what dread cohort, what savage troop of troubles may pass you by, what sad cares will flee from your whole heart, when you scorn and shrink from those things that lacerate a vexed mind with burning torments and infect it with marks that can be blotted out only with floods of tears? Oh, if only I—not slothful as I was before—were permitted to live my youth over again, committing my path to your footsteps. But, since the period of bygone time does not return, it remains for me to see you forge ahead at an unhindered pace, through the liberal arts, all the way to the heights of lofty renown; and, joined with a throng that hangs on your every word, I will offer up to you effusive applause from my joyful heart, whether a chorus of the Muses recites learned poems, or a thousand eyes admire you as you speak, or whether anyone takes you on as an advocate for their cases. In the meantime, pass on my greetings to your father and your brother. So that lasting pride may come to your father from your accomplishments, may Lachesis 104 spin out her gold thread with her fingers, and not stop drawing out your distinguished life in rich thread before your father reaches Nestor’s 105 ripe old age.” 104 Lachesis, one of the three Fates in Greek mythology, measures the thread spun on Clotho’s spindle, which determines the thread, or length, of life. 105 Nestor of Pylos was famous for having lived a long time (Horace, for example, calls him “ter aevo functus” Hor. Carm. II.9.13). <?page no="275"?> 276 Eudemia in Ten Books quae lacerant animum stimulis ardentibus aegrum inficiuntque notis lacrimarum fonte luendis? 35 O si demensae metiri tempora vitae sit mihi fas iterum, quam non ego segnis, ut ante, molliter exactae repararem damna iuventae, ad tua commissum repetens vestigia cursum? Sed cum non redeat defluxi temporis aetas, 40 restat inoffenso cernam te pergere gressu per pulchras artes ad celsae culmina laudis; immistusque tuo turbae quae pendet ab ore effusos hilari reddam tibi pectore plausus, vel si docta chorus Musarum carmina dictet, 45 vel si suspiciant oculi te mille loquentem, vel si patronum causis sibi quisquis adoptet. Dic patri interea multam fratrique salutem. Sed quo longa patri contingant gaudia de te, aurea fila neat Lachesis, nec divite lana 50 cesset honoratam digitis producere vitam ille prius longos quam Nestoris impleat annos.” Non cessasset usque ad noctem versus effundere, nisi Gallutius, qui fortasse aliquo properabat, salvere iussum reliquisset. Unde conversus ad Gallonium, “Doleo,” inquit, “me tibi attulisse nuntium non ita iucundum.” - “Imo, gratias habeo,” ait Gallonius, “quod eius me participem feceris. Restat mihi rogandus dynasta meus ut mittat praetori, qui dicat ut honoris sui gratia in causa Lyconis nulla mihi fiat iniuria. Non enim dubito quin pro opera, quam illi fideliter navo, patrocinium meum sit arrepturus.” Sed discedentes remoratur Iberus ille, qui in Academia rationem tuendae per aestatem valetudinis quatuor versiculis comprehenderat, quique revertebatur ex buleuterio, ubi a poliarchis praeter prandium, merendam etiam exegerat. Ego non invitus restiti. Eram enim cupidus hominis suavissimi degustandi. At eum videmus pedissequos atratos post se duos habere. Rogat Aridus, quemnam lugeat mortuum. Num fratrem? Num sororem? Num amitam? Num materteram? At ille, “Me,” inquit, “lugeo extinctum.” - “Quid ais? Sanusne es? ” inquit 27 28 <?page no="276"?> Book Five 277 Aridus would never have stopped pouring forth verses into the wee hours if Gallutius, who was perhaps rushing off somewhere, had not said goodbye and left. Aridus turned to Gallonius and said, “I am sorry to have been the bearer of bad news.” - “On the contrary,” said Gallonius, “I am grateful that you kept me informed. I just have to ask my dynast to send someone to the praetor to ensure that, out of respect for his position, I won’t suffer any injury during Lyco’s trial. I do not doubt that, in exchange for the service I faithfully render him, he will secure my protection.” As we were leaving, Iberus detained us, the one who, in the Academy gathering, had expressed in four verses his method for maintaining his health throughout the summer. He was on his way back from the senate house where, besides his lunch, he had extracted an afternoon snack from the poliarchs. I stayed willingly because I desired to make the acquaintance of this most charming man. We saw that he had two attendants following him dressed in black. Aridus asked which dearly departed he was mourning, whether it was perhaps his brother, his 27 28 <?page no="277"?> 278 Eudemia in Ten Books Aridus. “Si ad istam rationem sunt omnes mortui, mortem nihil moror.” Respondet, “Ego dicam tibi. Neminem habeo, neque cognatum neque affinem, qui mihi mortuo funus faciat, neque mea causa sibi familiaeve suae filum atrum imponat. Ergo illud officium, quo cariturus sum mortuus, ipse mihi ex parte vivens impertio. Imo si scias ubi mihi sepulcrum faciendum locaverim, laudes.” - “Fortasse,” inquit Aridus, “in aede Apollinis, Minervae, vel Martis? ” - “Minime,” ait ille, “sed ad murum urbis, in ea parte ubi paululum ille inclinat atque propendet; qui locus ‘Ad murum obliquum’ appellatur. Nam arbitror me invenisse rationem a nemine adhuc excogitatam, qua meum nomen futuris omnibus saeculis in hominum ore defigam, vel saltem vivacior quam Ennius volitem per ora virum. 306 Nam ibi (ut scis) malleo hastato ac pila lignea luditur. Erit itaque saxum illud meum perpetuus scopus signumque ubi ludentes colliment perpetuoque audientur haec verba: ‘Dirigamus pilam ad saxum Iberi.’ Neque multi dies intercedent cum locus ille, commutato nomine, ‘Saxum Iberi’ vocabitur. Atque paucos hic habeo versiculos, quos saxo illi incidendos locem.” - “Obsecro,” inquit Aridus, “nisi molestum est, perlege. Nunquam enim propagandi nominis causa elegantius quidquam me audisse confiteor.” Tum Iberus, “Nihil possum tibi roganti negare: “Hic situs ille iacet, qui nomine dictus Iberus tempora militiae floridiora dedit. Post aulae totos per denos contulit annos, cum largas mendax pollicita esset 307 opes. Sed vix emunctam nummis recreare crumenam 5 vel sicco potuit pellere ab ore famem. Nunc, ubi propendet declivi vertice murus, malleo ac e ligno luditur usque pila, mortuus aeternum sperat per saecula nomen, si stet pro signo, quod pila missa petat.” 10 306 Cic. Tusc. I.XV.34: “volito vivus per ora virum” (Cicero quotes a poem by Ennius). See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 11. 307 polliceretur 1637, 1645. The emendation to pollicita esset is from the corrigenda in 1645. 29 <?page no="278"?> Book Five 279 sister, or his paternal or maternal aunt. He responded, “I am mourning myself. I am dead.” - “What are you talking about? ” said Aridus. “Are you quite well? If this is how all dead people act, I will not put it off.” Iberus responded, “I will tell you. I don’t have any family, either my own or by marriage, who will arrange my funeral when I am gone, or who will place a black ribbon around his arm, or around that of a member of his household, in memory of me. Therefore, I have taken this duty upon myself, while I am still alive, that I will not have after I am dead. In fact, if you knew where I have arranged for my tomb to be built, you would approve.” Aridus said, “Is it perhaps in the Temple of Apollo, Minerva, or Mars? ” - “No,” he responded. “It will be near the city wall, at the part where it inclines and slopes downward, the place they call the Crooked Wall. 106 I believe I have found a way that no one has ever thought of for fixing my name on men’s lips in future generations, or, at least, for flitting about still living on the lips of men in a livelier fashion than Ennius. As you know, people play there with a mallet and a wooden ball, and so my rock will serve as a permanent target, a marker that every player will take aim at and where the words will forever be heard: ‘Let us aim our ball at Iberus’s Rock.’ Not many days will pass before that place will change its name to Iberus Rock. And I have here a few verses that I will arrange to have carved on it.” - “By all means, read them, if you don’t mind,” said Aridus. “I confess, I have never heard a more elegant plan for propagating one’s name.” Iberus replied, “I am unable to deny anything you ask: “Here lies Iberus, who devoted the best years of his life to military service. Then he served ten whole years at court, because it made him false promises of great wealth. He barely managed to replenish his purse, which had been plundered of money, or keep hunger at bay from his parched lips. Now, where the wall descends from its sloping peak, and where people are always playing ball with wooden mallets, that dead man hopes that, if his name is placed as the target where everyone aims their balls, it will remain eternal throughout the generations.” 106 The Crooked Wall is a reference to the Muro Torto, a steep stretch of the Aurelian Wall in Rome that begins at the Porta Pinciana and descends toward Piazzale Flaminio, cutting through the Villa Borghese. 29 <?page no="279"?> 280 Eudemia in Ten Books Risimus omnes elegans et amoenum hominis ingenium. Sed ille, “Missa isthaec,” inquit, “faciamus. Cras volo, Aride, praediolum tuum invisere. Praepara mihi ientaculum, vel potius mensam pollucibilem extrue. Sed cave in primis ne aliquam mihi vappam apponas, sed vinum invenias quod sit suavissimum. Nisi tibi vites praecidi et caput male multari postulas.” Tum Aridus ridens, “Placide,” inquit, “non nunc hic fabula datur, ubi tu gloriosum ac ferocem militem agas.” Ac medicinam quandam ingressus, scripsit amico cuidam suo hanc epistolam: “Cras mecum ruri conviva recumbet Iberus, integer ac validus, cui bona vina placent. Haec dare si nequeo, tumidus mala multa Lavernae ingerit et capiti non numeranda meo. Quod ni quadrantal vini mihi miseris, olim 5 quo repuli febrim pestiferamque sitim, huius iam rabies malesana refringet Iberi et ruri vites, et mihi fuste caput.” Hac epistola perlecta, actisque Arido gratiis, discedimus et cum Gallonio ad eius dynastae aedes recta via contendimus. Gallonius sine mora ad dynastam introducitur. Sed paulo post tristis egreditur. Quaero quid tristis sit. “Nihil,” respondet. Sed coniectis in caelum oculis, “O quinquennium,” inquit, “apud istum male contritum! Dii, facite ut eius opis nunquam indigeam.” Rogo iterum quid sibi evenerit. Incipit, “Postquam abeo intro, solum eum deambulantem invenio. Qui ad conspectum meum substitit, exspectans quid vellem. Narro quemadmodum Lyco os mihi subleverit. Oro ut me per nuntium praetori commendet. Eripit mihi ille orationem ac prominenti rictu contractoque supercilio, ‘Sanusne,’ inquit, ‘es, qui haec postules? Nescis mihi religionem inesse? Vel ius tecum facit, vel non. Si tecum est, nihil tibi mea opus est commendatione; facile a praetore aequissimo quod iustum est impetrabis. Si tibi ius adversatur, mene idoneum censes, qui vim legibus afferam quique iudicum religionem mea commendatione pervertam? ’ Ego bilem non continui, sed, ‘Quam pridem,’ inquam, ‘haec te incessit religio? Non eras adeo religiosus, cum Toxillum, hominem impurum atque sacrilegum, ita commendabas, ut non posses vehementius.’ Ille iratus, ‘Vide,’ ait, ‘arrogantiam hominis et impudentiam! Non praegustatorem mihi conduxi, sed dominum et magistrum. Commendavi illum, quia mihi libuit; nunc non libet. Quid hoc? 30 31 32 <?page no="280"?> Book Five 281 We all laughed at Iberus’s elegant and delightful talent. He then said, “Enough of that. Aridus, tomorrow I want to visit your place in the country. Prepare breakfast for me, or better yet, put on a sumptuous meal. Most of all, make sure you don’t offer me any insipid wine, but find the most delightful wine available. If not, you are asking for your vines to be cut down and to pay dearly with your life.” Aridus laughed and said, “Please, we are not in that play where you perform the part of the fierce braggart soldier.” Entering some doctor’s office, Aridus wrote this letter to a friend of his: “Tomorrow, Iberus will dine with me as my guest in the country. He is hale and hearty and loves good wine. If I am not able to offer it to him, after he has stuffed himself he will bring down many crimes and countless troubles of Laverna on my head. Because, if you do not send me a quadrans of wine, with which I once fended off a fever and pestilential thirst, the irrational rage of this Iberus will destroy the grapevines of my country estate and break my head open with a stick.” After Aridus had read the letter, we thanked him, took our leave, and made our way with Gallonius straight to his dynast’s house. Gallonius was ushered in to see him without delay, but after a short while, he emerged despondent. I asked him why he was so sad. “It’s nothing,” he replied; but, with his eyes raised skyward, he said, “I have wasted five years in the service of that man! Gods, let me never be in need of his aid.” I asked him again what happened. He began: “After I went inside, I found him taking a stroll by himself. He stopped when he saw me and waited to hear what I wanted. I told him how Lyco had defrauded me, and I begged him to send a message recommending me to the praetor. He cut me off and, barking with laughter and furrowing his brow, he said, ‘Are you out of your mind asking me this? Don’t you know that I have scruples? The law is either on your side, or it’s not. If it is, you don’t need my recommendation because you will easily obtain what is rightfully yours from that most equitable praetor. If it’s not, do you think it would be proper for me to do violence to the law and subvert the conscience of the judges with my recommendation? ’ Unable to contain my anger I said, ‘When exactly did these scruples take hold of you? You were not so scrupulous when vouching for that immoral and impious Toxillus with the utmost enthusiasm.’ He responded angrily, ‘Get a load of the arrogance and impudence of this man! I must have hired a lord and master instead of a taster! I vouched for Toxillus because I wanted to—and now I don’t 30 31 32 <?page no="281"?> 282 Eudemia in Ten Books Audistin? An nondum etiam ne hoc quidem? ’ 308 His auditis, non exspectandum censui dum fustem sumeret ac me plagis contunderet.” “Quid,” inquam ego, “idne tristis es? Tantane tibi amicorum penuria est, ut nunquam sit auxilium, nisi in hoc uno? ” - “Nulla apud nos vilior est,” inquit, “annona quam hominum officiosorum. Nam sunt dynastae omnes in hanc rem ad ambitionem usque propensi. Verum id causae meae adversarium est maxime. Putabit enim praetor me, fracta apud dynastam meum navi, adventiciae nescio cuius commendationis tabulam arripuisse. Quamobrem cum hac suspicione non modo ille me ad voti mei successum, tanquam ad litus, non impellet, verum etiam exortae tempestati exagitandum exorbendumque concedet.” Tum ego, “Quid facias? Mussitandae sunt principum virorum iniuriae, 309 et dolor tuus, ex hac repulsa conceptus, donariis leniendus quibus ab eo quotidie compleris.” - “Derides,” inquit Gallonius, “tu me? Genium meum iratum habeam, 310 si toto hoc quinquennio, quo huius diaria rodo, 311 ex illius donariis nummo uno aureo sum factus locupletior. At si illum audisses cum conduceret operas meas, continuo iurasses omnes eius facultates ac divitias futuras mecum cum ipso communes. Ita promissa largiter extendebat. Ac memini in primis esse pollicitum, ‘O Galloni, modo aliquid inveni in quo mea tibi gratia prodesse aut opera possit; in ea re faciam ut meam in te voluntatem studiumque cognoscas.’ 312 Nunc autem quo promissa spectaverint, vides.” Hic ego, correptus furore poëtico, extemporale hoc carmen effudi: “Quid dominum tumidae contundis verbere linguae, quod tibi promissam ferre negarit opem? Non iure irrisum sic te indignaris in uno, cum tot deludant decipiantque dolis. Spem mentitur ager, caelum tibi saepe serenum 5 imposuit, fregit portus et ipse fidem. Aut simul haec odiis durus complectere, vel, si nolis, cur uni parcere, inepte, negas? ” 308 Ter. An. I.ii.201: “Quid? hoc intellexti? an nondum etiam ne hoc quidem? ” 309 Ter. Ad. II.i.207: “Accipienda et mussitanda iniuria adolescentium est.” 310 Petron. Sat. 62: “ego si mentior, genios vestros iratos habeam.” 311 Hor. Epist. I.XIV.40: “cum servis urbana diaria rodere mavis.” 312 Ter. Eun. II.ii.309: “in ea re utilitatem ego faciam ut cognoscas meam.” 33 34 <?page no="282"?> Book Five 283 want to. What’s this? Did you hear me? Or are you not even listening? ’ When I heard these words, I reckoned that I shouldn’t wait around for him to fetch a stick and crush me with blows.” “What? Is this what got you upset? ” I said. “Are you so in need of friends that you can only turn to that dynast for aid? ” - “Nothing can be bought more cheaply around here than men willing to oblige you. All of the dynasts are inclined toward this practice to the point of fawning. But this goes very much against my case. The praetor will think that, because my ship has broken apart vis-à-vis my dynast, I have gotten my hands on a letter of recommendation from some stranger or other. For this reason, and with this suspicion, not only will the praetor not guide me towards a successful outcome of my wish, as if toward the shore, but he will even allow it to be tossed about and destroyed in a sudden storm.” Then I said, “What can you do? You must bear the affronts of these noblemen in silence, and you must soothe your pain with the gifts your dynast lavishes on you daily.” - “Are you mocking me? ” Gallonius said, “May God punish me if, in these five years that I’ve been gnawing at my dynast’s daily rations, I have been made even one gold coin richer from his gifts. But if you had heard him when he first contracted my services, you would have immediately sworn that he would share all his future wealth and riches with me, such were the promises he held out in spades. I especially remember that he promised me this: ‘Gallonius, just think of something whereby my favor or aid can benefit you, and in it I’ll have you see my favor and devotion toward you.’ You now see, however, what those promises have amounted to.” Seized by a poetic frenzy, I broke out into spontaneous poem: “Why are you beating your master with an angry tongue-lashing because he neglected to give you the support he promised? It is not right to resent someone for ridiculing you this way, when so many things are deceitful and fool you with their tricks. Your farm has a bad year; the sky, so frequently serene, has tricked you; and the port itself has betrayed your trust. You fool—either be strong enough to hate all of these things, or if you don’t wish to, why are you refusing to pardon him alone? ” 33 34 <?page no="283"?> 284 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed haec hactenus. “Nolo,” ait Gallonius, “inhumanitas cuiusquam mihi hilaritatem meam et cenae curam eripiat. Obsonatum eamus; et quo intellegatis nullam cuiusquam iniuriam posse meum mihi morem excutere, volo vos hoc vespere unctius quam antea nitidiusque accipere.” Itaque progressi in forum, polimenta 313 agnina, pullos, pisces ac scitamenta plura coemimus, redimus, cenamus ac cenati cubitum imus. At Gallonio ira ex ingrato heri sui animo excitata somnum avertebat; atque has identidem ab eo voces eliciebat, “Quam multa in servitute iniqua expetunt! 314 Opulento homine, eodemque iniquo, nihil est deterius, 315 ingrato nihil impensius. 316 Populo nihil perniciosius quam princeps munificus malis, avarus probis. Virtus ibi corruit, ubi, si quid recte cuipiam facias, perit. Semper virtutis praemia apud improbos erunt, si iis, quibus ea sunt in manu, nulla sit fides. Qui servit ingrato, piscatur in aere ac rete iaculo apros in mari venatur. 317 Sereni hieme caeli et aestate nubilis instar est dives qui large pauperi blandus est verbis. Neutri enim fides habenda. Nam mutantur extemplo. Nequit ibi durare vir probus, ubi malevolentes sunt quique bonis invideant. Potentiorum animis nihil est obscurius. Advertunt graviter quae non censeas. 318 Iram ferunt, cum pacem credas; malevolentiam, cum amorem existimes.” At Paulus Aemilius, dormiendi quam philosophandi cupidior, “Quid tu,” inquit, “cum istis tuis sapientibus dictis? Aut tace, aut dormi. Nihil est opus lamentationibus, ubi ad lapides loqueris. Iniqua est concertatio quae cum valentiore suscipitur. Indigna digna sunt habenda quae faciunt heri. 319 Irritat crabrones, 320 qui opulento faciem obvertit. Stultitia est ei te esse iratum, cuius potestas plus potest. 321 Non decet superbum esse eum, qui eget alterius.” - “Immo,” excepit 313 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 13) notes that polimenta is a lectio dubia in Plaut. Men. I.iii.211 and cites an alternate reading of lines 209-11: “Atque aliquid scitamentorum de foro opsonarier … aut sincipitamenta [var.: polimenta] porcina.” It seems to have been an accepted reading in earlier editions (e.g., Plautus and Weise 1874). 314 Plaut. Amph. I.i.174: “ergo in servitute expetunt multa iniqua.” 315 Plaut. Amph. I.i.166: “opulento homini hoc servitus dura est.” 316 Plaut. Bacch. III.ii.294: “nam pol meo quidem animo ingrato homine nihil impensiust.” 317 Plaut. As. I.i.99-100: “iubeas una opera me piscari in aere, / reti autem iaculo venari in medio mari.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 14. 318 Ter. Haut. III.iii.570-1: “novi ego amantium animum: advortunt graviter quae non censeas.” 319 Plaut. Capt. II.i.200: “indigna digna habenda sunt, erus quae facit.” 320 Plaut. Amph. II.ii.707: “irritabis crabrones.” 321 Plaut. Cas. II.iv.282: “stultitia est ei te esse tristem quoius potestas plus potest.” 35 36 37 <?page no="284"?> Book Five 285 But enough of this. Gallonius said, “I don’t want anyone’s unkindness to distract me from my happiness and my dinner. Let’s go shopping. And so that you will understand that nobody’s affront can shake my mood, I want to receive you this evening in a more sumptuous and splendid manner than before.” We made our way to the forum, bought lamb fries, 107 chickens, different kinds of fish, and many other delicacies, went back to the house, dined, and went to bed right after dinner. But the anger that had been stirred by his master’s ungrateful heart prevented Gallonius from sleeping, and it repeatedly elicited from him these utterances: “How many unfair things happen to servants! Nothing is worse than a man who is both rich and unjust. Nothing is more worthless than an ungrateful man. Nothing is more destructive to a people than a ruler who is generous toward bad men and stingy toward good ones. Virtue falls to ruin in places where it perishes if you treat people properly. The wicked will always reap the rewards of virtue if one cannot trust those who hold such rewards in their hands. He who serves an ungrateful man is fishing in the air and hunting boar with a net in the middle of the ocean. A rich man with exceedingly kind words toward the poor is like a clear sky in winter and a cloud in summer: neither is to be trusted because it can change suddenly. An upstanding man cannot last where there are bad people who envy good men. Nothing is more impenetrable than the minds of powerful men; they greatly resent things that you would not imagine. They show anger when you expect amity, and malevolence when you expect love.” Paulus Aemilius, desiring sleep more than debate, said, “What’s with you and your wise sayings? Either be quiet or go to sleep. It’s pointless to complain when you are talking to a brick wall. It’s always an unfair fight when you go up against someone more powerful. Any wrong must be considered right if a master commits it. He who faces off against a rich man risks stirring up a hornet’s nest. It’s foolish to be angry with someone who is more powerful than you. It’s unseemly for someone, who is dependent on others, to be arrogant.” - “On the contrary,” responded Gallonius. “You must be confident if you have done someone a service. It’s wretched to realize that your kindnesses are not appreciated by another. He who accepts favors, but does not return them, is immoral. He is faithless who is rich in talk, poor in action, and treats promises lightly. It’s better to let a malefactor go unpunished than to abandon a benefactor.” - “Rebuking favors does not change an ingrate,” offered Aemilius, “it just makes him worse; it does not placate him, it aggravates him; it doesn’t calm him, it exasperates him. Put your mind at ease, if you are wise. A composed mind can never be brought low from its proper state. It is the height of virtue to bear misfortune bravely, 107 A culinary term for lamb testicles. 35 36 37 <?page no="285"?> 286 Eudemia in Ten Books Gallonius, “sis confidens oportet, si de te meruit bene. Miseria est intellegere esse ingrata alteri, quae benefeceris. Improbus est homo qui beneficium scit sumere, non autem reddere. Perfidus qui dives est lingua, inops opere, sublestus fide. 322 Malefactorem est amitti satius quam beneficum deseri.” 323 - “Exprobratio beneficiorum,” subiecit Aemilius, “non mutat ingratum, sed deteriorem facit; non mitigat, sed incendit; non sanat, sed exulcerat. Animum compone, si sapis. Animus aequus de recto nunquam statu deicitur. Summa virtus est, si usus veniat, ferre fortiter malum. 324 Virtus praemium est optimum. Virtus anteit rebus omnibus. Virtus omnia in se habet. 325 Omnia adsunt bona quem penes est virtus.” - “Iam,” inquit Gallonius, “philosophatum est satis. Agam ut potero, quoniam non licet ut queo. Diisne adverser? Titanum insaniae subscribam? Nam potentioribus obsistere est gigantum more bellare cum diis. Sed priusquam somnus obrepat, licetne alterum hominis istius factum exponere, in quo sunt omnia, ut mihi videtur, peccata: superbiae, crudelitatis, avaritiae? ” - “Modo breviter,” ait Aemilius, “nam quod noctis tempus sit, vides.” - “Non accusabis,” inquit Gallonius. “Brevior ero quam est pomilio. “Est inter honorarios istius familiares Nicius quidam Rufus, honesto loco natus ac litteris deditus, praeterea ita Fortunae bonis instructus, ut nihil cuiusquam indigeat; qui ante annos quindecim magnis pollicitationibus attractus est ab isto in suam familiam, ut ipsi esset a studiis. Nam pudere eum coeperat omnia fere in ipso pecudis similiora quam hominis. Itaque cupiebat eruditi cuiuspiam opera a brutorum similitudine, quantum poterat, abstrahi. At Rufus, cui nulla in re cum aulicis convenit, noluit esse una in unis aedibus, sed alias conduxit, a tergo illis annexas ac, dynasta sciente, perfodit parietem, qua esset commeatus per culinam ad ipsum. Nam cum eius domus, quae instar urbis habet, longe introrsus pertineat ac fere ab omni parte innumeris privatis aedificiis contineatur, non nisi longo viarum ambitu ad eius aditum perveniri potuisset. Quod Rufo perincommodum cecidisset, hieme praesertim, quo tempore singulis fere noctibus multas apud dominum horas transmittit. Sed ferme in mensibus paucis, quibus haec acta sunt, lodicula trita, lacera, quae in istius barbari hominis supellectili numerabatur, coco surripitur. Quod ubi rescivit, existimans ab eo commeatu illud furtum egressum, ira percitus, perfossum parietem iubet sine mora restitui. Itaque honesto homini, ac nitidiuscule a puero domi suae habito, quinquennium fere totum fuit necesse quotidie intempesta nocte, ac saepe 322 Plaut. Bacch. III.vi.542: “lingua factiosi, inertes opera, sublesta fide.” 323 Plaut. Bacch. III.ii.395: malefactorem amitti satius quam relinqui beneficum.” 324 Plaut. As. II.ii.323-4: “em istaec virtus est, quando usust qui malum fert fortiter.” 325 Plaut. Amph. II.ii.648-53: “virtus praemium est optumum / virtus omnibus rebus anteit profecto / libertas, salus, vita, res et parentes, / patria et prognati / tutantur, servantur: / virtus omnia in sese habet, omnia assunt / bona quem penest virtus.” 38 <?page no="286"?> Book Five 287 when necessary. Virtue is the greatest prize. Virtue surpasses everything. Virtue contains all that is good within itself. All good things belong to the man who possesses virtue.” Gallonius replied, “We have already done enough philosophizing. I will do what I can, since I cannot have what I want. Should I oppose the gods? Should I adopt the insanity of the Titans? After all, standing up to more powerful people means doing battle with the gods like the giants did. 108 But before sleep comes upon us, may I tell you about another thing this man did, which, in my opinion, highlights all of the sins: pride, cruelty, and greed? ” - “As long as you keep it short,” said Aemilius. “You can see what time it is.” - “You won’t be sorry,” said Gallonius. “My story will be shorter than a dwarf. “Among the honorary members of my dynast’s household is a certain Nicius Rufus, 109 who was born to a reputable position and was devoted to the study of letters. Moreover, he was so well equipped with the benefits of Fortune that he didn’t need anything from anyone. Fifteen years ago, he was enticed by my dynast into his household, with great promises, to assist him with his studies. My dynast had begun to feel ashamed that everything about himself was more brutish than human, and he therefore wished to distance himself as much as possible, through the services of a scholar, from the company of beasts. Since the courtly life didn’t agree with him, Rufus didn’t want to stay with the dynast under the same roof. Instead, he rented another house, which was attached to the back of the dynast’s house. With the dynast’s knowledge, he cut a hole through the wall so there would be a passage to his house through the dynast’s kitchen. Because the dynast’s house, which was as big as a city, extended a long way inside and comprised countless private apartments, he was not able to reach his front door without going a long way around. This was very inconvenient for Rufus, especially in the winter when he spent many hours, almost every night, at his master’s house. But within a few months after Rufus had done this, some worn-out and torn little blankets that were among that uncouth dynast’s household objects were stolen from the cook. When this theft came to light, the dynast reckoned that the thief had escaped via that passageway and, moved 108 Reference to the gigantomachia when the race of giants (gigantes) fought against the gods of Olympus. 109 This is likely a fictionalized account of Rossi’s time in the service of Cardinal Peretti di Montalto from 1610 to 1623. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. V n. 14. 38 <?page no="287"?> 288 Eudemia in Ten Books tempestate perfrigida, imbribus maximis, sub Iove puro, longis viarum anfractibus se domum recipere. Qui nulla conditione tantam in se contumeliam atque contemptum suscepisset, nisi in tam maledica civitate 326 inconstantis hominis famam pertimuisset. Sed censeo quiescamus.” Liber VI Postquam aurora illuxit, lecto surreximus; et cum abeundi tempus instaret, profectionem adornare instituimus. Itaque lineas vestes ac laneas emimus. Ad haec, ne eodem ac remiges vino uti ac nautico pane 327 semper vesci nobis esset necesse, vina optima, siligineos panes, pernam, laridum, sumen, farcimina atque alia id genus edulia congessimus. Relinquebatur zona paene inanis a pecunia. Re adeo iter habentibus necessaria, haec quoque data est opera a nobis ut impleretur. Quocirca smaragdos, chrysolithos, adamantes, margaritas et alias eiusmodi gemmas, quas Roma detuleramus, habere venales coepimus. Quibus inspectis, Gallonius, “Meae,” inquit, “erunt partes efficere ut quanti plurimi isthaec vendatis. Nam eorum precia, quae Romae fortasse ob eorum numerum iacent, hic ad summum hominum luxuria cupiditasque perduxit. Etenim tota haec insula, ut vino, olio, tritico, auro et argento abundet, ab his tamen deliciis sane nuda est et vacua. Et raro huc mercatores commeant cum eiusmodi mercibus. Sed opus est conciliatore aliquo, qui emptorem adducat. At ego dabo vobis intercessorem, quo omnes ad eiusmodi venditiones utuntur. Sed properato opus est, ut eum domi opprimamus.” Nos dicto audientes addimus gradum. Sed properantes Aridi academici servus offendit, ac “Salvere te,” inquit, “iubeo, Galloni. Quo te agis? Quid sibi vult ista tua tam praepropera festinatio? ” - “Ad aedes,” inquit, “Zanchae, vicini tui (id enim proxenetae illi erat nomen) me confero; ita nunc subito obiectum est mihi negotium, 328 ut eo convento opus sit.” - “At volo te,” ait, “itineris huius laborem lucri facere. Non est domi. At si tantopere conventum eum expetis, quid meream, si ostendero ubi parvulo labore, nullo errore reperias? ” - “Cedo,” 326 Cic. Cael. XVI.38: “Quotus quisque istam effugere potest in tam maledica civitate? ” 327 A reference to hardtack, or ship’s biscuit, is found in Plin. HN. XXII.LXVIII.139: “vetus aut nauticus panis tusus atque iterum coctus.” 328 Plaut. Curc. II.iii.283: “ita nunc subito, propere et celere obiectumst mihi negotium.” 1 2 <?page no="288"?> Book Six 289 by anger, he ordered the dug-out wall to be closed up immediately. Thus that honorable Rufus (who had been living just fine in his own house since he was a young boy) was forced, for fifteen whole years, to make his way home every single day, outside, in the dead of night, and sometimes in freezing weather and significant rainstorms, via a long, circuitous route. Under no circumstances would Rufus have brought such indignity and contempt upon himself, had he not feared gaining a reputation as an unreliable person in a city so prone to slander. But I think we should go to sleep.” Book Six We rose at daybreak and (since it was almost time to depart) began preparing for our journey. We bought clothes made of linen and wool. In addition to these, so as not to have to drink the same wine as the oarsmen or always have to eat hardtack, we packed the finest wines, bread, ham, bacon, sow’s udder, sausages, and other foods of this sort. Our purse was left almost emptied of cash. Because money is so important for those embarking on a voyage, we also had to turn our attention to replenishing it. For this reason we set about selling our emeralds, topaz, diamonds, pearls, and other gemstones of that sort, which we had brought with us from Rome. When Gallonius saw our jewels he said, “I will take it upon myself to ensure you get as much as possible for them. Extravagance and greed have made the value of gemstones (which is perhaps stagnant in Rome because of their sheer number) skyrocket here. As a matter of fact, this entire island, while it is rich in wine, olive oil, wheat, gold, and silver, is almost devoid and empty of these luxuries; and merchants rarely travel here with these sorts of goods. But we need a broker who can find you a buyer. I will assign to you the same middleman whom everyone uses for these kinds of transactions. We need to hurry so we can catch him at home.” We listened to Gallonius and got a move on. A servant of the scholar Aridus ran into us as we were hurrying along and said, “Greetings to you, Gallonius! Where are you going? And why are you in such an all-fired hurry? ” Gallonius replied, “I am going to your neighbor Zancha’s house (that was the broker’s name). I was handed some business just now that requires me to meet with him.” The servant said, “I’d hate for you to waste a trip. He isn’t home. But if you really want a meeting with him, what would be in it for me if I showed you where you could find him, with little effort and without error? ” - “Tell us where he is,” replied Gallonius. “We are very busy, so please don’t hold us up.” - “I recently left him at Natalicius the goldsmith’s workshop at the Middle Janus. But you would do well to walk slowly and not hurt yourselves on this account. I heard 1 2 <?page no="289"?> 290 Eudemia in Ten Books inquit Gallonius, “ubi sit; neque occupatis moram inicias.” - “Reliqui eum nuper,” ait, “in officina Natalicii aurificis, ad medium Ianum. Sed rectius feceris, si placide ambulaveris neque te ob hanc causam ruperis. 329 Nam illum audivi cum diceret se multas horas ibi futurum, Pamphilo operam daturum, qui uxorem duxit.” - “Quid ais? ” inquit Gallonius. “Pamphilus uxorem duxit? ” - “Certe,” ait ille. “Et, quod magis mireris, fabri lignarii filiam in matrimonio sibi coniunxit. Sed rem omnem ex ipso comperies. Nam palam omnibus narrat.” - “Habeo tibi,” inquit Gallonius, “magnas gratias. Sed quo iter est tibi cum his tabellis quas gestas? ” - “Defero eas,” ait, “ad Thersippum dynastam, quem herus meus invitat in villam quam habet in agro qui Cinnus vocatur. At licet eas tibi legere, si velis. Sunt enim versibus scriptae; neque praeterea arcanum aliquod continent.” - “Libenter,” inquit Gallonius, acceptasque mihi tradidit. Quas attente dum perlego, Aemilius in pugillaribus quae habebat ad manum, exscripsit. Thersippe, et studiis et meritis potens, incessanti adhibe vim sapientiae ac te respiciens, qua strepitantibus humet Cinnus aquis, impiger advola. Quid curis animum solvere parcimus? 5 Ut gestit volucris, functa laboribus, silvarum in viridi ludere vertice, sic constricta diu mens volitare amat, non implexa operum nexibus arduis. Illic non lapide alta extruitur domus, 10 non auro paries, non laquear nitet. Sed parva atque habilis temporibus casa 330 subsidit, viguit cum probitas magis. Te virtus facilem reddidit; et potes aequus delicias ferre potentium 15 despectamque inopum pauperiem pati. 329 Hor. Sat. II.III.318-20: “cum magis atque / se magis inflaret, ‘non, si te ruperis,’ inquit, ‘par eris.’”; Ter. Hec. III.iv.435: “ut me ambulando rumperet.” 330 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VI n. 1) refers to Hor. Carm. II.18.1-2: “Non ebur neque aureum / mea renidet in domo lacunar.” 3 <?page no="290"?> Book Six 291 him say he’d be there for many hours, and that he’d be helping out Pamphilus, who has gotten married.” - “What is that you say? ” said Gallonius. “Pamphilus got married? ” - “Of course,” he replied. “And what’s even more surprising, he married a carpenter’s daughter. But you will learn the whole story from him, since he talks about it with everyone.” - “I thank you very much,” said Gallonius. “But where are you headed with those letters you’re carrying? ” - “I’m bringing them to Dynast Thersippus, whom my master has invited to his villa at his country estate, which is called Cinnus. 110 You may read them if you like. They are filled with verses and they don’t contain anything secret.” - “I would love to,” replied Gallonius, and he handed over to me the letters he’d been given. While I read through the verses carefully, Aemilius wrote them down in the notebook he had at hand: Thersippus, capable both in your studies and your abilities, add power to your unceasing wisdom and take care of yourself by hurrying quickly to that place where Cinnus lies wet with raging waters. Why should we refrain from freeing our mind from worry? Just as birds are eager to play in the treetops of the forest after they have finished laboring, the mind, after being constrained for a long period, also loves flitting about not entwined in the arduous obligations of work. My tall house in the country is not built out of stone, nor the walls out of gold; but it is a small house suitable for those seasons when goodness flourishes most. Virtue has made you pliant; you are able to bear the luxuries of the powerful with equanimity and suffer the contemptible poverty of the destitute. 110 The British Library manuscript key (12410.aa.16) identifies Cinnus as “la vigna del Bracciolino,” possibly a reference to a vineyard, or country estate, of the poet Francesco Bracciolini (1566-1645) to whom Rossi devotes a portrait in his Pinacotheca tertia. 3 <?page no="291"?> 292 Eudemia in Ten Books Has ego litteras, semel iterumque perlectas, reddidi servo qui tradiderat. Qui valere iussus, persecutus est iter quod susceperat. Nos pedetentim ac placide, ex illius consilio, petere Ianum coepimus. Sed in eundo libuit mihi percontari ex Gallonio quid hominis hic Thersippus esset. Num litteratus, cui docti homines scriberent? Num ruris amator, qui villarum amoenitates persequeretur? “Atqui,” inquit Gallonius, “hic est vir suo iudicio valde sapiens, sed aliorum existimatione non stultus. Praestat ingenio, notitia antiquitatis, iuris civilis scientia. Verum haec ille maiora multo existimat esse quam quanta in ipso existant. Nam facie, vultu, admirando irridendoque persuadere conatur in eius labris eloquentiae deam haerere atque in ipsius pectore iurisprudentiam tanquam in arce regnare. Attamen litteratis iuris, qui honoris eum causa sectantur, praebet se benevolum et amantem; sed eius haec in illos voluntas tantum intra verba concluditur ac raro, vel nunquam, ad facta digreditur; et vix unus aut alter invenitur qui eius auctoritate vel gratia ad divitias honoresque pervenerit. Sed eccum, ipsus adest, atque ille est quem gestatoria inclusum sella deferri videtis.” Erat aestas summa, calores maximi; et tamen sella ferebatur ita ab omni parte clausa, ut nihil esset ad omnes cuiusvis aurae vel levis incursus magis munitum ac tectum; solum ad accipiendam lucem binae hinc et illinc et in fronte fenestellae, crystallis tamen obductae, patebant; ipse vero multis sibi caput velis devinxerat ac pallio corpus diligenter involverat. Nos exquisitam hominis diligentiam in frigore propulsando mirati, ac prope medium Ianum emensi, eo loci devenimus, ubi proxeneta ille dictus est esse; atque eum invenimus, medium inter duos sedentem, cachinnos effusissimos edere. Prior occupat Gallonius ac salvere eum iubet; gemmas explicat atque emptorem ut inveniat rogat. Ille in manus sumit, inspicit, laudat, et, “Commodiorem,” ait, “hominem et adventum non vidi. Nam hodie instruendus est mihi Pamphilo mundus muliebris, quem mittat uxori quam duxit.” - “Audivi,” inquit Gallonius, “ac miratus sum adolescentem, adeo locupletem ac nobilem, ad eam humilitatem descendisse, ut fabri lignarii filiam pro uxore velit habere. Tantane hodie conditionum penuria laboratur? ” - “Ita,” inquit Zancha, “sese res habet. Fieri aliter non potuit; vis eum coegit.” - “At quae vis,” ait Gallonius, “cogit ut quam nolis, accipias? ” - “Res est ridicula,” inquit ille, “ac modo istis narrare occeperam.” - “Repete, nisi molestum est,” ait Gallonius. “Nam gestio audire.” - “Date igitur operam,” inquit. 4 5 6 <?page no="292"?> Book Six 293 After I had read the verses a couple of times, I gave them back to the servant who had shown them to us. He bade us farewell and set off on the journey he had begun. On his advice, we slowly and calmly began making our way toward Janus Gate. As we were walking, I gladly asked Gallonius what kind of person this Thersippus was. Was he a man of letters who corresponded with learned men? Was he a lover of the countryside who sought the delights of his country estate? “By all means,” said Gallonius, “he is quite a wise man in his own estimation, and in the judgment of others he is not stupid. He excels in intelligence, in his knowledge of antiquity, and in his expertise in civil law. However, his estimation of his skills is much greater than the level of skill he actually possesses. With his face and his expression, by admiring and ridiculing, he tries to convince people that the goddess of eloquence clings to his lips and that jurisprudence reigns in his mind as if in a citadel. Nevertheless, he behaves in a friendly and kind way toward those learned in the law, who follow him out of respect. But his goodwill toward them is limited exclusively to words, which he rarely, if ever, transforms into action. You can hardly find even one or two people who have achieved riches or offices because of his influence. But look, here he is. He is the one you see being carried inside that sedan chair.” It was the height of summer and extremely hot; nonetheless, Thersippus was being ferried about in a sedan chair that was sealed on all sides, such that there was nothing more fortified or protected against any incursion, even of the gentlest breeze. 111 Though covered in glass, the little windows on either side of the carriage and at the front were opened for the sole purpose of letting in light. He himself, however, had covered his head with many scarves and thoroughly wrapped his body in a cloak. We wondered at the man’s studied determination in warding off the cold. After passing through Middle Janus, we arrived at the place where we were told the broker would be, and we found him sitting between two men while laughing uncontrollably. Gallonius got there first and greeted him. He showed the broker the gemstones and asked him to find a buyer. The broker picked them up, examined them, praised them, and said, “I have never seen anyone arrive at a more opportune time. Today I have to fit out a ladies’ wardrobe for Pamphilus 111 In a 1638 letter (Ep. ad div. 1.VI.V), written in defense of his satire, Rossi cites this episode as an example of something that he was being accused of criticizing but that, in fact, was perfectly normal behavior (though it was not, of course): “quisnam unquam notandum eum esse infamia existimavit, qui caloribus summis, vitandi frigoris causa, gestatoria sella inclusum se per Urbem deferri iussisset? ” (“Who would ever think that someone should be given a bad name for insisting on being carried about the city enclosed in a sedan chair in order to avoid the cold at the height of summer? ”). He describes this same habit as part of his biography of Scipione Cobelluzzi, the person behind the pseudonym Thersippus, in his Pinacotheca. 4 5 6 <?page no="293"?> 294 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed conantem dicere iuvenis antevertit, qui, ex improviso erumpens, his Natalicium dictis aggreditur, “Quid, obsecro, mulieris mihi in matrimonium dedisti? Qua muliere nulla alia est flagitiosior ac nequior. Modo paene eam cum adolescente nescio quo caput limantem oppressi. At si mihi post hunc diem aliquid tale suboleat, faxo foris vidua te patrem suum invisat.” 331 Qua re Natalicius non mediocriter perturbatus, inquit, “Adeone mirum tibi videtur, si intemperanter mulier adolescens facit? Paucas quippe invenias, quas adolescentiae aestus in has delicias ac blandimenta non abstrahat. Non possunt haec ab adolescentia seiungi; quae etiam simul cum ea deflorescunt ac desinunt; interea sine ut det aliquid temporis ad ludum aetatis. 332 Sed, quantum audio, matrissat. Nam quae mater eius, uxor mea, lusit ad hunc modum, potuerunt populo viritim dispertiri. 333 Nunc autem, aetate confecta, ita est aliena ab his nugis, ut nulla sit aeque castior ac melior materfamilias.” Adolescens, nihilo hac responsione placatior factus, nescio quid mussans, pedem retulit. Quo abeunte, sic orsus est Zancha: “Est in hac urbe Baldoccius quidam, ad Forum Apollinis faber lignarius, fide ac simplicitate magis ad veterem illorum hominum famam quam ad eum morem, qui nunc increbuit, referendus. Neque quod in eo reprehendas, quidquam invenias, praeter studium vini; quo adeo tenetur, ut horam abire nullam sinat in qua (ut ipse loquitur) non heminam saltem vini intestinis aspergat. Ceterum nihil in eo simulatum, nihil fictum; contra nuda et aperta sunt omnia. Unde fit ut opportunus iniuriae habeatur. Siquidem, cum omnibus sua consilia credere, fidem habere, depositum nullo teste reddere solitus sit, a veteratore aliquo circumven- 331 Plaut. Men. I.ii.112-3: “praeterhac si mihi tale post hunc diem / faxis, faxo foris vidua visas patrem.” 332 Cf. Cic. Cael. XII.28: “Datur enim concessu omnium huic aliqui ludus aetati, et ipsa natura profundit adulescentiae cupiditates.” 333 Plaut. Pseud. I.v.440-1: “nam tu quod damni et quod fecisti flagiti / populo viritim potuit dispertirier.” 7 8 <?page no="294"?> Book Six 295 to send to the woman he married.” Gallonius replied, “I heard about that and I wondered how such a rich and noble young man had stooped to such humility as to be willing to marry a carpenter’s daughter. Is there such a shortage of marriage prospects these days? ” - “Yes, that is correct,” said Zancha. “It could not have turned out any other way. He was forced to do it.” Gallonius asked, “What force compels you to accept what you don’t want? ” Zancha replied, “The story is absurd, and I had just begun telling it to these men.” - “Start from the beginning, if you don’t mind,” said Gallonius. “I am dying to hear it.” - “Then listen up,” he said. A young man suddenly burst in, cutting Zancha off as he was attempting to speak, and came at Natalicius with these words: “Please, what kind of a woman did you give me to marry? There is no woman more shameful and depraved than she. I just caught her kissing some young man! If I ever get wind of anything like that again, I’ll divorce her, throw her out, and send her back to you, her father! ” Natalicius was greatly disturbed by this and said, “Does it strike you as so surprising for a young woman to be out of control? In fact, you would not find many young women who have not been drawn to such delights and pleasures by the heat of adolescence. These things are part and parcel of the experience of youth; but this heat subsides and comes to an end at the same time adolescence itself does. In the meantime, let her devote some time to youth’s flirtations. But, from what I hear, she is imitating her mother. Her mother (my wife) used to flirt like this, and her advances could have been distributed among every man in the whole population. However, now that she is older, she is so far removed from these trifles that there exists no more virtuous or better lady of the house.” The young man, not at all placated by this response, muttered something and left. As he was leaving, Zancha began to speak. “In this city, next to the Forum of Apollo, lives a certain carpenter named Baldoccius, who, in his piety and simplicity, subscribes to those old traditions of ancient men rather than to the customs that are currently in vogue. And you won’t find or uncover any fault in him, other than a fondness for wine, which has such a hold on him that he won’t let an hour of the day go by in which, as he himself says, he is not pouring at least a hemina of wine into his belly. Besides, there is nothing insincere or false about him. On the contrary, everything is exposed and out in the open, which is why he is considered an easy target for wrongdoing. Indeed, he is prone to confiding in everyone, trusting them, returning a deposit without a witness, and he is often deceived and cheated by con men. This man took as his wife Antina, a woman from his hometown, who is joined to him by a similarity of character as much as by their association in life. She was no sharper than her husband and no more prepared to look out for herself. She hired out her services for reconciling kinfolk, estimating the worth 7 8 <?page no="295"?> 296 Eudemia in Ten Books tus, saepe decipitur. Hic habet in matrimonio Antinam popularem suam, non magis vitae societate quam morum similitudine sibi coniunctam. Nihilo enim est suo viro acutior, nihilo ad cavendum instructior. Quae affinitatibus conciliandis, mundis muliebribus aestimandis, novis nuptis ornandis sectandisque locat operas suas. Quo fit ut fere eam semper domo abesse contingat. “Haec unicam ex Baldoccio suo filiam habet, Tensa nomine, omnibus quidem Gratiis venustiorem, sed improbitate atque nequitia veteratori cuivis facile parem. Nam supra quam credi possit, est cata, confidens, audax, fallax, loquax; habet os, linguam, perfidiam, malitiam 334 ; simulare ac dissimulare omnia parata; infitias ire ac iureiurando suo vincere, ut nec vidissent homines quae viderant, neque fecissent ea quae fecerant. Hanc, ita ut deformavi, plenae maturitatis virginem, parens uterque, foras abiens, id quod minime opus erat, superioribus mensibus solam domi relinquebat; satis a praedatoribus corporis 335 fore tutam pater existimans, si tabernulae suae ostio, digiti unius crassitudine, perticam transversam obiecisset. Sed tanta haec tamque munita praesidia contra hostium insidias haud satis tuta fuisse, res ipsa ostendit. Nam Pamphilo, adolescenti (ut nosti) longe lepidissimo, pervia fuere. Ergo proximis Saturnalibus, cum Baldoccius solito maturius domo migrasset, ut amici cuiusdam sui vina degustaret, nudatum propugnatoribus vallum 336 hostis ingreditur commissoque proelio praeda potitur. Quid multa? Dum Baldoccius amplis et profundis cantharis potitans hilarem sumit diem, amatores ad ebrietatem usque sese voluptatibus explent. Neque eo tantum die suo obsecuti sunt animo, sed deinceps diebus omnibus, qua hora Baldoccius, communito ita ut dixi ostio, in popina aliqua Libero operam dabat, ut non alias tutior intra ea castra aditus esset quam cum essent vallo munita. “Verum Kalendis Maii, Baldoccio et Antina domo egressis, dum liberius genio amatores indulgent, prope factum est ut manifesto in flagitio deprehenderentur. Nam cum advesperasceret neque aliqua ludendi satietas esset, ex improviso parentes Tensae domum adveniunt. Quamobrem magnus adolescentem metus invadit. Cui puella, nihil exterrita, ‘Ne pave,’ inquit. ‘Mox tibi fugae rationem expeditam dabo. Unum mihi dolet: quod voluntate mea celerius abstrahimur.’ A 334 Plaut. Mil. II.ii.189-189a: “os habet, linguam, perfidiam, malitiam atque audaciam, / confidentiam, confirmitatem, fraudulentiam.” 335 Petron. Sat. 85: “Iam ego coeperam ephebum in gymnasium deducere, ego studia eius ordinare, ego docere ac praecipere, ne quis praedator corporis admitteretur in domum.” 336 Cf. Tac. Ann. 13.39: “Tantus inde ardor certantis exercitus fuit, ut intra tertiam diei partem nudati propugnatoribus muri.” 9 10 <?page no="296"?> Book Six 297 of ladies’ wardrobes, and adorning and accompanying new brides. As a result, she happened to always be away from the house. “She gave birth to Baldoccius’s only daughter, named Tensa, who was more beautiful than all of the Graces, but was easily on par with any con man in her dishonesty and wickedness. She was unbelievably crafty, bold, daring, deceitful, and prating; she had a mouth on her, a tongue, duplicity, and wickedness. She was quick to lie, dissemble, and deny everything, and she would win people over by swearing that they had not seen what they saw and had not done what they did. In the last few months, both of her parents would go out (which was not a good idea) and leave her, a maiden in full flower as I just described, at home alone. Her father thought that she would be safe enough from anyone wanting to prey on her body if he threw a bar, the diameter of one finger, across the entrance to their cottage. But the facts themselves showed that such a great and so secure a fortress was hardly safe enough against the ambush of an enemy, because Pamphilus, that very handsome young man (as you know) was able to penetrate it. During this past Saturnalia, when Baldoccius had gone out earlier than usual to sample a friend’s wine, the enemy entered a fortification that was cleared of all defenders, and, after engaging in battle, took possession of his booty. What else is there to say? While Baldoccius spent a joyful day drinking from broad and deep wine bowls, the lovers satisfied themselves with pleasures to the point of intoxication. And they did not only yield to their inclinations that day but on every day after that, at whatever hour Baldoccius, after barricading the door, as I said, was devoting himself to Liber in some tavern or other, as if the access to that fortress was no less secure than if it had been protected by a rampart. “On the first day of May, however, while the lovers were freely indulging their appetites after Baldoccius and Antina had left the house, they were very nearly caught in the act. When evening was drawing near, and they had not yet satisfied their desire for sport, Tensa’s parents came home unexpectedly. Because of this a great fear took hold of the young man. The girl, not afraid of anything, said, ‘Don’t be scared. I will give you a ready plan for escape. I’m only sorry that we will be separated sooner than I’d like.’ Heading straight up from the ground floor, you arrived at a terrace that was connected to a bedroom on the right, and on the left it exited to the kitchen where at that moment a large sack of wheat was being stored. She sliced the sack open with a knife, opened the large window to let the wheat pour out, and raising a shout she cried, ‘Help! Mice have been gnawing on our sack of wheat and all the grain is pouring out! ’ 9 10 <?page no="297"?> 298 Eudemia in Ten Books planitie recta sursum ascendendo in solariolum pervenitur, quod ad dexteram cubiculum habet adiunctum, ad sinistram in culinam exit, ubi tunc temporis tritici ingens saccus continebatur. Quo illa cultello dissuto, amplam tritico ad egrediendum fenestram aperuit, et clamore sublato, ‘Subvenite,’ inquit. ‘Saccus a muribus corrosus frumentum omne diffundit.’ Ac dum parentes accurrunt festinant ac fugiens triticum quasillis excipiunt, adolescens vasa collegit et castra commovit. At Tensa minus eam voluptatem faciens, quae cum periculo metuque coniungeretur, cogitare secum ipsamet coepit quanam ratione eam puram sine timoris cuiusquam faece perciperet. “Et in regionem suarum astutiarum ingressa, 337 contra parentum simplicitatem dolos instruxit atque, ut est in excogitando inveniendoque acuta, paucis diebus post cum ad se Pamphilus venisset suamque ex eo voluptatem explesset, reversis sub vesperam parentibus moestam se atque exanimatam ostendit. Interrogata quid esset, non audebat dicere, sed pro verbis lacrimarum vim dabat. Verum aliquando, coacta, dixit esse quosdam lemures, qui humana forma atque figura domos virginum celebrarent atque eas misere deperirent. Unum ergo istorum lemurum a se visum, forma adeo liberali, adeo venusta, ut nihil supra. Cui mater, ‘Quid audio? ’ inquit. ‘Vide ne id timor oculis persuaserit.’ Sed Tensa, ‘Erras, mater, nunquam hilariore animo fui quam cum eum aspexi.’ Tum Antina, ‘Bono,’ inquit, ‘animo es, atque istam aegritudinem, quae te macerat, amove. Mihi enim spes est posthac nunquam tuis istam oculis larvam occursuram.’ - ‘Ah nescis, mater,’ inquit Tensa, ‘quam alte ea mihi haereat in animo.’ His dictis, ad ea quibus maxime indigebat, hoc est, ad cibum quietemque se contulit. Postridie revertitur Pamphilus novus daemon, sed ex eo genere quos ‘incubos’ vocant. Qui, ut se ad parentes mulieris conciliaret, inaures et torquem novo opere factum Tensae reliquit. Quae ipsa laetanti animo parentibus suis ostendit. Illi in manus sumere, contemplari, laudare et tanquam ex Vulcani officina profecta mirari. Iamque se adigi sentiebant, ut tam elegantem ac tam liberalem daemonem absentem diligerent. Sed dona perpetuando assecutus est Pamphilus ut nihil eisdem se carius existeret. “Antina (ut mos est mulierum) ardebat cupiditate incredibili eius lemuris conspiciendi, sed paululum timore perterrebatur. Verum tum frequentibus Pamphili donis, tum filiae oratione confirmata, quae de eius forma ac venustate mira narrabat, suis eum oculis videre constituit. Est (ut probe nosti) Pamphilus annos natus undeviginti, capillo subcrispo, nigris oculis, candidisque genis leviter 337 Plaut. Mil. II.ii.233: “in regionem astutiarum mearum te induco.” 11 12 <?page no="298"?> Book Six 299 While her parents were running over and rushing to collect, in little baskets, the wheat that was going to waste, the young man gathered his things and pulled up stakes. Tensa, not interested in any pleasure that was associated with danger and dread, began planning how she could engage in pleasure that was pure and untarnished by fear. “Reaching into her bag of tricks, she began planning a ruse against her parents’ naiveté. She was clever at devising and contriving, so when her parents returned home at dusk a few days later—after Pamphilus had visited her and had satisfactorily fulfilled her desire for him—Tensa appeared before them dejected and worn out. When they asked her what was wrong, she did not dare speak but, instead of words, she poured forth a large quantity of tears. When she finally felt compelled to speak, she told them that there were certain ghosts who frequented the homes of virgins, in human form and shape, falling hopelessly in love with them. She told her parents that she had seen one of these ghosts, and he was so beautiful and so lovely that nothing was more so. Her mother replied, ‘What is this I hear? Watch out that you have not let fear convince your eyes of this.’ Tensa replied, ‘You are wrong, Mother. I have never felt such joy as when I laid eyes on him.’ Antina said, ‘Cheer up and cast off this grief that is tormenting you. I hope you never see that ghost again.’ - ‘Ah, but you don’t understand, Mother, how firmly he clings to my heart.’ When she had finished speaking, she focused on getting food and rest, which she was very much in need of. The next day, Pamphilus returned as a new kind of spirit, the sort that people call incubi. 112 In order to win over the woman’s parents, he left a pair of earrings and a necklace for Tensa, of singular workmanship, which she showed to her parents with a joyful heart. They picked the items up, examined them, praised them, and admired them as if they had come from the workshop of Vulcan himself. They already felt compelled to like such a discriminating and generous, albeit absent, ghost. By continuing to give these gifts, Pamphilus succeeded in making himself dearer than anything to Tensa’s parents. “Antina, as women are wont to do, burned with an unbelievable desire to see the ghost, but she was a little scared. Because Pamphilus had brought so many gifts, however, and because of her daughter’s persuasive words when describing his looks and beauty, she decided to get a look at him with her own eyes. 112 An incubus is a demon in male form. Christian authors often stressed the incubus’s desire for intercourse with women (e.g., Aug. Civ. 15.23.108). 11 12 <?page no="299"?> 300 Eudemia in Ten Books rubore suffusis; ne tenue quidem barbae vestigium inhaeret; praeterea vestitu ornatuque corporis, prout eius opes ferunt, quae sunt satis amplae, semper excultus. Quamobrem simul ut Antinae pervenit ad oculos, ‘Hui, quam est elegans! ’ inquit. ‘Ubi sunt, qui totum istud genus lemurum forma esse horribili praedicant? Iam pol, si ad istam faciem sunt omnes, nihil moror quo minus quantum est ubique lemurum, meam in domum immigret, ne semper cadaverosam Baldoccii mei faciem necesse habeam aspicere.’ “Sed iam Baldoccius rem apud vicinos omnem divulgaverat, de amoribus lemurum, de ipsorum donis; mirosque de sua stultitia ludos sermonesque praebebat. Interrogatus an daemon hic cornibus praeditus esset, ‘Quid malum,’ inquit, ‘vobis venit in mentem cogitare istuc de eo, quo non facile quidquam dixerim me vidisse in vita venustius? ’ - ‘At hoc ridiculum est,’ inquit alter, ‘quod, cum ipse cornibus careat, te cornutissimum faciat.’ - ‘At te magnus perdat Iuppiter,’ inquit Baldoccius, ‘qui umbras aere ventoque conflatas humano more concumbere existimas.’ - ‘Quid si,’ excepit alter, ‘ventus hic masculus filiae tuae ventrem impleverit? Quid dicturus es? ’ Alii, quos Baldoccii stultitiae miserebat, pro amicitia et vicinitate eum, ut magnam infamiam fugeret, admonebant et sycophantam illum domo fuste quantum potest eiceret. Hos ille ex invidentia loqui dicebat. E re enim sua esse, ut non unus modo, sed mille etiam lemures domum suam incolerent. Tum, ‘Tu igitur,’ inquit unus, ‘ob leve nescio quod lucrum tantum in existimatione tua damnum accipias? At vide ne, ubi filiam dare nuptum voles, haec mala illi umbra plurimum obsit. Nescis quantum fama ad conciliandas nuptias valeat? ’ Cui Baldoccius, ‘Tace,’ inquit, ‘inepte; non tu nunc mores hominum vides? ’ Quoiusmodi hic cum fama facile nubitur? Dum dos sit, nullum vitium vitio vortitur. 338 338 Plaut. Pers. III.i.385-7: “Tace, stulta. Non tu nunc hominum mores vides? Quoivis modi hic cum [mala] fama facile nubitur / dum dos sit, nullum vitium vitio vortitur” (the quote from Plautus includes the line of prose just before the couplet). IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VI n. 3) adds the word mala in square brackets before fama in the first line of the couplet with the intention of restoring the verse to what appears in Plautus. While mala does appear as the accepted reading in recent editions of Plautus, older editions do not universally include the word. For example, M. Accii Plauti Latinae comoediae facile principis fabulae superstites XX (Lugduni Batavorum: Ex officina Plantiniana, apud Franciscum Raphelengium, 1589) does not have it, while M. Actii Plauti Comoediae viginti (Lugduni: 13 14 <?page no="300"?> Book Six 301 Pamphilus, as you clearly saw for yourself, is nineteen years old, has wavy hair, dark eyes, fair cheeks with a slight blush, and no trace of a beard. Moreover, he always looked refined with regards to the way he dressed and adorned himself, as far as his riches (which were fairly ample) would allow. For this reason, as soon as Antina caught sight of him she exclaimed, ‘Gosh, how elegant he is! Who says that ghosts are monstrous? By God, if all of them had a face like his, I wouldn’t hesitate letting all the ghosts that ever existed move into my house. That way, I wouldn’t have to always look at Baldoccius’s ghastly mug.’ “But Baldoccius had already told the neighbors the whole story about the ghost’s love and gifts, and his stupidity provided them marvelous entertainment and fodder for gossip. When asked whether the spirit had horns, he replied, ‘Why does it occur to you to think so badly about this ghost? I cannot easily say I have ever seen a more beautiful creature in my life than him.’ - ‘That’s absurd,’ responded another. ‘If he doesn’t have horns, it’s because he’s given them to you in spades.’ 113 Baldoccius replied, ‘May great Jupiter damn you for thinking that ghosts made of air and wind have sexual relations like humans do.’ The other man replied, ‘What if this virile wind has filled your daughter’s womb? What would you say? ’ Other neighbors, pitying Baldoccius’s stupidity, advised him, on account of their friendship and affinity, to avoid a great scandal and to drive that trickster as far as possible out of his house with a stick. He responded that they were saying these things out of jealousy, and that it was his own business if there was not just one ghost living in his house, but a thousand of them. One of the neighbors said, ‘Are you really inviting this level of damage to your reputation for such meager financial gain? Watch out that this evil ghost doesn’t hurt your daughter when it comes time to give her away in marriage. Don’t you know how valuable a girl’s reputation is when brokering a good match? ’ To which Baldoccius replied, ‘Be quiet, you fool. Don’t you see how people are nowadays? ’ How can a girl with this sort of reputation easily get married in this place? So long as she has a dowry, no one can find fault with her. 114 113 The play on words here involves the Latin word for horns (cornua) and the expression giving horns to someone (i.e., making someone a cuckold). 114 English translation adapted from Plautus and de Melo 2011-13. 13 14 <?page no="301"?> 302 Eudemia in Ten Books “Quid opus est verbis? Baldoccio persuasum erat posse antea asinos volaticos esse, quam ullum sibi filiaeque suae dedecus ab umbris, quae aere ventoque constarent, inferri. Sed opinionem suam fefellit eventus. Nam aer ille, in humorem crassum carnosumque conflatus, Tensae praeter modum ventrem inflavit. Ac primo persuasit parentibus, non in visceribus, sed in cute morbum haerere, atque aqua inter cutem laborare se dixit. Tum, cum partus instaret, matri veram morbi causam aperuit, sed eius culpam non ad daemonem illum familiarem suum, nec ad virum aliquem, sed ad somnium quoddam referebat. Menses enim abhinc septem se meminisse somniare ab adolescente quodam comprimi, atque ab eo die paulatim ventrem intumescendo ad eam altitudinem excrevisse. Antina, tametsi stulta est, ac mater, non continuo huic fabulae assensionem adhibuit, sed, ut quemque vel medicum vel amicum occurrerat, statim num virgo absque ullo concubitu praegnans fieri posset interrogabat. Cui alius aliud respondebat. Erat tamen nonnemo, qui diceret num, quod vigilans filia passa esset, somnio tribueretur. Cui illa, ‘Cave,’ inquit, ‘istuc de filia mea tibi veniat in mentem, qua ne columba quidem ulla est purior nec sanctior.’ Tum ille, ‘Quasi columbae,’ ait, ‘parere non soleant! ’ “Ne multa: tantisper Antina suspenso incertoque fuit animo, donec columbum columbam ineuntem intuetur. Nam cum ad rimulas ostii quid intus geritur aucupat, videt id quod iam pridem, nisi stulta esset, intellegere potuisset; ac tum demum, quo ex Orco Erinnys illa prodiisset, animadvertit. Itaque dolore amens clamores tollere, popularium fidem implorare, impurissimum sycophantam, familiae suae pestem, corruptorem filiae manu tenere se dicere. Hic vicini omnes accurrere, adolescentem obiurgare, qui tam impudenter honestos homines luderet et virgini ingenuae vitium afferret. Ad haec minas addere; carcerem et praetorem obicere, qui eius supplicio inustam optimis viris infamiae notam elueret. Scitis quam parvo momento adolescentis animus huc illuc impellitur. Sed Pamphilum non tam illorum minae quam Tensae amor consuetudoque movebat; cui amori, nisi prospectum interea esset, dissidium, distractio, vastitas imminebat. Qua re permotus, adolescens, locuples ac domi suae nobilis, eo descendit, ut fabri lignarii filiam sibi in matrimonium dari deposceret. Quam statim Baldoccius eidem spopondit. Sed videre videor iam diem illum quo adolescentem huius matrimonii poeniteat.” Apud Seb. Gryphium, 1554) does. I have left the text without mala because it is an accepted contemporary reading and it reflects Rossi’s text. 15 16 <?page no="302"?> Book Six 303 “What more can I say? Baldoccius was to be sooner persuaded that donkeys could fly than that any shame could befall himself and his daughter from ghosts consisting of air and wind. But events thwarted his beliefs, for that very air, forged into thick and fleshy humors, caused Tensa’s belly to swell beyond measure. At first, Tensa convinced her parents that she was suffering from a skin condition, namely fluid in her tissues, not from an illness of her insides. Later, when her due date was approaching, she confided in her mother the true cause of her sickness, but she did not blame it on her ghost companion, or any other man, but on some dream she had. She reported dreaming, seven months ago, that she had sex with some young man, and that from that day on, her belly started swelling, and, little by little, it grew to its current size. Antina, although she was stupid (and a mother), didn’t immediately believe this story, but whenever she encountered a doctor or a friend, she would immediately ask whether her daughter could have become pregnant without having sex. Different people gave her different answers. A few asked whether what the daughter experienced while awake could really be attributed to a dream. To which Antina responded, ‘Watch that you don’t think such a thing about my daughter. She is even more pure and inviolable than any dove.’ - ‘As if doves don’t procreate! ’ the man replied. “To make a long story short, Antina remained in a state of suspense and uncertainty, until she finally saw that cock entering her dove. When she was keeping watch through a crack in the door, in order to catch what was happening inside, she saw what she (had she not been so foolish) should have already comprehended, and she finally noticed what sort of underworld that Erinys 115 sprang from. Mad with grief, she began to shout; to appeal to the goodwill of her fellow citizens; and to tell them she had caught the filthy trickster, that blight upon her family and corruptor of their daughter. At this point all of the neighbors ran to help her, and they scolded the young man for shamelessly tricking honest people and for committing a crime against a tender maiden. In addition, they threatened that they would carry him off to jail and before a judge, who, by, imposing a punishment, would wash that indelible mark of shame off of those most upstanding people. You can understand how, in a brief moment, that young man’s mind was tossed this way and that. But his love for Tensa and their relationship moved Pamphilus more than did the threats of those men; and, unless he attended to this love, separation, discord, and destruction were imminent. For this reason the young man, who was rich and held the highest rank among his own people, was deeply moved and deigned to request this carpenter’s daughter’s hand in marriage. Baldoccius immediately 115 In Greek mythology the Erinyes, also known as the Furies, were the deities of vengeance. 15 16 <?page no="303"?> 304 Eudemia in Ten Books “At non erit illi difficile,” inquit Gallonius, “ab eo discedere, cum volet, atque alteram, genere, copiis et existimatione sibi parem, adiungere.” Quod ego admirans, “Audieram,” inquam, “matrimonia hic esse perpetua ac tantum morte dissolvi. Qua igitur via hoc nefas aggredietur? ” - “Ea,” inquit, “quae multorum iam trita itineribus patet, quamque Antiphila nuper inivit. Nempe, si testibus planum faciat eas nuptias non rite nec legibus, sed vi metuque coniunctas. Nam praetor vim factam restituit.” - “Quid audio? ” Natalicius 339 ait. “Antiphila vidua est viro superstite? ” - “Ea,” inquam, “Antiphila, quae Demophonti aromatario nupserat? ” - “Ea ipsa,” inquit Gallonius. “Etenim, cum saepius in adulterio deprehensa a viro verberaretur, quadriennio post quam in viri manum convenit, commenta est matrimonium illud metu fuisse coactum. Ideoque dissolvendum dirimendumque curasse. Quod statim perfectum est, scribae cuiusdam opera. Cuius sane ordinis ad haec atque alia nefaria perpetranda improbissimis hominibus plurimum prodest audacia.” Sed tanta nos voluptate affecerant docti Tensae doli, et ad decipiendum tam scite instructa in corde concilia, ut exclamarem, “Pluris est, O Zancha, tua isthaec lepida atque iucunda narratio quam gemmae quibus nobis opus est venditis.” - “Si ita,” inquit Zancha, “tibi videtur, cedo gemmas. Atque illud insuper redde, quo minoris sunt gemmae. Sed vos arbitror ludere, neque huc logos emptum tanto precio venisse. Sequimini igitur me.” Manuque prehensos duxit in forum, iussitque numerari nobis a trapezita tria talenta magna argenti. Nos laeti quod mercimonium nostrum tam lepide processisset ac referti pecunia domum regredimur. Sed redeuntes in turbam incidimus. Nam Dynasta Orius, qui erat etiam sacerdos Cereris, sacra eidem facturus in eius fanum solemni ritu prodibat. Praecedebat familia eiusdem tota et in ea alii honesti viri complures, qui eum honoris gratia sectabantur. Proximi veniebant ministri, quorum alius urceum, alius pateram, alius acerram plenam thuris ferebat. Hos sequebatur flamen amictus laena; et quacunque iter faceret, dabant illi viam nobiles atque plebeii, aperiebant capita et procumbebant in genua. In his qui de via secesserant, agnovimus aliquot qui triduo ante in illo eruditorum conventu magnam ingenii laudem erant adepti. Ipse vero flamen erectus ac celsus nemini se dabat, omnes aeque 339 Natalitius 1637, 1645 17 18 <?page no="304"?> Book Six 305 promised Tensa to him. But I can already see the day coming when the young man will regret this marriage.” Gallonius replied, “But it will not be difficult for him to abandon this marriage whenever he wants to, and to join with another woman who is more suitable for him in terms of social rank, wealth, and reputation.” Wondering at this I said, “I had heard that marriages here were everlasting and put asunder only by death. By what avenue will he pursue this unholy action? ” - “By the avenue that lies open and is already well trodden by the footsteps of many. The same one that Antiphila recently embarked on if she can make it clear, via witnesses, that her marriage was entered into not solemnly and legally but by force and fear. After all, the praetor restores what was accomplished by force.” - “What is this I hear? ” said Natalicius, “Antiphila is unmarried with her husband still alive? ” - “That same Antiphila who married Demophon the spice merchant? ” I asked. “The very one,” said Gallonius. “As a matter of fact, since she was beaten by her husband after being caught quite often committing adultery, she invented a story—four years after she had taken her husband’s hand in marriage—that her marriage had been coerced by fear, and that she would see to getting it dissolved and put asunder. This was immediately executed by the work of some scribe. Indeed, the audacity of this profession in perpetrating these and other abominable acts benefits the wickedest people most of all.” Tensa’s expert tricks and her plans, so cleverly devised in her heart to deceive, moved us with such delight that I exclaimed, “Zancha, your amusing and enjoyable story is worth more than the gemstones you are tasked to sell for us.” Zancha replied, “If that is how it seems to you, hand over your jewels; and on top of that, you reimburse me for the difference. But I believe you are pulling my leg, and I don’t think you’ve come here to buy witty sayings at such a high price. So follow me.” He grabbed our hands, led us to the forum, and ordered the banker to pay out three large silver talents to us. We headed home happy because our merchandise had brought such a successful return and we were flush with cash. On our way back, we came across a crowd of people. Dynast Orius, who was also a priest of Ceres, was on his way to perform religious rites to the goddess at her temple in a solemn ritual. His entire household was walking ahead of him, and among them were many other distinguished men following him out of respect. Next came his attendants, one of whom was carrying a ewer, another a bowl, and another a box filled with incense. The flamen Orius was following them wrapped in a woolen cloak, and wherever he went, noblemen and common people made way for him, doffed their hats, and knelt before him. Among those making way for him, we recognized a few who had won great praise for their talents in that gathering of scholars we had attended three days before. The flamen Orius, however, standing erect and tall, did not give his attention 17 18 <?page no="305"?> 306 Eudemia in Ten Books despiciebat. Erat inter plebeculam quae ad visendum accurrerat, tunicatus unus cum castula scortea, praecinctus zona, ad quam ferramenta multa pendebant, videlicet malleus, forceps, scalprum, sacculus plenus clavorum. Hunc flamen, ita ut erat ornatus, ad se vocat, sibi comitem addit. Interrogat quid rerum agat, ut valeat, num equo, quem ipsi curandum locaverat, dolores pedum remisissent, num aliqua salutis spes esset. Quod ego vehementer admirans, “Cur hic,” inquam, “Galloni, vir summus tantoque sacerdotio praeditus, quo tempore pontificiis insignibus ornatus, rei omnium gravissimae daturus est operam, tot honestis viris contemptis ac spretis, pannosum hunc eligit, quicum eat in via ac sermones instituat? Quae tam inter se distant quam Pontifex et faber ferrarius? Quid tam alienum ac discrepans quam laena pontificis et fabri ferramenta? Equidem nequeo satis mirari rationem istius.” - “Inepta mehercle est,” inquit Gallonius, “et stulta. Sed quid facias? Hic, ut ex ornatu potes conicere, equos soleis induit. Sed eo more hic vivitur, ut principibus viris longe sit carior equus vel simia vel aliqua alia nihili bestia quam quidquid est ubique litteratorum hominum et honestorum. Nam si eorum aliquis aeger in lecto decumbat, neque quisquam invisit, neque significatione aliqua eius sibi salutem cordi esse declarat. At si equo pes doleat, ecce subito clamores, querelae. Quicunque equos calceant evocantur, vota pro eius salute nuncupantur, invisuntur; operae, sumptui, labori non parcitur. Hoc ideo fit, quia homines probi doctique nullo sunt honore vel numero, bestiae in precio habentur. Possum illud addere, quod in hac republica omnia ea munera, quae debentur industriae, amicitiae traduntur et gratiae. Nam si, verbi causa, eligendus sit aliquis ab epistolis vel a cognitionibus, non continuo ille conducitur qui sit eloquentissimus ac doctissimus; illum conducunt potius quem amicus commendet vel utilitas ususque suadeat. Quo fit ut istorum epistolae ac iudicia, id quod minime ipsi laborant, ab iis irrideantur, apud quos haec studia vigent.” Tum ego stomachans, “Eamus,” inquam, “domum ac ientaculo nos reficiamus. Pudet enim diutius in hac urbe versari, quae peior est ea quam fugimus.” Venimus igitur domum, mensulam appositam invenimus, decumbimus. Paulo post adest a nauclero nuntius, qui magnopere eius verbis nos admonet ut, si ituri sumus, eamus; ventum operam dare, 340 ac nos solos esse in mora. Quamobrem consurgimus, vestes acceptas a Gallonio deponimus, nostras induimus, et cum 340 Plaut. Mil. IV.iv.1184-5: “Huc venito et matris verbis Philocomasium arcessito, / ut, si itura sit Athenas, eat tecum ad portum cito, / atque ut iubeat ferri in navim si quid imponi velit. / Nisi eat, te soluturum esse navim: ventum operam dare.” Similar phrasing to Rossi’s is also Barclay, Argenis, Liber II.4: “Aderat interim nauta monebatque ventum operam dare” (Barclay, Riley, and Huber 2004: 324). 19 <?page no="306"?> Book Six 307 to any one person but looked down his nose at everyone equally. Among the commoners, who had rushed to see him, there was one man dressed in a leather tunic with a belt around his waist from which many tools were hanging such as a hammer, pincers, a hoof knife, and a sack full of nails. The flamen Orius called this man over to him, dressed as he was, and invited the man to walk alongside him. He asked him how he was doing, whether he was in good health, whether the pain had diminished in his horse’s hooves, which he had brought to him to be treated, and whether there was any hope for his horse’s health. Wondering greatly at this, I said, “Gallonius, why did this great man, who holds such an important priesthood—and at the very moment that he, adorned with pontifical emblems, was about to devote himself to the most solemn matter of all—show disregard and scorn to many honorable men and instead choose this scruffy man to walk in the procession with and strike up a conversation? What two things are more different than a pontiff and a blacksmith? What things are more contrary and at odds than a pontiff’s cloak and a farrier’s tools? I honestly don’t see how it’s possible to be amazed enough at the flamen’s reasoning.” - “It is foolish and stupid, by God,” said Gallonius. “But what can you do? As you can guess from how he is dressed, that man shoes horses. The way of life here is such that noblemen care much more about their pet horses, monkeys, or any other worthless animal than about any literary and honest men whatsoever. If one of these men is lying sick in bed, nobody ever comes to visit him or send word that his health is of any concern to him. 116 But if his horse’s hoof is hurting, people immediately cry and complain, they summon whoever is able to shoe the horse, they pray for its health, they visit it, and they spare no effort, expense, or labor. This is because upstanding and learned men have no regard or status, while beasts are highly cherished. I can add to this that all of the positions in this state, which should be assigned on account of hard work, are given out instead on the basis of friendship and favors. For example, if someone is needed to write letters or legal opinions, they don’t immediately hire the most eloquent or learned person. No, they hire a person recommended by a friend, or who is useful or advantageous in some way. The result is that the letters or legal opinions of these people, which they spend no effort on, are ridiculed by those who do have skills in these areas.” Irritated, I then said, “Let’s go home and restore ourselves with breakfast. I am embarrassed to stay any longer in this city, because it’s worse than the one we escaped from.” We arrived home, found our breakfast prepared, and reclined at the table. A little while later, 116 This complaint is reminiscent of Rossi’s own complaint against his erstwhile employer Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto, which he voices in a 1637 letter (Ep. ad div. 2.II.V) to Ugo Ubaldini lamenting that, when he was once sick in bed, Peretti never asked after him. 19 <?page no="307"?> 308 Eudemia in Ten Books eo ad portum una contendimus; navem conscendimus et Gallonium, semel iterumque complexi, donatum torque annuloque cum gemma, relinquimus. Sed vix Gallonius abierat, cum adest pictor quidam, quem Ballionem vocabant, atque opere petit maximo ut navi nobiscum una tollatur cum muliere, quam uxorem esse suam aiebat. Navarchus, qui eum nosset quique eius artificio delectaretur, quamvis plena navi, non respuit et simul, “Quid,” inquit, “audio de uxore? Nonne isthaec est Nice, vulgare scortum? Ecquando tibi esse coepit uxor? ” - “Dicam,” ait Ballio. “Erat mihi cum isthac commercium, una cum aliis pluribus. Sed decem abhinc dies, cum ab ea noctem emissem, nescio quis deus fuit mihi auctor ut a meretricio quaestu abductam 341 in matrimonio mihi locarem. Atque eadem nocte, una cum suis rebus meam domum abduxi, eademque opera aedes illas locandas inscripsi. 342 Postridie mane veniunt amatores. Venit primum Callidius frumentarius, qui aedes videt inanes et inscriptas. Quaerit, rogat ex iis quibus testibus has compedes indui (nam re vera nihil aliud est uxor nisi vinculum merum) ac comperit eam mihi nupsisse. ‘Edepol’ inquit ille, ‘si ita est, tritici decem modii, quos dedi ut hae mihi fores in hunc annum paterent, ad mariti granarium transierunt.’ Venit Creopolis lanius, qui carnariis duobus grandibus se circumductum queritur. Adest Thermopota caupo, qui item per hanc rationem vinum, quod esset mulieri hunc annum satis, sibi ereptum fuisse deplorat. Accurrit Harpax decoctor ac minis quindecim ex iis pecuniis, quas a creditoribus abraserat, se fuisse tactum indignatur. Properant etiam alii mercatores, quorum singulis suam illam operam, mercede accepta, locaverat; omnesque tanquam furi manifestariae faciunt absenti convicium. Itaque paucis diebus post in ius ad praetorem veniunt; universi impetum in eam faciunt, singuli eidem litem intendunt. Sed cum tam multis non posset obsisti neque illa e re sua esse existimaret, quod semel in se ingurgitasset, evomere, statuit tanquam oppida hostilia eos habere, hoc est, direptos eversosque relinquere, atque in Geryonis regnum mecum una transmittere.” - “Fecistis eleganter,” inquit nauclerus. “Neque aliter factum oportuit. Edepol, possunt illi praeficas conducere, quae pecuniae, quam repetunt, naeniam canant.” 341 Cic. Phil. 2.44: “Primo vulgare scortum; certa flagiti merces nec ea parva; sed cito Curio intervenit, qui te a meretricio quaestu abduxit et, tamquam stolam dedisset, in matrimonio stabili et certo collocavit.” 342 Plaut. Trin. I.ii.168: “aedis venalis hasce inscribit litteris.” 20 <?page no="308"?> Book Six 309 a messenger arrived from the ship’s captain, who strongly urged us to get going (if we still intended to go), saying that the wind was favorable and that we were the only ones who were late. Therefore, we got up from the table, took off the clothes we had gotten from Gallonius, put on our own clothes, hurried off with Gallonius toward the port, and boarded the ship. After embracing Gallonius once and again, and after giving him a gift of a necklace and a ring set with one of our gemstones, we took our leave. Gallonius had barely departed when a certain painter arrived, whom they called Ballio, 117 who fervently begged to be taken on board the ship with us, along with a woman who he said was his wife. The captain, who knew this man and was amused by his cunning, did not rebuff him, even though the ship was full, and he asked, “What’s this I hear about a wife? Isn’t this that common whore Nice? When did she start being your wife? ” - “I will tell you,” said Ballio. “I was having relations with this woman, along with many others. But ten days ago, when I had paid for a night with her, I don’t know which god influenced me to whisk her away from the business of prostitution and marry her. That same night, I took her back to my house, together with all her things, and, at the same time, I listed her house for rent. The next morning her lovers arrived. Callidius the grain merchant was the first to come and see that her house was vacant and for rent. He made inquiries, asking those people who had been witnesses to my shackling (for, truly, a wife is nothing other than a veritable ball and chain), and he found out that I had married her. ‘My God,’ he said, ‘if that is the case, the ten pecks of wheat I gave her, so her door would be open to me for a whole year, have gone over to her husband’s granary.’ Creopolis the butcher arrived next, complaining that he had been tricked out of two huge racks of meat. Thermopota the innkeeper arrived grumbling that his wine, which would have been enough to last the woman a whole year, had likewise been stolen the same way. The bankrupt Harpax rushed over and was indignant that he had been taken for fifteen minae of the money he had fleeced off his creditors. Other merchants hurried over too, who had hired her services upon her accepting their offerings. They all reproached the woman, in her absence, as a manifest thief. A few days later, they went to court before the praetor, they all attacked her, and each one of them brought a suit against her. Since she could not fend off so many men, and didn’t think it was her problem to cough up what she had already swallowed, she decided to treat them like enemy cities—that is to say, she left them pillaged and in ruins—and she went off with me to the kingdom of Geryon.” 118 - “Well 117 Ballio is the name of a pimp in Plaut. Pseud. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VI n. 4. 118 Spain. In Greek mythology Geryon was a three-headed giant who lived on the island of Erytheia in the far west of the Mediterranean. He was the son of Chrysaor and Callirrhoe and grandson of Medusa. 20 <?page no="309"?> 310 Eudemia in Ten Books Erat in eadem navi faenerator, domi suae nobilis, qui ex ipsa importunitate atque molestia natus videbatur, adeo erat importunus ac molestus. Hic, tanquam si in amatoribus Nicae ipse esset expilatus ac deceptus, continuo, ore amarissimo, coepit inclementissima tum in Nicem, tum in totam meretricum nationem dicta dicere; et, “Quid mirum est,” ait, “si perfide, si maliciose, si nequiter, si avare mulier meretrix facit, cui vita est alterum fallere ac blanditiis et illecebris bonis patriis evertere? Est meretrix tanquam immensa quaedam vorago et gurges vitiorum. 343 Est meretrix calamitas, quae praediorum fructus intercipit. Est scopulus ad quem adolescentium praesertim fortunae, fama, salus offendit ac frangitur. Est profundum quod fundos aedesque arripit, haurit, devorat. Est mare acerrimum 344 quod nunquam datis satiatur neque expletur. Immo mare haud aeque est avidum ut meretrix. Nam in mare quod influit, occulte relabitur, ut iterum refluat. At in domum meretricis quod intrat, continuo disperit neque uspiam apparet. Vultin’ experiri? Proicite istam in mare. Huius contactu statim mare aquis, tanquam bonis, elaverit, ista illis sese ditaverit. Mare exhaustum evaserit; isthaec nondum expleta aliquid etiam amplius hiaverit.” Non tulit Ballio insolentiam hominis atque fastidium. “Ecquid tibi,” ait, “a muliere ista debetur? Ecquid tibi venit in mentem non recte in illam dicere? Qui alterum incusat probri, eum ipsum se intueri oportet. Tanquam non isthaec, quae loqueris, et multo etiam maiora, in faeneratorem conveniant! Si illae sunt avidae, vos estis hiantes. Si illae procaces, vos periuriosi. Si illae teterrimae, vos sacerrimi. Si illae sunt gurgites, vos estis barathra. Si illae sunt mare, vos estis Orcus, qui cuncta in se congerit nec quidquam regerit. Quod autem quidquid illis datur, non appareat, edacissimae vestrae pecuniae perficiunt, quae, intolerabili a vobis mercede locatae, quidquid attingunt, devorant. Nam ubi miseris aetas, morbus, vel aliquid eiusmodi, quaestui modum facit, 345 aurum et argentum, quod amatores congesserant, ad vos advolat, pignori opponitur. Sed cum 343 Cic. Verr. II.III.IX.23: “qui immensa aliqua vorago est, aut gurges vitiorum turpitudinumque omnium.” 344 Plaut. As. I.ii.134: “nam mare haud est mare, vos mare acerrumum.” 345 Sall. Cat. 24: “ea tempestate plurumos quoiusque generis homines adscivisse sibi dicitur, mulieres etiam aliquot, quae primo ingentis sumptus stupro corporis toleraverant, post ubi aetas tantummodo quaestui neque luxuriae modum fecerat, aes alienum grande conflaverant.” 21 22 <?page no="310"?> Book Six 311 played,” said the captain, “and you should not have done otherwise. By God, those men can go hire mourners to sing a dirge to the money they want back.” On board the same ship was a moneylender, a man of distinction in his own town, who was so uncivil and annoying that he seemed to have been born of incivility and annoyance itself. As if he himself had been among the lovers whom Nice had fleeced and deceived, he immediately started uttering harsh words, in the bitterest of terms, against Nice and against the whole class of whores. “Why is it any wonder,” he said, “that a whore—whose life is all about cheating other people and expelling them from their hereditary estates with flattery and enticements—acts treacherously, maliciously, wickedly, and greedily. A whore is like a giant abyss and a whirlpool of vices. A whore is a crop failure that robs a farm of its yield. She is a rock against which fortunes, reputation, and prosperity are dashed and shattered, especially those of young men. She is an abyss that seizes, drains, and devours farms and estates. She is a most dangerous sea that is never satiated with offerings or has her fill. On the contrary, the sea is hardly a whore’s equal in terms of greed. Things that flow into the sea secretly retreat and flow back again, whereas whatever finds its way into a whore’s house disappears immediately, never to be seen again. Want to see for yourself? Throw this woman into the sea. As soon as she comes in contact with it, the sea will be wiped clean of its water, as if from its riches, and she will become wealthy off of it; once she has depleted the sea, she will escape; and, still not satisfied, she will want even more.” Ballio did not stand for this man’s insolence and contempt. “What does this woman owe you? ” he asked. “What are you thinking that you can’t speak accurately about her? Whoever accuses another of a shameful act needs to look at himself. As if it’s not true that the things you describe are applicable to a moneylender, and much more egregious things besides! If whores are greedy, you are ravenous; if they are shameless, you are perfidious; if they are disgraceful, you are wicked; if they are a whirlpool, you are an abyss; if they are the sea, you are Orcus drawing everything into itself and never giving it back. You claim that whatever is given to whores disappears, but your all-devouring money—money that you lend at crushing interest rates and that devours whatever it touches— accomplishes this more thoroughly. For when age, illness, or anything of this sort starts limiting a wretched whore’s earnings, the gold and silver that her lovers had heaped on her flies to you instead as collateral for a loan. But when someone doesn’t have sufficient means to pay back your crushing interest, what is paid out as interest and principal is taken and sunk in your deepest pit, never to emerge again. Thus, if a whore is the sea, you are a whirlpool that swallows up the sea itself; if she is the ruin of young men, you are a raging pestilence, equally dangerous to both.” The haughty and hot-tempered man did not stand 21 22 <?page no="311"?> 312 Eudemia in Ten Books immanissimi illius faenoris solvendi facultas non suppetat, pro faenore et pro sorte, quod est allatum, abripitur et in vestrum profundissimum barathrum, nunquam inde emersurum, immergitur. Itaque, si meretrix est mare, vos estis vorago, quae mare ipsum absorbet. Si illa est pernicies adolescentium, vos estis lues quae aeque utrisque infesta desaevit.” Non pertulit homo elatus et iracundus has tanquam verborum faces, quas ipsi Ballio admovit. 346 Sed graviter exarsit ac superbissimas acerbissimasque in eum contumelias effudit. At Ballio, qui nihil hominem metueret, una cum uxore conatus est in os seni involare. Sed nos non permisimus. Verum nihil aegrius est factum quam ut ab insolentissimo illo faeneratore manus abstinerentur. 347 Sed sublatis discordiis, consecuta est hilaritas iocusque. Nam pictorem illum navarchus rogavit ne gravaretur exponere de peregrina nescio qua, quemadmodum res sese habuisset. Qui statim, “Cum venissem,” inquit, “Aspim, ab oppidi illius domino conductus ut ambulacri cuiusdam parietes picturis vestirem, accessit eodem Lyus, notissimus Cynicus, summus rerum humanarum contemptor, ac vitiorum insectator acerrimus. Qui coepit crebras ad cives conciones habere ac loqui liberius de eorum improbitate atque nequitia. At cum oppidi dominus eius se obiurgationibus in primis expeti intellegeret, lectica impositum, ditionis suae finibus eiciendum eum curavit. Verum ita illinc discessit, ut magnam sanctitatis innocentiaeque de se opinionem apud omnes relinqueret. “At postridie oppidum illud intrat peregrina virgo, Vestalis habitu. Non ex genere earum, quae communium parietum septis inclusae, seorsum a reliqua turba aevum agunt, sed ex illarum numero, quae libere qua lubet incedunt; quo nimirum ostendant posse etiam inter virorum coetus castitatem et ceteros laudabiles mores coli. Huic virgini Minervae sigillum ex aere tanquam crepundia in collo pendebat. Unde apud omnes magnam de se castitatis opinionem concitabat. Quam etiam maiorem faciebat ex eo, quod se sororem esse Lyi simulabat atque clarissimas orbis terrarum peregrinationes suscepisse narrabat. Etenim se venisse aiebat ad Cererem Ennensem, ad Apollinem Delphicum, ad Dianam Ephesiam, ad Iovem Ammonium, Dodonaeum, denique nullum esse locum aliqua deorum immortalium religione praeditum, quem non ipsa adiisset, lustrasset, venerata esset. Itaque tum pro eo, quod philosophus ille magno erat apud omnes honore ac nomine, tum etiam ob tam insignes ab ipsa obitas pere- 346 Cic. De or. III.I.4: “Hic cum homini et vehementi et diserto et in primis forti ad resistendum Philippo quasi quasdam verborum faces admovisset.” 347 Cic. Verr. II.IV.LXV.146: “quo quidem die nihil aegrius factum est multo labore meo quam ut manus ab illo appellatore abstinerentur.” 23 24 <?page no="312"?> Book Six 313 for these fiery words that Ballio was brandishing at him, and he flared up violently, showering arrogant and harsh insults on him. Ballio, who has never been afraid of anyone, together with his wife tried to fly at the old man’s face, but we didn’t let them. Indeed, there was no more difficult a task than keeping their hands off that most insolent moneylender. Once their quarrel had subsided, however, lightheartedness and joking ensued. The captain asked the painter if he would mind telling the story of a certain foreign woman and how it unfolded. The painter immediately said, “When I came to Aspis, 119 having been hired by the ruler of that town to cover the walls of a public walkway with my paintings, Lyus that most famous Cynic philosopher—who holds humanistic pursuits in the greatest contempt and is the most zealous persecutor of vices—arrived at the same town. He proceeded to give frequent speeches before the people and to speak frankly about their wickedness and evil ways. When the ruler of the town realized that he was being especially singled out for reproach, he arranged for the man to be placed on a litter and expelled from the territory that he governed. The man departed that region in such a way, however, that he left behind a feeling of high esteem among the people for his virtue and integrity. “The following day, a foreign maiden entered the town dressed as a Vestal Virgin. She was not the sort of Vestal who lives her life apart from the rest of the crowd, pent up within the enclosure of common walls, but was the sort who goes around freely wherever she likes, so she can demonstrate, without a doubt, that her chastity and her other praiseworthy habits can be maintained even in interactions with men. The maiden had a bronze image of Minerva hanging around her neck like an amulet. Because of this, she inspired everyone’s high esteem for her chastity, which she increased all the more by pretending to be the sister of that philosopher Lyus and telling everyone she had been on the world’s most famous pilgrimages. Indeed, she said she had even reached the Temple of Ceres in Enna, the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, the Temple of Jupiter at Amun, and the one at Dodona, and, finally, that there was no place where the worship of any immortal god was practiced that she had not visited, surveyed, or venerated in person. Therefore, because of the great esteem and reputation the philosopher Lyus enjoyed among the 119 The Latin is Aspim, an anagram of the accusative form of Pisa. 23 24 <?page no="313"?> 314 Eudemia in Ten Books grinationes, quarum notitiam non aliam habemus praeter eam quam ex Latinis monumentis accepimus, fiebat ut summe ab omnibus expeteretur ac certamen esset inter mulieres nobiles, quaenam earum prior hospitio illam acciperet, convivam sibi adhiberet, suum in cubiculum atque adeo suum in lectum dormitum adduceret. Putabant enim ex virginei illius corporis contrectatione sibi etiam posse sanctitatis eiusdem quidpiam haerere. Quid verbis opus est? Summae cuiusdam gloriae instar habebatur saltem una semel nocte cum illa concubuisse, ut etiam quibus id minus contigisset, de hoc falso gloriarentur. Et (quod magis miremini) inter Vestalium septa, summa cum earum Antistitis voluntate intromissa, aliquot ibi noctes exegit. Sed tandem, memor aliarum urbium, quarum etiam mulieribus castissimi sui corporis copiam fieri aequum esse existimabat, coepit profectionem ornare. Hinc mulierum earum lamentationes, hinc fletus exorti; quae mulieres, multo quam par erat celerius, illud sibi solatium eripi querebantur. Etenim iucundissima illius consuetudine nequaquam se esse satiatas clamabant. “Sed earum querimoniis aures obstruxit seque in proximum oppidum contulit, Basilico nomine. Ubi vidua quaedam primaria portarum custodibus in mandatis dederat ut, si quam mulierem, peregrini habitus, pedem intro ferentem aspexissent, continuo ad se domum adducerent. Haec genere, copiis et existimatione suorum civium facile princeps, aliquot disposita domi suae cubilia habebat, ubi peregrinis mulieribus hospitium praebendum, pedes abluendos, cenam dandam, lectos sternendos curabat. Hoc igitur novum sanctitatis prodigium simul aspectum et ad viduam deductum est. Ubi cum cognationem, qua Lyo tam arcte implicabatur, et clarissimas illas a se obitas peregrinationes frequenter in ore haberet, perducta est in conspectum ac colloquium piissimae illius feminae. Quae adeo castimonia sanctissimisque illius sermonibus delectata est, ut noctu, exclusa ancillula quae in suppedaneo apud eius pedes lecto cubitabat, peregrinam introduxerit atque in illo eodem ancillari lectulo collocaverit. At bona peregrina mediam circiter noctem, cum ex screatu 348 ab oculis viduae somnum abesse cognovisset, coepit dentium se invicem verberantium fragore, summum corporis totius horrorem assimulare; et interrogata quid esset, se subita correptam febri lethale totis artubus frigus concepisse respondit. At vidua, misericordia capta, suum in lectulum venire eam iussit secumque stragulum et 348 Ter. Haut. II.iii.372-3: “Inversa verba, eversas cervices tuas, / Gemitus, screatus, tussis, risus abstine.” 25 <?page no="314"?> Book Six 315 people, and because of the notable pilgrimages the maiden had undertaken (which we have no other acquaintance of except what we have gleaned from monuments of Latin literature), it came about that she was greatly sought after. The noblewomen of the town competed for which of them would be the first to receive her as a guest, have her over for dinner, invite her to sleep in her room, and even in her bed. Indeed, they believed that some element of the maiden’s purity would rub off on them through contact with her body. What more can I say? It was considered the greatest honor to spend the night with the maiden at least once, such that even those who did not succeed in doing so falsely boasted that they had. And (what will amaze you even more) she was admitted to stay several nights cloistered among the Vestals, with the most fervent blessing of their High Priestess. Finally, mindful of other cities—whose women she thought it only right should share the wealth of her very chaste body—she began to prepare for her departure. This caused a wellspring of wailing and weeping among the women of Aspis, who complained that their comfort was being taken away from them much sooner than seemed right. As a matter of fact, they proclaimed that they had not gotten their fill of her most delightful company. “But their complaints fell on deaf ears, and the maiden made her way to the next town over, called Basilicum, where a certain eminent widow ordered the guards of the city gates, if they saw a maiden set foot in the town dressed in foreign attire, to bring her immediately to her house. This widow, easily the first among her fellow citizens in terms of rank, wealth, and reputation, had various couches placed around her house for offering hospitality to foreign women, and she arranged for their feet to be washed, dinner to be served, and beds to be made up for them. As soon as the guards recognized this extraordinary prodigy of virtue, they brought her to the widow’s house. When the maiden recounted the kinship that bound her so closely with Lyus and the most celebrated pilgrimages she had undertaken, she was led over into the sight and company of that most pious widow. The widow was so delighted by the maiden’s chastity and most saintly words that she locked her young servant girl (who usually slept in a little cot at her feet) out that night, brought the foreign maiden into her room, and settled her in the servant girl’s cot. Around midnight, when the foreign maiden recognized, by the way the widow was clearing her throat (even though she could not see her), that the widow was far from closing her eyes to sleep, she began pretending, by making noises with her chattering teeth, that her whole body was shivering. When the widow asked what was the matter, she responded that she had been seized by an unexpected deadly fever and, because of that, a sudden chill had taken hold of her entire body. The widow, taken with pity, ordered her to come into her bed and to bring her blanket and other bedclothes 25 <?page no="315"?> 316 Eudemia in Ten Books ceteras vestes, quibus tegeretur, afferre. Quae non est passa se iterum rogari, sed confestim, dicto audiens, 349 viduae lectum inscendit. “Sed illam non ita multo post sopor rursum invasit. Rem miram, extemplo sanctissima illa peregrina, ex pudica virgine in salacem virum conversa, tanquam admissarius quidam equus, conatus est dormientem opprimere. 350 At illa, eo conatu experrecta, “Quid est hoc? ” ait. Cui novus hic vir, “Recte,” inquit. “Pone metum. Ego, ut me tibi indicem, vir sum, qui hoc ornatu urbes circumeo, ut mulieribus, libidine incensis, sed propinquorum vel existimationis metu in officio retentis, sine cuiusquam offensione animum expleam.” Quid putatis lectissimam feminam in eas angustias comprehensam egisse? Quid consilii coepisse? Num fortasse animum despondisse, vel, quod cuivis ineptae venisset in mentem, clamores extulisse, vel popularium fidem implorasse, unde concursus vicinorum fierent? Nihil horum. Sed hilari fronte, “Bene agis,” inquit. “Dii tibi multa dent bona pro hac in nostrum genus misericordia. Sed non te pigeat hic paulisper manere, dum corpus abluam. Iam diu enim factum est postquam non lavi. Neque enim olim, nisi lauta, solita eram viro operam dare. Atque eadem opera ancillam quantum potest hinc abigam, ne quid persentiscat vel indicium faciat. Tum revertar ad te, ut occasionem tam lepidam mihi in sinum delatam arripiam.” Ac lecto desiliens ancillam convenit, admonet ut unum ex familiaribus excitet qui, subucula ac soleis tantum indutus (ne ceteras vestes sumendo tempus terat) curriculo ad praetorem se conferat eumque suis verbis oret ut lictorum ad se cohortem mittat: rem esse flagitiosam, turpem ac dignam cui quam primum obviam eatur. Ille advolat, rem narrat; praetor non procrastinat, ire lictores iubet. Qui veniunt ac sycophantam illum comprehendunt, vinciunt, in carcerem abstrahunt. Ne multis morer: quaestione habita, post triduum pannosi habitu ad supplicium datur, hoc est, homini suspendio vita eripitur. “Cuius facti rumor cum ad nos permanasset, ego, quo certior fierem, clam Basilicum usque me contuli. Unde reversus Aspim, ut quemque eorum aspexeram, quorum uxores gloriabantur se dignas fuisse habitas quae vim illam sanctitatis atque pudoris lecto exciperent, oscularentur, contrectarent, continuo aiebam, ‘O te felicem, in cuius domum boni tantum contigit immigrare! ’ Ille negare factum. 349 Cf. Plaut. Pers. III.i.399; Trin. IV.iii.1062. 350 dormientem inire 1637 26 27 <?page no="316"?> Book Six 317 with her. The maiden did not have to be asked twice; she immediately obeyed and climbed into the widow’s bed. “Before too long, sleep overcame the widow. Then an incredible thing happened. That most virtuous maiden suddenly transformed from a chaste virgin into a lecherous man, and, like a stud horse, tried to overcome the sleeping widow. The widow was awakened by his attempts and said, ‘What’s all this? ’ To which the stranger replied, ‘Put aside your fear at once. As I am showing you, I am a man, and I go around cities dressed like this in order to fulfill the fantasies of women, who are inflamed with desire but kept on the straight and narrow by their anxiety regarding their neighbors and their reputation.’ And what do you think that most excellent woman did, now that she was caught between a rock and a hard place? What did she resolve to do? Did she perhaps lose heart or do what might occur to some foolish women—that is, raise a shout or ask for the protection of her fellow citizens so that her neighbors would come running? None of the above. Instead she laughed and said, ‘Good for you. May the gods bestow many blessings on you in exchange for this compassion toward our sex. I hope you don’t mind waiting here for a bit while I go wash up. It has been a while since I have had a bath, and even back in the old days I was not accustomed to give my attentions to a man unless I had bathed. For the same reason, I will send my servant girl as far away from here as possible, so she doesn’t notice anything or tell on us. Then I will return to you, so I can seize this most delightful opportunity that has fallen into my lap.’ She jumped down from the bed, conferred with her maidservant, ordered her to go wake up a member of her household who, dressed only in his underwear and slippers (so as not lose any time putting on the rest of his clothes), ran to the praetor and begged him, on her behalf, to send a cohort of lictors to her house; that the matter was scandalous, disgraceful, and needed to be addressed right away. The man hurried to tell him. The praetor did not delay, and he ordered the lictors to go. They arrived, seized the trickster, tied him up, and dragged him off to jail. To make a long story short, the inquiry was concluded, and three days later, dressed in rags, he was handed over to his punishment—that is to say, his life was ended by hanging. “When the news of this event reached us, in order to have confirmation of it, I made my way secretly to Basilicum. While returning from there to Aspis, whenever I saw any of those men, whose wives were boasting that they had been worthy of receiving that pillar of virtue and honor into their bed, of kissing her and caressing her, I would immediately say, ‘Aren’t you lucky that so much good fortune entered your house! ’ The man would deny what happened, and I would keep pressing; but he would refuse to acknowledge it so as not to make me jealous. Keeping up the same pretense, I insisted that I regretted nothing 26 27 <?page no="317"?> 318 Eudemia in Ten Books Ego instare factum. Sed ideo id eum infitiari, ne mihi invidiam faceret. Atque in eadem dissimulatione perseverans, nullius rei me tam poenitere affirmabam, quam quod eius imaginis formam non in pluribus tabulis descripsissem easque venales habuissem. ‘Nam pro numero emptorum,’ aiebam, ‘ac pro vestra in bellissimam illam virginem pietate, totum hunc annum opus mihi non defuisset. Quamobrem brevi ad magnas pecunias pervenissem.’ Ne multa: omnino nemo inveniebatur qui sycophantam illum pedem intro in suam domum tulisse confiteretur.” Non magis attente quam hilariter lepidum sycophantae illius commentum acceptum est, quod invenerat ut mulierum, quae ubique sunt gentium, potiretur. Fuitque non nemo qui felicitatem illam homini invidisset, si eidem diuturniorem eam esse licuisset. Liber VII Iam valido, quemque maxime optaveramus, vento in altum delati, placido tranquilloque mari adeo delectabamur, ut, quemadmodum de Achivorum exercitu Pacuvius inquit, laeti piscium lasciviam intueremur, 351 cum subito, adversa coorta tempestate, eundem in locum reiecti sumus, unde discesseramus. Sed Neptunum arbitror fluctus commovisse maritimos, quod certi cuiusdam senis, Ligurino nomine, qui nobiscum una vehebatur, fastidium insolentiamque perferre non posset. Huic, supra quam dici potest moroso atque difficili, omnia exhibebant negotium: volatus avium, aurae sibilus, remigum laborantium in reddenda anima sonitus; quibus etiam minitatus est crucem, si ita respirassent, ut aliquis eius ad aures sonus veniret. Toto illo navigio una cum servo prosecutus est culicem, qui dormienti sibi in aurem insusurraverat. Multa alia praetereo, ne sim longior, quibus odium illud propemodum nos enecavit. Nobis igitur ita, ut dixi, in litus expulsis, aegre impetratum est a navarcho ut liceret Gallonium invisere. Nam se velle aiebat, simul ac contrarius ille ventus consedisset, navim solvere neque diem posterum exspectare. Propterea properaremus redire. Quamobrem sine ulla mora ad aedes Gallonii venimus per angiportum, quod ad eas recta ferebat. Qui, ut nos aspexit, maiorem aliquam esse causam reversionis nostrae existimavit ac, dimisso Plusio Accipitre, de quo supra commem- 351 Cic. Div. I.XIV.24: “An Achivorum exercitus et tot navium rectores non ita profecti sunt ab Ilio, ut ‘profectione laeti piscium lasciviam intuerentur,’ ut ait Pacuvius, ‘nec tuendi satietas capere posset? ’” See also Eud. 1998 Lib. VII, n. 1. 1 2 <?page no="318"?> Book Seven 319 more than not having drawn her beautiful image on many canvasses and sold them. ‘For,’ I would say, ‘on account of the number of buyers, and on account of your devotion to that most beautiful maiden, I would have enough work for the entire year; and, because of that, I would have earned a huge amount of money in a short period of time.’ In sum, nobody could be found who was willing to admit that the trickster had set foot in his house.” That delightful story of the trickster was received as attentively as it was cheerfully, because he had discovered how to possess women (who are everywhere), and everyone would have envied that man for his success, if it could only have lasted longer. Book Seven The strong wind we had very much been hoping for was already carrying us out to sea, and we were so enjoying the placid and tranquil water that, as Pacuvius once said regarding the Greek army, we were happily observing the fish at play. 120 Then, suddenly, the weather turned foul and we were driven back to the same place we had departed from. I believe that Neptune had churned up those waves because he could not tolerate the contempt and arrogance of a certain old man named Ligurinus 121 who was traveling with us. Peevish and fastidious beyond belief, everything bothered this man: flying birds, the whistling wind, the sound of oarsmen straining to catch their breath. He even threatened to have the oarsmen crucified if they breathed in such a way that any sound they made reached his ears. Together with his servant, Ligurinus chased a gnat throughout the entire ship because it had buzzed in his ear while he was sleeping. So as not to go on and on, I am leaving out many other things that engendered such a hatred for him that it just about did us in. Once we had been carried back to shore, as I said, we got the captain to agree to let us go see Gallonius, which he was reluctant to do, since he was saying he wanted to set sail as soon as the contrary winds subsided and not wait until the following day. Because of this, he wanted us to return quickly. We arrived at Gallonius’s house without delay via a narrow street that led straight there. As soon as Gallonius saw us, he reckoned that there was some 120 Two lines of Pacuvius quoted in Cic. Div. I.XIV.24 (see Liber VII, n. 351). 121 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 2) suggests that this pseudonym was inspired by the Ligurinus referenced in Hor. Carm. IV.10.5. Because Rossi’s Ligurinus is a peevish old man, it is fitting that the poem from which his name derives is about the transience of youth and beauty. 1 2 <?page no="319"?> 320 Eudemia in Ten Books oravimus, eius reversionis causam efflagitat. Nos exortam tempestatem et simul odiosam Ligurini importunitatem exponimus; ac “Si,” inquam, “iterum cum eo navigandum sit nobis, nihil est opus carnifice qui animam adimat; satis eam nobis suo ille odio praeripiet antequam portum conspicere valeamus.” - “Ne miremini,” inquit Gallonius. “Aeque ille est terra marique omnibus quibuscum vivit odiosus. Atque (ut sciatis) vicinia, in qua nuper habitabat, vota fecit pro illius abitu, vel potius interitu. Nam gallos gallinaceos, quotquot circa aedes ipsius erant, capiendos interficiendosque curavit, eo quod interdiu sibi aliud agenti aures obtunderent. Praeterea insignem canem, qui ob eius festivitatem ab omnibus diligebatur quique latratu fures arcebat, catapulta e catapultario emissa dilaceravit, causatus quod ipsi volenti quiescere somnos abigeret, sed re vera quod sit odiosus, saevus, truculentus, immanis. Quid? Nonne multis persecutus est noctibus noctuam, quae occentabat fenestram cubiculi in quo iacebat, quod oscinem eam esse avem diceret, eique, cui concineret, semper aliquid triste praediceret? Itaque post multos labores insidiis exceptam obtruncavit eiusque caput hastae praefixum trophaei loco impostum suis aedibus habuit. At nihil est in hoc homine (ut sciatis) praeter corporis proceritatem, generis splendorem summamque superbiam. Erat olim etiam dives; sed nuper in mari bonis elavit, 352 itaque nunc trioboli homo est, 353 vel potius nihili bestia. 354 Sed abeat, naviget; deos oro ut perpetuum hoc illi sit iter. “Arbitror me Plusium Accipitrem Offuscato reconciliasse.” - “Quid? ” aio, “erantne inter eos inimicitiae? ” - “Maximae,” inquit, “et capitales. Sunt in suburbanis istis arenariae complures tortuosae ac labyrintheis flexibus et erroribus similes. 355 In eas abavi horum hominum, religiosissimi mortales, cum palam non liceret, furtim ad sacra Cereri Liberoque facienda conveniebant; eorumque religionis non pauca etiamnum in his locis vestigia cernuntur. Est antiquitatum istarum studiosus Offuscatus, ut nostis; qui saepius, omissis ceteris curis, se 352 Plaut. Rud. II.vii.578-9: “Eho an te paenitet, / in mari quod elavi, ni hic in terra iterum eluam? ” 353 Plaut. Poen. I.ii.381-2: “Non ego homo trioboli sum, nisi ego illi mastigiae / exturbo oculos atque dentes.” 354 Plaut. Mil. II.ii.180: “Vae mihi misero, quoi pereundumst propter nihili bestiam.” 355 Catull. LXIV.115. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 4. In his Roma sotterranea (Rome: G. Facciotti, 1632) Antonio Bosio calls these networks of underground passages grotte arenarie and gives catacombe, catatombe, and cimitero as three synonyms. 3 <?page no="320"?> Book Seven 321 more serious reason for our coming back and, after sending Plusius Accipiter away (whom we mentioned above), he insisted on knowing the cause of our return. We told him about the storm that had arisen as well as about Ligurinus’s odious incivility. I said, “If we have to sail with that man again, we won’t need an executioner to finish us off. Ligurinus will sufficiently take away our lives with his hatefulness before we are even able to see the port.” - “Do not be astonished,” said Gallonius. “He is equally offensive to everyone he lives with, on land and on sea. Just so you know, the neighborhood where he has recently been living has prayed for his departure, or better yet, for his demise. He had all of the roosters around his house captured and killed because they sometimes deafened him while he was trying to get things done during the day. 122 Moreover, he wounded a remarkable dog with a stone from a catapult, whom everyone adored on account of its good nature, and who kept thieves away by barking. He justified himself by saying that the dog had kept him awake while he was trying to sleep. But the truth is that he is hateful, cruel, harsh, and a monster. What? Did he not chase after a little owl, for many nights in a row, that was hooting at the window of the room where he was sleeping, because he said it was an omen-bringing bird that was always foretelling an unhappy fate to the person it prophesied to? So, after much effort, he caught the owl in a trap and killed it, and he had its head mounted on a spear in his home as a trophy. But there is nothing to this man, as you know, besides his physical height, the splendor of his lineage, and his supreme arrogance. He was even wealthy once upon a time, but he was recently cleaned out of his possessions at sea and is now a worthless man, or rather, a no-account brute. Let him go, let him sail away. I pray to the gods that his voyage lasts forever! “I believe I have reconciled Plusius Accipiter with Offuscatus.” - “What? ” I said. “Was there animosity between them? ” - “A great deal,” he responded. “They were mortal enemies. There are many winding catacombs on the outskirts of Rome that are like the twists and turns of a labyrinth. The forefathers of these people, very observant men, used to meet secretly in these subterranean tunnels to perform sacred rites to Ceres and Liber because it was not permitted to do so openly. Quite a few traces of their religious practices can be seen in these locations even today. As you know, Offuscatus is a scholar of these antiquities. He often puts his other responsibilities aside and retreats underground, where 122 Urban VIII was supposed to have had all of the birds killed in the gardens of the Palazzo Barberini on the Quirinale because their singing disturbed his sleep (Shea and Artigas 2003: 136); it is doubtful, however, that Rossi would have dared such a direct attack on the Pope. 3 <?page no="321"?> 322 Eudemia in Ten Books abdit sub terras ac dies noctesque integras in perlustrandis locis illis religiosissimis cum voluptate traducit. Plusius, qui potando, edendo, scorta ducendo rem perdidit quique cupiat aliquid invenire, si possit, quo vitae priori reddatur, sibi persuaserat magnae cuiuspiam utilitatis gratia Offuscatum loca ista humi depressa celebrare, hoc est, thesauris defodiendis operam dare et magicis eam ad rem artibus uti. Itaque ad maximas se posse divitias pervenire existimavit, si in societatem ab eo reciperetur. Nec sibi defuit. Nam die quodam inventum seducit, abreptaque manu, ‘Dic, obsecro,’ inquit, ‘quid tibi negotii est sub terra? Cur aetatem exigis in arenariis? ’ At ille, ‘Quid putas? Delectat me religiosos maiorum nostrorum ritus pernoscere.’ At Plusius, ‘Tace,’ inquit. ‘Quasi nos inter nos nunc primum noverimus; nunquam te tam religiosum agnosci. Immo thesauris defodiendis te locupletas.’ Tum Offuscatus, ‘Quid tibi venit in mentem suspicari veteribus illis fuisse thesauros, quibus probitas erat pro opulentia, pietas pro divitiis? ’ - ‘Nihil agis,’ inquit Plusius. ‘Non sum adeo in nostris annalibus hospes ac rudis, ut non legerim sanctissimos illos homines scyphis aureis diis libasse et ad nocturna orgia argenteis candelabris praefixos cereos habuisse. Proinde, pro nostra amicitia, me tibi socium adscribito. Gestio enim mihi aliquas pulcherrimi huius operis partes adsciscere.’ Offuscatus, cognita Plusii vanitate, lepidos sibi ludos ad omnem voluptatem et otium esse oblatos existimavit, neque ulla ratione dimittendos censuit. Ac primo coepit eum rogare, obsecrare ne se proderet. Capital enim facere, qui magicas artes colat. Itaque, ‘Si me,’ inquit, ‘diligis, si mea tibi salus cordi est, quod scis nescis, et quod vides non vides. Quod autem petis, ut te in societatem recipiam, non meae sunt istae partes, sed ad Stylium, amicum nostrum, pertinent, qui abest hinc millia passuum circiter centum. Sed honoris tui gratia perficiam ut minus horis tribus totum hoc iter conficiat et ad Iani Quadrifrontis templum adveniat. Et gaudeo mehercle hanc a te mihi occasionem fuisse oblatam. Volo enim par illi referre, cuius olim cantionibus ferme horis quinque in hanc urbem ex patria sum extractus.’ - ‘O istuc si dederis,’ Plusius exclamat, ‘magnus profecto vir es.’ - ‘Obsecro,’ Offuscatus ait, ‘compesce vocem, ne clama; abi domum; et cura te ut, cum est opus, sis mihi praesto ad Ianum; ego cum clavo laminali illic adero.’ Hic est clavus quidam aeneus perantiquus, in Aridi museo nuper ab eo conspectus. Qui, quoniam characteres quosdam et notas habet impressas, 356 visus est in primis ad eludendum Plusium idoneus, magicae artis cupidum. Interea Offuscatus ad Stylii aedes accurrit, qui pridie eius diei e patria redierat; Plusii stultitiam enarrat; quemadmodum ludos eum fieri velit, exponit. Convenit inter eos ut Stylius hora eius diei undecima 356 For IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 6) this brings to mind Apul. Met. III.17: “[Pamphile] apparatu solito instruit feralem officinam, omne genus aromatis et ignorabiliter laminis litteratis.” <?page no="322"?> Book Seven 323 he spends entire days and nights joyfully examining these most religious sites. 123 Plusius, who has squandered his estate on drink, food, and whores—and who wishes to find some way, if he can, by which he can be restored to his previous lifestyle—has convinced himself that Offuscatus visits these sunken underground places because of some great advantage; that is, that he is engaged in digging up treasures and employing the magical arts in this quest. Thus, Plusius reckoned that he could attain enormous wealth if Offuscatus took him on as a partner. And he didn’t fail in this endeavor. One day he tracked Offuscatus down, grabbed his hand, and took him aside, saying, ‘Please tell me what business you have underground. Why do you spend your life in those catacombs? ’ Offuscatus replied, ‘Why do you think? I enjoy becoming thoroughly acquainted with the religious rites of our ancestors.’ Plusius replied, ‘Oh be quiet! It’s as if we were meeting each other for the first time. I have never known you to be so religious. No, you are getting rich off of treasure hunting.’ Offuscatus replied, ‘Why does it occur to you to believe that our ancestors, who embraced uprightness instead of opulence and duty instead of riches, had any treasure? ’ - ‘It’s no use,’ said Plusius. ‘I am not such a stranger to, or so uneducated in, our history books that I have not read about our pious ancestors offering libations to the gods with golden goblets and using candles in silver candelabras for their nocturnal orgies. Therefore, in the name of our friendship, take me on as a partner. I am eager to claim for myself some part of this most attractive enterprise.’ Offuscatus, familiar with Plusius’s vanity, believed that this delightful pastime offered him every satisfaction and leisure, and he was determined not to give it up for any reason. First, he began asking and imploring Plusius not to report him, since the practice of magical arts was a capital offense. He said, ‘If you love me, if my well-being is important to you, do not know what you know and do not see what you are seeing. What you are asking for, to take you on as my partner, that is not up to me. It is up to our friend Stylius, who lives about one hundred miles away. However, out of respect for you, I will make sure he travels that entire distance in less than three hours and meets us at the Temple of Janus Quadrifrons. 124 By God, I am pleased that you have given me this opportunity. I want to pay him back for dragging me, using magic spells, from my hometown to this city in five hours.’ - ‘Oh! ’ exclaimed Plusius. ‘If you could make that happen, you are surely a great man.’ - ‘I’m begging you,’ replied Offuscatus, ‘keep your voice down and don’t yell. Go home and make sure that you are waiting for me at the Temple 123 Antonio Bosio carried out a systematic exploration of Rome’s catacombs, which he published in his book titled Roma sotterranea (Rome: Facciotti, 1632). Rossi provides a vivid description of Bosio’s subterranean adventures in his Pinacotheca. 124 Possibly a reference to St. John Lateran Archbasilica, though the Arch of Janus is a fourth-century CE arch located at the northeastern edge of the Forum Boarium. <?page no="323"?> 324 Eudemia in Ten Books ocreatus, tanquam si tum primum urbem ingrederetur, ante aedem Iani Quadrifrontis appareat atque Offuscatum increpet, quod se minus horis tribus in urbem extraxisset. “Plusius maturius quam erat imperatum domum ad Offuscatum venit; urget, instat ut eant. Nihil sibi videri longius quam dum ex veteri aliquo sepulcro aulam auri plenam effodiat. Itaque eunt, veniunt. Offuscatus in aede Iani, in dextero ad laevam angulo, clavum laminalem solemnibus quibusdam verbis a se nuper inventis humi defigit. Tum schedulam laneo funiculo alligatam ad Plusii collum appendit, in qua inscriptae erant litterae: duo PP, duo CC et unum R. Quaerentibus nobis, quibus fabula narrabatur, id quid esset, dixit Offuscatus, ‘Plusius Perdidit Cerebrum Cum Re.’ 357 Hanc illi schedulam imperavit ut sibi nunquam adimeret, sed perpetuo eam sineret tanquam crepundia in collo pendere, si vellet caput a lemuribus salvum domum referre. Tum incipiunt deambulare. Multisque spatiis iam factis, ecce tibi Stylius adest. Prior Plusius eum aspicit atque illico laetus exclamat, ‘Venit! ’ Eunt illi obviam, reditum gratulantur, salvum eum esse iubent, ad cenam vocant. At Stylius commoto similis, ‘Itane, Offuscate? ’ inquit. ‘Sed ludis me ludo meo. Iam non est quod tibi succenseam; ego quoque te olim ad eundem ludificatus sum modum.’ Quae cum ab eo dicerentur, Plusius Offuscato accedens, summisse, ‘O virum summum,’ aiebat, ‘atque praestantem! O singularem hominem ac prope divinum! ’ Sed post mutuas salutationes omnes simul sese Stylio comites addunt. Sed cum videt Plusius in via, ubi quisque Stylium aspiciat, ire eidem obviam ac venisse eum salvum gaudere, obstupescere, Offuscato latus fodere, et in aurem, ‘O virum maximum! ’ dicere. Offuscatus, id se moleste assimulans ferre, ‘Parce,’ inquit, ‘voci, nec me eas perditum.’ Tum Plusius, ‘Ne time. Egone,’ ait, ‘ut capitis hominem mihi amicissimum, et tali virtute praeditum, perdam? 358 Me satius est mori.’ Ne longum faciam: adeo Plusius haec sibi vera esse persuaserat, ut Croesi divitias cum thesauris sibi a Manibus commonstrandis non permutasset. 357 Cf. Ter. Eun. II.ii.241: “Simul consilium cum re amisti? ” 358 Plaut. Mil. II.iv.370-1: “ego stulta et mora multum / quae cum hoc insano fabuler, quem pol ego capitis / perdam.” 4 <?page no="324"?> Book Seven 325 of Janus when it’s time. I will be there with a flattened nail.’ 125 He had seen a very old copper nail in Aridus’s study, which, because it had certain letters and markings stamped on it, seemed particularly suitable for tricking Plusius, who was eager to experience magic. In the meantime, Offuscatus hurried to the home of Stylius, who had returned from his hometown the day before. Offuscatus told him about Plusius’s stupidity and explained how he wanted to play a trick on him. Between them they agreed that Stylius would show up in front of the Temple of Janus Quadrifrons at eleven o’clock that day dressed in leggings, as if he had just entered the city at that very moment. He would then scold Offuscatus for having had to drag himself to the city in under three hours. “Plusius arrived at Offuscatus’s house earlier than he had been ordered, and he urged and insisted that they get going, saying that he couldn’t wait to be able to dig up a room full of gold in an old tomb. They set off, and they arrived. Offuscatus drove the flattened nail in the ground inside the Temple of Janus Quadrifrons, in the right-hand corner to the left, using certain solemn words that he had just made up. Next, he hung a small piece of paper tied with yarn around Plusius’s neck, on which were written the letters PP, CC, and R. Listening to this tale, we asked Offuscatus what the letters stood for, and he said, ‘Plusius Perdidit Cerebrum Cum Re’ (Plusius has lost his mind together with his possessions). He instructed Plusius that, if he ever wanted to return home from the spirit world safely and with his head intact, he should never take the piece of paper off, but should let it hang around his neck forever like an amulet. Then they started walking. After they had traveled a long distance, Stylius appeared. Plusius saw him first and cheerfully cried out, ‘He’s here! ’ They went to meet him, congratulated him on his return, wished him well, and invited him to dinner. But Stylius, feigning agitation, said, ‘Offuscatus, are you playing the same joke on me that I played on you? I don’t have reason to be angry with you anymore, since I also teased you the same way once.’ While Stylius was speaking, Plusius approached Offuscatus and said quietly, ‘You great and outstanding man! You remarkable and well-nigh divine person! ’ After the men had greeted each other, Plusius and Offuscatus went to join Stylius. When Plusius noticed that whoever saw Stylius in the street would come up to him and express happiness that he had arrived safely, he was amazed. He jabbed Offuscatus in the side and said in his ear, ‘You’re the best! ’ Offuscatus, pretending to be annoyed, said, ‘Lower your voice, or you will ruin me.’ Then Plusius said, ‘Don’t be scared. Would I charge someone with a capital offense who is my dearest friend and gifted with such 125 Fixing nails (specifically the clavus annalis) into the walls of a temple was a ritualistic way of marking time, and clavum figere (“to drive a nail”) was a proverbial expression meaning that something was sealed by fate (Cornish 1898: 178). 4 <?page no="325"?> 326 Eudemia in Ten Books “Sed qua homo garrulitate est, non potuit se continere, quin rem totam amico cuidam suo aperiret, qui Stylium optime nosset eundemque pridie eius diei, quo Plusius haec a se visa narrabat, conspicatus fuisset. Atque ille continuo homini data esse verba intellexit, coepitque eum acriter obiurgare, quod id aetatis homo, eoque ingenii acumine praeditus, duobus adolescentibus se irridendum praebuisset, ac, si pergeret credere, prope esse ut ipsum lapidibus pueri insectarentur. Quod ubi audivit, adeo vehementer exarsit, ut propemodum ex ore flammas evomeret; ac sicam rapere, minitari absenti Offuscato seque vel medio eum in foro obtruncaturum asserere. Ego, ad eum placandum interpres datus, vix orsus eram loqui de conditionibus pacis, cum mihi orationem eripuit ac, ‘Tace,’ inquit. ‘Egone ut redeam cum illo in gratiam? Dii me perdant, si mihi erit amicus. Iam apud me tesseram fregit. 359 Abeat, quaerat alium quem ludat.’ Ego cum hanc viam obseptam viderem, coepi alia eum aggredi, ac, ‘Vide,’ inquam, ‘tua isthaec pertinacia te potius quam inimicum perdit. An nescis quantam tibi potationem, saturitatem et gaudium eripias? Nam promisit, si te sibi placarem, opiparam se tibi cenam hodie in qua velles popina daturum.’ Neque haec me ratio fefellit. Nam vix popinae cenaeque mentio iniecta est, cum homo alieni cupidus cibi, 360 et in primis popino, benigne gratiam fecit ne iratus esset, et quo vellem se descensurum spopondit. “Sed properandum est mihi ad Thaumantium bibliopolam, in cuius tabernam litterati fere omnes saepe conveniunt. Eo enim venturus dicitur insignis philosophus, quem vos non nostis; cui singulare ingenium, summa humanarum divinarumque rerum scientia, praeterea dicendi vis egregia ac memoria plane prodigiosa; Teratis cognomen invenit iamque ab omnibus Teras appellatur. Hic bibliopolis imperat, nec absque illius permissu aliquod scriptorum genus edi aut venale haberi aut importari in hanc urbem potest. Eo illum rogatum ut amico huic meo, quem videtis, insignis cuiusdam voluminis edendi potestatem faciat. Et quoniam taberna illa propius abest a portu, non arbitror a rationibus vestris alienum, vos illuc venire; quo, cum nuntiatum fuerit navim solvi, nihil in vobis sit morae.” 359 Cf. Plaut. Cist. II.vii.503: “hic apud nos iam, Alcesimarche, confregisti tesseram.” 360 Cf. Ter. Eun. II.ii.265: “Viden otium et cibus quid faciat alienus? ” 5 6 <?page no="326"?> Book Seven 327 virtue? I would rather die myself! ’ To make a long story short, Plusius had so convinced himself that these things were true, that he would not have traded the wealth of Croesus with the treasures that the Manes had shown him. “But Plusius was a gossip, and he could not stop himself from disclosing the whole matter to a certain friend of his who knew Stylius very well (this man had, in fact, seen Stylius the day before Plusius had come to tell him everything he had seen). This friend immediately realized that Plusius had been tricked, and he began to sternly chide him that a man his age, endowed with his sharp intellect, had allowed himself to be made a fool of by two young men. He said that, if Plusius continued to trust them, he would soon have boys chasing after him with rocks. When Plusius heard this, he became so enraged that he almost spit flames out of his mouth. He grabbed a dagger, threatened Offuscatus in absentia, and even claimed that he was going to kill him in the middle of the forum. I had been appointed as a go-between to placate him, and I had barely begun speaking to him about his conditions for a peace accord when he cut me off, saying, ‘Be quiet! I should go back to being on good terms with that man? May the gods destroy me if he is ever my friend again! Besides, he has already broken off our friendship. Let him go find someone else to deceive.’ When I saw that this avenue was closed to me, I began to approach him via a different route, saying, ‘Look, this stubbornness of yours is harming you rather than your enemy. Don’t you know how much drink, satiety, and happiness you are depriving yourself of? He promised that, if I reconciled you with him, he would throw you a sumptuous dinner today in whatever locale you wish.’ And my plan did not fail. I had barely mentioned the restaurant and dinner when that man, desirous of a meal on someone else’s dime (and, most of all, a glutton), did us the courtesy of ceasing his anger and promised to go where I wanted him to. “But I must hurry over to Thaumantius’s bookshop, the chief gathering place for scholars. They are saying that a famous philosopher is going there, whom you have not met. He has a remarkable mind, the firmest grasp of human and divine matters, an outstanding oratorical ability besides, and a clearly prodigious memory. He acquired the sobriquet Teras, which is what everyone calls him now. He oversees all the booksellers, and no type of literature can be published, sold, or imported into this city without his permission. 126 I am going to ask him if he will grant my friend, whom you see here, leave to publish a certain notable book. And since the shop is close to the port, I do not think it incongruous with 126 As Master of the Sacred Palace, the Vatican’s censor, Niccolò Riccardi had the authority not only to grant permission for books to be printed in Rome (imprimatur), but also over which books could be sold and owned (Misiti 1999: 33). 5 6 <?page no="327"?> 328 Eudemia in Ten Books Tum amicus ille, qui erat librum editurus, “Quoniam,” inquit, “Plusii mentio facta est, volo, si non sit odio, vobis exponere quemadmodum illi nuper a duobus sycophantis manus adita sit de pauculis aureis nummis, quos unicum egestatis suae praesidium ad extremos sibi casus reservaverat. Hi sycophantae, quos dixi, forma insignem puerum nacti, primum corporis obsequio sibi devinxerant, 361 tum quaestus sui gratia ad omnes sycophantias et dolos probe formaverant. Hunc in triviis atque plateis praeire iubebant; praeeuntem furtim ipsi subsequebantur. Puer, ita ut erat edoctus, ut quemquam offenderat quem de facie a puerorum concubitu non abhorrere existimaret, ita salvere eum iubebat rogabatque ut aliquem sibi ostenderet qui se in servitutem reciperet. Etenim, domi suae nobilem, patris saevitia eo redactum esse, ut patriam fugeret summaque cum inopia conflictaretur; et iam diem unum sine cibo agere. Ille tum misericordia, tum pueri specie captus, sequi se illum iubebat; ac simul ac cum eo domum intraverat, introrumpebant illi etiam. Quorum adventu puer, ut erat praeceptum, ligulas solvebat sibique vestimenta 362 ad pedes ire sinebat. Tum illi, clamore sublato, ‘Itane, aiebant, tu fratrem nostrum natu minimum ad nequitiam trahis? Evocate huc aliquis lictores, qui vinctum hunc ad tresviros trahant! ’ (Nam pueris liberis vim inferri 363 nefas hic grande habetur.) Alter vero, ‘Quid est opus,’ aiebat, ‘lictoribus? Egomet lictorum, ego iudicis, ego carnificis partes suscipiam et corruptorem hunc, ut par est, obtruncabo.’ Tum vicissim conversus ad puerum, patria quadam severitate, ‘Non te pudet,’ aiebat, ‘tam insignem generi nostro notam inurere? Cedo, quid te ad hanc turpitudinem adigit? Num fames? An non suppetit tibi domi nostrae affatim quod edas ac bibas? Abi domum, mastigia, nisi tibi dorsum virgis despoliavero, Iovem quaeso ut mihi sit semper iratus.’ At ille miser, inter sacrum et saxum positus, quo iudicium vel mortem effugeret, cogebatur se pecunia redimere. “Hoc rete capti sunt multi, sed unus in primis, ex insigni philosophorum familia, quem non est necesse nominare. Hic malacum pallium, 364 vestem lineam ac multos praeterea nummos aureos passus est sibi auferri, quo se tricis illis 361 Curt. X.I.25-6: “Bagoae spadoni, qui Alexandrum obsequio corporis devinxerat sibi, nullum honorem habuit.” 362 femoralia 1637 363 commisceri (instead of vim inferri) 1637 364 Plaut. Bacch. I.i.71: “pro lorica malacum capiam pallium.” See also Eud. 1998 Lib. VII, n. 9. 7 8 <?page no="328"?> Book Seven 329 your plans to go there; when you receive word that the ship is setting sail, you will not be late.” Then his friend, the one who was about to publish the book, said, “Now that you’ve mentioned Plusius, if it does not cause offense, I want to tell you how he was recently cheated by two tricksters out of a few gold coins, which he had saved as his only defense against poverty in the face of an extreme emergency. These tricksters I was telling you about enlisted a boy of outstanding beauty, bent him to their will through sex, and thoroughly trained him in every manner of deceit and trickery for their own enrichment. They ordered him to walk ahead of them in the streets and in the town squares, and they secretly followed close behind him as he walked ahead. As he had been instructed, the boy greeted every man he encountered whom he judged from appearances not to be averse to sleeping with boys. The boy would then ask the man to point him to someone who would take him into his service, saying that, though he was from a good family, he had been forced by his father’s cruelty to run away from home; that he was struggling under the greatest poverty; and that he had already gone a whole day without food. The man, taken both with pity and with the boy’s beauty, would then direct the boy to follow him and, as soon as they went into the house, the tricksters would break in as well. When they arrived, the boy would untie his shoes as he had been instructed and would let his clothes slip down around his feet. Then the tricksters would raise their voices, yelling, ‘Are you seducing our little brother into such wickedness? Somebody call the lictors! They will tie this man up and drag him in front of the tresviri! ’ (It is considered a great sin here to assault freeborn boys.) The other one would say, ‘Why do we need lictors? I will play the role of lictor, judge, and executioner, and I will kill this pervert myself, as he deserves! ’ Then, turning back toward the boy, and with a certain paternal severity, he would say, ‘Aren’t you ashamed to sully our family name with such a manifest stain? Tell me, what has driven you to this depravity? Was it hunger? Was there not enough for you to eat and drink at home? Go home, you scoundrel! May Jove always be angry with me if I do not strip the clothes off your back with switches! ’ The poor man, caught between a rock and a hard place, would be forced to pay a ransom in order to escape a trial or death. “Many men have become caught up in this net, but there is one in particular, from that preeminent sect of philosophers, whom I don’t need to name. 127 The man had to suffer his soft cloak, linen garments, and many gold coins besides, 127 This individual is not identified, but this vignette implies that entrapment was a risk that men (in this case a priest) ran when seeking out sexual encounters with other men, resulting in the person being vulnerable to blackmail. 7 8 <?page no="329"?> 330 Eudemia in Ten Books impeditum expediret. Alter vero, ceteroqui vir bonus ac prudens, sed pueri illecebris in hanc fraudem inductus, non solum coactus est in praesentia nummos dare, verum etiam sancte affirmare ut, nisi vellet indicari, quoties ab ipsis conspiceretur, quod de industria fiebat fere quotidie, toties senas se eisdem drachmas ad pedes proiecturum. Plusius igitur, qua est in his rebus cupiditate, (nam saepe a matre et ab uxore deprehensus in furto, 365 sandaliis est male multatus) tanquam famelicus piscis ex hac nassa cibum petitum accurrit. Quem illi eodem modo circumventum omni auro, quod habebat, dispoliarunt.” Inter haec ad Thaumantis 366 tabernam pervenimus. Ac multos ibi videmus dispositis in sellis sedere. Quos inter unus, corpore paululum obeso, magno capite, capillo flavo, ore rubicundo, versus nescio quos alteri, qui ipsi assidebat, recitabat. Fusco huic esse nomen aiebant, qui nuper Heroidarum quarundam epistolas, Ovidii ad exemplum, ediderat. Alii duo inter se de quodam adolescente, Pusillo Caesari nomine, tabe paulo ante consumpto, commemorabant. Quem ingenii magnitudine, rerum maximarum scientia atque omnis elegantia doctrinae cum altero nescio quo conferebant; qui itidem ad miraculum doctus cursum suum transcucurrerat et, paulo supra hanc aetatem, in ipso aetatis flore decesserat. Sedebat etiam inter eos Uranius quidam, cui summa ab omnibus pingendi laus tribuebatur ac praesertim artis delineandi primae omnium concessu deferebantur. Neque inter litteratos illos versabatur ut pictor, sed ut litteris praeditus. Nam eum esse astrologum, mathematicum, poëtam atque ingenii acumine et inventione non multis modo suorum aequalium, sed superioris etiam aetatis anteire constabat, quanquam ex invidentia nonnemo eius laudibus conaretur detrahere. Ad hunc allatae sunt ab Arido litterae, in quibus ille de Merlini cuiusdam senis iniuria querebatur, qui neque rogatus neque coactus, sed sponte sua acetum pro flore vini veteris miserat. Hunc esse aiebant senem odiosum, malum, molestum, avarum, contumeliosum, stercoreum, quique femoralia urina ac stercore imbuta quotidie domum ad uxorem referret. Has ille litteras clara voce atque distincta semel atque iterum legit. Quo factum est ut etiam ediscerem, ac ne exciderent, meum in codicem referrem: 365 in puero 1637 366 Note the change in the spelling of this bookseller’s name; above he is called Thaumantius, making the genitive form Thaumantii, whereas this form Thaumantis would be from a nominative Thaumas. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 10. A bookseller named Thaumas appears as one of the interlocutors in the first dialogue of Dialog. Sept., titled “Convivium villae Syrorum.” 9 <?page no="330"?> Book Seven 331 being stripped from him, in order to extricate himself after being caught in that trap. Another man, who was otherwise good and sensible, and had been drawn into this illicit encounter by the charms of the boy, was not only forced to hand over his money on the spot, but also had to promise, if he didn’t want to be exposed, to toss six drachma coins at the tricksters’ feet every time they saw him—which they made sure happened on almost a daily basis. Plusius, therefore, since his proclivities tended in this direction (his mother and his wife frequently caught him in the act and beat him soundly with their sandals), rushed to seek food from this trap like a starving fish. Deceiving him in this same way, the tricksters stripped him of all the gold he had.” While we were talking, we arrived at Thaumantius’s bookshop, where we saw many people sitting around on chairs. 128 One of them, who was slightly overweight and had a big head, blond hair, and a ruddy complexion, was reciting who-knows-what kind of verses to another man sitting next to him. They said that the man’s name was Fuscus and that he had recently published certain letters of the Heroides based on Ovid’s exemplar. 129 Two other men were reminiscing with each other about a certain young man, named Pusillus Caesar, who had died very recently from consumption. In terms of the magnitude of his intellect, his knowledge of the greatest subjects, and his refinement in each course of study, they were comparing him with another young man, who was likewise marvelously learned, had progressed quickly through his course of study, and had died when he was just a little bit older, in the very flower of his youth. A certain Uranius was also sitting among them, who was awarded the highest praise by everyone for his painting and was granted first place, by the consensus of all, especially in drawing. And he did not move in those circles of literary men solely by dint of his painting, but because he was gifted in letters. It was acknowledged that he was an astronomer, mathematician, and poet, and that he not only surpassed many of his contemporaries in terms of his keenness of wit and inventiveness, but many men from previous eras as well (although there were a few people who tried to detract from his praise because of a certain jealousy). Uranius received a letter from Aridus, in which he complained of a wrongdoing by a certain old man named Merlinus, who, without being asked or compelled, had sent him vinegar on purpose instead of aged wine with a bouquet. They said that he was a hateful, wicked, annoying, stingy, abusive, filthy old man, and that he returned home to his wife every day with his trousers soaked in urine and feces. Uranius read the letter out loud over and over, 128 Angela Nuovo (2013: 411) emphasizes the importance of the early modern bookshop as a gathering place for gentlemen, men of letters, and the nobility. 129 A reference to Antonio Bruni’s translation of Ovid’s Heroides titled Epistole Eroiche libri due (Milan, 1626, Rome, 1634, and various subsequent editions). 9 <?page no="331"?> 332 Eudemia in Ten Books “Pictorum lux alma, vale; cui carmina Phoebus dulcis et Uraniae nomina clara dedit. Ut modo Merlinus ludos me fecerit, audi, putidus ille, malus decrepitusque senex. Fit mihi Ianiculi supremo in vertice collis 5 obvius et tremula talia voce refert: ‘Est mihi, si nescis, vinum quod vincere nectar possit et aetherea ducere ab arce Iovem.’ Ac rogat, instat, clamat ne sua dona recusem, hauriam et e plenis limpida musta cadis. 10 Torrebat casu misere sitis aspera fauces, improbus immerito cum mihi verba dabat. Nullas necto moras, vacuam sed mitto lagenam, quam plenam larga reddidit ille manu. Toxica, crede mihi, non vina fuere; nec ullum 15 tetrius in terris arbitror esse merum. Namque, rato 367 vinum vacuis committere venis atque avidam sicco pellere ab ore sitim, horrendum subito talos it frigus ad imos, et prope, praecluso gutture, vita fugit. 20 Hoc tamen ipsa domus reficit se pallida potu Merlini, hunc dulci praeficit ambrosiae. Quaeris, tam frigido 368 cur gaudeat uxor aceto, et soror et famulus, filius atque nepos. Scilicet hoc miseri firmant munimine pectus, 25 367 putans 1637 368 rigido 1637, 1645. Mark T. Riley suggests this emendation to frigido. In the ancient world wine and vinegar were evaluated for medicinal purposes on a hot-cold scale, with wine being hot and vinegar being cold (Wilkins 2015: 279). 10 <?page no="332"?> Book Seven 333 in a clear and distinct voice, making it so that even I was able to memorize it. I recorded it in my notebook so I wouldn’t forget it: “Farewell, nourishing light of artists, to whom sweet Phoebus granted poems and on whom he bestowed Urania’s shining fame. Listen to how that rotten, evil, decrepit old man Merlinus recently mocked me. He ran into me at the top of Janiculum Hill and recounted the following in a trembling voice: ‘In case you are unaware, I have some wine that could surpass the nectar of the gods and draw Jove down from heaven above.’ He asks, insists, and calls upon me not to refuse his gift and to drink down the clear wine from his full wine jugs. When that shameless man said those words to me, harsh thirst happened to be desperately burning my throat. I do not delay but I send an empty bottle along with him, which he generously returns to me full. Believe me, it was poison, not wine, nor is there any fouler wine on earth. Having decided to entrust the wine to my empty veins, and banishing the insatiable thirst from my dry mouth, a dreadful cold immediately shot deep into my bones, my throat closed up, and I almost died. Nevertheless, his household restores itself with Merlinus’s insipid drink, giving it pride of place above sweet ambrosia. You ask why his wife, sister, servant, son, and nephew enjoy such cold vinegar. 130 Because, of course, it serves to fortify their stomachs so they don’t vomit their guts up as soon as Merlinus, caked in snot and stinking feces, carries his dire poison to their noses and stomachs.” 130 Cold vinegar was recommended as a cure for severe stomach disturbances (see e.g., Philosophical Transactions and Collections to the End of the Year 1719-1733, vol. 3. London: Royal Society of London, 1731-1756: 508-9). 10 <?page no="333"?> 334 Eudemia in Ten Books intestina gravi ne vomat ore foras, hic simul ac muccis et olenti stercore foedus, naribus et stomacho dira venena refert.” His lectis, risus est ab omnibus sublatus. Tum alter, “Audite,” inquit, “aliam comici ac stulti huius senis ineptiam, vel flagitium potius, supplicio dignum. Cum paucis ab hinc diebus in procoetone Bibuli dynastae una cum aliis multis versaretur, dum ad eum intromitteretur exspectans, lepida ac liberali forma 369 adolescentem aspexit. Hunc, relictis ceteris, petit, aggreditur; rogat quid rerum agat, ut valeat, ut crebro scortetur; nunc ei rei tempus esse. Admonet ut meminerit non semper eam sibi, quae nunc esset, aetatulam fore. Respondet adolescens se quidem a morbo valere, sed aegrum esse a crumena. Propterea scortum fere nullum attingere. ‘Hoc igitur,’ Merlinus ait, ‘te voluptate ista omnium maxima prohibet? Bono animo es; inveni quod ames; de reliquo meae erunt partes perficere tibi ne desit argentum. Ego quoque adolescens fui; scio quid sit rumpi tentigine 370 et nummis carere. Propterea aequior sum in adolescentes iudex.’ - ‘Cura,’ inquit adolescens, ‘ut sit quod dem. Nam arbitror me invenisse quod placeat. Est hic in proximo scortillum non illepidum, nec illiberale, ad quod animum iam pridem adieci. Sed negat illa facere mecum mutuum, cui ne teruncium quidem sciat esse, ipsi quod dem. Id tibi, si lubet, ubi erit otium, ostendam.’ - ‘Vel iam est otium,’ Merlinus ait. ‘Eamus. Gestio argentum quamprimum tibi depromere.’ “Eunt igitur una simul et ad domum cuiusdam meretricis perveniunt; pulsant fores. Meretrix aperit; intrant. Adolescens [coitum] 371 rogat, illa mercedem postulat, Merlinus spondet. Qui interea, dum puer scortum intus accumbit, pro foribus servat, et ex vetere crumena tres extrahit drachmas; quas deinde scorto persolvit. Eas mulier tristis accepit. Nam ex Merlini, locupletis hominis, liberalitate longe maiora exspectabat. Verum cum fere quotidie adolescens cum tribus ad eam drachmis accederet neque ulla mercedis accessio fieret, diutius dolorem dissimulare non potuit, ac “Me pol,” inquit, “ut video, diobolare scortum arbit- 369 Plaut. Mil. I.i.967: “lepida et liberali forma est.” 370 Hor. Sat. I.II.118: “malis tentigine rumpi.” 371 This word was removed from the 1645 edition. 11 12 <?page no="334"?> Book Seven 335 When he finished reading, everyone burst out laughing. Then another man said, “Listen to another example of this comic and silly old man’s foolishness, or rather, a disgraceful act worthy of punishment. While Merlinus was in Dynast Bibulus’s antechamber a few days ago—along with many other men who were waiting to be admitted in to see him—he caught sight of an attractive and well-bred young man. Taking his leave of everyone else, he sought this young man out, approached him, asked how he was, if he was well, and whether he often went whoring. He said that now was the time for that sort of pursuit, and he advised him to keep in mind that he would not always be as young as he was then. The young man responded that he himself was healthy but his purse was ailing, and because of that he was hardly able to touch a prostitute. Merlinus said, ‘This is what is keeping you from the greatest of all pleasures? Cheer up! Find an object of your affection. As for the rest, I will take it upon myself to ensure that you won’t lack the funds. I too was young once; I know what it’s like to be bursting with desire and not have the means to pay for it. Because of this I am quite a fair judge when it comes to young men.’ The young man replied, ‘Make sure I have something to offer, because I think I’ve found something to my liking. A young whore lives here next door, who is not unattractive and not unsuitable. I’ve had my heart set on her for a long time. But she says she won’t sell herself to me because she knows that I don’t have even one penny to give her. If you like, I will show her to you when you have the time.’ - ‘I am free now,’ said Merlinus. ‘Let’s go. I’m eager to get the money to you as soon as possible.’ “They set off together and arrived at the house of some prostitute. They knock on the door. The prostitute opens. They go in. The young man asks for sex, she demands payment, and Merlinus spots him the money. While the boy is bedding the whore inside, Merlinus stands guard at the door. He takes three drachmas out of his old purse and gives them to the whore as payment. The woman receives the money with disappointment, because she had much higher hopes for the generosity of the wealthy Merlinus. Yet when the young man came to her every day with three drachmas, without ever any increase in payment, she could no longer hide her indignation. She said to him, ‘As I see it, you must truly think me a two-bit whore, because you are paying me such a small amount. But now, young man, so you know my opinion, I am telling you that, unless you add three more drachmas to your daily amount, you won’t set foot in here anymore.’ 11 12 <?page no="335"?> 336 Eudemia in Ten Books ramini, quod tam parvo conducitis. Nunc autem, ut meam sententiam sciatis, tibi, adolescens, edico nisi ad quotidianas ternae alterae coaccedant 372 drachmae, huc pedem intro non feres.’ Tum Merlinus, stomachans, ‘Propudium populi, dic,’ inquit, ‘quantum temporis isthaec tibi opera praeripit, adolescentulo quam locas? Sane adeo est pauxillulum, vix ut queat aestimari pecunia, ne dum male drachmis tribus compensatum queraris. Tanquam si ignorem eandem te operam nummo solere aliis addicere, vel si sit cara meretricum annona! Nil hodie est vilius. Alio igitur ibimus, eoque lucrum istud, quod negligis, transferetur; tu vero egebis.’” Nemo fuit ex eo conventu, qui hanc olidi et capularis senis in filiosfamilias sub patre parco et duro liberalitatem et misericordiam cum risu non audiret. Sed cum unus effusiores ceteris cachinnos extolleret, iniecit aliis curam quaerendi quid esset quod rideret. Qui rogatus, “Famulus ille,” inquit, “qui ab Arido litteras attulit, revocavit mihi in memoriam ridiculum eius facinus, quo non facile quidquam dixerim me legisse vel audivisse iucundius. Quo tempore vafer ille Rufo tabellioni, qui postea decoxit, navabat operam famulus, drachmas ab eo denas in dies singulos accipiebat, quibus obsonaret. Sed cum die quodam cum drachmis decem obsonatum, ut consueverat, isset, vidit in medio foro hominem qui praetoris permissu plenam sortibus urnam habebat. Cui qui Fortunam experiri cuperet, tres drachmas numerabat et sortem unam educebat. Itaque magna eum cupido incessit Fortunae periclitandae atque drachmis tribus ex iis, quibus domino emere obsonium debebat, persolutis Fortunam invocat. At fit ut sortem beneficiariam educat; quae videlicet pollubrum illi argenteum cum gutto dabat, minis decem aestimatum. At ille, pollubro guttoque relicto, minas pro eis novem accepit. Nam cui pecunia quam sors magis placebat, eius pretium decuma detracta persolvebatur. Precio igitur accepto, reliquum nummorum, quibus emere obsonium debebat, in proxima popina profudit neque domum redire curavit. “Rufus, cum multas horas exspectasset, et iam meridies appeteret neque ille appareret, iratus, quod impranso ille sibi dies esset transigendus, mandat lictoribus ut inventum eum abripiant et in carcerem abstrahant. At ille ex pecunia quam ex sorte redegerat, preciosas sibi vestes a chorago conducit ac circumpedes duos, varia indutos veste, 373 sequi se iubet atque ita ornatus basilice 372 Plaut. Curc. II.iii.344: “et pro is decem coaccedunt / minae.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 12. 373 varia veste: defined in a footnote to Ter. Eun. IV.iv.683 (Plautus and Riley 1909: 107) as “party-colored clothes” (i.e., variegated) with the note that “it was the custom to dress Eunuchs in party-colored clothes of bright hue.” 13 14 <?page no="336"?> Book Seven 337 Merlinus became angry and said, ‘Tell me, you dregs of society, how much time does it take to perform the service you are selling yourself to that young man for? Surely it takes so little time that it can hardly be measured with money. You can’t complain that three drachmas constitutes poor compensation. As if I didn’t know that you usually sell these same services to others for one penny, or as if the market for whores was expensive. In fact, nothing is cheaper nowadays. We’ll go elsewhere and transfer the money you don’t want over there. You’ll be the one losing out.’” There was nobody in that gathering who did not hear, without laughing, about the generosity and compassion of that smelly old man, with one foot in the grave, toward that son of a miserly and hard-hearted father. Since one man was laughing more effusively than the others, this inspired the others to ask him what was so funny. When asked he said, “The servant carrying the letter from Aridus has reminded me of an absurd misdeed of his, which I can easily say is the most delightful thing I have ever read or heard. At the time when that schemer was engaged in service to Rufus the clerk (who later went bankrupt), he received ten drachmas a day from him for shopping expenses. But one day, while he was heading to the shops with his ten drachmas, as was his wont, he saw a man in the middle of the forum who, with the praetor’s permission, had an urn full of lottery tickets. Whoever wanted to try his luck would pay this man three drachmas to draw a ticket. The servant was seized with an enormous desire to try his luck, and he tested his fortune by spending three drachmas from the amount that his master had given him for the household errands. As it happened, he drew a winning ticket, one that got him a silver basin and jug that was valued at ten minae. He turned down the basin and jug, taking nine minae in cash instead (if you opt to take cash over your lottery prize you receive the value of the prize, minus one tenth). After he had received his money, he spent the remainder of the coins, which had been for the household shopping, in the tavern next door, not concerning himself with going home. “Because he had been waiting many hours, and because it was already close to noon and his servant had not appeared, Rufus was angry since he was having to pass the day with no lunch. He ordered his lictors to find and seize his servant and drag him off to jail. From the money the servant had received from the lottery, he rented expensive clothing for himself from a costume designer and commanded two servants to follow him dressed in colorful clothing. Decked out in this regal and magnificent manner, he took himself to Rufus’s chambers. But Rufus immediately saw through, recognized, and identified him, and he got up and rushed straight at him. The servant strode toward Rufus at the same pace, came right up to him, and bid him good day. When the servant was asked 13 14 <?page no="337"?> 338 Eudemia in Ten Books magnificeque ante officium Rufi se infert. Sed simul aspectus et cognitus est, Rufoque demonstratus. Qui surgens, recte ad eum properat. Ille contra pariter fert gradum, confert pedem ac salvere Rufum iubet. A quo interrogatus quid illud ornati esset, respondet ab homine sibi propinquo haereditatem, ad talenta videlicet quadraginta magna, obvenisse. Itaque pro re nitorem sumere, et gloriam pro copia. “Rufus, cuius res tendere ad ruinam coeperant, in spem Fortunae melioris erectus, tacitus intra se, ‘Dii,’ inquit, ‘me respiciunt, si vera hic memorat. Sed oportet ita esse. Nam quid illi veniat in mentem hoc fingere, ubi nihil est lucri me fallere? ’ Quamobrem credit, novas spes sumit. Nec iam facit convicium ut servo, sed habet honorem ut domino. It illi comes exterior 374 in via. Domi suae hospitium praebet et, quoniam preciosa ipsi supellex nulla erat, stragulam vestem sericam et conopeum item sericum non parva mercede conducit. At ubi blanditiis atque muneribus satis eum delinitum putat, talenta quatuor poscit mutua; quae propediem eidem se numeraturum promittit. Homo liberalissimus, ‘Quid ais,’ inquit, ‘quatuor? Decem roga. Nam gestio promittere; quae cum tibi erit commodum reddes.’ Rufus, ex laetitia vix sui compos, laetari ac diis gratias agere, quod rebus suis desperatis ac perditis tam praesens auxilium obtulissent. “Et quo magis obnoxium sibi hominem redderet ac de decem talentis fidem servare compelleret, argentum faenori sumit, quinquaginta videlicet minas; ex eisque ornat ample magnificeque convivium. Dynastam Euganeum, 375 tunc temporis, opibus et gratia florentem, cuius patrocinio se tuebatur, ad cenam vocat. Convivales ludos exhibet. Comoedos qui mimum agant, adducit. Licebat nebulonem illum cernere dynastae amplissimo proximum accumbere, assidere, crebro aliquid in aurem dicere, tanquam si esset par illi splendore, dignitate, potentia. Ea pecuniae vis inest. Quid verbis opus est? Minus quinque diebus quinquaginta illae minae dilapsae sunt totae. At nugator ille, cum aliquot iam dies ad Rufi mensam uberem ac plenam sua ex sententia se saburrasset, celocem 376 alio direxit et die quodam a prandio satur abiit e domo. Vesper adest; non redit. Unus, alter, tertius dies abit; nihilo magis. Rufus, qui iam explorata ac domi condita decem illa talenta sibi esse existimabat, neque uno nummo passus esset a se auferri, si quis emptor venisset, 377 animum prorsus abicere, conqueri ac 374 Hor. Sat. II.V.16-7: “ne tamen illi / tu comes exterior, si postulet, ire recuses.” 375 Eugenium 1637, 1645 376 Cf. Plaut. Pseud. V.ii.1306: “unde onustam celocem agere te praedicem? ” 377 Plaut. Men. V.ix.1160: “venibit … uxor quoque etiam, si quis emptor venerit.” I am assuming that the buyer in this context is a “bonorum emptor,” someone who purchases the debt of another (Berger 1953). 15 16 <?page no="338"?> Book Seven 339 to explain his getup, he responded that he had received an inheritance from a relative—a substantial one of around forty talents, to be precise—and therefore he was accruing dignity to himself on account of both the windfall itself and the distinction of the amount. “Rufus, whose estate had begun falling into ruin, was roused by hope of better fortune and said to himself quietly, ‘If this man is telling the truth, the gods are looking out for me. But it must be true, otherwise why would it occur to him to make all this up when he has nothing to gain by deceiving me? ’ So he believed it and adopted new hope. He no longer reprimanded the man as a servant but treated him instead with honor as if he were his master. Rufus walked on his left side in the street, 131 put him up at his house, and, since he didn’t have any expensive furnishings, rented him an embroidered silk bedspread and a silk canopy at very great expense. When Rufus thought he had sufficiently buttered the man up with flattery and gifts, he asked to borrow four talents, which he promised to pay back soon. The very generous man said, ‘Why four? Ask for ten! I am happy to lend you the money, and you can pay me back whenever it’s convenient.’ Barely containing himself with happiness, Rufus rejoiced and gave thanks to the gods for bringing such prompt aid to his hopeless and ruinous estate. “In order to render the man more favorable toward him, and to make him keep his promise regarding the ten talents, Rufus took out a loan in the amount of fifty minae, with which he put on an ample and magnificent feast. He invited Dynast Euganeus to dinner, who at that time was prospering in wealth and influence, and under whose patronage he received protection. He put on festive games and brought in comic actors to perform mimes. That scoundrel could be observed dining next to, and sitting by, that most eminent Dynast Euganeus and often whispering in his ear, as if he were his equal in splendor, dignity, and influence. Such is the power of money. Need I say it? Rufus squandered the entirety of those fifty minae in less than five days. When that joker had, for some days now, stuffed himself to his heart’s content at Rufus’s full and abundant table, he steered his belly elsewhere, and on a certain day, stuffed from lunch, he departed the house. Evening came and the servant still didn’t return. First one, then two, then three days passed; still nothing. Rufus—who was convinced that his ten talents had already been surveyed and securely locked up at home 131 Walking on someone’s left side “refers to the position of the sycophant or legacy-hunter, as protecting the rich individual, who in this sense is interior; and the left side was the one protected or guarded on such occasions, because it was considered the weaker of the two, and was also more exposed to injury or attack” (Horace, Anthon, and Boyd 1837: 412 n. 17). 15 16 <?page no="339"?> 340 Eudemia in Ten Books lamentari fortunas suas; sua sibi stultitia, quia hominem non asservasset, decem talenta fuisse erepta dicere. “Sed octavum post diem, cum in officio suo testium quorundam iuratorum dicta exciperet, ecce tibi homo solus, pannosus ac sordidus adest. Agnoscitur ac Rufo in interrogandis testibus occupato statim ostenditur. Qui, relictis rebus omnibus, desilit ex scamno atque hominem rogat ubi sint circumpedes varia veste induti, ubi preciosa femoralia, ubi sericum amiculum. Ea ille chorago, qui locaverat, ut par erat, reddidisse respondit. Et simul de pecunia, quae ex beneficiaria ipsi sorte obvenerat, otiose ac lente narravit. Nunc vero redire, ut solita mercede suas ipsi operas locet. ‘Falsa sunt igitur,’ inquit Rufus, ‘quae de quadraginta talentis, ex propinqui morte ad te perventis, commemorasti? ’ - ‘Tam vera sunt,’ inquit nugator, ‘quam verum est solem media nocte lucere, vel mortuos vivere.’ - ‘Cur igitur,’ Rufus ait, ‘simulasti? ’ - ‘Quia,’ inquit, ‘volui per hanc rationem experiri qualis sit vita nobilium ac beatorum. Atque equidem suavem ac iucundam eam esse comperio. Vah! Quantum inest in ea boni! Divitem me esse natum oportuit. Nam scirem bene esse atque animo obsequi.’ 378 Rufus iratus homini in os involat ac plus quingentos colaphos ac pugnos infregit. At ille pulsanti os ultro obiecit. Sed postquam Rufum clamando verberandoque ad languorem datum videt, ‘Age,’ inquit, ‘omittamus nugas; quin iubes me domum ire, quaeque opus sunt mihi depromi, tibi ut sit paratum prandium? ’ Rufus, sentiens dum eum ferit, plus sibi nocere, destitit ac, ‘Qui verberat,’ inquit, ‘lapidem, perdit manum.’ 379 Tum placatior eidem factus, claves tradit et nummos, quibus obsonatum eat.” Delectati sunt omnes mirum in modum hoc hominis facto; atque eum nugatorem lepidum et sycophantam graphicum statuerunt esse. Iam omnes conticuerant, cum pictor Uranius, “Quoniam,” inquit, “cecidit mihi peropportune ut in hunc eruditorum hominum conventum venirem, legam vobis, si placet, Phalaecium breve carmen Bibuli, magni Liberi Patris antistitis, iussu a me nuper effectum, quo columba, quae fuerat homini in deliciis, in eius osculis et amplexibus mortua laudatur.” Cumque omnes se non nolle dixissent, “Sub haec,” inquit, 378 Ter. Ad. I.I.30-1: “Uxor … aut te amare cogitat / aut tete amari aut potare atque animo obsequi / et tibi bene esse soli.” 379 Plaut. Curc. I.iii.197: “noli, amabo, verberare lapidem, ne perdas manum.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 13. 17 18 <?page no="340"?> Book Seven 341 (and who rejected the notion outright that he be deprived of a single penny if a buyer appeared to purchase his debt)—now complained and lamented his bad luck, saying that it was because of his own stupidity that the ten talents had been snatched away, since he had not kept a close eye on the man. “After a week had passed, while Rufus was taking the statements of some witnesses under oath in his chambers, the servant appeared alone, tattered, and filthy. Someone recognized him and immediately pointed him out to Rufus, who was occupied with questioning witnesses. Dropping everything else, Rufus came down from his bench and asked the man where his colorfully dressed entourage was and where his expensive trousers and silk cloak had gone to. The man responded that he had given them back (as was proper) to the costume designer who had rented them to him. At the same time he calmly and slowly told Rufus about his windfall from the lottery. He said that he was back now and could hire out his services at his usual rate. Rufus said, ‘So, what you said about the forty talents coming to you from the death of a relative, that was a lie? ’ The joker said, ‘It is as true as if the sun shone at midnight or if the dead were alive.’ - ‘Why did you pretend? ’ asked Rufus. The servant responded, ‘Because it was a way for me to experience what life is like for the noble and fortunate. I have indeed discovered that it is agreeable and pleasant. My, how much good there is in it! I should have been born rich. I would certainly know how to enjoy myself and have fun! ’ Furious, Rufus flew at the man’s face and struck him with more than fifty blows and punches. But the servant, of his own accord, offered his face to the man who was hitting him. After he saw that Rufus had succumbed to fatigue with yelling and beating, he said, ‘Come now, let’s put aside these trifles. Why don’t you order me back to the house and have me set out the things I need to prepare your lunch? ’ Sensing that he was doing more harm to himself by beating his servant, Rufus stood down and said, ‘He who beats a stone, loses his hand.’ At that point, he became more kindly disposed toward his servant and handed him the keys along with some money to go shopping with.” Everyone was marvelously delighted by the servant’s deed, and they concluded that the man was an amusing storyteller and a skilled fabulist. Everyone had already fallen silent when Uranius the painter said, “Since it has very opportunely come to pass that I should come before this gathering of learned men, if it pleases you, I shall read you a brief Phalaecian poem I composed at the behest of Bibulus, high priest of Father Liber. It praises a dove that the man loved and that died as a consequence of his kisses and embraces.” Since everyone said they were not averse to him reading it, he said, “I will read the poem on the following condition, that if it falters in any way, you tell me, or, better yet, you correct it. It is supposed to be carved on a marble plaque, in large letters, and affixed on a wall together with other epitaphs that can be seen there: 17 18 <?page no="341"?> 342 Eudemia in Ten Books “conditione legam, ut, si quid in eo titubatum fuerit, indicetis, vel corrigatis potius. Debet enim grandibus litteris marmorea in tabula incidi ac parieti, una cum aliis epitaphiis quae ibi cernuntur, affigi: “O factum male 380 nequiterque, saeva mors, quae quidquid adest ubique amoenum pulchrumque, ore petit voraciore. Caram sic rapuit mihi columbam, olim ut pessima Lesbiae Catulli 5 dulcem passerem ademit et nitentes infecit lacrimis genas misellis. Heu, quo me dolor abripit gementem? Et quid facta queror rapacis Orci? Non ille id voluit nefas, nec ipsam 10 Ditis regna tenent tenebricosa; verum pulchra Venus suo venustam gaudet nunc dare currui columbam.” 381 Conclamatum est, “Pulchre, recte, bene! ” Tum rogatus est quidam, cui multae (ut dicebatur) inerant facetiae multusque in iocando lepos, cuique cor erat acre aceto, 382 ut lacessitus non ferret iniuriam; rogatus est, inquam, ut carmen recitaret quod in Tigellum decoctorem scripserat. “Recitabo,” inquit ille, “modo vobis molestus ne sim.” - “Nobis,” inquiunt, “qui te id ipsum rogavimus? ” Tum ille, “Ultus sum,” inquit, “hoc carmine exsecrandam pessimi illius decoctoris avaritiam, qui creditores suos, ut nostis, ex creditoribus Hercules fecit. 383 Nam decumam eis partem dedit, sibi novem abstulit; atque pecuniis undique ereptis confertus, recusavit una cum aliis vicinis suis pauculos ad comoediam coemendam nummos conferre: 380 Catull. III.16: “O factum male! O miselle passer! ” 381 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 15) refers to: Ov. Met. XIV 597-8: “[Venus] perque leves auras iunctis invecta columbis / litus adit Laurens”; Claud. Cons. Stil. II.354: “Venus hic invecta columbis.” 382 Plaut. Bacch. III.iii.405: “nunc experiar sitne aceto tibi cor acre in pectore.” 383 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 16) refers to: Macrob. Sat. III.12.2: “Testatur etiam Terentius Varro in ea satura, quae inscribitur Περὶ κεραυνοῦ maiores solitos decimam Herculi vovere”; Varro, Ling. VI.54. 19 20 <?page no="342"?> Book Seven 343 “O, evil and wicked deed! Cruel death seeks out, with its all-devouring maw, anything anywhere that is pleasant and beautiful. It snatched my beautiful dove from me, like it once most wickedly carried off the sweet sparrow from Catullus’s Lesbia and spoiled her bright cheeks with wretched tears. Alas, where has my pain transported me as I grieve? And why do I protest the deeds of rapacious Orcus? He is not the one who ordered that crime. It is not the dark realms of Dis that hold her but lovely Venus, who now rejoices in yoking my beautiful dove to her own chariot.” Everyone cheered, “Splendid! Excellent! Well done! ” Then a certain person was asked—a person who, they said, was extremely witty, a very funny jokester with a mind as sharp as vinegar such that he would not bear any indignity if attacked—he was asked, as I said, to recite a poem he had written against that bankrupt Tigellus. 132 “I will only recite it,” he said, “if it doesn’t cause you annoyance.” They replied, “To us? We are the ones who asked you to recite it.” He said, “I got revenge on the detestable greed of that horrible bankrupt Tigellus with this song. He treated his creditors like Hercules treated his own, as you know. 133 He gave them a tenth part, took nine for himself, and, flush with the money he had taken from all quarters, he refused to contribute, along with his other neighbors, even a few coins toward the performance of a comic play: 132 The first-century CE lyric poet Tigellus flourished during the time of Julius Caesar and most famously appears in the first book of Hor. Sat. (I.II, I.III, I.IV, I.X). 133 A reference to the practice of tithing to Hercules. 19 20 <?page no="343"?> 344 Eudemia in Ten Books “Cum binos scenae nummos conferre Tigellus difficili vultu saevitiaque negat, miraris, tam parcus homo, sic 384 turpiter olim naufragus ad Ianum fregerit unde ratem? 385 Erras; nil passus damni est, sed maxima falso 5 sub decoctoris nomine furta facit. Nam cui debebat centum sextertia, dixit: ‘Vel te suspendas, vel tibi sume decem! ’ Nec tamen est ausus quisquam mutire; sed ultro illius in leges creditor omnis abit. 10 Quid facias, strictus supra si pendeat ensis? Victori supplex non dabis ipse manus? Nonne facis lucri, quidquid tibi latro relinquit? Ipsam demum animam non sua dona putas? Non tam civis erat nobis, sed latro Tigellus; 15 quae non surripuit, dona fuisse putat.” Vix postremam horum versuum syllabam recitaverat, cum unus intervenit, qui, “Venio,” inquit, “a foro, ubi Coschini iudicis prudentiam, iustitiam aequitatemque supra modum sum admiratus. Etenim illi eius iudicio de re privata interfui; quo nec gravius, neque severius, neque aequius ullum Rhadamas vel Minos ipse fecisset.” Neque exspectavit dum rogaretur, sed, attentis omnium animis, sic orsus est 386 : “Mulier vidua minas septuaginta exegerat, quas vicino cuidam suo, in mercimoniis quibusdam coemendis occupato, multis ab eo precibus rogata, mutuas dederat; quas ille quartum post mensem se eidem remuneraturum promiserat et syngrapham scripserat, qua mulieri, ut affirmabat, cautum erat. Verum cum eius pecuniae dies non advenisset solum, sed multos iam dies praeteriisset, neque pecuniae reddendae mentionem plus faceret, quam si nunquam 384 cur 1637, 1645. The emendation to sic is from the corrigenda in 1645. 385 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 17) refers to Hor. Sat. II.III.18-20: “postquam omnis res mea Ianum / ad medium fracta est, aliena negotia curo, / excussus propriis.” 386 The story about the widow that follows appears, almost word for word, as Exemplum CXLV (titled “Aequissimum prudentissimumque optimi ac sapientissimi iudicis iudicium”) in Rossi’s work Exempla virtutum et vitiorum. In the exemplum, the beginning of the prayer to the Blessed Virgin (salutatio Beatae Virginis), Salve Regina, is used instead of the Carmen saeculare. 21 22 <?page no="344"?> Book Seven 345 “When Tigellus, with harshness and a surly look, refuses to contribute two nummi for the play, do you wonder that such a stingy man, as a castaway, once crashed his boat against Janus Gate? You are wrong! He did not suffer any loss but committed huge crimes using his bankruptcy as a cover. To the person he owed one hundred thousand sesterces to, he said, ‘Either go hang yourself or accept ten! ’ And nobody dared utter a word, but every creditor left after willingly agreeing to his terms. What would you do if you had a sword hanging over your head? Would you yourself, begging for mercy, not surrender to the victor? Is whatever the thief leaves you with not a gain? Don’t you think that, in the end, even your life is his gift? Tigellus was not so much a fellow citizen as a bandit, and he considered whatever he didn’t steal from you to be a gift.” He had barely recited the final syllable of his verses when someone intervened, saying, “I am just coming from the forum where I was greatly astonished at the wisdom, justice, and fairness of judge Coschinus. Indeed, I was present at his ruling regarding a matter of private law. Neither Rhadamas nor Minos himself could have made a ruling that was more serious, grave, or fair than his.” He did not wait to be asked but, having gotten everyone’s attention, he began: “A widow was demanding payment of seventy minae that she had loaned, after much pleading on his part, to a neighbor of hers who was involved in purchasing certain merchandise. The neighbor had promised to pay her the money back after four months, and he had signed a contract by which, as she was attesting, he stipulated to this in writing. However, not only did the day come and go when he should have paid back the money, but many more days went by without his making any further mention of it, as if he had never received it. The woman started demanding her money back, but he put her off day after day, saying, ‘I will give it to you soon. In a little bit. Come back tomorrow. I don’t have time right now.’ When the woman saw that she kept being strung along further, she approached the man and said, ‘Since you are playing games with me, I will claim the money you owe me via the law and a court ruling.’ Angered, he then 21 22 <?page no="345"?> 346 Eudemia in Ten Books accepisset; coepit eam mulier efflagitare. Ille, ‘Dabo mox. Post paulo. Redito cras. Nunc non est otium’ dicere, ac diem ex die ducere. 387 At ubi se mulier duci diutius videt, hominem aggreditur et, ‘Quoniam a te ludibrio,’ inquit, ‘habeor, pecuniam creditam lege iudicioque reposcam.’ Tum ille iratus, ‘Age,’ inquit, ‘ut lubet; nihil a me tibi debetur.’ Itaque mulier curriculo in cuiusdam tabellionis officium venit, ubi scribae aderant plures. Quorum uni rem narrat et syngrapham tradit. Qua ille perlecta, risus effudit ac mulierem iubet eam sociis ostendere. Qui effusissimos item cachinnos edidere. Quod mulier admirans, ‘Quid,’ inquit, ‘isti sibi volunt? Quid rident? Atqui, si sedes et quasi regio ridiculi deformitas est, non adeo turpem me agnosco, ut rideri debeam.’ 388 Ad pauca ut redeam: ad tabellionem mittitur. Qui, re perspecta, mulierem fuisse deceptam intellexit. ‘Atqui noli,’ inquit, ‘mirari, si rideris. Tibi enim os sublitum est pulchre. Nam infitiator ille qui syngrapham scripsit, nihil in eam intulit, nisi Saeculare carmen Horatii: “Dianam tenerae dicite virgines.”’ Tum mulier flere, lamentari, deum atque hominum fidem implorare. At tabellio, ‘Parce,’ inquit, ‘fletibus. Potius Coschinum iudicem adi, qui pro sua auctoritate atque sapientia aliquid inveniet, quo nebulonis istius fraus detegatur.’ “Mulier exanimata accurrit et ad domum iudicis venit, commodum cum ille, litigatoribus a praecone dimissis, e tribunali descenderet. Accedit, iniuriam sibi factam expostulat; narrat quemadmodum ab infitiatore illo pecunia dotali sit eversa, quam illi mutuam dederat, ut mercimonium ex ea coemeret; genus etiam mercimonii, in quo collocata fuisset, exponit; syngrapham affert, quam deceptor ille cautionis loco conscripserat. Iudex, re cognita, mulierem ludos esse factam 389 pro certo existimavit; ac sane commotus bonum eam animum habere iubet, et in proximum cubiculum tantisper secedere, dum ludificatorem illum ad sese arcessat. Mittit igitur qui eum vocent. Venientem humaniter excipit, seducit. Rogat quid rerum agat, ut valeat. Ut merces, quam proxime coemerat, lucro eum affecisset, interrogat. Qui non male sibi negotium sub manus successisse respondit. Rogat rursum num mutuum eam ad rem sumptum mulieri reddiddisset? Respondit ille se quidem mulierem nosse, sed neque illi, neque mortalium cuiquam nummum ullum debere. Tum iudex, prolata in medium syngrapha, quaesivit num chirographum suum agnosceret. Non est ausus negare, sed, ‘Quonam,’ inquit, ‘hoc spectat? ’ - ‘Eo,’ ait iudex, ‘ut minas septuaginta statim dissolvas. Nam si cuivis alteri tecum res esset, eundem paterer legis praescripto atque ordine agere, teque iudicio non antea damnarem quam legitima omnia conficerentur. Sed quoniam cum Diana et Apolline omnis tecum res est, pedem ex hoc cubiculo 387 Cf. Caes. BGall. I.16: “Diem ex die ducere Aedui.” 388 Cic. De or. II.LVIII.236: “Locus autem, et regio quasi ridicule … turpitudine et deformitate quadam continetur.” 389 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 19) refers to Plaut. Capt. III.iv.579: “Nunc iste te ludos facit.” 23 <?page no="346"?> Book Seven 347 said, ‘Go right ahead, I owe you nothing.’ So the woman hurried at full speed to the offices of some law clerk where many scribes were working. She related her case to one of them and showed him the contract. After reading it he burst out laughing and told the woman to show it to his colleagues, who also burst out laughing. Seeing this, the woman said, ‘What do they mean? Why are they laughing? In any case, if the seat and domain, so to speak, of the laughable is ugliness, I don’t see that I am so repulsive as to be laughed at.’ To make a long story short, she was sent in to see the clerk. After examining her case he realized that the woman had been had. ‘Don’t be surprised that you are being laughed at. You have been mightily deceived! That debtor who gave you that promissory note only wrote down that verse from Horace’s Carmen saeculare: “Sing, young maidens, of Diana.”’ 134 At which point the woman cried, wailed, and implored the faith of gods and men. But the clerk said, ‘Stop crying and go before judge Coschinus instead. He has the authority and wisdom to find a solution that will expose that scoundrel’s fraud.’ “The woman hurried away and arrived, out of breath, at the judge’s house just as the court crier had dismissed the litigants and he was descending from the bench. She approached him, complained about the wrong done to her, explained how she had been cleaned out of her dowry by that debtor to whom she had given a loan for purchasing merchandise. She also showed him the purchases that the money had been used for, and she produced the promissory note that the fraudster had signed by way of security. After examining the case, the judge assessed that the woman had most certainly been duped. Truly moved, he told her not to worry and to withdraw for the time being into the next room, while he summoned before him the man who had defrauded her. Accordingly, he sent people to call him. When the man arrived, the judge received him cordially, took him aside, and asked him how he was and if he was well, and he inquired whether he had made a profit off of the merchandise he had recently purchased. The man confirmed that the business dealings had turned out well in his hands. The judge then asked him whether he had repaid the loan he had taken out for that purpose. The man responded that he did indeed know the woman, but that he did not owe a penny either to her or to anyone else. The judge then produced the promissory note and asked whether the man recognized his signature. The man did not dare deny it but instead asked, ‘What does that pertain to? ’ The judge replied, ‘To you repaying seventy minae immediately. If anyone else had 134 This is not actually from the Carmen saeculare but is instead the first verse of Hor. Carm. I.21.1: “Dianam tenerae dicite virgines.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 18. 23 <?page no="347"?> 348 Eudemia in Ten Books non feres, nisi eisdem quod satis sit facias.’ Sed cum ille clamaret seque iniquo iudicio opprimi 390 diceret, iudex, ‘Evocate,’ inquit, ‘aliquis lictores, qui vinctum hunc abstrahant et sanctiorem in carcerem condant. Atque una opera raedae equos adiungite; nam mihi rex sacrorum adeundus est ac de improbissimo istius furto docendus.’ Tum ille, vinculorum metu adductus et simul veritus iram regis, si tam insignis fraus illustraretur, multis cum precibus impetravit a iudice ut liceret sibi mulieri satisfacere ac, missis qui pecuniam afferrent, eandem, cui debebatur, enumeravit.” Haec cum dixisset, quidam ex eo conventu petiit alte suspirium atque, 391 “Utinam,” inquit, “talem ego iudicem sortitus essem. Non equidem in optima mea causa iudicis iniquissimi sententia succubuissem. Erat mihi lis et controversia cum quodam Laurente de mutuo. Datus est mihi iudex a praetore Cratinus, iudex nequam ac levis; iussusque ut, si pareret, Laurentem mutuam a me pecuniam accepisse, nec restitueret, condemnaret eum. Planum facio testibus, me eidem pecuniam enumeravisse; chirographum etiam illius ostendo. Iudex, rem sibi compertam esse ac meridiana luce clariorem fatetur. Verum opere me orat maximo ut ipsum mihi iniquum eiurem. Cui ego, ‘Quid ais? ’ inquam. ‘Iniquum mihi illum eiurem, quem mecum sentire videam? Non edepol faciam.’ At ille, ‘Ita dico quidem,’ 392 ait. ‘Tu age ut lubet.’ Ego sine metu ac sine cura esse. Quid enim dubitarem? Res erat facilis; faciebant omnia mecum: ius, aequitas, iudicis voluntas, cum ex improviso nuntiatur pronuntiasse iudicem nihil mihi a Laurente deberi. Accurro; rogo cur tam iniquam adversus me sententiam dixerit, quem toties in hac causa superiorem esse affirmasset. Audite hominis impudentiam: ‘Iure tibi,’ inquit, ‘hoc accidit. Quoties edixi ut me tibi iniquum eiurares? Erras, si credis velle me res meas florentes affligere, ut iacentes tuas extollam.’ At postea comperi ex iis, qui fuere conscii, ea me iniquitate onerasse ut ab homine potentissimo gratiam iniret, qui maiorem ipsi in modum adversarii mei causam commendasset.” 390 Cic. Quinct. II.II.8: “quo is facilius, quem velit, iniquo iudicio opprimere possit.” 391 Plaut. Cist. I.i.55-6: “hoc sis vide, ut petivit / suspiritum alte.” 392 Plaut. Poen. II.ii.474: “ita dico quidem.” 24 <?page no="348"?> Book Seven 349 done business with you, I would allow that person to act according to the rule and order of the law; and I would not rule against you until everything had been carried out according to the letter of the law. However, since you must reckon with Diana and Apollo, you will not set foot outside this chamber until you have sufficiently done right by them.’ While the man was shouting and saying that he was being oppressed by an unjust ruling, the judge said, ‘Somebody call the lictors to restrain this man, drag him off, and lock him up in a jail for religious offenders. At the same time, hitch the horses to my carriage. I have to visit the rex sacrorum to inform him about this man’s most wicked theft.’ The man was moved by fear of chains, and at the same time dreading the ire of the rex sacrorum if such a manifest theft were to be brought before him. He successfully obtained, after much begging, that the judge allow him to make the woman whole, and, after sending men to retrieve the money, he paid back what he owed her.” When he had finished speaking, someone in that gathering sighed deeply and said, “If only I had been assigned such a judge! Indeed, I would not have fallen under the ruling of a most unfair judge in my airtight case. I had a quarrel and a dispute regarding a loan with a certain Laurens. The praetor assigned a certain Cratinus to my case, a wicked and petty judge, who ordered that, if it was evident that Laurens took the money I had loaned him and had not given it back, he would find him guilty. I demonstrated clearly, with witnesses, that I had loaned him the money, and I showed him his signature. The judge said that he was certain of the matter and that it was clearer than the noonday sun. He earnestly begged me, however, to claim that he was ruling unjustly. I responded, ‘What are you saying? Should I criticize a judge, who appears to be on my side, for ruling unjustly? By God, I won’t do it.’ But the judge said, ‘That is what I’m saying. But do as you please.’ I remained without fear and worry. Indeed, why should I have any doubt? The matter was simple, and everything was in my favor: justice, equity, and the judge’s will. Suddenly the announcement came that the judge had proclaimed that Laurens didn’t owe me anything. I rushed over and asked the judge why he had pronounced an unjust ruling against me when he had confirmed so many times that I was the stronger party in the case. Listen to the impudence of that man: ‘You deserved it. How many times did I order you to swear that I was ruling unjustly against you? You are mistaken if you think I would risk my flourishing enterprise in order to advance your failing ones.’ Afterward I found out, from those in the know, that the judge had unfairly burdened me with that injustice in order to oblige a very powerful man who strongly recommended my adversary’s case to him.” 24 <?page no="349"?> 350 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed cum iudici maxime irascitur, factus est etiam commotior repentino cuiusdam adventu, quem nuper nescio quod volumen de illustribus sui aevi scriptoribus edidisse aiebant. Cui, “Non te puduit,” inquit, “ad tot illustrium virorum numerum Iani, culcitrarum concinnatoris, nomen adscribere? Non fuit religio, plebeias idiotae nescio cuius cantilenas, quae in popinis, in triviis, in ganeis cantitentur vel in flabellis describantur, cum tot egregiis praestantium virorum operibus componere? Fortasse quia tibi culcitram gratis effecit, dignus visus est qui in doctorum hominum numerum veniat. Abi, meum nomen ex albo tuorum litteratorum erade. Ego operis, quod edidi, exemplaria undique omnia conquiram atque igni delenda committam. Nam praestat indocti et illiterati famam subire quam una cum Iano ac sui similibus inter litteratos referri.” Inter haec exauditur foris clamor strepitusque armorum. Accurrimus ac duos videmus districtis gladiis unum appetere, a quo se fuisse pulsatos querebantur. Ille vero, lancea ex proxima popina sublata, se tueri. Cui, dum pugnat, patinae argenteae duae, mappa involutae et ad zonam alligatae, solvuntur ac decidunt. Fit ut casu sagittarius quidam ignotus illuc perveniat, qui voce puerorum excitatus est ut sagittis eorum audaciam reprimeret, qui uni negotium facesserent. At ille, tanquam arcus intendendi causa, sese demittens, furtim e terra patinas sustulit atque, omnibus ad pugnam intentis, se una cum illis e turba subduxit; nec visus est uspiam. Pugna dirempta, placuit Gallonio et nobis ad portum accedere, ne, si ventus constitisset, navarcho in quaestione essemus. Ergo imus, sed nondum tempestivum ad navigandum mare invenimus. Quamobrem hortatu Gallonii proximam Cereris aedem subimus, ubi adolescens mulier, quam esse cerritam aiebant, adiurabatur. Illa modo se humi sternere, modo hac illac versare, tum eiulatus edere, spumas agere atque deliramenta eiusmodi quamplurima facere. Medicus, curationi praepositus, a septem lemurum legionibus obtineri agitarique eam aiebat. Quos lemures certis quibusdam carminibus conabatur de corporis obsessi possessione depellere Orcumque ire compellere. Illi contra obniti, repugnare, resistere. Sed demum, tanquam cantionum earum viribus impares, se victos fateri; verum tergiversari ac dieculam ad egrediendum poscere. Medicus negare, terrere minaciis atque id unum instare, ut discessionem facerent. Qui demum, mulieris ore eruptione facta, egrediuntur. Ac miserae, in exeundo, vomitum provocant; qui neque atram bilem, nec flavam, nec simile quidquam effudit, sed acus, ligulas, funiculos, capillos, unguium praesegmina, clavulos minutulos et (quod incredibile memoratu est) digiti pollicis crassitudine ac palmari longitu- 25 26 27 <?page no="350"?> Book Seven 351 He was very angry at the judge, but he got even more worked up with the unexpected arrival of a certain man, 135 who they were saying had recently published some book about famous writers of his age. He said to the man, “Were you not ashamed to add the name of Ianus the mattress maker to that company of illustrious men? Did you have no compunction when you placed the common ditties of some idiot or other, which are sung in taverns, gutters, and soup kitchens, or written on fans, 136 alongside so many outstanding works of excellent men? Perhaps he seemed worthy of being included in the ranks of learned men because he made you a free mattress. Go and erase my name from the list of your learned men! I will search high and low for every copy of the works I’ve published, and I will throw them all in the fire to be destroyed. It’s better to endure a reputation as an uneducated and illiterate man than to be recorded among the learned along with Ianus and those of his ilk.” While he was speaking we heard a noise outside and the sound of weapons. We ran out and saw two men, their swords drawn, attacking another man and protesting that he had hit them. That man was protecting himself with a lance that he had taken from a nearby tavern. While he was fighting, two silver plates that were wrapped in a kerchief and attached to his waist became untied and fell to the ground. It happened by chance that some unknown archer had arrived there and had been roused by the voices of the boys, who were giving the lone man trouble, to use his arrows to put a stop to their insolence. Leaning down as if he were drawing his bow, the man secretly gathered the plates off the ground, and, while everyone was watching the fight, he extracted himself from the crowd along with his haul, and he has not been seen anywhere since. Once the fight had broken up, we decided to head to the port with Gallonius so the captain would not have to go looking for us if the wind died down. We went there, but we found that the sea was not yet seasonable for setting sail. For that reason, on Gallonius’s urging, we climbed up to the nearby Temple of Ceres, where people were exorcising a young woman who they were saying was insane. By turns she threw herself on the ground, twisted every which way, and then she let out a wail, frothed at the mouth, and performed many similar acts of madness. The doctor who was put in charge of her treatment said that she was 135 In Book Nine we find out that this man’s name is Pterotius, the pseudonym for Leone Allacci. The book referred to here is Allacci’s Apes urbanae, sive, De viris illustribus qui ab anno 1630 per totum 1632 Romae adfuerunt ac typis aliquid evulgarunt (Romae: Ludovicus Grignanus, 1633), in which he includes Giovanni Bricci, son of a mattress maker and scrap merchant. 136 This is likely a reference to the fashion of carrying fans printed with the emblems of the Pope or kings along with laudatory poetry of each. These fans were a popular women’s accessory in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries (Welch 2005: 12). Rossi is employing this image to underscore the trivial nature of these literary works. 25 26 27 <?page no="351"?> 352 Eudemia in Ten Books dine ferreum clavum. Haec medicus diligenter collecta edito in loco collocabat, populo aspiciendi potestas ut esset. Eaque mulieri, veneficae cuiusdam opera, in melimelo voranda esse tradita, ac demum, vomitione excussa, unam tantum lemurum legionem secum traxisse narrabat; reliquas cum aliis aeque portentosis rebus in ventre mulieris sibi castra munisse, sed fore propediem ut illae quoque suis socios vestigiis prosequerentur, quaeque adhuc venter intus prodigia concluderet, foras evomeret. Nos, rei novitate attonitis similes, non satis intellegebamus quomodo melimelum unum tam multas res capere, vel eas mulier prudens, sciens mandere, vorare ac mansas anno post integras evomere potuisset. Quomodo enim acuum clavulorumque acumina nihil gutturi, nihil ventri nocuerunt? Quid? Clavum illum palmarem utrum minutissimas in partes dentibus divisum atque confectum in ventrem abstulit, an integrum voravit? Si divisum, unde ad ferrum comminuendum ea vis erat in dentibus? Si integrum, quomodo non est ab eodem strangulata? Sed hunc nobis scrupulum evellit unus, qui spectaculo aderat. Qui quidem, “Quam lepide,” inquit, “nebulo iste se nobis dare verba putat? 393 Ut malus nos asinos, plumbeos, stipites, non homines retur? Tanquam si non sit palam unde portentosa illa defluxerint! Quod neque vos falleret, si eius a manibus oculos nunquam dimovissetis. Etenim ea est prestigiatoribus istis celeritas manuum, ut, nisi admodum attendas, oculorum aciem effugiat.” Tum, “Tu,” inquam, “nullas esse cerritas, vel fanaticas, vel lymphatas existimas? ” - “Utinam,” ait ille, “dii facerent ne essent! Sed paucas admodum licet hoc morbo correptas invenire. Nam hodie, ut quamque viri sui odium cepit et alteri- 393 Hor. Sat. I.III.22-3: “ignoras te, an ut ignotum dare nobis / verba putas? ” 28 29 <?page no="352"?> Book Seven 353 being possessed and controlled by seven legions of spirits. He was attempting to drive the spirits out of her possessed body with certain proven incantations and drive them back to Orcus. The spirits struggled against him, fought back, and resisted. Finally, unequal in strength, as it were, to those incantations, they conceded defeat. But the spirits turned back around and asked for a little bit of time to leave. The doctor denied them, scared them with threats, and stood firm on this one point, that they had to leave. Finally, the spirits burst forth and flew out of the young woman’s mouth. As they exited they caused the poor thing to vomit and spew forth not black or yellow bile, or anything like that, but needles, spoons, string, hair, nail clippings, tacks, and (what is amazing to recount) an iron nail that was as thick as your thumb and the length of your palm. The doctor carefully collected all of these items and placed them high up so people could see them. He said that the items had been put inside a honey apple, by the handiwork of a witch, and given to the woman to eat, and that in the end, after being dislodged when she vomited, they had carried out with them only one legion of spirits, and the remaining legions of spirits had pitched their camp inside the woman’s stomach with other equally hideous beings, but that it would soon come to pass that they, too, would follow in the footsteps of their fellow spirits, and that she would spew forth whatever monsters were imprisoned in her stomach. Struck by the strangeness of this occurrence, we could not properly grasp how a single honey apple could hold so many objects or how a sensible and perceptive woman could chew them, eat them, and then throw them back up a year after she had swallowed them whole. Indeed, how did the sharp end of those needles and tacks not do any damage to her throat and stomach? What? Did she ingest that fist-sized nail into her stomach broken up into tiny bits and chewed up with her teeth, or did she devour it whole? If it was broken up, how were her teeth strong enough to crush iron? If it was whole, how did she not choke on it? But one man, who had been present at the scene, solved this difficulty for us. He said, “How wittily that trickster thinks he is pulling one over on us! Does that wicked man think we are asses, idiots, or wooden stumps instead of men? As if it were not obvious where those monstrous things were flowing from! If you had kept your eyes on his hands, you would not have been deceived. Indeed, if you don’t pay close attention, those tricksters use sleight of hand that escapes your sight.” Then I said, “Is it your belief that possessed, fanatic, or frenzied women don’t exist? ” - “If only the gods would make it so there were none at all! ” he said. “But you can’t find many who are beset with this affliction. These days, when a woman’s hatred for her husband sets in and her desire for another takes hold, whom she is not able to possess, she immediately instructs people to say she’s 28 29 <?page no="353"?> 354 Eudemia in Ten Books us cupiditas init, cuius potiundi facultas non suppetat, continuo se circumferri iubet pro cerrita. Aliis simplicioribus si pes, si caput indoluit, si crus, si femur, si brachium intumuit, si bilis atra tristes cogitationes induxit, statim veteratores isti, qui hoc se artificio tuentur, vel eodem ad suas libidines utuntur, hunc larvarum ac lemurum metum incutiunt ac pecuniam auferunt, qua Hercules invocetur, vel Ceres placetur, vel olera aut alia ad suffitus faciendos emantur. Alii libidinosi, sumpta occasione, ad mulierum familiaritates sibi aditus muniunt; virgines ac matresfamilias saepe nobiles simulatione curationis attrectant et, si fortuna vel casus conatus eorum adiuvet, etiam [pudicitia] 394 denudant. Itaque per hanc rationem amores difficillimos atque carissimos sibi conficiunt sine sumptu, sine molestia, sine dispendio.” “Vera loquitur vir iste,” inquit alius, “qui sermonem hunc auribus legerat. Et quo magis istorum vobis improbitas testata sit, exponam quod ego hiscemet oculis vidi. Quo tempore eram Regi Alectrio a cubiculo (hic est rex vastissimarum earum regionum longe maximus atque clarissimus), venerunt circumforanei ad nos aliquot cum muliere, in quam multa lemurum millia confluxisse iactabant; coeperuntque suggestum, in foro sub regiae domus fenestras excitatum, ascendere. Atque ibidem mulier clamare, eiulare, hac illac se agere, in illorum brachia reicere. Illi retinere, Herculem invocare, Cererem, Apollinem, Iovem ut essent propitii orare. Lemures, iniecto tantorum numinum metu, ne tantulum quidem commoveri; sed obsesso in corpore, tanquam in arce, maiori se praesidio munire. Mulier, tanquam si ipsius ore responsa lemures darent, vario linguarum genere uti, ad interrogata respondere et in primis affirmare nullum eorum lemurum ne latum quidem unguem ab se longius discessurum antequam ipsa Dianae Daphnitae aedem attingat; ipsam solam posse ipsis imperare ut exeant. At si Iuppiter veniat ac duodecim deos (plus quam in caelo est deorum immortalium) secum adducat, ultro etiam irrisus ac deceptus abierit. Aberat ea aedes illinc decies centena millia passuum. Tum illi efficacissimis verbis populo misericordiam commovere. Mulieris inopiam afferre, cui ne pauculi quidem nummi, qui essent ad eius diei cenam satis adessent, ne dum suis opibus tam longam peregrinationem susciperet; proinde ad eorum opem confugere, orare ac deprecari ut miserae subvenirent, zonam instruerent ac viaticum ad iter ornarent. At populus sane commotus misereri, accurrere, stipem conferre. Illi gratias agere, pietatem laudare ac se multa postridie ac ceteris deinceps diebus iucunda de cerrita illa daturos polliceri; proinde solita cum stipe parati ad spectandum accederent. 394 This word was removed from the 1645 edition. 30 <?page no="354"?> Book Seven 355 insane. In the case of more simple women, if their foot or head is hurting, if their leg, thigh, or arm becomes swollen, if black bile has induced melancholy, these scheming men, who support themselves by this trade—or employ it to satisfy their lust—instill this fear of demons and spirits in people, and they take money to invoke Hercules, placate Ceres, or buy herbs and other things for making fumigants. Other, more libidinous men seize on similar opportunities to forge a path to intimacy with women. Pretending to administer medical treatments, they grope the maidens and noblewomen of the house and, if fortune or good luck favors their attempts, they take their virginity as well. In this way, they procure challenging and expensive love affairs for themselves at no cost and without any trouble or expense.” Another man said, “The man who selected this story for us to hear is telling the truth. I will narrate what I saw, with my very own eyes, so the shamelessness of these men will be better known to you. During the period when I was serving as the valet of King Alectrius, the greatest and most renowned king of those vast regions, some scoundrels came to our city with a woman who, they were boasting, was possessed by many thousands of spirits. They climbed up onto a platform that had been erected in the forum, right below the windows of the royal place. At that moment, the woman began to shout, wail, sway back and forth, and throw herself into their arms. The scoundrels restrained her and called upon Hercules, Ceres, Apollo, and Jove, praying for the gods to be propitious. The spirits, intimidated by so many divinities, were not dislodged even the slightest bit, but barricaded themselves inside her possessed body with a fortification, as if they were inside a great citadel. The woman, as if the spirits were responding through her very own mouth, spoke in various languages and answered questions. Most importantly, the ghosts insisted that they wouldn’t withdraw from the woman farther than even a finger’s breadth until she had visited the Temple of Diana Daphnitae 137 ; that Diana was the only one who could order them to leave; and that, if Jupiter himself were to come and bring with him twelve gods (which is more than there are in heaven), even he would depart a frustrated laughingstock. The Temple of Diana Daphnitae was located a thousand miles away. The scoundrels then moved the populace to compassion with their skilled speechifying. They told of the woman’s poverty and how she didn’t even have the few pennies necessary to dine that day, let alone take up 137 Identified by Gryphius and Drujon as Our Lady of Loreto. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n.-22. If this identification is correct, the name of this sanctuary could refer to the Basilica della Santa Casa in Loreto or to Santa Maria di Loreto in Rome. Though Rossi tends to refer to people, places, and things that are local to him and his circle, the mention of the long distance to the temple could indicate that he is speaking of the basilica in Loreto, which is about 240 kilometers from Rome. 30 <?page no="355"?> 356 Eudemia in Ten Books “Rex, qui rem omnem ex fenestra acceperat, me praesente dat cuidam negotium ut abeat, quaerat, investiget unde, qui, cuius fortunae et professionis sint ii, qui cum populo egerant. Ille obtemperans currit, homines adipiscitur, subsequitur clanculum videtque in hospitium ad cauponem divertere. Ne multa: cauponam intrat; cubiculum ubi cubent observat; alterum eidem adiunctum ingreditur; et interea, dum illi absunt, terebra satis latum in pariete, qui erat factus e tabulis gypso circumlitis, foramen aperuit atque inde coepit venaturam oculis facere et aucupium auribus. 395 Illi revertuntur, cenam poscunt atque (ut mos est earum gentium) tradunt se hilaritati iocisque; cantant, saltant, mulierem mediam arripiunt, sternunt humi, amplexantur, [attrectant]. 396 Posthaec cena venit, apponitur, accubitum itur, estur, bibitur; laetitiae, hilaritati ludisque non parcitur. Sed postquam vino epulisque datum est satis, traduntur mulieri ediscenda quae postero die populo vendituri essent. Et quamvis, si quid faciendum est mulieri male ac maliciose, ea sibi immortalis memoria est, meminisse et sempiterna, 397 attamen, quia metus erat, si quid titubatum esset, ne doli aperirentur, coacta est saepius dictata repetere. Tum coeptum est cogitari de somno. Duo erant lectuli seorsim positi, qui eorum opera iunguntur, atque ex duobus unus efficitur. Illi simul omnes sese commendant. “His actis, speculator a rege missus, satis iam satis 398 rem esse claram existimans, quaerendi finem facit atque abiit, ut regi quae viderat cuncta narraret. Qui rex gavisus est se opinione sua non fuisse deceptum. Itaque iubet omnes in carcerem condi atque, habita quaestione, quae explorator viderat, ipsorum con- 395 Plaut. Mil. IV.i.990-1: “viden' tu illam oculis venaturam facere atque aucupium auribus? ” 396 This word was removed from the 1645 edition. 397 Plaut. Mil. III.iii.887-8. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 23. 398 Ter. An. V.i.820: “satis iam satis, Simo, spectata erga te amicitiast mea.” 31 32 33 <?page no="356"?> Book Seven 357 such a long pilgrimage at her own expense. They then appealed to the people’s aid, begging and pleading with them to help the poor woman, ready her purse, and equip her with provisions for her voyage. Greatly moved, the people showed compassion, rushed to help, and brought her donations. The scoundrels thanked the people, praised their piety, and promised to bring back, the next day and on following days, many delightful stories about the mad woman, adding that the people should come prepared to see them bearing their usual donations. “The king, who was watching this all from his window in my presence, assigned a man the task of going, inquiring, and investigating where these men who were interacting with his people were from, who they were, and what their circumstances and profession were. The man obeyed, ran out, caught up with the men, secretly followed them, and saw them seek lodging at an inn. In brief, the man entered the inn, noted the room where the men were staying, and went into another room adjacent to theirs. While the scoundrels were out, he took a drill and opened up a fairly wide hole in the wall, which was made of panels covered with plaster, and from there he began hunting with his eyes and snaring with his ears. The scoundrels returned, ordered dinner, and (as was the custom of those people) gave themselves over to lightheartedness and sport. They sang, danced, grabbed the woman around her waist, laid her down on the ground, took her in their arms, and had their way with her. After this, dinner arrived and was placed on the table. They sat down, ate, drank, and did not hold back in any joy, hilarity, or sport. After they had had enough of wine and feasting, they communicated to the woman the things they wanted her to learn by heart, which they were going to pawn off on the people the following day, and though if a woman has to do something bad and malicious, her memory for that is immortal and perpetual, 138 nevertheless, because they feared that their fraud would be uncovered if she hesitated at all, she was forced to go over many times what they dictated to her. They then began thinking about sleep. There were two little beds placed next to each other, which they had taken the trouble to join to create a single bed. They all lay down on the bed together. “After they had done this, the spy who had been sent by the king reckoned that the matter was clear enough, wrapped up his investigation, and left to report everything he had seen to the king. The king was glad that his instinct had not failed him. He therefore ordered all of the scoundrels to be locked up in jail. After an inquiry had been conducted, everything the spy had seen was borne out by their confession and entered into the official record. Because they 138 Plaut. Mil. III.ii.887-8. Translation from Plautus and de Melo 2011-13. 31 32 33 <?page no="357"?> 358 Eudemia in Ten Books fessione proferri et in publicas tabulas referri. Qui, manifesto deprehensi, non sunt ausi negare. Genus animadversionis cognoscite et simul regis prudentiam admiramini. Imperat his ut palam in foro atque ex eodem suggestu, quo populo fucum factum advenerant, palinodiam cantent et tanquam cornices oculos cornicum effodiant. 399 Quod si recusent facere, statim in crucem agantur. Ac ne saxis obruerentur, undique armatos disposuit, qui vim populi impetumque repellerent. Illi crucis metu imperata fecere ac postridie regis iussu exulare coacti, regni eiusdem finibus excesserunt. “Sed cur abit oratio mea longius neque se urbis nostrae terminis continet? Nonne hic apud nos deorum immortalium flamines, qua sunt avaritia, lymphatum fere semper aliquem vel verum, vel fictum ad populum convocandum precio in aedes sacras inducunt? Est in hac urbe Fanum Mercurii, omnium maximum ac sumptuosissimum, cuius erat olim aedituus Alexis quidam, spurcus homo et flagitiosus. Hic e numero quadruplatorum deterrimus ac foedis puerorum amoribus notus, furti saepe se alligaverat. Praeterea decretam semper aliquam domum habebat, in quam quidquid erat ubique lenonum, aleatorum, perductorum 400 conveniret, demum in quam omnes omnium libidines commearent. Nemo in eam puer pedem intro ferebat, qui pudicitiam salvam inde referret; nemo in eam castus ingrediebatur, qui non inde aliquo pollutus flagitio regrederetur. Quibus artibus fiebat ut omnibus carus in primis existeret. Sed demum a duce lictorum clam veneno sublatus est, propterea quod falsum indicium ipsi detulisset. Cuius postea praetorem ac regem sacrorum participem faciens, quibus id falsum esse constabat, habitus fuerat ab iis vel malignus, quod falsas criminationes, vel indiligens, qui res minus conquisitas et exploratas afferret. Attamen dux idem lictorum palam multis audientibus dixit damnum se huius immaturo interitu facere, quo exploratore cohors praetoris nullum neque meliorem, neque sagaciorem haberet. “In hac igitur aede sacellum est Cereris perantiquum, ferreis clathris septum, maxima antiquissimaque religione praeditum, quod lapidem habeat inclusum, in quo sedisse dicitur Ceres, lassitudine victa, cum Proserpinam quaereret. Hunc lapidem ad cerritos expiandos magnam habere vim dicunt. Conduxerat per id tempus Uranius, nobilis pictor, tabulam quandam pingendam, in qua describe- 399 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 24) refers to Macrob. Sat. VI.5.2: “Tamquam cornix cornici oculos effodiat.” 400 Cic. Verr. II.I.XII.33: “Sileatur de nocturnis eius bacchationibus ac vigiliis; lenonum, aleatorum, perductorum nulla mentio fiat.” 34 35 <?page no="358"?> Book Seven 359 had been caught red-handed, they did not dare deny it. Learn the method of punishment and, at the same time, admire the king’s wisdom. He ordered them to publicly sing a palinode 139 in the forum from the same platform where they had come to play their tricks on the people, like crows gouging out the eyes of other crows. And if they refused, they would immediately be sent to the cross. To avoid them being pelted by stones, the king placed armed men all around to fend off the force and attacks of the people. Fearing the cross, the tricksters did what they were told. The following day they were forced by the king’s command into exile, and they retreated beyond the borders of the kingdom. “But why did my story go farther afield and not contain itself within the boundaries of our city? Don’t we also have greedy flamens of the immortal gods here among us, who often bring some crazed person—either genuinely mad or pretending to be—into their temples in order to draw people in for a price? The Temple of Mercury, located here in our city, is the largest and most ornate of all the temples, and it once had a certain Alexis as its sexton who was a filthy and shameful man. The wickedest of all exaggerators, he was known for his loathsome love of boys and often proved himself guilty of illicit acts. Moreover, he always had some dedicated house upon which every pimp, gambler, and seducer would descend and where everyone’s passions gravitated. No boy could set foot in that house and leave with his purity intact. No chaste person who entered there could leave again without being tarnished by some disgraceful act. Through these enticements, it came about that the sacristan became everybody’s favorite person. He was finally poisoned, in secret, by the head lictor because he had brought a false charge against him. When he made the praetor and the rex sacrorum aware of this, to whom it was evident that the charge was false, they considered the sacristan to be either spiteful because he had brought false accusations, or negligent because he had presented accusations that were not well investigated or scrutinized. Nevertheless, the head lictor admitted publicly, before a large audience, that he had caused damage with the man’s untimely death, since the office of the praetors had never had a better or keener spy than he. “A most ancient shrine to Ceres was located in that temple, enclosed within iron bars and imbued with the greatest and most ancient holiness. The shrine contained a stone upon which, it was said, Ceres herself had sat down after being overcome with exhaustion while searching for Proserpina. They said that this stone held great power for expiating people overcome with madness. The noble painter Uranius had undertaken, at that time, to paint a certain picture in which he depicted the goddess Diana’s virgins bathing her, covered in perspi- 139 A poem in which the poet retracts a view or sentiment expressed in a former one. 34 35 <?page no="359"?> 360 Eudemia in Ten Books retur quo pacto suae Dianam virgines, ex venatione sudoris ac pulveris plenam, sacro amne lavissent. Huic, die quodam, a mane ad vesperum vox ex adverso clamantis aures verberavit, qui, completis sacris et instante iam noctis tempore, nihil de vocis contentione remitteret, sed eandem vehementius intenderet. Sensit Uranius vocem eam ex sacello prodire. Confert se illo atque hominem ibidem inclusum, quid clamaret, interrogat. Qui, ‘Conductus sum,’ inquit, ‘hodie ab Alexi quindecim obolis, ut pro cerrito me geram atque aedem clamoribus et ululatibus impleam. Ego ad ravim usque 401 clamavi; neque homo adest cum mercede. Et (quod molestius mihi est) ventris desiderio differor. Quod si cessat venire et clathros istos recludere, hic profecto alvum educam.’ Tum Uranius, ‘Ita facto opus est. Age, ventrem exonera et quod egesseris, cum ille venerit ac te mercede pacta fraudaverit, in os eidem impingito.’” Haec elocutus obticuit. At Paulus Aemilius, “Ubi sunt,” inquit, “qui aiunt Romae tantum sycophantas et veteratores inveniri? Quantum audio, ubique locorum moribus eisdem vivitur.” Interim veniens a navarcho adolescens nuntiat fluctus consedisse maritimos ac statutum eidem esse navim solvere et ad proximam insulam remis velisque contendere; proinde properaremus venire. Nos dicto audientes accurrimus et navarchum cum chirurgo litigantem offendimus. Qui eum opere orabat maximo ut se cum aliis vectoribus in navim exciperet. Navarchus recusabat, quod plena navis neminem praeterea caperet. Gallonius chirurgum rogat unde tanta haec navigandi cupido eum incesserit, qui semper a mari abstinuisset. Respondit patris saevitia contingere ut patriam sedem exilio permutet, qui ipsum aedibus foras eiecisset, “Heri (ut scire vos arbitror 402 ) nos, qui vulneribus manu medemur, servi in crucem acti cadaver a triumviris rerum capitalium accepimus, quo ad remedia vivorum incideremus ac viscerum posituram, colorem, formam ac magnitudinem pernosceremus. Ego iecur a reliquo corpore avulsum domum attuli, quo omnes eius partes, fibras, membranulas, quibus annectitur septo, quod a praecordiis uterum dividit, 403 diligentius contemplarer; illudque iecur rastro cubiculi mei parieti affixo suspendi et, quia mihi erat negotium in foro, discedo. 401 Plaut. Aul. II.v.336: “usque ad ravim poscam.” 402 arbitrot 1645 403 Celsus, Med. IV.1: “At sub corde atque pulmone traversum ex valida membrana est septum, quod e praecordiis uterum diducit.” 36 <?page no="360"?> Book Seven 361 ration and dust from hunting, in a sacred river. 140 One day he heard the voice of a person close to him crying out from morning to evening. After the sacred rites were concluded and with night coming on, the crying person did not let up one bit, but made his voice felt even stronger. Uranius realized that the voice was coming from the shrine. He went over to the shrine and asked the man who was enclosed there why he was wailing. The man replied, ‘Alexis hired me for fifteen obols today to act like I was possessed and to fill the temple with cries and wails. I have been screaming myself hoarse, but that man has not shown up with my pay. And, what is even more irksome, I am wracked with a need to defecate. If he doesn’t come and unlock these bars, I will surely empty my bowels right here.’ Then Uranius responded, ‘That’s exactly what you should do. Come on, empty your bowels and, when he comes back and cheats you out of your agreed-upon wages, throw in his face whatever you’ve squeezed out.’” He finished speaking and fell silent. Paulus Aemilius said, “Who are those people who say that tricksters and schemers are only found in Rome? From what I hear, people behave the same way everywhere.” In the meantime, a young man had arrived from the ship’s captain and announced that the waves had calmed down and that the captain had decided to set sail and to travel, with all deliberate speed, to the nearby island, and so we should come quickly. We listened to the instruction, hurried over, and encountered the captain fighting with a surgeon, who was very much pleading with him to take him on board the ship with the other passengers. The captain was refusing because the ship was full and could not accommodate anyone else. Gallonius asked the surgeon why he had been seized by this great desire to set sail, since he had always avoided the sea. The surgeon responded that it was his father’s cruelty that was making him move from his native land into exile, because he had thrown him out of the house. “Yesterday, as I think you know, those of us who heal wounds with our hands took in the body of a servant who had been sent to the cross by the triumvirs on account of a capital crime. We did this so we could cut him open for the benefit of finding cures for the living, and to obtain a thorough knowledge of the position, color, shape, and size of his organs. I myself plucked the liver from the remains of his body and brought it home so I could carefully examine every part of it—the fibers and the little membranes that bind it to the enclosure separating the abdomen from the chest wall—and I placed the liver over a rack that hangs on the wall in my room. Then I went out because I had some business in the forum. 140 This could well have been a real painting by Gaspare Celio, but, if so, it has not survived. 36 <?page no="361"?> 362 Eudemia in Ten Books “Aliquanto post cum prandii tempus iam praeteriisset, domum redeo, cubiculum intro, aspicio, neque iecur invenio; quaero ab ancilla, quid eo factum sit, et cur, me absente, ausa sit illud attingere. Hinc magnum mihi cum ea litigium exoritur. Quo clamore excitatus pater meus eo venit, et, ‘Quid hoc clamoris est? ’ ait. ‘Quid vos velitamini inter vos duos? ’ Ego, ‘Propudium istuc, aio, iecur a me studiorum causa allatum sustulit; neque possum scire quid eo sit factum.’ Tum pater, ‘Quid clamore opus est? ’ inquit. ‘Ecquid mulier deliquit, si abstulit? Ut tu scias: coximus, ex eoque paulo ante fecimus prandio funus; neque alias esca una palato meo sapiit magis. Experire; tu quoque idem fatebere. Nam tua tibi pars in arca servatur.’ Ego ex ira, vix mei compos (non enim erat ita facile iecur alterum invenire), ‘Elegans,’ inquam, ‘facinus fecisti; crucifixi hominis iecur vorasti.’ Pater, qui nollet hoc sibi dictum, exarsit ac ‘Pessime, exclamat; tua causa factus sum hodie anthropophagus. Cur non antea dixisti? Cur illud palam 404 habuisti? Abi hinc in malam crucem et cave te mihi posthac ostendas! Quod si post vesperum in his regionibus conspicor, frustulatim differam ac mordicus tibi iecur abripiam, ut cum prandio cena conveniat.’ Ego patris conspectum veritus 405 abeo atque alias regiones persequor. Et quamvis parce admodum viaticatus sim, facile tamen (ut spero) meo artificio me tuebor.” Non sine horrore et stomacho dicta adolescentis excepimus. Hominem tamen risimus, qui se humanis carnibus saturasset. Illum vero bonam mentem habere iussimus et nauclerum oravimus ut in navim reciperet. Qui negavit id fieri posse, si senex ille odiosus veniret, qui, qua erat superbia, omnes morabatur. Ac dicturus erat plura de hominis insolentia atque fastidio, sed nos ad se Plusius attraxit, qui in crepidine portus lectitabat alteri nescio quod carmen; ac vultu et significatione videbatur eidem applaudere. Qui, ut nos aspexit, evocavit atque, “Audite,” inquit, “lepidum carmen ab Arido Virgilio adolescenti missum, qui filius est fratris Ursati, magni antistitis atque dynastae, quem nuper extinctum deflevimus: 404 clam 1645 (possibly a typesetter error) 405 Ter. Phorm. II.ii.315: “itane patris ais conspectum veritum hinc abiisse? ” 37 38 <?page no="362"?> Book Seven 363 “A little while later, when lunchtime had already passed, I go home, enter my room, look around, and can’t find the liver anywhere. I ask our maidservant what happened to it and why she dared to touch it while I was out. A great argument breaks out between us over this. My father, roused by the noise, comes over and says, ‘What is the meaning of all this racket? Why are the two of you fighting? ’ I reply, ‘This villain here stole a liver from me that I had brought home to study, and I can’t find out what happened to it.’ Then my father says, ‘Why all the commotion? And what did the woman do wrong if she did take it? Just to let you know, we cooked it up and made quick work of our lunch a little while ago. I have never eaten a dish anywhere that my taste buds enjoyed more. Try it, and you too will say the same thing. I saved some for you in the kitchen cupboard.’ Almost beside myself with anger (it was not that easy to find another liver), I said, ‘That was a fine crime you committed. You ate the liver of a crucified man! ’ My father, who did not want to hear that, became enraged and shouted, ‘You’re the worst! You made a cannibal out of me today! Why didn’t you say anything before? Why were you keeping it in plain sight? Get out of here and go hang—and make sure you don’t show your face around here again! If I catch sight of you around these parts after tonight, I’ll scatter you about in little pieces, rip out your liver with my teeth, and make sure I have a dinner that matches my lunch! ’ Fearing the sight of my father, I left and am going in search of other lands; although I don’t have a lot of traveling money, I nevertheless hope to support myself with my profession.” We listened to the young man’s account with horror and disgust, but we laughed anyway at the man who had stuffed himself with human flesh. We told the young man to cheer up, and we begged the captain to let him aboard. The captain said that it wasn’t going to be possible if that disagreeable old man was coming, who was keeping everyone waiting on account of his arrogance. He was about to say more regarding that man’s insolence and pride, but Plusius, who was reading some poem or other to another man on the pier of the port, attracted our attention. He seemed to applaud the poem with his look and expression. When Plusius saw us he called out and said, “Listen to this charming poem that Aridus sent to the young Virgilius. Virgilius is the son of Brother Ursatus, the great priest and dynast whom we recently mourned upon his death: 37 38 <?page no="363"?> 364 Eudemia in Ten Books “O surgens populi spes nova, Virgili, 406 Ursatique domus deliciae et decus, ut fausto exoriens omine lucidum caeli sidus ades, laeta micantibus virtutum radiis lumina proferens, 5 cum natura, tuis laudibus obsequens, nec parvum ingenium crediderit tibi, nec clausum studii finibus unici, parva sicut aquam mole coercitum, 407 sed magnum atque potens claustra refringere 10 perque artes varias serpere liberum, ceu flumen validum, cum imbribus aut suis praepollens opibus, praeterit alveum ac per longa vagum rura perambulat. Nam centum ingenuis praeditus artibus 15 festinas solidae ad culmina gloriae magnis paene puer tendere passibus. Ecquis non avidis ebibit auribus, quos fundis nitidos pectore diviti sermones, roseo ac nectare fervidos, 20 vel si Pieriis verba liges modis, 408 vel si des numeris pergere liberis? Quem grata implicitum compede non trahat ad sese probitas haec tua, moribus 406 With the exception of the first line, this poem is identical to a poem Rossi dedicated to the real Virgilio Orsini, which is contained in a 1627 letter addressed to Giovanni Zaratino Castellini (Ep. ad div. 1.III.V). The first line of the poem in the letter is “Urbis Romulae spes nova Virgilii.” 407 coercitam 1637 408 Hor. Ars P. 404-6: “et gratia regum / Pieriis temptata modis, ludusque repertus / et longorum operum finis.” “Pieriis modis” is a reference to the poetry of Pindar, Simonides, and Bacchylides (see Horace and Fairclough 1926: 483 n. h).The name refers to Pieria, a Macedonian region that had a strong association with Orpheus and the Muses. 39 <?page no="364"?> Book Seven 365 “O Virgilius—rising new hope of the people, delight and glory of the house of Ursatus—appearing under good auspices, you are here, a shining star of heaven, bringing lights that abound with the gleaming rays of the virtues! Since nature, according to your merits, entrusted you with a talent that was neither small nor confined within the limits of a single course of study, like water restrained within a small channel, but was strong and able to break through barriers and wend its way through the various liberal arts like a mighty river—made powerful with rainfall or by its own nature—that overflows its banks and, meandering, traverses vast estates. Learned in a hundred liberal arts, you, still a boy, hasten with great strides to aim for the heights of genuine glory. Is there anyone who does not imbibe, with avid ears, the speeches you pour forth from your fertile mind, which are magnificent and glowing with rosy nectar, whether you are joining words in poetic meter or consenting to proceed in prose? Whom does your honesty, ornamented with outstanding morals, and your pure integrity not draw to itself and bind in pleasing fetters? To whom do those battles not bring wondrous joy where you, at play, attack wild beasts, whether you are hunting a boar in the cold outdoors or slaying a deer with a powerful blow? It is no wonder that, from a tender age, this strength has been a part of you. For in your home your father was illustrious, as was your grandfather who, playing sweetly on his Thracian harp, was able to halt rivers and draw oak trees down from high mountains. These men possessed the wisdom of powerful Laelius and the lovely strength of the Scipios. But while, as a boy, you are forming and preparing yourself, attentive to your ancestral customs, you demonstrate how—since it is right for you to live your life of your own accord and hold fast to your purpose—you resist with firm intention the carnal desires that lead wanton men toward forbidden sin. In much the same way, the straight pine tree strikes the air as it grows, or the tall ash, with its tender bark and its leaves glowing far and wide, will not fear rain showers or the raging North winds and will not bow its head before the clouds.” 39 <?page no="365"?> 366 Eudemia in Ten Books condita egregiis, nudaque veritas? 25 Cui non mira ferant gaudia, quae feris ludens pulchra moves proelia belluis, sive aprum sequeris sub Iove frigido, seu cervam validis conficis ictibus? Nec mirum, a teneris si haereat unguibus 30 vis haec tanta tibi. Namque domi pater splendet, splendet avus, qui valet ad chelyn dulcis Threiciam 409 sistere flumina et quercus aereis ducere montibus. 410 Illis fortis adest et sapientia 35 Laeli, et Scipiadae robur amabile. At dum te puerum fingis et instruis mores ad patrios sedulus, obtines ut, cum iam fuerit fas tibi vivere aevum, sponte tua, propositi tenax 411 40 obsistas solida mente libidini, ducenti cupidos in vetitum nefas. 412 Sic quae recta oriens aera verberat pinus, vel tenero cortice fraxinus, cum late foliis fulserit ardua, 45 non imbres metuet, non tumidos Notos, nec flexo feriet nubila vertice.” 413 409 Threiïciam 1637 410 IJsewijn’s note (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 25) suggests that the Thracian harp player referenced in this poem is Orpheus himself (“significatur Orpheus”), but it is actually a reference to the grandfather of Virgilius (pseudonym for Virgilio Orsini) the dedicatee of the poem. It is his talent that is being praised by this evocation of Orpheus. 411 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 26) refers to Hor. Carm. III.3.1: “Iustum et tenacem propositi virum.” 412 Hor. Carm. I.3.26: “audax omnia perpeti / gens humana ruit per vetitum nefas.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 27. 413 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998 Lib. VII, n. 28) refers to Hor. Carm. I.1.36: “Sublimi feriam sidera vertice.” <?page no="366"?> Book Seven 367 <?page no="367"?> 368 Eudemia in Ten Books Delectavit me mirum in modum carminis cultus et nitor, ac “Libenter,” inquam, “Plusi, eius exemplum mecum afferrem, si esset otium describendi, sed mox discessuri, temporis angustiis opprimimur.” Plusius humaniter, “Habeto,” inquit, “hoc tibi; nam unde descripsi, sexcenta possum exempla depromere.” Accipio et gratias ago. At ille eodem puncto temporis demonstravit digito philosophum, ex ea familia, quae Minervae cultui se voti religione obstringit. Summa eorum hominum professionis haec est, ab uxoribus et ab omni genere concubitus abstinere. Unum sibi quotannis ex ipsis magistri, nomine cunctorum, suffragiis eligere, cuius imperio praesto sint ad nutum. Simili omnes vestitu uti. Una cibum capere, nunquam solos, sed binos, ternos vel quaternos incedere. Voluptates omnes respuere, virtutes amplecti; eam in primis, qua Minerva se iactat, nimirum castitatem. Disciplina a Xenocrate, Platonis auditore, inventa ac profecta existimatur. 414 Itaque ob hanc opinionem virtutis, honoris gratia a cunctis illis assurgitur, deceditur, et tanquam praesentibus diis honor habetur. Iis licitum est, sine maleficii suspicione, in aedes nobilium introire, ad intima eorum cubicula penetrare; mulieres, absentibus maritis, invisere, alloqui, consolari; consilio, opera et auctoritate iuvare. Unum igitur ex istis nobis Plusius ostendit, atque, “Hic est,” inquit, “ille qui hodie intestabilis vivit.” Quaerimus quid sit hoc. Respondet, “Hic est philosophi illius comes, qui Pamphilam Lysimachi, nobilis viri, uxorem quotidie adibat ac, remotis arbitris, solus cum sola multas in cubiculo horas traducebat. Hic vero ieiunus, una cum ostiaria, puella non illepida, in altero cubiculo servabat, ne alius adiret. Sed die quodam, defessus exspectando, puellae inquit, ‘Dic, obsecro, quid negotii intus isti in cubiculo gerunt? ’ Quae ridibunda atque hilaris, ‘Quid putas? ’ ait. ‘Se mutuo ad castitatem cohortantur. Heus tu, lolione victitas 415 an veterno laboras, qui rem manifestam non videas? Illi animo obsequuntur suo, et sapiunt, mea sententia. Nos vero inertes ac ieiuni eisdem excubias agimus. Cur idem ad exemplum nos quoque hilares non sumimus dies? ’ Non fuit opus multis verbis, hominem et aetatis calore, et occasionis illecebris, et mulieris oratione incitatum ad nequitiam impellere. Sed veniebat illi in mentem professionis suae et voti, quo se Minervae obstrinxerat. Sed virginem plus quam se sapere existimans, ‘Alii,’ inquit, ‘Minervae fidem, in eo quod promiserint, servent; mihi 414 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 29) refers to Cic. Tusc. V. XVIII.51: “Quid ergo aut hunc prohibet aut etiam Xenocratem illum gravissimum philosophorum, exaggerantem tanto opere virtutem, extenuantem cetera et abicientem, in virtute non beatam modo vitam, sed etiam beatissimam ponere? ” 415 Plaut. Mil. II.iii.321: “Mirumst lolio victitare te tam vili tritico.” 40 41 42 <?page no="368"?> Book Seven 369 The refinement and style of the poem pleased me exceedingly. I said, “Plusius, I would gladly take a copy with me if I had time to write it down, but we have to depart soon and are pressed by lack of time.” Plusius said kindly, “Take this one. I can produce any number of copies where I transcribed that one from.” I accepted it and thanked him. At that very moment Plusius pointed his finger at a philosopher from the religious order that is bound by oath to the cult of Minerva. 141 The most important aspect of their vow is to abstain from women and from any manner of sexual intercourse. Every year their leaders, on behalf of the rest, vote to select one of their own members whose authority they stand ready to obey. They all dress in like manner; they eat their meals together; they never walk alone but always in pairs, in threes, or in fours; they spurn all pleasures; and they embrace all virtues, especially, of course, chastity, which Minerva prides herself in. Their school is thought to have been devised and promoted by Xenocrates, a disciple of Plato. Thus, on account of this belief in their virtue, to honor them everyone rises to their feet and makes way for them, and they are revered as if they were gods among us. They are permitted to enter into the homes of noblemen, without any suspicion of wrongdoing, to enter their most intimate chambers, to visit their wives while the husbands are away, to talk to them, console them, and to support them with their counsel, aid, and influence. Plusius pointed one of them out to us and said, “That’s the one who is held in such contempt these days.” We asked why this was, and he responded, “He is a colleague of that philosopher who used to go every day to visit Pamphila, wife of the nobleman Lysimachus; and after getting rid of any eyewitnesses, he used to spend many hours in her room, just the two of them. This colleague would sit, without any food, in an adjacent room with a chambermaid, quite a pretty girl, and see to it that no one else entered. One day he became tired of waiting and said to the girl, ‘Please tell me, what business are those two conducting in the bedroom? ’ The girl, laughing and cheerful, said, ‘What do you think? That they are encouraging each other’s chastity? Come on! Are you chewing on wormwood or so asleep that you can’t see the obvious? They are giving in to their desires, and rightly so, in my opinion. We, on the other hand, are just sitting here abstaining while acting as their lookouts. Why don’t we also spend the day happily after their example? ’ There was no need for many words to persuade the man, aroused to wickedness by the heat of his age, the allurement of opportunity, and the woman’s words. He remembered the profession of faith and the vow that bound him to Minerva but, believing that the maiden knew better than he, he said, ‘Let others maintain the faithfulness of their vow to 141 Jesuits (although the manuscript keys [see Fig. 5 and 6] identify them as Dominicans). 40 41 42 <?page no="369"?> 370 Eudemia in Ten Books certum est occasionem tam bonam non amittere, sed ad id vela dare, unde flatus ostenditur.’ 416 Atque una opera virgini in gremium illabitur. “Neque id eo tantum die factum est, sed omnibus deinceps diebus, quoties socius in cubiculo clausus navabat operam dominae. Sed tandem, processu temporis, virgini corpus extumescens fecit ut dominus, uxore praesente, eius tumoris causam deposceret et, cum res esset palam ac dissimulari non posset, flagitii auctorem exquireret. At uxor, cui plenum erat corpus fallaciarum et doli, quaeque nosset ancillae dedecus cum ipsius infamia esse coniunctum, iratae similis, ‘Vide,’ inquit, ‘os hominis, ut simulat se nescire quod scit, nec fecisse quod fecit; tanquam sit obscurum ad quem tantum nefas pertineat. Tu, improbe, hanc culpam commeruisti. Me miseram, non posse me, domi meae, cuiusquam, vel ancillae vel liberae, pudicitiam ab istius iniuria defendere! Cum hoc me patiar esse in matrimonio, qui domi pellices habeat et uxoris rem negligat? Ideone 417 tali viro nupsi, ut haec videam, et has contumelias feram? ’ “Ille, qui sibi esset conscius nullum a se virgini vitium fuisse oblatum, uxoris iurgio incensus, quo ostenderet nihil ad se crimen illud attingere, impetum in virginem fecit ac, ‘Mihi,’ inquit, ‘indica cuius sis gravida.’ Sed cum illa dissimularet, ne cum alterius flagitio dominae praeterea dedecus invidiosa proditione detegeret, ardentius inflammatus, ‘Non potero,’ inquit, ‘hodie a te verum exculpere? ’ Eductumque pugionem in virginis guttur intendit et continuo eam se iugulaturum interminatus est, nisi indicaret, qui prior ipsi pudicitiam pepulisset. 418 Quae tandem, mortis metu adducta, ab hoc viro castissimo se fuisse vitiatam exposuit, dum socium intus cum domina conclusum exspectat. “Ille, tanquam furiis actus, ad aedes philosophorum accurrit; magistrum appellat, flagitium in virginem admissum exponit ac, nisi clamore et conviciis impleri totam urbem postulet, impurum illum tanquam noxam sibi dari contendit, quo eius supplicio atque cruciatu dolorem suum lenire et saturare animum possit. Magister suo ab alumno crimen depellere, ac peccare eum largiter dicere, qui tantam philosopho illi, viro sanctissimo, infamiam creet, quo nemo ea in 416 Cic. De or. II.XLIV.187: “accipio quod datur et ad id, unde aliquis flatus ostenditur, vela do.” 417 Ideo ne 1645 418 Cf. Plaut. Epid. IV.i.541: “Plane hicine est, qui mihi in Epidauro primus pudicitiam pepulit.” 43 44 45 <?page no="370"?> Book Seven 371 Minerva. I certainly won’t let such a good opportunity go to waste, but will set sail where the wind is blowing! ’ And he sank at once into the maiden’s bosom. “And he didn’t only do it that day, but every day thereafter, as often as his companion was locked in the noblewoman’s bedroom servicing his mistress. Finally, however, in time the maiden’s body swelled up, such that the nobleman Lysimachus demanded to know, with his wife present, what the cause of her bump was. Since the matter was clear and the maiden couldn’t hide it, Lysimachus asked who was responsible for this shameful deed. The wife, whose heart was full of tricks and deceit, and who knew that the maiden’s shame was joined to her own disgrace, feigned anger and said, ‘Look at the impudence of this man pretending not to know what he knows or to have done what he did. As if it’s any mystery whose fault this is! Wicked man, you are guilty of this crime. Poor me! I’m incapable of protecting anyone’s chastity from his assault in my own home, whether it’s a maidservant’s or that of a free woman! How can I tolerate being married to this man, who keeps mistresses at home but neglects his wife’s needs? Did I marry a man of this rank, only to have to see such things and tolerate such insults? ’ “Lysimachus, aware of the fact that he had committed no sin against the maiden, was angered by his wife’s abuse. In order to prove that this crime had nothing to do with him, he attacked the maiden, saying, ‘Tell me who got you pregnant.’ Since the maiden was keeping their secret—so as not to reveal, out of a hateful betrayal, the noblewoman’s indiscretion together with the shame of the other man—Lysimachus became even more incensed, saying, ‘Do you think I won’t be able to wring the truth out of you today? ’ He pulled out his dagger and brought it up to the maiden’s throat, and he repeatedly threatened to slit it unless she told him who had taken her virginity earlier. Fearing for her life, the maiden finally revealed that she had been violated by that very chaste man, while he was waiting for his companion who was locked in the room with the noblewoman. “Lysimachus, as if driven by the Furies, ran to the house of the philosophers, summoned their leader, and related the crime committed against the maiden. He demanded that, unless he wanted the entire city to be filled with shouting and noise, the filthy man be handed over to him as a criminal, so that, through his punishment and suffering, the husband could alleviate his pain and assuage his mind. The head philosopher deflected the crime away from his protégé, saying that Lysimachus was the real sinner, because he was bringing forward such dishonor against that philosopher who was a most holy man; and that no one in that household was more honest or chaste than he. Lysimachus insisted on the fact, and the head philosopher denied it. But when the nobleman raised his voice more, the head philosopher, fearing that the neighbors would come 43 44 45 <?page no="371"?> 372 Eudemia in Ten Books domo neque frugalior neque castior inveniretur. Ille instare factum; magister negare factum. Sed cum ille altius vocem tolleret, veritus magister ne concursus vicinorum fieret ac facinus divulgaretur, blande hominem aggreditur ac domum ut abeat rogat; se enim rem tantam inquisiturum neque impunitam dimissurum. Qua ille oratione impulsus paululum iram supprimere et, quoad magister promissi sui summam expleret, exspectare constituit. “Interim philosophus qui stupri fuerat accusatus, magistri iussu in carcerem conicitur et poculum, ubi cicuta vino diluta erat, affertur, atque optio eidem datur ut vel illud hauriat, quo hausto horae unius intervallo vitam amittat, vel testes demetendos exhibeat. Ille, subductis rationibus, satius existimans esse quovis modo quam nullo, testes lubens obiecit. Aliquanto post, obducto iam vulnere, magister Lysimachum convenit rogatque num de alumni sui innocentia certior sit adhuc. Ille audacter nihil sibi certius esse respondit quam ab homine illo nequissimo fuisse virginem vitiatam; nec posse rem dissimulari. Tum magister, ‘Iam faxo intellegas quanto in errore verseris.’ Ac vervecem illum venire iubet et, praesente Lysimacho, vestes ponere. Quo facto nudatum genitalibus inguen aperuit. Tum magister, tanquam commotus, ‘Quid ais? ’ inquit. ‘Hicne idoneus tibi videtur qui mulieres praegnantes faciat? Quem inde a puero exectum, iam pridem ob insignem vitae innocentiam Matris Magnae antistitem esse creatum oportuit? Tu posthac, cum agitur boni cuiuspiam viri existimatio, linguam comprimas, si sapis, nec continuo falsis hominum de illo rumoribus aures praebeas.’ Ille his praestigiis profecto delinitus est ita, ut ubi esset nesciret, nec haberet in praesentia quid responderet. Quamobrem tum iudicium, quod Minervae alumnum invidioso crimine diffamasset, tum uxoris iram metuens, statuit cum ea redire in gratiam et sibi ipsi non credere.” Adeo delectavit me vafra illaec a 419 magistro familiae suae existimationi hominum vindicandae suscepta ratio, ut non alias magis hominis cuiusquam sagacitas et solertia maiorem in admirationem impulerit. Sed Gallonius, “Ostendam,” inquit, “vobis, si vultis, senem illum muccidum, qui acetum pro vino misit.” Respicimus ac videmus senem siccum, incurvum, rugosum, colore mustellino, 420 capillo subnigro neque ulla adhuc canicie infec- 419 illaecce 1637, 1645. Mark T. Riley suggests this emendation to illaec a. 420 Ter. Eun. IV.ii.688-9: “hic est vietus, vetus, veternosus senex, / colore mustelino.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 30. The note to the Loeb edition regarding the phrase colore muste- 46 47 <?page no="372"?> Book Seven 373 running and that the crime would become public, gently approached the man and asked him to go home. The head philosopher promised to investigate such an important matter and not to dismiss it without punishment. Persuaded by these words, Lysimachus checked his anger somewhat and resolved to wait until the head philosopher had made good on his promise. “In the meantime, the philosopher, accused of rape, was thrown in jail on the head philosopher’s orders, and he was given a cup containing hemlock diluted with wine. He was given the choice of either drinking it, after which he would die within the hour, or he could consent to being castrated. After deliberating, the philosopher—thinking that being alive under any circumstances was preferable to not being alive at all—gladly presented his testicles to be cut off. Sometime later, when his wound had healed, the head philosopher met with Lysimachus and asked whether he had become more convinced of the innocence of his protégé. Lysimachus said confidently that, to him, nothing was more certain than that the maiden had been violated by that most wicked man, and that the matter could not be dropped. Then the head philosopher said, ‘I will now make you see how mistaken you are.’ He ordered the gelding to come take his clothes off in front of Lysimachus. In doing so, he exposed his groin with its missing testicles. Then the head philosopher, as if moved, said, ‘What do you have to say? Does this man seem capable of getting a woman pregnant? This man who was castrated a long time ago when he was a boy and whom, on account of the manifest integrity of his life, it was fitting to make a priest of the Great Mother? From now on, when the reputation of a good man is on the line, keep your mouth shut, if you know what’s good for you, and stop constantly filling people’s ears with false rumors about him.’ Lysimachus was so cowed by this deception that he didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t have any ready response. Because of this, fearing other people’s opinion of him—because he had slandered a devotee of Minerva with a hateful crime—and his wife’s ire, he resolved to get back into her good graces and not even believe himself.” The cunning means that the head philosopher employed in order to vindicate the reputation of his household in public opinion so delighted me that nobody’s shrewdness and cleverness has ever persuaded me to greater admiration. Gallonius said, “If you like, I will show you that sniveling old man who sent over vinegar instead of wine.” We looked over and saw a skinny old man hunched over, wrinkled, the color of a weasel, and with blackish hair that was not yet discolored with any gray. He was being asked, from out of a whore’s window, what he wanted from that house. Merlinus said, “Open up, I need to talk to you.” The whore replied, “I don’t have time right now, I am busy with my lover.” But Merlinus immediately shouted, “Give me back the money you stole, 46 47 <?page no="373"?> 374 Eudemia in Ten Books to; qui meretricis de fenestra sciscitabatur, quid ipsi ab illis aedibus deberetur. Merlinus, “Aperi,” inquit, “te mihi est opus conventa.” Meretrix, “Non est,” ait, “operae in praesentia; cum amatore meo sum occupata.” Sed continuo Merlinus exclamavit, “Redde mihi argentum quod surripuisti, venefica. Ego te impudicam, non etiam rapacem existimabam.” Mulier, flocci eum non faciens, abiit ac frustra litigantem reliquit. At senex nihilo minus clamabat, “Redde argentum, impura. Nam nisi reddis, hic te pipulo differam ante aedes.” 421 Gallonius accurrit, quaerit pro amicitia de eo quid factum sit, quod ita clamet? Ille, “Solebam me,” inquit, “a prandio, animi causa, in domum istius propudii conferre ac pomeridianas cum ea horas in lecto traducere. Hodie cum ex consuetudine cum ea iacerem, furtim e lecto desiluit atque mea ad femoralia recta iter habuit, mihique nihil tale suspicanti marsupium eisdem annexum exenteravit 422 ; postea rediens, institit, oppressit ut surgerem atque amatori cuidam suo, qui maximo sibi usui esset, locum darem. Ego surgo, obtempero, morem gero; abeo; venio ad Ianum, ut pauxillulum nummorum, quod de ratiuncula amico debebam, exolvam; manum in crumenam infero ac nihil in ea relictum invenio; parenticida ista omnem illi animam intertraxerat.” Sed dum Merlinus infelix crumenae suae fatum deplorat, adest qui nuntiat senem illum morosum, qui erat in exspectatione, subita correptum febri lecto teneri nec, de medicorum sententia, posse tuto mari se credere. Nauclerus Deae Febri gratias agens, quod vomitum illum a sua navi removisset, adolescentem medicum, de quo diximus, introducit. Nos semel, iterum ac tertio Gallonium amplexati, valere iussimus, et vitam Neptuno commisimus. Liber VIII Ex omni hominum numero qui erant nobiscum in navi, unum omnes adibant, circumstabant; rogabant quonam pacto Fortuna ita repente ex summis opibus redegisset ad incitas 423 militem quendam, cuius nomen non memini, ex quodam honorariorum militum ordine, cuius ipse auctor extiterat. Etenim in iis regionibus plures eiusmodi militum ordines inveniuntur, qui ϒ Graecum palliis assutum lino reads: “Donatus tells us that Terence here mistranslated the Greek original, which compared the eunuch to a lizard (γαλεώτης), not to a weasel (γαλῆ).’” 421 Plaut. Aul. II.ii.445-6: “nisi reddi / mihi vasa iubes, hic pipulo te differam ante aedis.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 31. 422 Plaut. Epid. II.ii.185: “acutum cultrum habeo, senis qui exenterem marsuppium.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 32, who also refers to III.iv.511 of the same play: “meum exenteravit Epidicus marsuppium.” 423 Plaut. Trin. II.iv.536-7: “em nunc hic quoius est ut ad incitas redactust! ” 1 <?page no="374"?> Book Eight 375 you witch! I thought you were shameless, not greedy to boot! ” Taking no notice of him, the woman went away and left the man arguing in vain. But the old man kept yelling anyway, “Give me back my money, you filthy woman! If you don’t give it back, I will ruin your reputation by scolding you right here in front of your house.” Gallonius ran over and asked, in the name of their friendship, what happened and why he was yelling like that. He replied, “I usually came to this wretched woman’s house just for fun after lunch, and I whiled away my afternoon hours with her in bed. Today while I was lying with her, per my usual routine, she secretly got out of bed, went straight for my trousers, and—with me completely unsuspecting—she disemboweled the wallet that was inside them. Afterward she came back, approached me, and insisted that I get up and give up my place to some lover of hers who was especially profitable for her. I got up, obeyed, did what she wanted, and left. I arrived at Janus Gate to pay off a little bit of the money I owed to a friend from a settling of accounts. I put my hand in my wallet and found nothing left—that murderer had sucked all the life out of it.” While Merlinus was sadly lamenting the fate of his wallet, someone came and told us that that peevish old man, whom we had been waiting on to board the ship, had been struck by a sudden fever, was bedridden, and, according to the opinion of the doctors, did not think he would be able to set sail. The captain gave thanks to the goddess Febris for removing that barf bag from his ship, and instead he brought on board that young doctor we had talked about. After embracing Gallonius once, again, and a third time, we both said goodbye to him, and we entrusted our lives to Neptune. Book Eight Of the entire group of people who were on board the ship with us, there was one man whom everyone was approaching, standing around, and asking why Fortune had suddenly reduced a certain soldier (whose name I don’t remember) to dire straits from a condition of extraordinary wealth. He was from some order or other of honorary soldiers, an order he himself had founded. Indeed, there are many of these sorts of military orders in these parts, who wear a Greek ϒ (upsilon) sewn onto their cloaks with silk thread, either white or red, and either simple or interlaid with silver and gold, as the rule of each order dictates. 142 They were asking what responsibility such a lucky soldier bore for Fortune suddenly turning her back on him. The man told us that Fortune had never smiled on the 142 A reference to the prevalence of the Catholic chivalric orders, such as the Supreme Order of Christ or the Order of Saints Maurice and Lazarus. 1 <?page no="375"?> 376 Eudemia in Ten Books gestant ex serico, sive albo, sive rubro, sive simplici, sive argento auroque interlito, prout ordinis cuiusque ratio postulat. Rogabant igitur quanam sua culpa tam fortunato homini ex improviso fortuna terga vertisset. Qui respondit neque illum fortunam unquam respexisse, neque latifundiis praediisque locupletatum fuisse, quorum fructus tantos illos tamque ingentes sumptus sustinerent. Sed mirum est quomodo ita instructus ad malitiam fuerit, ut callidis consiliis ac dolis eam sibi vim auri paraverit, quae tam diu infinitis eius sumptibus suppeditarit. Principio, cum pedem intro in eam insulam tulit, egens, pannosus, alieni indigens, pane victitabat emendicato ab iis qui suarum cenarum reliquiis pauperum inopiam alunt, cum ecce tibi, ex improviso auri montes adeptus, ex Iro fit Croesus vel Attalus; atque aedes magnificentissimas, magna mercede conductas, Attalicis peristromatis ornat; penum, granarium, cellam vinariam instruit; ex honestis hominibus familiam cogit; circumpedes multos varia veste induit; quotidie exornat ample magnificeque triclinium; nullum vas exponit nisi argenteum; Cereales mensas dat, quarum reliquiis catillones 424 se complures implebant. Quid multa? Herculi quotidie sacra fieri existimasses. Nummos aureos modio ac trimodio metitur. Rei novitas ad sese omnium oculos attrahit. Spargitur in vulgus, eius domi aurum effici. Atque hic rumor regis sacrorum aures attingit. Qui pro imperio et potestate dat quaestori negotium ut quaerat, investiget, inspiciat num aurei illi nummi, quibus ille circumfluebat, probi sint an adulterini. Qui nullam interponit moram, sed una cum lictoribus hominem adit, aurum proferre iubet. Qui alacris profert. Quaestor nummos sumit; semel atque iterum ac saepius inspicit, ac nihil deprehendit in eis vitii. Miles, quo res clarior atque testatior existat, eorum non parum multos, atque omnes duplos, forcipe caedit, quo melius, si quid forte intus fraudis occultetur, appareat; eosque deinde, tanquam fastidiens, abicit et colligendos lictoribus tradit. Quaestor ita discedit, ut eum et copiose ornatum, et omnis fraudis suspicione vacuum arbitraretur. Id quaestoris arbitrium tantam illi divitiarum opinionem confecit, ut palam omnium ad eum concursus fierent, tanquam ad Midam, ut inaurarentur. Beatus sibi videbatur, qui posset illi aurum credere, quod paucis diebus post pulchre sibi 424 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. VIII n. 1) refers to Macrob. Sat. III.17: “Proprie autem catillones dicebantur qui, ad polluctum Herculis ultimi cum venirent, catillos ligurribant.” 2 3 4 <?page no="376"?> Book Eight 377 soldier, and had never enriched him with estates and farms whose profits could support such great, and so many, expenses. But it is amazing how skilled in vice he was that, with his clever stratagems and tricks, he accrued to himself such a quantity of gold that it covered his unbridled expenses for a long time. When the soldier had first set foot on that island, he was poor, tattered, reliant on others, and was surviving on bread that he begged off the kinds of people who support the poor with leftovers from their own table. Then, all of a sudden, he acquired mountains of gold and went from being like Irus to being like Croesus or Attalus. 143 He decorated his incredibly sumptuous villa, which he rented for a great sum, with rugs worthy of Attalus; he stocked his storeroom, granary, and wine cellar; he put together a household staff of reputable people; he dressed his many servants in colorful clothing; he supplied his dining room, on a daily basis, in an impressive and splendid manner; he only set his table with silver dishes; and he put on meals worthy of the festival of Ceres with leftovers that stuffed many a glutton. What more can I say? You would have thought he made daily sacrifices to Hercules and measured his gold coins by the peck and the triple peck. The novelty of his situation caught everyone’s attention. Word spread that he was producing gold at his house. This rumor reached the ears of the rex sacrorum, who, by virtue of his civil and military authority, assigned the quaestor the task of inquiring, investigating, and examining whether those gold coins, with which the man overflowed, were real or fake. The quaestor did not delay, but he approached the man, along with his lictors, and ordered him to hand over his gold, which the man promptly did. The quaestor picked up the coins, inspected them once, again, and many times over, and did not find anything amiss. The soldier, so the matter would be clearer and more manifest, cut quite a few of the coins with shears—many times and each time in half—so it would be plainly evident if, by chance, something fraudulent were hidden inside them. Then, as if annoyed, he threw the coins on the ground and made the lictors pick them up. The quaestor left believing that the soldier was endowed with great wealth and was free from any suspicion of wrongdoing. The quaestor’s judgment resulted in such regard for the soldier’s wealth that everybody flocked openly to him, as if to Midas, in order to get rich. Whoever was able to entrust his gold to the soldier considered himself lucky because, 143 Irus is the nickname for the beggar Arnaeus in Homer’s Odyssey. The Lydian king Croesus and Attalus I of Pergamon were both famous for their great wealth. 2 3 4 <?page no="377"?> 378 Eudemia in Ten Books faeneratum diceret. 425 Augebat hanc de se opinionem sumptu ac magnificentia. Qua eatenus prodibat, ut certis quibusdam anni temporibus, praesertim Aphrodisiis, Veneris honoris gratia, cui ille militabat, puellis aliquot innuptis vestes praeberet daretque operam omnibus rebus instructum paratumque convivium ut esset, ad quod non solum summates viri amicique omnes, sed quicunque vellent, adhibebantur. Qua liberalitate in eam opinionem homines adducebat, ut pro certo crederent auri conficiendi rationem a plerisque tentatam, sed a nemine adhuc inventam, ipsum solum tenere. Neque ipse dissimulabat. Nam palam saepe multis audientibus dixit, in manu sua esse, paucis horis, nullo fere labore, auri massas quantas vellet, habere. Neque dicto fides aberat. Etenim cum non parum saepe infiniti illi sumptus, quidquid erat domi, nummorum hausissent ac ne teruncius quidem unus vesperi superesset, postridie mane aureorum acervi in mensa conspiciebantur. Oris commendatio et naturalis quaedam virtus orationis non parvam iis, quae dixerat, fidem conciliabat. Ea enim erat sermonis efficacia, ut videretur non posse obsisti. Praeterea tantos sibi spiritus, tantam arrogantiam sumpserat, ut par esse principibus postularet, summorum regum oratores prae se contemneret ac principum civitatis affinitates appeteret. Qui hac fama impulsi, quod illi Iuppiter de caelo aurum plueret, ultro etiam veniebant, ut gnatas ipsi suas in matrimonio collocarent. Sed ex omnibus conditionibus Viae filia placuit, virgo formosissima et regum etiam aliquot stirpi annexa. Iamque prope erat ut in viri manum conveniret (nam convenerat ut ne quid ea dotis ad ipsum afferret); quaeque opus erant ad nuptias, aderant omnia: conopea quae reges etiam ipsos decerent; raedae serico constratae auroque contectae; varia vestis ac sumtuosa ad ornatum epheborum atque circumpedum; aliaque id genus quamplurima. In quibus comparandis aes alienum grande conflaverat. Quod ubi virginis matri oboluit (est enim ea sagacitate, ut decipi non possit), continuo, ex ipsa re, incidit suspectio, “Hem aes alienum contractum, argentum faenori sumptum, credita pecunia res emptae non cohaerent. Nam si fontes auri nosset, ut praedicat, nulla versura, sed praesens pecunia ad res emendas adesset. Profecto huius magnifica verba, ni fallor, aliquid doli alunt.” Atque ab hoc suspicionis aditu ad eius doli cubile ita pervenit. Creditores militis vocat; quid de eo suspicetur, exponit. Dat illis consilium ut praetoris decreto, tanquam si non sit solvendo et fugam adornet, eum abripiendum in carcerem 425 Ter. Phorm. III.ii.93: “Feneratum istuc beneficium pulchre tibi dices.” 5 <?page no="378"?> Book Eight 379 after a few days, he could say he’d been richly rewarded. The soldier bolstered this regard for himself through his spending and generosity. He practiced this to such an extent that, at certain times of year, especially at the Aphrodisia festival held in honor of Venus (under whose banner the soldier marched), he would supply garments to several unmarried girls, and he would see to it that a banquet was set up and prepared with all the trimmings, to which he invited not only the most eminent men and all his friends, but whoever wished to attend. Through his generosity he convinced people to believe, for absolute certain, that he alone held the method for making gold, which many had attempted but, so far, no one had discovered. And he wasn’t keeping it a secret, for, in front of anyone who would listen, he frequently claimed that, in his hands, he could have as many lumps of gold as he wanted within a few hours and with almost no effort. And what he said seemed plausible. Although his endless outlay of funds frequently drained whatever resources he had at home—so that in the evening not even one cent remained—the next morning piles of gold coins could be seen on his table. His eloquence, together with a certain natural virtuosity in speaking, won him a great deal of trust in what he said. Namely, there was a sort of power in his speech that seemed impossible to resist. Moreover, he adopted such haughtiness and arrogance that he insisted on being on par with princes; he held the envoys of the greatest kings in little regard; and he sought alliances with the leading citizens of the city. Persuaded by his reputation (namely that Jupiter was raining gold down on him from the heavens), these noblemen came to him of their own accord seeking to marry their daughters to him. Out of all these marriage proposals, he liked Via’s daughter the best. She was a very beautiful maiden who was related by blood to more than one line of kings. The wedding day was drawing near (they had agreed that she wouldn’t bring a dowry into the marriage) and everything needed for the wedding was at hand: canopies fit even for kings, carriages lined with silk and covered in gold, colorful and luxurious garments for dressing her boy attendants and servants, and many other things of that sort. In purchasing these items, the soldier had run up a large debt. When the maiden’s mother got wind of this (she had the sort of keenness that was impossible to deceive), the very situation made her suspicious. “Well now! He’s run up debts, he’s borrowed at interest, and he’s bought things on credit; this doesn’t add up. If he knew how to source gold, as he claims, he would not need to borrow anything to repay his debts, but he would already have cash on hand for purchasing those items. Unless I am mistaken, his boastful words must surely be sustaining some deceit.” With suspicion as her entryway, she thus arrived at the lair of his trickery. She summoned the soldier’s creditors and explained her suspicions about him. She advised them to make sure, by a decree of the praetor, that he was taken to jail 5 <?page no="379"?> 380 Eudemia in Ten Books curent. Nam si hanc contumeliam tam insignem in se accipiat neque argentum promat quod illis persolvat, manifesta res est: hic merus est sycophanta. Illi consilium laudant, gratias agunt, curriculo ad praetorem eunt, desiderium suum exponunt. Ille, cui militis insolentia erat invisa eiusque immoderati sumptus suspecti, nihil illis est ausus negare, sed iubet ut ante noctem in vincula coniciatur, nisi vel debitum integrum solvat, aut satis vel cauto det. Itaque ille miser lictorum turba circumfusum se antea videt quam aut id leviter odorari, 426 aut aliqua ad ipsum permanare potuerit, praesertim cum animum attendisset ad cavendum. Neque ut socors et ignavus se in eorum potestatem tradit, sed, educto gladio, conatus est ferro viam sibi munire ad fugam. Sed frustra. Nam a duce lictorum percussus in capite, coactus est consistere seque constringendum abripiendumque in carcerem tradere. Ubi paucos post menses ex animi aegritudine diem obiit supremum. Sed compertum est postea nullas illi nuptias cordi fuisse. Unde enim uxorem, eo praesertim genere ortam, cum tanta familia aleret, cui nihil erat in terris ubi in suo pedem poneret, neque aliud aurum vel argentum conficeret, nisi quod dolis atque fallaciis ex aliorum crumenis exprimeret? Sed solum, inquam, fuisse propositum, per simulationem nuptiarum, alios usque ad vivam cutem auro tondere, et in primis mercatorem locupletissimum magno adamantum 427 numero circumducere, qui omnes erant talenta auri ad quinquaginta. A quo si clam, precario vel simulatione emptionis, potuisset auferre, celocem habebat paratam, qua se in patriam reciperet ac fuga rem solveret. Sed in primis ad eos avertendos usus est occasione coniugii atque nuptiarum. Nam ideo se velle eos emere aiebat, ut in veste uxoris Phrygio opere elaborata illigaret insereretque. Itaque frequenter ad domum mercatoris venire; phrygionem etiam cum particula quadam eius vestis adducere; unumquemque adamantem in manus sumere, inspicere; experiri num loculis in Phrygio opere relictis convenirent. Dicere iam diem nuptiarum appetere, sed neque pretium solvere neque certam solutioni diem praestituere; unum instare, de tradendis adamantibus, vehementissimeque contendere. Mercator, qui eos invitus non haberet, “Ne unum quidem,” inquit, “ex his potest a me quisquam auferre, nisi praesenti pecunia.” Ille elate magnificeque, ut consueverat, loqui, ac “Tu mihi,” 426 Lactantius 7.1.11: “veritatem leviter odorari.” 427 adamantium 1637, 1645 6 7 <?page no="380"?> Book Eight 381 by force and treated as a debt defaulter and a flight risk. After all, if he submits to such a significant injury to himself and doesn’t produce the money to pay off his debts, the matter is crystal clear: he’s a pure con man. The creditors praised the woman’s advice, thanked her, ran at full speed to the praetor, and let their request be known. The praetor, who found the soldier’s arrogance detestable and had been suspicious of his unlimited wealth, did not dare deny them anything, and he ordered the man to be thrown in chains before nightfall unless he paid off his entire debt or provided sufficient collateral. Thus the poor soldier found himself surrounded by a troop of lictors before he was able to have the slightest inkling of what was happening, or before anything was able to reach him—especially since he had paid attention to being cautious. He did not surrender himself into their custody like a timid coward, but drew his sword and attempted to effect his escape with his blade. But it was all in vain. He was hit over the head by the chief lictor, was forced to stop, and he handed himself over to be tied up and taken to jail by force, where he died of grief a few months later. It later came to light, however, that he had never wanted to get married. How would he have been able to support a wife with such a large household, especially one born to such a lineage, since he himself had no place on earth he could call his own, and since he wasn’t able to amass any gold or silver, except for what he forged out of tricks, deceits, and other people’s purses? I repeat, his only plan was to fleece others out of their gold, right down to their hides, through a pretense of marriage, and, in particular, to trick that very rich merchant out of large quantities of diamonds, each of them worth around fifty gold coins. If the soldier had been able to secretly take the diamonds from the merchant, either by entreaty or by pretending to buy them, he had a boat waiting to take him back to his homeland and to resolve the matter by fleeing. But first and foremost he used the opportunity of his marriage and wedding for his means of stealing them. He said that he really wanted to buy them so he could affix and sew them onto his wife’s dress, which was worked in the Phrygian style. 144 He therefore frequently stopped by the merchant’s house; and, bringing along an embroiderer with a small piece of his wife’s dress, he picked up each diamond, inspected it, and tested whether it fit in the gaps of the embroidery. He said that the day of his wedding was already at hand but that he could not pay the cost—nor commit in advance to a specific day when he could pay it—and he insisted, and vehemently demanded, that the man give him the diamonds. The merchant kept a firm grip on the diamonds, saying, “No one will take even a single diamond from me unless he has payment at the ready.” The 144 Embroidered (see also Dedicatory Letter, n. 6). 6 7 <?page no="381"?> 382 Eudemia in Ten Books inquit, “formidas credere? Cui alii sexcenta tanta soli enumerarunt, neque sunt decepti in eis. Neque est alter hodie quisquam, cui aeque recte credi homines putent. An nescis quod mox possum te auro totum obruere? ” - “Scilicet ita res est,” mercator ait. “Non possunt aliter a me auferri. Tua isthaec magnifica dicta hinc aufer. Nunquam enim me hodie inducent ut tibi teruncium credam.” At miles, ubi fidem suam sic concidisse animadvertit, continuo despondisse eum animum aiunt. Tum unus, qui sermoni intererat, “Miles hic astu maliciaque victus est,” inquit, “a Geta, qui anno superiore ex ultimis ac remotissimis orbis terrae partibus in eam insulam, unde solvimus, venerat. Hic captus amore Philargyriae, Agathonis clepsydrarum artificis uxoris, munera illi miserat, armillas, periscelides, torques, inaures, anulos. 428 Quae omnia ab aurifice amico suo mercede conduxerat. Sed cum iam suam ex ea libidinem explesset ac pertaesus mulieris avaritiam esset, rationem excogitavit qua ea, quae dederat, eodem unde venerant reverterentur. Quae sane ratio feliciter cessit. Venit die quodam ad mulierem domum, perturbato similis. Quem illa continuo quid tristis sit rogat, quidve turbatus. ‘Quia,’ inquit, ‘mihi litigium fuit cum aurifice, unde emi aurum quo te donavi. Qui quidem insanit de precio, neque quidquam pudet. Et quia scit illud ad te advolasse neque me posse reddere, litium terrore ad suas conditiones conatur attrahere. Ac modo se mihi dicam scripturum ait, modo lictores et carcerem minitatur. Denique multis modis ferox est atque acer. Sed vin’ tu facinus lepidum, quo oculi illi doleant, facere? Redde aurum quod dedi, ut sibi habeat; ita enim illum probe ulciscemur, si ea iterum venalia sit habiturus, quae iam se vendidisse crediderat. Tu interim hanc syngrapham collybisticam cape, nuper ad me domum allatam; unde talenta bina statim accipies, quae vel in novis ornamentis vel, si magis libeat, in faenore collocabis.’ Mulier, quamquam astutia atque malicia infra se alias omnes longo intervallo relinquat, attamen maioris spe lucri, barbari hominis consilio superata est. Et continuo, accepta syngrapha, data omnia restituit. Quibus ille acceptis et aurifici, qui locaverat, redditis, velis remisque contendit in patriam. Mulier vero decepta, talenta illa in somnis exegit.” 428 annulos 1637 8 <?page no="382"?> Book Eight 383 soldier responded loudly and proudly (as was his wont) saying, “Are you afraid to trust me? Other people have handed over to me a thousand times more, and they were not cheated out of their money. There is no other person alive today who is considered equally and properly credible as I. Don’t you know that I will soon be able to utterly shower you with gold? ” - “Indeed, that’s how it stands,” said the merchant. “You won’t have the diamonds from me any other way. Take your fancy words out of here. They will never persuade me to trust you today with even one cent.” They say that the soldier immediately backed down from his plan when he sensed that faith in him was collapsing. Then someone who was listening to the story said, “This soldier was defeated by the cunning and wickedness of Geta, who arrived last year from the farthest and most remote regions of the world to that island we just set sail from. He had fallen in love with Philargyria, wife of Agathon the clockmaker, and he sent her gifts, bracelets, stockings, necklaces, earrings, and rings, all of which he had rented from his friend the goldsmith. But when Geta had already satisfied his desire for her and had become weary of the woman’s greed, he devised a plan by which the items he had given her would be returned whence they had come. And the plan worked like a charm. One day he came to the woman’s house pretending to be distraught. She immediately asked him why he was sad and upset. ‘Because I got into a fight with the goldsmith where I purchased the gold I gave you. He has clearly gone mad with his prices and feels no compunction about it. Because he knows the gold has gone over to you and I can’t return it, he’s trying to use the threat of a lawsuit to force me to accept his demands. Sometimes he says he will bring legal action against me, and other times he threatens me with lictors and jail. In sum, he is cruel and mean in many ways. Do you want to play a funny trick on him that will make his eyes water? Bring him the gold I gave you so that he gets it back. In this way, if he can sell again what he thinks he has already sold, we will indeed have exacted proper revenge. In the meantime, you take this promissory note that a money changer recently brought to my house, and you will immediately get two talents, which you can use to buy new jewelry or, if you prefer, you can loan it out at interest.’ The woman, even though she leaves all other women in her wake, by a long shot, in terms of her cleverness and malice, was nevertheless won over by the hope of greater gain and by the foreigner’s advice. Straightaway she took the promissory note and gave back all the gifts. Geta took them, returned them to the goldsmith, who had loaned them out, and made for his fatherland with all deliberate speed. The woman who had been deceived, on the other hand, counted her coins in her dreams.” 8 <?page no="383"?> 384 Eudemia in Ten Books Dum nos mulieri catae ab homine externo tam pulchre os sublitum fuisse ridemus, ecce tibi lembus contra nos remigio contendit; neque aves neque venti citius. Ubi, cum abesset a nobis propius, hominem inter lictores quatuor medium et catenis vinctum aspicimus. Qui statim a navarcho est cognitus atque, “Apollinis aedituus,” inquit, “a fuga retractus, ad iudicium, vel ad supplicium potius, attrahitur.” Nos, vicio humani generis, incendimur studio cognoscendi ab eo cuiusnam rei capitalis affinis 429 inveniretur. Qui non invitus huic nostrae cupiditati morem gessit. Atque, “Hic,” inquit, “aedituus ingenuum formosum puerum, qua est in his rebus cupiditate, ad insaniam adamabat; ac tundendo atque odio 430 dabat operam sedulo ut in cubiculum suum perduceret. Sed non poterat perficere. Nam puer, gnarus qua de causa arcesseretur, novas semper causas fingebat ne veniret. At ille, libidinis aestu tanquam furiis actus, hanc excogitavit rationem, qua ad se vel invitum attraheret. “Erat puero in deliciis accipiter, ita ab eo assuefactus, ut, missus in sublime, ad ipsum cum praeda in pugnum reverteretur. Hunc, dum puer domo abest, aedituus ad se deferendum curat. Itaque mittit qui pueri verbis eum sibi dari efflagitent, quem dicant in proxima urbi villula aucupio operam dare ac vehementer avem illam cupere in praedam emittere. Familiares, qui nihil suspicarentur, sine mora dederunt. Puer, domum rediens neque accipitrem videns, quid eo factum sit rogat. Illi datum esse aiunt homini misso a se ex proxima villa, ubi aucupabatur. Ille clamare, ac flens dicere nullam a se villam inspectam, nullum aucupium institutum, nullum hominem missum. ‘Sed ubiubi est, diu ille celari non poterit. Nam omnia odorabor, omnium aedes interrumpam, inspiciam, omnes in eis angulos perlustrabo.’ “Sed quaerenti fit obviam aedituus, qui, ‘Scio,’ inquit, ‘quid quaeras. Sed quaerendi operam lucri facito; meae domi tuus est accipiter. Veni, sis; nihil est in me morae, quin statim accipias.’ Puer, cui nihil longius videbatur quam dum accipitrem suum recuperaret, sine alia cura aedituum praeeuntem sequitur eiusque cubiculum intrat. Ille statim pessulum ostio obdit ac misere multis precibus, blanditiis ac promissis puerum, ut sibi sit morigerus, orat. Quae audiens, vix tandem misellus ille in eas se plagas induisse cognovit, quibus nihil antea 429 Cic. Verr. II.II.XXXVIII.94: “neque se usque eo Sthenio esse inimicum ut eum rei capitalis affinem esse diceret.” 430 Ter. Hec. I.ii.123: “tundendo atque odio denique effecit senex.” 9 10 11 <?page no="384"?> Book Eight 385 While we were laughing at the cunning woman, whom the foreign man had so nicely duped, a small boat powered by oars approached us swiftly, neither birds nor winds moving faster. When it got close to us, we caught sight of a man in chains sitting in the midst of four lictors. The captain recognized him immediately and said, “The sexton of the Temple of Apollo has been brought back from his escape, and they are delivering him to judgment, or rather to his punishment.” With the usual vice of the human race, we burned with desire to find out from the captain what capital crime he was found guilty of being involved in. The captain willingly complied with our wish and said, “This sexton loved, to the point of insanity, a beautiful, freeborn boy (he has a penchant for such things). Insistent and annoying, he was unrelenting in luring the boy to his bedroom. But he was not able to succeed because the boy knew why he was being summoned and was always inventing new excuses for why he couldn’t come. The sexton, driven by a burning desire as if by the Furies, contrived the following plan to draw the boy to him, albeit unwillingly. “The boy had a pet falcon he had trained so well that, when he sent it forth into the air, it would come back to him with prey in its grip. While the boy was away from home, the sexton attended to having the falcon delivered to him, and he sent men to insist, on the boy’s behalf, that the falcon be handed over to them. The boy, they said, was engaged in catching birds at a country house near the city, and that he very much desired to hunt prey with his falcon. Unsuspecting, his family handed the falcon over without delay. When the boy came home to find his falcon missing, he asked what had happened to it. His family said that they had given it to the man whom he had sent from the nearby country house where he was hunting birds. The boy cried and wailed, saying that he had never set eyes on that country house, that he had not organized any bird hunt, and that he had not sent anyone. ‘But wherever it is, it can’t be kept hidden for long. I will suss it out. I will break into everyone’s house, and I will search every corner of them.’ “But the sexton came upon the boy as he was searching and said, ‘I know what you’re looking for. Make your search worthwhile; your falcon is at my house. Please come. I will not stand in the way of your getting it back immediately.’ The boy, who couldn’t wait to get his falcon back and wasn’t concerned about anything else, followed the sexton as he went ahead and entered his bedroom. The sexton immediately bolted the door shut and pitifully begged the boy, with many entreaties, compliments, and promises, to succumb to his desires. Hearing this, the poor boy finally realized he had fallen into a trap (he had never before feared anything quite so much as this), and he tearfully began to implore the man to keep the falcon for himself and to just let him go. 9 10 11 <?page no="385"?> 386 Eudemia in Ten Books aeque metuerat; ac multis cum lacrimis orare hominem coepit ut sibi haberet accipitrem, tantum abeundi potestatem faceret. “Aedituus eum modo promissis lenire, modo minis terrere, quo sibi obnoxium redderet. Sed cum nihil proficeret, ad vim confugit. Ac duplex telum exeruit, [ferreum unum, alterum (honor sit auribus) quod eidem ab inguine extendebatur, forma magnitudineque geminum illi atque simillimum, quo Lampsacenus in primis deus ferox est atque terribilis] 431 ; atque, ‘Utrum,’ inquit, ‘vis, elige. Nam velis nolis, alterutrum tibi excipiendum est.’ Horribilis eius [membri] facies fecit, puer animi ut incertus foret, utri necandum se traderet, [ferrone an foedo illi atque exsecrabili palo]. Non enim satis erat exploratum unde levius esset vulnus accepturus. “Sed dum deliberat, venit aedituo ab eius fani antistite 432 nuntius, ut relictis rebus omnibus curriculo ad eum contendat; esse enim ipsi opus eo convento. Qui vocatus accurrit. Puer vero, solutus omni periculo, diis gratias agens, sine accipitre domum revenit; ac vix sui compos ex metu, patri rem omnem, sicuti gesta erat, exposuit, ac, ‘Nisi,’ inquit, ‘bonus ille antistes, quamvis nesciens quid boni ageret, subvenisset, filio tuo [horribili illo telo] discisso disruptoque funus hodie curasses.’ Pater ira percitus ad antistitem venit; aeditui flagitium narrat ac primum diis, tum ipsi se vitam filii referre acceptam ait, qui impuratum illum accersiri iussisset; secus enim ille cruciatu maximo peremptus apud mortuos esset. Antistes aeditui sui nequitiam ferens indigne, amicissimis verbis a se hominem dimittit; et simul se curaturum spondet ne qua in posterum filio ipsius ab illo oriatur iniuria. Neque exspectavit dum ira defervesceret. Sed statim aedituum ad se accitum, ut par erat, obiurgavit iussitque ut statim atque accipitrem ad puerum retulisset, urbe illa, atque adeo tota insula, ante noctem excederet. Qui dicto audiens, sed plenus irae ac malevolentiae, ad pueri domum venit, commodum cum pater abesset, eumque ab ostio provocat foras. Sed casu tum puer, torminibus excruciatus lectuloque affixus, prodire non potuit. At ille accipitrem ancillae cum redderet, cultrum, quem sub veste contexerat, profert, atque, ‘Hic,’ ait, ‘illi totus intra viscera excipiendus fuerat, si prodiisset. Eius enim causa hinc exul eicior.’ Ac statim deinde pateris, patellis, urceis, phialis, acerris argenteis omnibus, quibus Apollini sacra fiebant, convasatis, clam in proximam atque huic imperio subiectam insulam fugit. 431 This passage was edited in the 1645 edition to remove the most salacious parts. The text that appears in the 1637 edition is in square brackets. 432 antistire 1645. The emendation to antistite is from the corrigenda in 1645. 12 13 <?page no="386"?> Book Eight 387 “The sexton, in order to render the boy obedient to his wishes, alternated between mollifying him with promises and terrorizing him with threats. But when this didn’t succeed, he resorted to force and pulled out two spears, one which was made of iron and the other one (pardon the expression) extended out from between his legs, a duplicate of—and very similar in size and shape to—the one that makes the god of Lampsacus especially fierce and terrifying. 145 He said, ‘Choose which one you want. Whether you want to or not, you must choose one or the other.’ The appearance of his terrifying member made the boy undecided as to which one he should surrender to in meeting his death, the sword or that detestable rod. He was not sure which of the two he would receive less injury from. “While the boy was deliberating, the sexton received a messenger from the high priest of the temple telling him to put all business aside and hasten to him at full speed, because the high priest needed to meet with him. Upon being summoned, the sexton hurried off. The boy, freed from all danger, thanked the gods, arrived home without his falcon, and, almost beside himself with fear, told his father everything, just as it happened. He said, ‘Although he was unaware of his good deed, if that good priest had not intervened, you would be arranging a funeral for your son today because, at this very moment, I would be split in two and broken by that horrible spear.’ The father, incited by rage, went to the high priest, told him about the sexton’s shameful act, and said that he owed his son’s life first to the gods and then to him, because he had ordered that pervert to be summoned away. Otherwise his son would have been killed by the greatest form of torture and would now be dead. The high priest was greatly incensed at the wickedness of his sexton, and he dismissed the boy’s father with the friendliest words and, at the same time, promised he would see to it that no harm would ever again come to his son at the hands of that man. The high priest did not wait for his anger to subside, but he immediately sent for the sexton and, as was fitting, scolded him and ordered him to return the falcon to the boy immediately and to leave the city, and even the whole island, before nightfall. The sexton heard this order, but, full of rage and malice, he went to the boy’s home when the boy’s father was conveniently away and called for him outside the gate. By chance, the boy was in the throes of colic and confined to his bed at that time, 145 Lampsacus was an ancient Greek city where Priapus was worshipped, a fertility god thought to be the protector of livestock, fruit plants, gardens and male genitalia. He is traditionally depicted with a sizeable erect penis. The parts about the “second sword” and the “terrifying member” (both references to his penis) were removed from the 1645 edition. 12 13 <?page no="387"?> 388 Eudemia in Ten Books “Ubi in patella ferrea, a caupone apud quem diverterat precario accepta, vasa illa 433 sacra comminuit, ut ad ignem eliquata in unam argenti massam redigerentur. Sed vix ignem sensere, cum strepitus, crepitus, sonitus, tonitrus subito, propere et valide tonuit ita, ut aedes ruere viderentur. Accurrit caupo et familia eius tota, ac patellam illam ad ignem appositam, cum frustulis illis vasorum, et sacrilegum illum, eo crepitu ad terram abiectum aspiciunt. Sublatum magistratibus tradunt. A quibus in custodiam datus, iussus est de vinculis apud ipsos causam dicere. Nunc vero ad antistitem fani, quem expoliaverat, mittitur, ut ibi de eo legibus iudicium fiat, vel potius, ut de confesso supplicium sumatur.” Audierat haec quidam, quem ex supercilio, quadam quasi nube obducto, promissaque barba ac dentibus atris, esse sapientem intelleximus; qui, suspirio alte petito, haec contra lascivos amores verba fudit sapientia: “Hei, mihi quis numeret quae fert non sanus amator? Ah, gravis interdum mors venit atra minus! Saepe sibi misero sua gaudia luget ademta, saepe dolet laesam conqueriturque fidem. ‘Solane mortales,’ inquit, ‘periuria mentes 5 versant? Ah nullum crede, fidele caput! Tamne cito fugiat, venit quae sera voluptas? Tam fixus tristi sit mihi mente dolor? ’ Vera quidem memorat: duro est de marmore damnum, sed bona de fragili dixeris esse luto. 10 At tibi si placeat stabilis simplexque voluptas, 433 illo 1645 14 15 <?page no="388"?> Book Eight 389 so he was unable to go outside. The sexton, while he was handing the falcon over to a maidservant, pulled out a knife that he kept hidden under his cloak and said, ‘If he had come out, the boy would have gotten this entire knife in his gut, because it’s his fault that I’m being cast into exile.’ And he immediately packed up all the silver bowls, dishes, jugs, drinking vessels, and the boxes of incense he used for the sacred rites to Apollo, and he secretly fled to the adjacent island, which is under our jurisdiction. “When he got there, he broke the sacred vessels into an iron plate that he had begged off the innkeeper where he was lodging, with the intention of refining them in the fire and melting them into a single lump of silver. The items had barely touched the flames when a din, a crash, a loud noise, and a crack of thunder rang out so suddenly, so quickly and powerfully, that the house seemed to be caving in. The innkeeper and his entire family rushed over and looked at the plate that had been placed on the fire, together with the shards of dishes, and they saw that the crashing noise had thrown that sacrilegious man to the ground. They picked him up and handed him over to the magistrates who put him in jail, and he was ordered to plead his case before them in chains. Now he is being sent to the high priest of the temple he plundered so he can be put on trial according to the law, or rather, so punishment can be exacted from him once he has confessed.” A certain person was listening to this, who, from the way his eyebrows were knit together like a cloud, his long beard, and his black teeth, we understood to be a wise man. He drew a deep breath and poured forth these wise words against wanton love affairs: “Alas, who can count for me the things that an irrational lover endures? Ah, sometimes not even grievous death is as dark! A poor lover often mourns the joys that he has been deprived of, and often grieves and laments his wounded faith. He asks, ‘Do mortal minds engage only in false oaths? Believe nothing, you trusting man! Does pleasure, that is so slow to come, flee so quickly? Is this pain so firmly set in my sad mind? ’ Indeed, the things he says are true: injury is made of hard marble, whereas, you might say, good things are made of fragile clay. But if you enjoy steadfast and simple pleasure, it can only be summoned from heavenly places. Or if you seek a partner and a similar disposition in love, you must entrust your intention entirely to blessed God; only in this way can mutual ardor take hold—the rest is just deception by covert tricks. And you will not draw true solace, or joy untainted with impure stains, from anywhere except heaven. But as for the things that shine brightly, as soon as you see them change their appearance, you will wish you had not touched them. Mark my words, they become unsettled and are similar to a clear sky that does not always show its lovely face. Oh, how often does the day, which had been cloudless, seem to suddenly become enveloped in a black fog! How many people do you see, who are 14 15 <?page no="389"?> 390 Eudemia in Ten Books illa est aethereis sola vocanda locis. Vel si par petitur similisque in amore voluntas, mens est in facili tota locanda Deo. Mutuus inde potest contingere pectoris ardor. 15 Cetera sunt tacitis insidiosa dolis. Et nusquam nisi vera trahes solatia caelo, gaudiaque impuris non violata notis. At quae pulchra nitent, mutatos reddere vultus tam cito cum videas, nec tetigisse velis. 20 Lubrica sunt, moneo, liquidoque simillima caelo, quod nunquam nitido iugiter ore micat. O quoties subito nigra caligine claudi est visus, fuerat qui sine nube, dies! Quam multos videas laetos tumidosque secundis 25 rebus post liquido rore rigare genas! Fortunae celeri versamur turbine, vasto 434 navis ut in pelago, dum furit aura Noti. Nam modo quae saliens feriit vaga sidera, puppis Tartara praecipiti tendit ad ima pede. 30 Quam saepe aurata conspectus nuper in aula cogitur in viles pauper abire casas! Nulla fides igitur sit inanibus addita rebus; quae permista malo damna pudore ferunt. Ingeniique bonis securus nitere. Namque haec 35 firma manent; mutant caetera saepe vices. Dumque licet, pulchris animum virtutibus orna, innocuos peragens et sine labe dies. Sed longas ne necte moras. Nam diffugit aetas et properans nigro mors venit atra pede. 40 434 rotae 1637 <?page no="390"?> Book Eight 391 happy and confident in their prosperous affairs, later wetting their cheeks with tears! We are spun about in the fast wheel of Fortune, like a ship on the open sea, while the South Wind rages. For, after leaping up and striking the wandering stars, the ship now heads down toward deepest Tartarus at a swift clip. How often has a man just been seen in his gold-covered halls, only to be forced to depart, a pauper, for a lowly house! Therefore, no faith should be placed in vain things, which cause harm when mixed with wicked shame. Safe and secure, strive for the gifts of the mind, for these things remain firm while everything else changes frequently. So long as you are able, prepare your mind with noble virtues and spend your days innocently and without blemish. But waste no time, for the years will pass and somber death will arrive quickly on dark feet; afterward your faults will strike you with belated shame and with even more fear, if shame encounters a guilty heart. If the hours of a misspent lifetime return through my devotions, with what prayers would I wish to beg the gods, after being restored to myself, to repay the damage I have done, and with what prayers could I strive to have new hope in my heart? Are you without fault? If you think back, God was always present to us and new labors remain to be performed, even in the wake of misfortunes: infernal dwellings, fierce Tisiphone, savage monsters horrifying with frightful snakes, black rivers flowing with sulphurous streams, and eternal tears flowing endlessly from your eyes. Prayers by no means move their hard hearts, and any way out is closed to those poor souls, as is the power of salvation; for the doors are firmly sealed shut with hard iron. So do not let the eyes or hair of a young girl harm you, blunt your sharpness, or let your honor be undergirded by misdeed. Truly, if filthy love oppresses you, take the initiative of freeing your neck from the yoke that is holding you captive, and when you have expelled that filthy fire from your pure heart, let such passion no longer burn you with a similar flame.” <?page no="391"?> 392 Eudemia in Ten Books Ac tibi post tardum incutient tua damna pudorem, 435 et mage, si feriat conscia corda, timor. Si redeant votis acti male temporis horae, queis superos precibus sollicitare velim, redditus ut mihimet, commissa rependere damna, 45 spesque simul nitar sumere mente novas? Tuque vaces culpa? Memori si mente recurras, 436 praesentem nobis semper adesse Deum et superesse novos post ardua fata labores: infernasque domos Tisiphonemque feram, 50 saevaque terrificis horrentia monstra colubris, nigraque sulphureis ire fluenta vadis, aeternasque oculis lacrimas sine fine cadentes, quaeque nihil frangunt pectora dura preces; praeclusamque viam miseris nomenque salutis, 55 quod rigido fixae stent adamante fores. Tunc tibi nec noceant oculi crinesque puellae, praestinguatque aciem nec male fultus honor. Quin si foedus amor cervicibus haereat, ultro captivo retrahas libera colla iugo, 60 turpibus ac niveo pulsis e pectore flammis, non tibi post simili ferveat igne iecur.” Videbatur fuisse plura dicturus, nisi orta inter nautas rixa omnem ab eo concionem avocasset. Nam cuncti eam sedatum ierunt. Itaque a corona relictus 437 obticuit neque inceptum carmen et ad finem laborans absolvit. Nos vero soli in stega relicti, occupamur ab uno ex illis philosophis, quos Minervae castitatem suam dicasse supra commemoravimus. Cuius si faciem aspexisses, quantivis 438 435 Ov. Her. I.95-6: “Irus egens pecorisque Melanthius actor edendi / ultimus accedunt in tua damna pudor.” 436 Hor. Sat. II.VI.31: “ad Maecenatem memori si mente recurras.” 437 Cic. Brut. LI.192: “tamen si a corona relictus sim, non queam dicere.” 438 quantumvis 1637 16 <?page no="392"?> Book Eight 393 It seemed like he would have said more if a fight, which had broken out among the sailors, had not called the entire group of people away from him, because everyone went over to calm the fight down. And so, abandoned by his audience, he fell silent and did not finish his poem, which he had begun and was working to bring to a close. We, on the other hand, were left on the deck of the ship and were pounced on by one of those philosophers, who we said before had promised their chastity to Minerva. If you had seen his face you would have thought him a worthy man. Indeed, there was such a severity to his expression and gravity in his gait that you would have said he was Socrates, Xenocrates, or one of the ancient philosophers who, on account of their incredible willpower and innate tendency for abstinence, rejected all pleasures and had a direct 16 <?page no="393"?> 394 Eudemia in Ten Books tibi precii visus esset. 439 Ea enim illi in vultu severitas inerat, ea in incessu gravitas, ut Socratem vel Xenocratem aut aliquem ex veteribus illis philosophis dixisses, qui incredibili robore animi et continentiae indole praediti, respuerunt omnes voluptates et directum ad virtutem iter habuerunt. Hic nos, inquam, aggreditur ac salvere prior iubet. Tum, “Novi vos,” inquit, “nam saepe vidi ire una cum Gallonio in via. Sed quid vobis venit in mentem eam urbem relinquere, qua non facile est in toto orbe terrarum invenire alteram neque venustiorem, neque deliciis pleniorem? Omnino amor, voluptas, Venus, venustas, gaudium, ludus, iocus ibi habitant et amoenitates suas exercent. Quantarum misero mihi, ab ea per vim avulso, voluptatum distractio, dissidium, vasticies venit! Cum me ab ea seiunxi et in navi pedem posui, sensi partem mihi viscerum mearum abrumpi. Sed fieri aliter non potuit; superioris iussum urgebat; obsequendum illius mori atque imperiis fuit; qui me in proximam insulam, sectae nostrae propagandae causa, et in primis castitatis amorem in hominum animis frequentibus ad populum concionibus inserendi gratia, mittit. “At vobis, quantum intellego, ad indagandas percipiendasque voluptates dux defuit. Nam si me magistrum adhibuissetis, in quas vos ego regiones voluptatum deliciarumque deduxissem! Sed facere non possum quin signa et notas locorum indicem; quibus cognitis, si vos illuc iterum redire contingat, velut aurum innumerabiles voluptates ipsi vobis fodere et nullo errore invenire possitis. Facite igitur ut memori haec animo dicta inhaereant. Sed fugit memoria, nisi litterarum praesidio retineatur. Habetis hic tabellas et stylum? ” - “Minime,” inquam, “sed habemus pugillaria.” - “Recte,” ait. “Scribe igitur. Si vos meretricum munditiae capiunt, Claeretam lenam in vico Tusco adite. Ea ad vos puellarum greges adducet, atque eas siccas, succidas, quam lepidissimas, quam 440 adolescentulas maxime; et, quod refert, minime vulgo polluctas; ac tam multas, ut quotidie conditiones mutare possitis. At si virgines vos delectant magis, in Foro Boario Phanostratam petite. Ea semper bolum aliquem habet domi sepositum, quem vobis advenientibus obiciat. Vel, si inveneritis vos ipsi quod ametis, in ea re utilitatem faciet ut cognoscatis suam. Nam ea eloquentia est, ut vel virgines Vestales possit ab earum septis abducere. Verum si nuptae nobiles cordi sunt magis, non est discedendum in hoc genere ab Angello nostri ordinis. Ille solus quantum est ibi matronarum, habet in potestate. Ac vobis indicabit quali unaquaeque earum sit pede, quo femore, quibus brachiis, clunibus. Nam quamvis summe officiosus sit, aeque tamen sui meminit; neque mulierem fere aliquam alteri utendam exhibet, quin sibi quoque usurariam faciat. Ille igitur, honoris mei gratia, summo genere summaque pulchritudine matronas dabit, quibuscum voluptates maximas 439 Ter. An. V.i.856: “quom faciem videas, videtur esse quantivis preti.” 440 quamque 1637 17 <?page no="394"?> Book Eight 395 path to virtue. He approached us, first wished us well, and then said, “I know you! I often saw you walking along the street with Gallonius. What were you thinking leaving that city when it isn’t easy to find another one in the entire world more charming or full of pleasures? Every kind of love, desire, beauty, charm, delight, sport, and jest dwell there and exercise their delights. The destructiveness, distraction, and discord of so many pleasures the city has to offer came down on me (poor thing! ), after I was violently torn away from it. When I extricated myself and set foot aboard this ship, I felt a part of my insides being ripped out of me. But it couldn’t be any other way. I was being pressured by the orders of my superior and had to yield to his will and commands. He is sending me to the neighboring island in order to propagate our religious order and, in particular, to sow in men’s hearts a love of chastity by way of frequent sermons before the people. “But, as I understand it, you lacked a guide to help you seek out and identify the city’s pleasures. If you had brought me on as your teacher, what realms of pleasure and delight would I have led you to! But I cannot do any more than point out the signs and indications of the locales where, once you are familiar with them—if you ever find yourselves in the city again—you can mine countless pleasures, as you would gold, and find them without error. Make sure that my words remain fixed in your tenacious mind; memory is fleeting unless it is retained by the aid of letters. Do you have writing tablets and a pen on you? ” - “No,” I replied, “but we have notebooks.” - “All right,” he replied, “write this down. If you enjoy upscale prostitutes, go to Madam Claereta in the Vicus Tuscus. She will bring you a group of girls who are healthy, compliant, very beautiful, very young, and (most importantly) barely passed around in public— and she will bring so many of them that you can have a new one every day. If you prefer virgins, look for Phanostrata in the Forum Boarium. She always has some nice tidbit stashed away at her house that she can send your way when you arrive. Or if you find something on your own that you love, she will make you see how useful she can be in these matters. She is so eloquent that she can draw even the Vestal Virgins out from their enclosures. On the other hand, if married noblewomen are your cup of tea, for this you should look no further than Angellus of our religious order. He is the only one who has all of the matrons in the city at his beck and call; and he can tell you how the feet, thighs, arms, and buttocks are of each one. Although he is extremely dutiful, he is equally mindful of his own needs, and he hardly ever presents any woman to someone else to enjoy whom he has not first tried himself. Therefore, on account of the regard he has for me, he will provide you with matrons of the highest 17 <?page no="395"?> 396 Eudemia in Ten Books capiatis. Sed distrahit me a vobis debitus Minervae, maiorum gentium numini, a nobis cultus, quo deam quotidie certis quibusdam precibus veneramur, ut sit propitia neque castitati, quam profitemur, maculam aliquam aspergi permittat.” Abeunti Paulus Aemilius, “Grates tibi,” inquit, “agimus. Et si ea nobis repetenda urbs sit, in illo tam vasto deliciarum mari, quod praedicas, imperiti ac rudes, cum eo quem ostendis, cortice nabimus.” Sed eo ab oculis amoto, unus qui furtim eius dicta sublegerat, “O tempora! ” inquit, “O mores! 441 En cui tuas mulieres credas! En cui tuos liberos in disciplinam tradas? Iisdem enim praeceptis teneras illorum mentes effingit, quibus vos conatur imbuere. Et hic homo tam continens ad exteras nationes laudator castitatis publice mittitur! Quem, cum dicere coeperit, concio tota tanquam e sinu Minervae delapsum aspiciet; eo impetu, eo ardore animi, ea gravitate verborum sententiarumque libidinis vitia persequitur. Sed simul ac peroravit, si virginem, vel nuptam, in quam lascivire possit, offendat, statim re ipsa ostendit quaenam sua ipsius sit de tota hac re voluntas atque sententia. Angellum vero, quem nominat, pudet dicere nefanda ex sese quae dedit. Nam quod fecit flagitii, potest populo viritim dividi. Quam multis ille matribus familias pudicitiam expoliavit! Quam multis probrum castis, labem integris attulit! ” Ac sermonem longius protraxisset, nisi interpellatus fuisset faustis acclamantium vocibus, “Euge, evax; venit, venit! ” Nos caput attollimus ac triremes ad triginta celeri adversus nos cursu tendentes aspicimus. Hae dicebantur Parthenium dynastam vehere, virum principem, omnibus naturae fortunaeque bonis cumulatissimum; qui non ita multo ante in eum ordinem allectus, veniebat ut una cum aliis dynastis rempublicam illam capesseret. Ingentes viri principis virtutes, uno ore ab omnibus summis in caelum laudibus elatae, iniecerunt nobis cupiditatem eiusdem non naevo aliquo, sed corpore (ut dicitur) omni cognoscendi. Ac certatim unusquisque huic nostrae cupiditati conabatur occurrere, sed unius tandem aptior ad hoc munus eloquentia vicit; qui, “Si velim,” inquit, “omnia quae de eo dici possunt, exponere, dies me antea deficiat quam oratio. Atque in demortui dynastae locum suffectus, plus illi ordini splendoris attribuit quam ab eo ipse acceperit. Nam quamvis locus ille aeque summis atque infimis pateat nec magis dynasta sit qui ex summo loco, quam qui ex infimo in eum ordinem venit, attamen laude et gloria praestat alius alii longissime. Hic ex longa 441 Cic. Cat. 1.2. 18 19 <?page no="396"?> Book Eight 397 rank and the greatest beauty with whom you can derive the greatest pleasures. But our avowed worship of Minerva, goddess of the greatest peoples, is calling me away from you. We venerate her with certain prayers, so that she will be propitious and not allow any blemish to stain the chastity that we profess.” As he was leaving, Paulus Aemilius said, “We thank you, and if we ever return to that city, we (who are inexperienced and unskilled) will stay afloat in the vast sea of pleasures you describe with the raft you have provided us.” When he was out of sight, however, a man, who had secretly overheard his words, said, “O tempora, O mores! Who can you trust your wife with? Who can you entrust your children to for an education? That man would form their tender minds with the same precepts he just tried to instill in you. That man, who is so reserved, is sent to foreign countries as an official evangelist of chastity! That man, whom his entire audience treats as if he has just sprung forth from the very bosom of Minerva when he starts speaking, denounces crimes of passion with vigor, intensity of conviction, and gravity of words and determination. But as soon as he has concluded his speech, if he comes across a maiden or matron he can have sex with, he immediately demonstrates, in that very same matter, what his own will and feelings are regarding the entire business. I am ashamed, though, to talk about the abominable things that Angellus, whom he mentioned, had a hand in. The scandalous things he has done could be distributed, man by man, over the entire population. He has ruined the purity of so many matrons! He has brought disgrace upon many chaste women and dishonor upon so many virgins! ” The man would have dragged his speech out longer, had he not been interrupted by the cheerful greeting of people calling out, “Hooray! Great! He’s here! He’s here! ” We looked up and saw about thirty triremes heading toward us at a fast clip. They were said to be carrying Dynast Parthenius, a nobleman abounding in every advantage of nature and fortune, who had been admitted into that order not long before and was now on his way to rule that state 146 along with the other dynasts. The great virtues of that nobleman—unanimously exalted to the skies by everyone, with the highest words of praise—infused in us a desire to get to know him, not just by some birthmark, so to speak, but by his whole body. Each of us eagerly tried to satisfy our desire, but in the end, the eloquence of a person more suited to this task won out. He said, “If I wanted to relate everything that can be said about that man, the day would not last long enough before I ran out of words. Elected to take the place of a deceased dynast, he lends more grandeur to that position than he will derive from it himself. Although the position of dynast is equally available to the highest and lowest men, 146 Eudemia 18 19 <?page no="397"?> 398 Eudemia in Ten Books planeque innumerabili regum maximorum serie ortus, in ipso aetatis flore, et in summa rerum omnium affluentia legem sibi ipse indixit innocentiae virtutumque omnium. Atque si, detractis omnibus vitiis, fingendus nobis sit omni laude cumulatus dynasta, 442 hic profecto quasi forma est et character eorum. Et quemadmodum nihil est tam in aliquo genere perfectum, quin perfectius sit id unde illud, tanquam ex ore aliquo, quasi imago exprimitur, 443 ita etiam, si quis sese ad eiusdem vitae similitudinem formet ac fingat, longe infra eius excellentiam inveniatur. Nullae latent in eius animo ad occultandas insidias latebrae, nulli recessus, nulla sunt illi ad decipiendum instructa in corde consilia, nulla infuscata malevolentia, vel assueta mendaciis, vel fucata, vel fallax, vel erudita artificio simulationis ratio inest. Pietatem, religionem, iustitiam sua sponte, non quaestus aut commodi cuiusquam gratia colit. Praeterea praestat ingenio, eruditione, doctrina. Domus eius litteratorum hominum frequentia celebratur ita, ut quaedam velut officina sapientiae existimetur, 444 ubi statim ex omnium ingeniorum flore Academia excitabatur; quorum doctissimis sermonibus, qui harum politissimarum artium studio tenentur, mirifice delectentur atque proficiant.” Sed attentos nos interpellavit subitus nautarum cachinnus ac sibilus; quos navarchus, vir prudens, qui sciret quid riderent, acri castigatione compescuit ac tacere iussit. Nam cum respexissent, triremes quatuor viderant, quae dynastas aliquot in regnum Geryonis reportabant, unde ad regis sacrorum comitia velis remisque contenderant, persuasi a mathematicis, qui ex positione astrorum praedixerant, intra paucos dies regem qui tunc rerum potiebatur, Orco destinari. Sed cum vidissent mensem ab ea praedictione iam elapsum esse, neque spem aliquam ostendi ut apud inferos regis dicam ex urna Minos educeret, tristes nec sine risu, eodem unde discesserant, revertebantur. 442 Cic. De or. I.XXVI.118: “Sed quia de oratore quaerimus, fingendus est nobis oratione nostra, detractis omnibus vitiis, orator, atque omni laude cumulatus.” 443 Cic. Orat. II.8: “Sed ego sic statuo, nihil esse in ullo genere tam pulchrum, quo non pulchrius id sit unde illud ut ex ore aliquo quasi imago exprimatur.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VIII n. 4. 444 Cic. Orat. XIII.40: “in quo cum doceret eos qui partim in dicendo partim in scribendo principes exstiterunt, domus eius officina habita eloquentiae est.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VIII n. 5. 20 <?page no="398"?> Book Eight 399 and a dynast is not considered any greater because he comes to that rank from the highest or lowest station, nevertheless some dynasts are greatly superior to others in praise and glory. This man, born from a long and a clearly innumerable line of great kings, 147 in the very flower of his youth, and at the point of greatest abundance in all of his attributes, imposed the law of abstinence and the highest virtue upon himself. If we are to imagine a dynast from whom every blemish has been removed, and who is rich in every merit, this man was certainly the very model and character of those men. And just as there is nothing of any sort so perfect that it is not excelled in perfection by the original of which it is a copy—like a mask is a copy of a face—in the same way, if anyone should form or fashion himself to imitate that dynast’s life, that person would be judged far inferior to him in terms of excellence. That dynast has no hiding places lurking in his mind and no recesses for concealing treachery. He has no plans for trickery drawn up in his heart. He harbors a mindset that is not darkened by malevolence, not accustomed to lies, not counterfeit, not deceitful, and not trained in the arts of pretense. Of his own accord he cultivates piety, religion, and justice, and he does not do so for any sort of profit or advantage. Moreover, he excels in talent, education, and learning. His home is frequented by crowds of learned men, so much so that it is considered a veritable workshop of wisdom where an academy was immediately formed from the flowering of all the minds that gather there. 148 Those who are ruled by a zeal for the most refined arts are marvelously delighted, and they profit from these men’s most learned orations.” As we were listening intently, we were interrupted by the sailors’ sudden boisterous laughter and hissing. The captain, a sensible man, knew why they were laughing, and he put a stop to it with a stern reprimand and ordered them to be quiet. When they looked around, they saw four triremes carrying a few dynasts back with all deliberate speed to the kingdom of Geryon, whence they had come, to the assembly of the rex sacrorum. They had been persuaded to go there by some mathematicians who, from the position of the stars, had predicted that the king, who was ruling at that time, was destined for the underworld within a few days. 149 When they had seen that a month had passed from the time 147 Fabio Chigi was the great-nephew of Pope Paul V Borghese. 148 This mention of an academy, born from the great minds who gathered at this man’s villa, might call to mind Paolo Mancini, the founder of the Accademia degli Umoristi (mentioned in Book Three); but the fulsome praise of this man for his honesty, piety, and religion seems excessive with regard to Mancini. Perhaps the villa mentioned here is Palazzo Barberini, also a locus for many literary, musical, and artistic gatherings. 149 Urban VIII believed in astrology and had horoscopes read that predicted the death of certain cardinals in Rome. Beginning in 1626 astrologers predicted Urban VIII’s own death, and by 1628 these predictions were talked about openly. He published a bull against astrologers in 1631 (Giachino 2002: 204). 20 <?page no="399"?> 400 Eudemia in Ten Books Verum amoenitatem, festivitatem, laetitiamque exercentibus ceteris, unum aspiciebamus, seorsum ab aliis, tristem, capite demisso, tabulatum obtueri. Paulus Aemilius, sive misericordia, sive vitio hominum qui otio diffluentes 445 aliena curant, eum adiit rogavitque quid tristis esset, cur, aliis in laetitiam effusis, frontem contraheret aliorumque laetitiae velut oppederet. Qui, “Hanc,” inquit, “mihi tristitiam bellus creat affinis meus, qui sororem mihi suam in matrimonio collocavit. Nam cum domi meae dotem enumerasset, quinquaginta videlicet minas, mihi dat virginem in manum. Ego, tum eius quamprimum potiundae desiderio incensus, quia forma non mala est, tum etiam, ut concubitu firmiores eas nuptias efficerem, cum nova nupta me in cubiculum abdo atque otiosus ab animo argentum ibi enumeratum in mensa relinquo. At bonus ille vir, interea dum me intus cum ea oblecto, sublato argento, clanculum se ab aedibus foras eiecit nihilque mihi reliquum fecit nisi plorare. Eo nunc in proximam hanc insulam, quo profugisse eum aiunt, ut lege iudicioque quod mihi sublatum est persequar, vel potius ut praedoni illi animam adimam.” Cui Paulus Aemilius, “Nae tu flagitiose stultus es,” ait, “qui alteri malum pro bono, iniuriam pro beneficio rependas. Tune satis pro merito gratiam illi referas, 446 qui tibi uxorem, placidam tanquam ovem, reddidit? Non enim, dote freta, ferox esse in posterum poterit, 447 sed te in domini loco verebitur, metuet atque omnibus tibi in rebus morigera erit. Deme igitur supercilio nubem 448 teque una cum aliis hilarem praebe ac, si me audis, domum revertere. Nam si uxor tibi forma est luculenta, ut dicis, cum illic sint voluptarii ac locupletes tam multi, manipulatim munerigeruli 449 ab illis convenient.” Sed cum maxime miserum illum consolari conatur, prodit alter, aeque tristis, atque, “Huic,” inquit, “dos, mihi uxor est elapsa e manibus neque, postquam fugit, inveniri uspiam potuit. Uter ergo nostrum miserior vivit? ” Cui Paulus Aemilius, “Ain’? Fugit? At eam diligentius tuis propinquorumque tuorum custodiis asservatam oportuit. Quod si fecisses, non eam nunc lugeres amissam.” At ille, 445 Cic. De or. III.XXXII.131: “otio vero diffluentes.” 446 Ter. Phorm. II.ii.337: “non potest satis pro merito ab illo tibi referri gratia.” 447 Plaut. Men. V.ii.766-7: “ita istaec solent, quae viros subservire / sibi postulant, dote fretae, feroces.” 448 Hor. Epist. I.XVIII.94: “deme supercilio nubem.” 449 Plaut. Pseud. I.ii.181. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VIII n. 6. 21 22 <?page no="400"?> Book Eight 401 of that prediction, and that there seemed to be no hope that Minos had drawn the king’s lot from his urn in the underworld, they were returning back whence they had departed, despondent but not without laughter. While everyone was engaging in delights, conviviality, and joy, we saw one man standing apart from the rest who was sad, kept his head lowered, and was looking down at the floor. Paulus Aemilius, either out of pity or because of the flaw in men who, wasting away with idleness, meddle in other people’s business, approached him and asked why he was so forlorn, and why, while the rest were giving themselves over to joy, he was furrowing his brow as if to mock the happiness of others. He replied, “My lovely neighbor, who arranged for me to marry his sister, is the cause of my misery. After he had paid out her dowry at my house (namely fifty minae), he gave me her hand in marriage. Inflamed with the desire to have her as soon as possible—because she’s not bad looking—and also to consummate our nuptials, I withdrew with my new bride to the bedroom and, not thinking, I left the money I had been given there on the table. While I was inside enjoying myself with her, that good man took the money and secretly ran out of the house, leaving me with nothing but tears. I am now headed to the neighboring island where they say he has fled, so I can pursue what was taken from me via the law and a judgment, or rather, so I can take that thief’s life.” Paulus Aemilius responded, “Truly, you are shamefully stupid. You are seeking revenge for something bad with something good, an injury with a benefit. You cannot thank him enough for his kindness, because he gave you a wife who will be as gentle as a sheep. She will not lean on her dowry to become emboldened in the future, but she will revere you as a master, she will fear you, and she will be obliging in all things. Therefore, banish that cloud from your brow and allow yourself to be happy with the others. Heed my advice and go home; if your wife’s beauty is as radiant as you say, since there are so many pleasure-seekers and rich people around, the gift bearers among them will be gathering the troops at your house.” While Paulus Aemilius was trying with all his might to console the poor man, another one came forward who was just as forlorn, saying, “This man’s dowry may have slipped out of his hands, but my wife slipped out of mine; and after she fled she was nowhere to be found. Therefore, which one of us lives a more miserable life? ” Paulus Aemilius responded, “You’re saying she fled? Yours and your relatives’ watchfulness should have guarded her more carefully. If you had done that, you would not now be lamenting that she got away.” Then he said, “I even had too tight a grip on her. Because I loved her desperately, and because the frequent comings and goings of young men past my house every day made me suspicious of her, I didn’t allow her to set foot outside the house, even the width of a fingernail. Argus never guarded the cow entrusted to him by Juno as 21 22 <?page no="401"?> 402 Eudemia in Ten Books “Nimis quidem eam arcte habui. Nam et quod misere amabam, et quod crebrae adolescentium quotidie praeter aedes meas itiones 450 reditionesque suspectam mihi reddiderant, ne latum quidem unguem pedem domo sinebam efferre; neque Argus ita vaccam a Iunone sibi commissam custodiebat, ut ego eram oculatus in mea servanda. Cuius rei facultatem meum mihi artificium dabat. Etenim coquus sum ex eo genere, qui nunquam eunt foras coctum, ut ceteri, sed domi quod mihi affertur curo atque ita suavitate condio, ut placere etiam mortuis possit. Quamobrem nunquam mihi opus deest. Verum proximis Cereris vigiliis a me opere petivit maximo, ut se in aedem Cereris ducerem, atque ita apte elocuta est, ut persuaserit. Itaque circiter quartam noctis vigiliam surgo, Vulcanum in cornum includo 451 atque ut me praeeuntem sequatur, iubeo. Imus atque angiportum sordidum ac lutulentum intramus. Sedulo eam moneo ne luto vestigia defigat; atque, ‘Leonica,’ inquam (id est illi nomen), ‘cave lutum, cave lutum, Leonica.’ Respicio; sed Leonica iam e conspectu evolarat. Ego exanimatus accurro, ut euntem persequar. Sed nugae. Noctis enim beneficio occultatam assequi non potui. Nihilo magis tamen quaerendi labori vel operae parco (nimis illa quidem cordi cara est meo), sed perrepto totum oppidum, ad aedem Cereris, ad aedes amicorum propinquorumque, quo non? Nunc statutum est mihi circumiectas huic imperio insulas omnes eam quaesitum adire neque antea quaerendi modum facere quam inveniam, inventamque mecum domum reportem.” Tum Paulus Aemilius, “O stulte! ” inquit. “Quereris te fuisse molestia ac sumptu levatum? Quod si aegre tibi illud est tamen, quod careas uxore, summamque 452 in ea voluptatem ponis; redde huic dotem, quam a tua acceptam retines; tu vero suam ab eo uxorem accipe. Nam si sapit, remittet tibi istam voluptatem, et ea se carere patietur. Ita utrique vestrum, quae optat, evenient: illi dos, tibi uxor. Valete.” Interim ex alto procul insula illa conspicitur, 453 unde aedituum ex fuga retractum esse narravimus. Placuit navarcho illuc navem appellere, ut vinum, quod ibi praestantissimum nascitur, emeret et in navim imponeret. Accedimus, portum intramus ibique adolescentem vita functum audimus qui Dynastae Vio fuerat in amore atque deliciis, quique ex maximis divitiis, quibus ab eo fuerat locupletatus, sua stultitia ad summam sese inopiam atque egestatem adegerat. De hoc adolescente narrabant, cum olim eius dynastae, quem diximus, domi honorarios inter ephebos aleretur ac propter summam eius superbiam insolentiamque ferri non posset, iussum esse domo illa egredi et in malam rem, quantum potest, abire. Itaque ab omni ope desertum se in patriam recepisse; ubi, cum neque arrogantia neque insolentia desisteret, sed nova quotidie designaret, raptum 450 Ter. Phorm. V.ix.1012-3: “haecin erant itiones crebrae et mansiones diutinae / Lemni? ” 451 Plaut. Amph. I.ii.341: “Quo ambulas tu, qui Volcanum in cornu conclusum geris? ” 452 summaque 1637 453 Plaut. Men. II.i.227-8: “maior meo animo quam quom ex alto procul / terram conspiciunt.” 23 <?page no="402"?> Book Eight 403 well as I made sure to keep an eye on what was mine. My trade gave me skills in this arena. I am a chef of the sort who, unlike others, never cooks outside my home, but I season what is brought to my house with care and with such appeal that my food can please even the dead. For this reason I am never lacking for work. However, recently on the eve of the festival of Ceres, my wife begged me, with all her heart, to take her to the Temple of Ceres, and she spoke so sweetly that she talked me into it. I get up just before the fourth watch, 150 enclose Vulcan in my horn, 151 and order her to follow me as I walk ahead. We go there and we enter a narrow lane that is filthy and muddy. Attentively, I warn her not to step in the mud, and I say, ‘Leonica (that is her name), watch out for the mud! Watch out for the mud, Leonica! ’ I looked back, but Leonica had already flown out of my sight. Out of breath, I ran and followed her as she was racing ahead—but it was no use! Because she was hidden by the advantage of night, I wasn’t able to keep up with her. Nonetheless, I spared no labor or effort in searching (she is too dear to my heart) but I crawled through the whole town, to the Temple of Ceres, to the houses of my friends and neighbors—where did I not go? Now I am determined to visit all of the islands surrounding this kingdom in search of her, and I will not stop looking until I have found her. And once I have found her, I’ll bring her back home with me.” Then Paulus Aemilius said, “You fool. Are you complaining that you’ve been freed from annoyance and expense? If you are so troubled that your wife is gone, and she is the source of your greatest joy, give the dowry you received from your wife to this man, and you take his wife off of his hands. If he is smart, he will leave that joy to you, and he will manage being without her. In this way each of you gets what you want: he gets a dowry and you get a wife. Good day.” In the meantime, out to sea we saw the island in the distance from where, as we said, the sexton had been brought back after his flight. The captain decided to put the ship ashore on the island so he could purchase the very excellent wine that is produced there and load it onto his ship. We approached and entered the port where we heard about the death of a young man, whom Dynast Vius loved and considered his darling, and who had driven himself—by his own stupidity—into a state of extreme poverty and need after having the greatest wealth, with which he had been enriched by Vius. They were discussing the time when this young man was once employed as a page in the dynast’s household. On account of his extreme arrogance and insolence, no one could stand the young man and he was ordered to leave that house as soon as possible and go to the devil. Deprived of any support, the young man took himself back to his 150 Between 3 and 6 a.m. 151 = light a lamp 23 <?page no="403"?> 404 Eudemia in Ten Books fuisse aiebant in vincula; sed ea solita audacia rupisse ac rursus ad dynastam ex fuga venisse; egisseque per amicos interpretes summates viros ut, honoris ipsorum gratia, apud illum in veterem amicitiae gratiaeque locum restitueretur. Quibus dynastam audacter respondisse se quidvis antea passurum quam talem domi suae virum habere. Tum demum illum, de hac spe deiectum, novam tentare fortunam, novasque amicitias experiri constituisse; atque eadem opera lembum conscendisse. Sed operae pretium est intellegere quemadmodum Neptunus, qui nosset fortunam quam ille quaereret, esse in ea terra quam linqueret, eum a mare repulerit. Evolarat iam e conspectu lembus, ventis operam dantibus, cum Neptunus iussit Aeolum receptui canere ac ventos navigationi illi secundos contrahere vinculisque constringere, adversos autem solvere, qui mare commoverent eodemque, unde solverat, lembum impellerent. Ille, Neptuni imperiis obsequens, ventos illos e carcere eductos immisit in mare. Sed vix eruperant, cum, impetu facto, lembum invadunt ac versoriam capere 454 seque ad relictas regiones recipere cogunt. Ad litus igitur eiectus, egens ac paene pannosus, quam spem aut opem, aut rebus suis consilii quid capesseret, non habebat. 455 Aberat illis diebus Dynasta Vius ac villarum suarum amoenitatibus fruebatur. Verum aderat Styliolus adolescens, qui tum temporis apud dynastam illum plurimum auctoritate et gratia pollebat. (Nam eximium semper aliquem habuit ignavum, inertem, sine gente, sine nomine, cui praemia rei pecuniariae magna tribueret, locupletemque ex egente, neque tam dicto audientem, quam sibi imperantem efficeret.) Sperabat igitur, si commendaticias eo ab adolescente ad dynastam litteras accepisset, fore sibi in proclive quod cuperet. Itaque astute ac maliciose hominem adiit atque his verbis alloquitur, “Emanavit in vulgus commeruisse me culpam, quam propter dynasta me domo foras eiecerit; idque magnam ea res mihi offensionem et contemptionem apud omnes attulit. Oro, obsecro ut mihi subvenias et conceptam hanc nomini meo maculam deleas, quae omnes cogitationes, omnia consilia, omnes spes meas evertit. Te deprecatore, dynasta nihil denegare cuiquam audet. Scribe ad eum ut mensem unum, neque eo amplius, me suorum familiarium loco ac numero habeat; quo elapso, ipse 454 Plaut. Trin. IV.iii.1026: “cape vorsoriam, Recipe te ad erum”; Plaut. Merc. V.ii.875: “cape modo vorsoriam.” 455 1637: “quam spem aut opem capesseret, aut rebus suis consilii quid capesseret, non habebat.” 24 25 <?page no="404"?> Book Eight 405 homeland, where, since he didn’t desist in his arrogance and insolence, but perpetrated unheard-of acts on a daily basis, they say he was dragged off in chains. Availing himself of his customary audacity, he broke free of the chains and came back from his flight to the dynast, and he set his mind—through his friends and go-betweens, all of whom were eminent men—to being reinstated to his former place of friendship and favor with the dynast, thanks to his friends’ esteem. The dynast responded frankly that he would sooner put up with anything else than host such a man at his house. Finally, deprived of hope, the young man decided to try his hand at new fortunes and to find new friendships, and he immediately boarded a small boat. It is important to understand, however, how Neptune—who understood that the fortune the young man was seeking was located in the country he was leaving— drove him back from the sea to the shore. The winds were blowing hard, and the small boat had already sped out of sight when Neptune ordered Aeolus to signal a retreat; to check the winds that were favorable to his voyage by confining them in chains; and instead to release unfavorable winds that would agitate the sea and drive the small boat back to the same place whence it had set sail. Aeolus obeyed Neptune’s orders, released the winds from their confinement, and sent them out to sea. The winds had barely broken free when they assaulted and attacked the boat, turned it around, and forced it to go back whence it had left. Tossed out onto the beach, destitute, and just about in rags, the young man had no hope, no resources, and no plan that he could adopt to help his situation. Dynast Vius was out of town during that time enjoying the delights of his country estate. A young man named Styliolus was there, who at that time held a very strong position with the dynast because of his influence and charm. (The dynast always chose someone idle, weak, of low birth, and a no-name as his confidant, on whom he could lavish great rewards of money, transform from rags to riches, and whom he could render not obedient to his word so much as dominant over him.) The young man was hoping, therefore, that if he received letters of commendation from the young Styliolus addressed to the dynast, he would easily obtain what he wanted. Thus, he approached Styliolus with cunning and wickedness and told him the following: “Word has gotten around that I committed an offense, and that I was thrown out of the dynast’s house because of it. In addition, the matter also brought great disfavor and contempt upon me in everyone’s eyes. I beg and plead with you to help me erase this blemish that has attached itself to my name and ruined my every thought, counsel, and hope. With you as an advocate, the dynast won’t dare refuse anyone anything. Write to him and tell him that he should bring me on, for a period of one month and no longer, to a position within his household. When the month is up, I will consider myself as having fulfilled my obligation; and, if you will allow it, as 24 25 <?page no="405"?> 406 Eudemia in Ten Books me pro expuncto habebo ac, si per te licebit, quasi ab eo exauctoratus, tuam in domum, tanquam in aliam militiam, transibo tibique famulus serviam.” Homo ventosus gloriarumque plenissimus gloriosum sibi fore putavit, si palam fieret homines, dimissa dynastarum familiaritate (quod apud eas gentes honestum in primis existimatur) in beneficio et gratia suam appetere. Itaque inflatum accipit atque ad dynastam litteras dat, in quibus haec omnia exponit et maiorem ab eo in modum petit ut exorari se sinat et adolescenti animum expleat; nihil enim sibi gratius posse accidere quam ut adolescens intellegat se ab eo tantum amari quantum ipse existimat. Obsignat litteras atque adolescenti tradit. Qui statim ad dynastam refert; qui tum ruri erat, ut diximus. Neque dubitavit, aestate summa, meridie ipso, duodecim millium iter pedibus facere. Dynasta, litteris lectis ac vehementi illa commendatione expugnatus, exclamat, “Vincat, dummodo sciat, eum quem commendatum tantopere cupiat, quandoque suis rebus exitio futurum.” 456 Neque ita multo post coepit omnem illi honorem habere; videlicet, ceteris, ut mos est illarum partium, honoris ergo aperto capite coram ipso stantibus, soli innuere ut se tegeret, soli sua consilia credere, soli rerum suarum fidem habere, soli res omnes, quibus aliqua inesset utilitas honorque mandare, illum in oculis ferre, solum adhibere convivam sibi, solum ipsi in cubiculo socium, in raeda proximum esse. Quae ubi Styliolus et litteris multorum, et sermone omnium accepit, sane, ut par est, commotus, scribit ad dynastam mirari se vehementer quod adolescentem nondum sibi remisisset; mensem enim iam praeteriisse; quo elapso, ipsi se ille quodam quasi sacramento obligaverat. Dynasta adolescenti litteras tradit mandatque ut quae sibi videantur, ad illius postulata rescribat. Qui statim Styliolo respondit eius se impudentiam, vel stultitiam potius, satis mirari non posse, quod tanquam a baiulo aliquo mercede conducto suas ab ipso operas exigat, qui plures domi suae alat, honestiore quam ipse sit loco ac genere ortos, qui ipsi latrinam lavent. Quamobrem posthac cavebit malo, si sapiet. 457 Nam si pergit esse odiosus, sentiet quicum ipsi res sit, quemque hominem habere ludibrio postulet. 456 Suet. Iul. I: “vincerent ac sibi haberent, dum modo scirent eum, quem incolumem tanto opere cuperent, quandoque optimatium partibus, quas secum simul defendissent, exitio futurum.” 457 Plaut. Men. I.ii.122-122a: “malo cavebis si sapis, / virum opservare desines.” 26 <?page no="406"?> Book Eight 407 if discharged from his service, I will enter your household as your servant, as though on a new tour of duty.” Styliolus, puffed up and full of boasting, thought that it would be a mark of pride for him if it became public knowledge that men were forgoing relationships with dynasts (which is considered to be especially honorable among those sorts of people) and instead seeking close association with him, in order to gain benefits and influence. He therefore takes the prideful young man on and passes a letter to the dynast in which he lays everything out. With all his might, Styliolus begs the dynast to allow himself to be won over and to fulfill the young man’s wish. He said that nothing would please him more than if the young man had the impression that the dynast loved Styliolus as much as the young man felt he did. Styliolus signs and seals the letter and gives it to the young man. The young man brings the letter immediately to the dynast (who, as we said, was in the countryside at the time), not hesitating to make the twelve-mile journey in the height of summer at high noon. The dynast read the letter and was persuaded by the enthusiastic commendation, exclaiming, “I’ll grant Styliolus his wish, but he must understand that this man, whom he is so eager to commend, will one day be the ruin of his fortunes.” Before too long, the dynast began to pay the young man every honor, that is to say, when everyone was standing before him with their hats doffed out of respect (as was the custom in those parts), he gave the nod to the young man alone to keep his head covered; to him alone he confided his plans; to him alone he entrusted any affairs that held any advantage or honor; he held him in great esteem; he summoned him as his sole dinner guest, as his companion in his bedroom, and as the one who sits by his side in his carriage. When Styliolus learned all of this from many people’s letters and from everyone’s talk, he was, of course, understandably very perturbed. He wrote to the dynast saying that he was greatly surprised that he had still not sent the youth back to him, since a month had already gone by, at which point the young man had bound himself to him as if by a kind of oath. The dynast handed the letter to the young man and commanded him to reply to Styliolus’s demands in whatever way he deemed best. The young man immediately responded to Styliolus that he could not wonder enough at his impudence, or rather his stupidity, because he was demanding services from him, as if he were some hired hand, who employed many people in his house who were of more respectable origin and family than Styliolus himself was, and who cleaned the latrines for him themselves. For this reason, Styliolus should watch his back if he knew what was good for him; and if he continued to pester him, he would come to understand who he was dealing with, and what sort of man he was trying to put one over on. 26 <?page no="407"?> 408 Eudemia in Ten Books Dynasta vero, ex rure in urbem reversus, data perpetuando atque etiam exaggerando, maiora in dies summi in adolescentem amoris signa praebebat. Cui etiam omnibus rebus instrui exornarique cubiculum iussit, conclavi illi impositum, ubi Styliolus cubitare solitus erat. Sed audite hominis insolentiam atque fastidium. Tanta illa apud dominum gratia ferox, totos dies noctesque saltando cursitandoque, eo Styliolum adegerat, ut neque somnum capere, neque alteri cuipiam rei dare operam posset. Is enim erat strepitus, crepitus, sonitus, ut cubiculum una cum ea aedium parte supra caput eius ruere videretur. De quibus iniuriis saepius questum ad dynastam ivit. Sed non aliud ab eo potuit responsum exsculpere, nisi illum esse puerum; puerorum autem iuveniliter exultantium lusus cum risu iocoque ferri oportere. Itaque desperans simulque, quod nimia pueri illius gratia sibi esset invisa, in ultima ac remotissima urbis parte aedes conduxit, eodemque tanquam exulatum abivit. Sed vix e limine pedem extulit, cum puer cubicula in praestantissima aedium parte, quae illius fuerant, occupat ac veterem ab eis possessorem in perpetuum excludit. Sed quo in dies magis auctoritate gratiaque pollebat, eo etiam arrogantius insolentiusque efferebatur. Qua insolentia eatenus progressus est, ut olim in prandio, cum proximus dynastae accumberet, neque quidquam nisi pisces ederet (etenim ex veteri earum gentium religione eo die carnibus vesci religio erat), evenerit (fortasse quia valide fluctuasset mare) ut non quidquam fere piscium captum esset, quique aderant, care indicarentur. Itaque apponebantur illi pisces sane vulgares: sardae, soleae, mituli. Curaverat autem architriclinus ut dynastae siluri libra carissimo empta anteponeretur. Quod ille obsonium, cum praegustasset ac suave recteque curatum offendisset, honoris et amoris ergo adulescentulo tradidit. Os hominis impudentiamque cognoscite. 458 Circumstabant triclinium viri complures nobiles, honesti, aperto capite, viri illius principis imperia exspectantes, ut ad nutum praesto essent. Ille, stulta ac barbara arrogantia elatus, offam illam caro emptam canibus, cunctis spectantibus, obicit. At qui aderant mirari, pallescere, horrere; dynasta quietus esse tantamque adolescentis iniuriam tacitus mussitare. 459 Adiecit ad tam insignem despecti muneris contumeliam multo arrogantius factum proxima superiore aestate. 458 Cic. Verr. II.IV.XXIX.66: “Os hominis insignemque impudentiam cognoscite.” 459 Ter. Ad. II.i.207: “accipiunda et mussitanda iniuria adulescentiumst.” 27 28 <?page no="408"?> Book Eight 409 When the dynast returned to the city from the countryside, he continued with—and even increased—his gifts and, day by day, he offered ever greater tokens of his immense love toward the young man. He even ordered a bedroom be prepared for him, furnished and decorated with all manner of accoutrements, and placed next to the room where Styliolus usually slept. But get a load of that young man’s arrogance and contempt. Driven wild by such favor shown by his master, and by his dancing and running around all day and night, the young man drove Styliolus to the point that he couldn’t sleep, and he wasn’t able to give his attention to any other matter. The din, clatter, and noise were so loud that the room seemed to be collapsing in on his head, along with that entire wing of the house. Styliolus went frequently to the dynast to complain about these affronts but didn’t get any response out of him, other than that he was a boy, and that the games of boys, who were rejoicing in a youthful way, had to be borne with laughter and good humor. When he had lost hope, and also because he was jealous of the excessive love the dynast had for the boy, Styliolus rented a house in the farthest and most remote part of the city and went away there as if in exile. But he had hardly set foot outside the dynast’s house when the boy took over the rooms in the most important wing of the house, which had belonged to Styliolus, shutting the former occupant out of them forever. But the more influence the young man gained day by day in authority and favor, the more arrogantly and haughtily he behaved. He pushed his arrogance so far that once during lunch, when he was lying next to the dynast and was not eating anything besides fish (the practice from those people’s ancient religion held that meat was not to be eaten that day), it came about (perhaps because the sea was greatly agitated) that hardly any fish had been caught, and that any fish that were present were highly prized. Utterly common types of seafood were therefore set before him, like sardines, sole, and mussels. The master of the feast, however, saw to it that a pound of catfish, purchased at a very dear price, was placed before the dynast. Once the dynast had tasted the dish first and found it to be agreeably and aptly prepared, he gave it to the young man out of esteem and love. Listen to the impertinence and impudence of this man. Many distinguished noblemen were standing around the dining couch, hats off, waiting for the nobleman’s command and ready to do his bidding. The young man, puffed up with foolish and barbarous arrogance, threw that very expensive dish to the dogs, with everyone watching. Those who were present were amazed, turned white, and trembled with fear. The dynast fell silent and bore the young man’s gross affront in silence. In response to the young man’s great insult in disdaining his gift, the dynast remarked that he had behaved even more arrogantly that past summer. 27 28 <?page no="409"?> 410 Eudemia in Ten Books Dynasta in propinquam urbi villam suam, vitandi aestus causa, se receperat, cum Megalobulo, cognato suo, qui complura oppidula dominatu regio obtinet, una ibi ut esset. Neque secum quemquam adduxerat praeter circumpedes paucos et adolescentem, qui noctu, velut corporis ipsius custos, in procoetone cubaret. At ille, nocte intempesta, nemine conscio, surrexit et ad urbem citato equo transcurrit. Paulo post dynasta experrectus matulam poscit; nemo accurrit. Nomine adolescentem vocat; non respondet. Iterum ac tertio appellat; nihilo magis. Tum e lecto prosiliens circumpedem seorsum alio in conclavi excubantem excitat, lumen proferre iubet; ac copulati quaerunt, investigant; atque aedes inveniunt, foribus tanquam faucibus apertis, hominem foras evomuisse; quem, libidine incensum ac gestientem erumpere, intus continere non potuerant. Fit clamor; accurrunt alii, a quibus intellegunt adolescentem equum conscendisse et citato in urbem cursu ad libidines suas explendas advolasse. Sed dynastam male illud urebat, quod abiens ille fores non obserasset, sed apertas reliquisset. Fuerat enim in potestate cuivis, vel inimico vel furi, usque ad lectum venire ipsumque dormientem opprimere. Atque iratus cognatum Megalobulum vocat, improbum adolescentis factum exponit; enimvero hoc non esse ferendum, sed curandum, ait, ut intellegat quid sit principes viros illudere. Megalobulus, cui aegre erat in primis cognati sui famam ob nimiam gratiosorum suorum potentiam malevolis iniquorum suorum sermonibus dilacerari, neque antea ob eius praestantiam dignitatis ausus erat eum ut tantam infamiam fugeret admonere; continuo datam occasionem arripuit atque hortari hominem coepit ne posthac impuris ac plebeiis istis suam vitam existimationemque committeret. Sibi esse ternos liberos, forma atque aetate praestantes, quorum opera strenua atque fideli possit uti, si velit; eos ipsi dare, donare, dicare. De reliquo sibi curae fore ne tanta haec contumelia sceleroso illi, sicut et ceterae, procedat in numerum. Atque ita ab eo discedit, ut qui homines quatuor robustos atque ad pulsandum verberandumque exercitatos se inventurum dicat, qui advenienti ligna tanquam parochi praebeant 460 adeo, ut totos tres menses continuos lecto se commovere non possit. Nec fuit abeundum longius. Nam quatuor ex eadem familia quibus adolescens crudeliter imperabat, hanc eiusdem verberandi provinciam ad se receperunt. Neque aliud exspectabatur, nisi ut rediret. Nam redeunti pro adventicia cena res mala erat parata. 460 Hor. Sat. I.V.45-6: “proxima Campano ponti quae villula, tectum / praebuit et parochi, quae debent, ligna salemque.” 29 30 <?page no="410"?> Book Eight 411 In order to avoid the summer heat, the dynast had retreated to his country estate near the city with his brother-in-law Megalobulus, who held many towns under his princely rule, so he could be with him. He did not bring anyone along, except for a few servants and the young man, who slept in the anteroom at night like a bodyguard. But, in the dead of night and unbeknownst to everyone, the young man got up and galloped to the city on a horse. A short while later, the dynast woke up and asked for his chamber pot, but nobody came. He called for the young man by name, but he did not respond. He called out a second and third time. Nothing. Then he jumped down from his bed, woke up a servant, who was sleeping in another room, ordered him to carry a lamp, and together they searched, investigated, and found that the house had opened its doors like jaws and disgorged the young man outside. The house was not able to contain him because he was inflamed by desire and eager to break free. There was a loud noise, and other men ran over to let them know that the young man had mounted a horse and raced to the city at a gallop to fulfill his desires. What pained the dynast greatly was that, when the young man left, he had not locked the door but had left it wide open. Any enemy or thief would have been able to come right up to his bed and smother him in his sleep. Furious, Vius summoned his brother-in-law Megalobulus and told him about the young man’s wicked deed. Moreover, he said that this was not to be tolerated, but that they must see to it that the young man understand the significance of making a mockery of important men. Megalobulus was especially bothered that his brother-in-law’s reputation was being damaged on account of those in his favor holding too much sway, and by the spiteful talk of the rabble; but, because of his brother-in-law’s superior position, he had never before dared to warn him about avoiding such disgrace. Megalobulus immediately seized the opportunity presented to him and began exhorting the dynast not to entrust his life and reputation ever again to these immoral commoners. He said that he himself had three children, outstanding in both beauty and age, whose active and faithful services the dynast could enjoy, if he so desired. He said that they were devoted, beholden, and dedicated to him. As for the rest, he said that he himself would see to it that that wicked young man could not continue perpetrating great insults such as these and others. Megalobulus left the dynast’s side saying that he would locate four strong men skilled in striking and beating, who, like purveyors, would supply the young man with so much wood when he got back that he would not be able to get out of bed for three months straight. Megalobulus did not have to look very far, since four members of the dynast’s own household, whom the young man had cruelly ordered around, had taken upon themselves this very task of beating him up. They only needed to wait for 29 30 <?page no="411"?> 412 Eudemia in Ten Books Cum ecce solutissimo animo redit, in atrium aedium se infert, recte ad dynastam intrat, qui una cum Megalobulo suavibus colloquiis pomeridianas horas traducebat. Illi, qui fustes iam ceperant, signum exspectabant quo homini caput, scapulas et brachia dedolarent. Sed quid existimatis? Iussissene illos in adolescentem irruere, vel saltem eum graviter ab se increpitum suis ab oculis removisse? Vel, si minus tantopere saevire vellet, attamen tristiore vultu, quo se commotum intellegeret, aspexisse? Minime. Quid ergo? Accurrens irruit homini in amplexum, adventum gratulatur atque, “Hodie appositus est nobis,” inquit, “in prandio pepo, quo neminem ante hunc diem neque formae melioris, neque succi suavioris me comedisse memini. Vin’ degustare? ” - “Sic opinor.” Accitoque tricliniasta, “Refer huc,” inquit, “eam peponis partem, quam iussimus in cenam servari; ac fer una tecum oenophorum nivati vini quam optimi.” - “Faciam,” inquit tricliniasta, “quod iubes.” - “At diligenter,” ait ille, “at mature. Satin hoc mandatum est tibi? ” 461 Nec mora. Affertur pepo; allatum sua ipse manu concidit, adolescenti anteponit; ipse pocula implet, ipse cyathissat; hortatur ut bibat et amissas ex itinere vires reficiat. Quo facto permotus Megalobulus statim raedam conscendit et in sua se castella recepit. Dum ita ille sermones caedit, interea in oppidum, edito amoenoque in loco situm, ascendimus. In quo forum maximum, pulcherrimi fontes, tum plures latae viae perpetuae, multis transversis divisae, privata aedificia quam plurima atque ornatissima continebant. 462 Sed dum ille loqueretur, nihil nobis longius videbatur quam dum dicendi finem faceret. Eramus enim cupidi cognoscendi quaenam esset natura loci, qui ritus, quodque hominum genus. Atque audimus agrum illum esse eorum omnium feracissimum, quae sunt ad victum necessaria: vini, olei, tritici. Homines vero quietissimos, officiocissimos; a furtis vero ita abhorrentes, ut si qui 463 forte nummi cuipiam excidant, nemo ad eos tollendos 461 Ter. Eun. II.i.207-8: “Ph. Fac ita ut iussi deducantur isti. Pa. Faciam. Ph. At diligenter. / Pa. Fiet. Ph. At mature. Pa. Fiet. Ph. Satin hoc mandatum est tibi? ” 462 Cic. Verr. II.II.LIII.119: “Altera autem est urbs Syracusis, cui nomen Achradina est, in qua forum maximum, pulcherrimae porticus, ornatissimum prytanium, amplissima est curia templumque egregium Iovis Olympii ceteraeque urbis partes, quae una via lata perpetua multisque transversis divisae privatis aedificiis continentur.” 463 siqui 1637 31 32 <?page no="412"?> Book Eight 413 him to return. Instead of a welcome-home banquet, they had something bad in store for him upon his arrival. When the young man returned, his mind very much at ease, he entered the atrium of the house and went straight up to the dynast, who was passing the afternoon hours with Megalobulus in pleasant conversation. The men, with clubs at the ready, waited for the signal to bludgeon the man’s head, shoulders, and arms. But what do you suppose happened? Do you suppose the dynast ordered them to attack the young man, or at least scolded him severely and removed him from his sight? Or, if he chose not to get angry, to nevertheless look disapprovingly upon him, so the young man would comprehend that he was displeased? Of course not! What then? The dynast rushed headlong into the man’s arms, rejoiced at his arrival, and said, “Today we are having watermelon for lunch. I do not recall having eaten any watermelon before today that had a better appearance or sweeter juices than this one. Do you want to taste it? ” - “I don’t mind if I do! ” The dynast called the server over and said, “Bring me the portion of the watermelon that I had ordered to be served at dinner and bring back a jug of our very best chilled wine with you.” - “I will do as you command,” said the server.” - “Carefully,” the dynast said, “and quickly. Have you understood your instructions? ” The server did not delay. He brought out the watermelon and, once he had set it down, the dynast cut it up with his own hands and placed it before the young man. He then ladled out the wine, filled the wine glasses himself, and bade the young man drink and restore his strength that he had lost during his journey. Shaken by this, Megalobulus immediately got in his carriage and returned to his chateau. In the meantime, while he was chatting like this, we walked up to a town situated in an elevated and pretty place. It had a very large forum, beautiful fountains, and many wide streets that ran the whole length of the town and were divided by many streets crossing it at right angles, and which were filled with a great many ornate private homes. But while he was talking, we couldn’t wait for him to finish his story. We were anxious to discover what the nature of that place was, what its traditions were, and what kinds of people lived there. We heard that the land was extremely fertile for growing everything that was necessary to live, like wine, oil, and wheat. We heard that the people were very peaceful and dutiful and were so averse to thievery that, if anyone accidentally drops their money, nobody stoops to pick it up. Moreover, we heard that they are so fond of, and love guests and foreigners so much, that it is considered akin to an inexpiable crime to dishonor or lay a finger on them. When we learned these things, the idea came to us, if what they were saying was true, to remain there and not seek out any other regions or face the dangers of the sea again (which we later learned, from their conversations, had grown somewhat great- 31 32 <?page no="413"?> 414 Eudemia in Ten Books sese demittat; praeterea hospitum advenarumque adeo studiosos amantesque, ut quemquam qui illuc se contulisset violare vel digito attingere, inexpiabilis cuiusdam sceleris loco duceretur. Quibus cognitis, venit nobis in mentem, si vera essent quae dicerentur, ibi consistere, neque alias regiones persequi ac maris pericula rursus obire. Quae postea oratione illorum aliquanto ampliora esse, nos ipsi quoque cognovimus. Itaque sedem ac domicilium ibi nostrum collocare et quod reliquum vitae daretur traducere constituimus. Atque in suscepta sententia stabilivit nos philosophi illius oratio, qui vitia libidinis erat versibus persecutus; qui ibidem omnes aequo esse iure aiebat, neque plus uni licere quam alteri. Id adeo contingere, quod omnes fere essent pares neque quisquam alteri dignitate divitiisque anteiret. Quam rem ille in summa felicitatis parte ponebat; esse enim intolerabilem potentiorum superbiam et iniustitiam. Sibi vero facilem eam esse orationem, quod in eorum iniquitatibus non semel haesisset, et in primis, quod sibi bene de aliquot principibus viris merito, quorum nomina non reticebat, pessime gratia relata fuisset. Atque aliud ita orsus est carmen: “Est operae pretium pernoscere divitis artes, nempe quibus vitiis hic totus langueat ordo; quem quotquot lacerant probroso vulnere mentes, corripiunt animi morbi, nec deserit ullus. Hunc primum aereo ventosa superbia curru 5 abripit, admotis et vanum follibus inflat. Nec sic inflatus tumidos ostendere vultus dignatur tenui, rerum cui copia desit. Iam non humano concretum sanguine, verum se putat aetheriis 464 affinem civibus esse 10 ac Iovis aeterni solium tetigisse beatum. Quod prope divinos tradi sibi poscit honores, dum patitur, capite obstipo genibusque minorem auxilium donis inopem votisque precari. At neque ventosi tantum gaudetque superbi 15 464 aethereis 1637 33 34 <?page no="414"?> Book Eight 415 er). We therefore decided to set up residence and establish our home there and to spend our remaining years in that place, for however long that may be. And we were fortified in this new plan we had settled on by the words of that philosopher, who condemned the crimes of desire with his verses. He said that everyone was equal there under the law and nobody was granted more than anyone else. It truly was the case that everyone was just about equal, and nobody surpassed anyone else in position and wealth. This was something that the philosopher identified as the most important ingredient for happiness, and that arrogance and injustice on the part of more powerful people was intolerable. He knew whereof he spoke, because he had been caught up more than once in the unjust actions of the powerful; and, most of all, because, although he deserved to be treated well by several prominent men (whose names he did not conceal), he had been very badly repaid. Thus, he began another poem: “It is worthwhile learning the ways of the rich man, namely what vices render his whole class weak. Sicknesses of the soul, as many as destroy the mind with their shameful wounds, take hold of that class, and not one of the sicknesses is absent. First, his puffed-up arrogance carries him off in a bronze carriage and inflates him, vain as he is, with bellows. Thus inflated, he does not stoop to show his arrogant face to a common man, one who is without wealth. He already does not believe he was created from human flesh and blood, but that he is more akin to the gods in heaven; and he believes he has touched the blessed throne of eternal Jove. Because of this, he insists that near-divine honors be bestowed upon him, while he allows the poor man, with bared head and on bended knee, to pray for aid with gifts and entreaties. And not only does he rejoice in his reputation as a puffed-up, arrogant man, but he is consumed by much worse vices. His love of money grows, and his dark thirst for gold rises up, attacks him, and settles deep within his bones. How this desire for shameful greed burns his breast with fast-moving flames, how his desire for possessions blazes when he unjustly amasses money for himself, snatched with impunity from a poor, trusting companion, and adding it to his own pile, or when he either defrauds poor craftsmen of agreed-upon wages or refuses to pay for things he has purchased! The complaints of the innocent cannot touch his savage heart, nor the tears heard in his echoing atrium, which his cheated creditor fills with mournful cries pleading: ‘Pay me what you owe me, so I can keep cold and hunger at bay from my children and from my dear wife, lying ill in tattered clothing, whom it often pains to make it through the day.’ The cruel, 33 34 <?page no="415"?> 416 Eudemia in Ten Books nomine, sed vitiis longe peioribus ardet. Surgit amor nummi, et fulvi sitis atra metalli insilit exultim atque imis sedet alta medullis. Ut cupido rapidis uruntur pectora flammis turpis avaritiae, studioque ut flagrat habendi, 20 dum tenui ereptas fidoque impune sodali iniustus sibi cogit opes atque addit acervo, vel pacta artifices fraudat mercede 465 misellos, emptis sive negat pretium persolvere rebus! Nec saevum potis est animum tetigisse querela 25 insontum aut lacrimae resonantiaque atria circum, creditor elusus querulis quae vocibus implet, dum: ‘Mihi redde meum,’ magnis clamoribus instat, ‘quo pueris caraeque simul frigusque famemque depellam uxori, scissis quae vestibus aegra 30 saepe dolet tenebris siccos se iungere soles.’ Ipse graves inter gemitus moestasque querelas crudelis gaudet laetis accumbere mensis et symphoniacos lacrimis componere cantus. Iam, quae sic aderit turpis vel dira libido, 35 quae non continuo venas inflaverit illi, ac tumidas rapido victrix impleverit aestu? Sic, ut nulla quies membris animoque supersit, optatam donec valeat contingere metam, 466 vertitur in rabiem furiis ardentibus acta 40 saepe libido furens, sibi dum dolet esse negatum quod cupit, aut alios parili sibi munere findi 465 Cf. Hor. Carm. III.3.20-2: “et mulier peregrina vertit / in pulverem, ex quo destituit deos / mercede pacta Laomedon.” 466 Hor. Ars P. 412: “Qui studet optatam cursu contingere metam.” See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VIII n. 8. <?page no="416"?> Book Eight 417 rich man is happy to recline at an abundant dinner table surrounded by deep sighs and sorrowful complaints, and to compose musical concerts out of tears. What disgraceful and detestable desire does he not possess, which continuously swells his veins and, victorious over him, fills them up with a fast-moving heat until they are distended? Thus, since no peace rests in his body or soul until he reaches his desired goal, raging desire, driven by burning passions, is often transformed into anger, so long as he is aggrieved at not being able to get what he wants or perceives, with a sidelong glance, that other men are demanding a loaf be divided in portions equal to his. Wherefore, a woman who does not wish to sell her virtue for cash or hastily acquiesces to the insane pleas of her lover, her windows are often spattered with a stinking mess, and her doorposts are broken with a ferocious hailstorm of rocks. And whoever goes forth boldly in search of the same sort of morsel, returns with a face that is ugly with the marks of infamy or a head and shoulders that are beaten with rigid sticks, or suffers an ugly death with savage wounds. Thus, love mingles with the sword, as long as the spiteful person wishes to wantonly acquire what he desires without any competition.” <?page no="417"?> 418 Eudemia in Ten Books quadram poscentes 467 obliquo lumine cernit. Unde pudicitiam precio quae vendere nolit aut cupidi propere insanis occurrere votis, 45 huic olido coeno sputantur saepe fenestrae aut lapidum dira franguntur grandine postes; quique audax abiit, bolum sectatus eundem, vel faciem retulit famoso stigmate turpem, vel caput et scapulas praeduro fuste dolatas, 50 vel fera non bellam subiit per vulnera mortem. Sic gladio miscetur amor, dum lividus ultro vult sine rivali quod diligit, ipse potiri.” His auditis, et urbe tota perlustrata, aedes in edito urbis colle conduximus, unde ab una parte prospectus erat in agrum lepidissimus, in mare ab altera. Tum ex ea pecunia, quam nobiscum attuleramus, fundum, qui nos aleret, coemimus. Liber IX Summa igitur animi tranquillitate, cunctis ad voluntatem euntibus, fruebamur, sed summam in primis voluptatem capiebamus ex aedibus nostris et ex horto illis adiuncto, ubi ver fere perpetuum vigebat. 468 Etenim flores ibi lectissimi, omni tempore anni, herbae semper virentes, arbores sua semper viriditate vestitae, lauri, cupressi, myrti, hederae; quarum arborum frondibus tectae aves, quibus nemo neque balistis, neque retibus, neque viscatis viminibus 469 molestiam exhibet, aures cantu demulcent. Aedes vero ita bono, ita apto in loco consurgunt, ut aestate totum diem sub dio incoli possint, hieme autem ita a mane usque ad vesperam a sole possidentur, ut umbram, nisi si in puteo quaeras, invenire non valeas. Tum doctis et illustribus viris, quorum in ea insula non parvus est numerus, arcta atque iucunda consuetudine implicati, otium fere nostrum terebamus in litteris. 467 Hor. Epist. I.XVII.48-9: “‘victum date! ’ succinit alter, / ‘et mihi! ’ dividuo findetur munere quadra.” 468 vigeat 1645. Jeroen De Keyser suggests the emendation to vigebat. 469 Petron. Sat. 109: “[volucres] viscatis illigatae viminibus deferebantur ad manus.” 35 1 <?page no="418"?> Book Nine 419 When we had heard these verses and had finished exploring the entire city, we rented a villa on a high hill, which, on one side, looked out very pleasantly onto the land, and, on the other side, to the sea. 152 At last, from the money we had brought with us, we purchased a farm to sustain ourselves. Book Nine We were enjoying the utmost peace of mind with everything going according to our wishes, but it was primarily from our villa and its adjacent garden, where spring was constantly in bloom, that we derived the greatest pleasure. The choicest flowers blossomed there year-round and the grass was always green, and the trees—the laurel, the cypress, the myrtle, and the ivy—were ever enveloped in verdure. Protected by the leafy branches of the trees, and with nobody threatening them with slingshots, nets, or branches spread with birdlime, 153 birds caressed our ears with their song. It was here where our villa rose up, a place so fine and so suitable that, during the summer months, we were able to enjoy outdoor living all day long; and so much sun caressed our home during the winter months, from dawn until dusk, that it was impossible to find a trace of shade, unless you sought it out near a well. We spent our leisure time during this period engaged in literary pursuits, embraced by the intimate and 152 This is likely a reference to Rossi’s own house on the Janiculum Hill. 153 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX n. 1) contrasts this image of pleasant birdsong with the account of Urban VIII ordering all of the birds in his garden killed because their singing disturbed his sleep (see Book Seven, n. 122). 35 1 <?page no="419"?> 420 Eudemia in Ten Books In iis Nicorusticus, amoeno elegantique ingenio, varia atque multiplici rerum maximarum eruditione imbutus, sed incommoda fere semper valetudine, suis doctissimis sermonibus ac praesertim elegantissimis versibus aures nostras implebat. Hic longe maiore apud omnes esset existimatione atque amore, nisi unum illi vitium omnem ingenii commendationem everteret. Etenim vana quadam sui ipsius opinione inflatus, omnes prae se contemnit; neminem extra se unum quidquam sapere, neminem quidquam esse arbitratur. Quid quaerimus amplius? Scriptores veteres, omniumque virtutum laude praestantes, quibus omnium saeculorum consensus et auctoritas principem in poëtis locum assignat, ad sui iudicium acuminis revocare ac de diuturna regni possessione est conatus deicere. Plachutius, exacta iam aetate vir, praeter summam rerum omnium scientiam, egregio poëmate tragoedia aliisque praeclaris ingenii sui monumentis editis clarus, multitudine librorum, quos tum soluta oratione tum versibus, tum patrio, tum Latino sermone docte eleganterque conscriptos, est paratus emittere, nostram discendi sitim explebat. Samnis, in quo perfecta oratoris laus prope expressa conspicitur, id quod est in nobis bonum alebat. Etenim ita hic loquitur, ut dici melius non desideres; ita praeter has politissimas artes, quarum studio tenemur, quaecunque a philosophis de rerum causis, de caelo, de natura deorum traduntur, memoria intellegentiaque complectitur, ut non didicisse, sed suo ea marte peperisse videatur. Lidomarus, cui primae in Graecis litteris deferri dicuntur, sua nobis epigrammata recitabat; in quibus faciendis adeo felix existimatur, ut eruditorum iudicio proxime ad veterum Atticorum elegantiam, suavitatem et acumen dicatur accedere. Caelolithus ingenio peracri et studio flagranti et doctrina singulari doctiores nos in dies reddebat. Ita enim est Graecorum disciplinis instructus, ut nihil eum fugere existimetur, quod eorum litteris traditum contineatur. 2 <?page no="420"?> Book Nine 421 delightful company of learned and illustrious men, of whom there was no small number on that island. Among these was Nicorusticus, a man with an agreeable and discriminating nature and imbued with a diverse and extensive knowledge of the most important subjects (but who was almost always in ill-health). He filled our ears with his most learned speeches and, most importantly, with his elegant verses. Out of all of us, he would have been the preeminent one, by far, in terms of esteem and love, had it not been for that one blemish that undid all praise of his talent. Namely, puffed up with an unfounded opinion of himself, he thought that everyone was worthless compared to him and believed that no one, except for himself alone, knew anything or had any value. What more proof do you need? He endeavored to measure the ancient authors—who garner the highest praise in every virtue and are given pride of place among poets by the consensus and opinion of each generation—against the criterion of his own acumen and dislodge them from their long-standing supremacy. Plachutius, a man of advanced age and famous for an outstanding poem, a tragedy, and for other splendid works that are monuments to his genius (not to mention his superior knowledge in all matters) satisfied our thirst for knowledge with a number of books that he was about to publish, which were learned and elegantly written, in both prose and verse, and both in Italian and Latin. 154 Samnis, whose oratorical merit one could tell is just about perfect, nurtured the good in us. In fact, he spoke in such a way that you could not wish for what he said to be expressed any better. Besides these most refined arts, which held our enthusiasm, Samnis grasped, in his memory and understanding, everything the philosophers have to say about the causes of things, about heaven, and about the nature of the gods. He accomplished this to such an extent that he seemed not to have learned it, but to have produced it all on his own. Lidomarus, who, they say, holds first place in Greek literature, recited his epigrams to us. In doing so, he was thought to be so successful that, in the judgment of scholars, he was said to approach the elegance, pleasantness, and wit of the ancient Greeks. Caelolithus, a man of very sharp intellect, fiery spirit, and singular erudition, caused us to grow more 154 Though no particular poem is identified by title here, Alessandro Donati’s (1584-1640) published works of poetry include Carminum volumen primum (Roma: Mascardi, 1625), Ars poëtica (Roma: Faciotti, 1631), and Roma vetus ac recens (Roma: M. Manelfi, 1638). Gerboni (1899: 130) does not think Plachutius or the following two men, Samnis and Lidomarus, can be identified, describing them as “altri amici e familiari de’ due fuorusciti; pseudonimi vaghi e insignificanti, figure indeterminate e nebulose che ci sembra impossibile riconoscere” (“other friends and acquaintances of the two émigrés; vague and insignificant pseudonyms, indeterminate and nebulous figures who seem impossible to identify”). 2 <?page no="421"?> 422 Eudemia in Ten Books Multa quoque erant in manibus Pterotii ad veterum sapientiam elegantiamque conscripta, quae magnam illi inter eruditos famam efficiunt; atque ut est ingenio eximio et nunquam cessante, alia deinceps multa editurus dicitur, unde magis liceat de eius excellenti facultate atque doctrina existimare. Hic vir longe doctissimus, ille est qui (ut antea commemoravimus) in cuiusdam inepti reprehensionem incurrerat, quod ad litteratorum huius aevi numerum Ianum quendam, scriptorem comoediarum, aggregasset. Atque de hoc Iano cum diligentius inquireremus, invenimus eum quidem humili loco natum, sed ingenio alto atque praestanti, ab ineunte aetate a parente, qui nihil altum, nihil se ipso maius animo conciperet, illi fuisse arti addictum, quam ipse nosset, et in qua sese exerceret. At illum hac in re patris imperio minus obsequentem, quamquam parens ad imperium minas adderet, traditam sibi artem respuisse libero ingenuoque fastidio, atque ad praestantiora studia animum adiecisse eo ardore, ea vi, ut solus sine magistro, sine duce, naturae tantum bono ductus, non postremum picturae, poësis ac musicae gradum attigerit. Ac correctori illi, si quod ex ore petulantius dictum excidit, ignoscendum fuit. Erat enim iratus iudici, qui nescio quid decreverat contra rem ipsius iniuria. Verum quod ad virum illum doctissimum attinet, mira hominis virtus, incredibilis humanitas magnitudoque animi lapides etiam ipsos potest, ut se ament, adigere. Nos vero, tanquam sibi adiudicatos, arctissimo amoris vinculo habet adstrictos. Adeo enim nullum in eo ambitionis, malignitatis, invidiaeque vitium residet, ut etiam eruditorum laudibus, quibus alii, qui eiusdem sunt professionis, plerunque invident, detrahunt, tenebras offundunt, ipse novo atque inaudito humanitatis exemplo faveat, opes et amicitias paret, suoque praeconio lumen atque splendorem adiciat. Cedo tres mihi homines, oro, 470 cum istis moribus; dignus profecto qui omnium eruditorum litteris posteritatis memoriae tradatur, si quidquam tamen inveniri potes, ad eius memoriam nominis propagandam, ingenii ipsius monumentis feracius. Dynasta vero, nomine Ophio, abundanti doctrina ac scientiae copia refertus, cui ille honorariam operam navat, eius etiam studiis, bonis ac doctis viris favendi, obsequitur. Iis enim domi suae hospitium, iis amorem suum ac studium, iis diurnum cibum pro facultatibus exhibet. 470 auro 1645 3 4 <?page no="422"?> Book Nine 423 learned by the day. He was so skilled in Greek subjects that nothing contained in their literary tradition is thought to escape him. We also had to hand many works of Pterotius that were written according to the precepts of ancient wisdom and elegance, making him well known among scholars. Because his mind was extraordinary and constantly in motion, they said he was going to publish many more writings besides, from which one could further judge his excellent ability and learning. This is that same very learned man who, as we mentioned before, incurred the censure of some fool, because he had included a certain comic writer named Ianus in his roster of intellectuals of our age. 155 When we scrutinized this Ianus more closely, we found that he had indeed been born into a humble station but had a great and outstanding intellect; and that, from a very young age, he was steered by his father (who could conceive in his mind nothing loftier or greater than himself) toward the only trade that he knew and wanted him to practice. But we found out that, in this matter, Ianus was less than compliant toward his father’s authority, even though his father backed up his commands with threats. Rejecting the family trade with frank and outspoken contempt, Ianus threw himself into more excellent subjects with such zeal and force that he alone, without a teacher and led only by the gifts of nature, achieved the greatest mastery of painting, poetry, and music. But one must forgive that moralizer if he said anything too impertinent. He was angry because of an injustice done to him by a judge, who made who knows what kind of ruling against his estate. Regarding that most learned Pterotius, however, the very virtue of his person, his incredible humanity, and his nobility of spirit could even cause marble statues to fall in love with him. He drew us into the closest of friendships, as if we were bound to him. He had so little trace in him of the vices of ambition, ill will, or envy that, with his unique and singular example of humanity, he even delighted in the praise of other scholars—praise that others of this profession frequently envy, reject, and obscure in darkness, but that he encouraged with his wealth and friendship, shining light and glory upon them by publicizing them. I ask you to show me even three men of such character. Pterotius himself is certainly worthy of being consigned, in the writings of all learned men, to the memory of those coming after; that is, if anything more fruitful can be found for propagating the memory of his name than his own brilliant writings. A dynast by the name of Ophius—who overflowed with abundant learning and copious knowledge, and for whom Pterotius, out of respect, did some service—accom- 155 This is a reference to Book Seven (25), when an unnamed character (meant to be Leone Allacci) is criticized for including a writer named Ianus, son of a mattress maker, in his list of illustrious writers titled Apes urbanae. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. IX n. 4. 3 4 <?page no="423"?> 424 Eudemia in Ten Books Erat saepe nobiscum Icosippus; cuius videndi diu fueramus cupidissimi, quamquam satis ex suis eum scriptis cognitum haberemus. Huic tantum, eruditorum omnium consensu, tribuitur, ut omnium fere artium scientiam, omnis antiquitatis memoriam, totam Latini sermonis rationem, omnem eius artis paene infinitam vim et materiam scientia comprehensam habere existimetur. Multum etiam utebamur Homosio, praestanti ingenio ac nobilitate viro, cui nihil ab ingenio, nihil ab arte, nihil a studio deest. Omnia quae in istis artibus, libero homine dignis, continentur, ipse percepit. Nam si sit scribenda epistola, tum Graece, tum Latine, tum vernacule, est prudentium eloquentissimus; si agendum de re gravi negotium, est eloquentium prudentissimus; si sit pangendum carmen ac praesertim epigramma, ex Catulli vel Martialis officina illud prodiisse existimatur. Iam vero nostrum ad se amorem ac studium attraxerat vir singulari ingenio, eleganti doctrina, acerrimo iudicio, optimis moribus, summo genere praeditus, Aristides. Cum eo fere quotidie eramus, ille nos raeda tollere, in suburbanum suum, urbi proximum, ducere. Ibi vel eruditis sermonibus, vel poëtarum oratorumque lectione, ad lene defluentium aquarum murmur, ad avium cantum, ad aurae inter arborum ramos dulciter obstrepentis sibilum, ad agrorum circumcirca patentium despectum, cum eo nos, quidquid erat otii, conterere. Hic vir egregius in primis, in amplissima familia natus, tum sua sponte, tum parentum diligentia ad probitatem et ad omnes bonas artes instructus, eo robore atque ea indole virtutis et continentiae fuit, ut, spretis voluptatibus, illud unum ad laudem cum labore directum iter habuerit. 471 Fratrem habuit dynastam, non unum e multis sed inter multos prope singularem. 472 Nam pluribus antea pro republica laboribus ac muneribus egregie functus, eum locum atque ordinem meruerat. Tum incredibili vir ingenio, doctrina, magnitudine animi, iudicii acumine regendis imperio populis datus, admirabili quadam laude provinciae praefuit. Verum cum ad summam gloriam effloresceret, calculi morbo sublatus, triste sui desiderium reliquit. Vivit adhuc eorum mater, quae, annos nata quatuor et 471 Cic. Cael. 41: “illud unum derectum iter ad laudem cum labore qui probaverunt.” Compare the description of this locus amoenus with Ep. ad Tyrr. 1.1: “in summo colle Ianiculi, ad D. Petri, inter viridantium illarum arborum umbras, avium cantus, ac leniter susurrantis aurae sibilos.” 472 Cic. Brut. LXXIX.274: “Sed de M. Calidio dicamus aliquid, qui non fuit orator unus e multis, potius inter multos prope singularis fuit.” 5 6 <?page no="424"?> Book Nine 425 modated himself to Pterotius’s eagerness to support good scholars. As a result, Ophius put them up at his house and, to the best of his ability, provided them love, attention, and daily meals. A man named Icosippus was frequently in our company, whom we had been very eager to see, though we had already gotten to know him quite well through his writings. The consensus of all the scholars attributes nothing less to him than this, that he is thought to possess a thorough mastery over almost all the arts, knowledge of all of antiquity, and a command of the Latin language including a comprehensive grasp of its almost infinite scope and material. We also enjoyed the company of Homosius, a man of outstanding intellect and nobility, who wants for nothing in terms of genius, art, or study. He possesses a knowledge of everything in these subjects that is worthy of a free person. When it comes to writing letters, whether in Greek, Latin, or in the vernacular, he is the most eloquent of wise men. When it comes to conducting serious business, he is the wisest of eloquent men. When it comes to composing poems, especially epigrams, they are judged to have been produced in the very workshops of Catullus and Martial. Aristides attracted our affection and interest as a man of singular intelligence, sophisticated learning, keen judgment, outstanding morals, and one endowed with the noblest ancestry. We spent almost every day together with him coming to collect us in his carriage and bringing us to his suburban villa, which was located not far from the city. Whenever we were at leisure with Aristides at his villa, we spent our time either in learned conversation or reading the poets or orators. We did this against a backdrop of murmuring, gently flowing waters, singing birds, whispering breezes sweetly rustling through tree branches, and a view of the fields stretching out all around us. This man who was, above all, eminent and born to a very honorable family was educated—both of his own accord and by the diligence of his parents—in uprightness and in every liberal art. He was of such strength of character and of such virtuous and temperate nature that, spurning all pleasure, he considered the only straightforward path to glory to be that of hard work. He had a brother, a dynast, who was not one of the multitude but was instead thoroughly unique among many. 156 He had earned his elevated place and station because, earlier, he had admirably performed a great deal of work and service on behalf of the state. In the end, this man of incredible talent, learning, and dignified character was tapped to rule a people under his command with keenness of judgment and to oversee a province with 156 Roberto Ubaldini (1581-1635), brother of Ugone Ubaldini, served as Bishop of Montepulciano beginning in 1607 but resigned from this post in 1623. He was elevated to the cardinalate in 1615. Rossi devotes a portrait to Roberto Ubaldini in his Pinacotheca tertia. 5 6 <?page no="425"?> 426 Eudemia in Ten Books octuaginta, in exemplum matronarum suspicitur. Haec tam admirabilis tamque nobilis femina, quemadmodum excelso fortique animo, quemadmodum incredibili constantia, bonorum iacturam, familiae detrimenta, praeterea tum viri, tum filiorum longe praestantissimorum interitum tulerit, dicerem, si explicari oratione cuiusquam posset. Neque nunc ulla senectute impeditur quo minus familiam regat, quo minus retineat auctoritatem et imperium in suos, quo minus det operam sedulo ut vigeat in illa domo mos patrius et disciplina. 473 Dum igitur inter has necessitudines laeti aevum agitamus, ecce tibi ex improviso Gallonius nostris sese oculis obicit. Dii boni! O qui complexus et gaudia quanta fuere! 474 Coepimus percontari quid sibi vellet ille eius tam inopinatus adventus, quid ferret novi, salvane omnia. At ille, “Dynasta,” inquit, “meus, sive vitio animi, sive otii abundantia, quia non habet in quo illud utilius consumat, omissis ceteris studiis, fere quotidie rus abit ac, sumpto in manus arcu, aviculas, dum incitatiore per aera volatu feruntur, sagitta confodit. Tantumque studio et exercitatione profecit, iam ut nemo certiorem illo ad feriendum manum habere existimetur. Audivit maximam in hac urbe bonorum arcuum copiam esse; propterea ad eosdem comparandos me cum pecunia misit. Sed dii me servant, dii bene mihi volunt, cum tantam insperato laetitiam obiciunt, ut vos conspicer, teneam, amplectar, quos nunquam suspicatus sum in his regionibus me esse visurum. Iam bene sit dynastae meo, bene sit illi eius vel insaniae vel studio, quo rapitur; bene sit arcubus, sagittis, avibus, quibus ille pestem, labem et exitium parat; quae omnia diris antea precibus exsecrabar, quod propter ea maturius esset surgendum, hac illac concursandum, arcus ferendi, sagittae suppeditandae, collapsae in foveas, lacus, rubeta ac spinas aves quaerendae, investigandae, excipiendae. Bene sit, inquam, his rebus omnibus; nam absque iis si foret, nunquam tanta hac me amoenitate amoenus onerasset hic dies.” - “Nec minus,” excipit Aemilius, “iis rebus, quae tanta te cura ac sollicitudine onerant, aequum est nos bene precari. Non enim ad nos minor ex tuo adventu laetitia redundat, nec minus Diespiter amicam nobis operam tradit. Nam quis est omnium mortalium, quem te uno magis conventum expetamus? Proinde dum hanc urbem incoles, apud nos sis volumus; atque interim tibi, ut mos est, cenam viaticam dabimus.” 475 - “Benigne,” inquit Gallonius. “Nolo vobis molestus esse.” - “Omnis 473 Cic. Sen. XI.37: “vigebat in illa domo mos patrius et disciplina.” 474 Hor. Sat. I.V.43: “O qui complexus et gaudia quanta fuerunt! ” See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 7. 475 Plaut. Bacch. I.i.94: “ego sorori meae cenam hodie dare volo viaticam.” 7 <?page no="426"?> Book Nine 427 great distinction. While he was blossoming toward the greatest glory, however, he was brought low by kidney stones, leaving in his wake a sorrowful longing for his presence. Their mother, who is still alive at age eighty-four, is held up as an exemplary matron. 157 If it were possible to communicate such a thing with words, I would relate how this admirable and noble woman bore, with an outstanding iron will and incredible courage, the loss of her estate, which was a true blow to her family; and how, in addition to this, she bore the death of both her husband and her sons, who were more excellent by far. Old age has proved no impediment to her ability to oversee her family; to maintain authority and power over her household; or to carefully see to it that the morals and discipline of her forefathers flourishes under her roof. While we were happily spending time with our friends, Gallonius suddenly appeared before our eyes. Good gods, how we embraced, how we rejoiced! We started inquiring what was meant by his unexpected arrival, what news he was bringing, and whether everything was all right. He replied, “My dynast, either because of a mental defect or because he has too much time on his hands (since he lacks any useful activities to spend his time on and has put aside his studies), goes out almost every day into the countryside, bow in hand, to shoot little birds with arrows as they fly swiftly through the air. He does so with such enthusiasm and skill that nobody is thought to have a steadier hand than he for hunting. My dynast heard that this city has a large supply of high-quality bows, which is why he sent me here with the money to purchase some. But the gods must be looking out for me and love me, because they have presented me with the unexpected happiness of seeing the two of you, holding you, and embracing you, when I never imagined I would see you in these parts. Bless my dynast and bless that insanity (or obsession) that has taken hold of him. Bless the bows, bless the arrows, and bless the birds who have ruin, destruction, and death in store for them! Before, I used to curse all these things with dire imprecations because they caused me to have to get up really early and run around carrying his bow, replenishing his arrows, and searching for, finding, and retrieving birds that had fallen into ditches, lakes, bramble thickets, and briar patches. But bless all of these things, I say, because, if it hadn’t been for them, this delightful day would never have brought me such happiness! ” Aemilius interjected, “It is no less proper for us to bless the things that are weighing you down with care and worry, because we are feeling no less happiness at your arrival, and Jupiter has done us no less a good turn. What single person in the entire world would we have more hoped to run into than you? In that case, as long as you are staying 157 Lucrezia della Gherardesca (1554? -1641), mother of Ugone and Roberto Ubaldini. Rossi devotes a portrait to her in his Pinacotheca tertia. 7 <?page no="427"?> 428 Eudemia in Ten Books tibi facultas recusandi erepta est,” ait Paulus Aemilius. “Propterea quiesce. Non enim potes effugere a nobis hospitium et cenam. Sed quid illic rerum agitur, unde advenis? Estne novi aliquid, quod sit operae pretium nos scire? Paxne ibi atque otium, an solicitudo vel maeror agitatur? ” “Immo,” inquit Gallonius, “omnes, animis in laetitiam effusis, gestiunt, triumphant, exultant. Allatum est enim Nicephorum regem, tot secundis proeliis nobilem, tot victoriis inclutum, quem male omnes formidabant, in acie a manipulari quodam inter brachium humerumque sagitta percussum, diem extremum obiisse. Itaque supplicationes ad omnia pulvinaria decretae, deorum immortalium aedes pictis peristromatis et stragula veste, auro sericoque contexta, ornatae; earum postes hedera, lauro myrtoque protectae; pavimenta recentibus cespitibus constrata; crebri noctu ignes accensi. Est operae pretium audire tubarum tympanorumque sonitus, symphoniacorum undique cantus, faustas acclamantium ac diis gratulantium voces, quod exitium illud ac pestem ab urbe, ab agro, ab aris, a focis avertissent. Erat enim metus ne demum rex ille, tot victoriis ferox atque animi impotentia insolens, eo copias adduceret urbemque nobilissimam ac diuturna tot annorum pace refertam opibus atque divitiis invaderet, fana ac domos spoliaret, caedem et incendia faceret, postremo armis, cadaveribus, cruore atque luctu omnia compleret. Quin, aiunt, palam solitum eum dicere se, pulsis dynastis vel ad internecionem datis, urbem hanc in regni cuiusdam formam redacturum, cui ipse cum imperio ac potestate praeesset.” At ego, “Mira,” inquam, “narras, Galloni; sed cedo, quomodo rex ille tam ferox, cui nemo iam posse videbatur obsistere, tam infelicem exitum vitae habuerit. Nam cum apud vos essemus, multa de militari eius virtute, multa de singulari hominis felicitate accepimus.” - “Dicam,” inquit Gallonius. “Iam rex ille, tot successibus fretus, tantos spiritus sumserat, tantum audacia processerat, ut non dubitaret nullis protectus armis ac paene nudus pericula proeliorum inire, tanquam in dextera sua secundos belli exitus, decus, famam, gloriam, denique fortunam haberet. Sed deorum consilio factum existimo ut in illam tam stultam sui fiduciam delaberetur. Nam ubi decretum est superis scelerum poenas ab hominum saevitia, iniquitate atque importunitate repetere, nihil illis faciendum videtur prius quam ut iis, quibus sunt irati, mentem et consilium adimant. Itaque dum ille, remotis armis, equo circumiens, unumquemque hortatur, sagitta (ut dixi) confossus interiit. Atque huc demum tot hominis spes, cogitationes, contentiones conatusque reciderunt.” 8 <?page no="428"?> Book Nine 429 in this city, we’d like you to stay with us; in the meantime, we’d like to host a welcome dinner for you, as is customary.” - “No, thank you,” said Gallonius, “I don’t want to be a bother.” Paulus Aemilius replied, “You are not allowed to say no, so don’t mention it. There will be no way for you to wriggle out of our hospitality and our dinner. But how are things going where you have come from? Is there any news we should be aware of? Do peace and tranquility reign there, or anxiety and worry? ” “On the contrary,” replied Gallonius. “Everyone’s minds are awash with delight; everyone is cheerful, rejoicing exceedingly, and in a celebratory mood. We received the news that King Nicephorus, who was decorated for so many successes in battle and famous for so many victories—and whom everyone fears greatly—was struck by some soldier with an arrow between his arm and his shoulder and died. Accordingly, public prayers were decreed at all the temples; sanctuaries to the gods were decorated with embroidered rugs and cloth coverings woven with gold and silk thread; the sanctuary door posts were draped with ivy, laurel, and myrtle, and the floors were strewn with fresh turf; and many fires were lit at night. It is worth your while to hear about the sounds of the trumpets and the timpani, the choirs singing from every direction, and the auspicious voices of the people crying out and giving thanks to the gods for keeping ruin and destruction away from our city, territory, sanctuaries, and hearths. We had feared that King Nicephorus, emboldened by so many victories and arrogant in his rashness, would actually lead his troops here and invade this noblest of cities, which is bursting with richness and wealth after so many years of long-lasting peace; that he would plunder temples and homes, perpetrate slaughter, set fires, and, finally, that he would fill the entire city with weapons, cadavers, blood, and mourning. Indeed, they say that he used to openly declare his intention to drive out, or kill, the dynasts and reduce our city to some form of kingdom that would be under his rule and power.” 158 I responded, “Gallonius, what you have told us is astonishing; but tell me, how did such a fierce king, whom nobody had yet been able to resist, meet such a wretched end? While we were staying with you, we heard a great deal about his military prowess and about his extraordinarily good fortune.” - “I will tell you,” replied Gallonius, “King Nicephorus, buoyed by so many triumphs, had taken on such airs and was proceeding with such boldness that he didn’t hesitate to enter into battle without the protection of arms and almost naked, as if he held a favorable outcome for war, honor, fame, glory, and, finally, for fortune in his right hand. But I believe it came about, by the resolution of the gods, that he fell victim to his 158 A reference to the 1527 Sack of Rome at the hands of mutinous troops of the army of Holy Roman Emperor Charles V. 8 <?page no="429"?> 430 Eudemia in Ten Books Quibus acceptis, “Quam durum est,” inquam, “O Galloni, more gigantum bellare cum diis! Qui superbiam, ambitionem, deorum contemptum tanquam montes congerit, quibus caelum expugnet, non tam scalarum gradus quam ruinae periculum struit. Ille prope aequalem se superis infert, qui in terris diis minorem gerit. 476 Spreta atque contemta religio seras tandem, sed graves a suis desertoribus poenas exigit. Nulla re ita fundantur imperia, ut verae religionis cultu studioque. Ubi exulat religio, ibi perfidia, peculatus, avaritia, invidia, periurium, ambitio, iniuria, scelus, sacrilegium viget. Sed satis philosophatum est! Gaudemus civitatem illam, tanto metu vacuam, pacem, laetitiam et amoenitatem exercere. Tu iube interea sarcinulas tuas in nostras aedes inferri; nam eae tibi patent ut tuae, cum nos contra tuis usi fuerimus ut nostris.” - “Geram,” inquit ille, “vobis morem; magis id adeo, ut studiis vestris obsequar quam quod hospitio aut re ulla indigeam. Nam herus meus in iis rebus, ex quarum 477 amore non est sanus, nulli neque operae neque sumptui parcit.” Cum igitur ad nos divorteret hospitio Gallonius, lepide atque hilariter a nobis exceptus, die quodam a prandio ingens ad aures nostras clamor accedit. Cupidi cognoscendi quid esset, ad ostium accurrimus atque, lictores inter, oneratum catenis hominem, honesta facie ac vestitu sane opulento, conspicimus. Rogamus ex popularibus unum quid illic hominis sit, quove abripiatur, num forsan in carcerem, cuiusnam criminis reus efficiatur, num capitalis, num manifesto deprehensus ad tribunal iudicum rapiatur. “Minime,” respondet ille, “sed ad portum adducitur, ut in navim impositus eo deportetur, ubi se furti alligavit, 478 at eius furti, quo mea sententia nullum audivi neque lepidum neque ridiculum magis; ita nimis hic quidem est graphicus sycophanta. Et quo magis eius in furando artem leporemque admiremini: iis manus est adita, quibus non est in toto orbe terrarum neque cautius neque ad rem attentius quisquam. 476 Hor. Carm. III.6.5: “dis te minorem quod geris, imperas.” 477 quorum 1645 478 Ter. Eun. IV.vii. 809: “audin tu? furti se alligat.” 9 10 <?page no="430"?> Book Nine 431 own foolish self-confidence. After all, when the gods decide to exact punishment on men for their barbarity, injustice, and insolence, it seems that the first thing they do is take away any reason and judgment from those they are angry with. 159 Therefore, while King Nicephorus, having removed his armor, was riding around on his horse and exhorting each and every one of his soldiers, he was pierced with an arrow, as I said, and died. In the end, so much hope, planning, effort, and exertion on that man’s part came to naught.” When I had heard all of this, I said, “Gallonius, how difficult it is to struggle like giants against the gods! He who piles up arrogance, ambition, and contempt for the gods as high as a mountain, intent on conquering the heavens, is not constructing a ladder so much as he is courting destruction. That king acted as a servant of the gods on earth, presenting himself as their equal. In the end, spurned and scorned religion demands late but severe punishments from its deserters. Empires are founded on nothing so much as on the observance of, and devotion to, the true religion. Where religion is cast out, perfidy, embezzlement, greed, envy, perjury, ambition, injustice, wickedness, and sacrilege thrive. But enough of this philosophizing! Let us rejoice that that city, now free from so much fear, can cultivate peace, happiness, and beauty. In the meantime, have your bags brought to our place. Our house is open to you, just as when we made ourselves at home at yours.” - “I will do as you say,” Gallonius replied, “more for the sake of complying with your wishes than because I am in need of a place to stay, or of anything else. My master is sparing no effort or expense for his hunting supplies. He has lost all sense in his love for them.” After we had agreeably and cheerfully taken Gallonius in, and he was staying as a guest at our home, after lunch one day we heard a loud noise. Desirous to know what it was, we ran to the door and saw a man with an honest face and dressed in opulent clothing, but weighed down with chains and surrounded by lictors. We asked one of our fellow citizens why that man was there, where he was being taken (whether it was to jail), whether he was guilty of a crime (whether it was a capital one, and whether he had been caught red-handed and was being dragged before a tribunal of judges). “Not at all,” he responded. “He is being taken to the port to be put on a ship and returned to the scene of his crime. As I see it, I have never heard anything funnier or more ridiculous than his deception—he is such a masterful cheat. And just so you admire his skill and gracefulness in thieving even more, he managed to deceive those who are the most careful and most protective of their assets of anyone in the whole world. 159 Jeroen De Keyser identified this as a paraphrase of “Quem Iuppiter vult perdere dementat prius,” a Latin translation of a Greek couplet found in the scholia to Sophocles, Antigone 620: “όταν ό δαίμων άνδρΐ πορσύνῃ κακά, / τον νοῦν εβλαφε πρώτον ώ βουλεύεται” (see also Householder 1936: 165-7). 9 10 <?page no="431"?> 432 Eudemia in Ten Books “Hic vir, in speciem (ut videtis) honestus, consueverat ad signum Palladis, quod in aede istorum, summa atque antiquissima praeditum religione, non solum a popularibus, sed a vicinarum etiam urbium incolis colitur, totos dies genibus minor 479 orare. Quamobrem bonis illis viris coepit esse in admiratione atque honore; quin tantum apud Palladem auctoritate et gratia eum posse arbitrabantur, ut nulla res esset tam ardua, tam difficilis, tam supra naturae vires, quae ab ea impetrari, ipso deprecante, non posset. Sed ubi satis visum est illi aream concinasse, in qua palumbes, seu potius vulpes, illas exciperet, coepit in ea cibum offundere, 480 ac torquem e sinu aureum extrahit, qui erat quinque pondo. Accurrunt omnes ad bolum; sumunt, inspiciunt, laudant. Ille iam sibi propositum esse ait tam divitem Palladi torquem dicare, sed sibi in praesentia opus esse auri pondo, quo aes alienum dissolveret atque existimationem suam tueretur; proinde si auderent mutuitanti 481 credere, se post biduum aurum omne renumeraturum. Interea, quo ipsis cautum esset, torquem illum pignori opponere, qui quinquies tanto pluris esset quam aurum quod peteret; tenerent, inspicerent, num vel in pondere vel in auri substantia quidquam titubatum sit, quaerant. Illi sumunt, iubent eum esse bono animo ac postridie reverti. Nec tamen sibi ipsi desunt, sed peritos advocant, torquem ostendunt, una cum iis ad pondus et ad coticulam exigunt; atque inveniunt aurum esse lectum, purum, et ad pondus respondere. Itaque de communi omnium sententia statuunt, quandoquidem satis ipsis cautum esset, auri illi libram mutuam dare. Postridie revertitur ac sine ulla mora aurum quod poposcerat, mutuum accipit. Gratias agit ac, ‘Propediem,’ inquit, ‘qua via discessit, ad vos aurum revertetur. Sed quia iam deae sacrum esse torquem placuit, date mihi, quaeso, hanc veniam, ut manibus illum meis Palladis collo circundem.’ Illi, ‘Ita,’ inquiunt, ‘de nobis meritus es ut nihil tibi postulanti denegandum esse videatur.’ Atque eadem opera iubent scalas afferri signoque admoveri. Nam illud altius erat positum quam ut manibus cuiusquam posset attingi. Ille ascendit, dat auro osculum, eoque deinde deae collum geminatis nexibus implicat; descendit ac genibus nixus alias preces supplex effundit; postremo omnibus illis honoris gratia stipatus cum gratiarum actione migrat e fano foras. 479 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX n. 10) refers the reader to Hor. Epist. I.XII.27-8: “ius imperiumque Phraates / Caesaris accepit genibus minor.” 480 Plaut. As. I.iii.216: “auceps quando concinnavit aream, offundit cibum.” 481 Plaut. Merc. I.i.52: “omnes tenerent mutuitanti credere.” 11 <?page no="432"?> Book Nine 433 “This man, who, as you see, appears to be respectable, used to spend days at a time on his knees praying to a statue of Pallas that stood in a temple commissioned by these men and was endowed with the highest and most ancient holiness. Not only did local people worship this statue, but those from neighboring cities as well. For this reason, those good men began to admire and honor him; indeed, they believed this man held such influence and favor with Pallas that there was nothing so arduous, so difficult, or so beyond the power of nature that she would not grant it, if that man only prayed for it. But when it seemed he had prepared the field for capturing those pigeons (or foxes, rather), he began placing food in front of her, and he pulled from his pocket a gold necklace weighing five pounds. The men all ran over to the precious object, picked it up, inspected it, and praised it. The man said that it was already his intention to dedicate such a precious necklace to Pallas, but that, at present, he needed a pound of gold in order to discharge a debt and protect his reputation. Therefore, if those men were prepared to lend him what he needed to borrow, he would fully reimburse their gold after two days. In the meantime, in order to provide them a surety, the man would offer his necklace (which was worth five times more than the gold he was asking for) as collateral. He told them to hold the necklace, inspect it, and to go ahead and look into whether there was anything awry regarding the weight or the substance of the gold. They took the necklace, told him not to worry, and to come back the next day. Not ones to neglect their own interests, the men called upon experts and showed them the necklace. Together with them, the experts weighed it, tested it against a touchstone, and found the gold to be excellent, pure, and corresponding to the proper weight. Because the men found the collateral to be satisfactory, they resolved, by consensus, to lend him a pound of gold. The man returned the next day and, without any delay, received the loan of gold that he had asked for. He thanked the men and said, ‘Your gold will return to you very soon in the same way it departed. Because it pleases the goddess that this necklace has already been dedicated to her, please allow me to place it around her neck with my own hands.’ The men replied, ‘You have always treated us in such a way that it doesn’t seem right to deny you anything you ask.’ At the same time, they ordered a ladder be fetched and brought close to the statue (the statue was placed higher than was possible to be reached with just one’s hands). The man climbed the ladder, kissed the gold necklace, and encircled the goddess’s neck with its twin strands. He climbed back down, offered more prayers as a supplicant on bended knee, and finally, surrounded by all of the men’s gratitude and thanks, he walked through the doors and out of the temple. 11 <?page no="433"?> 434 Eudemia in Ten Books “Dies unus abit, alter, tertius, plures; nec religiosus ille oratum, ut antea, venit, neque uspiam apparet. Itaque qui mutuum dederant, mirari, sed nihili pendere, immo deos rogare ut eo abire illum vellent, unde nunquam rediret; quod si ita esset, nusquam potuisse rectius aurum mutuo locari. Sed aliquos post dies, cum spes esset nunquam eum rediturum, detrahunt e collo Palladis torquem ut eius auri fulgore oculos pascerent, tum ut aurifici, quem adduxerant, venderent. At cum eum aurifex diligentius aspiceret eiusque sua manu pondus exigeret, ‘Non est,’ inquit, ‘hic torques ille, quem olim mihi aestimandum obtulistis, sed longe diversus ab illo. Ille enim erat ex auro puro, hic est orichalco conflatus.’ Illi mirari atque insanire eum dicere, etenim se adfuisse, cum torques Palladis collo daretur. ‘Agite,’ inquit ille, ‘ut vultis; vobis sublitum est os pulchre. Nam cum simulabat se Palladi dare, falsum torquem pro vero supposuit.’ Tum vero illi verba sibi data esse intellegunt, atque, ‘O furem elegantem,’ clamant, ‘dignumque qui aureo reste suspensus pendeat per pedes! Sed non dimittendum tempus, verum curandum ut in potestatem iudicum veniat.’ Nec mora; praetorem adeunt, rem narrant, lictores ad eum ex fuga retrahendum impetrant; et qua sunt in suis rebus sagacitate, odorati sunt huc eum castra movisse. Qua re nihil illis potuit magis ex sententia contingere. Etenim tota haec insula fures, utpote communi otio 482 inimicos, tanquam mare mortuorum corpora, evomit nec apud se versari permittit. Quamobrem, omnibus custodiis subiectus, illis est traditus. In hos scripti fuere ab homine arguto versiculi isti, quibus eorum irridetur acumen, qui, cum plus caeteris videre se iactent, inventi fuerint minus oculati quam unius manus veteratoris. Olim fama fuit vos cernere latius Argo, sed caecos talpa nunc patet esse magis, praestinctos 483 nitida radiantis luce metalli, 482 otium commune: the public interest; cf. Cic. Prov. cons. X.24: “quin ego in illo oppugnando rei publicae plus quam otio meo, non nulli in eodem defendendo suo plus otio quam communi prospexerint? ” 483 = praestrictos (according to L&S praestinguo is a false reading for praestringo). 12 13 <?page no="434"?> Book Nine 435 “One day passed, then another, then a third, and then many more, but that devout man no longer came to the temple to pray as he once did, nor did he show his face anywhere. The men who had loaned him the gold were surprised, but they didn’t give much weight to it. On the contrary, they asked gods to send him to that place whence there was no return, since, if that happened, they could never have loaned their gold on better terms. Since they hoped he would never return, after a few days they took the necklace off from around the goddess’s neck, so they could feast their eyes on its flashing gold and then sell it to the goldsmith they had brought with them. But when the goldsmith had examined the necklace carefully and had tested its weight with his hands, he said, ‘This is not the necklace you brought me before to appraise. This is very different from that one. That one was made of pure gold, whereas this one is alloyed with brass.’ The men were astounded, they said the goldsmith was mad and that, in fact, they were present when the necklace was placed around the goddess’s neck. ‘Do what you will,’ the goldsmith said. ‘You were most assuredly duped. While that man was pretending to offer a necklace to Pallas, he substituted the real necklace with a fake one.’ It finally registered with them that they had been had, and they cried out, ‘What a fine thief, who deserves to be strung up and hung by his feet with a gold rope! Let’s not waste any time—we must see if we can subject him to the authority of the court.’ Without delay, they went before the praetor, explained what happened, demanded that the lictors bring him back from his escape, and (such was their keenness of perception in such matters) they determined that he had already pulled up stakes and come here. This being the case, nothing more to their liking could possibly have befallen them. Indeed, because thieves are so inimical to the public interest here, this entire island purges itself of them—just like the sea does with the bodies of the dead—and its citizens do not permit any thieves to live here. Consequently, the thief was taken into custody by the guards and brought to them. A clever man wrote these brief verses against those men, in which he made fun of their intelligence. Though they brag that they are keener than everyone else, the thief exposed them as being blinder than the hand of one sly fox: It was once said that you could see farther than Argus, but now it is clear that you are blinder than a mole and weakened by the gleaming light of shiny metal, while the clever old fox draws you into fraud with sleight of hand. Who would believe, after this, that you possess any trace of keenness, when a thief’s single skilled hand sees more than you do? ” 12 13 <?page no="435"?> 436 Eudemia in Ten Books ipse manu in fraudem dum veterator agit. Esse ullum vobis quis posthac credat acumen, 5 docta quibus furis plus videt una manus? ” Sed satis mirari non possum quanam illi fiducia praetoris fidem implorare aut eidem os suum ostendere ausi sint. Qui praetor, paucos menses ante, arguta atque ridicula testamenti cuiusdam interpretatione ludos eos maximos fecerat et in sermones hominum adduxerat; iure an iniuria, nihil ad hoc tempus.” - “Teneo,” inquit Gallonius, “quid dicas; res est ridicula et continuo ad nos allata. Dedit, ut ais, sermonibus locum, atque insuper quod perpetuo rideremus.” Sed in nos intuens: “Narra, quaeso, istorum gratia, quamquam poëtam nescio quem audio scripsisse rem versibus.” “Boni,” inquit, “isti viri locupletum hereditatibus inhiare 484 vulgo creduntur, neque dubito quin immerito hac fama laborent; sed quotusquisque potest sermones iniquorum effugere? Aiunt igitur eos locupletem ac nobilem quendam hominem adegisse ut ipsos omnium suorum bonorum heredes institueret. Erat huic fratris filius, adolescens honestus ac probus; huic rogati sunt eam hereditatis partem restituere, quae maxime ipsis placeret; et quia eum patruus in filii loco diligebat, ipsorum custodiae fideique mandavit. Testator moritur. Isti (ut fama est) totam sibi hereditatem usurpant, inopi ac misero illi vix tenuem quandam particulam tradunt. Qua iniuria commotus, vocat eos in ius ad praetorem; illi accurrunt; queritur adolescens ex tanta patrui ipsius hereditate, cuius, si ea in istis fides esset quae esse deberet, bonam ad se partem venire oportebat, nihil fere nisi plorare relictum. Orat, obsecrat ut tantum sibi restitui iubeat quantum ad inopiam, qua urgebatur, sublevandam esset satis. Respondent isti rogatos se esse, ex testamento, eam illi partem bonorum restituere, quae ipsis placeret; placere autem eam, quam elargiti essent; ac falli adolescentem, si crederet se nummo ab eis amplius litium terrore erasurum. Iubet praetor tabulas testamenti proferri; tradunt illi; aspicit, legit atque invenit rogatos esse heredes eam adolescenti partem restituere, quae ipsis placuisset. Tum paululum astitit severa fronte, quasi consilia in animum convocans, quo consuleret quid potissimum agi oporteret; et cum paulum in ea cogitatione defixus haesisset, ‘Arbitror,’ inquit, ‘me invenisse quid adolescenti ex testatoris voluntate debeatur. Nempe scriptum video eam adolescenti hereditatis partem tribuendam esse, quae vobis maxime placeat. Utra igitur earum partium vobis magis placet, eane in quam adolescen- 484 Plaut. Stich. IV.ii.605: “nam illic homo tuam hereditatem inhiat quasi esuriens lupus.” 14 15 <?page no="436"?> Book Nine 437 I couldn’t wonder enough at the audacity with which those men dared to entreat the praetor or show their faces before him. This was the praetor who, a few months earlier, had roundly mocked them for their cunning and absurd interpretation of a certain last will and testament, which caused them to be the talk of the town. Whether that was right or wrong is of no concern to us at present.” Gallonius responded, “I understand what you are saying. What happened is absurd, and the news about it reached us immediately. It provided fodder for gossip, as you say, and gave us something to laugh about forever.” Looking over at us he said, “Tell us the story for their sake—although I hear that some poet has put the matter to verse.” “These good men,” the other man continued, “are commonly thought to drool over the inheritances of wealthy men, and I doubt they are vexed by that reputation undeservedly. But how many people can escape the gossip of dishonest men? They say that they forced a certain wealthy nobleman to name them as the heirs to his entire estate. This nobleman’s brother had a son, who was an honest and upright young man. The men were asked to restore to this son the portion of the inheritance that was most appealing to them; and, because his uncle loved him like a son, he had placed him under the guardianship and care of these men. The man with the will died. The story goes that those men took the entire inheritance for themselves, and they handed over barely even a tiny part of the bequest to the destitute and wretched nephew. Shaken by this injustice, the nephew summoned them to court before a judge. They hurried over. The young man complained that almost nothing was left of his uncle’s sizeable inheritance (the majority of which should have come to him, if those men had been as trustworthy as they should have been) except tears. He begged and pleaded with the judge to order that enough of the inheritance be restored to him to alleviate the poverty that had beset him. The men responded that, according to the will, they were required to restore to the nephew the portion of the inheritance that was most appealing to them; that what appealed to them was to give the nephew the portion they had already distributed to him; and that the young man was mistaken if he thought that, by threatening them with litigation, he was going to clean them out of even one more penny. The judge ordered them to produce the document of the will. They handed it to him. He looked it over, read it, and found that it instructed the heirs to restore to the young man the portion of the inheritance that was most appealing to them. He then stood 14 15 <?page no="437"?> 438 Eudemia in Ten Books tem vocastis an ea quam vobis attribuistis? ’ - ‘Ea,’ inquiunt, ‘quam ad quotidianum sociorum victum atque ad deorum immortalium cultum elegimus.’ - ‘At haec est,’ subdidit praetor, ‘quae patrui testamento fratris filio debetur. Vobis autem eam sumite, quam adolescenti reliquistis, quaeque minus placebat.’ Fit clamor omnium et risus; illi plura loqui prohibiti, tanquam artificio suo capti, tristes ab iure discedunt.” His dictis, ille abiit. Gallonius in quandam armorum officinam, ibi proximam, ad procuranda dynastae sui negotia se confert. Sub vesperam, arcubus et sagittis onustus, domum regreditur. Neque ita multo post cenam poscimus, accumbimus, cenamus. Cenati, plura ille de nobis, ac nos de illo percontati, sermonem in multam noctem produximus, ac praetoris in primis astum admirati sumus, quo adolescenti subvenit et cupiditatibus hominum obviam ivit. 485 At ego, “Si vera,” inquam, “esset avaritiae istorum fama (id quod in praesentia non quaero), sed si, inquam, haec fama valeret, et cum habitent hic apud nos, leve aliquid avidi atque appetentis animi signum ostenderent, profecto, publico consilio extra urbem eiecti, cogerentur mutare coloniam. Sunt hic homines quietissimi atque ab omni prorsus cupiditate alieni, nec ferre possunt eos, quos transversos lucri cupiditas agit.” 486 “At isti,” inquit Gallonius, “in commune consulunt quid facerent iis, qui non privata cuiuspiam bona atque profana, sed publica, sed deorum immortalium religioni consecrata, impio ac nefario scelere domum suam avertunt, 487 dum procuratoris vel administratoris nomine debacchantur ac regnant. At nemo istorum apud eos, unde venio, in iudicium vocatus, poenas tanto sceleri debitas solvit. Etenim non furti contra eos agitur, 488 sed leviore actione confligitur, 489 ut (quod indignissimum est in his causis) non de improbitate, avaritia, rapacitate istorum hominum, sed de iure civili iudicium fieri videatur. Itaque cum 485 Cic. Verr. II.I.XLI.106: “Cupiditati hominum ait se obviam ire.” 486 Cf. Sen. Ep. VIII.3: “cum coepit transversos agere felicitas.” 487 Cic. Verr. II.LXX.164: “ut possim illud probare, si velim, omnem te hanc pecuniam domum tuam avertisse.” 488 actio furti: a legal action of theft (Inst. 4.1.13-7). 489 Cic. Caec. III.8: “potuisti enim leviore actione confligere, potuisti ad tuum ius faciliore et commodiore iudicio pervenire.” 16 <?page no="438"?> Book Nine 439 there for a little while with a stern expression, as if going over in his mind his various choices regarding which way he should rule and what the best course of action was. Hesitating a bit while he focused in reflection, he said, ‘I think I have figured out what is owed to the young man according to the wishes of the person who wrote the will. To be sure, I see it documented here that the portion of the inheritance that is most appealing to you should be bequeathed to the young man. Therefore, which portion most appeals to you, the one you gave to the young man, or the one you appropriated for yourselves? ’ They replied, ‘The one we chose for feeding our colleagues on a daily basis and for worshipping the immortal gods.’ - ‘Then,’ the judge subjoined, ‘according to his uncle’s will, that is the portion which is owed to his nephew. You take for yourselves what you had left to the young man, which is what appealed to you the least.’ Everyone applauded and laughed, and those men, prohibited from uttering another word, and as if caught out by their own trick, left the courthouse crestfallen.” The man left after he had finished speaking. Gallonius headed over to some nearby hunting supply store to run his dynast’s errands. He returned home at dusk weighed down with bows and arrows. Shortly thereafter, we asked for our dinner, reclined at the table, and ate. After dinner, we asked each other many questions and talked late into the night. Most of all, we marveled at the praetor’s cunning, with which he came to the young man’s rescue and opposed the greedy men. I asked, “If their greed was so notorious—which I am not trying to ascertain at this time—but, I repeat, if their reputation carried any weight, and if they showed the slightest sign of a greedy and acquisitive heart while they were living here among us, they would have been sent packing from the city right away, by public consensus, and forced to move to a new town. Everyone on this island is very peaceful and utterly devoid of greed, and they cannot tolerate anyone who is led astray by a lust for wealth.” Gallonius replied, “But the people you refer to are acting out of the common good with regard to how they treat those who, in their unholy and abominable wickedness, divert not just someone’s private and worldly assets into their own coffers, but also public assets that are set apart for the worship of immortal gods, while they rage wildly and act with the authority of a superintendent or administrator. Where I come from, none of those sorts of people is ever summoned before a judge or pays a proper penalty for such a crime. In fact, judges don’t press charges of theft against them but instead counter them with a milder sort of action, such that (what is most shameful in these cases) it seems that the civil law itself is on trial instead of these men’s dishonesty, greed, and rapaciousness. Thus, when they should be handed over to an executioner, whipped with a lash, and hung on a cross, you’ll instead see them standing tall before a judge and being defended and supported by those who insist that they themselves be given the same license, should they 16 <?page no="439"?> 440 Eudemia in Ten Books oporteret eos ad carnificem dari ac virgis caesos in crucem agi, videas erectos ante iudicem stare, defendi ac foveri ab iis, qui postulant idem sibi licere, si ad eiusmodi procurationes administrationesque perveniant. Audite unius istorum furtum lepidissimum ac risum continete, si potestis. “Multa dicuntur esse in circumiectis huic mari insulis Palladis fana, in quibus ea sanctissime religiosissimeque colitur, sed mira quaedam in insula Daphnia privatim ac publice est Daphniae Palladis religio. Neque solum incolae, verum etiam ceterarum insularum gentes et nationes eam maxime colunt, in suis rebus dubiis ac difficilibus invocant, adeunt, rogant. Tanta enim est auctoritas ac vetustas eius religionis, ut, quemadmodum de Cerere Ennensi inquit Tullius, cum illuc homines eunt, non ad aedem Palladis, sed ad ipsam Palladem proficisci videantur. 490 Est ibi, unde huc sum profectus, insigne xenodochium nationis cuiusdam barbarae, quod pulchrum atque magnificum Palladis Psychiae templum habet adiunctum. Id locuples in primis templum per certos eiusdem nationis viros, ad id praesertim electos, administratur. Hi, ut leges eorum sunt, suffragiis unum sibi quotannis oeconomum legunt; ad hunc summa rerum omnium redit 491 ; hic annuis templi vectigalibus exigendis et curandis praeest; hic aedituis ac sacerdotibus imperat; hic ad xenodochii templique necessarios sumptus pecuniam enumerat. Igitur quidam, qui anno superiore oeconomus Palladis Psychiae eius pecunias administraverat, magistratu abiens, cum ad oeconomum qui ipsi successerat, rationes ut moris est redderet, profert tabulas in quibus erat praescriptum minas triginta a se esse persolutas in rem Palladis Psychiae in primis utilem, neque cui, neque quam ad rem datae essent adscriptum. Oeconomus instabat, urgebat ut ostenderet cuinam et quam ob causam tantam pecuniam tulisset expensam. Ille recusare eique se esse probaturum dicere, cui maxime opus esset. “Ergo vocatur in ius ad praetorem peregrinum; quo casu eo die veneram, a dynasta meo missus, ut suis verbis praetori reum quendam commendarem. Ille adest; repetuntur ab eo minae illae triginta. Respondet eas iis, quibus debebantur, expensas. ‘Cuinam? ’ aiunt. ‘Navarcho,’ inquit, ‘qui me, uxorem, liberos, ancillas, servos in insulam Daphniam advexit. Tum stabulario, ad quem per 490 Cic. Verr. II.XLIX.108: “Tanta erat enim auctoritas et vetustas illius religionis ut, cum illuc irent, non ad aedem Cereris sed ad ipsam Cererem proficisci viderentur.” See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 14. 491 Caes. BGall. VI.11: “earumque factionum principes sunt … quorum ad arbitrium iudiciumque summa omnium rerum consiliorumque redeat.” 17 18 <?page no="440"?> Book Nine 441 ever face similar charges and administration of justice. Listen to the delightful deception of one of these men and try to control your laughter, if you can. “They say there are many temples to Pallas on neighboring islands in this sea, where they piously and devoutly worship her; but on the island of Daphnia there is a certain remarkable cult of Pallas Daphnia 160 that is practiced both privately and publicly. It is not only the inhabitants of that island who fervently worship her, but also the people and nations from other islands who call upon her, visit her, and ask for her aid in uncertain and difficult matters. That cult is so powerful and so ancient that—just as Cicero says of the Temple of Ceres at Enna—when people travel there, they feel like they are traveling not to see the Temple of Pallas, but Pallas herself. Where I have just come from, there is a famous lodging house, belonging to a certain barbarian nation, that sits next to the beautiful and magnificent temple to Pallas Psychia. 161 Most importantly, that opulent temple is managed by certain wealthy men of that nation who are chosen specifically for that purpose. According to their laws, these people elect one person every year to serve as the temple steward, and the most important parts of the entire operation are referred to him. He oversees the collection and handling of the rent; he manages the sacristans and priests; and he distributes the funds for all of the necessary expenses of the lodging house and the temple. Therefore, when a certain man—who had served the year before as steward of Pallas Psychia and had managed the temple funds—was stepping down from his post and, as was the custom, settling up the accounts with the steward who was succeeding him, he presented documents in which it was recorded that he had paid out thirty minae primarily for things relevant to Pallas Psychia, but he did not record to whom or for what purpose the money had been spent. The new steward pressed hard and urged his predecessor to show him to whom, and for what purpose, the money had been allocated. The other man refused, saying that he was only allowed to divulge that information on a need-to-know basis. “He was therefore summoned to court before the praetor peregrinus, 162 where I had come, by chance, that very day, because my dynast had sent me to put in a 160 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX n. 13) notes that this is a reference to Our Lady of Loreto, presumably because this was an identification for the Temple of Diana Daphnitae in Book Seven (see n. 137). I disagree that they are necessarily the same, since they are referred to by different names (Pallas Daphne versus Diana Daphnitae). 161 Santa Maria dell’Anima is the national church of Germany in Rome and the hospice of German-speaking visitors. See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 15. 162 The praetor urbanus and the praetor peregrinus were two categories of judges in Republican Rome, the former assigned to administer justice to Roman citizens and the latter to foreigners. 17 18 <?page no="441"?> 442 Eudemia in Ten Books mensem integrum divertimus, quique nos opipare lauteque, dum illic fuimus, lepidis obsoniis accepit.’ Rogant rursus, instant, urgent ut dicat quaenam tanta nosocomii necessitas illuc eum navigare ac tantos sumptus facere compulisset. Qui aliquando coactum ait se eam navigationem suscepisse ut Palladem Daphniam pro Pallade Psychia oraret eiusque illam fidei tutelaeque commendaret. Hic omnes qui aderant cachinnos extulere. Summa praetoris voluntas erat furem illum manifestarium in minas triginta condemnandi. “Sed quidam ex eadem natione, quo ipsis eius exemplo honestius furari liceret, dicunt pro testimonio nihil ab eo novi esse commissum; ita ab omnibus fieri solere. Tum praetor interrogat unum ex iis, qui ceteris acrius pro illo depugnabat, quemnam cuperet causam illam obtinere, xenodochium an Verrium (id erat oeconomo illi nomen). Qui, ‘Verrium.’ ait, ‘Nam bonus vir est. Antea quam veniremus huc, emit mihi in popina ientaculum quinque drachmis: una sextarium floris vini veteris; altera caseum mollicellum, 492 farcimen, panes; reliquis tribus carnem vitulinam assam et pullos gallinaceos. Tum duas liberali forma filias habet, quarum ego alteram amo et illa me contra; qui est amor, ut inquit ille, cultu optimus. 493 Atque arrhabonem amoris hunc anulum mihi misit ac praeterea sudaria duo, quorum unum eccum hic habeo, alterum domi custodio.’ Instauratus est omnium risus; ceteri testes stomachari atque ebrium illum esse dicere. Eodem tempore veniunt a summis viris ad praetorem commendationes dimissis manibus multae. Itaque ‘solvuntur risu tabulae, missusque recedit.’” 494 Hic ego excepi, “At hunc ne quidem ipsa apud nos servare potuisset! Atque ut ad cupiditates hominum, unde digressus es, redeam: dicam id quod superioribus diebus apud amphitheatrum hiscemet oculis vidi. Iacebat prope illud in via pauperculus quidam extinctus. Evocatus est statim curiae illius magister, intra cuius ditionis terminos mortuus ille iacere existimabatur, ut eum efferendum 492 Plaut. Poen. I.ii.367: “meus molliculus caseus.” 493 Plaut. Mil. II.i.100-1: “is amabat meretricem acre Athenis Atticis / et illa illum contra; qui est amor cultu optumus.” 494 Hor. Sat. II.I.86: “Solventur risu tabulae, tu missus abibis.” 19 20 <?page no="442"?> Book Nine 443 good word to the praetor for some defendant. That steward was there and was being asked to hand over the thirty minae. He responded that the thirty minae had already been paid to the people to whom they were owed. ‘To whom? ’ they asked. He replied, ‘To the ship’s captain who brought me, my wife, my children, my maidservants, and my servants to the island of Daphnia. Next, I paid the innkeeper where we stayed for a whole month and who, while we were there, hosted us splendidly and sumptuously with delightful meals.’ They pressed hard and urged the man to tell them why he was in such need of an infirmary that he was compelled to sail there and spend so much money. He finally gave in and explained that he had undertaken the voyage in order to pray to Pallas Daphnia on behalf of Pallas Psychia, and to commend her to Pallas Daphnia’s faithfulness and protection. Everyone who was there burst out laughing. It was the praetor’s greatest wish to fine the thief, who had been caught red-handed, thirty minae. “But some of the steward’s countrymen—so that, with him as an example, they might be able to steal more credibly—testified that he had committed nothing out of the ordinary, and that it was customary for everyone to behave like that. The praetor asked one of them, who was fighting harder than the others on the man’s behalf, whom he would like to see the verdict come down for, the lodging house or Verrius 163 (that was the steward’s name). The man replied, ‘For Verrius, because he is a good man. Before we came here, he bought me breakfast in a pub for five drachmas. He spent one drachma on a pint of wine with an aged bouquet; another on soft cheese, a sausage, and bread; and the remaining three on grilled veal and chicken. He also has two beautiful daughters. I am in love with the youngest one, and she loves me too, which (as he says) is the best kind of love to cultivate. And he sent me this ring as a pledge of our friendship, as well as two handkerchiefs, one of which, as you can see, I carry with me, and the other I keep at home.’ Everyone roared again with laughter, and the other witnesses became enraged and said that the man was drunk. At the same time, many commendations arrived to the judge at a fast clip from the most important men. Thus, the cases were dismissed with a laugh, and the man left when he was released.” At that point I followed up: “Where we are from, not even the goddess Salus 164 herself could have saved that man! And now to return to the topic of men’s desires, which you digressed from: I will tell you what I saw at the amphitheater 163 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX n. 16) notes that this name recalls that of Gaius Verres (ca. 120- 43 BCE) a Roman magistrate who was notorious for his mismanagement of Sicily. The crimes he perpetrated against the province and its people are immortalized in Cicero’s Verrine Orations. 164 Salus, whose temple was located on the Quirinal, personified the safety and welfare of the state. 19 20 <?page no="443"?> 444 Eudemia in Ten Books humandumque curaret. Etenim hic ad curiarum magistros non solum pertinet dividere argenti nummos in viros, res divinas procurare, curialibus suis opem ferre, verum etiam mortuos sepulturae mandare. Unde non parum ad eos lucri redundat, ex funerum videlicet pompis, ex divitum ac nobilium virorum sepultura. Verum lex, quot et quantae sint hominum cupiditates intellegens, praecipit ut eos quibus rei nihil est, sepultura gratis afficiant. Magister igitur curiae vocatus accedit; qui desperans se ab illo funere posse lucelli quidquam abradere, ostendit munus illud suum non esse, sed proximae curiae magistro totum incumbere. Accersitur ille; qui item ob eandem causam illud a se onus removet atque in alterum reicit. Fit pugna inter eos et contentio, sed demum, re infecta, uterque discedit. “Verum quidam eorum qui aderant, sive misericordia sive rei indignitate commotus, cucullum ex charta confectum mortui manibus inserit, cum pagella quae demonstrabat non posse inopem illum humo iniecta contegi sine praetereuntium misericordia. Vix hora intercesserat ab hoc eius invento, cum cucullus ille repertus est nummis aereis argenteisque refertus. Tum videre licuit magistrorum illorum cupiditatem. Nam ubi eius lucelli nuntius eorum pervenit ad aures, continuo dant sese in cursum atque obvios quosque in cursu capite aut cubito aut pectore offendunt, aut genu, ac paene ruperunt sibi ramices currendo. 495 Itaque eodem fere momento temporis ambo perveniunt incipiuntque iurgiis, maledictis, clamoribus inter se contendere, ac sibi quisque defuncti illius cadaver asserere ac suum esse affirmare. Sed re ad magistratus delata, statim, concursu populi facto, pulsi sunt e civitate atque in malam rem iussi, quantum potest, abire.” Ad extremum, multis verbis ultro citroque habitis, cum iam somnus obreperet, nos lectulis commendavimus. Postridie mane, cum etiam tum nos lectus haberet, accipimus esse ad ianuam ignotum quendam, qui nos magnopere evocaret. Quaerimus qua aetate, qua facie, quo habitu esset. Respondetur esse hominem senem, audacem, ore neque ita elegante neque venusto, sed quod saepe iratum canem imitaretur; praeterea tunica togaque ad talos usque demissa. Itaque seminudi ad ostium accurrimus, honorifice hominem excipimus, quaerimus quis sit, quid poscat, quid iubeat. Ille 495 Cf. Plaut. Merc. I.ii.138: “Tua causa rupi ramices.” 21 22 <?page no="444"?> Book Nine 445 a few days ago with my very own eyes. A destitute man was lying dead in the road next to that structure. The prefect of the ward was summoned, within whose jurisdiction the dead man was thought to be located, so he could see to carrying the man away and burying him. Indeed, the ward prefects here are not only responsible for distributing silver coins to every man, tending to religious rites, and helping out the people of his district, but also for seeing to the burial of the dead. And the amount of money that flows to them, namely from funeral processions and from the burials of wealthy noblemen, is not insignificant. But the law, which has a firm grasp of how great and how all encompassing men’s greed can be, mandates that those with no possessions receive a free burial. The ward prefect came when called. Despairing that he would be able to eke out even a minuscule profit from that poor man’s funeral, he declared that the responsibility was not his, but that it fell entirely to the prefect of the neighboring ward. That prefect was sent for, and he too dodged responsibility for the same reason, foisting it back on the first prefect. A fight and a struggle between the two prefects ensued and, finally, they both departed with the matter unresolved. “One of the people who had been witness to this, however—moved either by pity or by the sheer indignity of the matter—placed a paper hat into the dead man’s hands, with a sign indicating that the destitute man would not receive a proper burial if not for the charity of passersby. Hardly had an hour gone by from when he was discovered, when the hat was found to be filled with bronze and silver coins. At that point you were able to witness the greed of those ward prefects. When news of that money reached their ears, they immediately broke into a run, shoved anyone who got in their way with their head, elbow, chest, or knee, and almost burst their lungs as they ran. Both men arrived at almost the same moment, and they began fighting each other with quarrels, swearing, and yelling, each one claiming and insisting that the body of the dead man was located in his district. The matter was brought before the magistrates, and, with a crowd gathered, the two prefects were immediately expelled from the city, told to go hang, and to go as far away as possible.” At last, after we had exchanged many words back and forth, we went to bed because sleep was already creeping up on us. The next day, while we were still lying in bed, we heard that there was someone we didn’t know at the door, who was enthusiastically calling for us. We asked how old he was, what he looked like, and how he was dressed. We were told that he was a brash old man, whose face was neither handsome nor pleasing, but which often resembled that of an angry dog; besides that, his tunic and toga were hanging all the way down to his ankles. So we ran to the door half naked and respectfully received the man; we asked him who he was, what he wanted, and what we could do for him. He politely returned our greeting and 21 22 <?page no="445"?> 446 Eudemia in Ten Books vicissim humaniter mutuam salutem reddit. Atque, “Ut sciatis, nos sumus omnium longe doctissimi dignique cuius amicitiam ultro expetitum adveniatis; sed fama humanitatis vestrae capti, et quod alias vos vidisse meminimus, eam vobis magni beneficii loco deferimus; ea utimini, ut vultis.” Nos gratias illi maximas agimus ac vicissim operam nostram pollicemur. At Paulus Aemilius, “Ubinam,” inquit, “nos vidisti? Te enim ante hunc diem neque vidimus neque novimus. At iam subvenit ubi tibi conspecti forsitan fuimus: in Eudemia, tum, cum in illum coetum litteratorum hominum, qui ibi cogitur, venimus.” At ille, “Facis,” inquit, “adeo iniuriam, cum me in eorum numero refers, qui Minutii Sinistri domum frequentant. Egone in illius aedes pedem inferem? Egone in illum conventum venire sustineam, ubi nemo est, qui mihi sit ingenio, eruditione, doctrina, longo intervallo proximus, ubi ex illis novorum voluminum, tanquam novorum operum, architectis nemo dignus est prae me, qui figat palum in parietem. 496 Sed iam malo me ex meis scriptis quam ex mea vel cuiusquam oratione noscatis. Ea enim propediem sum editurus, quibus lectis, faenum dicetis alios esse oportere, 497 prae ut eorum divinitas quae afferet. Pudet dicere, sed dicendum est tamen: vincent gloriam omnium superiorum. Nihil in eis mediocre, nihil usitatum, nihil commune invenietis, sed omnia summa, omnia nova, omnia ex ingenii mei acumine magnitudineque depromta. Dic ut audeat ex sciolis illis ad ea quisquam accedere. Profecto infinitate doctrinae tanquam fulgore perstrictus refugiet, vel desperatione debilitatus omnem simul discendi scribendique voluntatem abiciet. Quid multum moror? Quemadmodum de acipensere dixit Pontius Scipioni, qui multos ad eum piscem erat invitaturus, mea scripta paucorum hominum sunt 498 ; quorum fama compulsi viri doctissimi ac domi suae nobilissimi ab ultimis orbis terrae partibus ad me recta venerunt, ut mecum amicitias iungerent, ut mea perlegerent. 499 Qui, duobus vel tribus lineis lectis, continuo exclamarunt, ‘O divinum hominem! O dignum, cuius causa tam multos ac prope innumeros itineris labores ac pericula susciperemus! ’” - “Tu quidem,” inquit Paulus Aemilius, “oratione tua me simul incendis ac deterres, invitas ac reicis, vocas et expellis. Nam eximia ista scriptorum tuorum pulchritu- 496 Plaut. Mil. IV.iv.1140: “quia enim non sum dignus prae te palum ut figam in parietem.” 497 Cic. De or. II.LVII.233: “oratorem eum, quem cum Catulus nuper audisset, ‘foenum alios aiebat esse oportere.’” 498 Cic. Fat. frgm. 4 (from Macrobius Sat. III 16.3-4): “Nam cum esset apud se ad Lavernium Scipio unaque Pontius, allatus est forte Scipioni acupenser, qui admodum raro capitur sed est piscis, ut ferunt, in primis nobilis. Cum autem Scipio unum et alterum ex eis qui eum salutatum venerant invitavisset pluresque etiam invitaturus videretur, in aurem Pontius, Scipio, inquit, vide quid agas: acupenser iste paucorum hominum est.” 499 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX n. 22) refers to similar sounding passages in Plin. Ep. II.II.8 and Jerome Ep. LIII.1. 23 <?page no="446"?> Book Nine 447 said, “As you know, I am the most learned person by far and am worthy of the friendship you have come here to seek. But I have been taken by the reputation of your learning, and because I recall having seen you elsewhere, I am offering you my friendship as a great favor; so please enjoy it, if you like.” We thanked him profusely and reciprocated his pledge of service. Paulus Aemilius said, “Where on earth did you see us? For our part, we have never seen you nor met you before today. But now it occurs to me where you may have seen us—it was in Eudemia, that time we attended that meeting of learned men who gather there.” But the man responded, “You insult me by counting me among that group that gathers at the home of Minutius Sinister. 165 Would I set foot in that man’s home? Would I be able to tolerate going to those meetings where there is no one, by a long shot, who comes close to my level of ingenuity, erudition, and learning; and where, out of that group of authors of new books, like architects of new buildings, not one is the least bit worthy, compared to me, of driving a nail into a wall? But now I would rather you got to know me through my writings rather than through what I or anyone else says about me. I am going to publish them shortly, and once you have read them, you will say that all other books are chaff compared to the divine quality conveyed by my writings. I am embarrassed to say it, but nevertheless it must be said: my writings will surpass the glory of everything that came before. You will find nothing ordinary in them, nothing usual, nothing common; everything in them is extraordinary, new, and drawn from the keenness and greatness of my mind. Tell me, which of those sciolists would dare approach my writings? He will surely flee, struck by the blazing fire of my boundless erudition; or, paralyzed by despair, he will cast aside any desire for learning and writing. Why am I going on and on? Just as Pontius said to Scipio regarding that sturgeon, when Scipio was about to invite a number of people to try the fish, my writings are meant for the very few. Men who were learned and held the highest rank in their own communities used to come directly to me, driven by the fame of my writings, from all over the world to bind themselves to me in friendship and to read my works. After they had read two or three lines, they immediately exclaimed, ‘You godlike, worthy man! We were right to undertake so many and almost countless labors and dangers on this journey for your sake! ’” - “Indeed,” said Paulus Aemilius, “your words simultaneously excite me and terrify me; draw me in and repel me; summon me and drive me away. I sense myself being strongly compelled to read your works, on account of the extraordinary beauty you describe. On the other hand, I feel myself being held back by an awareness of my meager abilities. I fear, were I to 165 A reference to the Academy meeting in Book Three. See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 20. 23 <?page no="447"?> 448 Eudemia in Ten Books dine, quam memoras, sentio me vehementer impelli ad legendum; rursus ingenii mei tenuitatis conscientia retineri. Nam vereor, si in ea inciderim, ne in iis sciolis de quibus commemorasti inveniar ac verbum prorsus nullum intellegam.” “Scientiam vero regendae reipublicae,” subicit ille, “quis me rectius est assecutus ac plenius? Multae respublicae, multa regna stant hodie meis praeceptis institutisque servandis. Quam multi reges et tetrarchae, a me admoniti, gubernandae reipublicae formam mutaverunt! Nonne eorum ad me oratores fere quotidie noctu conveniunt, ut meam de rebus ad salutem et incolumitatem regum suorum pertinentibus sententiam exquirant? Verum ita interdum sunt molesti, ut meo non liceat dare operam negotio. 500 At non parum saepe mei quoque ipsius rationem me habere contingit. Nam cum scribere aliquid aggressus, si ab eorum aliquo interpellor, iubeo eum in proximum cubiculum secedere ibique tantisper manere, donec vel orationis vel carminis, quod laborat in fine, sententiam expleam. 501 Quid? Regis Nicephori adventus, qui erat aliis formidabilis, si in Eudemiam, ut constituerat, victor irrupisset, mihi uni iucundus accidisset. 502 Nam eram illi in honore et gratia, quod saepe meas cartas legisset, meaeque vim doctrinae sapientiaeque admiratus fuisset. Tum magna mihi necessitudo cum eo intercedebat, qui erat regi a secretis, eiusque consiliis intimus. Nec mirum est tam incredibili meum pectus sapientia esse completum. Ab optima enim schola optimisque magistris profectus, in orbis terrae quasi theatrum prodii. Etenim duobus summis viris atque dignitate principibus navavi operam iuvenis, quorum alter, cum plurimum sciret, id etiam ab omnibus sciri et praedicari cupiebat; alter vero, cum nihilominus sapientia doctrinaque praestaret, id non tam celebrari quam ignorari malebat.” Interpellavi hoc loco ac “Tibi,” inquam, “libenter operam damus, sed vides ut paene nudi sumus ac ‘matutina parum cautos iam frigora mordent.’ 503 Nam quo tibi advenienti celerius obviam iremus, vix tunicae sumendae spatium habuimus. Mitte nos, amabo, ut calceos pedibus et humero pallium demus, ut ora manusque lavemus; vel, si nos audias, ire hercle melius est te intro et nobiscum una diem hunc frangere.” 504 - “Non tantum,” inquit ille, “est ab re mea otii. Nam (quod paene oblitus fueram) dandae mihi sunt duae duobus potentissimis regibus de rebus maximis epistolae. Quamobrem iubeo vos valere.” - “Nos quoque,” subicimus, “te validum atque integrum esse cupimus. Sed quodnam tibi nomen 500 Plaut. Mil. I.i.71: “ut tuo non liceat dare operam negotio.” 501 Petron. Sat. 115: “‘Sinite me’ inquit ‘sententiam explere; laborat carmen in fine.’” 502 acccidisset 1645 503 Hor. Sat. II.VI.45: “matutina parum cautos iam frigora mordent.” See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 25. 504 Cf. Hor. Carm. II.7.6-7: “cum quo morantem saepe diem mero / fregi.” 24 25 <?page no="448"?> Book Nine 449 undertake to read them, I would find myself among those sciolists you spoke of because I wouldn’t understand a single word.” He continued, “Who has achieved a more correct or fuller knowledge of statecraft than I have? Many states and many kingdoms today continue to observe my precepts and institutions. How many kings and tetrarchs have changed the way they govern their state once I advised them! Do their spokesmen not come to me almost daily, at night, to seek my opinion on matters pertaining to the well-being and safety of their kings? Sometimes they bother me so much that I can’t give attention to my own work. But it happens quite often that I must give some thought to my own affairs. If one of these spokesmen interrupts me when I have begun writing something, I order him to withdraw into the next room and stay there until I have completed a sentence of my oration, or a poem that I am taking pains to finish. No doubt, if King Nicephorus, whom everyone else feared greatly, had prevailed in invading Eudemia, as he had originally planned, I would have been the only one happy about it. He held me in high honor and esteem because he had often read my writings and admired the power of my learning and wisdom. I then developed a strong bond with the person who was that king’s secretary and privy counselor. 166 It is no wonder that my heart was filled to the brim with his extraordinary wisdom. After I had completed my excellent schooling with excellent teachers, I went out onto the world stage, so to speak. As a young man, I apprenticed with two noblemen of the highest status, one of whom knew a great deal and wanted that fact to be known and talked about by everyone, while the other one, although he excelled in wisdom and learning, preferred it to be ignored rather than celebrated.” At this point I interrupted the man, saying, “We would gladly give you our attention, but, as you see, we are practically naked, and the morning cold is nipping at us because we’ve been careless. We were in such a hurry to greet you that we barely had time to put on our tunics. Please allow us to put our shoes on our feet, our cloaks over our shoulders, and to wash our face and hands. Or, if you are amenable, by God, it is better for you to come inside and spend the day together with us.” He responded, “I don’t have that much free time from my affairs. I had almost completely forgotten that I owe two letters to two very powerful kings regarding matters of the utmost importance. For that reason, I bid you goodbye.” We replied, “We also hope that you are well. But can you tell 166 Possibly Axel Gustafsson Oxenstierna, Count of Södermöre (1583-1654), a Swedish statesman, member of the Swedish Privy Council, and confidant of both Gustavus II Adolphus and Queen Christina. See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 24. 24 25 <?page no="449"?> 450 Eudemia in Ten Books esse dicamus? ” - “Suffeno,” inquit ille, “est mihi nomen.” - “Suffene igitur vale, et caput istud tuum magnum ac laudabile iis regibus ac rebuspublicis serva, quibus maxime est opus te salvo.” Omni igitur molestia eius abitu levati, suspicari coepimus num hic ille esset philosophus, qui olim rhetoricam, physicam, geometriam atque omnes artes in tabulis descriptas, et tanquam coloribus expressas, se esse nobis daturum pollicitus est. Atque, “Tam verum est illum esse,” inquit Paulus Aemilius, “quam me vivere. Sed iam ad corpus curandum eamus, censeo.” Verum dum calceos induimus, dum caesariem pectimus, dum manus lavamus, ecce tibi venit ad nos quidam familiaris noster, qui magnam se Neptuno gratiam habere aiebat, quod salvum a se et incolumem amisisset. Ab ea enim insula se redire, in qua praetor ille, de quo supra commemoravimus, ob severitatem iudiciorum clarus ac nobilis ius dicebat. Etenim eo omnibus velis remisque contenderat, ut pecuniam, cuius iam dies advenerat, a potentiori debitore sibi numerandam exigeret. Nam statuerat, si eo praetore non exegisset, nunquam se eam esse visurum; neque sua spe fuisse deceptum, quod totum, quod debebatur, ne nummo quidem uno minus retulisset. Nos adeptam illi victoriam gratulamur atque amice admonemus ne posthac cuivis temere potentiori praesertim pecunias credat. “At non minore,” inquit, “erat opus auxilio. Etenim superbus ille non modo debitam mihi pecuniam se redditurum non esse iactabat, verum me etiam verbeream ex homine statuam 505 effecturum minitabatur. ‘At si pergis,’ inquit, ‘molestus esse, nunquam cuiquam largius praebita sunt publicitus ligna, ut tibi praeberi senties.’ Ego tamen, ab amicis sublevatus, me admodum animo non demitto, sed praetorem adeo, rem narro, tabulas profero, quibus iureiurando devincta debitoris mei sub testibus fides continebatur, contumacia eiusdem verba ac minas expono. Ille, ‘Bono sis animo,’ inquit. ‘Mox tibi damnatum cogam ingratiis quod debeat reddere.’ Simulque ad viatorem conversus, ‘I,’ inquit, ‘hominem conveni eique meis verbis nuntia ut tecum simul veniat ad me, nec in se quidquam sit morae. Ita mihi rem esse dicito.’ 506 505 Plaut. Pseud. IV.i.911: “Eccum video verbeream statuam”; and ibid. Capt. V.i.950-1: “ego ex hac statua verberea volo / erogitare.” 506 Plaut. Men. V.i.737: “ut veniat ad me: ita rem esse dicito” (some editions interpolate <sub>ita<m> instead of ita). 26 <?page no="450"?> Book Nine 451 us what your name is? ” - “My name is Suffenus.” 167 - “Farewell, Suffenus, and guard your great and praiseworthy head for the sake of those kings and states; they have the utmost need of your well-being.” After we had been freed from every annoyance by his departure, we began to question whether he was that philosopher who promised to present to us rhetoric, physics, geometry, and all the arts laid out on tablets and rendered as if in a painting. 168 Paulus Aemilius said, “It is as true that that was he, as it is that I live and breathe. But now, I think, we should go get ready.” But while we were putting on our shoes, combing our hair, and washing our hands, a certain acquaintance of ours came to our house, who told us he was extremely grateful to Neptune for releasing him safe and sound from his clutches. He was returning from the island where that praetor, whom we mentioned earlier, was famous and respected, on account of the severity of his judicial rulings and for the way he pronounced the law. Our acquaintance had traveled to that island with all deliberate speed in order to collect payment for a debt he was owed by a rather powerful debtor, because the payment had come due. He figured that he would never see his money again if he didn’t ask for it via the praetor; and he was not disappointed in this hope, because he was able to recoup everything he was owed, and not even one penny less. We congratulated him on the victory he achieved, and we gave him friendly advice not to lend money so carelessly to anyone ever again, especially to someone more powerful than he. He responded, “But I was in need of no small amount of help. In fact, that arrogant man not only boasted that he was not going to pay me back, but he also threatened to turn me into a whipping post. ‘If you insist on bothering me,’ he said, ‘no one will have ever received a more generous helping of cudgels, at public expense, than you will experience being doled out to you.’ With the support of my friends, however, I didn’t abandon my plan in the least, but I went to the praetor, told him what had happened, showed him the documents—in which the full faith and credit of my debtor was recorded and bound via an oath before witnesses—and I told him about his insolent words and threats. The judge said, ‘Don’t worry, I will soon compel that reprobate to appear against his will and pay back what he owes you.’ At the same time, he turned to the bailiff and said, ‘Go meet with that man and tell him that I said he should come before me, together with you, and that he should not delay even one bit; tell him that the matter is in my hands.’ 167 Suffenus is a poet whom Catullus makes fun of in Catull. 14 and more extensively in 22. See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 26. 168 Book Four (37). 26 <?page no="451"?> 452 Eudemia in Ten Books “Qui repente vocatus accurrit. Norat enim ingenium praetoris, qui suum imperium deseri abicique non patiebatur. Quem simul praetor ut vidit, continuo (credo ut rem mihi magis expeditam daret) tantundem pecuniae afferre eum iubet, quantum mihi debebatur. Ille, quo gratiam a praetore iniret (existimabat enim id mutuo a sese posci), domum avibus ac ventis citius advolat, pecuniam accipit, defert, delatam praetori adnumerat. Praetor a me illam auferri, et simul caveri iubet amplius eo nomine neminem, cuius petitio sit, petiturum. 507 Ille, cum iam paratus esset clamare, immo cum vim sibi fieri diceret atque homini, domi suae cum primis nobili, peregrinum, tenuem obscuroque loco natum anteponi, quem semper ipse contemserit, vix hominem duxerit, nec ipsum ad persequendum tam audacem ac tam vehementem fore existimaverit, ‘Tace, sis! ’ inquit praetor. ‘Ad eamne rem fumosas maiorum tuorum imagines 508 habes, ut per eas aequitatem communis iuris transeas, ut tenuiorum fortunas tuam esse praedam velis, ut bona sua repetentium, libera corpora 509 fustibus servorum more contundas? At bene tecum agitur, quod te, quantum potest, in remotissimas insulas deportari non iubeo. Verum unam hanc noxiam mitto. At si aliud unquam admiseris tale, de te mihi securi supplicium dabitur.’ Postremo aliis verborum contumeliis male acceptum a se demisit. Et sane violentus ille, qua est contumacia, quod verbis interminatus fuerat, re perfecisset, nisi Neptuno me credidissem atque eius beneficio celeriter essem in has oras advectus. Sed interim, cum apud praetorem exspecto, dum meus creditor veniat ac pecuniam afferat, unam atque alteram controversiam maxime perplexam et implicatam suo illo admirabili artificio diremit. “Aratorum apud eos homines numerus ordo est longe honestissimus, et quoniam reipublicae magno esse usui existimantur, plurimis honoribus ac praemiis afficitur; quorum illud est praecipuum, quod iis unus summo cum imperio ac potestate praeficitur, apud quem quod sibi quisque ab aratore deberi contendit, repetat lege atque iudicio, sive causae sint criminum sive in iure civili versentur. Neque huic, ut ceteris iudicibus sorte datis, certa lex praecipitur quam in iudi- 507 Cic. Brut. V.18: “At vero, inquam, tibi ego, Brute, non solvam, nisi prius a te cavero amplius eo nomine neminem, cuius petitio sit, petiturum.” 508 Cic. Pis. I.1: “Commendatione fumosarum imaginum.” 509 liberum corpus: the human body (i.e., person, individual) as a legal entity that has civil rights. 27 28 <?page no="452"?> Book Nine 453 “The man immediately hurried over when summoned. He was familiar with the praetor’s temperament, who didn’t tolerate his orders being ignored or disregarded. As soon as the praetor saw him, he immediately ordered him (I believe so I could more promptly obtain what was mine) to bring the precise amount of money he owed me. In order to enter into the praetor’s good graces—since he thought he was being ordered to provide a loan—he flies home faster than a bird or the wind, grabs the money, brings it back, and counts out what he had brought to the praetor. The praetor orders me to collect it, and at the same time he orders him to pledge that no one acting as his agent shall ever seek further payment. Just as that man was getting ready to protest, or rather, when he was about to claim that violence was being done to him, and that a poor foreigner, born in obscurity (whom he had always despised and barely considered human), was being favored over a man who held the highest rank among his own people—and that he himself would never have thought that the praetor would be so dogged and forceful in pursuing this matter—the praetor said, ‘Please be quiet! Are you holding up the soot-covered busts of your ancestors 169 in order, through them, to bypass the equity of the common law? To be willing to plunder the fortunes of those who are lesser than you? To beat, like slaves, those free persons who are merely trying to recoup what is theirs? You’ll be lucky if I don’t have you deported forthwith to the remotest islands. I will forgive you this one transgression, but if you ever do such a thing again, I will sentence you to death by the executioner’s axe.’ At last, with more verbal insults, the praetor sent this man away, who had been so poorly received. And this violent man, with his inflexible determination, would certainly have done in fact what he had threatened to do in words, had I not entrusted myself to Neptune and, thanks to him, been carried to these shores.” In the meantime, while I was waiting at the praetor’s chambers for my creditor to arrive and bring me my money, he settled one convoluted and involved dispute after another with that admirable skill of his. “This region boasts a large number of very respectable farmers; and, since they are thought to be of great benefit to the state, they are awarded many honors and prizes, of which the most significant is this, that one of them is elevated to the highest position of command and power over the rest. If anyone contends that he is owed anything by a farmer—whether his case is of a criminal or civil nature—this is the person he must come before to demand his due via the law and a judgment. But he is not instructed to follow established law in his ruling, like other judges are who are assigned by lot (as, for example, in the following 169 The busts are sooty because they were blackened by the fires that were lit to honor them. 27 28 <?page no="453"?> 454 Eudemia in Ten Books cando sequatur (verbi causa: ‘Si patet Lucium verberasse vel occidisse Titium, condemna eum’). Sed nulli formulae adstrictus est, quomodo apud vos senatus, quomodo princeps, quomodo olim populus, in cuius locum princeps successit. Itaque deprecationi est apud eum locus. Quod genus causae a iudiciis repelli debere plerisque videtur, ubi crimen non confessione, sed infitiatione repellitur. At potest apud eum sic agi, ut loquitur filius ad parentem, ‘Ignosce, iudex, erravi, lapsus sum, temere feci, poenitet, ad clementiam tuam confugio, delicti veniam peto, ut ignoscas oro; non peccabo posthac unquam.’ Quo fit ut, quemadmodum pro peccato magno filii paululum supplicii satis est patri, ita etiam capitali aratoris delicto, levis quaelibet poena iudici illi satis magna videatur. “Unus igitur ex hoc aratorum numero, nulla fere de causa, sutorem gladio transverberatum ad plures 510 transmiserat. Ne multa: eius nomen suum ad iudicem defertur. Ibi ille accusatur, testes in eum dantur; nec cum haberet quid responderet (res enim erat manifesta), nec erat locus infitiationi, fecisse eum videri pronuntiatur. Quid poenae constitutum in eum fuisse existimatis? Non aliud, nisi ut ne per annum araret. Erat ei quem occiderat frater, itidem sutor; huius ille sutrinam quotidie obambulare, praeter eius oculos ingredi, ludos eum facere ac verborum aculeis fodere. In tot ille iniuriis cum aliquandiu se forticulum praebuisset, demum victus a praetore quaesitum auxilium venit. Cui ille, ‘Quid tibi vis faciam? Nihil mihi iuris in eo est; eius ad iudicem ambula eoque tuas querimonias defer. Ille enim solus hominis insolentiam potest poena iudicioque constringere.’ - ‘Multum sane,’ inquit ille, ‘profecero, quin ultro irrisus abiero! ’ - ‘At tu,’ subdidit praetor, ‘nimis nihili homo es, cui nihil venit in mentem quo te hac molestia in perpetuum liberes.’ “Ille hac praetoris voce erectus confirmatusque, ‘Iam,’ inquit, ‘teneo quid agam, iam faciam ne impurus ille arator impune indignis me modis irriserit. 511 Nam si hodie, ut solet, ludificaverit, nunquam ad solis occasum vitam produxerit.’ Verum dum consilia eiusmodi sibi in animum advocat atque huic de homine interficiendo palmam dat, ecce qui Orco destinatus fuerat adest ac more suo cubito sutorem impellit, dictis exagitat, laedit, irridet. Ille, iam nihil verbis 510 plures: euphemistically, the dead; Plaut. Trin. II.ii.291: “quin prius me ad pluris penetravi? ” See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 30. 511 Ter. Eun. IV.iv.710: “etiamnunc non credis indignis nos irrisas modis? ” 29 30 <?page no="454"?> Book Nine 455 case: ‘If it is clear that Lucius beat or killed Titius, convict him’ 170 ). He is not constrained by a legal formula, as the senate or the prince is where you come from, or the people once were before the prince took their place. Before this man, therefore, there was the possibility of a pardon. As it seems to many, the sort of case that judges should decline to hear is when a charge is dismissed not by a confession but by a denial. But before this man it is possible to plead like a son pleads before his father, ‘Forgive me judge, I was wrong. I made a mistake. I acted rashly. I’m sorry. I throw myself on your mercy. I ask forgiveness for my crime. I beg you to pardon me. I won’t ever do it again.’ The result is that, just as a small punishment is sufficient for a father when his son commits a very serious crime, similarly any light punishment for a farmer’s capital offense seems to this judge to be a sufficiently harsh punishment. “One of those farmers, for practically no reason, stabbed a shoemaker with a sword and sent him off to the great beyond. To make a long story short, the farmer’s name was brought before this judge, where he was accused, and witnesses were produced to testify against him. Both because he had nothing to say (the matter was so evident), and because there was no room for denial, the judge ruled that he did appear to have done it. And what punishment do you think he was sentenced to? Only that he was not allowed to plow his land for a year. The man he killed had a brother, who was likewise a shoemaker. Every day the farmer would walk to the brother’s shop, enter right under his nose, make fun of him, and stab him with barbed words. Although the shoemaker had, for some time, put on a brave face in response to these insults, he was finally defeated and went to the praetor to ask for help. The praetor said to him, ‘What do you want me to do? This is not within my jurisdiction. Go before the judge who hears farmers’ cases and register your complaints with him. He is the only one who can rein in this man’s insolence via a penalty and a sentence.’ The brother responded, ‘That will accomplish nothing other than my going away a laughingstock! ’ The praetor replied, ‘You are too worthless a man if you can’t think of anything to free yourself forever of this annoyance.’ “Emboldened and encouraged by the praetor’s words, the shoemaker said, ‘I already have a plan; I will make it so that vile farmer no longer makes fun of me with impunity in this outrageous way. If he mocks me today, like he usually does, he won’t live past sundown.’ While he was turning over these ideas in his mind and settling on killing him as the winning plan, the man who was destined for Orcus arrived, and in his usual way he jabbed the shoemaker with his elbow, 170 This is an example of an ancient Roman legal formula, as outlined in the Institutes of Gaius (4.39-44), which are formal directions given to judges by the praetor. For more about legal formulas in Roman law, see Kocourek 1922: 434. 29 30 <?page no="455"?> 456 Eudemia in Ten Books esse locum existimans, secum, ‘Quid cesso,’ inquit, ‘quod cogitaveram aggredi strenueque perficere? ’ Eademque opera pugionem educens eius lateri totum capulotenus 512 infigit. “Fit continuo concursus hominum et clamor. Comprehenditur, vinctus ad praetoris tribunal adducitur. Praetor quid negotii sit quaerit. Accusatores, ‘Facinus indignum,’ clamant. ‘Hic scelerosus, impurus tantum animi habuit ad audaciam, ut aratorem unum e medio sustulerit, 513 hominem ita utilem reipublicae, atque manifesto in facinore deprehensus tuum in conspectum adducitur, ut, causa cognita, supplicium de eo quam acerbissimum sumas.’ Quaerit praetor ex eo num tanto se facinore obligasset. Qui audacter confidenterque adstans, ‘Non ita,’ inquit, ‘apud te, praetor, verba faciam, ut solitum est a reo ad iudicem agi, “Non feci, non cogitavi, falsi testes, fictum crimen.” 514 Immo, lapsus sum, feci, hominem occidi, atque eius morte maximas et innumerabiles iniurias ultus sum, quibus ab eo fueram lacessitus. Etenim non satis habuit fratrem mihi unicum atque carissimum ferro necare, sed totos etiam dies ante sutrinam meam obambulans, non cessabat modo sibi digna mihique indigna in me dicta congerere, modo genu vel cubito ictum me paene ad terram affigere, modo scurrilibus iocis ludos omnibus facere. Quibus contumeliis impulsus atque adeo ad eas ulciscendas attractus, et simul ut ostenderem me non feminam esse, sed marem, quando ille dedita opera malam rem quaereret, induxi animum eo illum infortunio mactare, quo fratrem meum affecerat.’ “Tum praetor se esse iratum simulans, ‘Itane,’ inquit, ‘pessime, legirupe, parricida, sacrilege, ausus es unum ex aratoribus vita devolvere? Iam te ulciscar probe; iam tibi condigne pro tuis meritis gratiam referam.’ Atque ab accusatoribus petiit quaenam exempla edita fuissent in eum aratorem, qui fratrem illius occidisset. ‘Nulla sane,’ inquiunt, ‘alia nisi quod iussus est per annum aratione desistere; quae poena apud nos maxima existimatur.’ - ‘Optime,’ ait praetor. Tum ad reum conversus, quaesivit ex eo quonam se artificio tueretur. Qui sutorem se esse respondit. ‘Sutor es? ’ inquit praetor. ‘Iamiam periisti! Eia igitur, quandoquidem arator, qui fratrem occidit tuum, magnae, singularis, ingentis poenae loco prohibitus est per annum arare, tibi quoque prohibeo ne annum integrum ad sutrinam accedas neque calceos cuiquam, quam velit sit nobilis 512 Cf. Verg. Aen. II.553: “lateri capulo tenus abdidit ensem.” 513 Cic. Verr. II.XXXV.81: “tantum animi habuit ad audaciam ut dicere in contione non dubitaret.” 514 Cic. Lig. X.30: “Ad parentem sic agi solet, ad iudices: ‘non fecit, non cogitavit; falsi testes, fictum crimen.’” 31 32 <?page no="456"?> Book Nine 457 harassed him with words, offended him, and laughed at him. The shoemaker, believing there was no longer any place for words, said to himself, ‘Why am I hesitating to go ahead with, and forcefully carry out, my plan? ’ At the same time, he drew a dagger and thrust it right up to the hilt into the farmer’s side. “People immediately rushed together and made a racket. The man was seized and brought to the praetor’s courtroom in chains. The praetor asked what the matter was. The plaintiffs cried, ‘What a shameful crime! This man is wicked and foul! His mind was so bent on insolence that he did a farmer in, a person so useful to the state. Apprehended for his manifest crime, we brought him before you so that, once you have studied the case, you can mete out the harshest punishment to him.’ The praetor asked him whether he was guilty of such a crime. The man stood boldly and confidently upright, saying, ‘Your honor, I will not speak to you in the usual way of a defendant before a judge, saying, “I didn’t do it! I didn’t plan it! The witnesses are lying! This is a trumped-up charge! ” On the contrary, I am in the wrong. I did it. I killed this man. And with his death I avenged the countless abuses he leveled at me. Not content with killing my only brother, who was so dear to me, with his sword, he would walk in front of my shop all day long and wouldn’t stop heaping up words against me that were fitting for him and shameful for me, at times jabbing me with his knee or his elbow, almost knocking me to the ground, or making fun of me with vulgar jokes. Provoked by these abuses, I was so bent on getting revenge for them (and at the same time prove that I’m a man not a woman) that when he intentionally came looking for trouble, I set my mind to destroying him with the same punishment that he had imposed on my brother.’ “Feigning anger, the praetor said, ‘You wicked man! You scofflaw! You murderer! You sacrilegious person! You dared take a farmer’s life? I will get revenge on you good and proper. I will thank you for your service as you deserve.’ He asked the plaintiffs what punishment had been imposed on the farmer who had killed the man’s brother. ‘Absolutely none,’ they said, ‘other than that he was ordered not to farm for a year. That is considered a great punishment for us farmers.’ - ‘Very good,’ said the praetor. Turning toward the defendant he asked what profession he supported himself with. The man responded that he was a shoemaker. ‘You are a shoemaker? ’ said the praetor. ‘You are already ruined! Well then, just as the farmer who killed your brother was prohibited from farming for a year, instead of receiving a great, significant, and enormous punishment, I, likewise, prohibit you from going to your shop for an entire year or making shoes for anyone, regardless of how noble or powerful they might be.’ When he had finished, he asked the plaintiffs whether he had made enough of an example of that wicked man, and whether his specific punishment was sufficient for them. Truly, with such a great punishment imposed, who would 31 32 <?page no="457"?> 458 Eudemia in Ten Books potensque, concinnes.’ His actis, quaesivit ab accusatoribus num satis exempli in illum improbum statutum esset, num ipsis hoc illius supplicio factum esset satis. Iam vero, quisnam erit posthac tam sceleratus, tam audax, qui tanta poena constituta, sustineat aratori manus afferre? Itaque sutor incolumis magna omnium cum voluptate dimittitur atque ex reis eximitur. Aratores non solum sibilis, sed etiam convicio exploduntur. “Vix illi e iure excesserant, cum mulier ingreditur vidua, lacera veste, scissis genis, solutis crinibus, querens, clamans, praetoris fidem implorans. Cui praetor, ‘Quid negotii est? ’ ait. ‘Quid affers? ’ - ‘Vim,’ inquit illa, ‘metum, contumeliam, curam, iurgium atque inopiam.’ - ‘Unde,’ ait praetor, ‘tantus hic tibi thesaurus mali advenit? ’ 515 ‘Ab homine,’ inquit illa, ‘fortunato ac nobili, qui, cum, me rei totius ignara, filiae meae virgini vitium obtulisset 516 atque a me esset in ipso paene flagitio deprehensus, ne clamores tollerem, ne cognatorum atque adeo popularium fidem implorarem, lacrimans, orans, obsecrans, induxit me ut sibi ignoscerem, quod persuasisset amor, saturitas, adolescentia, fidem dans, ubi eam vellem nuptum dare, ducentas se mihi minas numeraturum. Atque aliquot post dies, cum ego instarem atque urgerem, sua manu syngrapham scripsit. Ignotum est, tacitum est, creditum est. 517 Denique decrevi egomet quoque facere ne, si populus rescisceret, ad damnum etiam admigrarent infamiae. 518 “Sed dii, familiae nostrae omnino non irati, honestam filiae meae condicionem obtulerunt, adolescentem videlicet modicis quidem opibus, sed probum ac strenuum. Is venit ultro ad me rogans gnatam meam sibi uxorem ut darem. Placuit condicio, spopondi ac doti viginti illas minas dixi, quas iste ex syngrapha sua debebat. Venio ad eum; quid sit actum, enarro; ut pecuniae promissae faciat copiam, rogo, quo sponsa quamprimum in viri manum conveniat. Ille iratus negare quidquam a se mihi deberi, praeter malum magnum atque maturum. 519 Tum innumeras innocenti mihi dicere contumelias, deinde minitari, ni quantocius suo e conspectu properarem abire, se iam sementem mihi in ore facturum pugnosque consiturum. 520 Postremo addere, si pergerem molesta esse, se foedo 515 Plaut. Merc. I.ii.162-3: “Acan: vim, metum, cruciatum, curam, iurgiumque atque inopiam. Char: perii! tu quidem thesaurum huc mi apportavisti mali.” 516 Cf. Ter. Hec. III.iii.383: “nam vitiumst oblatum virgini olim a nescioquo improbo.” 517 Ter. Ad. III.iv.470-4: “persuasit nox, amor, vinum, adulescentia: humanumst. ubi scit factum, ad matrem virginis venit ipsus ultro lacrumans, orans, obsecrans, fidem dans, iurans se illam ducturum domum. ignotumst, tacitumst, creditumst.” 518 Plaut. Pers. III.i.347: “nam ad paupertatem si ammigrant infamiae.” 519 Fronto Ep. De Bello Parthico 5: “Amasis magnum et maturum malum Polycrati coniectans amicitiam hospitiumque renuntiat.” 520 Plaut. Men. V.vii.1012: “hisce ego iam sementem in ore faciam: pugnos[que] opseram.” See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 31. 33 34 <?page no="458"?> Book Nine 459 be so wicked and so bold after this as to endure laying hands on a farmer? Thus, to everyone’s great delight, the shoemaker was sent away unharmed, and was absolved. The farmers were driven away with hisses and an outcry. “They had barely left the courtroom when a widow entered with her clothing torn, her face scratched, her hair everywhere, complaining, crying, and asking for the praetor’s help. The praetor asked her, ‘What’s the problem? What happened? ’ The widow responded, ‘Violence, fear, abuse, trouble, strife, and poverty.’ - ‘What is the source of such a storehouse of misfortune? ’ asked the praetor. ‘A prosperous nobleman has violated my daughter, entirely without my knowledge. After I had discovered him in the act, he got me to forgive him by crying, begging, and pleading for me not to raise the alarm or ask my relatives and fellow citizens for help, because it was love, overindulgence, and youth that had made him do it. He promised that, if I agreed to let him marry her, he would pay me two hundred minae. After a few days, upon my insistence and urging, he wrote out a contract with his own hand. He was forgiven; the matter was never spoken of; and we trusted him. Finally, I decided to take action so that, if the matter ever became public, insult would not be added to injury. “‘But the gods proved not to be angry with our family at all, and they presented my daughter with an honorable marriage opportunity; that is to say, with a young man albeit of modest means, but upstanding and strong. He came to me of his own accord and asked for my daughter’s hand in marriage. I liked the terms, promised her to him, and pledged a dowry of twenty of those minae that the other man owed me from the contract he had signed. I went to that other man, explained to him what had transpired, and asked him to make good on the money he had promised, so the groom could take the bride’s hand as soon as possible. He angrily denied that he owed me anything, except for a great and swift punishment. He then heaped innumerable insults upon me, undeserving. He then threatened that, if I didn’t hurry up and get out of his sight immediately, he would plant his fists on my face. Lastly, he added that, if I continued to bother him, he would disfigure my face with a shameful mark. Trusting in your sense of justice, and in the contract that I considered sufficient as a guarantee for myself and my daughter, I gave no weight to his words and threats. I figured that the first thing I should do is hire a lawyer to bring an action on my behalf against that man who is disavowing his debt. And I contacted a lawyer who had once been a great friend and associate of my husband. 33 34 <?page no="459"?> 460 Eudemia in Ten Books mihi stigmate faciem deturpaturum. Ego eius verba ac minas nihil pendere freta aequitate tua ac syngrapha, qua satis mihi filiaeque meae cautum esse existimabam; ac nihil mihi prius faciendum duxi quam ut cognitorem aliquem pararem, qui infitiatori illi meo nomine litem intenderet. Atque eum invenio quicum olim magnus viro meo usus consuetudoque intercesserat. “‘Syngrapham ostendo, qua ille perlecta, “Nisi,” inquit, “aliunde argentum depromas quod filiae tuae des, prorsus ex hac syngrapha ne nummum quidem unum potes abradere. Tota enim est nugatorie scripta. Nam ad id quod promittit, ‘testes’ suos coleos adhibet.” Quo audito, tum ego lacrimis ac voci non parcere, queri ac lamentari fortunas meas, caelum atque astra crudelia dicere, ac cogitare quo potissimum mortis genere mihi lethum consciscerem. Cognitor, ut me desperatione exanimatam videt, misericordia commotus conatur iacentem meum animum erigere et in spem cogitationemque meliorem inducere. Et simul est auctor, ut homini dicam impingam. 521 Saepe enim fieri ut res dubias, egenas atque inopes consilii deus aliquis vel casus certas atque opiparas reddat. Pareo, atque dies est hodie, quo die sortiri dicam ex lege debeas.’ “Praetor sane commotus, ‘Nihil sortitione opus est,’ inquit. ‘Ipse mihi causae istius cognitionem attribuo.’ Ac circumspiciens videt nugatorem illum in turba. Vocat ac prehendit hominem solum; interrogat num quid cuiquam promiserit. Negat. Tum praetor iubet syngrapham inspicere ac, ‘Cognoscis,’ inquit, ‘manum tuam? ’ Ille non est ausus infitiari, atque ait, ‘Agnosco.’ - ‘Quo igitur ore,’ subdit praetor, ‘negabas te quidquam cuipiam esse pollicitum? ’ Atque ut eius tentaret sententiam, ‘Quid tibi animi est? ’ inquit. ‘Visne promissa persolvere, an non? ’ - ‘Mihi quidem,’ ille, ‘certum est,’ ait, ‘nihil dare. Insanit profecto mulier, si credit ex hac syngrapha se posse uno saltem nummo locupletiorem evadere.’ - ‘Tu igitur, me vivo,’ praetor ait, ‘quod est a te promissum, non reddas? ’ - ‘Minime,’ ait. ‘Non enim aequum est quod per iocum est actum, velle in serium convertere.’ - ‘Itane, pessime, in re seria iocatus es? Tibi non creditur. Hoc de testibus exquiratur oportet.’ Atque, ‘Heusdum lictor,’ inquit, ‘sublimem hunc quantum potest in carcerem rape. Ibi quaestio de testibus habeatur, hoc nimirum modo, ut colei, fune perquam arcte devincti, in sublime trahantur. Certum est enim experiri num possim ex eis verum exsculpere, utrum videlicet res acta sit ioco vel serio. At scin? Tantisper pensiles maneant, quoad quantum puellae quam vitiavit deberi iudicatum fuerit, tantum exsolvat. Magis enim e re sua esset, si rem hanc sine testibus egisset. Nam testibus corporis pondere avulsis ac futuris pro uva pensilibus, intestabilis in perpetuum vivet.’ Ubi ille miser quae futura 521 Ter. Phorm. II.iii.438: “dicam tibi impingam grandem.” 35 36 <?page no="460"?> Book Nine 461 “‘When he read the contract I showed him, he said, “Unless you can come up with money from another source that you can give your daughter as a dowry, you won’t be able to eke out even one penny from this contract. The entire thing as written is nonsense—he presents his testicles as testes to his promise! ” 171 When I heard this, I didn’t hold back my tears or cries; I complained and lamented my misfortune; I implored heaven and the cruel stars; and I thought about what the best form of death would be to end my own life. When my lawyer saw that I was crushed by despair, he was moved to pity, and he tried to lift up my inconsolable spirit and guide me toward hope and a better state of mind. At the same time, he proposed bringing a lawsuit against that man, because it often happens that some god or chance turns matters that are uncertain, hopeless, and devoid of a plan into certain and fruitful ones. I agreed, and today is the day when you must by law select judges to hear the suit.’ “Greatly moved, the praetor said, ‘There is no need to select judges. I will assign to myself the inquiry into this case.’ Looking around, he sees that joker in the crowd. He calls him, gets him alone, and asks if he has made anyone any promises. He denies it. Then the praetor orders him to take a look at the contract and says, ‘Do you recognize your handwriting? ’ The man didn’t dare deny it and said, ‘Yes, I recognize it.’ The praetor responded, ‘What sort of impudence compels you to deny that you promised someone something? ’ In order to feel out the man’s intentions, he said, ‘Do you want to pay what you owe, or not? ’ The man replied, ‘I will give her nothing, I’m sure of it. That woman is completely mad if she thinks she can enrich herself by even one penny from this contract.’ - ‘So, while I am alive,’ said the praetor, ‘you won’t hand over what you promised? ’ - ‘No,’ he said; ‘and it’s not even fair to take seriously what I did as a joke.’ - ‘Wicked man, you joked about such a serious matter? Your testimony is not credible. We must question your testes.’ He then said, ‘Hey, lictor, take this arrogant man off to jail as quickly as possible, where there will be an inquiry regarding his testes in such a way that, of course, they will be tied up as tightly as possible with string and lifted up into the air. I will surely find out whether I can wring the truth out of them as to whether this transaction was carried out as a joke or seriously. And you know what? They will remain 171 The joke is based on the double entendre of the Latin word testis meaning both witness and testicle. 35 36 <?page no="461"?> 462 Eudemia in Ten Books in ipsum essent exempla percepit, multis cum lacrimis ac miserabili oratione orare, obsecrare, obtestari praetorem coepit ut mitius cum ipso ageret nec tantam in se vim mali pateretur irruere, sed aliam illi multam irrogaret ac pecuniae quantum vellet imperaret. Se enim esse paratum in praesentia, quidquid iussum esset exsolvere. “Ipsa etiam vidua, prout animi mulierum proni sunt ad misericordiam, orabat ne tantopere saeviret; sibi satis poenarum esse, si solvat in eo quod promiserat fidem. Praetor, simulans se iracundiae suae conatum mulieris deprecatione sedasse 522 : ‘Magnam,’ inquit, ‘viduae isti gratiam habeas; nam absque ea si fores, paratam tibi pestem non effugisses, sed iam coleis alligatus per corpus penderes. Ac ne existimes te tantum hoc flagitium impune ablaturum, utrum vis elige: aut huius filiam tecum matrimonio iunge, vel talentum eidem magnum dotis nomine numera.’ Adolescens, cum rem sibi melius cecidisse quam ratus erat, existimaret atque ab uxore ducenda abhorreret, talento cum praetore decidit; quod a trapezitis faenori sumptum (non enim tum illi pecunia numerata, sed tantum in nominibus erat) mulieri sine ulla dubitatione persolvit. Atque eodem paene tempore pecuniae, ab adversario meo mihi debitae, adferuntur. Quibus acceptis, et ingentibus praetori gratiis actis, conieci me protinus in pedes, 523 conscensoque navigio, omnibus diis, ventis et hominibus operam dantibus, huc sum devectus.” - “Praetorem,” inquit Paulus Aemilius, “elegantem narras. Profecto si sic essent praetores omnes, non tot locis, ut nunc est, fides esset angustior 524 ; et creditae pecuniae, si non amore virtutis, saltem poenae metu solverentur.” His dictis, simul una omnes imus in forum, sed alius alia de re; nos animi tantum causa, ut amicos conveniremus ac de iis quidnam esset novi sciscitaremur. Ac primo iuvenem aspicimus, quem multi ambiunt, circumstant, advenisse gaudent. Nos quoque accedimus ac de fortunato homine ac nobili, Megalobulo nomine, aratorum locupletissimo, sermonem haberi comperimus; cui ille navav- 522 Cic. Brut. X.42: “populi ingrati pulsus iniuria se ad hostes contulit conatumque iracundiae suae morte sedavit.” 523 Ter. Phorm. I.iv.190: “hinc me conicerem protinam / in pedes.” 524 fides: credit (in a financial context); Caes. BCiv. III.1: “cum fides tota Italia esset angustior.” 37 38 <?page no="462"?> Book Nine 463 hanging there until he pays back as much as I judge is owed to the girl whom he defiled. It would have served him better to have conducted this transaction without witnesses. If his testes get torn off under his body weight and hang there from now on like grapes, he will live forever “intestate.”’ When that poor man realized what punishments lay in store for him, he began, with tears and a pitiful prayer, to beg, plead, and implore the praetor to go easy on him and not allow such a misfortune to befall him, but to inflict a different punishment on him and demand as much money as he wanted. He said he was prepared, right then and there, to pay up what was mandated. “As for the widow herself, since women’s minds are prone to mercy, she asked the praetor not to be so angry; that for her it would be sufficient punishment if the man made good on what he had promised. The praetor, pretending that it was the woman’s prayers that had calmed his tendency toward anger, said, ‘You should thank this widow profusely. If it weren’t for her, you would not have escaped the ruin that was in store for you, but your balls would already be strung up, and your body would be hanging from them. And, just so you don’t think you’ll be getting away with this crime unpunished, choose one or the other: either marry the widow’s daughter or pay her a large sum of money as a security for her dowry.’ The young man, reckoning that the matter had turned out better for him than he had thought it would and, being averse to the idea of taking a wife, settled with the praetor for a sum of money that he had borrowed at interest from a banker (the money had not been given to him but was just on loan), and he paid the widow without the slightest hesitation. At almost the same moment, my adversary brought me the money he owed me. After I had heard all this and had thanked the judge profusely, I ran away, boarded a ship, and traveled here thanks to the efforts of all of the gods, winds, and men.” - “That is a fine praetor you have told us about,” said Paulus Aemilius. “If all praetors were like that, credit would not be tight in so many places, as it currently is; and more money that has been borrowed would be repaid, if not out of love of virtue then at least out of fear of punishment.” When we had finished talking, we all headed to the forum together, but each for a different reason. As for us, we were going just for fun, in order to meet up with friends and to ask if anything was new with them. The first person we saw was a young man, whom everyone was flocking toward, encircling, and rejoicing at his arrival. We approached as well and found him discussing a fortunate nobleman named Megalobulus, the richest of the farmers, whom he had diligently served. Everyone was asking if Megalobulus was well, how he was doing, and why he (the young man) had decided to leave the service of someone who held him in such esteem and goodwill. “May all the gods and goddesses destroy him, that braggart, that rascal, that ingrate! By God, words can’t truly express 37 38 <?page no="463"?> 464 Eudemia in Ten Books erat operam diligenter. Quaerebant enim, ut valeret, quid rerum ageret, cur ipse ab eo discedere constituisset, apud quem tanto esset in honore et gratia. “Ut omnes,” inquit, “illum dii deaeque perdant iactatorem, nebulonem, ingratum! Non hercle verbis dici potest tantum quantum revera meam illi operam, diligentiam, industriam, studium suis in rebus omnibus praestiti. Ut malus mihi verba dedit! Ut me vana spes ductum illusit! Etenim non semel, sed millies, cum mihi gratias ageret, cum me ne quiescerem, neve defatigarer oraret, locutus est ita, ‘Eia age, impiger, strenue, iam prope est ut egregio ac singulari aliquo munere amori fideique tuae gratiam referam. Iam ostendam qui vir sim; iam tibi perspectum erit quantum meritis tuis tribuam. Verum die quodam, cum preciosum illi munus attulissem (quod sperarem saltem fertiles eum agros imitaturum, qui multo plus reddunt quam acceperunt 525 ), ille, quasi se meorum in se beneficiorum mole premi opprimique sentiret, quasi desiderium referendae mihi gratiae diutius ferre non posset, ad armarium accurrit atque inde veterem, cariosum ac putridum mustaceum 526 extrahens, ingentis cuiusdam muneris loco mihi detulit ac, ‘Vide,’ inquit, ‘si promissi mei sim memor, si facta dictis respondeant. Mori malim quam desiderari a te fidem meam. Cape hunc igitur et quotidie mane, dum surgis, frustulum eius sume, ac mei memor vive.’ Nec mora; sese e conspectu proripuit, modestiae scilicet causa, et quo pudori suo consuleret. Non enim potuisset non erubescere, cum me pro tanto munere ingentes, immortales sibi gratias agentem audisset.” Tum omnes, “O liberalem hominem,” exclamant. “O magnanimum! O munus egregium ac principe viro dignum! Fuit illud quidem levidense (ut dicitur) et crasso filo.” 527 Interea rumor tota urbe percrebuit Icosippum a prandio orationem esse habiturum, commotum (ut aiebant) tetricorum quorundam simulata atque ridicula religione, qui, cum ipsi sint flagitiis omnibus cooperti, offensi erant in eo quod in quodam opere, quod ediderat, flagitiosi cuiusdam hominis factum sane ridiculum lepida atque iucunda narratione exposuisset, vel potius ante oculos posuisset. Itaque dicebatur iocis facetiisque magis quam aliqua maiore vi eos male verberaturus. Nos eius audiendi in primis cupidi, rogamus ubinam haec esset habenda oratio. Respondent, “In theatro; sed illuc mature accedatis oportet, si est in animo sedere nec placet omnia obsessa invenire. Nam huic oratori contingit ut, cum auditum sit eum esse dicturum, concursus audiendi causa tota urbe fiant, loci in ordinibus occupentur, compleatur theatrum.” 525 Cic. Off. I.XV.48: “An imitari agros fertiles, qui multo plus efferunt, quam acceperunt? ” 526 Cato (Agr. CXXI) provides a recipe for must cake. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 1) refers the reader to Mart. XIII.120, which refers to musta Falerna. 527 Cic. Fam. 263 (IX.12) 2: “sed ego hospiti veteri et amico munusculum mittere volui, levidense crasso filo, cuius modi ipsius solent esse munera.” See also Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 2. 39 <?page no="464"?> Book Nine 465 how much effort, care, hard work, and exertion I put into all of his endeavors. How that evil man deceived me! How led on I was by vain hope! When he thanked me or begged me—and not just once but a thousand times—not to rest or get discouraged, he spoke to me like this, ‘Come on, work hard, keep going! It’s about time I recognize your love and loyalty with an outstanding and singular gift. I will show you at last what sort of man I am, and you will see how much I appreciate your services.’ But one day, when I was rendering a valuable service to him (because I was hoping that, at the very least, he would be like a fertile field that gives back more than it takes), as if he felt he were being burdened and oppressed by the weight of my kindnesses toward him and could no longer bear his desire to show his gratitude toward me, he ran to his cupboard, pulled out an old, moldy, rancid must cake and handed it to me, in lieu of a large gift, and said, ‘See for yourself whether or not I keep my promises and whether my actions correspond to my words. I would rather die than not uphold my promise to you. Take this, and every morning when you get up, eat a little slice of it and always think of me.’ Without delay, he hurried out of sight, both out of a sense of modesty, of course, and because he was mindful of his good manners. After all, he could not have avoided blushing when he heard me expressing my enormous, eternal gratitude for such a gift.” Then everyone exclaimed, “O generous and magnanimous man! What an outstanding gift, worthy of a distinguished man! It was meager, so to speak, and coarsely textured.” In the meantime, a rumor was spreading throughout the city that Icosippus was going to give a speech after lunch. They were saying he had been shaken by the false and ridiculous morality of a few scolds, who, although they themselves were involved in all sorts of scandals, were offended because, in some book or other he had published, 172 Icosippus had exposed, in a clever and witty manner, a patently ridiculous act of a certain man; or rather, he had placed it in full view of everyone. They said that he intended to thrash people more soundly with his jokes and humor than with some greater force. Especially eager to hear him, we asked where his speech was going to take place. “In the theater,” they responded. “You had better head over there early if you plan on getting a seat, and if you don’t like finding all the seats taken. With this particular orator it happens that, when people hear that he is going to speak, everyone in the whole city rushes to hear him, all of the seats get taken, and the theater fills up.” 172 A reference to the 1637 Eudemiae libri VIII. See also Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 4. 39 <?page no="465"?> 466 Eudemia in Ten Books Nos gratias agimus et postquam otiose res novas perquirendo sermonibus multorum operam dando, voluptatis abunde percepimus, cuius causa in forum processeramus, cumque iam meridies videretur accedere, nos domum inde recipimus et Gallonium invenimus, qui arcubus et sagittis, quae domino suo coemerat, aliisque rebus convasatis, profectionem in posterum diem ornabat. Itaque, quo attemperate ad Icosippum audiendum veniremus, iubemus lectos statui, sterni, cibis instrui, aquam manibus dari. Itaque nos lectis commendamus, accumbimus, prandemus. Cum autem a prandio satis quievisse visi sumus, surgimus ac rogamus Gallonium, ut quod commodo suo fiat, ne gravetur nobiscum ad theatrum accedere. Cumque ille se non nolle dixisset, eo comitati multo illuc maturius quam fuerat necesse venimus; nam vix pauci sessum accesserant. Itaque iam nos coeperat celeritatis nostrae poenitere. Quid enim ibi tam diu otiosi sederemus? Num ut somno, qui iam sensim obrepebat, indulgeremus? At id non erat neque salutare neque honestum. At Gallonius, quo nos ab eodem vindicaret, coepit variis ac iucundis sermonibus oblectare; et in primis solemnem illam ludorum celebritatem in caelum efferre, qua tota illa civitas ob regem Nicephorum interfectum exultabat atque, “Ex omnibus,” inquit, “ludis, quibus interfui, placuit mihi vehementer lepidum poëtae cuiusdam commentum, qui, ut regem sacrorum Humanum (id est illi nomen) atque apes, familiae eius insigne, laudaret, induxit in scaenam Aristaeum; qui (ut est apud Virgilium) devinctum catenis Proteum adducebat, ut causam ex eo apum defunctorum exprimeret. Atque inde occasione accepta, fecit ut Proteus multa de Humano, multa de Mellito, fratris eiusdem filio, multa de agro Sabello, in quo praedia atque oppida sane non pauca possidet, multa de futura apum gloria fausto vaticinio divinitus caneret. Hanc eandem fabulam idem poëta, qui in actus deduxerat, in breve carmen heroicis versibus comprehensum transtulit (cuius exemplum apud me residet), prolatumque mihi legendum ac describendum tradidit.” Sed eius legendi partes eidemmet Gallonio, qui illud saepius percucurrerat, in praesentia tradidimus; qui clara atque suavi voce sic orsus est legere: 40 41 <?page no="466"?> Book Nine 467 We thanked them and, after deriving a great deal of pleasure from leisurely inquiring about the news and giving our attention to many people’s conversations (which was the reason we had come to the forum), we headed home when we saw that it was approaching midday. We found Gallonius there packing up the bows and arrows he had purchased for his master, along with some other things, and preparing for his departure the following day. So that we would arrive in time to hear Icosippus, we ordered dining couches be set up, covered, and supplied with food, and we called for water to wash our hands. We sit on the couches, recline, and eat lunch. When we feel we had relaxed enough after lunch, we get up, and we ask Gallonius to go with us to the theater, as long as it is convenient for him and isn’t a burden. Since he didn’t express any unwillingness, we went with him and arrived there much earlier than was necessary, since hardly anyone had arrived to take their seats. We already began to regret our hurry. Why sit there for so long with nothing to do? Would we succumb to sleep that was already creeping up on us? But that would be neither healthy nor respectable. To save us from sleepiness, Gallonius began entertaining us by speaking on various delightful topics. In particular, he praised to the skies those solemn games that his entire city celebrated on account of King Nicephorus being killed. “Out of all of the celebrations I attended, I very much enjoyed the delightful composition of a certain poet. In order to praise the rex sacrorum Humanus (that was his name), as well as the bees that are his family’s crest, 173 he brought Aristaeus 174 onto the stage. Just as it is in Virgil, Aristaeus led Proteus out in chains in order to force out of him the reason for his bees’ death. Seizing the opportunity, Aristaeus had Proteus admirably recite, in an auspicious prophecy, many things about Humanus, about Humanus’s brother Mellitus, about the Sabine Hills 175 where Humanus owns many estates and villages, and about 173 Bees are the symbol on the Barberini family crest. See also Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 5. 174 The story of Aristaeus and Proteus is told in the fourth book of Virgil’s Georgics beginning at line 315. See also Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 6. 175 In antiquity, the Sabine Hills, or Sabina, referred to the region in central Italy bordered by Latium, Picenum, Umbria, and Etruria. In Rossi’s time, Sabina comprised a territory northeast of Rome in the regions of Lazio, Umbria, and Abruzzo. The Barberini family had various estates in this region, including in Palestrina and Monte Libretti. Carlo Barberini, Urban VIII’s brother, initiated the purchase of Palestrina from the Orsini family in 1627, passing it to Taddeo Barberini in 1630 (Castiglione 2005: 24). The Barberini family also purchased the Sabina territory of Monte Libretti from the Orsini in the last year of Urban VIII’s papacy. The Barberini, originally a Florentine family of middling nobility and relatively new to Rome, rose quickly to power but were still in competition with established Roman noble families like the Farnese, Colonna, and Orsini. By purchasing property from families of more long-standing nobility, some of whom at that time were in financial straits, the Barberini consolidated their power even after Urban VIII’s death 40 41 <?page no="467"?> 468 Eudemia in Ten Books “Stringebat validis religatum Protea nodis pastor Aristaeus, matris praecepta secutus, dulcibus, heu, apibus morboque fameque solutis, sciret uti, cuius premeretur numinis ira, vel quis apes celeri raperet, sua munera, morte. 5 Namque illum voluit Neptunus singula vatem nosse, nihilque catum, quod sit fueritque, latere, quidve ferat properans venturi temporis aetas. At Proteus, nequidquam expertus caetera, tandem multa fremens iris, tumido sic litigat ore 528 : 10 ‘Quae te agitant Furiae? Vel quis deus, improbe, nostros iussit adire focos, artusque onerare catenis? Dic, tibi quid nostris debetur sedibus, hospes, aut hostis potius, nectis qui vincula capto? Dic, age, et innocuum laqueis simul exue collum.’ 15 ‘Ut tibi nempe loquar, quid vestris me applicet oris,’ inquit Aristaeus, ‘vinclis ut membra resolvam? Deciperis, non praecepit mihi talia mater. Desine velle; tuus labor est mihi dicere; tu scis, tu scis, O Proteu, scopulos quid iussit ad istos 20 tendere me, lapsis quaesitum oracula rebus.’ At tum Carpathius, Neptuni munere vates, sic ait, irarum fluctus sub pectore condens: ‘Vera quidem narras, non est me fallere cuiquam. Tristis apum iactura acri cor incoquit igni; 25 528 Hor. Ars P. 94: “iratusque Chremes tumido delitigat ore.” 42 <?page no="468"?> Book Nine 469 the bees’ future glory. That same poet, who adapted that story for the stage, transformed it into a short poem in heroic meter 176 (I have an exemplar of it at home), which he gave to me to read and transcribe.” For the moment we gave this same Gallonius the task of reading it, since he had often read through it; and he proceeded to read the verses out loud in a clear, sweet voice: “Alas! Having lost his sweet bees to disease and starvation, the shepherd Aristaeus, following his mother’s orders, was holding Proteus, tied up with secure knots, in order to find out which god’s wrath was oppressing him, or who was destroying his bees— his livelihood—with a swift death. Neptune wanted Proteus the seer to know every detail and wanted nothing that is, was, or what the rushing years of future time will bring to escape the notice of the artful prophet. After he had tried everything else in vain, Proteus finally raged greatly in anger and fought with an arrogant tone: ‘Which Furies have whipped you up? Wicked man, which god ordered you to come into my home and weigh down my body with chains? What does our home owe you, guest— or enemy, rather—you who tie your prisoner up in chains? Go ahead, tell me, and, at the same time, remove these fetters from my innocent neck.’ Aristeus said, ‘You want me to tell you the truth about what brings me to your shores, so I can free your limbs from these bonds? You are deceived; that is not what my mother ordered. Stop wishing for that. Your task is to tell me everything. You know, Proteus; you know why I was ordered to travel to your cliffs to seek an oracular response to my collapsed affairs.’ Then the Carpathian, 177 a seer by the gift of Neptune, spoke, concealing the waves of anger in his breast: ‘You speak the truth. It is not in me to deceive anyone. This sad loss of your bees roils your heart with a bitter fire; these bees, which the ire of an offended god and the grief over deceased Eurydice have taken from you. Pitiable Orpheus has mitigated the poor girl’s death with this calamity. In order to keep her love untouched for a stable marriage, she died while running swiftly to escape your attempt on her, bitten on her ankle by a serpent’s tooth. The maiden has just entered the depths of Styx.’ While the blue-hued seer unfolded these things in detail, Aristaeus gently moistened his unsettled face with tears and said, ‘I saw and remember. Nobody has perished more mourned than she was by me. But why is the unhappy Bee being summoned for this crime? Why is the innocent being punished? ’ - ‘I will tell you now,’ said Proteus, who metes out the vast ocean to fish, ‘and I will untangle your in 1644 (ibid.: 21-4, 30-1). For more about Barberini properties in Sabina, see also “The Business Papers of a Great Roman Family,” Bulletin of the Business Historical Society 3, no. 5 (1929): 1-10. 176 Dactylic hexameter. 177 In the Georgics, Virgil describes Proteus as dwelling near Karpathos, an island between Crete and Rhodes. Virgil’s description of Proteus in G. IV.387-9 is the reference for the following few lines of Rossi’s poem: “Est in Carpathio Neptuni gurgite vates, / caeruleus Proteus, magnum qui piscibus aequor / et iuncto bipedum curru metitur equorum.” 42 <?page no="469"?> 470 Eudemia in Ten Books quas tibi praeripiunt offensi numinis irae et dolor extinctae Eurydices. Miserabilis Orpheus cladibus his lenit miserandae fata puellae, quae tua praeteriens volucri conamina cursu, connubio intactum stabili quo servet amorem, 30 occidit, in talum serpentis dente recepto, et nova sub Stygios penetravit nympha recessus.’ 529 Talia caeruleus dum vates ordine pandit, sparsit Aristaeus leviter vaga fletibus ora: ‘Et vidi et memini, dixit, nec concidit ulli 35 quam mihi flebilior. Sed cur nunc sola vocatur infelix in crimen Apis? Cur plectitur insons? ’ ‘Mox,’ ait, ‘expediam,’ vastum qui piscibus aequor metitur Proteus, ‘dictisque petita resolvam. Sentit Apis funesta tuae contagia culpae, 40 quod tibi sit nimium cordi, quod summa voluptas, quodque tuae culmen supremaque praemia laudis. Sed lacrimis, sed parce metu, desiste querelis; non erit, ut semper fatis agitetur iniquis. Aetas praepetibus properat felicior alis, 45 qua modo quae genus ingemuit sobolemque ruentem, regnet Apis veneranda, ipsis seque inserat astris, tergemina fulgens radianti fronte corona. Hac rerum domina inter cuncta superbiet orbis oppida cultus ager, dulcis sua cura, Sabellus. 50 Nam simul ac rutilas auro radiisque superbas felici regione volans expanderit alas, continuo viridi viduatae gramine valles, pingentur vario, bruma fugiente, colore, 529 Claudian Rape of Proserpine I.I (XXXIII) 119-20: “quae tale sequatur / coniugium Stygiosque velit pro sole recessus.” <?page no="470"?> Book Nine 471 inquiries with my words. The Bee felt the deadly contagion of your sin because it is excessively dear to you, your greatest joy, the pinnacle and prize of your praise. But refrain from your tears and your fear; cease your complaints. In the end, the Bee will not be wracked by an evil fate forever. A happier time is hastening here on nimble wings; a time when the venerable Bee—who just now was lamenting its tribe and its doomed offspring—will reign and will place itself among the stars, its gleaming face shining with a three-fold crown. With the Bee as master of everything, the farmed Sabine field, the Bee’s sweet concern, will outshine the rest of the world. For as soon as the Bee spreads its wings, reddish and proud with golden rays, and flies over this happy land, the vales, barren of green grass, will straightaway be painted with various colors, and the cold will flee. The lofty elms, having shaken off their leaves, will transform into a beautiful appearance and send forth their sap. At that time, on the banks among the golden and green pebbles, snow-white swans will swim with their voices in rhythm. The stars will shine with new light in their heavenly fields.’ Aristaeus interrupts, ‘If Pomona shows her gentle eyes to you and never gazes upon you sadly, tell me, as the years glide silently through the heavens, when will such a great gift from the eternal stars reach us? So that you might be more amenable to disclosing the rushing fates, behold, I am loosening the strong bonds with which I have constrained you. Now, charming Proteus, truthfully reveal your heart to me. Come now, why are you keeping my eager mind from its happiness? ’ After he saw the bonds removed from his proud neck and feet, with a calm face the Neptunian seer said, ‘O most confident youth, although at present you do not deserve my voice paying you any heed, still I will speak, so that this hidden joy, which is striving to break through the boundaries of my small heart, may pour forth freely into the common air. When the time comes for the royal City, shining its rays over the wide lands, to receive Humanus onto its throne, to command him to give laws to the people, and to bring back Saturn’s rule to the peaceful populace—that Humanus, I say, under whose protection the world smiles, and who bears on his royal brow the green laurel wreath 178 along with the three-fold crown of gold and gems—at that time it will come about that the golden Bee will traverse the whole world and will spread its gleaming wings through the liquid air. Tireless, the Bee will not only gather thyme, clover, and green cinnamon throughout the flower-bearing pastures and pleasant willow groves, but approaching, with bold spirit, the lofty fields of the heavens, fragrant with their starry flowers, it will return from there with its breast filled with divine nectar. If Mellitus, the son of Humanus’s brother, deigns to approach the cities, called Sabine by their ancient name— whose people he will not hesitate to govern with the laws of love, 179 wheresoever he turns his wandering glance, his two eyes—he will immediately warm them and drive 178 Urban VIII was a celebrated poet. 179 Francesco Barberini was made Cardinal Bishop of Sabina in 1645. <?page no="471"?> 472 Eudemia in Ten Books aeriaeque suis excussae frondibus ulmi 55 se in nitidas vertent facies ac mella remittent. Tum ripis, fulvos inter viridesque lapillos, 530 adnabunt nivei numeroso gutture cycni. 531 Luce nova aetheriis fulgebunt sidera campis.’ ‘Si Pomona tibi mites ostendat ocellos,’ 60 subdit Aristaeus, ‘nec tristes explicet unquam, dic, quando, tacitis caelo labentibus annis, aeternis tantum continget munus ab astris? Quoque magis libeat properantia promere fata, en tibi quae strinxi fortissima vincula solvo. 65 Exple animum verax mihi nunc, lepidissime Proteu. Eia age, quid differs cupidae sua gaudia menti? ’ Vincula sed postquam collo pedibusque superbis demta videt, placido vates Neptunius ore sic ait: ‘O iuvenum confidentissime, quamquam 70 non ita sis meritus de me, ut tibi debita morem nunc mea vox gerat, at dicam, quo clausa voluptas, pectoris exigui quae frangere limina gestit, libera communes abiens se fundat in auras. 532 Tempore quo fulgens latis Urbs regia terris 75 excipiet solio Humanum, populisque iubebit iura dare et placidis Saturnia regna referre, ille, inquam, Humanus, quo sospite rideat orbis, inter qui triplicem ex auro gemmisque coronam vincta geret viridi regalia tempora lauro, 80 fiet ut emensis totis Apis aurea terris 530 Hor. Sat. I.II.80: “nec magis huic inter niveos viridisque lapillos.” 531 Angelo Poliziano, Nutricia (Sylvae) 198: “multisoni celebrant numeroso gutture cycni.” 532 Ov. Met. VII.126-7: “perque suos intus numeros conponitur infans / nec nisi maturus communes exit in auras.” <?page no="472"?> Book Nine 473 away chilly vapors, even if their barren fields are frozen with silvery frost. This native land will bring forth various colors, lilies, narcissus, violets, and white privet, and in it you will see the grand reflection of the noble Humanus.’ While Proteus was pouring forth such words from his eloquent mouth, Aristaeus soothed the sadness of his cares and the bitter loathing of his wasted life with this sweet talk. Wiping away the marks of his mournful spirit from his pleasant brow, he said, ‘O Proteus, how my cares have fled from my heart! How great joy has returned to my glad soul! Do go on, and quickly reveal the secrets of the fates.’ Proteus began: ‘If the influence of this most beautiful light, which has not yet come into being for you, calms the cares and storms of your spirit, what shadows of your mind will the illumination, which is soon to come, cast out when it pours forth gleaming rays and shines from its broad orb! What clouds will it dispel! How many thunderbolts of love will it cast from its radiant face! Apollo, accompanied by the choir of Muses, is already arranging his learned poems and is already preparing to leave his happy Aonian pastures, springs, and chilly Tempe 180 and hasten with swift steps wherever tilled land, mountain ridges, valleys, cultivated fields, and the Sabine region summon him. What dances the rustic Hamadryads and the woodland Napaeae, ideal for secret encounters, will begin celebrating in a circle and setting happy dances in motion, with their hair extending down past their white necks, either where the black-needled pine with its hairy top, or the Delphic laurel, or the leafy myrtle weave dense shade with branches converging and intertwining; or where roses, violets, or purple hyacinths mark the springtime fields with their flowers! ’ The son of bow-wielding Apollo could not bear such joys. Raising both hands toward the heavens he said, ‘O, would that the Sisters, 181 who spin the fateful yarn, not be so quick to break the thread of my life, or that it not come about that I be called into the temples of the gods before this beautiful land, most worthy of the gods and their care, is blessed by this promised destiny! Then may Helicon not hold me, or Thessalian Tempe, or the spring which Pegasus struck with his hoof as he flew! Let me set out quickly, let me bind winged sandals to my feet so that, while still a mortal, I may gather the food of celestial life around terrestrial borders before my appointed time; and let me take heavenly drafts of divine nectar before I am allowed to recline at the tables of the gods.’ Even more strongly did Proteus whet his young heart with these words: ‘What cups of pleasing joy would you drain, you who are already blessed in so many respects, when the Bee—which now is small and tinged with a yellow hue; an alchemist, it flits about the flowery fields with a soft hum storing and carrying back the nectar it has collected—at that future time will happily roam among the stars in heaven, beautiful, giant, and singing sweetly on wings gleaming with gold, and 180 A valley in Thessaly, through which ran the river Peneus between Olympus and Ossa (now the valley of Lykostomo or Dereli). 181 The three Fates, or Moirai, are the sister goddesses Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos. <?page no="473"?> 474 Eudemia in Ten Books aera per liquidum fulgentes explicet alas, nec per floriferos saltus et amoena salicta iam thyma, iam cythisos carpat casiasque virentes impigra, sed subiens animoso pectore caeli 85 ardua sidereis redolentia floribus arva, inde sinum referat divino nectare plenum. Quod si progenies fratris Mellitus adire oppida dignetur, prisca de voce, Sabella, quos regere imperio populos 533 properabit amoris, 90 quovis deflectet geminos, vaga lumina, soles, arva licet canis rigeant viduata pruinis. Protinus egelidos pellent tepefacta vapores ac varios tellus educet verna colores, lilia, narcissos, violas atque alba ligustra, 95 magnanimi Humani cernes tantum instar in illo.’ Talia facundo Proteus cum funderet ore, tristia Aristaeus curarum et amara levabat dulcibus alloquiis, neglectae taedia vitae, abstersisque notis animi moerentis amoena 100 fronte ait: ‘O Proteu, fugiunt ut pectore curae! Grandia festivae redeunt ut gaudia menti! Perge ergo atque alacris fatorum arcana reclude.’ ‘Si curas animi vis haec pulcherrima lucis, nondum nata tibi tempestatesque serenat,’ 534 105 excepit Proteus, ‘quas tunc exorta nitentes cum late effundens radios illuxerit orbi, eiciet mentis tenebras, quae nubila pellet! Fronte renidenti quot fulmina mittet amoris! Musarum iam docta choris comitatus Apollo 110 533 Verg. Aen. VI.851: “Tu regere imperio populos.” 534 Verg. Aen. I.255: “tempestatesque serenat.” <?page no="474"?> Book Nine 475 from there it will embrace the world, banish war far and wide, and at the same time it will summon its own citizens to joyous peace.’ The son of Cyrene said, ‘The yearning of my eager heart so abounds within, and my joys increase to such an extent, that it is very like grim death for me not to join my feeble voice to the melodious lyre or raise the extraordinary praise of the Bee to the stars. Yield to me, Proteus, and let us sing together, while Sirius above lights up the parched fields, and let the reward of our effort be granted to the work for it. Let Doris hear us singing these things from her green cave, and let Nereus, ruler of the waters, hear us out at sea as we soothe the empty breezes with our joyful harmonies.’ Proteus assumed the task assigned to him with a happy face, and he joined radiant Aristaeus in singing, in golden song, the future power and kingdom of the Bee: ‘O beloved of supreme Jupiter, whom you lovingly nourished in the Idalian cave, 182 you who followed the rites of the Curetes 183 ; you will come as an aid to the world in return for such a gift; and faith, glory, virtue, and lovely hope will follow you, as will Astraea, 184 who tore herself from the earth. With you at the helm, dire famine and black pestilence—a swarm with hideous decay—will flee; and the oak, pleasing to Jove, will yield cells full of honey, and the ilex tree, mingling with the clouds, will pour forth its nectar-filled juices and golden fruit. The fatigued traveler will no longer drink liquid from the stream with his thirsty mouth but will drink cups filled with sweet milk. O glory of the Pierides and of Apollo, O light, O deepest concern, you who by your song recall the wonders of ancient times, so that the forest oaks run in time to their song, the Eumenides 185 remain dumbstruck, and Cerberus keeps his three jaws closed.’ Having spoken, Proteus leaped back into the sea, and the shepherd Aristaeus returned to his maternal home.” 182 A reference to a cave on Mount Ida in Crete where the Naiad Amalthea nursed the god Jove to health; the story is narrated in Ov. Fast. V.115-28. 183 Corybants, or Korybantes, were the offspring of Apollo and the Muse Thalia. They worshipped the Phrygian goddess Cybele with ritualistic drumming and dancing. 184 Daughter of Astraeus and Eos, Astraea is the virgin goddess of justice, innocence, and purity. 185 Another name for the Furies, the goddesses of vengeance. <?page no="475"?> 476 Eudemia in Ten Books carmina disponit; iam laetos linquere saltus praeparat Aonios, fontesque ac frigida Tempe, et celeri properare gradu, quo culta vocabunt tum iuga, tum valles arvum caelumque Sabellum. Quas canere in gyrum laetasque agitare choreas 115 incipient, sparsis post candida colla capillis, rusticae Hamadryades, facilesque ad furta Napaeae, aut ubi nigra comas hirsutaque vertice pinus, Delphica vel laurus frondosaque myrtus opacam nexilibus texant ramis subeuntibus umbram, 120 aut ubi distinguant vernantia floribus arva tum rosa, tum violae, tum purpurei hyacinthi! ’ Talia non tulit Arcipotentis gaudia natus, sed duplices inquit tendens ad sidera palmas 535 : ‘O utinam nentes fatalia pensa Sorores 125 ante meae celeres non rumpant stamina vitae, nec prius eveniat me divum in templa vocari, quam Superum cura ac divis dignissima tellus illa decens fuerit promissa sorte beata! Tum me non Helicon teneat, non Thessala Tempe, 130 non fons, quem volitans excussit Pegasus ungui. Corripiam cursum, nectam talaria plantis, quo, mortalis adhuc, terrestria limina circum ante diem capiam caelestis pabula vitae, quamque prius liceat mensis accumbere divum, 135 aetherios ducam divini nectaris haustus.’ Acrior at Proteus iuvenilia pectora dictis talibus exacuit: ‘Quae tum,’ inquit, ‘pocula blandae laetitiae haurires, iam ex omni parte beatus, 535 Verg. Aen. I.93: “Ingemit et duplices tendens ad sidera palmas.” <?page no="476"?> Book Nine 477 <?page no="477"?> 478 Eudemia in Ten Books cum quae nunc tenuis fuscoque infecta colore, 140 florida Apis leni circumvolat arva susurro, Daedalea 536 exceptum referens infecta liquorem, tum formosa, ingens, auroque nitentibus alis dulce canens, caeli feliciter astra pererret, unde orbem complexa, suos ad laeta vocabit, 145 expulsis late bellis simul otia cives.’ ‘Sic intus superat cupidi mihi pectoris ardor,’ Cyrene genitus dixit, ‘sic gaudia crescunt, ut plane immitis iam sit mihi funeris instar non tenuem fidibus vocem sociare canoris 150 atque Apis eximias ad sidera tollere laudes. Da mihi te facilem, Proteu, iunctique canamus, Sirius arentes supra dum fulgurat agros, sitque operis merces, operi tribuisse laborem. Audiat haec Doris viridi de rupe canentes, 155 audiat et pelago Nereus, regnator aquarum, mulcentes vacuas laetis concentibus auras.’ Accipit haec hilari Proteus data munia vultu, atque Apis imperium venturaque regna nitenti iunctus Aristaeo, cecinit sic aurea cantu: 160 ‘Supremo dilecta Iovi, quem grata sub antro pavisti Idalio, Curetum sacra secuta, orbis in auxilium venies pro munere tanto, teque fides, decus ac virtus et amoena voluptas et, quae se eripuit terris, Astraea sequetur. 165 Te duce, dira fames foedaque examina tabe atra lues fugiet, plenas ac nectare cellas grata Iovi quercus, implexaque nubibus ilex 536 Daedalea: industrious; cf. Calp. Ecl. II.19-20: “ illis etiam certantibus ausa est / daedala nectareos apis intermittere flores” (Siculus, Nemesianus, and Keene 1887: 68 n. 20). <?page no="478"?> Book Nine 479 <?page no="479"?> 480 Eudemia in Ten Books nectareos fundet succos atque aurea poma; nec iam praeteriens sitienti fessus ab amne 170 ore bibet latices, dulci sed pocula lacte. Pieridum Phoebique decus, lux, maxima cura, quae revoces cantu veterum miracula rerum, ut sua silvestres currant ad carmina quercus, Eumenides stupeant, teneat tria Cerberus ora.’ 175 His dictis, Proteus saltu se iecit in aequor. Pastor Aristaeus materna in tecta recessit.” Delectavit nos mirabiliter illud carmen et, quod caput est, a somno atque ab exspectandi molestia liberos reddidit. Sed vix Gallonius ad eius carminis calcem decurrerat, cum ita ruere hominum multitudo coepit, ut minore vi impetuque torrentes ire dixisses. Ac dicto citius impleti sunt omnes e marmore sedilium ordines. Atque inter eos qui serius venerant ac frustra sessum properabant incedere, eum aspicimus, qui mane illo patroni sui liberalitatem enarraverat. Et quia aliquanto laxius sedebamus, in angustius nos ipsi spatium, alter alterum impellendo, contraximus tantumque spatii reliquimus, quantum esset uni satis; tum vocatum eum ad nos recepimus. De quo Paulus Aemilius quaesivit num senex ille Megalobulus, qui erat ita ridicule parcus in remunerando, pecuniae inopia laboraret, aut in magno aliquo aere alieno versaretur. Qui, “Immo est,” ait, “longe ditissimus atque in suis nummis neque teruncium cuiquam mortalium debet. Nam ex fructibus praediorum quae possidet talenta magna auri tricena statim capit, quorum vix bina ad vitae necessitatem ac ad usum domesticum erogat.” - “Edepol,” inquam, “mortalem parce parcum praedicas.” 537 “Sexcenta,” ait ille, “sunt quae memorem, at illud memorabile de sua liberalitate exemplum, antequam huc me reciperem, dedit. Ingens eum cupiditas ceperat symphoniacos quosdam audiendi, qui hodie laudantur in primis. Haec eius cupiditas eorum coryphaeo renuntiatur. Qui pro eo, quod iste ob munus quod sustinet magno est in honore ac nomine, una cum symphoniacis statim accurrit. At illi iussi ad miraculum canunt. Sed postquam tres horas, atque eo amplius, misere illos exercitos habuit, pollucibili eos merenda accipi imperat. Nec mora; mustacei aeque cariosi, atque ille quem mercedem esse voluerat laborum, quos pro ipso sumsissem, afferuntur. His spirae 538 ac pauca quaedam bellaria accedunt, quae annum integrum in sua supellectile, clausa 537 Plaut. Aul. II.iv.318: “edepol mortalem parce parcum praedicas.” 538 Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 14 refers to Cato (Agr. LXXVII) where he provides a recipe. 43 44 <?page no="480"?> Book Nine 481 The poem pleased us immensely, and, most importantly, it saved us from our drowsiness and the tedium of waiting. But Gallonius had barely reached the end of the poem when a crowd of people started rushing in, in such a way that you would have said a raging stream moved with less force and violence. Before you knew it, all the marble seats had filled up. Among those who arrived on the later side, and were hurrying in vain to sit down, we saw the man coming toward us who, that very morning, had told us about his patron’s generosity. Since we weren’t packed in very tightly where we were sitting, we made room by squeezing closer together, leaving just enough space for one person, and we called him over to come sit with us. Paulus Aemilius asked him whether that old man Megalobulus, who was ridiculously stingy with his bonuses, was suffering from a shortage of cash or whether he had a lot of debt. The man replied, “On the contrary, he is extremely wealthy and doesn’t owe a penny to anyone. He regularly earns thirty great talents of gold as income from each of the properties he owns, but he spends barely two talents for living expenses and on his household.” - “By God,” I said, “That is one miserly miser you are talking about.” - “I’ve got a million stories I could tell you, but he provided one memorable example of his generosity before I came here. He was gripped by a great desire to hear a certain choir that garners particular praise nowadays. This desire of his was communicated to the choir director. For this man’s sake, the choir director came straightaway, together with the choristers, because he held the man in high honor and esteem on account of a gift he had received. On command, the choir sang wonderfully. After he had made them practice for more than three hours in miserable conditions, Megalobulus arranged for them to be served a sumptuous snack. Without delay, he had must cakes brought in that were just as dried out as that other one with which he wanted to repay the efforts that I had undertaken for him. To these were added 43 44 <?page no="481"?> 482 Eudemia in Ten Books atque constructa, tum primum ad aspiciendam lucem excesserant. Vinum etiam illis suppeditatur, quod aberat propius ab aceto quam a vino; atque ita saturatos et expletos domum dimisit. “Coryphaeus, qui eos adduxerat, nunquam maioribus sese tricis implicatum invenit. Nam tumultuosissime paene ab illis oppressus est domi, et compulsus navatae ab ipsis viro nobili operae mercedem efferre; quam si tantulum moraretur, se ab eo repetituros minitabantur. Itaque quo se a flagitatoribus illis molestis atque etiam litium periculis vindicaret, senas in singulos drachmas de suo distribuit. At videte si ille ariditate pumicem vincat, si sterilitate arenam exsuperet. Postquam symphoniacos a se dimisit, vocat oeconomum, queritur, lamentatur sibi rem periisse, se esse eradicatum, atque, ‘Undecim,’ inquit, ‘dii, plus quam est in caelo deorum immortalium, illum perdant, qui artem musicam invenit, quique per eam victitant. Nam si non esset hoc genus hominum, qui aerem venditant quique pro aere rem dare sibi solidam expetunt, non haec mihi cupiditas in animum incidisset! Vanitas mera, persolae 539 nugae! O me fatuum, fungum, bardum! 540 Dum me inanitatibus impleo, illi rebus sese opiparis farciunt. Dii boni, quantum in se vini ingurgitarunt! Quantum rerum preciosissimarum in ventrem abstulerunt! Profecto hic illis dies luculentus illuxit, mihi niger emersit; illis utilis, mihi damnosus evenit. Illis amicus, mihi malignus ex Orco erupit. Ut ego libenter huic diei male facerem, si possem! Ut illi oculos eruerem! Ut mordicus nasum evellerem! Ilicet musicae arti, in maximam malem crucem! ’ Ac finem querendi nunquam fecisset, nisi oeconomus, qui pulchre illum nosset, alios de rebus domesticis sermones intulisset.” Dum haec loquitur, Icosippus adest, suggestum ascendit; surgit praeco, facit populo audientiam 541 ; ille huiuscemodi orationem habet. “Credo ego, auditores, exspectari a me longam atque omnibus verborum sententiarumque luminibus splendidam et ornatam orationem. Sed vos spes ista deficiet; atque si ea huc gratia venistis, surgatis moneo et qua venistis semita, revertatis. Eorum enim, in quos dicimus, temeritas ac stultitia non altae exaggerataeque orationis quasi telis feriri, sed salibus facetiisque elevari desiderat. Quamobrem pro ratione 539 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 16) observes that the adjective persolus (instead of per solus) appears in line I.ii.155 in some editions of Plaut. Men. 540 Plaut. Bacch. V.i.1087-8: “qui fuerunt quique futuri sunt / posthac stulti, stolidi, fatui, fungi, bardi, blenni, buccones.” 541 Plaut. Poen. Prologue 11: “exsurge, praeco, fac populo audientiam.” 45 46 <?page no="482"?> Book Nine 483 braided cakes and a few other sweets, which had been kept piled up in a pantry for an entire year before they had been brought out to see the light of day for the first time. They were also offered wine—which was actually more like vinegar than wine—and he sent them home stuffed full. “The choir director, who had brought them there, had never before found himself entangled in such great troubles. Once they got home, with a great fracas the choristers almost overwhelmed him, and they forced him to pony up the money for the service they had provided to the nobleman; and if he hesitated even a little bit, they threatened to recover the payment out of his own pocket. Therefore, in order to free himself from their troublesome demands, as well as from the dangers of a legal dispute, he paid each of them six drachmas from his own funds. But look how that rich man bests pumice in terms of dryness and is more barren than sand. After he had dismissed the choristers, he summoned his accountant, complained, and lamented that he was ruined, that he had been utterly destroyed, and he said, ‘May eleven gods, 186 more than there are immortal gods in heaven, ruin whoever invented music and whoever makes a living by it. If these people who sell air, and who ask for something concrete in exchange for air, didn’t exist, this desire would never have entered my mind. It is pure vanity, pure trifles! O what a fool I am! What a mushroom! How stupid! While I fill myself with useless pleasures, these musicians stuff themselves with sumptuous delicacies. Good gods, how much wine they’ve gorged! How much rich food they’ve put in their stomachs! For them this day shone brightly, but for me it was dark. It turned out well for them and ruinous for me. It was kind to them, but for me it was a day from hell. I would gladly curse this day, if I could! If only I could rip its eyes out and bite off its nose! To hell with the musical arts! ’ He never would have put an end to his complaints if his accountant, who knew him very well, had not changed the subject to other household matters.” While the man was recounting these things, Icosippus arrived and climbed up on the stage. The master of ceremonies stood up and got the audience’s attention. Icosippus made the following speech: “I believe my audience is expecting me to give a long and ornate speech that shines with every embellishment of words and meaning. But your hopes will be dashed; so if that is the reason you are here, I urge you to get up and go back home the way you came. The thoughtlessness and stupidity of those we speak against requires not being struck down with the arrows, so to speak, of a lofty and high-flown oration, but being made light of with wit and joking. For this reason, in the interest of time, which will 186 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 15) notes that there are twelve gods of Olympus (but Pluto is often not counted among the gods in heaven because he dwells in the underworld). On the other hand, the nine Muses plus Apollo make ten gods, which makes more sense in this context. 45 46 <?page no="483"?> 484 Eudemia in Ten Books temporis, quod totum hilaritati tribuitur, brevi, iucunda ac familiari oratione vos delectare conabor. Ac ne mihi sim in mora, ad rem ipsam aggredior. “Ex omnibus huius vitae rebus nulla minus firma ad consistendum res est quam generis humani fragilitas; neque ullus unquam sapiens tanto cum plausu vitae cursum tenere potuit, quin aliquando vel ad dexteram, vel ad sinistram de regione deflexerit. Ad haec, si cui tempus, aetas, occasio ad fallenda vestigia, tanquam limus subsederit, vel tanquam impetus ad deflectendum vim prope attulerit, quid mirum, si hunc errare vel labi contingat? Satis officio, satis sibi ipse fecerit, si vel in luto totis vestigiis haerere, vel tota via errare iucundum non duxerit, sed reducenti se ab errore, vel retrahenti a sordibus manus dare non recusaverit. Verum ex omnibus casibus et erroribus periculosiores gravioresque sunt multo errores et prolapsiones cordis quam linguae, animi quam sermonis. Hae enim culpae sunt temeritatis, illae consilii; hae levitatis, illae cuiusdam quasi immanitatis. Linguae extrinsecus sordes illinuntur, animo turpitudo intrinsecus additur. Lingua, dum aliis voluptatem, nobis hilaritatem quaerit, saepe nolentes quo minime cogitamus abstrahit. Animus, dum quod incidit in mentem vult, sese sciens volensque ad nefaria vitia, tanquam ad infames aliquos scopulos, impellit ac frangit. ‘At petulans,’ inquies, ‘lingua non tenue corrupti est animi argumentum? Ut enim lyra vel fides, concordibus inter se nervis, dulce et iucundum quid recinit, iisdemque discordibus absonum et inconditum aliquid reddit, ita bene cordatus animus nullam nisi ex virtute, nullam nisi ex optimis moribus vocem emittit; contra intemperans ac pravus turpibus ex verbis, tanquam ex discordi quodam sono, praesertim agnoscitur.’ Vide quam nihil agas. Ita fidium et animi in voce cantuque reddendo dissimilis est ratio, ut nunquam res duae minus apte in comparatione iungantur. Non potest lyra vel fides recte canendo male convenientium inter se chordarum discordiam dissimulare, sed est necesse ut ex earum ratione modoque pulsatae sonum emittant. Sola impuro animo, ut cantus discordibus nervis in fidibus, non respondet oratio. “Non petam aliunde huius rei argumenta, non abibo longius; in his temporibus, in his moribus versabor miseris ac perditis. Quid est tam commune quam fidem fallere, promissa non facere, alterum blanditiis in fraudem illicere? Quae omnia quid aliud, nisi ab improbo animo probam orationem proficisci posse, declarant? Quoties, cum lingua iuratur, mens tamen iniurata retinetur! Quoties 47 48 <?page no="484"?> Book Nine 485 be devoted entirely to lightheartedness, I will attempt to delight you with a brief, pleasant, and informal speech. Not to keep you waiting any longer, I will get to the heart of the matter. “Of all the things in this life, nothing is harder to keep in check than man’s frailty; nor has any wise man been able to maintain a course of life with such acclaim that he did not, at some point, stray either to the left or the right from the straight path. What is more, if time, age, or opportunity ambush his footsteps, like mud, causing him to fall, or bring about some force, like a shove, turning him sideways, is it any wonder that he strays and slips up? He will sufficiently fulfill his duty and do well enough for himself if he doesn’t keep both feet stuck in the mud, or doesn’t consider it enjoyable to stray from the path entirely; but instead doesn’t refuse to reach out his hand to someone leading him away from error or dragging him out of the muck. Out of all the mishaps and mistakes, however, the errors and slips of the heart are far more dangerous and dire than those of the tongue; and those of the mind more than those of speech. The latter are the fault of carelessness, the former of intent; the latter of lightheartedness, the former almost of a certain monstrousness. Filth of the tongue spreads on the outside, depravity sets in on the mind internally. As long as the tongue seeks to entertain others and bring lightheartedness to ourselves, it often diverts us from things we don’t want to think about. As long as our soul wants what enters our mind, it is aware of itself and voluntarily strikes and smashes against wicked vices, as if they were some sort of heinous rocks. ‘But,’ you ask, ‘isn’t a vulgar tongue a not insignificant sign of a corrupt mind? Just as the lyre or the lute makes a sweet and pleasant sound when the strings are in tune with each other—and, by the same token, produce an assonant and artless sound when the strings are discordant—in the same way, a well-tempered soul doesn’t emit any sound that does not originate from virtue or from the best morals. By contrast, we can recognize an ill-tempered and wicked soul especially from foul words, as if from some discordant sound.’ Observe how worthless your argument is. So different are the ways in which lutes and the soul produce their sound and song, that no two things have ever been less suitably compared. The lyre and the lute, if they are playing in harmony, cannot hide the discord of their poorly tuned strings; when played, they must necessarily emit a sound that accords with their nature and mode. Speech alone does not correspond to an impure soul, like the sound of a lute does with discordant strings. “I will not look elsewhere for evidence of this, and I won’t go far afield. I will remain here in our time and place, with its wretched and depraved morals. What is so commonplace as to break one’s word, not keep promises, and entice another person into fraud with flattery? What else do all of these things confirm other than that honest speech can spring from a dishonest soul? How often is 47 48 <?page no="485"?> 486 Eudemia in Ten Books casta oratio ad insidiandum pudicitiae virginum matronarumque castitati suscipitur! Quoties ad evertendos fama, vita, fortunis homines officii species induitur! Vidi ego per simulationem amicitiae deceptos ac perditos, quos inimicitiae indictae apertaeque non laeserant. Vidi ego praesidia longe munita pudoris et pudicitiae, quae nulla vis ceperat, fictae probitatis insidiis expugnari vincique. Quid multa? Nullus ad captandos homines certior laqueus immittitur quam qui pudico proboque sermone contegitur. Hic, quia ioci causa in ambiguum aliquod verbum delabitur, cum reliqua vita sit continens, timetur, fugitur. Alter, qui non linguam ad unum verbum, sed manus ad quodcunque facinus tendit, qui non sermonem ad lepidum aliquod factum, quamvis dignum supplicio, explicandum inflectit, sed mentem corpusque in omne genus libidinis tanquam in lutum demergit, quod castior eius videtur oratio, amatur, accipitur. At nullum a faceto illo periculum imminet; at contra magnus a probo isto, si diis placet, metus ostenditur. Nemo in libera illius oratione rei suae vel pudicitiae naufragium fecit; contra in istius pudico sermone multorum innocentium fortunae, multarum ingenuarum castitas haesit. “Mirum quantum hunc locum illustrat apologus ille de musculo, qui nunquam lare familiari suo, hoc est, domestici parietis rimis egressus, lucem aspexerat; cui simul ac exiit, gallus et felis ocurrerunt. Felis, mansueta ac dormienti similis, quasi non vidisset, dissimulare, oculos interdum alio convertere, locum non relinquere, nullam vocem dare. Contra gallus summa cum festivitate et maxima voce accurrere, obviam eidem tendere, maximos ludos inire. Musculus, ea voce ac forma perterritus, fugam arripere, in penitissimam sui parietis partem se conferre. Forte domi aderat mater, cum sic fugientem eum aspexit et, ‘Quo te agis,’ inquit, ‘fili? Quid est quod te exanimatum video? ’ Cui musculus, ‘Mater mea, perii! ’ Mater, ‘Quid tibi est? ’ ait, ‘Quid periisti? ’ Cui tandem misellus ille, ‘Egredienti mihi,’ inquit, ‘domo fit obviam nescio quod animal bipes, cristatum, plumis tectum, eiecta lingua, fluentibus buccis, ardentibus oculis, quod statim in me impetum fecit (credo) ut integrum devoraret. Sedebat ex adverso aliud animal pellitum, placidissimum; videre velles, mater, vultu adeo mansueto, adeo venusto, ut nihil supra. Id non se loco movebat, sed oculos, modo graves somno paululum dabat, modo instar siderum lucidissimos alio detorquebat.’ Cui mater, ‘Quid audio? ’ inquit. ‘Hoc est illud animal adeo generi nostro infestum, de quo tibi saepe narravi; neque aliud quidquam illa mansuetudinis simulatione spectabat, nisi ut te incautum opprimeret. Contra illud alterum, festivum ac petulans, 49 <?page no="486"?> Book Nine 487 one’s mind not swearing an oath while the tongue is doing so! How often one deploys chaste speech in order to ambush the purity of virgins or the chastity of matrons! How often one assumes the appearance of duty in order to ruin men’s reputations, lives, and fortunes! I have seen men, who had never been harmed by public and overt enmity, be deceived and ruined through feigned friendship. I have seen the strongest fortresses of modesty and chastity, that no force was able to capture, assaulted and defeated by an ambush of false probity. Need I go on? There is no more effective a trap to be set for catching men than one that is concealed behind virtuous and upright speech. We fear and shun this man over here because he used some questionable word in jest, even though he practices restraint in the rest of his life. That other man, whose tongue doesn’t touch a particular word, but who reaches his hands toward any crime whatsoever—and who doesn’t adapt his speech to recounting some amusing event, even one that is worthy of punishment, but sinks his mind and body into all manner of lust, as if into mud—that man we love and embrace because his speech seems more chaste. But it’s the witty man who poses no danger; whereas, by contrast, there is much to fear (may it please the gods) from the upstanding man. Nobody’s property or virtue will come to ruin on account of the overly free speech of the former; whereas, by contrast, the fortunes of many innocent men, and the chastity of many unsuspecting women, is placed in jeopardy by the virtuous speech of the latter. “It is remarkable how the fable of the little mouse illustrates this point. 187 He had never seen sunlight because he had never left his family hearth—that is to say, the cracks in the walls that were his home. As soon as the little mouse went outside, he met a cat and a rooster. The cat, who was gentle and appeared to be asleep, almost as if it hadn’t seen the mouse, ignored him, averted its eyes elsewhere, didn’t leave its spot, and didn’t make a sound. The rooster, on the other hand, ran toward him with the greatest fanfare and the loudest noise and initiated much play. The little mouse, terrified of the rooster’s sound and size, turned tail, ran, and headed into the innermost recesses of his walls. His mother, who happened to be home, saw him running and said, ‘Where are you going, my son? Why are you so out of breath? ’ The little mouse replied, ‘Mother, I am undone! ’ The mother mouse responded, ‘What is it? Why are you undone? ’ Finally, the poor little mouse replied, ‘When I left the house, some two-footed animal, with a crest and all covered with feathers, came at me with its tongue sticking out, its slobbery mouth, and its flashing eyes; and it immediately attacked me with the intention, I believe, of devouring me whole. On the other side there was another animal that was covered in fur and very peaceful. You should have seen 187 This is one of Aesop’s fables, titled “Musculus, felis et gallus.” 49 <?page no="487"?> 488 Eudemia in Ten Books effusissima illa laetitia ludos tantum iocosque tibi parabat.’ Felis similitudine religiosus ille designatur, qui linguam quidem continentem habet, sed manus promtas ad quodcunque facinus gerit. In galli vero protervia, eius libertas agnoscitur, qui linguam patitur interdum longius excurrere, mores autem facile semper tuetur. “‘At istuc,’ inquies, ‘cordis linguaeque dissidium nunquam sani hominis reprehensionem effugiet, cuius aures ab oratione cum moribus dissentiente immane quantum abhorrent.’ Bene agis, novi locum ubi te iactes. Nam istuc cordis linguaeque dissidium omnibus sapientibus merito semper fuit invisum. Sed duplici ratione sermonem a corde discrepare contingit. Primum, cum probam orationem vita scelesta atque omnibus vitiis contaminata subvertit. Deinde, cum lascivum sermonem ratione modoque adhibitum, vita integra interdum ioci causa ac delectationis assumit. Primum acerrime viri boni insectantur; at prope silentio alterum obruunt. Primum flagitiosum ac turpe; alterum humanum risuque excipiendum putatur. Primum poena supplicioque constringendum; alterum impunitum ac liberum dimittendum esse censetur. Primum exsecrandum; alterum in his etiam moribus expetendum videtur. Postremo, in uno omnia insunt vitia simulationis, mendacii, improbitatis, proditionis, nequitiae; in altero vix tenuis quaedam nota imprudentiae ac levitatis agnoscitur. “Quid si homines gravissimi atque ab omnibus vitiis remotissimi in hac sunt sermonis levitate versati? Mitto Horatium, Ovidium, quorum uterque obscenis versibus libros suos refersit, et tamen alter pudicum se, ait, servatum ‘ab omni, non solum furto, verum opprobrio quoque turpi.’ 542 542 Hor. Sat. I.VI.82-4: “pudicum, / qui primus virtutis honos, servavit ab omni / non solum facto, verum opprobrio quoque turpi.” IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 17) notes the discrepancy in this text of the word furto where the Horatian verse reads facto. 50 51 52 <?page no="488"?> Book Nine 489 it, Mother; its expression was so gentle, so charming, that nothing could have been more so. It didn’t move from where it was sitting, but it sometimes looked at me with eyes that were slightly heavy with sleep, and were occasionally directed elsewhere, shining brightly like stars.’ The mother mouse responded, ‘What’s this I hear? It is this second animal that is so dangerous to our kind, the one I have often told you about. With its feigned gentleness, it was biding its time for no reason other than to ambush you when your guard is down. That other animal, by contrast, is playful and cheeky, and was priming you for games and play with its over-the-top exuberance.’ The cat represents the pious man, who checks his tongue but has his hands at the ready for any sort of misdeed. In the cheekiness of the rooster we recognize the frankness of the man who sometimes gives his tongue freer rein, but who finds it easy to uphold his morality. “‘But,’ you say, ‘this discrepancy between the heart and the tongue would never escape the censure of a sensible man, whose ears shrink as much as possible from savage speech that is at odds with a person’s actions.’ You are right, and I recognize where you are going with this. After all, this discrepancy between the heart and the tongue has always been detestable to anyone with good judgment, and rightly so. But there are two ways in which speech can differ from the heart. The first is when a life that is wicked and contaminated with every manner of vice subverts honest speech. The second is when a life that is lived honestly employs spirited speech, every now and then and with reason and measure, for the sake of playfulness and fun. Men of good morals bitterly criticize the first, but they pass over the second almost in silence. The first is considered shameful and disgraceful, the second as human and something to be met with a smile. It is believed that the first should be checked with penalties and punishment, while the second should be given a pass and let go. The first is seen as abhorrent, the second as desirable even with this type of behavior. Finally, the first contains all the vices of pretense, lying, wickedness, betrayal, and crime; while in the second, we recognize hardly even the slightest trace of careless and frivolous speech. “And what about the fact that the gravest men, ones far removed from any vice, have engaged in that sort of frivolous speech? I will not mention Horace or Ovid, each of whom crammed their books full of lewd verses. And yet the former poet said that he kept himself chaste ‘not only from every secret love affair but from every shameful scandal.’ 50 51 52 <?page no="489"?> 490 Eudemia in Ten Books “Alter vero, Augusto Caesari suam probare innocentiam cupiens, sic ait: ‘Crede mihi, distant mores a carmine nostro: vita verecunda est, Musa iocosa mea est.’ 543 Mitto, inquam, hos omnes. Marcus Tullius Cicero, qui sibi homini in republica novo, nulla commendatione maiorum instructo, sed tantum probitatis innocentiaeque praesidiis munito, summos ad honores aditus patuisse confirmat, 544 qui hoc praesertim argumento innocentiam suam omnibus probatam esse vult, quod se honoresque suos, tanquam in aliquo orbis terrae theatro, omnium oculis expositos habuisse putaverit, qui usque eo se probum fuisse gloriatur, ut semper omnia quae iucunda videntur esse non modo his extraordinariis cupiditatibus, sed etiam ipsi naturae ac necessitati denegarit. 545 Hic, inquam, vir, tam suo iudicio probus, tum alias saepe in orationibus suis de obscenissimis vitiis summa cum libertate disseruit, tum praesertim in secunda Philippica, improbissimis Antonii moribus exagitandis, ita repagula omnia modestiae perfringit, 546 ut interdum me partem illam orationis pudeat aspicere. Quis integrior, quis castior, quis melior in republica civis Quinto Catulo patre fuit? Verum si ex quibusdam epigrammatibus iudicare de eius moribus liceat, quod nefariae libidinis genus ab eius vita abfuisse credendum est? Quid multa? Pisonem illum, qui ex incredibili in omnibus rebus temperantia Frugi cognomen invenit, nonne iis usum esse verbis in Annalibus suis veterum memoria testatur, quae a paulo verecundo homine sine rubore legi vix queant? At istorum omnium obscena oratio non est paucorum commissa auribus, sed omnibus saeculis tradita, non sparsa in breve nescio quod tempus, sed proseminata in orbis terrae memoriam sempiternam. 543 Ov. Tr. II.353-4: “crede mihi, distant mores a carmine nostri / vita verecunda est, Musa iocosa mea.” 544 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 19) refers the reader to Cic. Planc. XXVII.67: “Laterensi … idem virtuti cursus ad gloriam, hoc facilior fortasse quod ego huc a me ortus … istius egregia virtus adiuvabitur commendatione maiorum.” 545 Cic. Verr. II.V.XIV.36 “ut me quaesturamque meam quasi in aliquo terrarum orbis theatro versari existimarem, ut semper omnia quae iucunda videntur esse, ea non modo his extraordinariis cupiditatibus sed etiam ipsi naturae ac necessitati denegarem.” 546 Cic. Verr. II.V.XV.39: “ut earum rerum vi et auctoritate omnia repagula pudoris officiique perfringeres.” IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 21) refers to Cic. Phil. 2.44-5. 53 54 <?page no="490"?> Book Nine 491 “On the other hand, the latter poet, desiring to prove his innocence to Augustus Caesar, said: ‘Believe me, my morals differ from my poems; my life is modest while my Muse is playful.’ I repeat, I will not mention them. Marcus Tullius Cicero confirms that access to the highest offices were open to him as a novus homo without any recommendation from his ancestors, but only protected by the shields of probity and integrity. He wanted to prove his integrity to everyone, with this argument especially, that he believed he had exposed himself and his honors before everyone’s eyes, as if on the world stage; and he prided himself on being so upright, to the point that he refused everything that appeared enjoyable, not just to abnormal desires but also to those that are natural and normal. This man, I repeat, who was so upright in his judgment, spoke at times elsewhere in his orations about the most obscene vices with the highest degree of freedom. At times, especially in his Second Philippic while attacking the wicked morals of Mark Antony, he broke through every barrier of restraint to the extent that I am sometimes embarrassed to look at that part of his speech. Who is more full of integrity, who is more chaste, who is a better Republican citizen than the senator Quintus Catulus? Be honest, if it were up to us to judge his morals based on some of his epigrams, what sorts of abominable passions would we believe were not part of his life? 188 What more can I say? Doesn’t the memory of our ancestors attest that Piso, who acquired the cognomen Frugi because of his extraordinary self-restraint in all things, used words in his Annals that a somewhat more modest man can hardly read without blushing? 189 The bawdy writings of these men were not entrusted to a few men to hear, but they were handed down through all generations; and they were not scattered about for a brief period of time but were propagated for the eternal memory of the entire world. 188 Quintus Lutatius Catulus (149-87 BCE) was a consul of the Roman Republic. As a general he was awarded a Triumph for leading his men to victory in a battle against the Cimbri. Indeed, in his De officiis (I. XXII.76) Cicero considers him no lesser a leader than Pompey. At the same time, Quintus Catulus is credited with introducing the homoerotic Hellenistic epigram to Rome. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 22) refers the reader to Cic. Nat. D. 1.79 and Gell. NA 19.9.14, which are the only two places fragments of Catulus’s epigrams have been preserved. 189 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 23) refers to Cic. Fam. 9.22.2, where Cicero cites Piso complaining that certain young men had “surrendered to their penis” (peni deditos); that is, that they were controlled by their sexual desire. 53 54 <?page no="491"?> 492 Eudemia in Ten Books “Sed iam procedat in medium non unus aliquis vir probus, sed ingens eorum numerus, non unius aetatis eiusmodi hominum conventus, sed multorum saeculorum iam inde usque a Zenone magistro proseminata Stoicorum familia. Cum istis non modo non esset concessum corpus suum voluptatibus tradere, sed ne mentem quidem vel brevissimae earum cogitationi permittere, nullis tamen legibus obstringebantur quo minus obscenum quodcunque verbum, ubicunque opus esset, evomerent. Et quia infinitum esset de singulis dicere, unum eligam Catonem, in quem quidquid ubique severitatis Stoicae fuit, tanquam unum in locum convenisse, multorum litterae tradunt. Hic vir egregius ac magnus, consentiens cum ea disciplina quam profitebatur esse voluit, nullum obscenum verbum a se reicere debuit, cum apud senatum, apud populum perditos suae civitatis mores exsecraretur. Quod si est ita, quid erat eum aspicere, qui cum strenuo virtute, cum abstinente innocentia certabat, ab ignavissimo quoque turpissimoque sermonis verecundia vinci? Quid erat tam admirandum, tam incredibile quam videre Catonem, quo nullum habebat in terris Iupiter spectaculum pulchrius, in conventu hominum honestissimorum aeque liberos habere ructus ac crepitus? Quid tam reprehendendum quam eum, qui, partibus suis non semel fractis, nihilominus stetit inter ruinas publicas rectus, 547 in rebus flagitiosissimis, suis nominibus appellandis, turpiter labi? Sed esse quam videri bonus malebat. 548 Iam vero, si omnem de rebus obscenis sermonem, qui tamen habeat admistum aliquid leporis et salis, a quocunque hominum coetu repellimus, licet comoediam e theatris eiciamus, fabellas proscribamus, satyram e mundo tollamus, quae erubescendis cuiusque amoribus et cupiditatibus, sublatis nominibus, evulgandis, salutem animis, voluptatem auribus quaerit. “‘Nempe,’ inquies, ‘tuus hic sermo huc redit denique, ut nullis coercendam frenis exultantem verborum licentia esse linguam existimes.’ Non est ita. Nimis interdum effusae hilaritati veniam, non liberam impudentiae licentiam, efflagito. Facetos homines interdum temporis causa, prope cum ratione insanientes, a ca- 547 Sen. Prov. I.2.9: “Non video, inquam, quid habeat in terris Iuppiter pulchrius, si eo convertere animum velit, quam ut spectet Catonem iam partibus non semel fractis stantem nihilo minus inter ruinas publicas rectum.” 548 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 24) refers to Sall. Cat. 54.5-6: “At Catoni studium modestiae, decoris, sed maxume severitatis erat; non divitiis cum divite neque factione cum factioso, sed cum strenuo virtute, cum modesto pudore, cum innocente abstinentia certabat. Esse quam videri bonus malebat.” 55 56 <?page no="492"?> Book Nine 493 “But let’s not just bring a single upstanding man forward as an example, but a large group of them. Indeed, the Stoic sect is not just a gathering of men from a single time period, but it has been propagated for many centuries, starting with its founder Zeno. Although these Stoics were not only forbidden from giving their bodies over to pleasure, but were not allowed to let their minds think about pleasure for even the briefest period of time, nevertheless they were not hampered by any laws preventing them from belching out whatever obscene words they wanted, whenever it was warranted. Because it would take us forever to talk about each one of them, I will choose Cato as an example, in whom, as the writings of many of the ancients inform us, every stricture of Stoic doctrine converges as if in a single point. This outstanding and great man wanted to live coherently with those doctrines he professed, but he felt no need to hold back any obscene word while excoriating the corrupt morals of his society before the senate and the people. This being the case, how would it have been possible for this man, who competed in strength with the vigorous and in uprightness with the abstinent, to be bested in modest speech by some good-for-nothing disgrace of a man? What would have been more remarkable, more incredible, than seeing Cato, the most illustrious spectacle that Jupiter had put on this earth, let loose equally with burps and farts in the company of the most honorable men? What would have been more reprehensible than seeing that man—having seen his faction broken apart more than once, yet nevertheless standing tall amidst the ruins of the Republic—fall into disgrace while describing, in explicit terms, the most shameful actions? But Cato preferred to be, rather than to seem, morally good. Indeed, if we were to remove all speech about unsavory topics from any social interaction, which nevertheless has a bit of charm and wit mixed in, we might as well throw all comedy out of the theaters, outlaw all stories, and banish satire from the world. By blushing at people’s amorous escapades and divulging their passions, these things bring well-being to our soul and pleasure to our ears, as long as people’s names are redacted. “Of course, you might say, ‘This speech of yours goes so far as to say that, in your opinion, the tongue should not be restrained by any reins and should let loose with unrestrained words.’ Not so. I am advocating forgiveness for the sort of lightheartedness that occasionally goes too far, not for an impertinent freefor-all. I am defending from accusation those people who are witty at appropriate times and have an almost reasoned madness. I’m not advocating leniency for foul people who are always obscene for no reason. Have you heard a less than honorable speech that is nevertheless delivered with honorable words? You should not immediately furrow your brow, screw up your face, or seize upon rebukes. Instead you ought to evaluate the morals of the speaker, his age, advice, devotion, as well as his relevant timing. If you find that an upstanding man has 55 56 <?page no="493"?> 494 Eudemia in Ten Books lumnia, non impuros, nulla de causa semper obscenos, a flagitio vindico. Minus honestam orationem, honestis tamen verbis explicatam, auribus accepisti? Non illico frontem contrahas, mentum intorqueas, obiurgationes arripias; sed mores dicentis, aetatem, consilia, studium, praeterea temporis rationem exquire. Si probo quidpiam homini, tempore permittente ac ceteris rebus non reclamantibus, excidisse comperies, exporrige frontem; da te illi hilarem lubentemque te praebe. ‘At hic progressus est longius.’ At tu naturam, quae illi praesidio deberet esse, in crimen et invidiam vocas. Omnino sic se res habet, ut, quem natura non aptissimum finxit ad iocandum, is, si conetur, ad intolerantiam insaniat. Cui idem contingit quod asello illi contigisse narratur, qui, ut suis sibi blanditiis domini voluntatem alliceret ita, ut catellum facere viderat, anterioribus pedibus in sublime elatis, iisdemque in dominum demissis, totum os illi contudit. Neque hic tamen, ut asellus qui sic fecerat, fuste accipiendus est, sed propter tempestive delectandi voluntatem quam habuit, dignus est potius cui severiorum supercilia et nixa bacillo senectus ignoscat.” Dum haec maxime loqueretur, assensiones multae, admirationes crebrae consequebantur; ita multae acclamantium voces, “Pulchre, bene, recte” exaudiebantur, ut nulla orationis pars silentio praeteriretur. Ac nemo erat in eo contione, qui religiosis illis male non precaretur, qui non eos extinctos cuperet. Sed postquam dicendi finem fecit, a turba gratulantium paene est obrutus. Nos quoque, quantum loci ac temporis patiebantur angustiae, officium eidem nostrum benevolentiamque praestitimus. Atque inde domum revertimur moesti, quod desiderio nostro celerius a nobis Gallonius discederet. Is enim erat noster in eum amor, ut pars viscerum a nobis abrumpi eius abitu videretur. Neque ullus erat relictus hominis retinendi locus. Nam ille, qui eius operas conduxerat et a quo missus ad arcus coemendos fuerat, litteris vehementibus revocabat eum, quod diceret innumeram fere vim avium toto caelo pennas extendere; quae certissima eius praeda essent, si ille cum arcubus et sagittis adesset. Gallonius, ad quem non minor quam ad nos ex ea re aegritudo recidebat, “Inveni,” inquit, “rationem, qua non ita celeriter a me distrahamini. Quo mihi iter est, in publica totius civitatis laetitia ob Regis Nicephori mortem, paucis post diebus referendi sunt omnes illi ludi, qui variis anni temporibus a poliarchis populo dantur. Illuc mecum veniatis censeo. Capietis enim ab iis spectaculis voluptatem non minimam.” Non tam ludorum amoenitas, quae dicebatur, eosque spectandi cupiditas, quam noster in Gallonium amor et iucundissima eiusdem consuetudo fecit ut nos cum eo ituros diceremus et constitueremus. Itaque sine ulla mora, amicis salvere iussis et in primis Aristide, cui etiam pollicitus sum me litteras daturum, nos ad profectionem comparavimus. 57 58 <?page no="494"?> Book Nine 495 slipped, but at an appropriate time and with nothing else going against him, stop frowning! Be cheerful and well-disposed toward him. ‘Perhaps this man has gone too far.’ But you are indicting him as if he had a criminal nature that was full of hatred. The situation is simply this: if a person who is not naturally funny attempts to make a joke, that person would be mad, to the point of being intolerable; and he will meet the same fate as is said to have happened to that donkey 190 who, in order to win his master’s favor with his charms, lifted his front hooves up high and brought them down on his master, just as he had seen a puppy do, smashing up his whole face. Now this joker should not be met with sticks, as the ass was who did this; but, on account of his desire to be entertaining at an appropriate time, he deserves instead to be forgiven by those austere old men with their raised eyebrows and propped up by canes.” While he was speaking so forcefully, he was met with much applause and repeated approbation. So many people cheered “Beautiful! Well said! Rightly so! ” that no part of his speech went unremarked. There was nobody present in that gathering who did not wish ill upon those overly stern men, and who did not wish them dead. After he had finished speaking, he was almost overrun by a crowd of people congratulating him. We too, as much as the limited space and time would allow, offered him our service and friendship. We were sad as we headed home because Gallonius was going to leave us sooner than we wished. Our love for him was such that it seemed as if, with his departure, part of our insides was being ripped out. And there was no longer any reason to keep him here, because the person he worked for, and who had sent him here to purchase bows, was summoning him back with a strongly worded letter saying that there was an enormous number of birds spreading their wings out all over the sky, which would most certainly be fair game if Gallonius were there with his bows and arrows. Gallonius, whose return was causing no less grief to him than it was to us, said, “I’ve thought of a way for the two of you not to be removed from my company so soon. Where I am headed, the entire city will be in a state of public rejoicing on account of King Nicephorus’s death. In a few days all of the games will commence that the poliarchs organize for the populace at certain times of the year. I think you should come with me. You will experience great pleasure from those public spectacles.” It was not so much the delightfulness of the games he was describing, or our desire to see them, that got us to agree and to commit to go with him, as it was our love for Gallonius 190 This is from Aesop’s fable titled “Asinus et catellus.” 57 58 <?page no="495"?> 496 Eudemia in Ten Books Liber X Postridie mane, postquam aurora illuxit, una cum Gallonio ac paucis quibusdam mercatoribus navim petimus, conscendimus, solvimus, vela damus ac prospera usi tempestate celerius multo quam opinio nostra ferebat optatum portum attingimus. E navi egressi alius alio iter arripuit; qui in mercatura vertebantur 549 ad sua negotia, nos ad Gallonii aedes proficiscimur. At Gallonio nihil fuit prius quam ut ad eum recta contenderet, cui arcus sagittasque coemerat, eaque emtione, quam sibi feliciter evenisse arbitrabatur, animum eidem expleret. Ut igitur ad Gallonii aedes pervenimus, paululum (ut opinor) nausea commotos, quod quidem actutum abscessit, nos quieti tradidimus. At interea, dum Gallonius se domum reciperet, ne exspectandi molestia atque fastidio arriperemur, librum aliquem quaerimus lepide de rebus lepidis amoenisque conscriptum, cuius lectione omnis ab animo labor atque fastidium exigeretur. Sed dum multas librorum struices subvertimus, nec ullus adhuc liber nostrae cupiditati conveniens occurrit, audimus vocari a ianua Gallonium. Respondemus domi non esse ac clara voce rogamus ut, quisquis esset, ne gravaretur ascendere. Obtemperat ille, scalas ascendit seque nobis in conspectum tradit. Hic erat Aridus, academicos inter non postremus, et Gallonio amicus in primis. Cui advenienti assurgimus, contra pariter ferimus gradum, salutem impertimur, 550 in amplexum irruimus. Ille quoque non minus perblande eadem nobis humanitatis signa amicitiaeque officia rependit. Tum rogavimus quaenam illum ad nos causa attulisset. “Ut,” inquit, “Gallonio, quem ab eo, qui ipsum in portu vidisset rediisse accepi, tam celerem ac prosperam reversionem gratuler.” - “Rediit ille quidem,” dicimus, “sed ut navi egressus est, nondum deos penates salutatum advenit. Nam voluit primum rebus domini sui, ut aequum erat, praeverti. Verum mox huc eum adfuturum speramus. Tu vero, nisi quid magis es occupatus, da te nobis et interea, dum huc ille se recipit, aliquid tuae suavitatis imperti.” Non fuit 549 Plaut. Mostell. III.i.639: “iam homo in mercatura vortitur.” 550 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 1) corrects this word to impertimus but notes that the deponent form of the verb appears, for example, in Ter. Ad. III.ii.22. 1 2 <?page no="496"?> Book Ten 497 and his pleasing company. Therefore, without any delay, we said goodbye to our friends, especially to Aristides, to whom I even promised to write, and we readied ourselves for our departure. Book Ten The following morning, after the sun had come up, we headed to the ship with Gallonius and a few merchants, where we boarded, weighed anchor, and set sail. Taking advantage of the favorable weather, we arrived at the welcome port much faster than we had anticipated. When we disembarked, everyone took off in a different direction: the merchants went to conduct their business, and we set out to Gallonius’s house. But Gallonius’s highest priority was to head straight to the man he had bought the bows and arrows for, and to satisfy him with a haul that, in Gallonius’s assessment, had turned out well for him. When we arrived at Gallonius’s house, we went to lie down because, I believe, we felt a bit sick to our stomachs and also because Gallonius had vanished straightaway. In the meantime, however, so as not to be overcome by the annoyance and tedium of waiting for Gallonius to return home, we looked around for some amusing book or other, written about charming and pleasant topics, so that, by reading it, we could expel every exertion and bother from our minds. While we were turning over many piles of books but not yet lighting upon any one that struck our fancy, we heard someone calling for Gallonius from the front door. We answered that he wasn’t home, and, in a loud voice, we asked whoever it was if he didn’t mind coming upstairs. He agreed, climbed the stairs, and came to where we could see him. It turned out to be Aridus, not last among the Academy members and, especially, a very close friend of Gallonius. We stood up as he entered, walked toward him, greeted him, and rushed to embrace him. He returned our gesture of kindness and act of friendship no less politely. We then asked him what occasion had brought him to us. He replied, “To congratulate Gallonius on his speedy and prosperous return. I heard from someone, who had seen him at the port, that he was back.” - “He is indeed back,” we said, “but he hasn’t yet come to greet his Penates since he disembarked. He wanted to first attend to his master’s affairs, and rightly so. But we hope he will be here soon. Unless you are busy with something more important, grant us the pleasure of your company; and in the meantime, while Gallonius is making his way back here, share something of your charm with us.” It didn’t take much to get that most humane man to stay. We called for some chairs, and we all sat down together. 1 2 <?page no="497"?> 498 Eudemia in Ten Books opus magna vi ad hominem humanissimum retinendum. Itaque sellas poscimus atque omnes simul assedimus. At Paulus Aemilius ex oculis et ex ore paulum eum perturbatum atque commotum agnovit atque, “Nisi,” inquit, “nimis sim audax: quid, obsecro, istuc est tibi? Quid commutatus est color? Solicitus mihi, nescio quare, videris.” At ille, “Ob cuiusdam mihi responsum, quod sane visum est arrogans, aliquantulum animo aegre est. Dederat mihi vir quidam librum quem ediderat legendum; quem ego, quamquam magnis districtus occupationibus, legi. Modo fit mihi obviam ac meam de illo sententiam exquirit. Cui ego id quod erat respondeo: eum mihi eloquenter ac docte scriptum videri. Ille frontem contrahere, caput quassare, seque mihi esse iratum dicere. Quaero quamobrem. Respondet quod parce se, immo longe infra eius merita laudassem. Exspectabat videlicet homo inflatus ac tumidus, dum ego expallescerem, illacrimarem, dum clamore sublato dicerem, ‘Non potuit melius hic; non suae aetatis modo, sed vicit gloriam omnium superiorum.’ Id quia a me non est factum, fortasse invidiae atque alienae laudis odio assignabat. Tum ego commotus, nullum ultra verbum addens in sua fastosum hominem stultitia reliqui atque huc properavi, ut Gallonium inviserem et quod mihi aegre est apud eum evomerem. Tum ego, “Nulla,” inquam, “ratione ab eo factum existimo, ut ex hoc tuo responso tantopere excandesceret. Non enim a te potuit uberius ac cumulatius ornari. Nam quae maior exspectari poterat oratori laus ab homine ingenuo atque acri sui artificii aestimatore, praeter hanc eruditionis et eloquentiae? Nimius hic in laudando veritatis tanquam excessus ac superlatio, non tam est probi atque prudentis laudatoris, quam stulti atque improbi adulatoris.” - “At vereor,” ait Paulus Aemilius, “ne eloquentiam eidem tribuendo, multo plus dederis quam ratio ac veritas ipsa largiatur. Nonne ut tu longe melius quam ego nosti, Marcus Antonius orator in eo libello, quem unum sibi excidisse dicit, disertos scribit se vidisse multos, eloquentem omnino neminem? 551 Quod, si neque ipse sibi neque Lucius Crassus eloquens videbatur, 552 ille visus esset quem laudasti? ” - “At non sum ego,” inquit Aridus, “ille asper et durus, ut eloquens nihil esse 551 Cic. Orat. V.18: “Itaque M. Antonius, cui vel primas eloquentiae patrum nostrorum tribuebat aetas, vir natura peracutus et prudens, in eo libro quem unum reliquit disertos ait se vidisse multos, eloquentem omnino neminem.” A similar statement is expressed by the character Marcus Antonius in Cic. De or. I.XXI.94: “scripsi etiam illud quodam in libello, qui me imprudente et invito excidit, et pervenit in manus hominum, disertos me cognosse nonnullos, eloquentem adhuc neminem.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 2. 552 Cic. Orat. V.19: “Quodsi ille nec se nec L. Crassum eloquentem putavit.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 2. 3 4 <?page no="498"?> Book Ten 499 But Paulus Aemilius recognized, from his eyes and face, that Aridus was a bit perturbed and agitated, and he said, “At the risk of being too forward, may I ask what’s wrong? Why have you changed color? I’m not sure why, but you seem anxious to me.” To which Aridus replied, “I feel a bit queasy because of the response a certain man gave me that seemed truly arrogant. This man had given me a book to read that he had published. I read it, even though I was stretched thin with much important business. I ran into him just now, and he asked me my opinion about it. I told him the truth, that the book seemed to me to have been written in an elegant and learned manner. The man furrows his brow, shakes his head, and tells me he’s angry with me. I ask him why. He responds that I had praised him sparingly, indeed, far less than was warranted. That patently puffed-up and prideful man was waiting for me to turn pale, weep, and cry out, saying, ‘This man could not have done better! He has surpassed the glory not only of his own time, but of every era that came before! ’ Because I didn’t do that, he perhaps chalked it up to my being jealous, or offended, that I hated to confer praise on another. Shaken and with nothing else to add, I left that arrogant man to his stupidity, and I hurried over here to visit Gallonius and open up to him about what’s upsetting me. I then said, “I believe he had no reason to become so agitated at your response. Indeed, he couldn’t possibly have received more abundant or copious praise from you. What greater praise could an orator expect from a man who is frank and a keen judge of his skill other than to laud his erudition and eloquence? In this case an excessive departure, so to speak, from the truth, or hyperbole, is not so much the mark of an ethical or prudent eulogist as it is of a foolish and shameless sycophant.” Paulus Aemilius said, “I fear that in attributing eloquence to him you may have granted him much more than reason or truth itself might bestow. As you know far better than I, didn’t the orator Marcus Antonius write in that brief work (which was the only one he said he had produced) that he had seen many accomplished speakers, but absolutely none of them eloquent? 191 But if he considered neither himself nor Lucius Crassus to be eloquent, should that man, whom you praised, have been considered so? ” Aridus replied, “But I am not so severe and harsh as to think that nothing is eloquent unless it is wrapped in that perfect and polished ideal of eloquence. Instead, I think that the term can be extended to also encompass those in whom at least some, if not all, oratorical 191 Marcus Antonius (143 BCE-87 CE), grandfather of the general and triumvir Mark Antony, was one of the most highly regarded orators of his time. He was immortalized by his student Cicero as one of the main characters (along with Lucius Licinius Crassus [140-91 BCE]) in his De oratore. 3 4 <?page no="499"?> 500 Eudemia in Ten Books putem, nisi quod in illam perfectam et exactam eloquentiae formam includatur. Verum ad eos etiam detorqueri id nomen posse existimo, in quibus, si non omnes, aliquot saltem oratoriae virtutes eniteant. Hactenus laudare humanum atque etiam laudabile arbitror; ceterum divinitatis aliisque inanissimis titulis afficere ea, quae ferri tolerarique vix possunt, insani vel nihil plane intellegentis esse, fateri compellor.” “At non video,” excepit Aemilius, “quid haec immodica atque altius quam par est exaggerata laudatio iis, qui ornantur, utilitatis apportet. Immo, ut experientia docuit, multis saepe obfuit plurimum. Etenim nulla res alia ita properantis cursum ad eloquentiae palmam sistit ac retinet, ut haec vitiosa et inutilis laudatio, cui vix fieri potest quin ille, qui sic inflatur, assensionem praebeat suam. Quid ergo? Continuo studium remittet, laborem imminuet, neque aliud ultra esse putabit, quo progredi possit. Si quis, dum acriter in cursu versatur, a corona spectantium exaudiat, ‘Vicisti! Ad calcem pervenisti! ’ Quid ille agat, praesertim si sit loci quo sit decurrendum ignarus? Nonne cursum supprimat, gradum sistat? Nonne secum ita loquatur, ‘Cur ego laborem inanem sumo? Cur meos rumpo ramices, decurso iam spatio? ’ Ita etiam, qui in hoc quasi curriculo eloquentiae doctrinaeque versantur, si crebris acclamantium vocibus excipiantur, summos eos artifices et magistros deosque vocantium, periculum est ne decepti studium remittant, industriam imminuant ac desistant ante decursum.” “Similis,” ego subicio, “incommodi ratio obstitit atque adversata est Hortensio, summo oratori ac palmae iam proximo. Erat in Hortensio admirabilis ingenii facultas; sermo, cum concitatus ac vibrans, tum concinnus atque facetus; sententiae dulces atque venustae. Illud acre ac severum, nec tam fuco puerili illitum quam veritatis colore aspersum 553 dicendi genus aberat. Verum quia illa dicendi ratio concinna atque venusta populari erat assensioni in primis accomodata, fiebat ut clamores et admirationes efficeret. Quo vulgi iudicio captus, tanquam si non esset aliquid maturius et (ut ita dicam) senius, 554 quo prima illa veluti eloquentiae aetas pervenire posset, studium et exercitationem, quae sunt pabulum eloquentiae, remisit seque eo deduxit, ut qui diu princeps oratorum, aliquando aemulus Ciceronis, existimatus sit demum, quoad vixerit, eidem ac multis aliis 553 asperum 1645. Mark T. Riley suggests the emendation to aspersum. Cic. De or. III.LII.199: “non fuco illitus … color.” 554 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 3) refers to Cic. De or. III.XXXVIII.154 where Cicero lists some coined expressions, such as senius desertus. 5 6 <?page no="500"?> Book Ten 501 qualities shine. I believe that giving praise is humane and even laudable, up to a point; but beyond that I feel compelled to admit that characterizing those things with the label ‘divine,’ or with any other inane labels, which can barely be endured or tolerated, is the mark of a madman, or one who clearly doesn’t understand anything.” Aemilius followed up, “Frankly, I don’t see how this sort of excessive and exaggerated praise, which is higher than warranted, is useful to those who are being showered with it. On the contrary, as experience has taught us, it has often done a lot of harm to many people. Indeed, nothing else halts or delays a swift path to achieving first place in eloquence as much as unwarranted and pointless praise; and it is almost impossible for the person being praised not to agree with it! And what happens then? He will immediately ease up on his studies, he will decrease his effort, and he will think that nothing more is required for him to progress. If someone is eagerly competing in a race and hears someone from the crowd of spectators say, ‘You’ve won! You’ve reached the finish line! ’ What’s he supposed to do, especially if he’s not familiar with the racecourse? Does he not stop running and stand still? Does he not say to himself, ‘Why am I undertaking useless effort? Why am I busting my lungs when the race is already over? ’ Similarly, if those who are participating in the race, so to speak, of eloquence and learning are greeted with many people’s voices praising them and calling them highly skilled masters and gods, there is a danger they’ll be led astray and ease up on their commitment, decrease their diligence, and stop running before the race is finished.” I then added, “A similar sort of problem hindered and proved an obstacle for Hortensius, 192 who was a great orator, very nearly the best. Hortensius possessed an admirable talent; his speech was energetic and vibrant, as well as clever and witty, and his phrases were elegant and graceful. Absent was that style of speaking that is harsh and severe, and not so much coated in a childish veneer as tinged with the hue of truth. Naturally, because that clever and witty method of speaking was especially suited to popular approval, it ended up garnering applause and admiration. Caught up in the opinion of the crowd, as if something more mature and, as it were, more seasoned didn’t exist than youthful eloquence was able to attain, Hortensius eased up on his study and practice, which are the food of eloquence. He retreated to the point where, while he had, for a long time, been the chief of orators and was once considered a rival of Cicero, for the remainder of his life he proved inferior to Cicero and to many 192 Quintus Hortensius Hortalus (114-50 BCE). 5 6 <?page no="501"?> 502 Eudemia in Ten Books inferior extiterit. 555 Ut satis appareat quantum ad enecandam crescentis eloquentiae vim valeat haec tam praepropera ac festinata laudatio.” “Ut vos dii omnes deaeque adiuvent! ” inquit Aridus. “Aspersistis aquam 556 ; quemnam invenire potuissem, qui melius medicinam faceret? Ita vestris sententiis omnem mihi ab animo aegritudinem depulistis. Iam vero quis modus laudandi iis placuerit, qui sic laudari consueverunt? Nullus opinor. Nulla laudis satietas satis est iis, quibus nullus ambitionis satis est modus; et qui vana sui opinione inflantur, novis semper titulis inhiant. Volunt divini, caelestes appellari; atque haec etiam apud eos vocabula obsolescent. Nimis unumquemque natura sui ipsius suarumque rerum amatorem effinxit. Utinam parcius hac in re sese gessisset, neque tantam indidisset in animos hominum cupiditatem laudis et gloriae! Ab hoc fonte prodeunt simultates amicitiaeque, quae cum litteratulis suscipiuntur, prout eos quisque parcius vel liberalius laudaverit. Quamobrem multi, ne in has difficultates incidant, simul atque isti suas ineptias recitare coeperunt, simulato aliquo morbo discedunt. Atque ut de aliis taceam: quoties ego, causatus laterum vel capitis dolorem, porrectum ad istorum nugas iugulum extraxi! ” “Linquamus haec,” inquit Paulus Aemilius. “Statuas, statuas, si diis placet, litteratorum sibi hominum quaesivit insania. Homines segnes ac tenues, faciendae poliendaeque orationis artifices, non puduit summorum imperatorum praemia ob res bene gestas invadere. Leontinus Gorgias tantum sibi honorem est passus haberi a Graecia, soli ut ex omnibus Delphis non inaurata statua, sed aurea statueretur. At quod ob meritum, dii boni? Quia circulatorum more ausus est in conventu poscere, qua de re quisque vellet audire. 557 Isocrati Olympia, Demostheni Athenae statuas dedere; quem honorem ne Miltiadi quidem decreverant, qui parva manu decemplicem hostium numerum fuderat ac prope deleverat, neque 555 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 4) refers to Cic. Brut. XCV.325-7, where Rossi draws much of his basis for his criticism of Hortensius (though I would say he draws the language and themes for this passage beginning earlier at Brut. XCIII.320). While Cicero greatly admired Quintus Hortensius Hortalus, he allowed some criticism of him as a teachable moment in Brutus. For example, Cicero says that, while Hortensius perfected graceful and pleasant phrasing (“venustae dulcesque sententiae”), his style was more suitable to a youthful speaker than to a mature one of a certain age (“adulescentiae magis concessum quam senectuti”). He also criticizes him for relaxing his ardor (“summum illud studium remisit”) and abandoning his enthusiasm and practice (“exercitationem studiumque dimiserat”). 556 Plaut. Truc. II.iv.366: “ah! aspersisti aquam.” 557 Cic. De or. III.XXXII.129: “[Leontinus Gorgias] isque princeps ex omnibus ausus est in conventu poscere qua de re quisque vellet audire; cui tantus honos habitus est a Graecia, soli ut ex omnibus Delphis non inaurata statua sed aurea statueretur.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 5. 7 8 <?page no="502"?> Book Ten 503 others. I hope it is clear enough to what extent premature and hurried praise serves to squelch the power of budding eloquence.” “May all the gods and goddesses preserve you! ” said Aridus. “You are a breath of fresh air. Who else could I have found to administer better medicine? Accordingly, you have driven out every affliction from my soul with your words. Truly now, what manner of praise could satisfy those who have become accustomed to being praised in this way? None, I should think. No amount of praise is sufficient for those who consider no measure of their ambition to be enough—and those who are inflated by a false opinion of themselves are always going in search of new honors. They want to be called gods and divine, yet these words become meaningless in their minds. Nature made each person far too fond of himself and his own interests. If only she had acted more sparingly in this regard and had not imbued men’s hearts with so much desire for praise and glory! This is the source both of rivalries and friendships, which are entered into by hacks in proportion to how sparingly or generously someone praises them. For this reason, in order not to find themselves in difficult situations, as soon as these types begin to recite their drivel, many people feign illness and leave. Speaking for myself, how often I have saved my neck, which was already stretched out, from their nonsense with the excuse of a backache or headache! ” Paulus Aemilius responded, “But never mind about that. The madness of literary men has sought to obtain statues for themselves—statues, for God’s sake! Slow and feeble men, skilled in creating and polishing speeches, were not ashamed to appropriate the rewards of the greatest emperors for their achievements. Gorgias of Leontini allowed Greece to confer such honor on him that a statue was erected at Delphi to him alone, out of everyone, that was not just gilt, but was actually made out of solid gold! But on what grounds, good gods? Because, like an entertainer, he dared to take requests at a gathering as to what each person wanted to hear? There are statues dedicated to Isocrates at Olympia and to Demosthenes at Athens, an honor not even bestowed on Militades, who routed a tenfold company of enemies with a small band of soldiers, almost destroying them. They granted him no other reward for such a great victory than that, when they painted the battle of Marathon in the colonnade they call the Poikile, 193 they placed his portrait first among the ten generals and depicted him exhorting his soldiers and engaging in battle. Clearly this wise citizenry, one not yet corrupted by lavish gifts, understood that it is the modest and rare honors that reflect glory, while extravagant and immoderate ones are odious and base.” Wondering at men’s arrogance, I asked, “Is there any point 193 Lit. “many-colored colonnade”; John C. Rolfe (1929: 19 n. 1) describes it as being “adorned with paintings by Polygnotus and other great artists.” 7 8 <?page no="503"?> 504 Eudemia in Ten Books aliam tantae victoriae mercedem tribuerant, nisi ut in porticu, quae Poecile vocatur, cum pugna pingeretur Marathonia, in decem praetorum numero prima eius imago poneretur idemque hortaretur milites proeliumque committeret. 558 Sapiens videlicet populus, ac nondum largitione corruptus, intellegebat tenues honores ac raros esse gloriosos, effusos et intemperantes, invidiosos ac turpes.” Hic ego hominum arrogantiam admirans, “Estne aliquid,” inquam, “ultra quo progredi istorum ambitio possit? ” - “Reperietur,” inquit Aridus, “Lucius Accius poëta, cum non essent qui statuam darent, ipse sibi, si diis placet, statuam faciendam statuendamque locavit. 559 Quid potuit facere elegantius homo cupidus monumentorum et laudis? Illud vero perridiculum quod, cum esset perpusillus ac brevis, peramplam sibi statuam excelsa in basi locavit. Sed quid demum inepti stulta ista atque impudenti laudis cupiditate praeter cachinnos irridentium extorquent? Rident homines cordati et intellegentes, cum audiunt ea sibi velle pro auro obtrudi, quae vix plumbi locum obtineant, immo quae innumeris prope vitiis abundent. At perinde illis accidit, ut quibusdam imperatoribus, quorum elogia in basi statuarum exscripta, risum et stomachum commovent. Quis enim risum teneat, cum legat eos in exemplum fortitudinis, continentiae virtutumque omnium posteris tradi, quorum imperitiae, inertiae, avaritiaeque vestigia ac prope cubilia ipsa cernantur? 560 Nec minus apte ridentur insulsae quorundam adulationes ea scripta ut ornata, pura ac dilucida admirantium, quibus nihil esse constat incomtius, obscurius inquinatiusque. Summa denique huc redit, ut nos in laudando non tam sequamur id quod iis qui laudantur placet, quam quod eorum utilitas ac veritas ipsa patiatur.” Tum ego, “Est quidem, Aride, quod maximas tibi gratias habeamus, quod huc veneris. Nam ante tuum adventum soliciti eramus, cuius potissimum libri lectione, quae prandium antecedant horae, consumerentur. Sed tua ista sive disputatio sive sermo fecit ut nihil libros desideraremus; omnibus enim libris fuit nobis longe iucundior.” - “Si quid hodie,” inquit Aridus, “a me datum est quod vobis profuit, mecastor mihi est volupe; sed (quod antea volui dicere ac sum 558 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 6) refers to Nep. Milt. I.6.3-4: “Namque huic Miltiadi, quia Athenas totamque Graeciam liberarat, talis honos tributus est: in porticu, quae Poecile vocatur, cum pugna depingeretur Marathonia, ut in decem praetorum numero prima eius imago poneretur isque hortaretur milites proeliumque committeret. Idem ille populus, postea quam maius imperium est nactus et largitione magistratuum corruptus est, trecentas statuas Demetrio Phalereo decrevit.” (IJsewijn does not include the last sentence (idem … decrevit) in his reference, although it is part of Rossi’s. 559 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 7) refers to Plin. HN. XXXIV.X.19: “notatum ab auctoribus et L. Accium poetam in Camenarum aede maxima forma statuam sibi posuisse, cum brevis admodum fuisset.” 560 Cic. Verr. II.II.LXXVII.190: “ut omnes mortales istius avaritiae non iam vestigia sed ipsa cubilia videre possint.” 9 <?page no="504"?> Book Ten 505 beyond which the ambition of these sorts of men was unable to go? ” Aridus replied, “The poet Lucius Accius 194 is an example. Since there was nobody to do it for him, he arranged on his own (I swear to God) for a statue of himself to be created and erected. What could a person have done more elegantly who was desirous of monuments and glory? But it was utterly ridiculous because, although he himself was very short and squat, he placed an enormous statue to himself on a tall base. In the end, what do these fools get out of this stupid and shameless lust for praise other than the jeers of people making fun of them? Sensible and intelligent men laugh when they hear that people want to force on them as gold what would hardly pass for lead, or rather, what is full of countless flaws. But the same thing happens to these writers as befalls certain emperors, when the words of praise carved into the base of their statues elicit laughter and annoyance. Who would be able to contain his laughter while reading about those emperors, who are passed down to posterity as examples of fortitude, restraint, and every virtue, when the evidence, nay the very wellspring of their ignorance, laziness, and greed is apparent? No less justifiably can we mock the absurd adulation of those who admire the writings of certain men as ornate, pure, and clear, when it is obvious that there is nothing more artless, obscure, and base. Lastly, this brings us back to the point that, in praising people, we must not follow what pleases those being praised, so much as what redounds to their benefit and upholds truth itself.” Then I said, “We should be very grateful that you came, Aridus. Before you arrived, we had been worried about which would be the best book to read to pass the hours before lunch. But this disputation, or speech, of yours made it so we didn’t need any books. Indeed, it was much more enjoyable for us than any of these tomes.” Aridus replied, “If I offered any benefit to you today, by God, I am delighted. But what I had wanted to say before, but forgot, is that I’d like to know what brought the two of you here.” We replied, “The reputation of the games that will once again be celebrated is what brought us, together with Gallonius, to this city by ship.” - “You acted very well and wisely,” he said. “All of the games are so delightful and charming that you will say you achieved something by coming here, and they will commence the day after tomorrow. On the day after tomorrow, and for almost eight days after that, the first contests that take place will be those involving either men or horses, who compete with each other for how fast they can run. They have already been training for their races for many days, both in open spaces and on straightaways. Other games 194 Lucius Accius (170-86 BCE). 9 <?page no="505"?> 506 Eudemia in Ten Books oblitus) velim scire quaenam causa vos huc attraxerit.” - “Celebritas ludorum, qui mox repetendi sunt,” diximus, “una cum Gallonio in hanc urbem navi vectos adduxit.” - “Factum est a vobis,” inquit Aridus, “pulchre atque sapienter. Ita sunt omnes lepidi atque venusti, ut dicturi sitis navasse operam, quod huc veneritis; ac perendie illis instaurandis initium fiet. Atque perendie, cum aliis fere octo proximis diebus, primo loco certamina eorum, sive hominum sive equorum, edentur, qui inter se cursus velocitate contendunt. Ac multos iam dies in propatulis locis atque directis sese ad cursuram exercent. Hos alii deinceps ludi consequentur. Hodie praemia victoribus proposita tota urbe circumferentur. Neque vobis spectandi gratia abeundum est longius, immo ne pedem quidem domo efferendum; quod poliarchus, qui paucis ab hinc diebus commigravit huc viciniae, cuiusque pater olim sutoriam ignobilem fecerat, mandavit ut sui honoris gratia haec ob suas aedes pompa ducatur.” Inter haec venit a Gallonio nuntius cum gerulo, qui sportas duas ab utraque parte aerumnae 561 appensas, optimorum eduliorum plenas ferebat. Ibi erant pernae, abdomen, sumen, suis glandium, 562 pulli gallinacei, tum assi tum elixi, 563 farcimina, molle caseum ac plura vini veteris oenophora. Hae dicebantur esse reliquiae, ex domini mensa collectae, quas nobis Gallonius mittebat, ut sine ipso prandium iniremus conficeremusque. Se enim cogi suo cum dynasta rus ire, quo arcuum, quos attulerat, iaculando periculum faceret. Nos obsoniis tam lepidis tamque opiparis aucti, rogare etiam atque etiam Aridum coepimus ut nobiscum rogum incenderet ac faceret illi prandio funus. Sed Aridus nulla condicione adduci poterat ut ad postulata nostra precesque descenderet. Tum ego paene rogando defessus, “Vide,” inquam, “Aride, quid agas. Tua enim culpa, nisi inducas animum manere, magna nobis pars eius voluptatis, ob quam haec est a nobis navigatio suscepta, praeripitur. Nunquam nobis alias contigit hos ludos aspicere. Plane sumus in huius civitatis moribus rudes atque hospites; nemo est qui docere possit quae sint illa praemia cuique cursorum generi singula designentur.” Aridus, hac oratione victus simulque metuens ne inurbani hominis notam subiret, in nostra potestate se fore totum asseruit. Ne multa: hilares accumbimus, prandemus ac confecto prandio surgimus, paulum quieti somnoque indulgemus. 561 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 8) refers to the word aerumnula in the TLL, which cites the grammarian Festus on a fragment of Plautus: “Aerumnulas Plautus refert furcillas, quibus religatas sarcinas viatores gerebant.” From this definition aerumna seems to be a stick similar to what an itinerant traveler might tie a kerchief or bindle to. 562 Plaut. Curc. II.iii.323: “pernam, abdomen, sumen, suis, glandium.” 563 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 9) refers to Plaut. Mostell. V.i.1115: “Nam elixus esse quam assus soleo suavior.” 10 <?page no="506"?> Book Ten 507 follow after these ones. The prizes that are awarded to the winners will be paraded around the whole city today. And you won’t have to go far to see them. As a matter of fact, you won’t even have to set foot outside this house, because the poliarch who moved into this neighborhood just a few days ago—and whose father had once been a lowly shoemaker—ordered the parade to go past his house in his own honor.” In the meantime, a messenger had come from Gallonius, together with a porter who was carrying two baskets, hanging from each side of a forked stick, that were full of the most delicious food. There was ham, pork belly, sow’s udder, sweetbreads, chicken—both roasted and boiled—sausages, soft cheese, and many jugs of aged wine. These were said to be the leftovers, collected from his master’s table, that Gallonius was sending over to us so we could begin and finish eating lunch without him. He said he was being forced to go to the countryside with his dynast, so he could try shooting the bows that Gallonius had brought him. Fortified by that delightful and sumptuous meal, we started asking Aridus repeatedly to light a pyre with us and hold a funeral for our lunch. But under no circumstances could Aridus be persuaded to cede to our demands and requests. Almost worn out from begging, I said, “Watch out, Aridus. If you don’t decide to stay, it will be your fault if our greatest wish, and the reason why we undertook this sea voyage, is taken away from us. We won’t have the chance to see these games anywhere else. We are clearly uncultured in, and strangers to, the customs of this city. There is no one who can teach us which prizes are assigned to each category of contestant.” Won over by our speech, and at the same time concerned about coming across as rude, Aridus affirmed that he was entirely at our disposal. Without further ado, we happily reclined at the table to eat lunch. When lunch was over, we got up and yielded for a spell to peaceful sleep. 10 <?page no="507"?> 508 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed aliquanto post, cum iam vergeret in vesperum dies, excitamur ad strepitum turbae, quae fiebat in via, et continuo una cum Arido ad fenestram accurrimus ac plures personis indutos hac illac bacchantes aspicimus; quorum aliqui vultu, habitu atque sermone baiulos, alii pistores, alii rusticanos, alii coquos, alii doctores imitabantur. Hos tum pueri, tum grandiores clamoribus ac sibilis insectabantur. “Istis,” inquit Aridus, “hac libertate praebita ac personarum tanquam latibulis tectis quidvis licet impune in alios dicere; neque quisquam sibi factam iniuriam queri potest, neque iis unquam ob hanc causam iniuriarum dicam impingere.” Vix horae unius spatium interiectum est ab hoc sermone, cum vecti sunt plaustro saltatores ad decem, varia veste induti, qui ut a poliarcho gratiam inirent, plaustrum sistunt et in tabulato, quod in medio eius affabre erat instructum et tapetiis conchyliatis constratum, ad fidium tibiarumque cantum lepidam saltationem iniere, eamque variis atque venustis motuum generibus distinctam fere ad vesperam usque pertraxere. Saltatione transacta plaustroque e conspectu sublato, magnus tubarum clangor auditur. Statim oculos in eam partem convertimus, unde sonus ille in nostras aures videbatur influere. Atque in summa via tubicines, ad summum sex, purpura auroque vestitos et in equis sedentes aspicimus. Hos pistes undecim (hi sunt circumpedes poliarchorum, ut diximus) sequebantur, singula singuli hastilia deferentes, per quae varii generis et coloris cuspidibus eorundem affixae, vestes dependebant. Et quoniam earum vestium mensura multo hastilium proceritatem excedebat (nam senis vel octonis singulae ulnis 564 in longitudinem patebant), quod erat reliquum ne traheretur, pistium manibus collectum excipiebatur. 564 ulna: a unit of measurement that is equivalent to an ell, which is 1.14 meters or 1.25 yards. 11 <?page no="508"?> Book Ten 509 A short while later, as the day was already heading towards evening, we were roused by the noise of a crowd of people in the street, and we immediately ran with Aridus to the window to see many people dressed up in costume and carousing everywhere. With their masks and their costumes, some of them were imitating porters, some bakers, some country bumpkins, some cooks, and some teachers. The first ones to follow them shouting and whistling were children, and then adolescents. Aridus said, “These people are permitted to say anything they like to others, with impunity, because they are granted this license and because they are concealed behind their masks, as if in a refuge. And nobody can complain about an injury done to him or sue them for assault for this same reason.” 195 Hardly an hour passed after this explanation, when around ten dancers were carried in on a float dressed in colorful costumes. In order to get into the good graces of the poliarch, the dancers brought the float to a stop and began performing a delightful dance, to the music of lyres and flutes, on a platform that had been skillfully constructed in the center of the float and covered in purple rugs. They carried out this dance, performed with many varied and beautiful styles of movement, until it was almost evening. When the dance was finished, and the float had moved out of sight, we heard a great blare of trumpets. Our eyes were immediately drawn in the direction where the sound we were hearing seemed to be coming from. At the top of the street 196 we saw trumpeters, six at most, dressed in purple and gold and sitting on horseback. Following them were eleven pistes (which is what, as we said earlier, the poliarchs’ servants are called), each one carrying spears from which cloaks of various styles and various colors were hanging, affixed to their points. 197 Since the length of the garments greatly exceeded the length of the spears—each one stretching out to six or eight ulnas—the pistes were gathering up the excess cloth in their hands so it wouldn’t drag on the ground. 195 Carnival is the period of public celebration, consisting of processions, games, music, dancing, and the use of masquerade, that takes place during the week preceding Lent. The Carnival tradition allowed for a temporary suspension of societal rules and norms, including conferring the ability to mock those in positions of authority. 196 The races described in this passage were run along the Via del Corso (then called the Via Lata), starting at Piazza del Popolo and ending at Piazza Venezia. The house where the travelers are staying is in the Via del Corso. 197 There were eleven prizes, one for each of the eleven races. The prize contestants competed for was a pallium, a cloak that was hung over the shoulders of the victor. Freedberg (1992: 55) describes the ritual: “on the Saturday before carnival, the pallia subsidized by the Jews were carried around in a solemn procession … First, they were carried to the Pope … then to the Conservatores, and finally to the individual members of the Pope’s family, in other words, to the well-known nipoti.” 11 <?page no="509"?> 510 Eudemia in Ten Books “Atque haec,” inquit Aridus, “sunt illa praemia, pro quibus cursura depugnandum est. Viden’ illud primum ex lanea veste purpureum? Pro eo Apochichiri curriculo current, quam maxime possint, ut vincant. Sunt autem Apochichiri genus hominum religione a nobis dissidentium, sed callidum, versutum, fraudulentum, sacrilegum, periurum. Iis palmarium est aliquem ex nobis in fraudem illicere; et quo die id illis contigit minus, se diem perdidisse conqueruntur. Eorum opera in mercatura vertitur, sed levium ac tenuissimarum rerum; videlicet sulphurata permutant vitro, 565 detrita vestimenta coemunt atque adeo sarciunt lepideque concinnant, ut non eadem esse dicas. Ita ignorantur. Quamobrem, si cui ex nobis pro novis possint obtrudere, non dimittunt tempus, sed foro (ut aiunt) utuntur Praeterea, pignoribus acceptis, argentum faenori tradunt. Sed nobis sunt vectigales ac sumtibus, qui in his praemiis fiunt, res eorum magna ex parte suppeditat. Videtisne illud alterum lutei coloris, ex serico ac tenui aurea lamina textum? Id dandum est equo, vel equae, quae socias in cursu praeterierit. Hoc aliis praemium paucis ante annis accessit (nam antea decem tantum numerabantur) ob insignem additam huic imperio provinciam. Illud damascenae vestis viride pueros, illud autem luteum iuvenes ad laudis gloriaeque certamen accendit. Ac ne qua aetas praeterita esse videatur, illa senum, spectata satis donataque iam rude virtus, ea, quam quinto loco praeferri videtis, lanea sed cocco imbuta veste revocatur in cursum. Sextam holoserici villosi ac purpurei vestem victor equus accipiet. Alteram, ex numero praemiorum septimam, holoserici item villosi vestem, sed violaceam, equa auferet quae prior metam attigerit.” Sequebatur preciosius ceteris praemium, Attalica nimirum vestis, nobilium animalium pelliculis subsuta, cuius ego splendore ac pulchritudine captus, “Cedo,” inquam, “Aride, cuinam haec tam insignis palma proponitur? ” - “Illi,” ait, “Barbaro equo, qui victor eorum, qui usque ex Barbaria huc ad ludos confluxerunt, praeconis voce citabitur.” Tum ego, “Pape,” inquam, “quanta vis praemii! Profecto equi dominum laborum, quos itineris causa suscepit, non poenitebit. Sed illud album, ex serico ac tenui argenti lamina conflatum, quosnam vocat in cursum? ” - “Equas,” ait, “equosque tum nostros, tum Barbaros; nam mistim current.” - “Quid illa,” inquam, “vestis lanea atque caerulea, cuinam decernitur? ” - “Asinorum velocissimo.” - “Quid audio? ” inquit Paulus Aemilius. “Etiamne asini in hoc certamen vocantur? Nimium quidem hos ludos spectare velim.” - “At ne mireris,” subdit Aridus, “bubalis quoque sua praemia servantur. Nam lanea 565 sulphurata: sulphur-tipped bits of wood, that is, matchsticks; Mart. I.41.3-5: “Transtiberinus ambulator / qui pallentia sulphurata fractis / permutat vitreis” and Juv. 5.47-8: “ac iam quassatum et rupto poscentem sulpura vitro.” Martial’s poem is not referring to a Jewish peddler but to a generic one hustling in Trastevere, the neighborhood across the Tiber. 12 <?page no="510"?> Book Ten 511 “And those are the prizes the racers will compete for,” said Aridus. “Do you see that first purple cloak made out of woolen cloth? The Apochichiri 198 run at full speed, as fast as they can, to win that one. Apochichiri are a race of men who belong to a religion very different from ours, but they are crafty, wily, dishonest, sacrilegious, and false. For them, the greatest accomplishment is to defraud one of us, and they complain that any day in which that does not occur is a wasted one. Their work is in the commercial sector, but in the most trivial and menial activities, namely they exchange matchsticks for glass, and they buy used clothing, which they restore and repair so well that you wouldn’t think they were the same clothes, they are that unrecognizable. 199 For this reason, if they’re able to foist them onto one of us as new, they don’t waste any time, but they move their merchandise, so to speak. Moreover, they accept securities and loan out money at interest. But they pay taxes to us, and their profits cover most of the cost of these prizes. 200 Do you see that second yellow cloak made out of silk and woven through with fine gold thread? That one will be awarded to the horse, or mare, that overtakes its fellow mares in the race. This prize was added to the others a few years ago (before that, there were only ten prizes) on account of an important new province that was added to our empire. That green one, made of damask cloth, motivates children, and that yellow one young men, to compete 198 Jews. See also Eud. 1998, X n. 11. Giachino (2002: 208) traces the derivation of this pseudonym to the Greek verb ἀποκίκω (to dash to the ground). For more information about the Jewish races, see Freedberg 1992. 199 The former is a reference to the activity of exchanging sulphur-tipped matchsticks for broken glass, which was used to make new glass (for more information about the practice of exchanging matches for glass, see Leon [1941: 233]). The latter is a reference to the Roman Jews as second-hand cloth merchants, a trade to which they were relegated after Pope Paul IV, with his 1555 decree Cum nimis absurdum, severely curtailed their physical and commercial movements in the city (Aron-Beller 2019: 235-6). Rossi’s reference to these unsavory trades adds to his anti-Semitic description of this group of people. 200 The prizes awarded in these Carnival races were entirely subsidized by special taxes on the Jewish community in the amount of 1,130 golden florins annually (Freedberg 1992: 53; Encyclopedia Britannica 1876, vol. 5: 123). The Jewish race was the first in a series of races introduced in 1466 by Pope Paul II, who increased the number of races from three to six (not including those of the riderless Berber horses) and moved them from Monte Testaccio to the Via Lata (i.e., Via del Corso). The Statuti di Roma from 1469 reflect these changes and describe the prizes (bravia) for the six races: “unum [bravium] pro Iudeis currentibus die lunae ante dominicam carnisprivi, aliud pro pueris cristianis [die] martis, aliud pro iuvenibus cristianis die mercurii sequenti, aliud pro antiquis sexagenariis die veneris, aliud pro asinis die lunae carnisprivi, alius pro bufalis die mercurii carnisprivi” (quoted in Zippel 1904: 115). These races were still going on almost two hundred years later in Rossi’s time as described by a visiting Englishman, John Evelyn, in an entry in his diary from 1645, where he describes “the most remarkable races” being the “three races of Barbary horses that run in the Strada del Corso without riders … then of mares, then of asses, of buffaloes, naked men, old and young, and boys” (Evelyn and Dobson 1908: 105). 12 <?page no="511"?> 512 Eudemia in Ten Books illa vestis atque coccinea, quae postremum inter praemia locum ac numerum obtinet, bubalo dabitur qui datum sibi spatium prior ceteris decucurrerit.” Sed postquam spectando satis oculos pavimus atque animum saturavimus, ecce tibi redit a rure Gallonius, fessus, anhelans ac plenus pulveris atque sudoris, mala multa aucupibus quot sunt, quot fuere quotque futuri sunt 566 ingerens. At ubi Aridum aspexit, vocem continuit atque iram omnem in tranquillo constituit. Ac post mutuas salutationes et complexus demum Aridus, magnas nobis gratias agens de prandio quod sibi dederamus, abscessit. At Gallonius, qui mane, quo dynastae sui imperiis obsequens esset paene ieiunus in agrum cum eo secesserat, sibi mensam parari mandavit; in quam magna ex parte eae reliquiae sunt illatae, quas nobis deferendas tradendasque curaverat. Non enim ita multum illis nocueramus, tum decem illae avidis famelicisque pransoribus satis superque fuissent. Sed postquam quiete atque epulis est illi lassitudo famesque depulsa, in caelum intuens, “Magnas vobis, dii immortales, gratias ago habeoque, quod vestra praesertim ope auxilioque dynastae meo factum sit satis, grataque fuerint quae fecerim omnia. Quivis enim eorum arcuum lepide illi succedit sub 566 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 12) refers to Verg. G. IV.392-3: “Novit namque omnia vates, / quae sint, quae fuerint, quae mox ventura trahantur.” 13 <?page no="512"?> Book Ten 513 for praise and glory. And lest it seem that any age group is left out, that dyed-red woolen garment you see shown there in fifth place calls the strength of old men, which has been sufficiently tested and long since retired, back onto the field. The winning horse will receive that sixth garment made of purple velvet. The other garment, also made of velvet but which is violet in color, is the seventh one of the prizes, and it will be claimed by the first mare to cross the finish line.” Following these was a reward more valuable than the others, truly a garment worthy of Attalus, which was trimmed with the fur of rare animals. Struck by its splendor and beauty, I exclaimed, “Tell me, Aridus, who is that outstanding prize for? ” - “It will go to the Berber horse who, after being called out of the gate by the voice of the herald, emerges victorious out of all of the horses who came here from the Barbary Coast to compete in the races.” 201 Then I said, “Goodness, that’s quite an important prize! The owner of that horse will certainly not regret the effort he undertook for this journey. But that white cloak, the one made of silk and gleaming with thin silver thread, who is motivated to race by that one? ” Aridus replied, “Both mares and stallions, both ours and the Berber horses, all race together.” I responded, “How about that blue woolen garment there, who is that meant for? ” - “For the fastest donkey.” - “What now? ” said Paulus Aemilius. “Are donkeys tapped to race as well? I would very much like to see these games! ” Aridus responded, “Don’t be surprised but there are prizes reserved for buffaloes too. That red woolen garment, which holds the last place and rank among the prizes, will be awarded to the buffalo that outruns all the others on the established racecourse.” After we had sufficiently feasted our eyes on this spectacle and had sated our spirits, here comes Gallonius back from the country, tired, breathless, covered in dust and sweat, and heaping many curses on all the bird hunters who are, ever have been, and as many as will be in the future. But as soon as he saw Aridus, he fell silent and resolved all of his anger into calm. After they had greeted and hugged each other, Aridus finally thanked us profusely for the lunch we had offered him, and he left. Since Gallonius had set out for the country early that morning, practically without eating, in order to obey his dynast’s orders, he had a table set for himself, to which most of the leftovers were brought that he had arranged to be sent over and served to us. We hadn’t made that much of a dent in them, and in any case there would have been more than enough for ten eager and hungry lunch guests. After his weariness and hunger had been allayed by rest and food, Gallonius looked up at the sky and said, “Immortal Gods, I am very grateful to you because, largely on account of your aid and help, my 201 One of the events during the Roman Carnival games was a race of riderless Berber horses, which were known for their stamina and speed. 13 <?page no="513"?> 514 Eudemia in Ten Books manus. At quid vos? ” subdidit. “Numne praemia ludorum, qui dandi sunt, oculis accepistis? ” - “Optime,” inquam, “vidimus; ac nisi Aridus affuisset, qui nos sigillatim de unaquaque re docuit, magna parte voluptatis privati essemus. Sed deorum munere factum existimo ut, cum tu abesses, ille veniret seque quodammodo tui vicarium muneris constitueret.” - “Si quid,” inquit Gallonius, “per Aridum bene vobis evenit, gaudeo eique gratias habeo. Sed futurum est posthac ut nihil auxiliaria cuiusquam opera indigeatis. Ipse vobis ero rei uniuscuiusque demonstrator atque interpres, neque uspiam a latere vestro discedam. Sed in praesenti cubitum eamus censeo ac languida maris agitatione membra quieti soporique tradamus.” Ut fessos nos lectus excepit, confestim somnus occupavit arcteque constrinxit; neque prius absolvit quam mediam circiter noctem suavissimis psallentium vocibus pulsus est cantuque symphoniae. Nos rati, ita ut erat, eum e via cantum venire, e lecto desilimus, subuculam et thoracem raptim accipimus, induimus, fenestram aperimus unde erat despectus in viam, ac plaustrum videmus formosissima referens Tempe. Etenim nemora, ambulacra, pomaria, signa, pergulae instar fornicum, dependentibus uvis onustae, in tela ante plaustri tabulatum obtenta, eo erant artificio depictae, ut maioribus semper fornicibus minores succedentes ac demum in unum angulum exeuntes, protractos in immensam fere longitudinem hortos, oculis grato errore, subicerent. Et quod erat longe mirabile: pictae res illae, ab incluso intus igne illuminatae, tantum leporis pulchritudinisque ducebant, ut non eas subsidere, sed exstare ac prominere iurares; tantumque exinde luminis expressum coloribus caelum attrahebat, ut non aliena vi, sed suis opibus meridiana luce clarius elucescere affirmares. Locus ante scenam ad saltandum relictus, amoenissimo cuidam prato simillimus, omni herbarum genere nitens, omni florum varietate distinctus, ver lepidissimum imitari videbatur. Albebant ibi ligustra; variis sese coloribus violae induebant; suos lilia calathos expandebant; sibimet ipsi narcissus hiabat; suam amaranthi purpuram nulla temporis iniuria deficientem ostentabant; narcissi suorum inscripta regum nomina praeferebant 567 ; plures ac plenas odoris linguas crocus exerebat; at prae ceteris rosa, virgineas imitata genas, sua late folia diffundebat. 567 Verg. Ecl. III.106-7: “Dic, quibus in terris inscripti nomina regum / nascantur flores, et Phyllida solus habeto.” 14 <?page no="514"?> Book Ten 515 dynast is satisfied and appreciative of everything I did. Every one of those bows performed nicely in his hands. And what about the two of you? ” he continued. “Did you get to see with your own eyes the prizes that are awarded during the games? ” - “We had a great view of them,” I said. “And if Aridus hadn’t been here to explain every detail to us, one by one, we would have missed out on most of the fun. But I figure it must have been a gift from the gods that he came while you were away; and that, in a certain sense, he appointed himself a substitute for your host duties.” - “If things worked out for you because of Aridus,” Gallonius said, “I’m happy and grateful to him. But from now on, you won’t need anyone’s auxiliary aid. I myself will be your guide and interpreter for every single thing, and at no point will I ever leave your side. But right now, I think we should go to bed and give our bodies, which are worn out from the motion of the sea, over to peacefulness and sleep.” As soon as our weary bodies touched the bed, sleep immediately overcame us and held us tightly, and it did not release us until around midnight, when it was driven away by the sweetest sounds of people playing stringed instruments and singing in a choir. Thinking, correctly, that the singing was coming from the street, we leapt out of bed, quickly grabbed our undergarments and vests, dressed, and opened the window that looked down onto the street below, where we saw a float representing the beautiful valley of Tempe. Indeed, woodlands, paths, orchards, statues, and pergolas in the form of arches, and weighted down with hanging grapevines, were depicted on a canvas, which was stretched across the front of the float’s base, so artfully that the smaller arches, following the larger arches one behind the other, until finally disappearing to a single point, created the illusion, by way of a pleasing trompe l’oeil, 202 that the gardens were stretching out to an almost boundless expanse. Truly astonishing was that those painted objects were illuminated by a lamp that was enclosed within the canvas, producing such charm and beauty that you would swear they were not just lying there flat, but were projecting and extending out toward you. Furthermore, the sky, which had been depicted with colorful paint, attracted so much light that you would have said it was shining brighter than the noonday sun, and not from any external force but from its own energy. An area that looked much like a lovely meadow was left free in front of this backdrop for dancing. Gleaming with many kinds of grasses and adorned with every varietal of flower, the scenery seemed to recreate the pleasant season of spring: white privet was in bloom; violets donned various colors; lilies spread their calyxes; 202 The artistic technique of perspective where an illusion of three-dimensional depth and space is achieved on a two-dimensional surface by making objects that are closer to the viewer larger and objects in the distance smaller. 14 <?page no="515"?> 516 Eudemia in Ten Books In hoc igitur tam amoenum ac lepidum pratum, anteaquam nos ad fenestram accederemus, delapsa e caelo nubes ac bifariam conscissa, Apollinem cum cithara ac Venerem cum nymphis attulerat. Quae primum ad citharae cantum saltationi se dedere; tum coepere ita eleganter, ita concinne vocibus canere, ut non facile dixerim ullius unquam vocis sonum suavius meos in sensus influxisse. His peractis, eadem qua delatae fuerant nube exceptae abierant ab oculis. Ac eodem temporis momento elegans ille hortorum apparatus evanuit atque eorum loco successere rupes, valles ac nemora, unde nymphae ad duodecim, lepido vestitu ornatae, saltantes psallentesque prodierunt. Ex altera vero parte totidem satyri eruperunt, tenues et agrestes calamos inflantes. 568 Quos simul ac nymphae conspexere, metu perculsae conatae sunt ab illis se fuga subducere. Sed demissis ac supplicibus vocibus exoratae ne fugerent neu timore aliquo corriperentur (nullam enim eis vim ab ipsis instare, sed gaudia laeta, sed festivissimas voluptates; nam venire ut laetas secum choreas iungerent), tum illae, timore depulso, sistunt fugam, animos sumunt, dant manus; quibus lepido inter se nexu coniuncti ad numerum in gyrum eunt ac varios atque multiplices repetunt flexus. Sed postquam saltationi satis est datum, illi rursus calamos inflant; ad quorum cantum hilaris nympharum chorus, tanquam satyris illudens, rudes quasdam et inconditas modulari cantiunculas coepit. Verum in medio cantu saevi illi et immanes, abiectis calamis ruptoque foedere, illas miseras adoriuntur, tenent, amplexibus illigant. Illae primo dentibus, manibus, cubitis, genibus niti se eorum amplexibus solvere, tum deorum atque hominum fidem implorare. Postremo, cum haec illis in irritum caderent, earum una flebili ac suavi voce deam ac dominam silvarum Dianam exorat, ne alumnis suis ac sociis extremo illo tempore desit, sed quavis ratione, quibus vita odio esset, suppetias afferat. Atque haec omnia ad fidium cantum, quae occulte latebant, agebantur. His dictis, rem miram vidisses: earum membra rigorem induere, corticis duritiem attrahere, digitos ac crines in ramos ac frondes abire, totas denique in arbores verti. 569 Tum satyri, rei novitate attoniti ac spe sua decepti, tristes et illusi ac 568 The language in this rustic scene recalls Verg. Ecl. I.2: “tenui … avena”; and I.10: “calamo … agresti.” 569 This description of Diana’s nymphs being transformed into trees is strongly reminiscent of Daphne’s transformation in Ovid’s telling of the myth of Apollo and Daphne in Met. I.548-52: “vix prece finita torpor gravis occupat artus, / mollia cinguntur tenui praecordia 15 <?page no="516"?> Book Ten 517 the narcissus flower gazed at itself; amaranths were showing off their purple hue, which never fades with the deleterious effects of passing time; the narcissus were bearing the inscribed names of their kings; and the crocus was sending forth its many fragrant stamens. But more than all the other flowers it was the rose that resembled the cheeks of virgins and spread its petals out wide. Before we came to the window, a cloud, which had descended from the sky and was split in two parts, carried Apollo with his cithara and Venus with her nymphs down onto this beautiful and lovely meadow. Venus and her nymphs first gave themselves over to dancing to the tune of Apollo’s cithara, and then they began to sing so elegantly and beautifully with their voices that I can’t easily say that the sound of anyone’s voice had ever flowed more sweetly into my senses. When they finished performing, they were carried away by the same cloud that had brought them there and disappeared from view. At that same moment, that elegant garden stage set vanished, and cliffs, valleys, and forests followed in its place, out of which entered around twelve nymphs who were dancing, plucking their instruments, and dressed in beautiful costumes. From the other side an equal number of satyrs entered, blowing into their thin, rustic reed pipes. As soon as the nymphs caught sight of the satyrs, they froze with fear and tried to run away from them. With submissive and pleading tones, the satyrs entreated them not to flee or give in to fear; that they were not pressing them with violence but with glad joy and festive delights, for they had come to join in their happy dance. The nymphs cast their fear aside, stopped fleeing, plucked up their courage, and held out their hands. Joined together, their hands delightfully intertwined, they moved in a circle to the rhythm and repeatedly performed various and sundry turns. When they had danced enough, the satyrs resumed playing their reed pipes, and the cheerful chorus of nymphs proceeded, as if flirting with the satyrs, to sing rustic and simple ditties to their tune. In the midst of their song, however, the fierce and frightful satyrs cast aside their reed pipes, broke their pact, attacked the poor nymphs, held them, and restrained them in their embrace. At first, the nymphs attempted, with their teeth, hands, elbows, and knees, to free themselves from the satyrs’ embrace, and then they implored the good faith of gods and men. Finally, when these attempts proved useless, with a plaintive and sweet voice, one of them entreated Diana, goddess and mistress of the forest, not to abandon her disciples and companions at this crucial time, and that, in some way, she might bring them aid, because they could not bear to live. All of this was accompanied by lyres that were hidden out of sight. When the nymphs finished speaking, you could see a wondrous sight: their limbs became stiff, assuming the hardness of bark, their fingers and hair turned into branches and leafy boughs, until, finally, they were completely transformed into trees. The satyrs, astonished by the strangeness of what had 15 <?page no="517"?> 518 Eudemia in Ten Books flebile quiddam canentes, sese sylvis immersere. Plaustrum, cum nihil esset amplius quod spectari posset, alio cursum arripuit. Nos mirabiliter delectati lectum repetimus, redormimus, nec ante meridiem e lecto pedem efferimus. Quod Gallonii quidem factum est opera, nam nisi excitatum nos advenisset, in plures etiam horas somnum produxissemus. Qui clamans, “Imusne,” inquit, “pransum, annon? Ubi libet, licet ire accubitum. 570 Nam accuratum est prandium et, nisi properatis venire, corrumpitur.” Nos quota sit hora quaerimus. Ille iam iam meridiem ait appetere. At ignaviae nostrae pertaesos, nos e lecto praecipites agimus, vestes sumimus, induimus, ad mensam accurrimus, accumbimus, prandemus. A prandio nihil fuit antiquius quam oppidum totum perreptare. Etenim redundabat hilaritate et ioco. Nulla erat domus in qua aut non agitaretur convivium, aut convivales ludi non celebrarentur, aut mimi non darentur, aut saltem quae fidium vocumque cantibus non personaret. Ubi vero nox terras opacavit, pluribus urbis locis ignes ad laetitiam significandam incensi, binae vel ternae singulis fenestris lucernae, croceis, albis, roseis ac caeruleis velaminibus inclusae, et colorum varietate oculos pascebant, et circumfusas undique tenebras sua luce pellebant. At summa in primis voluptate igneus nos turbo (ut vocant) affecit. Etenim ex summo arcis fastigio ea [materia] 571 crepitantium ignium, crinitarum stellarum instar habentium, erumpens ita late sese diffudit, ut primum tota caeli regio igne concepto flagrare, tum ignium eorum materia, sua deorsum sponte tendente, evulsa ex suis sedibus sidera ruere atque in praeceps ferri viderentur. Sed dum tantarum rerum studio capti et ad ingentem admirationem traducti, stupentibus similes haeremus, Gallonius a quodam, qui ad spectaculum advenerat, invitatus est atque adeo attractus ad cenam. Nam cum saepius “Bene vocas,” dixisset, “iam gratia est,” tandem victus “Cum hac,” inquit, “condicione veniam, si sit futurus istis hospitibus meis locus, a quibus non possum esse seiunctus.” - “Quippeni? ” ait ille. “Etenim, ne sis nescius, ita largiter atque ample obsonavit meus coquus, ut quod obsonatum est, praeter eos quos invitavi, non modo duobus, sed pluribus etiam umbris futurum sit satis.” libro, / in frondem crines, in ramos bracchia crescunt, / pes modo tam velox pigris radicibus haeret, / ora cacumen habet: remanet nitor unus in illa.” 570 Plaut. Men. II.iii.368: “ubi lubet, ire licet accubitum.” 571 I kept IJsewijn’s (Eud. 1998) addition here, in parentheses, of the word materia since it helps with the meaning of this sentence. 16 <?page no="518"?> Book Ten 519 happened and thwarted in their hope, felt sad and deceived, and they played a sorrowful tune as they sank back into the forest. 203 When there was nothing more to offer the viewer, the float set off elsewhere. After we had been marvelously entertained, we returned to bed, went back to sleep, and we did not set foot out of bed again before noon. And even that was because of Gallonius since, had he not come to wake us up, we would have slept for many more hours. He yelled, “Are we going to lunch or not? We can go recline at the table whenever you like. Lunch is prepared, and it will spoil if you don’t hurry.” We ask him what time it is. He responds that it is already approaching noon. Appalled at our own laziness, we quickly get out of bed, grab our clothes, get dressed, run to the table, recline, and eat lunch. After lunch, we preferred nothing more than to crawl through the whole city, because it was resounding with joy and sport. Every single house was either hosting a banquet, celebrating festival games, putting on mimes, or was at least filled with the sound of lutes and singers. When night had shrouded the earth in darkness, fires were lit in many locations around the city as a sign of the festivities, and there were two or three lanterns in each window enclosed in yellow, white, red, and blue cloth. Our eyes feasted on this variety of colors that drove the surrounding shadows out in all directions with their light. But it was a flaming turbine, 204 as they call it, which delighted us the most. From the very top of an arch, [a substance] containing sputtering fire, which looked like comets, erupted and spread out so far and wide that, at first, the entire expanse of sky lit up as if it were on fire. And then the substance of the flames itself, traveling downward on its own, looked like stars that had been ripped from their firmament and were falling or being carried earthward. While we stood transfixed with excitement at such a sight, however, and were moved to an enormous sense of wonder and standing still as if dumbstruck, Gallonius received an invitation from someone who had come to watch the show, and he was practically being dragged off to dinner. Although Gallonius kept saying, “That is kind of you, but no thank you,” he was finally won over and said, “I will come on this condition, that there will be room for my guests, whom I can’t be separated from.” - “Sure, why not? ” the man replied. “And, in case you don’t know, my cook did such an abundant and ample shopping that what he bought will be enough not only for two extra guests, besides those whom I originally invited, but for many more.” 203 Rossi’s portrait in his Pinacotheca of the opera librettist Ottavio Rinuccini, who collaborated with the composers Jacopo Peri and Claudio Monteverdi, contains a similarly vivid description of beautifully elaborate scenography and special effects, including an account of trees transforming into maidens. 204 A Catherine wheel or pinwheel, a type of firework that rotates like a wheel while burning, producing a display of sparks and colored flame. 16 <?page no="519"?> 520 Eudemia in Ten Books Ne multa: promittimus, ad condictam horam accedimus, venimus in aedes, modicas quidem, sed in regium morem excultas, ibique exornatum ample magnificeque convivium offendimus. Et quoniam iam ceteri convivae convenerant, soleas deponimus, lectos inscendimus, accumbimus, cenam inimus, eo ciborum nidore, ut milvinam 572 suggereret, ea magnificentia sumptuque, ut (praesertim quia nullae ibi feminae aderant) non amicorum convivium, sed Herculanum sacrificium 573 referre videretur. Quae ciborum varietas, lautitia, magnificentia causa potissimum fuit, ut convivium in multam noctem protraheretur. Quo demum expleto, coeptum est ludis, iocis atque aliis animi remissionibus initium dari. Et primum rogatus est voce ad citharam canere quidam, qui ex ore, quod erat glabrum, puer videbatur. Hic erat eunuchus cantandi artificio magis ibi notus ac celebris quam ullus apud nos Tigellius aut Hermogenes 574 ; qui exilio patriam sedem commutaverat, metuens legum iudiciorumque severitatem, quod mulierem, cuius erat cupiens, per vim a viro abduxisset. At ubi eius suavitatem vocis aures nostrae admisere, parum abfuit quin animo linqueremur. Non enim alias tanta ex cuiusquam cantu voluptas in animum influxerat. Equidem Linum, Amphionem, Orpheum 575 neque doctius cantasse, neque acrius sensus hominum voluptate impulisse crediderim. Ita vocem modo molliter delicateque flectebat, modo graviter ac severe mittebat, modo eandem ab acutissimo usque ad gravissimum sonum recipiebat, et quasi quodammodo colligebat, ut non mortalem aliquem in illud convivium exceptum, sed unam ex illis beatissimis mentibus cantatum provocatam e caelo iurasses. Praesertim cum Virgilianos eos versus pronuntiabat, quibus Dido cum Aenea laesam ab eo fidem expostulat, 572 Plaut. Men. I.iii.212: “madida quae mi apposita in mensam milvinam suggerant.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 13. 573 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 14) refers to Plaut. Truc. II.vii.562: “Mihi detraxi partem Herculaneam,” as well as to his own note 16 to Liber VII that refers to the practice of tithing to Hercules. This reference here, however, is not to tithing but is instead to the practice of excluding women from sacrifices to Hercules, for example in Prop. IV.IX.67-70: “‘Maxima quae gregibus devotast Ara repertis, / ara per has’ inquit ‘maxima facta manus, / haec nullis umquam pateat veneranda puellis, / Herculis externi ne sit inulta sitis.’” 574 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 15) refers to Hor. Sat. I.II.3: “cantoris morte Tigelli”; ibid. I.III.129: “ut quamvis tacet Hermogenes cantor”; ibid. I.IV.71-2: “libellos / quis manus insudet vulgi Hermogenisque Tigelli”; ibid. I.IX.25: “Invideat quod et Hermogenes ego canto”; and ibid. I.X.80: “Fannius Hermogenis laedat conviva Tigelli.” 575 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 16) refers to Verg. Ecl. IV.55-6: “Non me carminibus vincet nec Thracius Orpheus / nec Linus” and Hor. Ars P. 392-5: “Orpheus, / dictus ob hoc lenire tigres rabidosque leones; / dictus et Amphion … / saxa movere sono testudines.” 17 <?page no="520"?> Book Ten 521 To make a long story short, we promised to go; we arrived at the agreed-upon hour; we entered a house that, albeit of modest size, was decorated in a regal manner; and we were met with a banquet that was amply and magnificently presented. Since the other dinner guests had already assembled, we took off our shoes, climbed up on the dining couches, reclined, and proceeded to eat. The aroma of the food was such that it brought on the ravenous appetite of a kite, and the magnificence and sumptuousness of the event seemed to reflect not a gathering of friends, but a sacrifice to Hercules, (especially because no women were present). The variety, splendor, and magnificence of the food were the main reason the banquet went on late into the night. When it finally came to an end, the entertainment commenced, and we began to play games, tell jokes, and enjoy other recreational activities. The first person to be called upon to sing, accompanied by a lute, appeared from the looks of him to be a young boy because he had no facial hair. This man was a castrato, 205 who was more famous and celebrated here on account of his singing skills than any Tigellius or Hermogenes was in our city. 206 He had left his hometown in exile fearing the severity of the laws and judges, because he had forcibly taken a woman he desired away from her husband. But when the sweetness of his voice reached our ears, we very nearly fainted. Nowhere else had such pleasure from anyone’s singing flowed into our hearts. I wouldn’t have thought that even Linus, Amphion, or Orpheus had either sung more skillfully or struck men’s senses more keenly with delight. At times he modulated his voice softly and delicately, at times he projected it deeply and soberly, and at times he brought his voice from a very high falsetto down into his deepest chest voice; and he brought it all together in such a way that you would have sworn it was no mortal man who had been invited to that banquet to sing, but a divine spirit summoned down from the heavens. Especially when he sang those lines from Virgil, with which Dido laments his broken promise when Aeneas hurt her: 205 Loreto Vittori (1600-1670) was an Italian composer. Born in Spoleto he moved to Rome in 1621, where he was first in the service of Cardinal Ludovico Ludovisi and then, beginning in 1632, of Cardinal Antonio Barberini, nephew of Urban VIII. Rossi mentions in a letter that Vittori set a sacred play he wrote about Ignatius Loyola to music (Ep. ad div. 1.VI.XXXVII). The anecdote recounted here is a reference to what Martha Feldman (2015: 50) describes as Loreto Vittori’s “brazen elopement with a married woman,” an event he alludes to in his “comic-heroic, quasi autobiographical epic La troia rapita (1662).” Rossi devotes a portrait to Vittori in his Pinacotheca altera. 206 Tigellius (1st century BCE) was a lyric poet who was active during the time of Julius Caesar; he appears in Horace’s Satires and in some of Cicero’s letters. Hermogenes also appears in Horace’s Satires as a detractor of the poet. 17 <?page no="521"?> 522 Eudemia in Ten Books “Dissimulare etiam sperasti, perfide, tantum posse nefas, tacitusque mea decedere terra? ” 576 cum reliquis, quibus versibus Aristoxenus quidam musicus 577 modos fecerat. Nemo enim fuit tam asper ac durus, qui posset lacrimas cohibere. Neque si totam illam noctem induxisset animum cantare, 578 erat ei verendum ne nos fastidio et satietate defatigatos a sese abalienaret. Verum quia aliis etiam animi oblectamentis illud erat tempus impertiendum, suis ipse cantionibus finem modumque constituit et una cum aliis oneravit se laetitia et hilaritate. At illud in primis ludi genus omnibus placuit, in quo, proposita ludicra aliqua materia, a ludi magistro singuli per orbem interrogantur; et si quis vel nihil vel inepte responderit, statim capitur ab eo pignus vel annuli, vel clavis, vel sudarii, vel sagi, vel etiam pallii. Quae pignora postea dividuntur inter praesentes, ut restituantur iis unde sunt capta; ea tamen lege, ut si ea recuperare sit in animo, imperata perficiant. Verum nihil imperari solet, nisi iucundum atque honestum. Quamobrem, si ille unde ablatus est pignus, canendi artem norit, iubetur vel voce vel fidibus canere; vel si sciat versus facere, cogitur epigramma vel odam vel distichon fundere, vel, si saltare didicerit, coram omnibus saltare praecipitur. Plura sunt ab acutis et ingeniosis illis hominibus in hoc ludi genere eleganter inventa; quorum unum, qui me in primis delectavit, hic exempli gratia subiciam. “Fingamus,” inquit cenae magister, “vos omnes peregre domum revertisse atque in itinere, ut fit, ad cauponem divertisse. Rogabo igitur singulatim unumquemque vestrum ut cauponis primum nomen ad quem divertit, tum tabernae eiusdem signum, deinde primum ferculum, tum pultem, postea elixum et assum, deinde vinum, postremo ultimum ferculum sibi antepositum, tanquam cenae epilogum narret, ita tamen, ut harum omnium rerum vocabula ab una eademque littera incipiant, et quoties quisque in litterae immutatione labetur, toties ab eo pignus auferatur. Ac ne sit liberum cuique quam velit sibi litteram sumere, numerus et ordo sedentium litterarum etiam ordinem numerumque conservet, ut primus sit A, secundus B, tertius C, atque ita deinceps reliqui omnes.” At Gallonius, qui erat proximus a tertio, primum sine ulla dubitatione respondit cauponi suo nomen fuisse Ballioni, signi loco Bulbum, tum sibi pro primo ferculo boletos, pro pulte brassicam, betam, blitum apposita, pro obsonio bubulam carnem datam, tum elixam tum assam, pro potione vinum Boeotum. Postremo, cum nullum subveniret ultimi nomen a littera B incipiens, risus est commotus 576 Verg. Aen. IV.305-6. see also Eud. 1998, X n. 17. 577 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n 18) refers to Cic. Tusc. I.X.19: “Aristoxenus, musicus idemque philosophus.” 578 Hor. Sat. I.III.1-2: “inter amicos / ut numquam inducant animum cantare rogati.” 18 19 <?page no="522"?> Book Ten 523 “Faithless one! Did you really think you would be able to conceal such an enormous crime and depart from my land in secret? ” along with the rest of the verses, which some musician named Aristoxenus had set to music. There wasn’t anyone present who was so stern or hard-hearted that he was able to refrain from crying. If he had been inclined to sing all night long, he would not have needed to fear losing us from being worn down by boredom or excess. But, since time had been set aside for other amusements as well, he decided on his own to stop singing, and he filled himself with joy and merriment together with the others. The game that everyone found most enjoyable was the one in which some playful topic would be introduced, and a game master would go around in a circle interrogating everyone. If someone didn’t answer, or gave a ridiculous response, he had to immediately lay a wager of his ring, his key, his handkerchief, his overcoat, or even his cloak. These wagered items were then distributed among the participants, so they could be returned to those who had forfeited them, on the condition that, if they wanted them back, they had to obey some sort of command. Generally, however, nobody was made to do anything that was not all in good fun and respectable. So, if the person who wagered an item was musically inclined, he would be ordered to sing or play an instrument. If he had a talent for writing poetry, he would be compelled to produce an epigram, ode, or distichon. If he knew how to dance, he would be made to dance in front of everyone. These keen and clever men devised many fitting topics for this sort of game, and I will share my favorite one here as an example. The master of the feast would say, “Let’s pretend that you have all returned home from abroad, and that during your trip you stopped at an inn, as one does. Therefore, I will ask each person, in turn, the name of his innkeeper where he stayed; then the name on the sign of his tavern; then his first course; then his pottage course; then his boiled and roasted meat; then his wine; and finally the dessert that was placed before him as an epilogue to his dinner. Everyone must answer in such a way that the words for all of these things begin with the same letter; and every time someone slips up and uses the wrong letter, he forfeits his wager entirely. So that people don’t get to freely choose the letter they want, the number and order of the people sitting here will dictate the number and order of the letters, so that the first person gets the letter A, the second person gets B, the third person gets C, and so on with everyone else.” Gallonius, who came before the third person, responded, without skipping a beat, that his innkeeper’s name was Ballio; the name on the tavern’s sign was The Bulb; that his first course was button mushrooms; his pottage was made with broccoli, beets, and borage; before the fruit course he had beef, both boiled and roasted; and his wine was 18 19 <?page no="523"?> 524 Eudemia in Ten Books omnesque hilari voce clamare, “Haeres; captus es; da pignus! ” Ille paululum rubore suffusus, manus dat ac detractum ex digito annulum tradit. Hoc ludi genere eo modo atque ordine quem deformavimus transacto, constitutum est praemium illi, qui in referenda inepti cuiuspiam in dictis factisque stoliditate atque stupore ceteris acumine ingenioque praestiterit. Ac multa quidem a multis fuere in medium allata; sed ego pauca tantum referam, quae memini magis. “Scriptor quidam,” inquit unus, “cui magnum est in historicis nomen, in referendis regni cuiusdam nominibus, scriptum reliquit urbem, Lita nomine, hostili manu fuisse deletam atque inde quidquid erat preciosi vel pulchri ablatum. Solum flumen, quod urbem interfluebat, hostibus sanctum fuisse ac ne digito quidem a quoquam attactum. Tanquam si possent flumina subripi ac subrepta in bulgas vel in vidulum condi! ” - “Scriptor alter,” inquit alius, “proditum memoriae ac litteris tradidit barbaros olim regnum Carnotis invasisse ac, pulsis habitatoribus, occupatum per annos fere quingentos obtinuisse. Quod ubi eorum, qui pulsi fuerant, progenies rescivit, confestim properasse amissam patriam armis recipere et egregia aliqua pugna collapsam atque iacentem maiorum suorum gloriam famamque sarcire.” Hic totus ille coetus in magnum repente risum effusus est ac “Tanta,” inquit, “accepta clades nonne celerius quam post quingentos annos potuit ad posterorum aures pervenire? ” - “Accipite,” inquit alius, “medici plane singularis non minorem in dictis scriptisque stuporem. Scripsit hic buglossam similem peponis odorem efflare, tum pisces nostri aevi, sive maris sive fluminum, tum salubritate, tum sapore deteriores esse superiorum temporum piscibus.” Sed ex omnibus quae dicta sunt ridicule stulta, illi, omnium concessu, palma delata est, de quo Offuscatus academicus commemoravit, qui, “Cum,” inquit, “proximo superiore anno contra rem meam iudicatum fuisset iniuste, ac propterea ex animi dolore paene conficerer, memini me fasto quodam die in buleuterium contulisse, quo aliqua ex parte eam mihi molestiam, si fieri posset, adimerem. Neque illud mihi consilium infeliciter cessit. Ea namque ibi voluptas obiecta est, quae litis amissae dolorem multo leviorem efficeret. Etenim illuc commodum veni, cum iam poliarchi iuri dicundo operam dedissent, ac pomariis ob eorum malitiam vehementer infensi de tribunali descenderent. Itaque iis placuit senatores aliquot, qui aderant, in consilium advocare, in quo ego quoque sum coactus adesse, quem paucis diebus ante invitum ac repugnantem in senatum adlegerant. Quibus convocatis, poliarchus natu maximus pomariorum astu- 20 21 <?page no="524"?> Book Ten 525 Boeotian. In the end, when he couldn’t think of a dessert beginning with the letter B, this brought on everyone’s laughter, and they all cried out in a merry voice, “You hesitated! You’ve been caught out! Hand over your wager! ” Blushing a little, Gallonius put out his hand, took off his ring, and handed it over. When we had finished playing this game in the way and order we had designed it, we decided to award a prize to the person who excels everyone else, in keenness and ingenuity, in recounting the sluggishness and stupidity of some fool’s words and deeds. Many people brought forward many examples indeed, but I will only recount the few that I remember best. One man said, “A certain author, who enjoys a great reputation as a historian, in writing about the facts of a certain kingdom, recorded that a city named Lita had been destroyed at the hands of an enemy, and everything that was valuable or beautiful was carried off. Only the river, which flowed through the city, remained untouched by the enemy forces, and they did not even lay a single finger on it. As if rivers could be taken, and, once they had been, could be concealed in a bag or a trunk! ” - “Another writer,” said another man, “recorded and handed down to memory that barbarians had once invaded the kingdom of Carnotes, driven out its inhabitants, and occupied it for almost five hundred years. When the descendants of those who had been driven out learned of this, they immediately rushed to take back, with arms, the fatherland they had lost, and, in a significant battle, to restore the fallen and ruined glory of their forefathers.” The whole gathering suddenly broke into great laughter, saying, “Couldn’t the news of such a defeat have reached the ears of their descendants sooner than after five hundred years? ” Another man said, “Listen to the great stupidity in the dictates and writings of a clearly one-of-a-kind doctor. He wrote that the oxtongue plant emits a similar odor to the watermelon, and also that the fish we eat nowadays, whether from the sea or from rivers, are inferior in both healthfulness and flavor to the fish eaten by our ancestors.” But of all the ridiculously stupid things that were said, the first prize was given, by the consent of all, to the man whom the scholar Offuscatus 207 brought up. He told us the following story: “When, this past year, a judgment had unjustly been made against my case—and I almost died from heartache because of it—I recall that, on a certain auspicious day, I had gone to the senate house in order to distract myself, to some extent, from my troubles, if at all possible. And my plan didn’t work out half badly, because something very delightful occurred there that greatly alleviated the pain of losing my suit. Indeed, I arrived there 207 There are two characters named Offuscatus, who appear, respectively, in Books Three (pseudonym for Giovanni Zaratino Castellini) and Seven (pseudonym for Antonio Bosio). It is not clear which one this is, though one might guess the latter, since his tricks in Book Seven indicate he has a sense of humor and enjoys a good story. 20 21 <?page no="525"?> 526 Eudemia in Ten Books tias atque malitias exponit; consulit quid agendum, quaenam ratio ineunda, qua eorum fraudibus occurratur et simul in eos aliquid exempli gratia statuatur. ‘At quaenam erit haec ratio? ’ inquit alius. ‘Mihi quidem non venit in mentem quod placeat. Nam si eorum mercibus pretium statuerimus, continuo eorum plerique potentiorum hominum quibus serviunt gratia vel etiam pecunia impetrabunt ne lege illa teneantur. Itaque nullus in hac ratione fructus est, omnis in ea opera luditur.’ 579 - ‘Inveniendus est,’ inquit alius, ‘dolus aliquis, qui dolosis contra paretur, unde sese expediendi rationem invenire non ita facile possint.’ - ‘Iam iam arbitror me invenisse,’ ait unus, qui saepius poliarchi functus erat munere, quique iuris scientia, rerum usu atque omni genere prudentiae ceteris praestare existimabatur. 580 Summa erat omnium exspectatio; neque minus eius ab ore pendebant quam si Milesius Thales aut aliquis alius ex illis septem esset dicturus. Atque, ‘Inveni,’ inquit, ‘rationem, qua vafris illis ac veteratoribus ad legis iugum excutiendum nihil sit in potentiorum gratia praesidii.’ Tum illi multo magis aedes aurium vacuas efficiunt. 581 Qui cum aliquantulum excreasset, muccis nares exonerasset, barbam permulsisset, ‘Ego,’ ait, ‘quo isti condignas suis sceleribus poenas luant, edictum secretum ferendum censeo. Ita enim plures annabunt thunni 582 quam volumus. Etenim contra eam legem venire non dubitabunt, quam non noverunt. Itaque manifestis criminibus evicti, priusquam patronorum fidem implorandi spatium habeant, poenas reipublicae graves iustasque persolvent.’ Iam paratus eram illi pro hac 583 tam gravi prudentique sententia loco plausus cachinnos dare, cum eos sibi praeripuit alius qui aderat in concilio, non minus quam ille bovis corio magis circumtectus quam suo, 584 qui continuo exclamavit, ‘Euge, bene, lepide, laudo commentum tuum.’ His actis, quoniam id diei tempus erat, dimissum est concilium, neque quidquam decretum.” Postquam Offuscatus quievit, consecutus est omnium risus; ac nemo fuit ex numero, quem non cupiditas ingens incesserit cognoscendi quisnam ille esset et quo nomine vocaretur, in quem tanta sapientia caderet. Sed Offuscatus parcendum hominis dignitati existimavit nomenque reticuit. Nos cum iam caelum illucesceret, domino domus gratiis actis, domum nostram cubitum ivimus somnoque, cuius eramus maxime indigentes, indulsimus. 579 Ter. Phorm. II.ii.332: “quia enim in illis fructus est, in illis opera luditur.” 580 Cic. Brut. XXVI.102: “Is oratorum in numero non fuit, iuris civilis intellegentia atque omni prudentiae genere praestitit.” 581 Cf. Plaut. Pseud. I.v.469: “Fac sis vocivas, Pseudole, aedis aurium.” 582 Hor. Sat. II.V.44: “plures adnabunt thynni et cetaria crescent.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 21. 583 hoc 1645. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 22) suggests this emendation to hac to modify sententia. 584 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 32) refers to Plaut. Mil. II.ii.235-6: “erus meus elephanti corio circumtentust, non suo, neque / habet plus sapientiai quam lapis.” <?page no="526"?> Book Ten 527 at the moment when the poliarchs had just finished carrying out their work of making legal pronouncements, and they were descending from the bench extremely angry at some fruit sellers on account of their wickedness. So the poliarchs decided to ask the advice of some senators who were there, and I had to be present too, because I had been elected to the senate a few days before, albeit reluctantly and unwillingly. When we had assembled, the most senior poliarch laid out the trickery and wickedness of the fruit sellers, asked what should be done, by what means their fraud could be counteracted, and, at the same time, how to impose something on them that would make an example of him. ‘By what means? ’ asked another. ‘I certainly can’t think of anything suitable. If we were to set the price of their merchandise, many of them would immediately obtain from the powerful men they serve, either via favors or even money, that they not be bound by the law. So, there is no benefit to that method; it’s a complete waste of time.’ - ‘We must find some sort of ruse,’ said another, ‘that we can use against those fraudsters, which they will not so easily be able to get around.’ - ‘I believe I have already found one,’ said one man who had often held the position of poliarch, and who was thought to be superior to the rest in terms of his knowledge of the law, his experience, and in all manner of statesmanship. Everyone waited with great anticipation, and they hung on his every word no less than if Thales of Miletus or one of the seven sages were about to speak. He said, ‘I have thought of a means by which the influence of powerful patrons will be of no use to these tricksters in escaping the constraints of the law.’ At that point everyone perked up their ears. Once he had cleared his throat a little, blown his nose, and stroked his beard, he said, ‘For them to suffer a punishment commensurate with their crimes, I think we should pass a secret law; that way, more tuna fish than we want will swim to us. Indeed, they will waste no time in breaking a law that they don’t know about. Lured this way into manifest crimes, they will suffer the state’s harsh and just punishments before they have a chance to ask their patrons for help.’ - ‘Instead of applauding, I was ready to laugh at him for this grave and prudent opinion, when another man who was in the council—one with a hide no less thick than the man who proposed the plan—took it upon himself to do so. He immediately exclaimed, ‘Well done! Good! Very nice! I applaud your suggestion.’ When they were finished, and since it was that time of day, the council was adjourned without any resolution.” Everyone laughed after Offuscatus had finished speaking, and there was nobody in that group who was not overcome with an immense desire to know who the man was, and what his name was, on whom so much wisdom had descended. But Offuscatus decided to spare the man’s dignity and kept the name to himself. Because it was already daybreak, we thanked the master of <?page no="527"?> 528 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed postquam illum omnem sepelivimus, de lecto pedem deduximus et in alterum intulimus, ubi corporis vires ad mensam uberem esca atque potione reficeremus. Sed tantum inde desumsimus quod esset ipsi naturae et necessitati satis. Tum aliquanto post deducti sumus in stadium seu in viam, in qua ludi dabantur; quae via non erat brevis curriculo, sed mille ac quingentis circiter passibus in longitudinem patebat. Licebat ibi cernere aedium fenestras stragulis, sericis aureisque vestibus ornatas, ac formosissimas in eis mulieres, regalis magnificentiae cultu indutas, quae magis spectaculo erant quam ludi qui fiebant. Atque tanta ibi erat copia venustatum, ut, tanquam si cena aliqua dubia esset apposita, 585 dubitares quo te potissimum verteres. Itaque omnes amabilitati animum adiciebant, omnes oculis epulas dabant. 586 In has olim mulieres aliosque licebat ovorum putamina iacere, referta aquis varii generis odoratis. Sed praetor peregrinus, quoniam ipsi olim in eiusmodi ludis oculus ovo ictus paene ex sua sede decesserat, vetuerat edicto ne quis ea venderet, haberet, iaceret. Tantum permittebat ut ovorum loco coriandra, amygdala, nuces avellanae 587 saccaro conditae tectaeque mitterentur. Itaque magna horum copia ad mulieres commeabat. Omnium generis hominum, personatorum praesertim, tantus erat numerus, ut vix transeuntibus aditus pateret. Et in primis, ubi quidam vetulae incurvae, tremulae, capularis, habitu ac persona vestitus, aram Apollini sacram occupaverat, circum lictores aderant exspectantes dum surgeret aramque desereret, quo abeuntem comprehenderent, vincirent et in carcerem conderent. Quin etiam minitabantur, nisi aram occupare desineret, se iussuros ignem et sarmenta circumdari; sed nihil promovebant. Nam tanto ille aram obsidebat magis. Inter populi clamores exibilationesque illae identidem voces exaudiebantur, “I lictor, colliga manus.” Atque illa cruciatus carmina saepius repetebantur, “Caput obnubito, arbori infelici suspendito.” 588 Hic (ut dici audivimus) cum auditione vel oculis accepisset anum quandam domi suae minas triginta in arca clausas habere, dum 585 cena dubia: “a dinner so varied that you don’t know what to take” (Horace and Fairclough 1926: 143 note a on Hor. Sat. II.II.76-7: “vides ut pallidus omnis / cena desurgat dubia? ”). Horace took the term from Ter. Phorm. II.ii.342: “cena dubia apponitur.” 586 Plaut. Poen. V.iv.1174-5: “fuit hodie operae pretium quoivis qui amabilitati animum / adiceret oculis epulas dare.” 587 Hazelnuts were extensively cultivated around the Campanian city of Avellino. 588 Cic. Rab. Perd. IV.13: “‘I, lictor, conliga manus’ … ista sunt cruciatus carmina quae tu, homo lenis ac popularis, libentissime commemoras: ‘Caput obnubito, arbori infelici suspendito.’” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 24. 22 23 <?page no="528"?> Book Ten 529 the house, went back home to bed, and gave ourselves over to sleep, something which we were much in need of. After we had lost the entire next day to sleep, we dragged our feet out of bed and embarked on the following day, where we restored our bodies’ strength at a table that was groaning with food and drink. But we only partook of what sufficed for nature and necessity. Sometime after that we were brought to a racetrack, or rather to a street, where the games were taking place. The street was not too short for holding a race, but extended approximately one and a half miles in length. 208 You could see the windows of the houses decorated with cloth, silks, and golden curtains, and the most beautiful women standing in them, dressed in regally magnificent attire, who were more worth watching than the games that were taking place. There were so many beautiful women that you were not sure where to focus most, just as when a richly varied feast is placed before you. Everyone turned his attention to the loveliness and feasted his eyes on it. It was once permitted to throw eggshells filled with perfume of various fragrances at these women and at others, but the praetor peregrinus, since he himself had once almost had his eye knocked out during these games when it got struck by an egg, forbade, via an edict, anyone from selling, possessing, or throwing them. 209 Instead of eggs, he only allowed coriander seeds, almonds, and candied hazelnuts to be thrown. Therefore a large number of these were being thrown at the women. The crowd of every type of person, especially those wearing masks, was so large that there was hardly any room for people to cross the street. Particularly when some man—dressed in the clothing and mask of a little old lady, who was stooped over, shaking, and with one foot in the grave—was holed up in a sanctuary sacred to Apollo. Lictors were gathered around waiting for him to get up and leave the sanctuary, so they could seize him as he was leaving, restrain him, and throw him in jail. They were even threatening that, unless he vacated the sanctuary, they would order fire and kindling to be placed around it. But nothing was working, because he hunkered down in the sanctuary even more. Among the shouts and the hissing of the people, we heard these cries over and over: “Lictor, go tie his hands! ” And we frequently heard that execution chant repeated: “Cover his head and hang him from the unlucky tree.” That man, as we heard tell, had found out, either by hearing about it or witnessing it, that a certain old lady kept thirty minae locked away in a safe in her house. While she was away, he opened the door of her house with a forged key and broke into her safe. So as not to arouse the suspicion of her neighbors, he threw the silver 208 The Via del Corso is about 1.5 kilometers long. 209 The throwing of eggs was prohibited in 1635 (Ademollo 1883: 16). 22 23 <?page no="529"?> 530 Eudemia in Ten Books illa aberat, adulterina clavi domus fores illius aperuerat, arcam effregerat. Et quo nulla vicinis suspicio oriretur, argentum surreptum una cum aliis quibusdam rebus preciosis in scapulas coniecerat et supra vetulae eiusdem vestem induerat, et colum lateri applicuerat orique vetulae personam domo allatam addiderat; quo fiebat ut unus gibberae personam referret. Vicini exeuntem arbitrati sunt esse aliquem aniculae vel amicum, vel cognatum, vel affinem, qui eum ab ipsa ornatum utendum accepisset, neque praeterea quidquam exquirendum. Sed vix ille e limine pedem extulerat, cum anus revertitur ac foras apertas offendit; statim suspicata est id quod erat, sibi manum fuisse aditam de argento. Tum muliebri supellectili non parcere 589 ; hoc est, clamare, vociferari, deum hominumque fidem exposcere. Vicini nihil esse loci clamoribus dicere, sed esse opus celeritate. Nam si pedibus non parceret, se facile consecuturam personatum furem anili habitu. Non moratur illa, sed flens ac totidem sibi liberos quot minas periisse clamans, per compita, basilicas ac fora omnia discurrit. Sed fortuna eam adiuvit; nam furem consecuta est, quem ex sua ipsius veste coluque cognovit. Hic licuit animadvertere quanta conscientiae vis sit. 590 Nam cum posset dissimulare, se eum esse qui erat, cum facile posset aliqua evolare ac turbae sese subducere, nihil horum fecit, sed in aram confugit suoque se indicio tanquam sorex prodidit. 591 Eodem paene momento lictores adfuerunt. Nos a turba paene oppressi, aegre obtinuimus summa totius corporis contentione ut inde elaberemur. Verum duobus vel tribus aliis spatiis factis, 592 ne cuiquam molestiam obiceremus, locum in meritorio spectaculo mercede conducimus. Sed vix suggestum illud conscenderamus, cum coepit illac eius diei pompa transire hoc ordine: primum ridiculas inter effigies, ut etiam Romae in ludis mos est, manducus efferebatur, magnis malis late dehiscens et ingentem dentibus strepitum edens. 593 Deinde, post lictorum pedestrem turbam, duces eorum ibant in equis; hos itidem pedibus Apochichirorum primi subsequebantur vestibus sumptuosis induti, redimiculis 589 Plaut. Poen. V.iii.1145: “tace atque parce muliebri supellectili.” 590 Cic. Cat. III.11: “tum ille subito scelere demens quanta conscientiae vis esset ostendit.” 591 Ter. Eun. V.vi.1024: “egomet meo indicio miser quasi sorex hodie perii.” John Barsby (2001: 433, n. 43) provides Donatus’s explanation of this line from Ter. Eun., which is that the shrew squeals loudly while eating thus giving itself away to captors even in the dark. 592 Cic. De or. I.VII.28: “dicebat tum Scaevolam, duobus spatiis tribusve factis, dixisse.” 593 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 25) refers to Paul the Deacon’s epitome of Sextus Pompeius Festus’s De verborum significatu: “Manduci effigies in pompa antiquorum inter ceteras ridiculas formidolosasque ire solebat, magnis malis ac late dehiscens et ingentem dentibus sonitum faciens.” 24 <?page no="530"?> Book Ten 531 he had stolen, together with some other precious objects, over his shoulder, put the old woman’s clothes over that, hung a distaff at his side, and put a mask of an old woman over his face, which he had brought from home. The result was that, all on his own, he looked like a hunched crone. The neighbors thought that the man leaving the house was some friend, relative, or neighbor of the little old woman, who had borrowed this outfit from her to use, and they didn’t think there was anything more to investigate. But the man had barely set his foot outside the door when the old woman came back and found her front door open. She immediately suspected what had happened, that somebody had robbed her of her silver. She did not spare her womanly arsenal; that is to say, she yelled, shouted, and implored the faith of gods and men. The neighbors said that this wasn’t the time for yelling, but that she needed to hurry. If she ran as fast as she could, she would easily catch up to the thief who was disguised as an old woman. She did not delay. In tears, and crying out that losing those minae was to her like losing just as many children, she ran through crossroads, basilicas, and all of the forums. But luck was on her side, because she caught up to the thief, whom she recognized by her own clothes and distaff. At this point, one should take notice of how much power there is in a guilty conscience. Although he could have pretended that he was somebody he wasn’t, since he could have easily fled somehow and ducked into the crowd, he did none of these things. Instead, he hid in the sanctuary and gave himself away by his own evidence, just like the shrew does. The lictors arrived at almost that very moment. Practically being crushed by the crowd, thanks to a great physical effort, we barely managed to slip out of there. After we had taken two or three more turns about the city, so as not to disturb anyone, we paid for spectator seats, which were available for a fee. We had just climbed up into the bleachers when that day’s parade began to pass by in the following order: Among the ridiculous figures—as is the practice in Roman games as well—the first to be carried out is the manducus 210 with its huge, widely gaping jowls and loud, gnashing teeth. Next, after the troop of lictors had gone ahead on foot, the leaders of the lictors passed by on horseback. The leading Apochichiri followed after, likewise on foot, dressed in sumptuous clothing, adorned with gold necklaces, and surrounded by many of their own kind carrying green olive branches. Then, in front of the prize that was to be competed for that day, thirteen tabor players and six flute players filled the sky with joyful noise and sound. Next, a group of pistes came into view, leaning on ceremonial batons that were painted green. Then, following behind two adoles- 210 A masked figure, used in processions and in comedies, representing a person chewing grotesquely. 24 <?page no="531"?> 532 Eudemia in Ten Books aureis praecincti ac pluribus ex suis virides olearum ramos gestantibus stipati. Tum ante praemium, de quo erat eo die certandum, tympanotribae tredecim ac tibicines sex hilari caelum strepitu sonituque complebant. Porro sese in conspectum dabat pistium turba, scipionibus viridi colore depictis innixa. Deinceps, post duos ephebos in equis sedentes, quorum alter ligneum sceptrum, districtum alter praeferebat ac inacem, equitabat praetor uterque, peregrinus et urbanus, medius inter poliarchos. Sed peregrinus trabea candida ac niveis ad frena ministris utebatur; urbanus in veste aurea, ad talos usque demissa, nitebat. Postremo varii ac multiplicis generis iudices, tabelliones, scribae pompam claudebant. Eo die, praeter multitudinem personatorum (ut diximus) nihil fere quod admirationem [non 594 ] commoveret aspeximus. Erant grallatores multi, qui, itidem personati, grallis ita longis impositi, ut propemodum manibus aedium fenestras attingerent. Vidimus etiam aliquot, quibus tibialia ac femoralia ex purpura ita membris apta haerebant, ut crassitudinem eorum non excederent quibusque, tum ante tum retro, per foramina ad id facta subucularum orae defluebant. Hi tum manibus, tum pedibus per parietes aedium cochlearum ritu repebant ac paulatim ad summum admirabili dexteritate egrediebantur. Sed cum paene iam tenebrae orirentur nosque iam exspectando defessi de profectione cogitaremus, ex improviso populi clamor exoritur, lictorum interminantium edictiones excipiuntur: “Ite, decedite, fugite; en veniunt, adsunt.” Respicimus ac duos videmus, detractis omnibus vestibus, nudos ex aequo currendi celeritate contendere ac ne digitum quidem alterum alteri praecurrere, quamquam uterque socium supplantare manuque depellere niteretur. His alii quatuor proximi accedebant, sed longo intervallo proximi, ita ut iam de palma desperarent. Sed qui fuit in eo curriculo postremus, risus nobis mire commovit. Etenim, cum palmam iam primus accepisset, ita lente otioseque suum cursum prosequebatur, ut si non celerrimus ac velocissimus quisque, sed ceteris segnior ac tardior praemio esset afficiendus. Hunc iure omnes clamoribus, sibilis dictisque excipiebant. Quibus ille victus tandem currendi sententia destitit ac, lapides metuens, in proximam amici cuiusdam sui domum se recepit. Itaque, cum nihil iam reliquum esset quod praeterea aspiceremus, una cum aliis discessimus. In redeundo accepimus ex eo qui ipse vidisset furem illum tam elegantem, e lictorum manibus elapsum, a periculo tutum esse. Quomodo id factum sit, 594 I added non for sense (after all, stilt walkers and wall climbers would have been quite a sight). 25 26 <?page no="532"?> Book Ten 533 cent boys sitting on horseback—one of whom was brandishing a wooden scepter and the other one an outstretched scimitar—each of the praetors, peregrinus and urbanus, came riding by on horseback between the poliarchs. But the praetor peregrinus was wearing a white mantle and had attendants dressed in white at his reins; the praetor urbanus was resplendent in a golden robe that stretched all the way down to his ankles. Finally, various and sundry judges, clerks, and scribes brought up the rear of the parade. Aside from the crowds of people in masks, as we said, we didn’t see a single thing on that day that did not inspire amazement. There were many stilt walkers, also wearing masks, whose stilts were so tall that they could almost touch the windows of the mansions with their hands. We also saw some people whose purple stockings and trousers were fitted so tightly to their bodies as not to exceed them in width, and whose fringes on their shirts flowed down, both in the front and in the back, through holes that were created for that purpose. These performers crept up the walls of the buildings with their hands and their feet like snails, arriving at the top little by little with amazing dexterity. When darkness was already almost upon us, and we were tired of waiting and had begun thinking about when to leave, people suddenly started shouting, and we heard the lictors ordering and threatening people: “Go! Leave! Get out of the way! Look, they’re coming! They’re here! ” We look back and see two men, stripped of their clothing and naked, currently tied in a footrace, with neither of them overtaking the other by even a finger’s breadth, although each one tried to trip his opponent up or push him away with his hand. The next four were gaining on these two, but they were a long distance behind, so they no longer had any hope of winning the prize. But the one who was in last place in the race made us laugh uproariously. Indeed, although the winner had already received his prize, he persevered in his course slowly and at a leisurely pace, as if it were not the fastest and swiftest man that would be awarded the prize, but the most sluggish and slowest one. Everybody justifiably greeted this person with shouts, hissing, and choice words. Finally defeated, he decided to stop running and, afraid of getting pelted with stones, he took himself to the nearest house of a friend of his. When there was nothing else left for us to see beyond that, we left along with the others. As we were returning home, we heard from someone, who had seen it with his own eyes, that the fine thief had escaped the lictors’ grasp and was safe from danger. We asked how that had happened, to which the person said, “After he had occupied the sanctuary for a long time, the lictors, who had been guarding him, left because they had to assist the praetors at the games that day. 25 26 <?page no="533"?> 534 Eudemia in Ten Books quaerimus. “Postquam,” ait, “diu arae obsessor extiterat, lictores, quorum ille custodiis asservabatur, discesserunt, quod deberent ad ludos eius diei praetoribus praesto esse. Tum paulatim turba dilapsa, hac illac sese diffudit, quamobrem ille cum paucis aniculaque relinquitur, quae Hecuba in canem conversa latrare luctu filiorum videbatur. At fur, quo illum vomitum absolveret 595 simulque, dum sibi occasio tempusque daretur se cruci surripere, 596 solvit zonam qua erat praecinctus, atque argento eisque quae in scapulis gibbum simulabant decurrendi ad terram aditum fecit. Quae deinde sumpta vetulae in os impegit una cum colo ac veste, ac pedibus salutem suam commisit. Illa, argento recuperato, cuius heredem nunquam post eum diem se esse futuram 597 arbitrata erat, domum hilari solutoque animo rediit. “Fur vero, cum amissa praeda ad portam urbis proximam pergeret, incidit in equum, quem chirurgus arbori, cuidam aegro vomicam secaturus, habenis religaverat ac mulierculis ibi stamen nentibus commendaverat. Hunc ille interritus solvit, conscendit; mulieres quid ad se equus ille pertineat rogant. Fur imperatum sibi a domino ait ut ad Isidis aedem proximam cum eo se conferat; mox enim ibi eum adfuturum, ut uni ex Isiacis illis crus obliget. Mulieres credunt, quiescunt, molestae non sunt. At fur aedituum, qui pro aede Isidis stabat, orat ut, si dominus quaesitum se veniat, dicat equum ad Nympharum portam aquatum esse perductum; proinde vel exspectaret dum rediret, vel, si nollet, eo sese conferret. Verum furcifer, contra quam dixerat, extra portam Collinam, qua itur ad loca huius insulae mediterranea maxime, fugam arripuerat. “Non ita multo post chirurgus revertitur (nam morbo inspecto vomicam immaturam deprehenderat ac proinde nondum ferro tentandam censuerat, ne plus exhiberet negotii) atque equum non videt. Quaerit de mulieribus quid eo factum sit. Respondent a quodam, qui suum se esse servum diceret, ad Isidis aedem fuisse perductum. Accurrit ille atque aedituum, qui etiam tum pro foribus templi manebat, interrogat num equum vidisset. ‘Quidni,’ inquit, ‘viderim? Quin servus etiam tuus, qui in eo sedebat, mihi mandavit ut tantisper hic te retinerem, dum a porta Nympharum, quo aquatum eum perduxerat, reverteretur vel, si malles, eo tu ipse contenderes.’ Chirurgus, aliquid suspicans fraudis, ad portam advolat ac neque equum neque equitem videt. Percontatur ianitorem, si equus quisquam 595 Plaut. Mostell. III.i.652: “apsolve hunc quaeso, vomitu[m] ne hic nos enicet.” 596 surriperet 1645 597 Plaut. Men. III.ii.476-7: “apstuli / hanc, quoius heres numquam erit post hunc diem.” 27 28 <?page no="534"?> Book Ten 535 Then the crowd dispersed little by little and scattered in different directions. For this reason, there were just a few people left, plus the little old woman, who seemed like Hecuba transformed into a dog and barking with grief for her sons. 211 The thief, in order to pay back the horrible old crone, and, at the same time, to give himself an opportunity to escape the gallows, took off the belt he was wearing, and created an opening for the money—and for the items on his shoulders that made him look like a hunchback—to pour down onto the ground. He picked them up and threw them in the old lady’s face, along with her distaff and clothes, and made his escape. The little old lady recovered her money, which she never thought she would ever possess again, and she returned home happy and with her mind at ease. “The thief, however, after he had lost his spoils and was making his way to the nearest city gate, came upon a horse, which a surgeon, who was on his way to lance a sick man’s boil, had tied to a tree by its reins and asked some young women, who were spinning yarn, to watch it. Undaunted, the thief untied the horse and mounted it. The women asked what business he had with the horse. The thief said that he had been ordered by his master to take it to the nearby Temple of Isis when he was heading there; and that his master would soon arrive to dress the leg of one of the priests of Isis. The women believed him, were put at ease, and didn’t cause him any trouble. But the thief asked the sacristan, who was standing in front of the Temple of Isis, to tell his master, if he should come to inquire, that the horse had been taken to Nymphs Gate to get some water. The master could either wait until he got back, or if he didn’t wish to, he could go to Nymphs Gate. The thief, however, contrary to what he had told the sacristan, had fled out of Collina Gate, 212 which leads to the most interior part of this island. “A short while later the surgeon returned (having examined the boil, he found that it was not fully developed and he had decided not to lance it yet, so as not to take on more work) and didn’t see his horse. He asked the women what had happened to it. They responded that the horse had been taken to the Temple of Isis by someone who said he was his servant. The surgeon ran over and asked the sacristan, who was still standing at the entrance to the temple, if he had seen his horse. ‘Why wouldn’t I have seen it? ’ he responded. ‘As a matter of fact, your servant, who was riding it, ordered me to keep you here until he returned from Nymphs Gate, where he took the horse to get some water. Alternatively, if you prefer, you can go there yourself.’ The surgeon, suspecting some sort of fraud, 211 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 26) refers to Ov. Met. XIII.549-70 and Cic. Tusc. III.XXVI.63 for the story of Hecuba being transformed by the gods into a dog so she can escape after avenging her son’s murder at the hands of King Polymestor of Thrace. 212 Collina (also Collatina): Roman goddess of the hills. 27 28 <?page no="535"?> 536 Eudemia in Ten Books eo venisset; qui venisse respondet, sed qui eum vehebat, nulla mora interiecta, suum iter prosecutum esse; se quidem existimare extra portam Collinam egressum. Chirurgus, quod esset ventriosus et calor summus, et quod occisam hanc rem 598 existimaret, furis insequendi pausam fecit. Summa denique huc rediit, ut, qui eques domo discesserat, pedes ac pulveris et sudoris plenus reverteretur.” Postridie fuit nobis auctor Gallonius, ut personas indueremus et, qua luberet, personati vagaremur. Ita enim fore ut illam in eodem loco manendi molestiam effugeremus, et quidquid ubique oculorum aut aurium sensum pulchritudine aut suavitate commoveret, otiose et quantum libitum esset hauriremus. Atque eadem opera equos nobis, ex dynastae sui stabulis eductos ac pulchre phaleratos, attribuit. Quibus conscensis una cum eo, qui in alio item equo personatus haerebat, passim vagari iucunde ac suaviter coepimus, multa oculis atque auribus voluptatum genera varietatesque collegimus. Sed nulla nos voluptas ea magis affecit quam ex ludicro quodam armorum spectaculo cepimus; quo non facile quidquam dixerim me vidisse in vita magnificentius atque venustius. Equitum enim turmae, consimili vestitu ac supra quam dici potest sumptuoso atque amoeno, in equis, eodem quo ipsi ornatu atque colore, phaleratis sedentes, primum equos scite lepideque tractare, in gyrum ducere, ad symphoniae cantum cogere saltationes inire. Quae etiam gratius ac iucundius ad aures oculosque veniebant ex crepitaculorum sonitu, quorum ingens numerus ex auro in laminis argenteis scite eleganterque illigatus, equorum pedibus et collis haerebat atque ex variis plumarum generibus, tum equitum galeis tum equorum capitibus additis. Deinde, postquam satis sunt in hac lepida equorum tractatione versati, coepere se invicem, districtis acinacis, petendo insectandoque simulacrum equestris proelii referre, postremo sumptis velitaribus hastis, 599 citatis eas in ligneam hominis effigiem equis dirigere comminuereque. Multa etiam falsa atque ridicula iacta sunt in plures a personatis, quibus inveterata licentia passim vagantibus ius est omnia dicere. Quidam, baiuli indutus persona atque habitu, cui scapulae paulo altius prominebant atque exstabant, adeo ut fidium quarundam speciem efficerent, rogatus est a quodam quanti 598 Plaut. Pseud. I.v.423: “occisa est haec res, haeret hoc negotium.” 599 hastae velitares: light javelins or darts carried by velites, who were light infantry, or skirmishers, who attacked the enemy outside of the line of battle. 29 30 <?page no="536"?> Book Ten 537 rushed to the gate, where he saw neither the horse nor its rider. He asked the gatekeeper if a horse had come through there, and the gatekeeper said that a horse had come through there, but the rider had continued on his way without stopping, and he actually thought he had exited through Collina Gate. Because he had a big belly, because it was very hot, and because he figured that the trail was cold, the surgeon put an end to his pursuit of the thief. In short, he returned here in such a state that, although he had set out on a horse, he came back on foot covered in dust and sweat.” The following day, Gallonius proposed that we don masks and, disguised in this way, that we roam about wherever we wanted. That way we would avoid the boredom of staying in the same place, and we could take in whatever struck our sense of sight and sound, with its beauty and charm, at a leisurely pace and for as long as we liked. At the same time, he let us use horses that he had brought out of his dynast’s stables and had adorned beautifully. We mounted the horses and, together with Gallonius (who was likewise wearing a mask and on horseback), we began to roam delightfully and pleasantly far and wide, taking in many sorts and varieties of pleasures with our eyes and ears. But nothing gave us more pleasure than a choreographed battle scene. I can easily say I have not seen anything more magnificent or more delightful in all my life. Teams of horsemen, dressed in matching outfits—which were more luxurious and beautiful than can be put into words—were mounted on horses that were dressed in the same attire and colors as their riders. The horsemen began by handling their horses skillfully and splendidly, leading them in a circle and getting them to prance to the sound of music. This prancing struck our ears and eyes even more pleasingly and delightfully on account of the sound of bells—of which there was a huge number made out of gold and skillfully and elegantly fastened to plates of silver—that hung from the horses’ hooves and necks and were affixed to the riders’ helmets and the horses’ heads. Next, after the horsemen had spent enough time handling their horses in this charming fashion, they began to simulate an equestrian battle by attacking and chasing each other with scimitars drawn. Finally, they spurred their horses, aimed their javelins, and thrust them into a wooden figure of a man. Many insulting jokes were hurled against multiple people by those wearing masks, who enjoyed, by long-standing tradition, the freedom to roam about and say anything they wanted. A certain man was dressed in the mask and clothing of a porter and had shoulder blades that jutted and stood out a little bit higher than normal, such that they looked a bit like a lyre. When somebody asked him how much he was selling his lyres for, not missing a beat he said, “You should first check and see if the sound is to your liking,” and he lifted his foot up a little higher and let out a huge fart. There was the son of a certain sword maker who, 29 30 <?page no="537"?> 538 Eudemia in Ten Books fides illas venderet. Cui ex tempore, “Vide,” inquit, “primum, num sonus tibi probetur.” Ac tollens aliquanto altius pedem, ingentem crepitum edidit. Erat gladiarii cuiusdam filius ob insignem corporis pulchritudinem (ut fit) fama minus commoda ac secunda. Hunc cum quidam de grege illo mimorum ab homine noto raeda sublatum circumduci vidisset, “O pulchelle,” inquit, “puer, strenue, fortis; nunquam pater tibi tuus gratiam referet. Non enim tam multos ille gladios potest efficere quam multas tu illi vaginas concinnas ac tradis.” Interim praemium ea pompa, qua pridie illud alterum delatum fuerat, circumfertur; nisi quod Apochichiri eorumque primi non aderant. Nihil enim reliqua ad eos praemia pertinebant. Circumductae sunt etiam equae equive, tum eius regionis tum barbari, quibus mixtim, ob novam provinciam illi imperio adiunctam, decurrendum erat. Quo videlicet spatium illud atque hominum multitudinem perhorrescerent minus et, ut quodammodo se ad cursuram meditarentur, ad ludos nullum erat eis ephippium; quo expeditiores essent ad cursum, pueri, tenui vestitu nec laxitate corporis crassitudinem excedente, eos frenis regebant et calcaribus incitabant. Quidam eorum sessoris officium nihil morabantur, quippe quibus aenei orbiculi, loris ad utrunque latus adductis, appensi instar calcarium erant. Sed multo magis naturalis quaedam alacritas animum inflammabat ad cursum. “At si ludos,” inquit Gallonius, “spectare lepidissimos vultis, eo accedatis oportet, aut ubi curriculum istud oritur, aut ubi occidit; utroque enim in loco voluptas maxima capitur.” Placuit consilium; ac primum eo iter tendimus, ubi cursus inchoatur. Ibi licuit oculis aspicere quod antea fama et auditione acceperam, videlicet inesse equis intellectum adhortationis, pugnae et gloriae. Etenim non antea se commovere quam signum tuba daretur, arduae cervicis flexu hilaritatem significare, hinnitu laudibus ac plausibus inhiare, ingenito ardore ac robore feroces victoriam corde concipere. Signo dato, tum protinus in pedes sese cuncti conicere, ad cursuram dare, oculis spectantium eripere, ad palmam contendere ea vi ac celeritate, ut, si aliud nihil spectasses, non equas, non equos, sed aves, sed ventos in cursu esse iurasses. Personabant 600 omnia faustis acclamantium vocibus, ardebat uniuscuiusque cupiditas pernoscendi cuinam eius certaminis palma contingeret; atque prout cuiusque studium ex amicitia vel ex naturali quadam animi propensione flagrabat, alius alii victoriam destinabat. Vix e carceribus prodierant, cum ad calces eos pervenisse cognoscimus. Nam inde nuntius manavit Ianiculi equum ceteris superiorem in cursu fuisse. 600 pesonabant 1645 31 32 <?page no="538"?> Book Ten 539 on account of his outstandingly beautiful physique, enjoyed (as often happens) a less than desirable or favorable reputation. When a member of the mime troupe saw that a well-known man was ferrying the sword maker’s son around in his carriage, he said, “You strapping, strong pretty boy! Your father will never thank you, because he can never forge enough swords to match the number of sheaths you are fitting out and offering up to him.” 213 In the meantime, a prize was being carried around in a procession like the one in which the other prize had been carried the day before, except that the Apochichiri and their leaders were not present, because they were not eligible for the remaining prizes. Mares and stallions were also being led around, both native and Berber ones, which were to race together in recognition of a new province that had been added to the empire. Evidently, so the racetrack and the crowd of people were not so intimidating to the horses, and in order to get them to focus in some way on the race, the horses didn’t wear saddles for this competition. To make them run faster, boys in lightweight, tight-fitting clothes controlled the horses with reins and drove them with spurs. Some of the horses had no regard for the role of their jockey, especially those that had copper rings, like spurs, hanging down on each side on tightened straps. But more than that it was the horses’ natural eagerness that excited them to run. Gallonius said, “If you wish to see these delightful games, you need to hurry either to the starting line of the race, or to the finish line. Either one of those spots is where you will experience the greatest enjoyment.” We liked his suggestion and made our way first to the starting line. From there we were able to see, with our own eyes, what I had earlier only learned of through reputation and from hearing about it: namely, that horses possessed an innate sense of exhortation, competition, and glory. Indeed, they didn’t move until the trumpet gave the signal; they showed their delight by twisting their long necks; they basked in praise and applause by neighing; and they valiantly visualized victory in their hearts with their innate eagerness and strength. When the signal was given, they all thrust themselves forward on their hooves, began running, disappeared out of sight of the spectators, and strove for victory with such force and speed that, if you had not been seeing otherwise, you would have sworn that birds or winds were racing each other, not mares and stallions. Everything echoed with the approving sound of people cheering, and everyone was eager to see who was going to win the contest. According to how inflamed with fervor someone was, either out of friendship or out of some natural inclination, different people predicted that a different horse would win. The horses had barely come out of 213 This is a lewd joke based on the wordplay around the Latin word vagina (sheath). 31 32 <?page no="539"?> 540 Eudemia in Ten Books Empti, qui ultro citroque commeantes magna voce Ianiculi nomen pronuntiarent, celebrarent, efferrent; qui vitam illi felicitatem et fausta omnia deprecarentur. Quaerimus a propinquis quidnam hominis sit iste Ianiculus. Respondent eum esse professione lanium, cunctis qui lanienam facerent, pecunia ac pecudum numero facile principem. Huius equos celeritate cursuque ceteris superiores haberi ac fere nunquam nisi victores domum reverti. Itaque ille his praemiis omnes habet arcas, omnia armaria referta, quae interdum gloriae et ostentationis causa palam omnibus ad visendum exponit. Nec mirum; nam antea soli qui erant genere, splendore ac nobilitate omnium primi, suos in haec certamina equos submittebant. Nunc vero non eo animo equos alunt, ut eos ad saltandum vel ad currendum edoceant, sed ut raedae iungant, qua vel per urbem vel in agrum placide vecti ferantur. Quamobrem iam tota res haec rediit ad muliones, lanios, opiliones, vel ad unum aut alterum nosocomium, quod rem pecuariam facit. Sed laniorum in primis equi ceteris ad hunc usum praestare existimantur, quod fere quotidie ad cursuram exerceantur, dum illi vaccam vel bovem, ex bovili fugientem, equis delati sectantur ac retrahunt. Nos eo die spectaculis expleti saturatique discessimus. Postero die cum nulli eiusmodi agones ederentur, magna ex parte me domi continui et Aristidi, sicut antea discessurus promiseram, litteras dedi. Argumentum ex quodam sermone desumpsi, quem paulo ante meum discessum cum illo habueram, cum meam vicem dolerem ac quererer, quod, fortunis paene omnibus amissis, patria domoque carerem, ille vero sanctissimis suis praeceptis ac monitis mihi persuadere conaretur nihil esse mali praeter culpam, et unicuique ibi patriam esse, ubi ille modeste, temperanter ac rationi congruenter aevum agitet. Itaque, quo me ad eius consilia vitam moresque formasse probarem, in haec plane verba ad eum litteras scripsi. Flavius Vopiscus Niger Aristidi Salutem. Non bene Fortunam dixi foedamque trucemque semper se nostris opponere fortiter ausis. 33 34 35 <?page no="540"?> Book Ten 541 the starting gates when we saw them reaching the finish line. At that point an announcer spread the news that Ianiculus’s horse had emerged victorious over the others in the race. There were hired hands moving about to and fro, pronouncing Ianiculus the winner, congratulating him, and lifting him up, and praying for a happy life and all good things for him. We asked the people sitting next to us what sort of man this Ianiculus was. They replied that he was a butcher by trade, and out of all of those who ran butcher shops, he was easily the leader in terms of earnings and number of animals. His horses were considered superior to all of the others with regard to speed and racing, and his horses almost always returned home victorious. For this reason, all of his storage chests and his closets are stuffed full of these prizes, and, for the sake of boasting and bragging, he takes them out every once in a while for everyone to see. And it is no wonder. Before, only the elites of society in terms of ancestry, wealth, and nobility entered their horses in these competitions. Nowadays, on the contrary, they don’t breed horses in order to train them to jump or run, but to hitch them to their carriages, which they ride around in and are ferried about the city and out into the countryside in comfort. For this reason, the whole racing enterprise falls to the muleteers, butchers, shepherds, or this or that hospital that maintains livestock for generating income. But the butchers’ horses are considered superior to the others for racing, because they practice running almost on a daily basis, while the butchers are chasing down their cows and bulls on horseback to retrieve them whenever they escape from their stalls. After we had our fill that day to the point of satiety, we left. Since no games were scheduled for the following day, for the most part I stayed home to write a letter to Aristides, as I had promised to do when I was departing. 214 I took the topic of my letter from a certain conversation I had with him a short while before I left, when I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining because I had lost almost my entire fortune and was missing my country and my home. With his sacrosanct maxims and advice, however, he tried to convince me that the only evil that exists is sin, and that each person’s home is in that place where he can live out his life modestly, with restraint, and in accordance with reason. Therefore, to demonstrate that I had fashioned my life according to his advice, I wrote a letter to him with these exact words: Flavius Vopiscus Niger to Aristides, Greetings. I was wrong when I said that hateful and harsh Fortune always opposes our brave attempts; I was wrong, because my mother’s unhappy womb brought me forth into the realms of the light when the 214 End of Book Nine. 33 34 35 <?page no="541"?> 542 Eudemia in Ten Books Non bene, quod, diis iratis, in luminis auras 601 me matris genitum infelix eduxerit alvus. 5 dum pravum ingenium ac vitiis deforme recusat ad quas praescribit ratio componere leges. Quod si consiliis patientem accommodet aurem, 602 inveniet faciles atque experietur amicos, quos sibi non aequos lacrimis ploravit obortis. 10 Cui domina est ratio, sapiens censebitur idem. Vir sapiens in se totus teres atque rotundus, 603 sat propria virtute ferox se conspicit unum, humana intrepido contemnens omnia vultu. Hic sibi nulla foris trepidis solatia rebus 15 advocat invictus, cunctis praestantior ipse. Hic, veluti scopulus, fortunae fluctibus atris tunditur incassum. Nam quis convellere tentet virtutis valido formatum robore pectus? Quod fortunati sano si iudice nomen 20 vindicat ille sibi, pulsis qui pectore curis nec dulcis lucri capitur nec honoris amore, quid prohibet fieri me ex omni parte beatum, 604 si nulla accedat menti male sana cupido, 605 et summa victrix ratio dominetur in arce? 25 Ipsi iter ad lepidae praecludimus otia vitae, dum placet alterius nimium sors, nostraque sordet, nobis nec finis quaerendi poscitur ullus. 601 Verg. G. II.47. Contemporary editions read “luminis oras,” but auras is an accepted reading in earlier editions (see e.g., Virgil and Heyne [1793]). 602 Hor. Epist. I.I.40: “si modo culturae patientem commodet aurem.” 603 Hor. Sat. II.VII.86: “[sapiens] in se ipso totus, teres atque rotundus.” 604 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 29) refers to Hor. Carm. II.16.27-8: “Nihil est ab omni / parte beatum.” 605 Desiderius Erasmus, Poem 94.31: “Ast bona, te quorum vexat male sana cupido, / Ah tibi (si credes) nil bonitatis habent” (Erasmus, Miller, and Vredeveld [1993: 202]). <?page no="542"?> Book Ten 543 gods were angry. Because of his own fault, each person has felt the injustice of the gods toward him, while he refuses to reshape his nature, depraved and misshapen by vice, according to the laws that reason prescribes. If he would lend an ear that is open to advice, he will find and experience willing friends, whom he had complained, with falling tears, were unjust. When reason is in command, the wise will form opinions accordingly. The wise man, who is whole within himself, smooth, rounded, and confident enough in his own virtue, perceives himself to be self-sufficient, and, with an untroubled expression, he pays human affairs no heed. Invincible, he does not, in perilous situations, summon solace for himself from outside himself, because he is stronger than everything else. Like a rock, fortune’s terrible tides crash against him in vain. Who would try to shake a heart that has been tempered by the powerful strength of virtue? And if, by the use of sound reasoning, and having banished all worry from his heart, he wins for himself the name of “fortunate” and is not taken in by sweet riches or the love of honor, what is to prevent me from becoming happy in every respect, if no unhealthy desires enter my mind, and if reason rules triumphant in the highest citadel? It is we ourselves who block the path to the peace and quiet of a happy life, while we long overmuch for the fate of another and revile our own, and we place no limits on our striving. If I know you well, I would ascribe the reputation and designation of “happy” to nobody if not to you, for whom everything God and reason gave you is sufficient, nor do you hound the stars, pleading to shine before everyone in Tyrian purple, for new pastures to be added to your fields, and for the wishes of your heart to be realized. Instead, in your constancy, you dwell in Jove’s sacred temple, utterly rapt in reflection on the virtues of the gods. Although the passage of time, with its rolling years and long experience of many things, has abused me long enough and has directed me to better endeavors, diligently pray that my mind always be at peace. If I have said anything a little too upsetting, either consign it to the breezes, or see that it disappears from your memory. <?page no="543"?> 544 Eudemia in Ten Books Si bene te novi, famam nomenque beati vel tibi, vel dederim nulli; cui sufficit omne 30 quod Deus et ratio tribuit, nec sidera tundis, 606 scilicet ut Tyrio niteas spectandus in ostro, 607 vel nova possessis iungantur pascua campis, vel fiat voti mentis sententia compos, 608 sed Iovis assiduus sacra versaris in aede, 35 divum virtutes meditans et totus in illis. 609 At decursa licet seclis properantibus aetas, multarumque simul vetus experientia rerum, me satis illusum studia ad meliora remittant, aequam perpetuo mentem mihi sedulus ora, 40 et si quid dixi paulo commotior, auris vel da, vel memori fac sis decedere mente. His litteris scriptis, obsignatis et tabellario traditis, cum iam ultima diei pars recederet ac prima noctis accederet, deducti sumus a Gallonio in aedes cuiusdam, Oro nomine, ut ibi cenaremus. Nam pridie ipse et amici aliquot coierant, in eam noctem, ut de symbolis essent. 610 At nos asymboli venimus, quod Gallonius aere dato, ut immunes ad eum numerum adscriberemur, effecerat. Nunquam edepol nobis fere melius, quod memini, fuit; ita nitide fuimus accepti. Neque mirum; nam, ut postea dicere audivimus, ille erat architriclinus solus praeter alios. Nam ex omnibus, qui profitebantur se esse cenarum artifices, nemo erat qui minore dispendio convivas melius nitidiusque curaret. Iam cenam illam ad umbilicum dimidiatam in ventrem abstuleramus, cum architriclino nuntiatur ut prodiret. Nam poliarchos stare ad ianuam, qui eum magnopere evocarent. Surrexit ille ac prodiit. Reversus, “Scitis,” inquit, “quanam de causa poliarchi tantopere me 606 Cf. Hor. Carm. I.1.35-6: “quodsi me lyricis vatibus inseres, / sublimi feriam sidera vertice.” 607 Verg. G. III.17-8: “illi victor ego et Tyrio conspectus in ostro / centum quadriiugos agitabo ad flumina currus.” 608 Hor. Ars P. 75-6: “versibus impariter iunctis querimonia primum, post etiam inclusa est voti sententia compos.” 609 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 30) refers to Hor. Sat. I.IX.2: “Nescio quid meditans nugarum, totus in illis.” 610 de symbolis esse (or edere): to go in together (financially), or to contribute to the cost of a feast. Ter. Eun. III.ix.539-40: “Heri aliquot adulescentuli coiimus in Piraeo / in hunc diem, ut de symbolis essemus.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 31. 36 <?page no="544"?> Book Ten 545 I finished writing my letter, sealed it, and handed it to a courier. Since evening was drawing to a close and night was approaching, Gallonius brought us to the home of a certain man named Orus, where we were to eat dinner. The day before, Orus and some friends had gone in together on a feast that evening. But we didn’t have to contribute anything to the dinner because Gallonius was paying, and he made it so that we could join in free of charge. We were welcomed in so brilliant a fashion that, by God, I don’t recall anything ever having gone better for us. And it’s no wonder because, as we heard later, Orus alone was a master of the feast above all others. Of all those who profess to be masterful at hosting dinners, there was nobody who could arrange a banquet better, more brilliantly, or at a lower cost. We had already carried that feast off into our bellies halfway to its navel when the master of the feast was told to go outside, because the poliarchs were at the front door urgently calling for him. He got up and went to the door. When he came back, he said, “Do you know why the poliarchs wanted to meet with me so badly? Tomorrow they are going to host a public lunch for the two praetors, peregrinus and urbanus, in the senate house. But since they had recently blown their entire budget on buying more food than was proper, and inviting many people to their month-long banquet, they are throwing themselves on the mercy of the citizens and asking the wealthiest ones, via the district managers, to contribute to the lunch. Since they were not able to raise enough money to put on, and furnish, a feast befitting these men’s dignity, 36 <?page no="545"?> 546 Eudemia in Ten Books conventum esse cuperent? Cras publice dandum est ab illis prandium duobus praetoribus, peregrino et urbano, in buleuterio; sed quoniam his diebus liberalius quam par erat obsonando ac plures invitando, pecuniam ad menstruales epulas 611 datam totam effuderant, ad civium misericordiam confugerunt ac per magistros curiarum 612 locupletissimum quemque rogarunt ut ad prandium conferrent. Sed cum tantam pecuniam conficere non potuerint, quae sufficiat ad instruendum exornandumque pro hominum dignitate convivium, currunt ad me, quem saepius sunt experti modico sumptu solere amplam atque magnificam in speciem mensam extruere. Atque orant, obsecrant ut iis tam calamitoso tempore opitulatum adveniam ac se, buleuterium, ac populi istius nomen ex summa infamia eripiam.” Rogavit Gallonius quotnam ad eum poliarchi venissent; nam unius tantum vocem se esse visum audire. Cui, “Omnes ad me,” inquit architriclinus, “mihi supplicatum adierunt; sed ille tantum verba fecit, qui ceteris auctoritate et generis splendore antecedit. Nam cum ex tribus istis poliarchis unus sutorem, alter lapicidam patrem habuerit, solus hic est generis sui antiquitatem usque ab avo, abavo, tritavo proferens; quamobrem, ubi ille adest, ceteri mutire non audent. Sed superioribus annis res accidit quae totam nobilitatis suae causam iugulavit; sed quia eam a nobis ignorari arbitratur, pergit adhuc vana isthac nobilitatis iactatione ferocem facere ac se aliis praeponere. “Quo tempore haec urbs a Regis Geryonis exercitu direptione ferroque vastabatur, quidam primipili centurio 613 a quodam lanio, qui apud Martis aedem in foro Trullae 614 lanienam faciebat, minas quadraginta, metu mortis iniecto, detraxit. Verum morti iam proximus, ne is apud eius animum scrupulus resideret (credo, vera existimans ea quae de improborum apud inferos suppliciis ac de inexorabilibus iudicibus Minoe ac Rhadamantho memorantur), imperavit suis ut lanii illius heredibus minas quadraginta numerarent; eum autem dicebat lanium ante annos octuaginta vixisse. Ac recte numerum annorum inibat. Nam postquam haec urbs a barbaris direpta est, annus ille agebatur octuagesimus. Quod ubi viro huic nobili subolevit, nulla habita ratione maiorum, de quorum nobilitate tantopere gloriabatur, quod putaret (ac vere fortasse) genus sine re vil- 611 menstruales epulae: banquets lasting a whole month; Plaut. Capt. III.i.482-3: “dico unum ridiculum dictum de dictis melioribus / quibus solebam menstrualis epulas ante adipiscier.” 612 magister curiae: the administrative head of a municipal subdivision who manages the subdivision’s budget (e.g., district, quarter, ward, neighborhood); cf. Plaut. Aul. I.ii.107-8: “nam noster nostrae qui est magister curiae / dividere argenti dixit nummos in viros.” 613 primipilus: the chief centurion of the triarii, a division of the Roman army. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 33) refers to Liv. VII.XLI: “Primus centurio erat, quem nunc primi pili appellant.” 614 trulla: a small ladle, or dipper, for pouring wine into drinking cups. 37 <?page no="546"?> Book Ten 547 they came running to me because they have often seen that I am accustomed to putting on a large, bountiful spread that is magnificent to behold, at moderate expense. They begged and pleaded for me to come to their rescue at this disastrous juncture and to bail them, the senate, and the very people’s reputation out of the greatest disgrace.” Gallonius asked how many poliarchs had come to him, since he seemed to have heard only one person’s voice. The master of the feast responded, “They all came begging to me for help, but the poliarch who exceeds all the others in terms of authority and nobility of birth was the one who did the talking. Of the three poliarchs, one’s father is a shoemaker, and the other one’s father is a stonecutter. He is the only one who can boast the antiquity of his birth back to his grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great-great grandfather. For that reason, whenever he is present, the others don’t dare utter a word. In recent years, something happened that quashed his entire claim to nobility, but because he thinks we don’t know about it, he persists even now in his empty claims to nobility, and putting himself above the others. “At the time when this city was being destroyed by the plundering and swords of King Geryon’s army, 215 a certain captain of the vanguard took forty minae off of some butcher, who was plying his trade at the Temple of Mars in the Forum of Trulla, and put the fear of death in him. However, when this captain was close to death, and so his mind would remain untroubled (I believe because he thought that those things were true that they say about the punishments for the wicked in the underworld, and about the immovable judges Minos and Rhadamanthus), he ordered his people to pay out forty minae to the butcher’s heirs. He said, however, that the butcher lived eighty years ago, and he estimated the years correctly, because this was the eightieth year after the city had been sacked by barbarians. 216 When this nobleman here got wind of this situation, with no regard for his ancestors, whose nobility he boasted so much about, and thinking, perhaps rightly, that ancestry without money was more worthless than seaweed, he came to the man who had to pay out the money, and he made it clear, from the public records and other evidence, that he was the grandson of that butcher. And he left after he was made forty minae richer through that plan.” When he had stopped speaking, and we had finished dinner, the master 215 A reference to the 1527 Sack of Rome by the armies of Charles V. See also Eud. 1998, X n.-32. 216 1607. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 34) makes the observation that this captain would be almost one hundred years old. 37 <?page no="547"?> 548 Eudemia in Ten Books ius alga esse, 615 venit ad eum, unde illud numerandum erat argentum, ac tabulis publicis aliisque probationibus planum fecit se esse illius lanii nepotem; ac per hanc rationem quadraginta minis locupletior factus, ab eo discessit.” His dictis cenaque completa, ille poliarchis obsonatum proficiscitur; nos domum pulchre cenati et appoti cubitum ivimus. Erat dies ille, quo apparandum erat ample magnificeque in buleuterio praetoribus prandium, dies celebris ac venustatis plenus. Etenim nefas erat opificibus elaborare; quibus opera vita erat, 616 in opus ire; mercatoribus tabernas aperire, sua mercimonia exponere; solum ius erat cauponibus popinas, cauponas ac thermopolia commessatum introire volentibus patefacta atque aperta omnibus horis habere. Neque illis aut illorum ministris opus deerat. Etenim tam magnus erat adeuntium numerus, ut neque possent labori sufficere, neque edulia aut vinum poscentibus suppeditare. Strata ubique triclinia ac positae omnibus in locis mensae conspiciebantur in impluviis, in cubiculis, in viis, ante ostia. Nullus erat inter discumbentes sermo, nisi ut biberetur; provocabant sese in potationem atque alii septenis, alii denis, alii quindenis, alii etiam vicenis ludos illos cyathis committebant. 617 Erat in medio foro labrum marmoreum, amplum, latum, ingens; in hoc pastillis esculentis, quos ibi macherones vocitant, caseo ac butyro conditis ad summum expleto, infimae sortis hominibus, a summo quodam viro atque opulento, eo die datum est prandium. Ex altera vero parte fons vini meri manabat, unde, macheronibus farti, sitim expellerent. Ludi erant lepidissimi, videre hominum aviditatem, famem, ingluviem; ut raptim, ut tumultuose, ut avide proelium illud committerent; ut alius alium aut capite, aut cubito, aut pectore pelleret, aut genu, ne sibi edenti obsisteret; ut ingentes unusquisque bolos sibi in ventrem immitteret; ut prandium illud tuburcinaretur; ut avariter in se vinum ingurgitaret. Illinc post paulo in pompam delata sunt praemia iis danda, qui victores essent in cursu citati; quae praemia tria erant, pro varietate ac genere eorum, qui in illud certamen erant descensuri. Tria enim (ut dictum est supra) hominum genera ad eius diei cursum properabant: pueri, adolescentes ac senes. At simulac ab illa hominum faece atque quisquiliis conspectus est magistratus, continuo exceptus est ab eisdem effusissime faustis vocibus atque clamoribus. Quid multis moror? Nemo fere fuit in tanto civium numero, qui non eo die personam indueret, qui non tota urbe debaccharetur, qui non ludens, cantans, saltans hilarem illum sumeret diem. 615 Verg. Ecl. VII.41-2: “Immo ego Sardoniis videar tibi amarior herbis, / horridior rusco, proiecta vilior alga.” 616 Ter. Phorm. II.iii.363: “pauper, quoi opera vita erat.” 617 Plaut. Pers. V.i.771: “age, puere, ab summo septenis cyathis committe hos ludos.” 38 <?page no="548"?> Book Ten 549 of the feast headed out to do the poliarchs’ shopping. Having eaten and drunk most wonderfully, we headed home to bed. The day had arrived when the ample and magnificent luncheon was to be prepared for the praetors in the senate house, a festive day and full of pleasure. In fact, it was against the law for artisans to exert themselves, for people who toiled for a living to go to work, or for merchants to open their shops and display their merchandise. It was only legal for innkeepers to maintain their eateries, taverns, and taprooms welcoming and open at all hours, for those wishing to come in and make merry. And there was no shortage of work for these people or for their waiters. There was such a huge number of people visiting these establishments that they couldn’t keep up with the workload, and the food and wine didn’t suffice for those who wanted it. You could see dining tables and couches arranged everywhere, and tables placed in every location, in courtyards, rooms, in the streets, and in front of the doors. No words were exchanged among those reclining at the tables other than to say: “Drink up! ” Egging each other on in their bouts of drinking, some people rose to the challenge with seven cups, others ten, others fifteen, and others even twenty. In the middle of the forum was a vat made of marble that was long, wide, and capacious. In this vat, which was filled to the brim with edible bits of dough, which they call macaroni and flavor with cheese and butter, a certain important and wealthy man provides lunch on that day to the very poorest people. On the other side of the forum there was a fountain flowing with unmixed wine, where those who had stuffed themselves with the macaroni could quench their thirst. It was hilarious sport to see the men’s greed, hunger, and gluttony as they quickly, rowdily, and eagerly engage in that battle; and as one of them would beat back another with his head, elbow, chest, or knee, so he wouldn’t be blocked from eating, toss giant mouthfuls into his stomach, gobble up his lunch, and greedily pour wine down his throat. After a little while, the prizes were carried from there to the parade, to be given to those who had been named as victors in the race. There were three prizes according to the variety and type of people who were about to engage in the competition. As we said earlier, there were three categories of people who ran the race that day: boys, youths, and old men. But as soon as those dregs and rubbish of society caught sight of the magistrate, they immediately and effusively greeted him with cheers and shouting. To make a long story short, there was almost nobody in that large crowd of citizens who was not wearing a mask that day, who did not celebrate wildly throughout the entire city, and who did not spend that happy day playing, singing, and dancing. 38 <?page no="549"?> 550 Eudemia in Ten Books Postero die nihil est actum, sed paululum omnes a superiorum dierum bacchationibus, vigiliis, compotationibus ac concenationibus conquieverunt. Qui autem illum consecutus est dies, deo, cui Indici nomen erat, solemnis ac sacer, dedit nobis amplam ridendi materiam. Fuere qui dicerent eo die solitam esse piperis magnam vim inter quadruplatores delatoresque distribui; sed ex vulgi opinione magis quam quod cuiquam id compertum foret, haec fama valebat. 618 Verum ex hac vulgi opinione vir quidam summus cepit occasionem, familiaris cuiusdam sui, famae parum secundae, fidem vindicandi. Erat hic illi intimus a cubiculo, verum in suspicionem venerat quod regi cuidam barbaro, neque ita multum imperio illi foedere amicitiaque coniuncto, clam per litteras arcana omnia detegeret. Invitatus est igitur ab iis, qui erant consilii totius participes, ut secum ad aedem divo illi sacram religionis atque animi etiam causa prodiret. Erat enim illa edito atque amoeno in loco locata. Ille, qui esset ignarus quos de se ludos praebiturus esset, non negavit ac venturum se dixit. Nec mora; raedam inscendit. At ubi paululum progressus est, continuo aliae complures raedae, quae in angiportis clam dispositae latebant, callidorum ac veteratorum hominum plenae, subsecutae sunt. Quod cum ille ex strepitu rotarum animadvertisset, rogavit quidnam eae sibi raedae vellent. Cui unus, “Putasne solos nos deorum esse cultores? Aliis etiam eadem quae nobis pietas inest ac religio; properant illo quo tendimus, ut indant ignem in aram deoque illi sacrificent.” Sed simulac est ventum ad aedem, continuo qui raedis vehebantur eiecerunt se in terram et, quemadmodum in officio novorum poliarchorum fieri solet, coeperunt, detecto capite, eidem honoris gratia praeire. Ille consistere, mirari et quemnam res illa habitura esset exitum exspectare; cum videt in aditu vestibuloque templi venire sibi obviam aedituum, argenteo cum polubro piperis pleno, ipsumque rogare ut, tanquam delatorum omnium magister ac dominus, partem suam piperis non recusaret accipere. Ac tum demum ludum se esse factum intellexit et, tumidus ira ac prae pudore, ubi esset ignorans, tacitus ludificatoribus suis in turba sese subduxit, in aediculas ibi proximas immersit; et ubi primum solis discessu terris obortae sunt tenebrae, noctis beneficio occultatus domum clam rediit ac totum triduum hominum conspectum lucemque vitavit. 618 Sall. Cat. 14.7: “sed ex aliis rebus magis, quam quod quoiquam id conpertum foret, haec fama valebat.” 39 <?page no="550"?> Book Ten 551 The following day nothing happened, but everyone took a little break from the revelry, sleeplessness, drinking parties, and feasting of the previous days. The day following that one, which was a solemn day sacred to a god named Index, provided us ample fodder for laughter. There were people who said that, on that day, a large quantity of pepper is traditionally doled out to spies and informants, but this rumor prevailed more because of common lore than because anyone had verified it. Based on this common lore, however, some important man had seized the opportunity to avenge the trust he had placed in a certain servant of his, who had a less than stellar reputation. This latter was the important man’s intimate chamber servant, who had come under suspicion for secretly revealing, through letters, all of the man’s private matters to some foreign king, who was not even very closely allied via treaty or friendship to this empire. The servant was invited by men, who were in on the whole plan, to go with them to the temple that was sacred to the god Index, out of a sense of religious obligation as well as for fun, because the temple was situated high up and in a beautiful location. Because the man was unaware of the sport he was about to offer himself up for, he did not refuse and said he would go. Without delay, he climbed into a carriage. When he had traveled a short way, many other carriages, which had been secretly stationed in hiding in alleyways, and were filled with shrewd and crafty men, suddenly followed him. When he noticed this from the sound of carriage wheels, he asked what the meaning of all of those carriages was. One of the other men replied, “Do you think that we are the only ones who worship the gods? Other people feel the same sense of piety and religion as we do. They’re going to the same place we are, in order to light a fire in the temple and sacrifice to the god.” But as soon as they arrived at the temple, the men who were riding in the carriages suddenly jumped down onto the ground, and, as normally happens in the service of a newly anointed poliarch, they began to walk ahead of him out of respect with their heads uncovered. The man came to a stop, wondered, and waited to see how this matter would turn out. Then he saw, at the entrance and vestibule of the temple, the sacristan coming toward him with a silver basin full of pepper and urging him, as the master and leader of all of the informants, not to refuse to accept his share of pepper. When he finally understood that a joke had been played on him, he swelled with rage and humiliation. Not knowing where he was, he secretly hid from his mockers in a crowd of people, and he slipped into a small, nearby chapel. As soon as the sun had set and the earth was covered in shadow, hidden with the aid of night, he secretly returned home and avoided the sight of men, and the light of day, for three whole days. 39 <?page no="551"?> 552 Eudemia in Ten Books Proxima luce ad solitam hilaritatem ludumque tota civitas rediit. Et quoniam non satis liquebat cuinam ex senibus, qui biduo ante cucurrerant, palma deberetur, revocati sunt rursus in cursum. Biduo post, eadem pompa, de qua dictum est, alia tria praemia deferuntur. Haec, ceteris preciosiora, proposita erant equabus equisque, tum vernaculis, tum barbaris, ut ea in suo quisque genere sibi reciperet, qui certaminis victor pronuntiaretur. Equarum praemium adepta est una ex equili nosocomii Aesculapio dicati; equorum palmam novo atque admirabili spectaculo occupavit unus ex Coponii, equorum locatoris, stabulo. Nam cum sessoris imperiti culpa eripi sibi victoriam intellegeret, eodem excusso atque aemulis equis impetu, morsu et calce reiectis atque infra se relictis, demum victor pervenit ad calces. Postremo Numida, quem diu adversa tempestate iactatum, tertium post mensem fortuna in illud litus eiecerat, unum ex equis, quos navi advexerat, certamini obiecit. Huius tanta dicebatur esse celeritas, ut per centena millia et quinquaginta continuo cursu sibi insidentem 619 nulla fere lassitudine ferret. Itaque tantum intervallum inter ipsum atque ceteros equos interiectum erat, vix ut illi in eodem curriculo esse viderentur. Noctu nobilium liberi, regio sane ornatu, multos ad cereos 620 Troiam luserunt. Extremo eorum ludorum die ducti sumus a Gallonio illuc, ubi totum illud spatium, quod decurritur, occidit, ut liceret aspicere quemadmodum victores, eo decurso, palmam attingerent. Quo simul ac praetores cum poliarchis pervenere, praemiis in via relictis, conscenderunt partem quandam aedium ingentium, quae ad eum locum pertinebat, unde erat prospectus usque ad ultimam viam, a cursoribus obeundam; statimque ab aedium earum domino, qui dicebatur esse nobilis quidam orator, ab amplissima republica atque omnium maxima legationis iure 621 ac nomine ad dynastas missus, statim, inquam, ab eo mittuntur illis large atque ampliter munera, nobis ante eum diem incognita. Nimirum cucurbitae fere integrae, citrea, mala cydonia, Persica, pruna atque alia eiusmodi saccaro, cuius nomen vix Romae auditur, mire condita, argenteis in polubris; quae statim illi partiti sunt cum iudicibus aliisque, qui in eo comitatu aderant; unde ad nos etiam, Gallonii opera, qui plures eorum usu amicitiaque comprehensos habebat, 619 Plin. HN VIII.LXV.162: “Sarmatae longinquo itineri inedia pridie praeparant [equos], potum tantum exiguum inpertientes, atque ita per centena milia et quinquaginta continuo cursu euntibus insident.” 620 multos ad cereos: late into the night, that is, burning lots of candles for light. 621 ius legationis: the privilege or capacity to send and receive consuls and diplomats. 40 41 <?page no="552"?> Book Ten 553 The next day the entire city returned to its usual lightheartedness and games. Since it was not entirely clear which of the old men, who had competed two days before, had won first prize, they were summoned again onto the racetrack. Two days later, in the same procession we had talked about, three other prizes were awarded. These prizes, more valuable than the others, were offered to mares and stallions, both local and Berber ones, so that each one of them, who was pronounced the winner of the race in every category, could receive its prize. The winning mare came from the stable attached to the hospital dedicated to Aesculapius. The stallion that claimed first prize, in a singular and admirable showing, was from the stable of Coponius, who hires his horses out. When Coponius’s horse realized that victory was being snatched from him because of an inexperienced jockey, he bucked him off, attacked his rival horses, drove them away by biting and kicking, left them in the dust, and finally crossed the finish line victorious. Finally, a Numidian—whom Fortune had spit out onto this shore after three months, having tossed him about for a long time in inclement weather—entered one of his horses in the race that he had brought here by ship. The speed of this horse was said to be such that he could carry a rider on his back for a hundred and fifty miles without stopping and almost without getting tired. Therefore, the distance between him and the rest of the horses was so great that it hardly seemed as though they were running in the same race. At night the children of the noblemen, naturally dressed up as kings, played the Troy game 217 late into the night. On the very last day of the games, Gallonius took us to a place where the entire stretch they ran came to an end, so we could see the winners receiving their prizes at the conclusion of the race. As soon as the praetors and the poliarchs arrived, having left the prizes in the street, they ascended a part of a certain enormous villa that extended out to a place where there was a view onto the last street that the runners had to come down. Immediately, the master of the house—who was said to be a noble orator sent to the dynasts from a state that was renowned and was the greatest of all in terms of diplomatic relations and reputation—immediately, as I said, sent generous and abundant gifts to the praetors and poliarchs that were unknown to us before that day. To be sure, there were pumpkins that were almost entirely uncut, citrons, quinces, peaches, plums, and other fruits of this sort marvelously candied in sugar (a substance almost unheard of in Rome) and served in silver bowls. The praetors and poliarchs immediately shared these delicacies with the judges and others who were present in that gathering. From there, thanks to Gallonius, no small 217 A detailed description of this ceremonial equestrian contest is found in Verg. Aen. V.545- 603. 40 41 <?page no="553"?> 554 Eudemia in Ten Books pars aliqua non tenuis tanquam a fonte defluxit. Nulla unquam esca palato nostro gratior atque iucundior accessit, adeo ut quasvis alias epulas, quantumvis lautas atque magnificas, prae illa faenum esse dixerimus. Inter haec exauditur clamor ingens, equo illi barbaro plaudens, qui fuerat pridie palma donatus. Hic, equabus equisque, qui tum mixtim currebant, infra se relictis, ad calces prope devenerat. Sed inter exultationes succlamationesque populi, lubrico quodam in loco, fallente vestigia, una cum sessore prolapsus humi procubuit. Verum ante quam surgeret ac sessorem dorso reciperet, praeteritus est ab equo Ianiculi lanii, quem ille rursus in certamen produxerat, ac praemio excidit. Erant ibi mimi, qui plura in praetereuntes dicta iaculabantur; sed nullum exauditum est, nisi proletarium ac frigidum; cuiusmodi illud fuit, quod iactum est in pistorem, cui furnus et pala ex ligno, qua panis in furnum inicitur, male processerat, ac propterea decoctorum numerum auxerat, “Bono animo es! Nam quod tibi pala detraxit, furca restituet.” Atque illud alterum in pomilionem dictum, quem quidam per iocum appellabat gigantem cum ranis bella gerentem. Atque omnia eius fere generis ridicula erant, quae verbo duos sensus habente continentur; ut illud quo eunuchus illac pertransiens visus est a quodam populo commendari, cum dixit, “Subvenite huic, populares! Nam nisi vobis ‘testibus’ utatur, uxore in perpetuum prohibebitur.” Haec plerunque frigida sunt et a vilissimo quoque iactantur. Sed ineptus sim, si velim omnes eorum ineptias commemorare, quibus licitum erat ineptire. Illud vero risimus, quod gradario cursu venientem ad nos asinum aspeximus, ut praemio potiretur. Nam ex viginti ferme asinis, qui illud curriculum inierant, unus perpetuo illud tenuerat; ceteri, ut transversum aliquem angiportum adspexerant, quorum multis lata illa ac perpetua via 622 distinguitur, statim illac, sive naturali ignavia sive clamore perterriti, iter deflexerant spatioque excesserant, neque ulla vi cogi poterant ut directum illud ad praemium iter prosequerentur. Postremo bubalorum cursu tot dierum ludi completi sunt atque perfecti; qui bubali, inauratis cornibus ac multis aeneis crepitaculis ornati, tum stimulis agitati atque confossi, impellebantur in cursum. Sed cum placide potius viam ingredi quam naviter cursum capessere viderentur, neque id magnopere laborarent ii, quorum intererat, suum aliis bufalum anteire, quaesivimus quorsum 622 The Via del Corso used to be called the Via Lata. 42 43 <?page no="554"?> Book Ten 555 part of those delicacies flowed to us too, as if from a fountain, because he held many of those people in intimacy and friendship. No food had ever touched our palate more pleasingly or agreeably, and so much so that we would have said that any dish whatsoever, no matter how sumptuous or magnificent, tasted like hay in comparison to those. While this was going on, we heard a great roar of applause for the Berber horse, which had been awarded victory the day before. This horse, having left the mares and stallions behind (they were running a combined race at the time) had almost arrived at the finish line. While the people were expressing their joy and acclamation, the horse lost its footing at a slippery point in the course, and it slid and fell to the ground, together with its rider. Before it was able to get up and lift its rider on its back, however, it was overtaken by Ianiculus the butcher’s horse—which it, in turn, had passed in the race—and was deprived of the prize. There were mimes who hurled many words at passersby, but we didn’t hear anything that wasn’t base and slanderous. These were the sorts of words that were directed at a baker, whose oven, and the wooden peel he uses to put the bread in the oven, had not been functioning well, and because of that he had been added to the ranks of bankrupts: “Don’t worry! The fork will restore what your peel has taken from you! ” 218 And then there was that other comment made against a dwarf, whom, as a joke, someone had called a giant waging a war with frogs. Almost all quips of this sort, those involving double entendres, are ridiculous, like the one where someone seemed to commend to the people a eunuch who was passing by. The person said, “Fellow citizens, help this man! Unless you act as his testes, 219 he will forever be barred from taking a wife.” Many of these barbs are slanderous and are hurled by the lowest possible sorts of people. But it would be silly of me to want to recount all of those trifles with which people are given license to behave like fools. We laughed outright at the donkey we saw coming toward us, competing for the prize with its halting gait. In fact, out of the almost twenty donkeys that had entered the race, only one had kept at it without stopping. The others, when they spotted some narrow alley (and there are many that intersect that long, broad street) immediately went off in a different direction and abandoned the racetrack, either out of an inherent laziness, or because they were terrified by the noises; and no force could compel them to follow the route that led to 218 A furca, or fork, was a piece of wood in the shape of the letter A that an offender’s hands would be tied to, so he would be forced to carry it around wherever he went. This baker would be subjected to this form of punishment for his bankruptcy due to the failure of his business, which is symbolized by the peel. 219 As in Book Nine (36), this joke is based on the double entendre of the Latin word testis meaning both witness and testicle. 42 43 <?page no="555"?> 556 Eudemia in Ten Books illhaec tam insignis eorum indiligentia spectaret. Respondent nihil referre quisnam sit prior quisve posterior, donec ad calces deventum sit. Ibi enim magnam rerum commutationem fieri; nam praemio proximi, variis ignibus arte manuque factis ac magnum ex se fragorem crepitumque edentibus, perturbati atque confusi, locum numerumque mutabant; et qui erat postremus, fiebat primus, et qui primus, postremus. Palmam tulit Argyrotychi, viri primarii atque opibus, divitiis, honoribus longe praestantis bufalus, qui, nihil eo strepitu crepituque flammarum exterritus, ausus est metam attingere. Diximus quae diversorum erant temporum spectacula in aliquot dies continuos fuisse coacta. Quamobrem illud etiam post hos ludos spectaculum redditum est, cuius specie ac voluptate vulgus maxime ducitur. Id autem est vetulae (ut aiunt) serra per ventrem obducta, scissio atque diremtus. Quae fabula inde ortum habuit, quod illi homines esuriales quasdam summa religione ac caerimoniis ferias 623 celebrant, quas pueri ac mulierculae vetulam esse quandam fingunt, Esuria nomine, matrem esuritionum, foedam, strigosam, atram, incurvam, tremulam, labiis demissis, gementem. 624 Et quoniam feriae illae multos dies auferunt, cum ad earum medium perventum est, rumor tota urbe dissipatur vetulam sumi, ceteris capularem magis et Acherunticam, 625 quam Esuriae loco (cui, cum immortalis senecta contigerit, nocere non possunt) divaricatis cruribus in publico serra secent ac dividant. Et quo maior eius rei fides peregrinis fiat, quorum magnus semper numerus ex propinquis insulis in eam insulam confluit, biduo ante insigne in media platea multis e tabulis pulpitum extruunt ibique ita apte serram accommodant, ut vetula illi subiecta commode dividi bifariam posse videatur. 623 esuriales feriae: fasting holidays. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 35) refers to Plaut. Capt. III.i.468: “ita[que] venter gutturque resident esurialis ferias.” 624 Ter. Eun. II.iii.335-6: “continuo accurrit ad me, quam longe quidem, / incurvos, tremulus, labiis demissis, gemens.” 625 Plaut. Mil. III.i.627-8: “itane tibi ego videor oppido Accherunticus? / tam capularis? ” 44 <?page no="556"?> Book Ten 557 the prize. Finally, the games, which had lasted so many days, were finished and capped off with the race of the buffaloes. Those buffaloes, with their gilded horns decorated with numerous bronze bells, were urged and jabbed by spurs and driven to run. But since they seemed to enter the street calmly, rather than tackle the race with enthusiasm—and since the men who were involved didn’t put much effort into having their buffalo overtake the others—we asked what the purpose was to such great indifference on their part. They responded that it didn’t matter who was ahead and who was behind, as long as they reached the finish line. At that point there would be a significant shakeup, because the buffaloes which were closest to the prize would get spooked and confused by the various man-made artificial fireworks, which emitted a huge noise and crash, and they would switch their position and order, so the buffalo that was last would come in first, and the one that was first would come in last. The buffalo that ended up taking first prize belonged to Argyrotychus, a distinguished and outstanding man in terms of wealth, riches, and honors. His buffalo didn’t startle at the noise and crack of fireworks, and strove to reach the finish line. As we said, spectacles that would be fitting for different seasons were organized here over just a few days in a row. For this reason, a performance was staged even after the games, which drew a great crowd with its splendor and beauty. Specifically, it was a spectacle that involved, as they say, cutting an old woman and separating her in half by sawing through her waist. That tale originated because these people celebrate certain fasting holidays, 220 with the utmost religious conviction and pomp, which boys and girls picture as a little old woman named Esuria, the foul, skinny, dark, stooped, trembling, saggy-lipped, and groaning mother of all hungers. Because these festivals take up many days, when the halfway point arrives, a rumor spreads throughout the whole city that an old lady—one who is closer to the grave and to Acheron than the others—is being seized. In Esuria’s place, they stretch the old lady’s legs apart in public and cut and split her in half with a saw (they can’t harm Esuria herself because she is endowed with immortal old age). In order to make it more believable to foreign visitors, who always flock to this island in great numbers from the surrounding islands, two days before the event they build a giant wooden platform in the middle of the square, made out of many wooden planks, and they rig a saw on it in just such a way that, when the old woman is placed under it, it looks like she can readily be sawn in two. 220 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 35) notes that this is a reference to fasting during Lent. 44 <?page no="557"?> 558 Eudemia in Ten Books Neque est difficile homines simplices, et in moribus civitatis plane hospites ac rudes, in errorem inducere. Immo iis facile persuadetur hunc ibi esse morem, ut, qui scalas in eam plateam attulisset, ubi spectaculum illud erat edendum, easque parietibus plateae circumductis applicuisset, singulos earum gradus senis ac septenis etiam drachmis, cupidis spectandi locaret. Unde plures ex compitis, angiportis, tabernis conspiciebantur cum scalis bene longis emergere; atque ille sibi felicior ceteris videbatur, qui grandiorem gravioremque humeris potuisset imponere, quod maiori eam lucro sibi fore confideret. At ubi longius processerant ac propius ad forum, quo scala deferenda erat, accesserant, continuo eos lanii, pomarii, fartores, cetarii ac praesertim piscatores, 626 per quorum forum iter erat habendum, multa aqua perfundere, surpiculis piscariis 627 caedere, lanea veste, polline aut atro foedoque colore imbuta, verberare, album vel atrum ipsorum ori colorem inducere. Qui demum exterriti ac peiora metuentes, scalis abiectis, fuga salutem quaerebant. Atque hic erat eorum ludorum finis. Iam vero vocavit nos ad ingentem delectationem atque adeo ad vehementem admirationem illa eius virtus, illa vis, illa sapientia, illa eius absoluta omnibus numeris eloquentia, qui ob perfectam (ut antea diximus) omnium rerum scientiam, ob incredibilem memoriae magnitudinem, ob paratam de singulis rebus, quae in disputationem cadunt, ex tempore dicendi facultatem, veteri nomine amisso, Teras appellatur. Ingens nos olim cupido eius audiendi incesserat, sed ob brevitatem temporis, quo illic fuimus, tanta haec voluptas ab animis nostris abfuit. At tunc peroportune nobis cecidit ut eum audiremus, cum in solemni quodam sacrificio, caesis diis immortalibus hostiis et gratiis actis, suggestum conscendit atque, omnibus attente audientibus, coepit ita docte, ita eleganter, ita scienter de deorum providentia, qua mundus gubernatur, loqui, ita acriter, vehementer, perditos huius aevi mores insectari, ut non dicere, sed tonare ac fulminare, 628 non orationem, sed flammam et incendium tradere videretur. Genus dicendi acre, vehemens, incitatum 629 atque ita eius proprium, ut nemo illud imitatione posset exprimere; sententiae acutae quidem sed graves, dulces sed 626 Ter. Eun. II.ii.256-7: “concurrunt laeti mi obviam cuppedenarii omnes, / cetarii, lanii, coqui, fartores, piscatores.” 627 = scirpiculus. Plaut. Capt. IV.ii.816: “eis ego ora verberabo surpiculis piscariis.” See also Eud. 1998, X n. 36. 628 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 38) refers to Cic. Orat. IX.29: “Pericles … fulgere, tonare … dictus.” 629 Cic. De or. II. XLIII.183: “acri et vehementi quadam incitatione.” 45 46 <?page no="558"?> Book Ten 559 It is not hard to dupe people who are naive and clearly strangers to, and unschooled in, the customs of this city. On the contrary, it’s easy to convince them that it is the practice in this city that, whoever brings a ladder into the square where that spectacle is going to take place, and leans it up against the walls surrounding the square, he can rent out each rung of the ladder for six or seven drachmas to people who were eager to see the show. This is why you could see many people emerging from the crossroads, alleyways, and taverns with very long ladders; and the person who appeared happier than all the rest was the one who managed to hoist the largest and heaviest ladder on his shoulders, because he was confident it would earn him the most money. But when those people had walked a fairly long way and were approaching the square, where they were bringing their ladder, the butchers, fruit sellers, poultry sellers, fishmongers, and especially the fishermen, whose market they had to walk through, suddenly started dousing them with large quantities of water, hitting them with fish baskets, beating them with wool cloth soaked in filthy black coloring, and smearing black and white color on their faces. Terrified and fearing even worse, they threw down their ladders and sought safety in flight. This was how those games concluded. By this point, however, one man’s virtue, power, wisdom, and eloquence, perfected in every aspect, drew us into immense delight and enthusiastic admiration. On account of his accomplished knowledge in all subjects, as we mentioned earlier, his extraordinarily great memory, and his ready ability to speak extemporaneously about each and every subject that can arise in a debate, this man put aside his old name and is now called Teras. 221 We had been struck earlier with an immense desire to hear him speak, but because of the short amount of time we spent there before, our hearts missed out on so great a pleasure. But now it happily fell to us to hear him, when, during a solemn sacrifice—after the sacrificial animals had been slaughtered to the immortal gods and thanks had 221 Teras first appears in Book Seven. Rossi perhaps felt compelled to give Niccolò Riccardi more attention in this second edition than he did in Eudemiae libri VIII because of his influence, as Master of the Sacred Palace, in ensuring that Eudemia passed official muster despite its rocky reception. Rossi wrote as much to Fabio Chigi in 1642 (Ep. ad Tyrr.-1.XII) as a second edition was being considered: “In Eudemia, P[ater] Monstrum, qui librum diligenter evolverat, nihil deprehendit contineri quod cuiusquam famam laedat, vel Principis alicuius maiestatem minuat, vel fidei sanctitatem offendat, vel mores hominum corrumpat; immo multa afferri, lepida, iocosa quaeque possint, feriato a negotiis publicis, animum relaxare” (“Father Monstrum, who examined the book carefully, determined that Eudemia contained nothing detrimental to anyone’s reputation or that diminished the dignity of any prince, or anything that was offensive to the sanctity of religion or corrupting of morals; on the contrary, he determined that it contained much that was amusing, playful, and that could relax one’s mind during one’s free time”). 45 46 <?page no="559"?> 560 Eudemia in Ten Books utiles, venustae sed aptae, quaeque in animos influant. Denique nihil in eius oratione desideravimus quod in illam perfectam eloquentiae formam ac speciem 630 includatur. Aderant viri duo, omnium doctissimi, alter eiusdem quo philosophus ille instituti atque ordinis, Crepitaculo nomine, de quo mira quaedam narrabantur ac paene extra naturae ordinem; nimirum eum cursum suum transcurrisse 631 atque adeo magistrum antea quam discipulum extitisse. Nam etiam tum adolescentem ac paene puerum omnia habuisse percepta ac memoria comprehensa, quae Aristotelis omniumque philosophorum placitis continentur. Addebant eundem, adversis fortunae fluctibus diu multumque iactatum et ad varios aerumnarum scopulos miserandum in modum afflictum, demum regis potentissimi patrocinio, tanquam portu exceptum, tutam ac quietam in litterarum studiis vitam exigere. Alter vero, qui aderat, mathematicis disciplinis ad miraculum excultus esse dicebatur, unde etiam sibi opes et amicitias peperisset; verum ex oculari, quod tubum opticum vocitant, a se invento, quo res infinito propemodum intervallo a nobis disiunctae atque adeo ab aspectus iudicio remotae, oculis subiciuntur vel aliquanto maiores repraesentantur, nominis sui memoriam posteris reliquisset. Eodem tempore emanavit a poliarchis edictum ut, cum postridie mane ludi, qui Kalendis Maii dari soliti sunt, essent referendi, nemo sine aliquo flore, vel saltem sine aliquo viridi ramusculo, conspiceretur in via; quod si quis contra edictum fecisset, posset a quovis frigida impune perfundi, neque madido iniuriarum actio daretur. Itaque bonum hercle factum, pro se quisque ut meminisset quae imperata essent pro imperio poliarchico. 632 Quamobrem dabat unusquisque operam, ac novae in primis nuptae, ut pro anni tempore insignem aliquem 630 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 39) refers to Cic. Orat. XIV.43: “excellentis eloquentiae speciem et formam.” 631 Cf. Cic. Brut. LXXXI.282: “[Cyrus et Alexander] qui suum cursum transcurrerant.” 632 Plaut. Poen. Prologue 44-5: “haec quae imperata sunt pro imperio histrico, / bonum hercle factum pro se quisque ut meminerit.” In Plautus’s play this statement closes a long list of edicts issued by the speaker beginning at line 16: “bonum factum est, edicta ut servetis mea.” 47 48 <?page no="560"?> Book Ten 561 been rendered—he climbed up on a dais and, while everyone was listening attentively, began to speak so learnedly, so elegantly, and so expertly about the divine providence that governs the world. He inveighed against the degenerate morals of our age so fiercely and so vehemently that he seemed to be thundering and hurling lightning rather than speaking, and bringing forth fire and flames rather than an oration. His speaking style was passionate, forceful, accelerated, and so unique to him that nobody could recreate it through imitation. His sentences were pointed, while simultaneously also weighty, delightful, and practicable; beautiful but crafted for the purpose of influencing minds. Finally, there was nothing lacking in his speech that should be part of attaining that perfect form and likeness of eloquence. Two very learned men were present, one of whom, named Crepitaculus, was of that same institution and order as the philosopher Teras, 222 about whom some incredible things are told, almost beyond what is natural: that he clearly advanced in his career, proving himself as a teacher even before doing so as a student. It is said that, even as a young man, practically a boy, he had learned and memorized everything contained in the doctrines of Aristotle and all of the philosophers. They added that, after having been tossed about for a long time by the waves of adverse fortune and piteously dashed, against various rocks of calamity, he finally lived out a secure and serene life of literary study under the patronage of a very powerful king, as if brought into a safe harbor. The other man present was said to be wondrously trained in the mathematical disciplines, whence he acquired wealth and friendships. 223 He left to posterity the memory of his name through his invention of an eyepiece called an optical tube, with which objects that are separated from us by a seemingly infinite distance, and are out of sight, are magnified so we can see them. At that same time, since the games that were usually held the first of May were going to be moved up to the following day, the poliarchs issued a decree that nobody be seen in the street without some sort of flower, or at least without 222 Tommaso Campanella and Niccolò Riccardi both belonged to the Dominican order. 223 Galileo Galilei (1564-1642), a natural philosopher, astronomer, and mathematician who made fundamental contributions to the development of the scientific method. Galilei borrowed the concept of the telescope, originally developed by Dutch lens maker Hans Lippershey, perfected it, and was the first to put it to use for astronomical studies. He garnered great fame and had the support of Maffeo Barberini, even after Barberini became Pope. When Galileo’s Copernicanism finally got him in trouble with the Inquisition, Urban VIII and his nephew Francesco Barberini intervened to have him convicted on a minor charge, instead of being punished as a heretic (Rietbergen 2006: 370). Galileo also enjoyed the support of the intellectual community in Rome, particularly of the Accademia dei Lincei and the Accademia degli Umoristi. See also Eud. 1998, X n. 41. Rossi devotes a portrait to Galilei in his Pinacotheca. 47 48 <?page no="561"?> 562 Eudemia in Ten Books florem vel pretio vel precibus invenirent, quem capiti aut pectori insererent; ac passim tota urbe ambulabant qui gelsiminos, 633 caryophyllos, tum vernaculos tum Indicos, 634 venderent; atque allatum est ad nos caryophyllum unum vernaculum drachmis decem venisse. Ardebam cupiditate incredibili cognoscendi ex quonam genere ludorum ludi illi essent, qui tam amoeno tamque festivo Maii nomine nuncuparentur. At Gallonius, “Postridie,” inquit, “animus vobis explebitur, eorumque notitiam vestris potius oculis quam alienae linguae referetis acceptam.” Postero die laeti consurgimus, totum fere oppidum lustramus ac nullam fere domum invenimus, quae protectos lauro vel hedera postes, vel saltem recentes ante ostium cespites non haberet. Neminem offendimus qui florem vel eius loco viride quidpiam non manu gestaret. Nos quoque, ne legi fraudem faceremus neque in poenam delicti frigida perfunderemur, flosculis manus ornamus ac tuti ab iniuria buleuterium ascendimus. Ubi ante illas aedes sumptuosas atque magnificas proceram arborem, suo denudatam cortice multoque perunctam sebo, conspicimus; e cuius vertice pendebant farcimina, casei, ligulae sericae, palumbi, aviculae et alia id genus multa, quorum pretium minam non excedebat. Iam plenum erat forum, parata omnia, neque aliud exspectabatur, nisi ut a poliarchis proelii committendi signum daretur. Sed eorum unus ceteris erat in mora, qui dicebatur apud tonsorem barbam ponere et supervacuo pondere caput exonerare. 635 Huic omnes absenti multa mala ingerebant, quod humili loco natus ita se gereret, ut si longa serie regibus atque principibus esset annexus. Nam quia paululum ipsi pecuniae accesserat, ita elati erat animi, ut nunquam cum aliquo opifice, quamvis praesente, nisi per internuntium loqueretur. Verbi causa, cum tonsor barbam illi capillumque tondebat, speculum manu tenebat et, si quid a tonsore titubatum animadvertis- 633 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 42) describes gelsiminus as being both an Italianism (gelsomino) and anachronistic. Du Cange, however, does list the word, which is defined as flos. 634 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 43) refers to Plin. HN XII.XV.30: “Est etiamnum in India piperis granis simile quod vocatur caryophyllon.” The first kind of flower described in the text, caryophyllus vernaculus, is a carnation, and the second flower, caryophyllus Indicus, is a French marigold, according to Basil Besler’s large codex of botanical plates, Hortus Eystettensis ([Eichstätt & Nürnberg]: [s.n.], 1613). 635 Petron. Sat. 107: “Voluerunt enim antequam conscenderent, exonerare capita molesto et supervacuo pondere.” 49 <?page no="562"?> Book Ten 563 some form of greenery; and that if anyone went against this order, it was fair game for anybody to douse him with cold water, without the right of the soaked party to bring an iniuriarum actio. 224 It is proper, by God, that everyone keep in mind what the poliarchs have ordered by virtue of their authority. For that reason, every single person, especially new brides, took pains, either by buying or begging, to find some sort of distinctive flower appropriate to the season, which they could wear in their hair or on their bodice. People selling jasmine, carnations (both the native and the Indian variety) were walking around the entire city, and we heard that a single native carnation was going for ten drachmas. I was burning with an incredible desire to find out what sorts of games these were that were named for the lovely and festive month of May. Gallonius said, “Your wish will come true tomorrow, and you will become familiar with these games with your own eyes, rather than hearing about them from others.” The following day we happily got up, we visited almost the entire town, and we hardly came across a single house that did not have its door posts decorated in laurel or ivy, or at least had fresh sod in front of its entryway. We didn’t encounter anyone who was not carrying a flower in his hand, or some sort of greenery in place of a flower. So as not to break the law, and to avoid being doused with cold water as punishment for our crime, we too adorned our hands with little flowers, and we ascended to the senate house free from harm. In front of that splendid and magnificent building we saw a tall tree that had been stripped of its bark and greased with copious amounts of tallow. From the top of the tree hung sausages, cheeses, silk ribbons, pigeons, songbirds, and many other things of this sort, that were worth no more than one mina. 225 The forum was already packed, everything was prepared, and the only thing left to anticipate for was the poliarchs giving the signal for the contest to begin. But one of the poliarchs was holding the rest of them up, who they said was at the barbershop getting a shave and freeing his head of useless weight. Everyone was heaping many curses on him in his absence, because, though he was born to a lowly station, he acted as though he was connected to a long line of kings and princes. Because he had come into a little money, he was so arrogant that he refused to speak to any tradesmen, even ones standing right in front of him, except through an intermediary. For example, he would hold a mirror in his hand while the barber was cutting his beard and his hair, and if he noticed the 224 An actio iniuriarum, or action for delict, is a legal action Roman law brought in a case of harm, for example, to one’s bodily integrity or to one’s reputation. 225 This describes a maypole, or albero della cuccagna in Italian, which is made from a tree trunk stripped of its bark. The pole is erected for May Day festivals and functions as the centerpiece for a game that involves climbing up the pole, which is greased to increase the challenge, to reach food that is tied to the top. See also Giachino 2002: 209. 49 <?page no="563"?> 564 Eudemia in Ten Books set, puerum, qui erat ipsi a cubiculo quique in proximo conclavi eius imperia praestolabatur, evocabat atque, “Heus tu,” aiebat, “dic tonsori ut genis barbam altius resecet.” Quod cum fecisset, rursus eum revocabat atque, “Heus tu, dic tonsori prolixius mihi mento barbam effluere, proinde paululum ferro coerceat.” Eundem morem servabat in sutore, cum novi illi calcei afferrentur. Nam eo praesente atque audiente, puerum, qui semper in aliud cubiculum secedebat, his verbis evocabat, “Heus tu! ” Cui, cum praesto esset, aiebat, “Dic sutori calceum hunc dextero pedi non ita apte haerere, sed eo esse aliquanto laxiorem; proinde videat unde error emanet atque illum corrigat.” In pauca ut conferam: nunquam visus est cum opifice aliquo, quamvis praesente (ut dixi) nisi per interpretem loqui. Qui tandem diu exspectatus, lepide tonsus eleganterque calceatus, aliis poliarchis stomachantibus adfuit. Nec mora; poliarchi omnes populo se in conspectum dant in maeniana tapetiis pulchre vestita atque ornata; qui simul aspecti et excepti sunt populi clamore, tympanorum strepitu tubarumque sono. Tum, signo dato, veniunt in medium in veste linea, qui parati erant Maium (id illi arbori erat nomen) scandere, divisi in classes quatuor ex ultima plebe conflatas. Fit pugna inter eos et contentio, quinam primum arborem illam accedant eamque conscendant. Res agitur pugnis, colaphis, calcibus, cubito, genu, pede. Itaque se invicem urgebant, pellebant, verberabant, supplantabant; alter alteri os, caput, collum feriebat, contundebat, commitigabat, ut nullum autumno pomum sit aeque mite, ut illorum erant ora et capita pugnis mitia ac mollia. Denique, unusquisque erat alteri pro gymnasio, 636 in quo ille verberando se exerceret. Atque haec omnia ad populi sibilos, ad tubarum sonum, ad tympanorum strepitum fiebant. At quae pars, reiectis aliis, superior discesserat, Maium ambiebat. Tum unus, ceteris audacior ac promtior, manibus, genibus, pedibus eidem advolutus, conabatur sursum ascendere. Sequebantur alii ex eodem grege, cum castulis ac sacculis plenis arenae, cuius ope auxilioque tentabat ille, an trunco illi, nodis vacuo ac sapo (ut diximus) delibuto, manibus posset haerere. Ac saepe fiebat ut, qui ad verticem usque se contulisset, statim deorsum omnium cum risu relaberetur. Sed cum tandem unus prope rependo ad summum arboris egressus, potuit ramos ibi prominentes manibus apprehendere, confestim, in signum victoriae, uni ex avibus ibidem alligatis vincula demere ac facere potestatem avolandi quo vellet, deinde pendentia indidem praemia per vim evellere, rapere, sociis tradere. Postremo direptis rebus omnibus et in culeos ablatis, omnes eius gregis, ovantibus 636 gymmasio 1645 50 <?page no="564"?> Book Ten 565 barber hesitating at all, he would call to the boy, who was his chamber servant and was standing in the next room ready to obey his commands, saying, “You there! Tell the barber to trim my beard with a higher cheek line.” When the boy did that, he would call him back and say, “You there! Tell the barber my beard has grown a bit too long on my chin, so he needs to tame it a smidge with his razor.” He took the same attitude with his cobbler when he had new shoes delivered. Even if the cobbler was present and listening, the poliarch would summon the boy, who, as always, had withdrawn into the next room, and he would say to him when he came, “You there! Tell the cobbler this shoe doesn’t fit my right foot very well, but is a bit loose. He needs to figure out the source of the problem and fix it.” To make a long story short, he has never been seen speaking to any tradesmen, even one right in front of him, as I said, unless it was through an intermediary. After making everyone wait a long time, he finally arrived with the other poliarchs (who were irritated), clean-shaven and elegantly shod. Without delay, all of the poliarchs appeared before the people on balconies, which were beautifully covered and decorated with tapestries, where they were immediately seen and greeted by public applause, the crash of drums, and the blaring of trumpets. When the poliarchs give the signal, the contestants, who are dressed in linen, appear before the crowd ready to climb the May Tree (that is what the tree was called) and are divided into four teams made up of people from the lowest classes. They fight and compete among themselves for who will be the first to reach the tree and climb it. The game proceeds with hitting, punching, kicking, and striking each other with elbows, knees, and feet; they rushed forward by turns, pushing, hitting, tripping each other up, some hitting others in the face, head, and neck, and beating each other to a pulp. They tenderized each other so much that no autumn apple was as ripe as their faces and heads were after being ripened and softened by blows. In short, each one served as a boxing gym for the other, where they trained to fight each other. All of this was accompanied by people whistling, trumpet sounds, and beating drums. The team that emerged victorious, after leaving all of the others behind, surrounded the May Tree. Next, one of them, who was bolder or quicker than the others, wrapped himself around the May Tree with his hands, feet, and knees and attempted to climb to the top. Others from his same team followed with aprons and bags full of sand. Using the sand as an aid, the man tried to hold on with his hands to the trunk, which was stripped of any knots and, as I said, smeared with grease. It happened frequently that, once he had managed to get all the way to the top, he would immediately slide all the way back down, to everyone’s amusement. When one of them had finally reached all the way to the top by practically crawling up the tree, he was able to grab onto the branches, which were sticking out, with his hands, and, as a sign of victory, he would im- 50 <?page no="565"?> 566 Eudemia in Ten Books similes, discedebant seque aliquo in popinam immergebant, neque ad vesperam usque edendi potandique finem faciebant. Interea magnum nos desiderium ceperat amicorum, quos domi reliqueramus; ac me praesertim Aristidis conveniendi, videndi amplectendique cupido ingens incesserat, cuius amoenissimum suburbanum cum eo saepius adieram, ibique ad omnem animi remissionem ludumque descenderam. Cuius cum mihi veniret in mentem et anni tempus lepidissimum, nimirum autumnus, miram eius inspiciundi perfruendique voluntatem iniceret, angebat animi, quod tantam mihi voluptatem locorum intervalla praeriperent. Sed ceteris spes reversionis leviorem eam molestiam efficiebat. Itaque, cum antea scripsissem nos illuc brevi adfuturos, his cum eo versibus lusi: “Nunc tua nunc tempus lepido nitidissima vultu rura fere totos concelebrare dies, mensibus autumni laetis cum vinea sulcis ipsa suas gremio divite iactat opes, nectare cum liquido vel plenis uva racemis 5 albet, vel Tyrio murice 637 tincta rubet; arboribus pendent curvi cum pondere rami ac niveos ficus puniceosque ferunt, pomaque virgineum frontis referentia cultum ac tectas pingui veste virente nuces. 10 Eia age, formosi pateant mihi ruris honores, neve obsit durus ianitor ante fores 638 ; vel tecum raeda de more invectus, amoenam ingrediar villam subsiliamque nemus. Et qua subiectos prospectat collis in agros, 15 vel Iovis aeterni regia tecta videt, 637 Tib. II.IV.28: “et niveam Tyrio murice tingit ovem.” 638 Tib. I.I.56: “et sedeo duras ianitor ante fores.” 51 52 <?page no="566"?> Book Ten 567 mediately remove the ribbon from one of the birds that were tied up there and let it fly away wherever it wanted; after which he would pull off the prizes, by force, that were hanging from the branches, grab hold of them, and hand them to his teammates. Finally, when all of the prizes had been claimed, divvied up, and carried away in bags, everyone on that team would depart victorious, duck into a tavern somewhere, and wouldn’t stop eating and drinking until evening. In the meantime, an enormous longing for our friends took hold of us, whom we had left behind at home. I experienced a particularly strong desire to meet with, see, and embrace Aristides, whose very charming country home I had visited with him often, engaging there in all manner of relaxation and sport. When I started thinking about him, and when that most beautiful time of year— autumn, of course—brought about an extraordinary desire to see and enjoy him, my heart ached because the great distance between us was keeping such delight away from me. But the hope of returning was making that particular trouble easier to bear than the rest. Therefore, since I had written him before that we would soon be back, I entertained him with these verses: “Now is the season to frequent your countryside all day long, delightful with its charming aspect, while in these autumn months the vine, in its happy furrows, produces riches from its fertile bosom; whether the grape, in its full clusters, turns white with limpid nectar, or turns red stained with Tyrian purple dye; branches hang from the trees, bending under their weight; fig trees bear snow-white or crimson figs; apples remind us of the bloom of a maiden’s cheek; and nuts are covered in their thick, green cloak. Come now, let the beautiful rewards of the countryside show themselves to me, and let a stern gatekeeper not keep me outside your door; or, riding with you in a carriage, as is our custom, let me enter your beautiful country estate and plunge into the forest. There, where the hill looks down onto the fields below, or sees the royal dwelling of eternal Jove, or where a magnificent fountain splashes with flowing waves and many fish swim around its wide basin, or while birds sing their song, with their delicate throats, in the shade of a spreading beech or leafy vine, I would gladly observe you, I would attend your sweet speech and would listen intently to your words, whether you are perusing handsome volumes of Cicero, rereading the cultivated poems of a learned man, or listening intently for whether my Europa poem, divided into five acts, sounds sweeter in your brilliant mouth—that poem that I completed a short while ago at the behest of you alone, at whose disposal I entirely place my talents. Let Alexander be there—unless detestable work will not permit it—and let him drink in, with avid ears, whatever you read aloud. He very much liked Plautine rhythms, jesting, and countless witticisms and, when you recited them, they seemed to have been far more delightful, because, as I recall, your voice possesses such grace. I was imitating a snarling puppy with my expression, so often did laughter control my 51 52 <?page no="567"?> 568 Eudemia in Ten Books aut ubi conspicuus liquidis fons obstrepit undis, plurimus et laxo piscis in orbe natat, vel patulae fagi, frondosae aut vitis in umbra, dum recinunt tenui gutture carmen aves, 20 te spectem gaudens, adsim tibi dulce loquenti, et cupidas aures ad tua dicta feram, vel si percurras speciosa volumina Tulli, vel relegas docti carmina culta viri, Europae aut quinos deductum carmen in actus 25 si resonet claro dulcius ore tuo, carmen quod dudum, sic te mandante, peregi, cui soli ingenium serviet omne meum. Adsit Alexander (ni invisa negocia nolint) quodque leges, avidis auribus ipse bibat, 30 cui tam Plautini numeri placuere iocique, innumeri cuius, te referente, sales longe maiorem sunt visi habuisse leporem; tanta tuae, memini, gratia vocis erat, iratamque mea est facies imitata catellam, 35 libera dum risus detinet ora frequens. Intermissa igitur repetamus gaudia ruris, et properet risus, ludus, amorque, iocus.” Proximus iam dies illuxerat et, cum etiam tum in lecto essemus, audimus evocari a ianua Gallonium. Hic erat amicus quidam eius summus atque sodalis, qui introductus magna vi petere a Gallonio coepit ut domum suam veniret equos ligneos spectatum, qui eo die liquido erant in stadio decursuri; ubi etiam paratum erat prandium, ut assolet in his ludorum celebritatibus. Etenim nullam fere esse domum, unde ludi illi spectari iucundius possent. Nam se dedisse operam ut inde prospectus ad metam usque pateret, ad quam esset decurrendum. Proinde manum daret et sequeretur. Gallonius hospitii iura obiecit; nunquam enim se commissurum dicens, ut nos relinqueret, quo foras commissatum abiret. “Immo,” ait ille, “duc tecum etiam hospites. Atque adeo, ut tu sis sciens, 53 <?page no="568"?> Book Ten 569 frank mouth. Therefore, let us seek out once again the delights of the country that we had put aside, and let laughter, play, love, and jesting come quickly.” The following day had already dawned and, while we were still in bed, we heard someone at the door calling for Gallonius. A great friend and associate of his had arrived who, when he was invited in, began energetically to get Gallonius to come to his house to watch some wooden horses that were going to race that day on a watery racetrack, and where lunch had even been prepared, as is customary for the festivities surrounding the games. Indeed, he said that there was almost no house where they would have more fun watching the games, because he made sure that his view looked out onto the finish line where the race would be run. Therefore, Gallonius should acquiesce and follow him. Gallonius invoked the bonds of hospitality, saying that he would never agree to abandon 53 <?page no="569"?> 570 Eudemia in Ten Books nunquam pedem hinc efferam, nisi promiseris teque una cum illis venturum constitueris.” - “Placide! ” inquit Gallonius. “Abstine ab ira; nihil opus est minis, si duobus istis hospitibus meis futurus est apud te locus. Quin insanirem, capital facerem, si, relicta tua Cereali mensa, 639 meam quotidianam inopemque persequerer. Nolo tanto me scelere obstringere, nolo tantam ventri meo iniuriam damnumque conflare. Quamobrem, si non es occupatus, si non est molestum, si lubet, tantisper mane, dum isti se lavent, vestiant, poliant. Tum ultro dabimus ipsi nos tibi tanquam iudicatos, ut vincias, ducas, rostrisque ad mensam tuam pollucibilem alliges.” Tum ille, “Satis verborum est,” ait. ”Quanto facias rectius, si agas quod agis 640 ac properes venire! It dies ac me necesse est domi quamprimum adesse.” Sumptoque in manus Virgilio, coepit clara voce ludos in Anchisae honorem editos legere. Nos interim quaerimus de Gallonio, quinam sint isti equi lignei et quaenam sint viae liquidae per quas illis decurrendum esset. Respondet omnis generis navigia hoc ab eis nomine appellari, quod iis non minus per liquidas caeruleasque vias 641 vehamur quam mannis et canteriis per itinera sicca atque terrestria. “Hodie,” inquit, “propositis praemiis, futurum est piscatores inter certamen, uter eorum sua vectus horia, 642 Albam (quod est flumen intra urbis moenia fluens) excurrerit ac metam attigerit. Delectabit vos istos etiam ludos adspicere atque apud amnem frigidissimum molestos istos intempestivosque calores abigere, qui hoc tempore autumni desaeviunt.” - “Eamus,” inquit Paulus Aemilius. “Gestio ab hoc etiam ludorum genere voluptatem mihi parare.” Tum Gallonius, “Amice, ubi vis,” ait, “duc nos quo lubet; iam tibi nulla, neque in me neque in istis, est mora.” Itaque ille praeire, nos sequi. Sed simulac e limine pedem extulimus, fit nobis obviam quidam pallio ad talos usque demisso obvolutus, qui quamvis se conaretur occultare, non potuit tamen Gallonii notitiae subducere. Qui, “Dii boni,” inquit, “ubi sunt circumpedes, quibus iste stipatus incedebat? Quonam, obsecro, evolarunt? Ubi 639 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 44) refers to Plaut. Men. I.i.100-1: “ipsus escae maxumae / Cerealis cenas dat, ita mensas exstruit.” 640 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 45) refers to Plaut. Epid. II.ii.284: “tum tu igitur calide quicquid acturu’s age” and Cic. Off. I.XXVII.94: “Agere quod agas.” 641 The Tiber is described as blue in Verg. Aen. VIII.64: “caeruleus Thybris, caelo gratissimus amnis.” 642 For horia, which he defines as navicula piscatoria, IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 47) refers to Nonius 533.20 and to Plaut. Rud. IV.ii.910-11: “horiae, quae in mari fluctuoso / piscatu novo me uberi compotivit.” 54 <?page no="570"?> Book Ten 571 us and leave to go to a party away from the house. “By all means,” the man said. “Bring your guests with you as well. And just so you know, I myself will not set foot out of this house unless you promise and commit to come with them.” - “Calm down,” said Gallonius, “and don’t be angry. Threats are unnecessary if there is room at your house for these two guests of mine. It would indeed be mad, and I would be committing a capital offense, if I forewent your dinner tables fit for Ceres in favor of my own everyday, meager table. I don’t want to implicate myself in such a crime, and I don’t want to cause such injury and loss to my own belly. Therefore, if you are not busy, if it’s no trouble, and if it’s your wish, wait here until my guests wash, dress, and get ready. Then we will turn ourselves in voluntarily, as if we had been sentenced, so you can cuff us, lead us away, and tie us by our snouts to your bountiful table.” Then he said, “Enough talking. You’d be acting much more appropriately if you did what needs to be done and came quickly! The day is flying by, and I need to be home as soon as possible.” He picked up a book of Virgil and began reading aloud about the games that were put on in honor of Anchises. 226 In the meantime, we asked Gallonius what these wooden horses were and what the watery racetrack was that they were to race on. Gallonius replied that they referred to all kinds of boats by that term, because they ferry us along the city’s blue waterways, no less often than ponies and geldings carry us along dry roads on land. He said, “There will be a competition among fishermen today, complete with prizes, to see who can cross the Alba 227 (the river that flows within the city walls) in his fishing boat and reach the finish line. You will enjoy seeing these games too, as well as keeping the disagreeable and unseasonable heat, which is fierce in autumn, at bay on the banks of the very cool river.” - “Let’s go,” said Paulus Aemilius. “I’m eager to experience the delight of this type of game.” Gallonius replied, “Take us wherever you like, my friend, whenever you wish. At this point neither I nor these two will cause you any delay.” He went ahead, and we followed after. As soon as we set foot outside the house, we encountered a man wrapped in a cloak that hung all the way down to his ankles. Although he tried to hide, he was unable to escape Gallonius’s notice. Gallonius said, “Good gods, where are the servants that usually surround him as he walks about? Tell me, where did they all run off to? Where is the carriage he rides in? Where on earth has it been banished to? ” His friend replied, “Listen up, it’s a ridiculous story. This man earned almost three large talents, both from the money he got by hiring out his own services for other people’s affairs, and from the income he collected 226 A reference to Verg. Aen. V.104-603. See also Eud. 1998, X n. 46. 227 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 47) notes that Albula was the legendary ancient name for the Tiber (see also Richardson 1992: 399). 54 <?page no="571"?> 572 Eudemia in Ten Books est raeda, qua vehebatur, quonam gentium exulatum abivit? ” - “Audi,” inquit amicus, “res est ridicula. Hic tum ex mercede quam locandis ad aliena negotia operis suis exegerat, tum ex fructibus quos ex pingui sacerdotio collegerat, ac praesertim ex eo quod suum defraudans genium, 643 comparserat annuos sibi redditus, talenta ad tria magna pepererat. Sed cum partae opes atque divitiae aliam sibi viderentur vitam, alios mores exposcere, ut esset in quo eas posset honeste profundere, obtinuit ut pullatos inter epistatas 644 cooptaretur. Ac statim coepit obolis duodenis obsonare, cum quinis antea soleret. Tum circumpedes, qui ipsum sectarentur, quatuor mercede conduxit, raedam paravit, aedes invenit, instruxit, ornavit, quae adeptum honorem in primis decerent. Sed deinde in otio magnitudinem sumptus cum animo suo reputans, quo lacerari rem suam videbat et augeri alienam, 645 coepit stultitiae ipsum suae poenitere, hominum ambitiones exsecrari, veterem statum cupere revocare, si posset, ac dicere, ‘Quid ego egi? In quod me conieci malum? Perii miser.’ Ne multa: ex aegritudine in morbum incidit. Arcessitur medicus, adest, apprehendit aegro brachium atque ex venis, aequalibus intervallis sese moventibus, omnem comperit ab eo febrim abesse. Sed qui probe hominem nosset, statim quo genere morbi laboraret invenit atque, ‘Huius,’ inquit, ‘morbi causam reperisse me arbitror, sed in manu tua est vim eius effugere. Nam si circumpedes duos domo quantum potest extrudas, si paucioribus obolis obsones, maximam tibi huius aegritudinis partem praecideris.’ - ‘Ita me dii ament,’ inquit ille, ‘ut tu medicus es praeter ceteros; immo bonus poteras esse ariolus. 646 Bene, docte, prudenter! Id mihi aegre est, id mihi dolet; perge.’ - ‘Iam vero,’ subicit medicus, ‘si circumpedes omnes in malam rem iubeas abire, si sumtibus parcas quos facis in raeda, si veterem in reliquo victu abstinentiam revoces, omnes tibi e corpore morbi maculas eximes. Secus enim, nego te posse sanari.’ - ‘Hui medicum elegantem! ’ exclamat. ‘Nemo poterat melius medicinam facere. Iam non Hippocratis modo sapientiam, sed ipsum etiam in te Hippocratem immigrasse adigor, ut credam. Vah, quanta vis doctrinae! Quantus rei medicae usus! Iam mehercule sic agamus, morbi causae removeantur.’ Nec dimisit tempus; nam proscripsit illico raedam, equos produxit ac vendidit, domum, dimissis famulis, vacuam fecit, mensam longius sumptu progressam ad veteris parsimoniae rationem revocavit.” 643 Cf. Ter. Phorm. I.i.44: “suom defrudans genium compersit miser.” 644 I disagree with IJsewijn’s (Eud. 1998, X n. 48) proposed meaning of people who commit faux pas, where he gives the example of a passage in Sid. Apoll. Epist. 5.7.4: “hi sunt, qui novis opibus ebrii, ut et minima cognoscas, per utendi intemperantiam produnt imperitiam possidendi; nam libenter incedunt armati ad epulas, albati ad exsequias, pelliti ad ecclesias, pullati ad nuptias, castorinati ad litanias.” 645 Plaut. Merc. I.i.48: “lacerari valide suam rem, illius augerier.” 646 = hariolus <?page no="572"?> Book Ten 573 from his comfortable priestly office; and especially from saving up his annual earnings by denying his own pleasures. But when the wealth and riches he had accrued seemed to demand a different lifestyle and habits, so he would have something to lavish his wealth upon properly, he succeeded in being admitted to the class of the nouveaux riches, so to speak. He immediately began spending twelve obols on food, whereas before he normally spent five. Then he hired four servants to attend to him, he procured a carriage, and he found, furnished, and decorated a house that was especially suitable for the position he had achieved. Later on, reflecting at leisure on the size of his expenditures, and seeing his own estate diminishing while that of others was increasing, he started feeling ashamed of his own stupidity, cursing men’s greed, longing, if possible, to return to his former life, and saying, ‘What have I done? What misfortune have I brought upon myself? Poor me, I’m done for! ’ To make a long story short, he fell ill from grief. The doctor was summoned. He arrived, took hold of the man’s arm, and assessed, from feeling the man’s veins pulsing at regular intervals, that he was completely free from fever. Because the doctor knew the man well, he immediately ascertained what sort of illness he was suffering from, and he said, ‘I think I have discovered the cause of your illness; but it is in your power to escape its control. If you throw your two servants out of your house forthwith, and if you spend less money on food, you will excise the largest part of your sickness.’ - ‘As truly as the gods love me,’ the man said, ‘you are a doctor above all others. Indeed, you could have been a good prophet. You have spoken well, wisely, and sensibly! That is what’s wrong with me; that is what ails me. Please proceed.’ - ‘Indeed,’ continued the doctor, ‘if you send all of your servants packing, if you cut back the expense of your carriage, and if you resume your former abstinence in the other areas of your life, you will remove every blemish of sickness from your body. But if you don’t, I do not think you can be cured.’ - ‘You are a fine doctor! ’ the man exclaimed. ‘Nobody could have practiced medicine any better. It is not just the wisdom of Hippocrates that has entered you, but Hippocrates himself, I think. Oh, how learned you are! How experienced in medicine! Let me do as you say, let the causes of my illness be removed.’ He wasted no time. He gave up his carriage on the spot; he brought his horses out and sold them; he dismissed his servants and emptied out his house; and he returned his table, which had grown far too costly, back to its former frugal state.” <?page no="573"?> 574 Eudemia in Ten Books Dum haec maxime loquitur, venimus ad aedes in fluminis ripa locatas, amoenas sane atque affabre factas, ubi qua parte a flumine alluuntur, facta ab aedilibus potestate, maeniana ille temporaria, sericis intenta velis, extruxerat, unde non solum erat prospectus in flumen, verum etiam in nemora, colles atque vineta, quae in adversa ripa virebant. Diu aspectus ille iucundissimus oculos nostros detinuit ac pavit; sed nondum expletos saturatosque proximum ad se conclave attraxit lucidum, elegans, ornatum, ubi paratum erat ample magnificeque convivium. Sed dum tabulas pictas suspicimus, dum signa ex aere ac marmore laudamus, dum varios sermones caedimus, magna diei pars labitur, hiraeque latrantes coeperunt nos prandii admonere. Ac prior dominus domus, “Cur,” inquit, “diei nocemus? 647 Cur non imus accubitum? Iam paratum est prandium; iam ii, quibus paratum est, adsunt.” Qua eius voce compulsi lectos inscendimus, prandium inimus ea ciborum turba refertum, ut quid potissimum sumeres, ignorares. At nos, ceteris praetermissis, unumquodque quod erat bellissimum, carpsimus. Sed postquam bibendi, vescendi fabulandique nos satias cepit, surgimus et ad maeniana contendimus, commodum cum ad flumen iuventus natandi causa conflueret. Quorum iuvenum is erat numerus, ut iniri vix posset; ac detractis sibi vestibus, fere omnes saltu vel ex cymbis vel ex saxis sese iaciebant in amnem, unde alii capite, alii pube, alii crurum tenus exstabant, alii supinabant sese ac cubantibus similes ferri secundo amne sinebant. Sed cum iam calores magna ex parte remisissent, ab omni fluminis parte lembi, cymbae, lintres, scaphae tanquam ex abdito emerserunt coeperuntque ultro citroque discurrere, atque aliae, protectae velis vel viridis, vel crocei, vel caerulei coloris a remigibus pellebantur varia atque eleganti veste indutis. Aliae symphoniacos, aliae musicae peritos artis suavissima canentes voce deferebant; aliae tympanotribas, tubicines, cornicines evehebant; aliae peregrino milites habitu gladiis Persicis succinctos 648 deportabant, qui navigium identidem statuentes ad tibiae cantum ludicrum armorum certamen exhibebant; aliae hilares, ludentes, vino genioque indulgentes ac permistos feminis viros continebant. Inter haec omnia maius quoddam navigium, onerariae par navi, adverso flumine veniens aspicitur et (quod erat admirabile) neque remiges neque remi patebant, quorum illud impetu pulsuque 647 Plaut. Curc. II.iii.352: “nec diem decet [me] morari, nec nocti nocerier.” 648 A type of dagger or short sword; cf. Hdt. VII.54: “Περσικὸν ξίφος, τὸν ἀκινάκην καλέουσι” (“a Persian sword, which they call akinakes”). 55 56 <?page no="574"?> Book Ten 575 While Gallonius’s friend was enthusiastically telling this story, we arrived at his villa, which was located on the banks of the river and was beautiful and skillfully constructed. 228 Where the river lapped up against it, he had constructed (with the permission of the aediles) a temporary loggia, stretched over with silk coverings, that looked out not only onto the river but also onto the groves of trees, hills, and vineyards that were flourishing on the other side of the river. That most beautiful sight held and nourished our gaze for a long time. But our eyes had not yet been filled and sated when the next room over, which was bright, elegant, and ornate, called us to where a banquet had been abundantly and magnificently prepared. While we were looking up at the paintings, praising the bronze and marble statues, and chatting away on various topics, most of the day slipped away, and our barking, empty stomachs began reminding us it was time for lunch. Before that, the master of the house said, “Why waste the day? Why don’t we go recline at the table? Lunch is already prepared, and those for whom it was prepared have already arrived.” Urged on by his words, we climbed up on the dining couches and tucked into the lunch, which was full of such a multitude of dishes that you didn’t know what to try first. Passing up all of the other kinds, we tasted each one of the very best dishes. After we had reached satiety with drinking, eating, and talking, we got up and headed to the loggia just when young men were starting to flock to the river to go swimming. So great was the number of youths that they could barely be counted. After taking off their clothes, just about all of them dove into the river, either from boats or from rocks, where some stood in the water up to their head, groin, or legs, while others floated on their backs, as if asleep, and let themselves be carried along by the river’s current. But when the heat of the day had largely abated, yachts, dinghies, rowboats, and skiffs emerged—from every direction on the river and seemingly out of nowhere—and began racing back and forth. Other boats, covered with green, yellow, or blue canopies, were being rowed by oarsmen dressed in colorful and elegant clothing. Some boats were carrying orchestras, others were carrying skilled singers that sang with the sweetest voic- 228 The Villa Farnesina in Trastevere. Built in 1510 for Agostino Chigi, wealthy Sienese banker and great uncle of Fabio Chigi (Alexander VII), the villa was designed and decorated by the Sienese artist Baldassarre Peruzzi. To decorate his villa, Chigi commissioned frescoes by preeminent artists, most famously Raphael, whose work depicts the triumph of Galatea and the myth of Cupid and Psyche. The beautiful gardens boasted a dining loggia, used for summer parties, that was detached from the house and sat directly on the banks of the Tiber in the northeast corner of the property (it was destroyed in the flood of 1557). For a detailed description of the architectural plan of the villa, including its decorations and the dining loggia, see Coffin 1979: 87-110. This identification disagrees with IJsewijn’s (Eud. 1998, X n. 49), who identifies this villa as the Basilica of San Giovanni dei Fiorentini, located on a bend in the Tiber. 55 56 <?page no="575"?> 576 Eudemia in Ten Books promoveretur. Quod navigium non procul a nobis quasdam ante aedes constitit, ubi Dynasta Parthenius ludos illos spectare dicebatur. Nec mora; pugiles ad viginti in stega apparuere, ibique pugilatum inceperunt; qui ita strenuam, ita fortem operam dederunt, ut eorum nemo, quamvis male caestibus contusus, ingemisceret. 649 His defessis ac prope ad languorem datis, successere totidem alii integri atque recentes. Hi luctatores erant validi atque robusti, quos praemii spes in pugnam attraxerat, ac nudi atque peruncti, dum initium luctae daretur, exspectabant, cum tandem eorum unus, sorte ductus, cum altero, qui se obtulerat, prior sese composuit. Lex certaminis erat eiusmodi, ut, qui ex aliquo pari adversarium, atque alios vicissim duos, ad terram deiecisset, certum in locum secederet, tantisper, dum alii de tribus itidem victores evasissent, tum, cum eorum unoquoque singulatim depugnaret ac, si eos ad unum omnes profligasset, praemio potiretur; sin minus, illud eius esset, qui ceteris ad terram abiectis rectus extitisset. Atqui videre erat alios, summa totius corporis firmitate complicatos brachiis, tanquam laqueis, adversarios profligare atque prosternere; alios, suis diffisos viribus, eosdem dolis supplantare atque subvertere. At ubi quisquam alteri succubuerat, continuo praesto erat unus cum vini cyatho, quem victus victori propinabat. Id erat conciliatae inter ipsos gratiae significatio. His ludis expletis, quo artificio navis illa prodierat, eodem abscessit. Ac novum quoddam ludi genus inchoatum est, nobis antea incognitum. Pendebat in medio funis, ad utramque fluminis partem alligati, per pedes anser futurus praemium illius, qui avulsum a reliquo corpore eiusdem collum retulisset; quod cum natatores multi, suis cymbis evecti, saepius conarentur, minus assequi poterant. Nam partim anseris collum apprehendere, partim illud nequibant abrumpere; ac fiebat ut isti, diu in aere dependentes ac sua corporis mole deorsum abrepti, vel in cymbas vel in profluentem omnium cum risu devolverentur. 649 Cic. Tusc. II.XVII.40: “pugiles caestibus contusi ne ingemescunt quidem.” 57 <?page no="576"?> Book Ten 577 es, while still others were transporting musicians playing tambourines, flutes, and horns. Other boats were carrying soldiers, dressed in foreign uniforms and wearing Persian-style swords, who repeatedly brought their boat to a stop and performed sword fights to the accompaniment of flute music. Other boats carried both men and women together, who were playing happily and indulging in wine and entertainment. While all of this was going on, we spotted a somewhat larger vessel, the size of a cargo ship, traveling upriver. The amazing thing was that there were no visible oarsmen or oars propelling the galley forward with their strength or strokes. The galley moored in front of a mansion not far from us, where Dynast Parthenius was said to be watching the games. Without delay, around twenty boxers appeared on the deck of the galley and began sparring. They were so vigorous and strong that not a single one of them groaned in pain, even though he had been badly pummeled with boxing gloves. When these men got tired and almost faint, an equal number of fresh and rested fighters replaced them. These were strong and powerful wrestlers, who were drawn to the contest by the hope of winning a prize. Naked and slathered in oil, they were waiting for the fight to commence when, finally, one of them, who was chosen by lot, was the first to challenge another one, who volunteered to be his opponent. The rules of the fight were that, from each pair, whoever threw his opponent to the ground, plus two additional men, that person would withdraw somewhere until other winners emerged after defeating three people themselves. Then, once each one of those winners had fought each other in turn, whoever managed to defeat all of the others, that person would win the prize. If not, the prize would go to the last person standing after everyone else had been thrown to the ground. And you could see still others, their entire bodies extremely strong, encircling their opponent with their arms, as if in a snare, and overwhelming him and bringing him down. There were others who didn’t rely on their physical strength but were tripping up their opponents and overthrowing them with tricks. Whenever any one of them surrendered to another, there was immediately someone at the ready with a glass of wine, with which the loser would toast the winner. This served as a gesture of reconciliation between them. When these games had concluded, the ship departed with the same illusion as it had appeared, and a new sort of game began, which we had never seen before. A goose was hung by its feet at the midpoint of a rope that was anchored on each bank of the river. It would serve as the prize for whoever brought back its neck torn from the rest of its body. While many of the swimmers approached in their boats and made frequent attempts, they weren’t able to succeed. Some of them grabbed onto the goose’s neck, and some weren’t able to wrest it off. Then it would happen that, after hanging in midair for a long time, they would 57 <?page no="577"?> 578 Eudemia in Ten Books Duabus circiter horis in hac hilaritate consumtis, horias ad duodecim pari fere impetu venientes aspicimus atque ex clamore hominum, ex tubarum sono, ex lictorum edictionibus, qui cymbas ultro citroque commeantes decedere, atque ad ripas appellere imperabant, eas esse horias comperimus, quae inter sese de praemio certabant. Erat autem earum cursus ita incitatus ac vehemens, ut avium potius volatui quam navigii cuiuspiam celeritati propius videretur accedere. Instabant remiges, urgebant quantum vis humana poterat, remis undas pellebant, verberabant, findebant. Earum una in oculis nostris antecedentem alteram, gravi ictu percussam, subvertit ac submersit. Remiges, natandi arte periti, ad ripas ad unum incolumes pervenere. Neque illis minore fuit opus artificio. Nam alioqui in rapidissimos vortices illapsi, ab iisque abrepti, facile fuissent in profundum abstracti. Alia, quae ad proximum vadum impegerat, cum nemo esset qui eam conaretur extrahere, constitit; ceterae omnes cursum tenuere. Non exspectavimus, dum praeconis voce certaminis victrix citaretur; sed gratiis amico qui nos tam liberaliter acceperat actis, discessimus. Omnium postremi ludi erant plebeii, quibus dies proximus erat allaturus initium quibusque decreveramus non interesse, sed domum abire; quod ferebamus moleste Gallonio nos tanto esse sumtui tantaeque molestiae. Sed castigati ab eo, qui quod in nobis sumeret lucrum esse, non damnum, aiebat, profectionem in biduum distulimus. Atque ad ludos istos quod attinet, si suo tempore fiant, mense Maio, octavo quoque die, a plebeiis hominibus celebrantur; quo die opifices, ab operis feriati, totos hilaritati se tradunt. Hi summo mane, una cum uxoribus ac liberis, secedunt in agrum duobus circiter millibus passuum procul ab urbe, olim celebri cuidam familiae ab Imperatore Cophto dono datum, et secum equos, asinos, vino, pane, caseo aliisque cibariis onustos adducunt; quibus parvulos etiam pueros suos et infantes imponunt. Ferunt etiam citharas, fides, sistra atque alia eiusmodi instrumenta musica, ad quorum cantum vocem exercendo itineris molestias leviores efficiunt. Tum perveniunt in aequatam agri planitiem, arboribus fere in quincuncem dispositis consitam, in cuius summo rudi ac rusticano opere factus fons inest, cuius aquae frigidae, dulces, nitidae atque perennes ad irrigandum eum locum sese diffundunt. Ante hunc fontem mensa marmorea, longa, quadrilatera, varias inter ac proceras arbores paulo supra terram extenditur; quam, qui prior occupat, beatus habetur. Hic, animi curis ac solicitudinibus valere iussis, dant omnes sese variis ac iucundis oblectationibus. Nam alii seor- 58 59 <?page no="578"?> Book Ten 579 be torn away under the weight of their own bodies and fall back down, either into their boats or into the river, while everyone laughed. After spending about two hours in this amusement, we saw around twelve small fishing boats approaching at almost equal speed. From the sound of the crowd, the blare of the trumpets, and the decrees of the lictors that were ordering all of the boats, which were zipping back and forth, to get off the river and put ashore on the banks, we knew that these were the fishing boats that were going to compete with each other for the prize. They were racing so fast and furious that they seemed to resemble birds in flight rather than any kind of fast-moving boat. The oarsmen were pushing hard. Bearing down with as much force as humanly possible, they pushed against the waves, beating against them and cleaving them with their oars. Right in front of our eyes, one of the boats struck another one in front of it, with a heavy blow, causing it to capsize and sink. The oarsmen were good swimmers, and every single one of them reached the shore unharmed. These oarsmen needed to be extremely skilled; otherwise, if they had fallen and been pulled into the swirling rapids, they could easily have been dragged deep under water. Another boat, which had navigated into the nearby shallows, got stuck because nobody was there to try to get it out. All of the rest of the boats stayed their course. We didn’t wait around for the announcer to declare the winner of the race, but we thanked Gallonius’s friend, who had so generously taken us in, and we left. Last of all were the games for the common people, 229 which were set to begin the following day. We had decided not to attend them but to set off for home instead, because it did not sit well with us that we were causing Gallonius so much expense and bother. He scolded us, saying that what he derived from our presence was a gain, not a loss, and so we postponed our departure for two days. With respect to those games, if they take place at their proper time, the people celebrate them every eighth day in the month of May. On this day, laborers on holiday from work give themselves over entirely to enjoyment. Together with their wives and children, they head out early in the morning to a country estate, located about two miles from the city, that was once given as a gift from Emperor Cophtus to a certain noble family. 230 They bring along their horses and 229 The term in Latin, ludi plebeii, is reminiscent of the ancient Roman Plebeian Games that were held November 4-17 and featured theater performances and athletic contests. 230 This is possibly a reference to the extensive gardens of the Villa Borghese, which were open to the public via a portal across from the Porta Pinciana. At the entrance to the villa gardens was an inscription welcoming visitors: “Ito quo voles. Carpito quae voles. Abito quando voles” (“Go where you want, take what you like, and leave when you please”) transcribed in contemporary guidebook by Giacomo Manilli (1650: 159), as quoted in Coffin (1982: 221). 58 59 <?page no="579"?> 580 Eudemia in Ten Books sum a ceteris saltant, alii puellarum choris immisti festas atque alacres ducunt choreas, alii cithara, alii voce, alii fidibus canunt, alii alea, 650 alii trocho, alii pila datatim ludunt, 651 alii ligneis orbiculis vel lamellis certant, uter propius ad lamellam vel orbem accedat, qui signi gratia, praemittitur ad quem ceteri dirigantur. Alii amant, alii potant, alii currunt; omnes denique paulo ante meridiem una cum uxoribus ac liberis in herba sese proiciunt et ad arboris cuiuspiam umbram edunt, potant, animo obsequuntur atque onerant sese hilaritudine. 652 Veniunt eo citharoedi, fidicines et ad citharae fidiumque cantum extemporario carmine de discumbentium virtutibus canunt, a quibus deinde, grati scilicet animi causa, auferunt vel vini cyathum, vel carnis porcinae vel vitulinae frustum, vel pulli gallinacei alam, vel placentae vel casei partem. Accurrunt eodem omnis fere generis meritrices, sive mercatorum amicae sive servulorum scorta diobolaria. Verum esca atque potione expleti, sanctaeque Saturitati 653 gratiis actis, surgunt omnes ac largius etiam quam antea saltationes, cantus, choreas aliosque ludos, quos intermiserant, repetunt et usque ad occidentem solem fere producunt. Multae inter aequales, horum ludorum causa, affinitates, multae inter inimicos pactiones et foedera conciliantur. Is denique horum ludorum est finis, ut, cum advesperascit, omnes eadem qua venerant alacritate domum revertantur. Ludis omnibus transactis, cum iam nihil esset quod detinere nos posset, nullis Gallonii precibus nullaque eiusdem vi retineri potuimus ne ad Penates nostros, unde nos ille deduxerat, reverteremur. Atque adeo fortuna nostris optatis ac 650 olea 1645 651 Plaut. Curc. II.iii.296: “tum isti qui ludunt datatim servi scurrarum in via.” 652 Plaut. Mil. III.i.677: “es, bibe, animo opsequere mecum atque onera te hilaritudine.” 653 Plaut. Capt. IV.ii.877: “ita me amabit sancta Saturitas.” 60 <?page no="580"?> Book Ten 581 donkeys laden with wine, bread, cheese, and other comestibles, and they place their small children and infants on the animals’ backs as well. They also bring citharas, lyres, sistrums, and other such musical instruments, to accompany them as they employ their voices to alleviate the tedium of the journey. They arrive at a level plain that is planted with trees almost in a quincunx formation, at the far end of which stands a fountain fashioned with rough and rustic craftsmanship, and whose cool, sweet, charming, and endlessly flowing waters pour forth to irrigate the place. In front of the fountain there is a long, rectangle, marble table that extends out a bit above the ground among various tall trees. Whoever gets there first to claim it is considered fortunate. Here the people bid farewell to the cares and worries of their minds, and everyone gives themselves over to various agreeable delights. Some dance by themselves away from the rest; others intermingle with a troupe of female dancers to lead festive and quick dances; some play the lute, others sing, and still others play the lyre. Some play at dice, others with a hoop, others toss a ball back and forth, and others compete with wooden balls or small metal discs for who can get closer to the disc or ball, which is tossed out first and acts as the target where everyone has to aim. 231 Some of them love, others drink, others run around; finally, they all throw themselves down on the grass shortly before noon, together with their wives and children, and they eat, drink, and enjoy themselves in the shade of a tree, filling themselves with delight. Musicians and lyre players arrive to sing, and they improvise songs, to the tune of the lute and lyre, about the virtues of the people who are lying on the grass. In the end, the people, in an expression of gratitude, offer the musicians a glass of wine or a slice of ham or veal, a chicken wing, or a piece of cake or cheese. All manner of prostitutes—both the courtesans of merchants and the two-bit whores of lowly servants—rush over to that same location. When they have polished off the food and drink, however, and given thanks to Holy Satiety, everyone gets up, returns with even more enthusiasm to their dancing, singing, group dances, and other games that they had put aside, and carry on almost until sunset. Thanks to these games many alliances between societal equals are brokered, and many truces and treaties between enemies are negotiated. When evening arrives, the games finally come to an end, and everyone returns home quickly the same way they came. When the festivities had concluded, and because there was nothing more to keep us in Eudemia, no entreaties or pressure on Gallonius’s part could keep us from returning to our Penates, whence he had brought us. And Fortune so fulfilled our desires and prayers that the very same ship that had brought us 231 The game played with wooden balls appears similar to bocce ball, and the game played with small metal discs appears similar to the French game jeux de palets. 60 <?page no="581"?> 582 Eudemia in Ten Books votis occurrit, ut eadem, quae nos advexerat, navis e portu iam solveret. Quamobrem multis Gallonio gratiis actis ac Laribus vialibus, ut nos bene iuvarent, invocatis, in eam conscendimus ac diis, ventis atque hominibus operam dantibus, salvi et incolumes domum revenimus. Sed civitatem sane commotam ac perturbatam offendimus graphici cuiusdam sycophantae lepidissimo furto, atque eo perturbatiore erant omnes animo, quo videbantur ab omni spe prorsus exclusi eius sycophantiae vindicandae. Nam celeriter ille surripuerat sese de urbe ac iam longius abierat quam ut eum quisquam omnibus (ut aiunt) velis remisque consequi posset. Est ibi caupo non sui solum ordinis, sed multo etiam superioris longe locupletissimus. Hic nobilem cauponiam facit, neque cuiusvis sortis homines excipit, sed viros tantum nobiles ac, si usus veniat, ipsos etiam reges atque dynastas. Etenim ea est illi supellex, ut non ad unius privati hominis usum, sed ad regalis magnificentiae cultum comparata esse videatur. In ea sunt peripetasmata, aulaea, toreumata, 654 vasa Corinthia argentea, tum pura, tum sigillis emblematibusque perfecta. Haec in adventu virorum principum solitus est palam exponere. Praeterea magnam vim pecuniae in arcis armariisque semper habet inclusam, solutam ab iis, quos exceptos hospitio lepide nitideque suis sumtibus alit. Huius bonis sycophanta quidam callidus ac doctus inhiabat, atque id unum praeter cetera studebat, quemadmodum cauponi manum adiret eiusque ad se habentiam averreret. 655 Verum die quodam, cum in regionem suarum astutiarum ingressus, 656 omnes perlustraret, ea illi maxime placuit, quae monebat ut, si vellet ea quae cogitaverat sibi feliciter cedere, ad cauponis amicitiam aditum aliquem viamque muniret. Itaque venit ad eum ac simulat se summum quendam virum esse ex remotissima nescio qua insula, illucque navigio advectum, ut regionis amoenitate a curis animum relaxaret; propterea velle apud ipsum divertere, ubi sciret hospitibus bene esse solere ac laute; sibi autem esse in animo pecuniae non parcere, quo mollius nitidiusque curetur. Caupo gratias agit neque alium esse locum affirmat, ubi sibi lepidius esse possit quam ibi. Admissus igitur cauponis in domum, nihil sibi esse faciendum prius existimavit quam ut sese penitus in eius familiaritatem immergeret. Neque res fuit magni laboris ac temporis; nam brevi totum hominem possedit. At ubi videt satis sese ad illum in- 654 toreuma (Greek τόρευμα): an object or artwork that is embossed or executed in relief. 655 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 50) refers to Plaut. Truc. Prologue 19: “Quo citius rem ab eo avorrat cum puluisculo.” The line is also similar to Plaut. Truc. Prologue 21, which in some early editions reads: “ad se cum anima eius habentiam averrerit” (for this problematic line, and the reading of the word habentiam, which is no longer accepted, see Liber II, n.-68). 656 Plaut. Mil. II.ii.233: “dum in regionem astutiarum mearum te induco.” 61 <?page no="582"?> Book Ten 583 there was setting sail from the port. Therefore, we thanked Gallonius profusely, prayed to the Lares Viales to bless our journey, and boarded the ship. With the gods, the winds, and the crew all doing their part, we returned home safe and sound. 232 But we found our community shaken and unsettled by the very artful theft of a clever con man, and everyone was even more anxious because it seemed there was no hope of getting revenge for his deception. He had quickly slunk out of the city and was already much too far away for anyone to catch up to him with sails and oars, so to speak. An extremely wealthy innkeeper lived there, the richest by far not only of his own class, but also of any class far superior to his. This innkeeper managed an honorable establishment, and he didn’t welcome just any sort of guest, but only noblemen and, if the occasion presented itself, even kings and dynasts. His inn was furnished in such a way that it had a style akin to regal magnificence, not for the use of a single, private individual. Among his household objects were rugs, tapestries, embossed cups, and silver Corinthian vases, both plain ones without chasing, as well as ones decorated in relief. The innkeeper would display these objects out in the open when important men arrived. Moreover, he always kept a large quantity of money—which he received from the guests he welcomed at his inn and pampered in a delightful and splendid manner at his own expense—locked away in strongboxes and safes. A clever and adroit con man coveted the innkeeper’s possessions, and he nurtured one objective above all else, to trick the innkeeper and take everything he had for himself. In fact, on a certain day he entered his domain of tricks, and when he had surveyed them all, the one he liked best was the one that advised him, if he wanted what he was planning to turn out favorably, to prepare some approach and path to the innkeeper’s friendship. Thus, he approached the innkeeper pretending to be a very important man from some extremely remote island, and claiming that he had come there by boat in order to ease his mind from cares in the beauty of that region. For that reason, he said he wanted to stop at his inn, where he had heard that guests were generally treated well and lavishly, and that he intended not to spare any expense to be waited on agreeably and favorably. The innkeeper thanked him and insisted that there was nowhere else he would experience a more enjoyable stay than at his inn. When the thief gained entrance into the innkeeper’s house, he reckoned that the first thing he should do was insinuate himself deep into the innkeeper’s friendship. And it didn’t take much effort or time before he had that man completely wrapped around his finger within a short period. As soon as he saw that he had sufficiently ingratiated himself to the innkeeper, he got him alone and 232 That is, back home to the neighboring island, where they had settled at the end of Book Eight and where they were living at the beginning of Book Nine. 61 <?page no="583"?> 584 Eudemia in Ten Books sinuasse, segregat eum solum ac “Tuis,” inquit, “in me benefactis facile superas, ut sis mihi superior quam quisquam alius, atque aliquid propter me tibi eveniat boni. Verum id, cuius nunc occasio datur, non illud est, quod pueri clamitant in faba se reperisse, 657 sed Croesi divitiae, sed montes auri. Quamobrem, si fidem das te taciturum, veram tibi causam, quae me huc adegit, exponam.” Caupo, pecuniae studiosus in primis, hac oratione erectus affirmat, iurat quod apud eius aures deposuisset, salvum indidem eum esse sumturum; immo non tutius fidei quidquam quam sibi committi. Ille igitur non solum se inquit esse cum primis domi suae nobilem, verum etiam astrologum summum, ariolum, divinum ac magicae artis longe peritum, eiusque artis beneficio perspectum habere in quadam parte publici agri, cuius loci signa ac notas probe teneret, ingentem latere thesaurum; hunc se velle defodere, cum eoque partiri, sed opus esse silentio. Nam si id cuipiam suboleret, utrumque poenas 658 legibus esse daturum, quae vetant glebam unam in publico agro commoveri, nisi prius facta a magistratibus potestate; sed nondum tempus idoneum ad eam rem esse, quod essent exspectandi siderum quorundam ortus compositionesque, sine quibus quidquid ipsi tentassent, teterrime caderet; verum ut ex caeli conversione perspectum haberet, tempus illud propius abesse. Idque malus ea causa faciebat, ut posset hominem diutius exedere. Nam postquam piscis hamum voraverat, perinde tum in prandiis coenisque, tum in ceteris rebus honorifice eum habebat, ac si rex aliquis esset vel imperator eximius; ac ne verbum quidem de mercede faciebat, quod crederet omnia sibi largius quam vellet ex thesauri massa proventura. Interea novus ille magus, quo eius spes aleret, quotidie, obortis tenebris, ducebat eum in apertam atque patentem agri planitiem; ibique, sumto in manus astrolabio, siderum motus se notare assimulabat. Sed cum quatuor iam menses abiissent, neque amplius prolatando ac diem ex die ducendo sine fraudis suspicione posset hominem ludere, die quodam fit illi obviam ac laetus venit, exclamat, “Venit nox illa tam exspectata, tam amoena, tam hilaris, quae te ex cauponibus, hominum mendicabulis, eximat atque ob divitias regibus ipsis exaequet. Quamobrem, concubia nocte illuc quo duceris, cum ligonibus istis quos asservandos curabis, mecum eas oportet, defossoque terrae gremio illum ex ea fetum extrahamus, qui iam diu luci deripitur. 657 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 51) refers to Plaut. Aul. V.i.818-9: “Quid repperisti? Non quod pueri clamitant / in faba se repperisse.” 658 paenas 1645 62 <?page no="584"?> Book Ten 585 said, “You have gone above and beyond in your favor toward me, so I will place you before everyone else and, thanks to me, something will turn out very well for you. But that something, the opportunity for which is now presenting itself, is not what those boys complained they had found in a bean 233 ; instead, it is the wealth of Croesus and mountains of gold. Therefore, if I have your word that you will keep quiet, I will tell you the true reason that brought me here.” The innkeeper, desiring money above all else, stood at attention at these words, and he affirmed and swore that he would keep safe whatever was being entrusted to his ears, and what is more, that nothing could be entrusted to anyone better than to him. The thief, therefore, said that he was not only, first and foremost, a nobleman in his own community, but he was also a renowned astrologer, a seer, and a prophet who was highly skilled in magic, and that, with the help of this art, he knew for sure that, in a certain location on public land, whose signs and marks he had firm knowledge of, an enormous treasure was buried. He wanted to dig this treasure up and split it with the innkeeper, but he needed his silence. If anyone caught wind of it, they would both be punished because of the laws that prohibit even a single clump of dirt from being removed from public land, without permission first being granted by the magistrates. But it wasn’t yet the proper time for digging up the treasure, because they had to wait for the appearance and alignment of certain stars, or else whatever they attempted would turn out very badly. Indeed, the right time was close at hand, as he had ascertained from the revolution of the heavens. The evil man was doing this in order to string the innkeeper along a little while longer. After the innkeeper had swallowed this story hook, line, and sinker, he received the thief honorably at lunch and dinner, as well as in other settings, as if he were a king or distinguished leader; and he would not hear of accepting any payment, because he believed everything would be coming his way, from that storehouse of treasure, more plentifully than he could have desired. In the meantime, that singular magician, in order to feed the innkeeper’s hopes, every day, when darkness rose, he would lead him to a public and open field, where he would take out an astrolabe and pretend to observe the movement of the stars. When four months had passed, however, and he could no longer deceive the man by dragging this out, or persisting day after day, without raising suspicion of fraud, one day he came upon the innkeeper and happily exclaimed, “The night we have eagerly been awaiting has arrived! It is so pleasing and so happy, and 233 This is a line from Plaut. Aul. whose meaning is unclear. In a note on this line in his edition to Plautus, de Melo (2011: 349, n. 48) writes: “What children find [in a bean] could be a worm; alternatively, Plautus could refer to a game, or there could be an allusion to beans used as stage money; perhaps we are even dealing with an obscene joke of unclear meaning.” 62 <?page no="585"?> 586 Eudemia in Ten Books Sed quia magicis cantionibus sunt prius Manes evocandi ac vinculis constringendi, atque ii praesertim lemures, quibus thesauri custodia commissa est (nam secus omnis noster labor esset inanis ac vacuus), ideo quotquot tibi domi sunt claves, in medium afferas. Nam iis, cum mortuorum ossibus ac certis herbis ad minorem lunam resectis, brevem illos in gyrum, quem radio descripsero, compellam in eoque concludam, et tanquam obserabo, ne commovere se audeant.” Ille qui nihil etiam tum mali suspicaretur, quidquid habeat clavium in medium attulit. Quarum simulac ille potitus est, ad tresviros recta contendit ac “Si mihi,” inquit, “fides publica datur, thesaurarium vobis furem manifestarium 659 dabo.” Iussus fide publica dicere, 660 indicat cauponem illum divitem convenisse secum ut proxima concubia nocte cum ferramentis ad agrum publicum accedant ac thesaurum ibidem abstrusum effodiant; ac, si sibi minus credant, conquisitores illius in domum immittant. “Nam invenient,” inquit, “in culina in angulo ad laevam manum ferramenta ad fodiendum necessaria.” Illi, lictoribus missis, hominem statim cum tota familia comprehendunt et in carcerem condunt. At sycophanta, occasionem tam lepidam nactus, clavibus quibus inferna monstra decreverant in gyrum concludenda, angulos omnes aedium et conclavium miseri illius cauponis sibi pervios facit. Capsas et armaria omnia aperit atque inde thesaurum eruit, magnam videlicet vim argenti ac preciosa alia multa; quae omnia convasata in navigium, quod pridie conduxerat, attulit ac, nemine persequente, in alias regiones, longe ab iis disiunctas remotasque, se contulit. Sed paucis diebus post, caupone, e vinculis exempto ac pecunia multato, huius doli detecti sunt; quos cum non possent magistratus vindicare, omnes cives animo erant anxio atque suspenso. Nos, publicis curis in eos ad quos pertinebant reiectis, ab omni solicitudinis maerore animos nostros curamque laxare nitebamur. Ac frequenter domi Cha- 659 fur thesaurarius: treasure thief (Plaut. Aul. II.viii.395: “confige sagittis fures thesaurarios”); fur manifestarius: blatant (barefaced, flagrant, etc.) thief (ibid. III.iv.469: “capio fustem, optrunco gallum, furem manufestarium”). 660 Sall. Cat. 47: “post ubi fide publica dicere iussus est, omnia uti gesta erant aperit docetque.” 63 64 <?page no="586"?> Book Ten 587 it will lift you up from the ranks of innkeepers, beggars among men; and on account of your wealth, it will make you the very equal of kings. For this reason, in the dead of night, you need to go with me where I lead you, with these pickaxes that you’ll make sure to safeguard, and after digging in the bosom of the earth, we will extract from it that fruit that has not seen the light for such a long time already. But because we first have to summon the Manes with magic spells and tie them up, especially the lemures, who have been entrusted with guarding the treasure—otherwise our effort would be pointless and in vain—therefore, hand over all the keys you have in your house. With those keys, together with the bones of the dead and certain herbs that I’ve harvested by the light of the waning moon, I will force the spirits into the narrow circle I’ll draw with my staff, enclose them in it, and contain them so they won’t dare budge.” The innkeeper, who not even then suspected any wrongdoing, handed over all of his keys. As soon as the thief got hold of them, he headed straight to the tresviri and said, “If you grant me immunity, I will deliver a flagrant treasure thief to you.” Ordered to speak under the terms of immunity, he said that the wealthy innkeeper had conspired with him to go onto public land with tools, in the middle of the following night, in order to dig up treasure that had been buried there, and, if they didn’t believe him, that they should send inspectors to the innkeeper’s house. “For,” he said, “they will find tools in his kitchen for digging, in the corner to the left.” The tresviri sent lictors, immediately arrested the man, together with his entire household, and threw them in jail. The thief seized this fine opportunity and, with the same keys that, as he claimed, would lock the infernal monsters inside a circle, he gave himself access to every corner of the poor innkeeper’s house and rooms. He opened all of the strongboxes and safes, grabbed the treasure, and carried away an enormous quantity of silver, along with many other precious objects that he packed up and carried to a ship he had chartered the day before. With nobody following him, he took himself off to another region that was separated and far removed from this one. But a few days later, when the innkeeper had been released from chains and had paid a heavy penalty, the thief’s tricks were discovered. Because the magistrates were not able to punish them, all of the citizens were left in a state of anxiety and suspense. We paid no attention to the public anxiety regarding the individuals involved in this matter, striving instead to release our minds from the pain of worry and to diminish our cares. We were frequently at the home of a certain wealthy nobleman named Charopinus. Though he was ignorant and unformed in all subjects, he wanted to be thought of as a learned man; and though he could barely even read a book’s table of contents, he had built up a distinguished li- 63 64 <?page no="587"?> 588 Eudemia in Ten Books ropini cuiusdam eramus, locupletis hominis ac nobilis; qui cum esset omnium rerum imperitus ac rudis, inter litteratos haberi volebat, et, cum vix posset librorum indices legere, insignem bibliothecam, omnium librorum varietate refertam, extruxerat; in quem invenimus scriptos hos versus: Scriptorum totis famosa volumina terris colligis et pluteis das, Charopine, tuis. Quid tibi cum libris, quorum nec nomina saltem nec titulos promta voce referre queas, quosque sinis, multo conspersos pulvere, blattis 5 et gratas avidis muribus esse dapes? Nam nullum tangis, sed tanquam sacra profanus, non digna metuis collutulare 661 manu. Numne times fias, tractandis forte libellis, doctior, aut stolidus sis stupidusque minus? 10 Hoc cave te moveat, sic est tibi crassa Minerva, proficere ut valeant plus, mihi crede, sues. Sed erat plane vir bonus ac nobis in primis amicus. Sed citius (ut dicitur) flammam in ore ardentem contineas 662 quam vir acutus ingeniosusque bona dicta teneat; bona scilicet dicta quae, ut quidam interpretantur, salsa sint atque ridicula. 661 IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, X n. 52) refers to Plaut. Trin. III.ii.693: “te honestet, me collutulentet, si sine dote duxeris.” 662 Cic. De or. II. LIV.222: “Itaque nonnulli ridiculi homines hoc ipsum non insulse interpretantur dicere Ennium, flammam a sapiente facilius ore in ardente opprimi, quam bona dicta teneat; haec scilicet bona dicta, quae salsa sint; nam ea dicta appellantur proprio iam nomine.” 65 66 <?page no="588"?> Book Ten 589 brary filled with a variety of every type of work. We found the following verses dedicated to him: Charopinus, you collect the tomes of writers, famous all over the world, and place them on your bookshelves. What need do you have for books, whose names or titles you aren’t even able to pronounce without your voice faltering, and which you allow to become covered in dust and serve as delectable feasts for bookworms and eager mice? For you touch none of them but, like an unholy man with sacred objects, you fear befouling them with your unworthy hand. Are you afraid of becoming more learned by the casual handling of books, or at least less brutish and stupid? Don’t let this affect you; your intelligence is so sluggish that (believe me) pigs could make more progress. 234 He was clearly a good man and, most importantly, he is our friend. But it would be easier for you to hold a burning flame in your mouth, as they say, than for that sharp and clever man to retain any bon mots—that is to say, bon mots that certain people interpret as being witty and ridiculous. 234 Cic. Acad. I.V.19: “‘Sed quid ago? ’ inquit ‘aut sumne sanus qui haec vos doceo? nam etsi non sus Minervam, ut aiunt, tamen inepte quisquis Minervam docet.’” 65 66 <?page no="590"?> Book Ten 591 Appendix A: Key To the Pseudonyms in Eudemia Agrostes Vincenzo Gramigna (1580-1627). IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 8) does not identify the person behind this pseudonym but he does point out that the name means a “rustic man” or “hunter” (from the Greek αγρωστής). Rossi devotes a portrait to Gramigna in his Pinacotheca. Alectrius King of France. The pseudonym is derived from the Greek word ἀλεκτρυών meaning rooster, or gallus in Latin. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 21. The Gallic rooster (coq gaulois) is the unofficial symbol of France. Alexander Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto (1571-1623). Also appears under the name Plusius. Anthimus Identified in the Harvard and British Library keys (see Fig. 5 and 6) as “il duca di Fiorenza.” Aridus Possibly the author himself, Gian Vittorio Rossi. May be the same person as Nicobulus Aridus. Aristarchus Pompeio Caimo (1568-1631), an Italian doctor who, starting in 1602, served as the personal physician of Rossi’s patron Cardinal Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto. Rossi devotes a portrait to Caimo in his Pinacotheca. Aristides Ugone Ubaldini (d. 1658), Canon of St. Peter’s Basilica, brother of Roberto Ubaldini (1581-1635) and son of Lucrezia della Gherardesca (1554? -1641). Arpinas Giuseppe Cesari (1568-1640), also called il Giuseppino, was an Italian Mannerist painter best known as il Cavaliere d'Arpino. Asterius Possibly Giovanni Battista Stella (d. 1621), an accomplished Latin writer both in poetry and prose, and who enjoyed a successful legal and ecclesiastical career achieving the position of Referendary within the papal court and eventually becoming the Bishop of Bitonto in Apulia. Rossi devotes a portrait to Giovanni Battista Stella in his Pinacotheca. Other suggestions for who is behind this astral pseudonym are Francesco Stelluti (1577-1652), an Italian scientist and founding member of the Accademia dei Lincei (Giachino 2002: 201); Giovanni Battista de Asti (1566-1620), a Roman Catholic prelate who served as Titular Bishop of Thagaste (Harvard and British Library manuscript keys [Fig. 5 and 6]); and the poet Giulio Cesare Stella (1564-1624), to whom Rossi devotes a portrait in his Pinacotheca. <?page no="591"?> 592 Appendix A: Key To Pseudonyms in Eudemia Bellinus Giovanni Battista Guarini (1538-1612), an Italian poet and dramatist most famous for his Il pastor fido. He served as Principe of the Accademia degli Umoristi from 1611 until his death the following year (Alemanno 1995: 108). Rossi devotes a portrait to Guarini in his Pinacotheca. Bibulus Possibly Cardinal Francesco Barberini. Barberini was known for raising exotic animals (Trotta 1995: 90), and this dynast is described as being surrounded by a menagerie of animals with the desire to acquire more. Caelolithus Silvestro da Pietrasanta (1590-1647), an Italian Jesuit priest and heraldist who went by the pseudonym Coelius Servilius. Rossi devotes a portrait to Pietrasanta in his Pinacotheca tertia. Cleobolus The Harvard and British Library manuscript keys (Fig. 5 and 6) identify him as a certain man named “Santi,” lover of the “duchessa Sforza.” Crepitaculus Tommaso Campanella (1568-1639), baptized Giovanni Domenico, was a Dominican friar, theologian, astrologer, poet, and philosopher in the Platonic tradition. His anti-Aristotelian views drew the suspicion of the Church, and an accusation of conspiracy against Spanish rule caused him problems with the civil authorities in Naples. He was sentenced to life in prison in 1603 but was released in 1629, thanks to the intervention of Urban VIII (who sought his advice with astrology), and he relocated to Rome. In 1634 he came under suspicion again by the Spanish and, with the aid of Francesco Barberini, went into exile in France where he enjoyed the favor of King Louis XIII and was able to live out the rest of his life in the Dominican convent of St-Honore in Paris. The work he is best known for is Civitas solis (originally written in 1602 in Italian and published in Latin in 1623), an early utopian work depicting a theocratic society. See also Eud. 1998, X n. 40. Rossi devotes a portrait to Campanella in his Pinacotheca. Euganeus Antonio Querenghi (1546-1633), a neo-Latin poet. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 12. Rossi devotes a portrait to Querenghi in his Pinacotheca. Fabullus Leonatus Fabio Leonida. Rossi devotes a portrait to Leonida in his Pinacotheca. Flavius Vopiscus Niger Possibly Gian Vittorio Rossi. <?page no="592"?> Appendix A: Key To Pseudonyms in Eudemia 593 Fossius Marc’Antonio Foppa (1603-1673), an author from a wealthy family originally from Bergamo. His literary interests were mostly focused on editing the works of Torquato Tasso. Fuscus Antonio Bruni (1593-1635) published a translation of Ovid’s Heroides titled Epistole Eroiche libri due (Milan, 1626, Rome, 1634, and various subsequent editions). See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 11. Rossi devotes a portrait to Bruni in his Pinacotheca. Gallonius Probably Gabriel Naudé (1600-1653), a French humanist scholar. Giachino (2002: 188) makes this identification, which is convincing because of the name’s reference to Naudé’s French origin (Gallus). What is more, Naudé had a well-known association with books, being an avid book collector (Bianchi 1996: 220), a librarian (most famously of the Bibliothéque Mazarine in Paris), and the author of the first book on librarianship, Advis pour dresser une bibliotheque (Paris: François Targa, 1627). Gerboni (1899: 132) suggests Antonio Galloni, priest of the Oratory of San Filippo Neri, and the Harvard and British Library manuscript keys (Fig. 5 and 6) identify him as Emiliano Griffone, who was a servant of Cardinal Peretti di Montalto. Geryon, King Charles V (1500-1558), ruler of both the Spanish Empire (as Charles I) and the Holy Roman Empire. Hiero Volusius Girolamo Aleandro, the younger (1574-1629), was the grand-nephew of Cardinal Girolamo Aleandro (1480-1542). He studied law at Padova and entered the service of Cardinal Francesco Barberini. He was an active and influential member in Roman literary circles and was a member of the Accademia degli Umoristi at the same time as Rossi. Both the first and second edition of Eudemia are dedicated posthumously to him. Rossi devotes a portrait to Aleandro in his Pinacotheca. Humanus Urban VIII (Maffeo Barberini). He was born in 1568 and served as Pope from 1623 until his death in 1644. See also Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 5. Ianus “the mattress maker” Giovanni Bricci, a painter (who possibly studied under Giuseppe Cesari, il Cavaliere d’Arpino), musician, and poet who impressed his contemporaries with his talents. Bricci was the son of Giovanni Battista Bricci, a mattress maker and scrap merchant who relocated from Genova to Rome in 1560. See also Gerboni 1899: 131; De Gregori 1942: 271-2; Giachino 2002: 198; DBI. Ianus Thorius Offuscatus Giovanni Zaratino Castellini (1570-1641) was an antiquarian and epigrapher. He is referred to as Offuscatus in at least one of Rossi’s letters to him as well (Ep. ad div. 1.II.IX). Rossi devotes a portrait to Castellini in his Pinacotheca. A character named Offuscatus also appears in Book Seven, who is identified as Antonio Bosio. <?page no="593"?> 594 Appendix A: Key To Pseudonyms in Eudemia Icosippus Gian Vittorio Rossi. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. IX.2 n. 3. Lepidus Gallutius Sinister Francesco Maria Mancini (1606-1672), son of Paolo Mancini, was made a cardinal by Alexander VII. Lucius Minutius Sinister Paolo Mancini (1580-1637) was a founding member of the Accademia degli Umoristi. His house, where Academy meetings were originally held, was located in the Via del Corso. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 7. Rossi devotes a portrait to Mancini in his Pinacotheca. Lyco Trapezita Identified in the Harvard and British Library manuscript keys (Fig. 5 and 6) as “Guido del Palagi decoctore” (with a variant spelling of “decottore”). Mellitus Francesco Barberini. See also Eud. 1998, IX.2 n. 7. Micrus of Pesaro Giovanni Francesco Paoli. Rossi devotes a portrait to him in his Pinacotheca. Nicephorus, King Gustav II Adolf (or Gustavus Adolphus), King of Sweden (1594-1632). He was killed on November 6, 1632, during the Battle of Lützen, where he was struck by a bullet to his left arm below the elbow, knocked off his horse by a bullet in the back, and shot in the head as he was lying on the ground. See also Eud. 1998, IX n. 8. Nicius Rufus Gian Vittorio Rossi. Nicobulus Aridus See Aridus. Nicorusticus Giovanni Ciampoli (1589-1643), a priest, poet, and humanist. Gerboni (1899: 130) makes this identification, adding that Rossi mentions Ciampoli’s ill-health in his portrait of him in Pinacotheca altera (“[valetudo] qua maxime adversa utebatur”). Ciampoli is possibly also the identity of “a certain philosopher” in Book Three who endeavors to prove that all solid bodies are transparent. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, IX n. 2) makes the less convincing identification as Rossi himself. Offuscatus Antonio Bosio (1575/ 76-1629), a scholar and archaeologist who was the first to carry out a systematic exploration of Rome’s catacombs. His book Roma sotterranea was completed after he died by Giovanni Severani and published by Guglielmo Facciotti in 1632. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 5. Gerboni (1899: 124) identifies this Offuscatus as Giovanni Zaratino Castellini, mistaking this character for the character by the same name who appears in Book Three. Rossi devotes a portrait to Bosio in his Pinacotheca. <?page no="594"?> Appendix A: Key To Pseudonyms in Eudemia 595 Ophius Lelio Biscia (1575-1638), an Italian cardinal (Giachino 2002: 199). Famous for his extensive collection of books and manuscripts, Biscia brought Leone Allacci on as curator of his personal library in 1622. Parthenius Possibly Fabio Chigi (Giachino 2002: 200). Plachutius Alessandro Donati (1584-1640), a humanist and poet from a noble Sienese family. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, Lib. IX n. 3) makes this identification (though inadvertently calling him Albertus). Among Donati’s publications were Carminum volumen primum (Rome: Mascardi, 1625) dedicated to Francesco Barberini, Ars poëtica (Rome: Faciotti, 1631), and Roma vetus ac recens (Rome: M. Manelfi, 1638). Pleura Margherita Costa (1600-1664), a virtuosa singer, performer, and writer who frequented the salons of Urban VIII’s Rome. Her work Li buffoni (Florence: Massi e Landi, 1641) was the first printed comedy by a woman (Cox 2011: 92). Giachino (2002: 213, n. 76) identifies Pleura as either Francesca Caccini (known as “La Cecchina”) or Leonora Baroni—both virtuose singers, instrumentalists, and composers—but the identification as Margherita Costa is the most plausible one given pseudonym’s derivation from the Greek word πλευρά (costa in Latin, or “rib” in English). Rossi offers the following description of Margherita Costa in his Pinacotheca: “Margarita Costa, non magis canendi artificio, quam turpi quaestu famosa” (“Margherita Costa was famous not so much for her skill in singing as for her dishonorable profession”). Plusius Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto (1571-1623). The pseudonym is derived from the Greek adjective πλούσιος meaning wealthy. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. I n. 3. Plusius Accipiter Arrigo Falconio. Rossi devotes a portrait to Falconio in his Pinacotheca. Pterotius Leone Allacci (c. 1586-1669), a Greek scholar originally from Chios who went to Rome to study theology, Latin, and Greek; he was also trained in medicine. He was appointed custodian of the Vatican Library by Pope Alexander VII in 1661 and remained in that post until his death. The work Rossi refers to critically, first in Book Seven (25) and then in Book Nine (3), is his Apes urbanae, sive, De viris illustribus qui ab anno 1630 per totum 1632 Romae adfuerunt ac typis aliquid evulgarunt. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. VII n. 20. Pusillus Caesar Virginio Cesarini (1695-1524), also referred to as Virgilio, was a precocious Italian intellectual and poet who died at the age of twenty-nine. Rossi devotes a portrait to Cesarini in his Pinacoteca. <?page no="595"?> 596 Appendix A: Key To the Pseudonyms in Eudemia Pusillus Pleurae The Harvard manuscript key (Fig. 5) identifies this person as a certain “Abbate Costa.” Robustus Ursaceus Possibly Fulvio Orsini (1529-1600), an Italian humanist, historian, and archaeologist, or Alessandro Orsini (1592-1626) an Italian cardinal and patron of Galileo Galilei. Rossi devotes portraits to both in his Pinacotheca, the latter in Pinacotheca altera. Sabellus Pier Francesco Paoli (1585-1637/ 42) was an Italian poet, originally from Pesaro, who “espoused a moderate concettismo and is best known for prefatory verses attached to works by Marino, though he published several copious collections in his own name” (Oxford Companion to Italian Literature). Leone Allacci lists Paoli in his Apes urbanae describing him as the “Principis Sabellii a secretis” (secretary of the Prince Savelli), who is probably Giulio of the aristocratic Roman Savelli family (hence Paoli’s pseudonym, Sabellus). Salvius Tifernas Gaspare Salviani. This pseudonym is derived from Tifernum Tiberinum, the ancient name for Città di Castello in the province of Perugia in Umbria. Rossi refers to Salviani as τὰ πάντα—the person on whom the entire academy depends—because he was apparently the guiding force, along with Mancini, behind its creation. Tiraboschi (1780: 34) describes Salviani as the academy’s “più fervido promotore” (“most fervid promoter”); see also Maylender and Rava (1976, vol. 5: 371) and Gravit (1935: 506). Alessandro Tassoni refers to Gaspare Salviani as “decan de l’Accademia de’ Mancini” in canto XI.XLI of his mock-heroic epic poem La secchia rapita. Rossi devotes a portrait to Salviani in his Pinacotheca, where he is also called Tifernas. Septimus Pleusippus Identified by the Harvard and British Library manuscript keys (Fig. 5 and 6) as “Ottavio Costa.” Sextilius Ligur Agostino Mascardi (1591-1640), chamberlain to Pope Urban VIII, who founded a professorship of rhetoric for him at the Sapienza in 1628. He was an active composer of poetry and verse and was a member of the Accademia degli Umoristi, where he served as its Principe in 1629 and 1631. His pseudonym Ligur is a reference to his Genovese origin, which is the capital city of Liguria. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 10. Rossi devotes a portrait to Mascardi in his Pinacotheca. Stylius Pompeo Colonna (1479-1532). <?page no="596"?> Appendix A: Key To Pseudonyms in Eudemia 597 Teras Niccolò Riccardi (1585-1639) an Italian Dominican theologian, preacher, writer, and member of the Accademia degli Umoristi. The pseudonym derives from the Greek word τέρας (wonder, prodigy, or marvel) and is a reference to Riccardi’s marvelous eloquence, on account of which Philip III of Spain dubbed him “The Marvel,” a name by which he subsequently became known in Spain and Italy (Gerboni 1899: 132; see also Eud. 1998, VII n. 8). Riccardi was a consultant to the Congregation of the Index and, in 1629, he was appointed Master of the Sacred Palace, the Vatican’s censor. His duties in these roles (deciding which titles could be printed, imported, and sold) are referenced in Book Seven (6), and his eloquence is highlighted again in Book Ten (46). Rossi devotes a portrait to Riccardi in his Pinacotheca. Thalassicus Giambattista Marino (1569-1625), an Italian poet, born in Naples, who is considered to be the founder of the Mannerist style of poetry. He is most well known for his epic poem L’Adone published in 1623. He was a member of the Accademia degli Umoristi with Rossi and served as its Principe from 1623-25. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 8. Rossi devotes a portrait to Marino in his Pinacotheca. Thaumantius Giovanni Battista Tamantini, a Roman bookseller. IJsewijn (Eud. 1998, VII n. 7) refers to Rossi’s mention of “Thaumantinus, nobilis bibliopola, qui officinam librariam habet Romae e regione Pasquini, sub solis signo” (Ep. ad div. 1.IV.XVI). For more information on Tamantini see Introduction n. 70). Theridates, King Louis XIII of France. Thersippus Scipione Cobelluzzi (1564-1626), Cardinal of Santa Susanna, was an Italian cardinal, librarian, and archivist. As well as serving as the archivist for the Vatican Secret Archives, he was the parish priest of the Church of Saint Susanna at the Baths of Diocletian from 1616 until his death in 1626. Rossi devotes a portrait to Cobelluzzi in his Pinacotheca. Tyrrhenus Fabio Chigi (1599-1667), a lauded humanist and neo-Latin poet, member of the Accademia degli Umoristi, and a frequent correspondent of Rossi’s. He was elected Pope in 1655 taking the name Alexander VII. The pseudonym Tyrrhenus derives from Τυρρηνία (Tyrrhenia) the ancient Greek word for Etruria, a reference to Chigi’s Tuscan origins. See also Eud. 1998, Lib. II-IV n. 13. Uranius Gaspare Celio (1571-1640) was a painter, writer, mathematician, and architect. Rossi devotes a portrait to Celio in his Pinacotheca. Ursatus Ferdinando Orsini. <?page no="597"?> 598 Appendix A: Key To Pseudonyms in Eudemia Virgilius Ursatus Virginio Orsini (1615-1676) was from the ducal family of Bracciano. Rossi originally published this poem about the real Virginio Orsini in 1627 when Orsini was twelve years old. Orsini’s youthful talent is reflected in the description of him as pene puer (almost a boy). He was twenty-two years old when Eudemia was first published in 1637 and would become a cardinal four years later, in 1641, at the age of twenty-six. Virgilio Orsini’s grandfather, who is mentioned in the poem Aridus devotes to the young Virgilius in Book Seven (39), was Virginio Orsini, second Duke of Bracciano (1572-1615). <?page no="598"?> Book Ten 599 Appendix B: Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Published Works 1 * Io. Victorii Roscii I.C. romani Orationes novem. Problema I. Romae: Apud Aloysium Zannettum, 1603. Io. Victorii Roscii romani I.C. Oratio de Christi Domini ascensu ad Clementem VIII Pont. Max. habita in aede D. Petri in Vaticano VI kal. iunii M.DC.IV. Romae: Apud G. Facciottum, 1604. De diuturna aegrotatione toleranda oratio Io. Victorii Roscii I.C. Romae: Apud Carolum Vulliettium, 1605. Rime spirituali composte dal sig. Gio. Vittorio de’ Rossi romano … Viterbo: Appresso Agostino Discepolo, 1629. Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri VIII. [Leiden]: [Bonaventure and Abraham Elzevier], 1637. Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogi. Paris: Jacques Villery, 1642. Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogi duo. Coloniae Agrippinae [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iohannem Kinckium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1643. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium doctrinae vel ingenii laude virorum qui auctore superstite diem suum obierunt. Coloniae Agrippinae [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Cornelium ab Egmond [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1643. Iani Nicii Erythraei Exempla virtutum et vitiorum. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iohannem Kinckium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1644. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium doctrinae vel ingenii laude virorum qui auctore superstite diem suum obierunt. Coloniae Agrippinae [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Jodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca altera imaginum illustrium doctrinae vel ingenii laude virorum qui auctore superstite diem suum obierunt. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Jodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad diversos. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri decem. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. * I am grateful to the following people for confirming bibliographic information for select works: Marianne Clatin of the Bibliothèque Nationale de France; Doroteja Emeršič of the Minorite Monastery of St. Peter and St. Paul Library in Ptuj, Slovenia; Stephen J. Greenberg and Matt Phan of the US National Library of Medicine; and Yvonne Shand of the National Library of Scotland. <?page no="599"?> 600 Appendix B: Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Published Works Iani Nicii Erythraei Documenta sacra ex Evangeliis quae dominicis per annum [et] nonullis aliis festis diebus leguntur in ecclesia. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogi septendecim. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Iani Nicii Erythraei Exempla virtutum et vitiorum. Editio secunda. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Oratio ad patres congregationis generalis Societatis Iesu cum sacellum sodalitatis Deiparae Virginis assumptae Romae … habita a Io. Victorio Roscio sive Iano Nicio Erythraeo VIII Kal. Aprilis MDCXLVI. Romae: Ex typographia Vitalis Mascardi, 1646. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca tertia imaginum virorum aliqua ingenii [et] eruditionis fama illustrium qui auctore superstite e vita decesserunt. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Jodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu],1648. Iani Nicii Erythraei Opuscula spiritualia tria. I. Supplex libellus ad Deum [et] B.V. Matrem. II. Paradoxa christiana. III. Sermones de quatuor novissimis. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1648. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolarum ad diversos volumen posterius. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolarum ad Tyrrhenum tomus posterior. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogorum volumen alterum. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Iani Nicii Erythraei Homiliae. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Iani Nicii Erythraei Orationes viginti duae. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Iani Nicii Erythraei Exempla virtutum et vitiorum. Editio tertia. Juxta exemplar Coloniae Ubiorum impressum: [s.n.], 1676. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium doctrinae vel ingenii laude virorum qui auctore superstite diem suum obierunt. Editio nova cum indicibus necessariis. Lipsiae: Sumptibus Io. Frid. Gleditschi, 1692. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium doctrinae vel ingenii laude virorum qui auctore superstite diem suum obierunt. Editio nova. Lipsiae: Apud Thomam Fritsch, 1712. Iani Nicii Erythraei Pinacotheca imaginum illustrium doctrinae vel ingenii laude virorum qui auctore superstite diem suum obierunt. Editio nova. Guelferbyti: Apud Io. Christoph. Meisnerum, 1729. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum. [S.l.]: [S.n.], 1738. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad diversos. [S.l.]: [S.n.], 1738. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum et ad diversos, notis illustratae, indice necessario, auctoris vita, et epistola priore editione haud comprehensa auctiores et emendatiores editae a Io. Christiano Fischero. Coloniae Ubiorum: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium, 1739. <?page no="600"?> Appendix B: Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Published Works 601 Iani Nicii Erythraei Eudemiae libri decem cum praefatione Io. Christ. Fischeri … qua Erythraei vitam epistolis praemissam auget atque illustrat. Editio novissima. Coloniae Ubiorum: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium, 1740. Iani Nicii Erythraei Orationes viginti duae cum praefatione Io. Christiani Fischeri … Editio novissima. Altenburgi: Apud Paulum Emanuelem Richterum, 1741. Iani Nicii Erythraei Exempla virtutum et vitiorum. DD sodalibus academicis sub titulo B. Virginis Mariae … in archi-ducali academico Societatis Iesu Collegio Graecii congregatis in strenam oblata. Graecii: Typis Haeredum Widmanstadii,1746. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad Tyrrhenum et ad diversos, notis illustratae, auctoris vita, epistola et variis novis additamentis prioribus editionibus haud comprehensis, cura Io. Christiani Fischeri. Editio tertia. Coloniae Ubiorum: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium, 1749. Eudemiae libri decem. Retiarius: Archivum recentioris latinitatis. University of Kentucky, Department of Modern & Classical Languages, Literatures & Cultures, 1998. https: / / mcl.as.uky.edu/ liber-i <?page no="602"?> Book Ten 603 Bibliography 1 * Ademollo, Alessandro. Il carnevale di Roma nei secoli XVII e XVIII. Appunti storici con note e documenti. Roma: A. Sommaruga, 1883. Alain de Lille, and James J. Sheridan. Anticlaudianus, or, The Good and Perfect Man by Alan of Lille. Toronto: Pontifical Institute of Mediaeval Studies, 1973. Alemanno, Laura. “L’accademia Degli Umoristi.” Roma Moderna e Contemporanea 3, no. 1 (1995): 97-120. Allacci, Leone. Drammaturgia di Leone Allacci, divisa in sette indici. Roma: Per il Mascardi, 1666. Aprosio, Angelico. La Biblioteca Aprosiana. Bologna: Per li Manolessi, 1673. Aretino, Pietro, and Giovanni Aquilecchia. Sei giornate: Ragionamento della Nanna e della Antonia (1534), dialogo nel quale la Nanna insegna a la Pippa (1536). Scrittori d’Italia, n. 245. Bari: Laterza, 1969. Aron-Beller, Katherine. “Ghettoization: The Papal Enclosure and Its Jews.” In A Companion to Early Modern Rome, 1492-1692, 232-46. Brill, 2019. Asor Rosa, Alberto. Il Seicento: La nuova scienza e la crisi del Barocco, vol. 5.1 of La letteratura italiana: Storia e testi. Bari: Laterza, 1974. Barclay, John, Mark T. Riley, and Dorothy Pritchard Huber. Argenis. Assen, the Netherlands; Tempe, AZ: Royal Van Gorcum; Arizona Center for Medieval and Renaissance Studies, 2004. Barclay, John, and David A. Fleming. Euphormionis Lusinini Satyricon. Euphormio’s Satyricon 1605-1607. Nieuwkoop: B. de Graaf, 1973. Battistini, Andrea. Il Barocco: Cultura, miti, immagini. Roma: Salerno, 2000. Berger, Adolf. Encyclopedic Dictionary of Roman Law. Philadelphia: American Philosophical Society, 1953. Berghman, G. Catalogue raisonné des impressions elzeviriennes de la Bibliothèque royale de Stockholm. Stockholm: Nordiska bokhandeln i kommission; Paris: H. Champion, 1911. Bianchi, Lorenzo. Rinascimento e libertinismo: Studi su Gabriel Naudé. Napoli: Bibliopolis, 1998. Bradley, Keith. Slavery and Society at Rome. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1994. Brosius, Amy. “‘Il Suon, Lo Sguardo, Il Canto’: Virtuose of the Roman Conversazioni in the Mid-Seventeenth Century. ” PhD diss., New York University, 2009. * All citations to Classical texts are from the Loeb Classical Library published by Harvard University Press, unless otherwise specified in the bibliography and notes. Texts were accessed online through the digital Loeb Classical Library at www.loebclassics.com/ <?page no="603"?> 604 Bibliography Brown, Horatio F. 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Quedlinburgi; Lipsiae: Typis ac sumtibus G. Bassi, 1847. Poliziano, Angelo, and Charles Fantazzi. Silvae. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2004. Porter, David A. “Neo-Latin Prose Satire.” Brill’s Encyclopaedia of the Neo-Latin World, 2014. Primarosa, Yuri. Ottavio Leoni (1578-1630) eccellente miniator di ritratto: Catalogo ragionato dei disegni e dei dipinti. Roma: Ugo Bozzi, 2017. Quaintance, Courtney. Textual Masculinity and the Exchange of Women in Renaissance Venice. Toronto Italian Studies. Toronto: University of Toronto Press, 2015. Rahir, Edouard. Catalogue d’une collection unique de volumes imprimés par les Elzevier et divers typographes hollandais du XVIIe siècle. Paris: Damascène Morgand, 1896. Relihan, Joel C. “Prose Satire.” In A Guide to Neo-Latin Literature, edited by Victoria Moul, 340-57. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2017. Richardson, Lawrence. A New Topographical Dictionary of Ancient Rome. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1992. Rietbergen, Peter. Power and Religion in Baroque Rome: Barberini Cultural Policies. Brill’s Studies in Intellectual History, v. 135. Leiden; Boston: Brill, 2006. Riley, Mark T. “Fiction.” In The Oxford Handbook of Neo-Latin, edited by Stefan Tilg and Sarah Knight, 183-97. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2015. Romani, Valentino. “Notizie su Andrea Brugiotti libraio, editore e stampatore camerale.” In Accademie e bibliotheche d’Italia, n. 2 (1973): 72-87. Rossi, Gian Vittorio. Iani Nicii Erythraei Dialogi septendecim. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. Rossi, Gian Vittorio. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolae ad diversos. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1645. <?page no="609"?> 610 Bibliography* Rossi, Gian Vittorio. Iani Nicii Erythraei Epistolarum ad diversos volumen posterius. Coloniae Ubiorum [i.e., Amsterdam]: Apud Iodocum Kalcovium [i.e., Joan Blaeu], 1649. Rossi, Gian Vittorio. 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Leiden; Boston: Brill, 2013. Weinbrot, Howard D. Menippean Satire Reconsidered: From Antiquity to the Eighteenth Century. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 2005. Welch, Evelyn S. Shopping in the Renaissance: Consumer Cultures in Italy 1400-1600. New Haven, CT; London: Yale University Press, 2005. Wilkins, John, and Robin Nadeau. A Companion to Food in the Ancient World. Malden, MA; Oxford: John Wiley, 2015. Willems, Alphonse. Les Elzevier: Histoire et annales typographiques. Nieuwkoop: B. De Graaf, 1974. Zippel, Guiseppe. “Le vite di Paolo II di Gaspare da Verona e Michele Canensi.” In Rerum Italicarum scriptores: Raccolta degli storici italiani dal cinquecento al millecinquecento (ed. Carducci-Fiorini) 111, no. 16. Città di Castello: S. Lapi, 1904. <?page no="612"?> Book Ten 613 Index nominum Only English name forms have been indexed (excluding the footnotes); the Latin name forms can be found by looking across to the corresponding facing-page Latin text. Accius, Lucius 504 f. Accursius, Franciscus 18 Adonis 141, 157 Aeneas 185, 521 Aesculapius 103, 189, 213, 553 Agathon 383 Agrostes (Vincenzo Gramigna) 102 f., 105 Aleandro, Girolamo 68 f. Alectrius, King 355 Alemanno, Laura 64 f., 603 Alexander (Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto) 19, 58, 188 f., 193, 203, 213, 225, 227, 233, 567 Alexander VII, Pope 19 Alexis 358 f., 361 Allacci, Leone 35, 51, 64, 603 Amphion 521 Anchises 571 Angellus 395 Anthimus, King 259 Antina 58, 295-299, 302 f. Antiphila 304 f. Antonius, Marcus 498 f. Antony, Mark 491 Apelles 237 Apollo 59, 91, 177, 181, 189, 257 f., 268 f., 279, 295, 313, 349, 355, 385, 389, 473, 517, 529 Aprosio, Angelico 37, 603 Apuleius 14 Archombrotus 48 Aretino, Pietro 603, 610 Argenis 29, 48 ff., 603 Argus 401 f., 435 Argyrotychus 557 Aridus (Gian Vittorio Rossi? ) 58, 60, 155, 162 f., 256 f., 260 f., 268 f., 272 f., 276 f., 280 f., 289, 325, 331, 337, 363, 496-499, 502-513 Aristaeus 467, 469 Aristarchus (Pompeio Caimo) 139 f. Aristides (Ugone Ubaldini) 60 f., 424 f., 497, 541, 567 Aristoxenus 522 f. Arpinas (Giuseppe Cesari) 157 Asterius (Giovanni Battista Stella? ) 57, 136 f., 139 Astraea 475 Attalus of Pergamum 91, 376 f., 513 Augustus Caesar 491 Bacchus 81, 95, 99, 108 f., 205, 211 Baldoccius 52, 58, 294-297, 300-303 Ballio 59, 308-311, 523 Barberini, Francesco 26, 35, 37, 43 Barclay, John 14, 29, 47-50, 62, 603, 605 Bartolus of Saxoferrato 18 Bellinus (Giovanni Battista Guarini) 157, 165 Bembo, Pietro 51 Benci, Francesco 17 Bernini, Gian Lorenzo 64 Bibulus (Francesco Barberini? ) 37, 57, 94 f., 102 f., 335, 341 Blaeu, Joan 24, 31 ff., 35, 51, 55, 599 f., 609 f. <?page no="613"?> 614 Index nominum Bosio, Antonio 54, 63 Bouchard, Jean-Jacques 37, 606 Brennus 145 Bricci, Giovanni 64 Bunel, Pierre 75 Caelius, Marcus 62 Caelolithus (Silvestro da Pietrasanta) 420 f. Caestius 74 f. Callidius 308 f. Castellini, Giovanni Zaratino 28, 43, 63 Cato, Marcus Porcius 493, 604 Catullus, Gaius Valerius 343, 425 Cerberus 89, 475 Ceres 108 f., 305, 313, 321, 351, 354 f., 358 f., 377, 403, 441, 571 Charopinus 587, 589 Cicero, Marcus Tullius 15, 18 f., 26 f., 36, 51, 53 f., 62, 64, 70 f., 74 ff., 87, 233, 441, 490 f., 501, 567, 604 ff., 611 Claereta 395 Clodia 62 Coelius 84 f. Colonna, Pompeo 19 Cophtus, Emperor 579 Coponius 553 Coschinus 345 Costa, Margherita 37, 607 Crasso, Lorenzo 51, 605 Crassus, Lucius Licinius 498 f. Cratinus 349 Creopolis 308 f. Crepitaculus (Tommaso Campanella) 561 Croce, Benedetto 15 Croesus 119, 327, 376 f., 585 Cuminus 158 f. Cupid 63, 145, 181, 221 Curetes 475 Cyrene 475 Cyrus 202 f. Dal Pozzo, Cassiano 37, 611 Daphne 189, 213, 227 Democritus 139 Demophon 305 Demosthenes 503 Diana 346 f., 349, 355, 359, 517 Dido 520 f. Dionysus 183 Doris 475 Drujon, Fernand 36, 605 Dupuy, Jacques 608 Egmondt, Cornelius ab 31 Elzevier, Abraham 34, 599, 610 Elzeviers (firm) 29, 31 f. Ennius 278 f. Erasmus, Desiderius 605 Esuria 556 f. Euclio 257 Euganeus (Antonio Querenghi) 180 f., 339 Eumenides 475 Euphormio 47, 50, 603 Eurydice 469 Fabullus Leonatus (Fabio Leonida) 164 f., 169 Facciotti, Guglielmo 28 Fischer, Johann Christian 33, 55 Flavius Vopiscus Niger (Gian Vittorio Rossi? ) 13, 47, 56, 61, 78-81, 541 Fleming, David A 47 f., 62, 603, 605 Fossius (Marc'Antonio Foppa) 103 Fulvia 206 f. Fumaroli, Marc 19, 26, 605 Fuscus (Antonio Bruni) 331 Galilei, Galileo 65 Gallonius (Gabriel Naudé? ) 13 f., 49, 56-60, 79, 84 f., 87, 91, 94-103, 105 ff., 109 ff., 116 f., 122-129, 134-145, 150-153, 156 f., 159, 181, 183, 188 f., 191 ff., 203 ff., 212 f., 223, 226 f., 232-235, 238-243, 246-249, 256 ff., 260 f., 268 f., 272 f., 276 f., 280-286, 288 ff., 292 f., <?page no="614"?> Index nominum 615 304-309, 319 f., 351, 360 f., 372 f., 395, 426-431, 436-439, 466 f., 480 f., 494-497, 499, 505 ff., 512 f., 518 f., 522 f., 536-539, 544 f., 553, 562 f., 568 f., 571, 575, 579, 581 Gerboni, Luigi 13, 15, 19, 21 f., 27, 36, 53, 65, 605 Gerdes, Daniel 52 Geryon, King (Charles V) 309, 399, 547 Geta 59, 382 f. Giachino, Luisella 11, 13 ff., 36, 56, 64, 606 Gorgias of Leontini 502 f. Gregory XV, Pope 65 Griffin, Dustin H. 16, 43, 48, 606 Grignani, Lodovico 64 Gryphius, Christian 36, 606 Guarini, Giovanni Battista 18 Harpax 58, 262-267, 308 f. Hecate 253 Hecuba 534 f. Heineccius, Johann Christian Gottlieb 51, 606 Henry III, King 49 Hercules 127, 273, 342 f., 354 f., 377, 521 Hermagoras 104 f. Hermogenes 520 f. Hiero Volusius (Girolamo Aleandro) 160 f., 186 f., 189, 229 Hippocrates 573 Homosius 425 Horace 40 ff., 45 f., 51, 54, 207, 347, 489, 606 Hortensius Hortalus 501 Humanus (Urban VIII) 46, 60, 467, 471 Ianiculus 541, 555 Ianus “the mattress maker” 64, 351, 423 Ianus Thorius Offuscatus (Giovanni Zaratino Castellini) 179 Iberus 58, 183, 252-255, 276 f., 279, 281 Icosippus (Gian Vittorio Rossi) 46, 60, 424 f., 465, 467, 482 f. IJsewijn 15 f., 26, 34, 36, 55, 607 IJsewijn-Jacobs, Lina 55 Incisa della Rocchetta, Giovanni 607 Index 61, 551 Isocrates 503 Jove 91, 111, 127, 143, 251, 259, 329, 333, 355, 415, 475, 543, 567 Juno 401 Jupiter 125, 301, 313, 355, 379, 427, 475, 493 Juvenal 40 f. Lachesis 275 Laelius 365 Lampsacus 387 Laurens 349 Laverna 268 f., 271, 281 Leonica 402 f. Lepidus Gallutius Sinister (Francesco Maria Mancini) 168 f., 273 Lesbia 101, 343 Liber 141, 297, 321, 341 Liberalis 173 Lidomarus 420 f. Ligurinus 59, 319, 321 Linus 521 Livy 51 Lucian of Samosata 43, 46, 607 f. Lucilius Gaius 40 ff., 46 Lucina 231 Lucius Minutius Sinister (Paolo Mancini) 155, 169, 273, 447 Lucretia 58, 208 f. Lutatius Catulus Quintus 491 Lyco 58, 260 f., 277, 280 f. Lysimachus 369, 371, 373 Lyus 59, 312 f., 315 Magius, Claudius 163 Mandosio, Prospero 52, 607 Manuzio, Paolo 75 Maragoni, Gian Piero 34, 607 <?page no="615"?> 616 Index nominum Marino, Giambattista 18, 25, 65, 608 Marius, Leonardus 69 Mars 279, 547 Martial 425, 607 Mascardi, Agostino 600, 603 Mazzei, Carlo 40, 42, 44 Mazzocchi, Virgilio 35 Megadorus 257 Megalobulus 60, 410-413, 463, 480 f. Mellini, Giovanni Garzia 20 Mellitus (Francesco Barberini) 60, 467, 471 Merlino, Clemente 44 ff. Merlinus 59, 331, 333 ff., 373 f. Micrus of Pesaro (Giovanni Francesco Paoli) 54, 184 f. Midas 377 Militades 503 Milphidippa 62, 198 f. Minerva 59, 91, 279, 313, 368 f., 373, 393, 397 Minos 89, 344 f., 398, 401, 547 Moonsius, Guilelmus 19 Moretus, Jan 51 Morrish, Jennifer 11, 13, 15, 608 Muret, Marc-Antoine 17 Nanna 54, 57, 63, 116 f., 119, 121, 123, 603 Natalicius 289, 294 f., 304 Naudé, Gabriel 30, 36, 53, 55, 603, 608 Neptune 85, 87, 319, 375, 405, 451, 453, 469 Nereus 475 Nestor 275 Nice 309, 311 Nicephorus, King (Gustav II Adolf) 60, 429, 449, 467, 495 Niceron, Jean Pierre 608 Nicius Rufus (Gian Vittorio Rossi) 20, 58 f., 66, 286 f., 336-341 Nicolosa 99 Nicorusticus (Giovanni Ciampoli) 420 f. Nihus, Barthold 31 ff., 51 Obtusus 158 f. Offuscatus (Antonio Bosio) 59, 63, 178 f., 320 f., 324 f., 327, 524 f. Olinda 49, 58, 63, 212 f., 215-219, 221 ff. Ophius (Lelio Biscia) 423 Orcus 192 f., 259, 310 f., 343, 353, 455 Orius 304 f. Orpheus 469, 521 Orus 545 Ovid 51, 54, 331, 489 Pacuvius 318 f. Palladius 197 Pallas Daphnia 441, 443 Pallas Psychia 441, 443 Pallavicino, Pietro Sforza 608 Pamphila 369 Pamphilus 58, 290 f., 293, 297 ff., 303 Paris 141 Parrhasius 239 Parthenius (Fabio Chigi? ) 397, 576 f. Pasicompsa 57, 62, 106 f., 109 Paulus Aemilius Verus 13, 56, 59, 78-81, 90 f., 108 f., 128 f., 190 f., 243, 284 f., 290 f., 360 f., 396 f., 400 f., 426 f., 446 f., 450 f., 462 f., 480 f., 498-503, 510, 513, 570 f. Paul V, Pope 19, 65 Pegasus 154 f., 473 Peretti di Montalto, Alessandro Damasceni 20, 63, 66 Pericles 77 Persius 41 Petronius Arbiter 14, 40 f., 46 f., 606 Phanostrata 395 Philargyria 383 Philip 185 Philotas 49, 58, 63, 213-216, 221, 223 Phoebus 155, 165, 181, 333 Phryxus 243 Piso Frugi, Lucius Calpurnius 491 Plachutius (Alessandro Donati) 420 f. Plato 71, 369 <?page no="616"?> Index nominum 617 Plautus, Titus Maccius 18, 51, 53 ff., 62, 73, 609 Pleura (Margherita Costa) 37, 259 Pleusides 268 f. Plusius Accipiter (Arrigo Falconio) 59, 162 f., 321 Plusius (Alessandro Damasceni Peretti di Montalto) 20, 56 f., 59, 63, 66, 90 f., 123, 125, 127, 129, 134 f., 137, 162 f., 165, 321 f., 324-327, 329 ff., 362 f., 368 f. Pluto 192 f. Poliziano, Angelo 51, 609 Polyclitus 239 Pomona 471 Pontius 446 f. Priam 145 Proserpina 359 Proteus 466 f., 469 Protogenes 239 Pterotius (Leone Allacci) 423 Pusillus Caesar (Virginio Cesarini) 331 Pusillus Pleurae 259 Pythagoras 233 Pytho 51 Quintilian 26, 51, 71 Rhadamanthus 89, 344 f., 547 Rietbergen, Peter 25, 28, 609 Riley, Mark T. 11, 13, 49, 603, 609 f. Robustus Ursaceus (Fulvio Orsini? ) 137 Rossi, Gian Vittorio 13-22, 24 f., 27 f., 30, 32 f., 35 ff., 39-55, 62-66, 68 f., 599, 606, 609 f. Ruspolus 101 Sabellus (Pier Francesco Paoli) 174 f. Sallust 51, 54, 87, 107, 207 Salus 103, 443 Salvius Tifernas (Gaspare Salviani) 157 ff., 273 Samnis 420 f. Schoppe, Kaspar 29, 48 Scipio Africanus 41, 57, 85, 447 see Alexander VII, Pope 19, 30, 32, 63, 611 see Aridus 162 f., 165 see Dido 185 see Urban VIII, Pope 13 Sejanus, Lucius Aelius 13, 56, 79, 81, 85 Sempronia 107, 206 f. Seneca, Lucius Annaeus 54, 74 f. Septimus Pleusippus 58, 269 Sextilius Ligur (Agostino Mascardi) 174 f., 177 Sierstorpff, Henricus Francken 69 Sirius 171, 475 Sisyphus 88 f. Socrates 393 Statius 54 Stefonio, Bernardino 17 Struve, Burkhard Gotthelf 610 Styliolus 404-409 Stylius (Pompeo Colonna) 59, 322-325, 327 Suffenus 60, 451 Tamantini, Giovanni Battista 29, 37, 63 Tantalus 89 Tarquin 209 Tartarus 391 Tassoni, Alessandro 18, 610 Tensa 58, 63, 296-299, 303, 305 Teras (Niccolò Riccardi) 326 f., 558 f., 561 Terence 11, 18, 34, 51, 53 f., 610 Thalassicus (Giambattista Marino) 154, 157 Thales 526 f. Thaumantinus 63, 327, 331 Thaumantinus (Giovanni Battista Tamantini) 29, 37 Theridates, King (Louis XIII) 212 f. Thermopota 308 f. Thersippus (Scipione Cobelluzzi) 291 ff. Tiberius 56, 79, 81, 85, 96, 99 Tigellius 520 f. <?page no="617"?> 618 Index nominum Tigellus 343, 345 Tisiphone 391 Torsellino, Orazio 75 Toxillus 57, 131, 135, 281 Triton 93, 112 f. Tunberg, Terence 11, 34 Tyndareus 149 Tyrrhenus (Fabio Chigi) 30, 63, 180 f. Ubaldini, Roberto 35 Ubaldini, Ugone 20 Urania 333 Uranius (Gaspare Celio) 330 f., 340 f., 358 f. Urban VIII, Pope 13, 19, 25 f., 42, 46, 51, 65 f., 606, 608 Ursatus (Ferdinando Orsini) 187, 363, 365 Valla, Lorenzo 611 Varro, Publius Terentius 51 Venus 131, 135, 165, 343, 379, 394, 517 Verrius 443 Vesta 101 Vestrio, Marcello 19 Via 379 Virgil 27, 51, 58, 64, 87, 181, 229, 467, 521, 571, 611 Virgilius Ursatus (Virginio Orsini) 228, 363, 365, 611 Vittori, Loreto 36 Vius 60, 403 ff., 411 Vulcan 299, 403 Weinbrot, Howard D. 42, 611 Xenocrates 369, 393 Zancha 54, 58, 289, 292, 294 f., 304 f. Zanetti, Luigi 28 Zeno 493 Zeuxis 237, 239 Ziegler, Kaspar 52 <?page no="618"?> NeoLatina herausgegeben von Thomas Baier, Wolfgang Kofler, Eckard Lefèvre und Stefan Tilg Die NeoLatina wurden im Jahr 2000 ins Leben gerufen und haben sich seither zu einem maßgeblichen Organ auf dem Gebiet der neulateinischen Studien entwickelt. In die Reihe finden einschlägige Monographien, kommentierte Textausgaben sowie Sammelbände zu klar umgrenzten Gebieten Eingang. Von Interesse ist die gesamte lateinische Literatur und Kultur seit der Frührenaissance, z.B. die Rezeption antiker Autoren oder die Stellung des Neulateins im Kontext der aufkommenden Nationalliteraturen. Die Reihe ist für Klassische Philologen, Neuphilologen, Historiker sowie alle auf dem Gebiet der Frühen Neuzeit Forschenden von Bedeutung. Seit 2017 werden alle Bände einem Single Blind Peer-Review-Verfahren mit zwei Gutachtern unterzogen. 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Floris van Schoonhoven Lalage sive Amores Pastorales - Lalage oder Bukolische Liebesgedichte (1613) 2014, 468 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-6897-7 23 Thomas Baier / Jochen Schultheiß (Hrsg.) Würzburger Humanismus 2015, 305 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-6898-4 24 T. Baier / T. Dänzer / F. Stürner (Hrsg.) Angelo Poliziano Dichter und Gelehrter 2015, 288 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-6977-6 25 Patrick Lucky Hadley Athens in Rome, Rome in Germany Nicodemus Frischlin and the Rehabilitation of Aristophanes in the 16th Century 2015, 185 Seiten €[D] 88,- ISBN 978-3-8233-6923-3 26 Philipp Weiß (Hrsg.) Jacob Balde Epithalamion 2015, 195 Seiten €[D] 88,- ISBN 978-3-8233-6993-6 27 Thomas Baier (Hrsg.) Camerarius Polyhistor Wissensvermittlung im deutschen Humanismus 2017, 364 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8109-9 28 Tobias Dänzer Poetik und Polemik Angelo Polizianos Dichtung im Kontext der Gelehrtenkultur der Renaissance 2018, 295 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8163-1 29 Werner Suerbaum Vergils Epos als Drama Die Gattungstransformation der Inclyta Aeneis in der Tragicocomoedia des Johannes Lucienberger, Frankfurt 1576 2018, 514 Seiten €[D] 118,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8225-6 30 Francesco Furlan / Gabriel Siemoneit / Hartmut Wulfram (Hrsg.) Exil und Heimatferne in der Literatur des Humanismus von Petrarca bis zum Anfang des 16. Jahrhunderts L’esilio e la lontananza dalla patria nella letteratura umanistica dal Petrarca all’inizio del Cinquecento 2019, 592 Seiten €[D] 118,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8199-0 <?page no="620"?> 31 Wolfgang Kofler / Simon Wirthensohn / Stefan Zathammer (Hrsg.) Joseph Resch als Bühnenautor Die Brixner Schuldramen und ihr Kontext in Vorbereitung, ca. 240 Seiten €[D] ca. 88,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8230-0 32 Carla Chiummo / Wolfgang Kofler / Valerio Sanzotta (Hrsg.) Pascoli Latinus Neue Beiträge zur Edition und Interpretation der neulateinischen Dichtung von Giovanni Pascoli / Nuovi contributi all’edizione e all’interpretazione della poesia latina di Giovanni Pascoli in Vorbereitung, ca. 240 Seiten €[D] ca. 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8237-9 33 Stefan Tilg / Benjamin Harter (Hrsg.) Neulateinische Metrik Formen und Kontexte zwischen Rezeption und Innovation 2019, 350 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8266-9 34 Thomas Baier / Tobias Dänzer (Hrsg.) Plautus in der Frühen Neuzeit 2020, 372 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8323-9 35 Caroline Dänzer Der Schlüssel zur Tragödie 2020, 252 Seiten €[D] 98,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8383-3 36 Jennifer K. Nelson (ed.) Gian Vittorio Rossi’s Eudemiae libri decem Translated with an Introduction and Notes 2021, 621 Seiten €[D] 108,- ISBN 978-3-8233-8430-4 <?page no="621"?> Gian Vittorio Rossi (1577-1647) was an active participant in the intellectual and artistic community in Rome orbiting around Pope Urban VIII and the powerful Barberini family. His prolific literary output encompassed letters, dialogues, orations, biographies, poetry, and fiction. A superlative Latinist, Rossi unleashed his biting wit and deep knowledge of Classical literature against perceived societal wrongs. Set on the fictional island of Eudemia in the first century CE, Eudemiae libri decem is a satirical novel that criticizes Rossi’s own society for its system of patronage and favors that he saw as rewarding wealth and opulence over skill and hard work. An understudied figure, Rossi’s involvement with one of Rome’s premier literary academies and his relationships with intellectuals in Italy and throughout Europe provide a unique insider view of seventeenth-century Rome. ISBN 978-3-8233-8430-4